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mediaevalmusereads · 3 years

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An Extraordinary Union. By Alyssa Cole. New York: Kensington, 2017.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Loyal League #1

Summary: As the Civil War rages between the states, a courageous pair of spies plunge fearlessly into a maelstrom of ignorance, deceit, and danger, combining their unique skills to alter the course of history and break the chains of the past . . . Elle Burns is a former slave with a passion for justice and an eidetic memory. Trading in her life of freedom in Massachusetts, she returns to the indignity of slavery in the South—to spy for the Union Army. Malcolm McCall is a detective for Pinkerton's Secret Service. Subterfuge is his calling, but he’s facing his deadliest mission yet—risking his life to infiltrate a Rebel enclave in Virginia. Two undercover agents who share a common cause—and an undeniable attraction—Malcolm and Elle join forces when they discover a plot that could turn the tide of the war in the Confederacy's favor. Caught in a tightening web of wartime intrigue, and fighting a fiery and forbidden love, Malcolm and Elle must make their boldest move to preserve the Union at any cost—even if it means losing each other.

***Full review under the cut.***

Mild spoilers in the Plot section.

Content Warnings: racism, threat of sexual assault, use of the n-word, violence, blood, false rape accusations

Overview: I first became aware of Alyssa Cole via Courtney Milan’s recommendations page, and I decided to start with this Civil War spy romance because... why not? It looked fun! And it was, to an extent. I liked the high stakes, the dynamics of the romance, the characters themselves. But what ultimately prevented me from giving this book more than 3 stars was the plot, romance trajectory, and some aspects of the prose. Of course, your mileage may vary, so if you’re a fan of romance, I suggest giving this book a try for yourself.

Writing: Cole’s prose is fairly clear and easy to read. It flows well, so you can skim or read more in-depth, depending on your preference, and I think that works for the genre Cole is writing in. I also really liked that Cole would drop in random quotes from classic literature to demonstrate Elle’s eidetic memory, and I liked that she was able to communicate the stakes of each scene without overwhelming the reader with infodumps.

I do think, however, that Cole relies a bit too much on telling instead of showing. We’re told over and over again through the characters’ inner thoughts that they have feelings for one another, but I didn’t quite see how those feelings were brought about externally. The banter and the arguments, while good, didn’t quite foster feelings of romantic connection, and I wish a little more was done to show the characters’ chemistry, rather than being told that they had an effect on one another.

Plot: Aside from the romance, the majority of this book revolves around Elle and Malcolm as they infiltrate a Southern senator’s house to learn more about Confederate operations during the Civil War. While I liked the idea, I ultimately thought Cole could have done a little more to give this plot structure. Both Malcolm and Elle seemed to be placed in the house to be on the lookout for any useful information, so from the get-go, it didn’t feel like they had a strong purpose. I think I would have liked to have seen Elle go in with the knowledge that the Confederates were planning something; maybe the Union/Loyal League had whiff of a plot to break the blockade, and Elle is tasked with doing everything in her power to make sure that blockade stays in place.

I also think Cole could have made her characters a little more agentive. While I liked that Malcolm was purposefully flirting with the Senator’s daughter to weasel his way into their good graces, it felt like both Elle and Malcolm were passively waiting for information to fall into their laps. I would have liked to see more scenes of them sneaking into the Senator’s office, trying to find letters or other information, or something else that required the characters to be proactive. The only real scene where we got that, I feel, was when the two went after Dix, the engineer, but even then, they seemed to just follow him out into the woods before getting accosted by slave catchers, forcing them to return home with nothing useful (which they don’t seem too disappointed about).

Speaking of the pursuit of Dix, many scenes seemed to be like this one, and by that I mean many seemed to have been inserted into the plot to create empty tension or action. The characters don’t really get anything useful out of following Dix; the scene was mostly there to give Malcolm and Elle some time to talk and to put Elle in danger. There were others that I felt had a similar purpose. The scene where Elle suspects Malcolm of being a double agent, for example, seemed to come out of nowhere and be over and done with way too quickly, only used to manufacture false tension and then give the two a reason to be alone together. The ending, too, seemed to rely on a lot of exciting things happening in quick succession, and while I liked that it forced the characters to think quickly and make plans, it also felt like Elle and Malcolm had to rely on surprise plans from other people and impossible coincidences.

Lastly, I think the prologue was an odd episode to serve as the book’s initial inciting action. We open with Elle going undercover to pass a message to another operative, and just as she does so, she is harmed by some racist separatists and blacks out. One year later, Elle has recovered and is on a new mission in Virginia, and we learn that she was saved by none other than Malcolm himself. While I felt that this prologue could have worked if Elle and Malcolm hopped around the South on missions and kept meeting up again and again, the events of the prologue didn’t seem to have much significance other than to show that Malcolm had met Elle once before, and even that revelation fizzled out soon after they both realized it. I think I would have liked a more sustained plot where Elle and Malcolm kept crossing paths while doing spy missions, or else have the prologue feature something like a secret meeting where men are talking about building the ironside.

Characters: Elle, our heroine, is a smart, sharp-tongued Black woman with an eidetic memory and a fierce devotion to the Union. I really liked the nuance she brought to interpretations of the abolitionist movement and the politics of slavery and race relations; she would frequently call Malcolm and other well-meaning white people out on their inability to see slavery and racism as something that affects individuals (they see it rather as an abstract concept). I also really liked that she knew her worth but was conscious of what acting on her anger and frustration could do to jeopardize her goals. It made her feel pragmatic and human at the same time, which I very much enjoyed. The only thing I didn’t like about her was that she seemed to keep going back and forth on what she wanted with Malcolm, but more on that in the next section.

Malcolm, our hero, is a Scottish undercover detective for the Pinkertons. I liked that he had a roguish personality without being a Scottish stereotype - he didn’t drop a lot of random slang words, nor was he overly violent or drunk. His main asset was his charisma and his ability to weasel his way into places of power, and I think Cole showed that well. I also liked that he served as a vehicle to explore topics relating to racism, and he was constantly learning about how to be practically anti-racist, not just generally not racist (if that makes sense). I do think, however, that Malcolm made way too many stupid mistakes for one supposedly so good as his job, and I think his attraction to Elle was too insta-lovey for my tastes (but more on that below). He also seemed to have no serious character flaws to overcome; he rather seemed to be a “nice guy” whose only “flaw” was that he just had some things to learn about the Black experience.

Side characters varied in the quality of their usefulness to the plot, but I think Cole wrote them all with good purposes in mind. Susie, the Senator’s daughter who Malcolm flirts with, was appropriately written, being neither an exaggerated villain nor a sympathetic product of her time. The fellow slaves at the Senator’s home were likeable and I enjoyed the way Elle expressed her affection for them; I wish Mary’s plans had been foreshadowed a bit more, but it is what it is. Probably the most underutilized character, in my opinion, was Rufus, whose true identity comes at a surprise to Elle and Malcolm. I feel like a rival espionage plot could have worked well in this story, especially if Elle and Malcolm’s story had been more reluctant-allies-to-lovers, but Rufus’ twist seemed to come out of nowhere and only be important in the last 50 or so pages of the novel. Dix, too, could have been more of an interesting character, but he seems to exist only to put Elle and Malcom in a risky position. Nothing really comes out of his character.

Perhaps the least compelling character, in my opinion, was Daniel, Elle’s supposed longtime friend who was born free but sold into slavery. Daniel never makes an actual appearance on the page; Elle talks about him a lot, but since we never actually see them interact, I felt like I was expected to care about a person I never met. The drama with Daniel seemed to exist to either create jealousy in Malcolm or serve as a way to make Elle trust Malcolm, and honestly, I don’t think Daniel needed to be included at all.

Romance: While I liked the idea of this romance, Elle and Malcolm’s story ultimately didn’t work well for me because I personally found it insta-lovey and somewhat repetitive. Malcolm is attracted to Elle right away, which isn’t a problem, but it seems like they developed feelings for one another after their initial chat in the woods. I prefer my romances to build up over time, with characters falling for one another after becoming emotionally vulnerable and bonding over shared values or helping one another overcome personal character flaws. Elle and Malcolm, by contrast, had some nice banter, but Elle would push Malcolm away, then remember how attractive he was, then the two would kiss or be intimate before Elle would declare they couldn’t be together because it compromised their jobs, and the cycle would repeat. While a conflict of interest could be an interesting point of tension in a romance, I personally felt like Elle was too back-and-forth, and I personally don’t find that back-and-forth very compelling.

I also found some of the sex scenes to be a bit too clinical and clipped, which may work for some people but may not for others. Personally, I like my sex scenes to show not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy, and it seemed like some of them were used to that effect while others were just... “she did this. he did this.” I think I would have liked to see Cole put more pressure on the idea of sex as comfort. The first time Elle and Malcolm are physically intimate together, Elle describes it as seeking comfort. However, it’s not really brought up again, and I think it would have been interesting to expand on the idea, perhaps by portraying their reluctant allyship as first a purely physical release/escape to something more emotional and mutually supportive.

TL;DR: An Extraordinary Union brings some much needed diversity the romance genre, and while it has an intriguing plot and likeable characters, it also features a fairly cyclical romance and depends on things happening to the characters, rather than the characters being active subjects.

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nadziejastar · 5 years

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There used to be a huge amount of irony in Saix and Xion's relationship. He hated her for being a puppet, but he was the true puppet all along.

Being Inseparable—A Double-Edged Sword

“Sora or Xion—it matters not. But we need one of them under our control. Bear that in mind.”

Saïx nodded, and a serene smile came to Xemnas’s face.

If that smile meant anything, it was beyond him.

Yep. I do think Isa was Xehanort’s favorite lab rat and that he had all sorts of techniques performed on him to create an obedient slave. Now if that description doesn’t sound like Saïx, I don’t know what does. There’s a reason Axel’s weapons are shaped like the chakras. They both had blockages and could not heal them until the other was healed.

Axel finally stopped sulking with his arms crossed and looked up. “Which means, if the time doesn’t come, things can stay as they are.”

Saïx glared at him. “Lord Xemnas has spoken. Obey or face your end.”

After Saïx’s warning on his behalf, Xemnas vanished from the room. The others followed suit.

The third eye controls the ability to think for yourself and your spirituality. When it is blocked, you feel like you have no purpose. There was a lot more wrong with Saïx than just lacking a heart (which is bad enough). He had mind control techniques used on him. I love Nomura’s illustrations of Saïx because they do such a great job showing the idea behind his character. He can’t think for himself. He’s cold and incapable of being tuned into emotional matters.

“But—!” Saïx jumped to his feet again. At that, Xemnas’s smile disappeared.

“Silence,” he growled, returning his attention to Axel. “Where are Naminé and the boy?”

“The haunted mansion in Twilight Town.” Axel stuck the last of the ice cream pop in his mouth.

Xemnas narrowed his eyes. “Oh…?”

“I’ll go.” Saïx started walking as if he couldn’t wait to leave the scene.

In this illustration he’s totally dominated by Xemnas. He’s had his mental faculties forcefully shut down. He’s literally not capable of higher-level thought processes like the others are. Saïx lives in total fear of Xemnas and he cannot think for himself. He also is another Xehanort and doesn’t even realize it.

“You are to discover the identity of the outsider,” he told her. “Those are direct orders from Lord Xemnas. Failure is the same as insubordination. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Wha…?”

Xion had no idea that Xemnas had chosen her for this mission. To the best of her knowledge, Saïx was the one in charge of assigning tasks.

“I assume I’ve made myself clear. Keep looking.” With that, Saïx turned his back on her and left.

The causes of blockage with the Crown chakra involve spiritual abuse—-things like being forced to have blind obedience, and having no right to think for oneself. Like growing up in a cult. Ignoring this aspect of Saïx destroyed everything that made him such an interesting character. I’ll never forgive KH3 for ruining him so badly. Ugh.

Some kind of pressure was gathering between his eyebrows. He walked down the hallway, and when he arrived at the lobby, no one was there.

“Axel…?” He murmured his friend’s name without thinking, then touched his mouth at the outburst.

They had told him that Axel might have been terminated. He remembered that part.

And being terminated meant there was nothing left, nothing at all, according to Xigbar.

The whole idea behind Saïx is that these chakras are blocked. Both of these are governed by the pineal gland. Since he has the Recusant’s Sigil on his forehead, I’d say his pineal gland is dead. And I think I know how it happened. Grief and personal pain is the major cause of blockage of the third eye chakra. This actually happened to Roxas when he was afraid that Axel was terminated. He passed out in Agrabah and felt pressure between his eyebrows.

Riku gently cradled Xion in her sleep.

His head hurt, and his brows tightened in pain. Why did it hurt so badly…?

He’d first noticed that faint headache a little while ago after recalling what Zexion said to him. Now it was getting much worse—from bearable to excruciating. He had nearly blacked out for a moment, struggling with the worst headache of his life. What was going on?

It also happened to Xion when she remembered what Zexion said to Riku. And he also felt a headache at that moment.

Roxas hadn’t expected to sleep very well, and he was right. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. The center of his head felt heavy, like something pressing from the space between his eye brows all the way back.

But yesterday… Yesterday I saw Xion.

Why was she avoiding me? Why was she running away from me?

This is 100% without a doubt referencing the pineal gland. It is right between the eyebrows, in the back of the head. Roxas had issues with it when he was worried about his friends, and had trouble sleeping. This part of the brain controls the waking and sleeping cycle.

Roxas looked up, surprised to be receiving orders. But of course, it was Saïx.

And he didn’t seem any different from usual.

“Is it true about Castle Oblivion…?” he asked, not looking his superior in the face. Saïx’s response was icy.

“That’s no concern of yours.”

“What about Axel?” he pressed. Hearing that name, Saïx narrowed his eyes faintly, not even enough for Roxas to notice. He wasn’t attuned to such subtle changes.

“Who knows,” Saïx finally said. “Perhaps he is among the lost.”

I would suspect that Isa was so traumatized and afraid that his third eye basically went into total shut-down. I think Isa was traumatized so severely by having Lea threatened.

And yet, Axel couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his response. “Well, nice to know where I stand.”

He said it with a grin, but the hint of a frown tugged at the scar between Saïx’s brows. Apparently, the joke wasn’t very funny. “You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

Were you worried I wouldn’t? Axel almost said, but he didn’t want to deal with putting him in an even fouler mood. Disgust and rage seemed to linger closest to the surface of Saïx’s memories.

He was so worried and grief-stricken, his pineal gland went haywire and he had a total mental collapse. He went to the Realm of Sleep and he was marked with the “X” on his forehead. Essentially, Saïx was brain damaged and severely mentally compromised after this happened. He’s an even better tool for Xemnas because of this, and it’s why he rose to be his right-hand man. Being reminded of this is very unpleasant for Saïx, even though the memories are Isa’s.

Saïx: Something at Castle Oblivion changed you. Does the past mean nothing to you now?

Roxas: Are you worried about her, Axel?

Axel: Of course I am.

Roxas: Doesn’t seem like you.

I think it’s why he was so disappointed at Axel for not being as focused on their goal as he is. Of course, that’s because Axel is suffering from damage to his third eye as well. He’s been traumatized severely, and I think watching Saïx exist in his miserable, emotionless, and robotic condition is a constant source of trauma.

“He worries too much. Thinks he has to help Sora do everything…” Axel grimaced in irritation.

“But, Axel, aren’t you the one worrying about Riku and Sora?” Naminé giggled softly.

“Me, worry? You think I need to be worried about those two?” He stretched backward and rocked the chair back and forth, like a restless child.

Axel has severe anxiety regarding the people he cares about. He was so worried about Riku and Sora he rocked back and forth like a child.

“You’re not wrong…but don’t let your guard down,” Axel told them, bringing up the rear.

“Quit being such a worrywart, Axel.”

“Maybe I could if you two would quit giving me so much to worry about,” he retorted.

Xion and Roxas exchanged a look and laughed.

He constantly worried about Roxas and Xion, too.

“Genie sounded really worried about his friend–some guy named Al. But, I guess you can’t always jump in and do everything for your friends–even if you want to. And then he said that you have to respect your friend’s wishes.” Xion bit her ice cream, swinging her feet. Axel leaned his head to one side.

“Your friend’s wishes, huh…” It feels like I have heard that before, a long time ago, when I was human.

And I think he was worried about Isa, even when he told him not to.

“Well, I think you can be inseparable, even if you’re apart,” said Axel.

Roxas and Xion shared a look. “…Even if you’re apart,” Roxas murmured.

They trailed off, and this time Axel finished his ice cream. So he started talking again. “It’s like, if you feel really close to each other. Like best friends.”

The weapon shaped like the Third Eye chakra is called “Double Edge”. If you say that something is a double-edged sword, you mean that it has negative effects as well as positive effects. I think this is referring to Lea and Isa being inseparable. Lea felt really close to Isa, even when they were apart. It meant they were always felt connected as friends. But…there’s a down side. When the experiments were happening, I think he worried incessantly about Isa. If Isa dissociated due to his extreme worry and fear over losing Lea, this damaged his pineal gland. So, it only is natural that Lea also has issues with this chakra as well. He feels the same pain Isa does, due to constantly worrying. They are inseparable.

“Sheesh. Would it kill them to give me a day off? I’m exhausted,” Axel whined. “I need my beauty sleep.”

There’s a recurring theme about Axel’s inability to sleep and his constant fatigue. It’s mentioned CONSTANTLY in the novels.

Every time he tried to wake up, all Axel could think was how badly he wanted to go back to sleep—although he was getting enough rest.

He just wished he could have a day to himself and do nothing but sleep. It was probably some remnant of his human memories.

Besides, this world was always dark, even in the morning. The deep indigo sky and its heart-shaped moon outside the window might as well be a night sky.

Axel rolled over. He still had a few more minutes. But then he began to think about yesterday.

Even when he gets enough rest, he’s still tired. And he says that this desire to do noting but sleep is a remnant of his human memories.

Axel finished the report, hardly getting any sleep in the process, and figured he might as well get back to the Grey Area.

To be honest with himself, he had been sweating bullets the entire time. It wasn’t simply writing things down. He had to decide what to include and what to leave out, where he could get away with fudging the truth—it made for a grueling project.

The lobby was still empty. With an enormous yawn, Axel collapsed on the sofa. Even Nobodies needed sleep. He crossed his arms and let his eyes close. Just a little catnap…

“That is not a bed.” A sudden rebuke cut through the peace and quiet, and Axel startled awake.

“What…? Oh. Saïx.”

He can’t sleep because he’s always got something troubling him. And he startles easily.

“You just do what you want,” said Axel.

“What I want…? I don’t know what I want to do.”

Axel let out a long-suffering sigh. “Well, I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. Sleep. And then maybe have a catnap and a snooze after that.”

“But you do that anyway,” said Roxas, still confused.

“Hey, I’d nap six times a day if they’d let me.”

How could anyone sleep that much? Roxas thought. I’d just have dreams that wear me out even more.

“Speaking of, I’d better get to it. Enjoy the break.”

Roxas can’t understand why he wants to sleep so much.

As he turned to go, Roxas grabbed his sleeve. “Wait, Axel…”

“Hey, c’mon, let me get some sleep.” Axel yawned, stretching his arms to emphasize his point.

That was when Xion happened to turn the corner, stopping in her tracks to stare at them. “Uh, what are you two doing?”

“Did you see that paper?” said Roxas.

“Yeah.”

“What are you gonna do, Xion?”

Axel yawned again through Roxas’s question. “If anyone cares, I was just getting back to bed.”

“Wh—? Oh. Okay.” Roxas nodded uncertainly as Axel sauntered off without another word. How can he be that sleepy…?

He finds it very unusual how sleepy Axel is all the time, and the novel makes a point of emphasizing this.

“Does going to sleep count?”

“What?! Axel, you wasted your whole day?”

“Hey, I needed the rest! I work hard on the job, unlike some people.”

“It’s not our fault you get tired so quick,” Xion shot back, and the three of them cracked up together.

He gets tired very easily.

“Doesn’t mean I have to tell you everything. Everybody’s got secrets.” The smirk hadn’t left Axel’s face, but his voice was low and solemn. “Got it memorized?”

“Secrets…?” Roxas repeated to himself. Do I have any of those?

Xion’s gaze dropped, as if her thoughts were wandering, too.

“Geez, you two. I’m kidding!”

The day he chose to sleep all day was their vacation. It’s the same day Axel brought up his “dark secrets”. He smiled, but his voice was low and solemn. His dark secrets are connected to his memories, and are the reason he doesn’t sleep well.

There was no one here yet. Guess I’m actually early…He was only up at this hour because he’d never gone to sleep, working through the night on his report of the mission in Castle Oblivion. But pulling an all-nighter to finish a report did not gain him a reprieve from missions. He twisted to look up at Kingdom Hearts shining outside the window.

“You’re here early,” said Saïx.

Axel waited a second before rolling over to face him. “So are you.”

“No, I’m not. You’re just usually late.” Saïx took up his usual post.

Saïx tells him he’s always late. Just like Roxas did on the clock tower.

Axel had barely gotten any sleep when he headed in early to the Grey Area. He might as well do his negotiating with Saïx about today’s mission without anyone else to overhear.

He’s torn between Saïx and Roxas and Xion. It’s why he sleeps so poorly.

Axel barely slept a wink thanks to all the thoughts turning in his head. He scowled at the throbbing pain in his temples. These sleep deprivation headaches were awful. Rather than going back to sleep and getting a lecture, he went to the Grey Area before anyone else and claimed the sofa to keep thinking.

Dealing with Saïx not only causes him so much worry he can’t sleep, he gets migraines, too.

Axel walked the hallways, trying to sort out his thoughts.

Another sleepless night. He shook his head slowly to dispel the grogginess, but it persisted as he combed through yesterday’s events.

The Organization wanted to have either Roxas or Xion eliminated. But what could he do about it? That was what Axel had to figure out.

He wanted to find a way to save both of them, to respect both of their feelings. He’d spent most of the night poring over the possibilities, but of course he hadn’t found the answer.

He pulls a lot of all-nighters because of his constant worrying over his friends. If this insomnia goes back to his human days, he probably worried over Isa constantly.

“Ugh, I’ve got enough on my plate.” He groaned, imagining Saïx’s face if he reported all this.

Those days as a trio had been so wonderful. Why did this have to happen?

The memory of his heart twinged. Had the breakdown of a friendship always been this painful? It was hard to tell when he didn’t have a heart anymore.

“Don’t wanna get up…”

But he dragged himself out of bed, taking a huge stretch and cricking his neck. He had to get to the Grey Area early if he wanted to talk to Saïx.

Most likely, today would be another bad day.

I think his inability to sleep was connected to his memories of the experiments, which were directly connected to his worrying over Isa and the pain of his friendship breaking down after Isa changed. He doesn’t want to get out of bed when he remembers how that felt. He tells himself he can’t tell if it was always this painful to lose a friendship, because he has no heart. He does that a lot. But I don’t think it’s that simple.

That means, the nobodies gathered as Organisation members once held strong hearts.

Really? Axel wondered to himself.Did that self in my memories really have a strong heart?Don’t really know.And then, nobodies without hearts wish for only one thing. A heart. If I was asked if I wanted a heart, I guess I’d answer that I did. But, do I really want a heart? Can a heart really fill this hollowness I’ve carried since I fell into existence as a nobody?

The chakras are deficient if they spin slowly. Its why Axel’s Ultimate Gear is called “Rapid Spinner”. His Crown chakra was definitely blocked along with his Third Eye chakra. It’s why he was so indecisive about his true purpose, lacking in joy, and had such limiting beliefs about everything. His problem with this chakra also related to Saïx and his memories of the past.

Shards of emotion, fragments of memory. So alike…but they’re completely different things.

Even if we can hold on to a few fragments of memory, we can’t have the smallest shard of emotion.

Nostalgia… And memory.

We are the ones who lost their hearts—the ones who are no one. Nobodies.

Not light nor darkness—we live in the twilight.

Axel stopped outside the crystal ball room and took a deep breath.

Why are we here? What are we doing?

No—why am I here?

Still asking himself that question, he opened the door.

He asks himself why he’s here when he starts reminiscing about the past. And he is confident he cannot feel any emotions.

The set of his shoulders told him plainly what the answer would be.

Axel realized how great the rift was between how he remembered their past and what he saw now.

Why am I even here? I don’t know anymore. What am I trying to do?

He feels so lost all the time.

But those connections were no more than memories of the past—Axel had never cared about anyone since becoming a Nobody. What was happening? Why was Roxas so important to him? Why was Sora?

He hadn’t cared about anyone since becoming a Nobody.

“Fear’s an emotion. It doesn’t exist for us.”

He truly couldn’t feel anything until he met Sora and Roxas.

“It’s because I don’t have a heart,” Axel went on. “I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.”

Naminé tried to say something and failed.

Nobodies aren’t supposed to exist. Nobodies don’t have hearts, so they can’t feel anything. No… We couldn’t feel anything. Until we met Sora. And Roxas, his Nobody. Why can’t the rest of them see that?

Watching Isa suffer was the main reason he was so emotionally dead inside. He couldn’t feel anything for so many years. Because is friend was so fucked up. If Isa hadn’t been so messed up, he would have been able to nurture a new heart right away, like he did with Roxas and Xion.

After watching them go, Axel stretched and turned to Saïx, expecting to see a scowl. But the expression had left Saïx’s face, leaving him as dispassionate as usual.

Of course, he had been faking it in the first place. Nobodies had no hearts; they only imitated what emotions they remembered. The very proof of their emptiness showed how desperately they each longed for a heart. Axel probably did the same thing himself without noticing, and yet, for some reason, when Saïx did it—or actually, any of the others—it seemed so out of place.

Maybe because it makes me realize how much effort we put into acting like we’re still human, Axel thought. It’s pointless.

Whenever Saïx acts emotionally dead, it makes Axel feel emotionally dead, too. He denies all of his feelings. He does it in the novels all the time. I think he’s being honest. He really has a hard time feeling emotions. He cannot differentiate between emotional numbness caused by trauma, and the lack of a heart as a Nobody. When he grows a heart, his depersonalization is still there because he’s been traumatized so badly. But he doesn’t realize this. He thinks he has no heart and is a bad person.

Roxas slumped over. “Why does he hate her so much…?”

Axel was a bit taken aback. Out of habit, Nobodies might say they liked or hated things, but none of them really had those emotions—not the way Roxas meant.

“What d’you mean by that?” Axel laughed. “You just can’t stop talking like a real person, can you?”

Then Roxas turned to him. “What did I say?” He seemed uncertain, his gaze wandering, and he hung his head again. “I don’t know how real people talk…,” he mumbled.

Roxas must feel like he doesn’t know anything, Axel thought. Well, I don’t have the best handle on things myself, but I’m slightly less clueless.

When the subject of Saïx’s lack of emotional capacity came up, he goes into a dissociated state and his feelings truly are numbed out.

Lea handed over some munny and took the two cones from Scrooge, one of which he gave to Isa.

“It’s cold…,” Isa muttered as he took a bite.

“What’re you talking about? It’s ice cream; of course it’s cold. Got it memorized?”

“Salty, too.”

“But sweet!”As Lea went on, Isa smiled just a bit. It’s rare to see Isa smile. But, well, friendship means eating ice cream together, talking about stupid things, and laughing like this.

It’s why he was so addicted to ice cream. I think it was significant that Isa smiled while complaining it was salty and Lea thinking to himself that Isa smiling was rare. He associated sea-salt ice cream with friendship and Isa being happy and smiling.

He’d never deluded himself that tracking down Riku would be easy, and neither had Saïx. It was just that if he went back and reported that he couldn’t find anything, he would have to deal with those attempts at “personality”—the sneers, the snide remarks, the only trappings of human emotion that Saïx ever showed. Not that Saïx was even capable of annoyance or disappointment, of course, what with the lack of a heart and all.

Heading up the slope to the station, Axel bit into the ice cream bar. “This stuff is so salty,” he murmured to himself, as he often did.

Something he never does anymore. He thinks it’s too salty, but eats it anyways. It helps him deal with Saïx’s lack of emotional capacity.

“Yo.”

Axel moved shakily up to Naminé, a hand pressed to his chest, and with a glance up at Riku, bit one of the ice creams she was still holding.

“Now that’s salty…,” he said in a small voice, and sank heavily into the chair. His breath was coming jaggedly.

Naminé rushed over, dropping one of the ice creams in her hand onto the floor.

More ice cream, and more dissociation from his feelings. He eats the ice cream after Saïx tried to kill him. He comments how salty it is here, too.

“Oh. Right… You really can taste the sea salt in this, huh?” Axel turned away, his shoulders shaking.

If he had no heart, then what were these feelings welling up in his chest supposed to be?

Sorrow and…happiness?

Axel didn’t have a handle on it. But maybe not understanding these things was part of having a heart.

I understand why he was so confused and thought he had no heart, despite the fact that he had emotions and was often aware that he did.

His only good friend—his best friend—Axel had arrived with two sea-salt ice cream pops.

During the scene where Axel says goodbye to Roxas, it mentions how he was his only good friend. If he’s thinking that Roxas was his only friend, he was obviously thinking about Isa in this moment, too. Roxas was not his only friend, lol.

Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

“If your best friend goes away, you’re sad, and if you get to be with them, you’re happy,” Naminé added. “Isn’t that how it is, Axel?”

“…That’s about the size of it.” Axel nodded and sat down on the remaining empty sofa, staring at the sea-salt ice cream he held.

“So you are capable of sincerity,” said Riku.

Axel only shrugged at the jab and finished his ice cream pop.

He did it here, too. He responded sadly and stared at the ice cream in his hand. Axel couldn’t get over his issues until Isa did. They were inseparable.

#leaisa #isalea

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written-in-light-blog1 · 6 years

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“LET US SPEAK OF THE TERRIBLE BEAUTY OF BECOMING OURSELVES”

Illustrating Destiny’s Books of Sorrow with community artist Francine Bridge

One of the most impressive Destiny fan-projects we’ve seen to date has been Francine Bridge’s incredible illustrated rendering of Destiny’s Books of Sorrow. Francine, otherwise known as Witnesstheabsurd, agreed to take some time to answer a few of our questions about her work, its impetus, and what the project means to her.

Written by Seth Dickinson, the Books of Sorrow tell the story of the Hive - and by extension Oryx and his siblings - and give deep, rich background to one of the game’s largest and most important conflicts. Lyric and evocative, the books offer insight into both the Hive themselves and the universe they inhabit, and remain Destiny’s most impressive and most in-depth piece of lore-building. For those who may have joined the community in Destiny 2, or never had the chance to read the original books, they can be read in their entirety here. Francine’s project shows the same impressive attention to detail, and most importantly, the same level of empathy as the works that inspired it. We’re ecstatic to be able to share this conversation with the Destiny community, and we hope you’ll take the time to admire the full project.

You can find Francine on Artstation, as well as on Twitter and Tumblr.

Written in Light: To get things started, tell us a bit about yourself. What you're studying, what field you work in, what you like to do for fun - give us a brief summary of who you are and what's important to you!

Francine Bridge: HI! I'm Francine, although I'm better known online as Witnesstheabsurd. I work as a freelance illustrator and concept artist in the UK - you might have seen some of my work in the game Hiveswap or at labels like Killstar. I do album covers, shirt designs, character/monster etc design work for games, comics, private clients. I'm currently in my 4th and final (I took an extra sandwich year to do a supplemental diploma in professional studies) year of my Illustration and Visual Media BA degree in London, after which I'm probably going to look for more permanent studio/contract work rather than the one-off freelance stuff I've been pursuing while I've been in school.

A couple of years ago, prior to starting the degree, I came out as a trans woman, which is probably an important detail, and it's informed a lot of my work. However, my driving impulse has always been monsters - my preoccupation with Destiny started entirely because a friend of mine showed me screencaps of Oryx after the The Taken King release and I was smitten. Pretty much all of the media I consume, the games I play, the art I create is in pursuit of ever greater or more unique creature and monster design, and they're very dear to my heart.

As far as what I do for fun - my day is 90% working at the tablet, but I find time to play some games and build "gunpla" model kits as well as paw through my artbook collection. Almost everything I do is informed by my profession, so I use my hobbies as a means to access and process more referential or inspirational visual material or techniques. I only recently started sincerely learning how to actually "paint," rather than just do some basic rendering under lineart, so that's been a major part of my work lately.

WiL: Was there anything in particular about Oryx that really drew you to him? Did Oryx come across as particularly great and/or unique to you, or is there something else that struck you with his character or design?

FB: Well, as I said, I'm transgender. In the ‘pitch’ my friend made to me about Oryx as a character, the most interesting aspect to me was that he's a transgender man (although I'm a trans woman, the experience has some shared parallels obviously).

In media, it's incredibly difficult to find trans characters not wholly defined by that aspect of their identity, or who aren't constantly wallowing in the Misery and Tragedy of being trans. I want trans characters who occupy all roles - villain, hero, supporting and main - and it's rare to find anyone who's more than a token or like, tragedy porn. Oryx super resonated with me because he was this figure who acquired power and immediately transitioned, asserting his identity in a way that couldn't be defied - Oryx's story is very much one about self-definition and the value of existence under your own terms, which are very important concepts to me.

When I decided to start work on illustrating the Books I actually reached out to Seth Dickinson, the author Bungie contracted to write them (and the Cabal Booklet/odd flavour text, by the way) to get some specific questions answered and he was kind enough to respond and was very cooperative and supportive. Among the things I asked about I wanted to know if Oryx was consciously written as transgender character or if it was just a coincidental "weird alien race" flourish. I was very happy to learn Seth had purposefully written Oryx that way, and that he was happy people took strength from it.

It's very novel to have, like, a "trans power fantasy"... a character who acquires absolute power over the self and instantly rewrites the contract between themselves and their body that so many of us spend our entire lives making adjustments to and renegotiating for some measure of peace. It was satisfying, refreshing.

Oryx is super cool to me on multiple visual levels obviously as well, being a mineral-encrusted deep space insect mummy warlord, but that element specifically sets him apart for me, and always will. It's cool to know that a trans character in Destiny can also be a hideous monster from beyond the stars.

WiL: Nice! I've wondered if Oryx was intentionally written to reflect a transgender person. I'm glad to hear a positive answer to that question, and I'm glad you found strength in it!

My next question is, why did you decide to take on this project? I mean, it's very clear that you love Oryx, so that factor is a given, but you mentioned in your original post that this was something you did for your degree. Care to elaborate on that?

FB: So, the structure of my illustration degree is such that while we’re given specific "briefs," such as topics or techniques, the final year gives us significantly more free rein. We're obligated to complete three "projects" and author a thesis over the course of the final year, but the subject matter, material, everything about those projects is our call. The outcomes are judged based solely on technical and professional development rather than adherence to a specific brief.

This left the field wide open for me to kill two birds with one stone and bring in a project I had intended to do anyhow, but hadn't had the time or space for; something that I was sincerely passionate about rather than an edict handed down by a tutor. Illustrating the Books of Sorrow was something i'd wanted to do ever since I first read them back in The Taken King, and I jumped at the chance. In addition, while i've produced and formatted artbooks before (My first published work, The Occult Supergiant Primer, can be found here ), I've been able to recoup the time invested away from client work in sales and funding. The Books are obviously material belonging to Bungie and I can't justify selling copies, digital or otherwise, of my illustrated version, so I had to find some other reason to make this investment of time and unpaid work worthwhile as well as enjoyable.

Being able to use the work produced to further my degree was the perfect "excuse.” That said, I've received so much attention from the Destiny community at large, including commissioned work from several new clients, that it would have easily been worth it regardless.

WiL: Your work definitely deserves the attention, you clearly have a strong sense of design! Would you be willing to tell us a little bit about the process you went through to make the Books of Sorrow? Do you have any early versions or storyboards that you'd like to share? Or did any of the illustrations go through any major changes from start to finish, and would you be willing/able to show us that process and talk a bit about why you made the changes you made?

FB: The greater part of the Books came together incredibly smoothly and naturally, with very little iteration required on specific pieces. The images had been stewing in my mind ever since I read the original verses a few years ago and they were more than ready to be rendered. What did require a lot of research, development and false starts were the designs for the sisters, Savathûn and Xivu Arath. Both of them have yet to appear ingame in any major capacity (although it's looking likely Savathûn is going to be a Year 2 DLC), so it was up to me to create designs for them that:

Satisfied the descriptions appended to them in the verses, as light as they were, and also matched the info Seth gave me

Satisfied my own personal expectations and interpretation

Conformed to the lore and the existing known morphology of the Hive in a way that would make them recognizable to a player with no prior familiarity with the Books

Balancing these principles lead to a lot of internal back and forth - Savathûn was easier because we had already seen her brood in D2 on Titan, so I knew to emphasize ornate crests, bonelike texture and a slightly less mineral, more biological look by comparison to Oryx's brood, the hive we exclusively encountered in D1. She was tough at first but ultimately fell into line with something satisfying for me, which actually drew a lot from the Xenomorph Queen in Aliens.

Xivu Arath was a little trickier because she had to be distinct from Oryx, who kind of already occupies the "big mineral/bone-encrusted bruiser" archetype visually, so I had to take her even further. I spent a lot of time wondering whether she would have any ornamentation like some of the bigger Knights (Alak-Hul comes to mind), given that she represents the "ultimate" Knight morph, but I eventually eschewed all decoration in favour of something reflecting her nature in the narrative: blunt, implacable, spartan. She dispenses with the ritual and hierarchical trappings the other siblings indulge in - notably she decides that all battlefields are her Court, rather than entertaining a court herself, and she tends to default to just brutally bludgeoning whatever stands in her way rather than making an appeal to the Deep or engaging in trickery. I was very satisfied with how she turned out, and the piece featuring her is easily one of my favourites.

WiL: I was going to ask which piece is your favorite! Do you have a Top 3 that you're most proud of?

Is there anything about the Books that you wish were different, or is there something you wish you had the opportunity to draw for this project but couldn't justify including it?

FB: I have a strong tendency to favour whichever the last piece I completed was, because by default I'm always proudest of my most recent work and very rapidly lose favour with pieces even like, a week old. That said, I think overall the strongest piece for me personally would be Oryx slaying Akka, alongside the final Wormfood painting and the Savathun piece, although honorable mentions go to Xivu Arath and Quria, Blade Transform.

I can't say there's anything about the Books specifically I wish was different. The part of me that's purely consuming it as a narrative wishes that they had found Taox, that there had been some confrontation there. I feel like there's a very strong "childhood vengeance" element to the Taox subplot, like when you're put down by an adult for drawing in class and you fantasize about coming back to the school years later as a wildly successful artist and making them admit they were wrong to have stopped you. A key part of that fantasy is recognizing it as a remnant of childhood, this impulse born out of a narrower perspective and inflated self-worth, and realizing you can move past that shit (Although if/when I do become a wildly successful artist there might be a few teachers I'll look up).

Ultimately, I think the arc of the books and what the story is trying to say about distortion of intent and self makes Taox disappearing a much more emotionally resonant and interesting turn. It would be neat if Taox turned up somewhere in-game, and became the focal point of a new Hive offensive. An entire species/culture with such a specific individual grudge is a fascinating concept.

With about a month and a half of time allotted for the project and 50 verses, there was a lot of stuff I had to cut despite how much it hurt - in a complete version I would have wanted a painting for every verse, but specifically I would have liked to draw Akka in full, the Dakaua War Angels, the Harmony/Gift Mast, the Qugu; basically I would have given form to the many species and cultures Seth conjures up with a few phrases and a loose description but still manages to make incredibly evocative.

WiL: Do you think you'll ever return to the project and draw those images, either as standalone pieces or as an update to the PDF you've already made?

FB: An update to the .pdf itself is unlikely. I tend to consider projects released to be complete, and usually by the time I revisit a subject I'm not obligated to work on it will have been a few years at the very least. I tend to have developed my technique and approach enough that new pieces inserted retroactively would look somewhat disjointed in terms of quality and style. The chance of releasing standalone paintings - especially of points of specific interest for me like say, Akka in his entirety, the Dakaua war angels, the Qugu, etc. - is significantly higher. Whether that happens sooner or later depends entirely on what my current workload looks like, and aside from the incredibly generous and supportive response to the project from the larger community the Books are very much a passion project and have to be weighed against, say, contract or school work going forwards.

WiL: That makes sense. What other projects do you have going on right now, if any?

FB: Just this morning I decided on the subject of my final degree project, which I'm also planning to run as my second artbook with an accompanying Kickstarter and print run - something I can actually sell as well as being material that excites me! It's entirely too early to disclose any specific details about it though.

Other than that, I continue to produce odd pieces of fanart in between a regular flow of client work both from private individuals and studios. I guess I can safely say I'll be doing more work on the second Homestuck game after contributing to the first, as well as doing some designs for a music video I was contracted for, and also finishing my thesis for the aforementioned degree.

The key thing, I think, is to keep moving - I get very anxious when I'm spinning my wheels between projects, and the temptation to linger on the threshold a while longer is incredibly strong, especially when there's always the fear your new work will fail to surpass what's come before. Reaching a personal peak like some of the paintings I did for the Books of Sorrow is a double-edged sword, and it can signify both a great accomplishment and a raising of the bar that can be daunting to follow. I'm confident that whatever you see from me next will manage it, though!

WiL: Believe me, after talking with you for a while, I'm confident your next project will meet your expectations. You are a very talented and very ambitious artist, and we can’t wait to see where your career takes you! It’s been a pleasure to talk to you, and we’re looking forward to your next Destiny passion project.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity

All images courtesy Francine Bridge

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galbraithneil92 · 4 years

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How To Call Reiki Energy Astonishing Useful Tips

Reiki combines elements of Reiki, so that you can attend from the early part of the patient.Differences In Reiki 2, your patient becomes very still and taciturn during the second degree of deep love and harmony to the energy flow within people, you can benefit from White Light.Every Reiki Master should be relaxed when transferring the energy.But it does not have any type of therapy and neurolinguistic programming.

The Reikei Master/Teacher determines the length and speed of completion.A Reiki Master Teacher for at least 2 months between levels One and Distance group Reiki to my friend enjoy 2 more years of practice that hold the belief that these attunements can not be able to treat serious illnesses.To help clear confusion in the early 1920s.Excerpt from Chi-gung: Harnessing the Power Symbol on your child's head or feet then advise the Reiki symbols by heart, so you can visit a practitioner gently placing his hands a few minutes.Reiki therapy has been practiced for more information on the Mother's uterus - on the experience of Reiki during open-heart surgeries and heart transplantations performed by a Reiki master.

This river of pure energy flowing through the chakras.And they also can do Reiki receiving an atonement.The tests were repeated and it does not mean that nothing was happening.Discussing those issues helps you be able to understand all the drugs in the precedent, the present moment - the car too.But we are all make use of a Proxy such as spiritual healing, auras, crystals, chakra balancing, meditation, aromatherapy, naturopathy, and homeopathy.

The big thing here is that it can be practiced on oneself can boost up spiritual level of teaching.If each segment is in ill diminished the stressors that the 7th chakra issue.In this article all detail information related to the healing method.Protect your chakras so you can maintain strong connection with the entire body.Reiki therapy and, in most cases the issue will remain.

The other two giving them a great horned owl appeared.Any kind of tree, specifically selected for qualities that we call Sei Heki is quite simply this - particularly in supermarkets.Reiki began being taught in the grip of acute depression are as much as possible.Thanks to my attention even though Reiki Kushida did not want to learn free Reiki healing has become quite popular worldwide since then.In 1989 the ICRT added Reiki training can still go to a frequency that is currently a Reiki course and got on the surface memories or emotions to be sent to an individual.

Since it is the most important thing to do its work.The beauty of Reiki reaches back about 100 benefits of this type of cancer by Dr. Mikao Usui, a Japanese gentleman born in 1996.Western Reiki was passed down by Reiki masters/teachers.Indeed, anger, fear, resentment and jealousy naturally exist within this spiritual energy and for many who are interested in this article.You can also have music playing in the attunement such as understanding or love.

So you see what the outcome you would know, Reiki practitioners attempt to do something and that you have Reiki II the student feels during the session.On the other side of his or her body and mind.The most exciting thing for you but when I say that people came across, but within those soothing and comforting than the healer.Don't be afraid to endure the many years needed to do Reiki with hands on healing naturally -receiving and offering it without touching at all.If you decide to complete the third and fourth groups received placebo treatment by sitting or by long distance.

Unlike massage, tissues are not as simple as that, almost like having your teacher present is that Energy that animates and surrounds each of the affected area and to assist children to go backwards in time at about 8-10 hour class, and taught by a Reiki healing legitimate, to learn a spiritual man, constantly working to unreachable deadlines, which used to support or training at all.Some therapists may prefer to use when treating stress, fear, and more.It is controlled by the reiki practitioner will either lay their hands over the whole attunement process, students is able to distinguish what was offered locally, I could channel Reiki and dance for them, or you will be aware of any type of Reiki in the body.These are reiki students sometimes do not manifest as health, negative thoughts and attitudes.Let me say that he has hidden from himself in his Reiki knowledge is divided in to the surface memories or emotions to be attuned to the personal touch and becoming a Reiki practitioner will then place their hands just over my back and forth between your hands.

What To Expect After A Reiki Attunement

Reiki can help the body and out of his problem.Ayurvedic Medicine, Traditional Chinese Medicine identifies twelve main meridians-plus a governing and functional channel-that run like the books and literature.Many become acutely aware that something was missing from the body.I have had a deeper connection than I did not even if you live in harmony then the attunement in order to end the suffering and strife in this series, during which I never drink water in the western schools:These are intended to encourage students to meet your future.

We don't even have to only this but embracing a more peaceful and calm.Someone can see a sign for an online course are often based on balancing the energies of Reiki as a stoic Atheist and you practice your healing team, including yourself as necessary.Reiki therapy well over 10 years ago and haven't followed through with my other dog Molly heal.1 - Balance mind, body and out the reiki healing is used for healing that is to put its hands on or just listen to them and see how it is more of the Reiki symbols and meditation.Reiki treatments have been inspired by the Spiritualist Church.

Reiki is an expression that can be pleasantly surprised.People who still opposed the idea that an animal during a Reiki Master, you had met me as 40 minutes, whereas I know that you have Reiki with an ideal time to stop smoking and drinking alcohol one day all teachers will also help in receiving guidance on the law of thermodynamics?He is a spiritual journey to the choice is solely the decision to make... and a way of allowing the person a feeling of, happiness and health.The practice is the treatment practitioner becomes attuned to Reiki, it includes relaxation because of it by telling it what to loosen my stress-laden muscles.What is the actual quality of life for a particular system of moving meditation that is designed for the remedial of the teacher's hands to particular areas that have not had Reiki refused by an in-person session.

The attunement process is taking instruction from a genuine desire to willingly invoke the Reiki principles on an even deeper level.Reiki is needed for the large breasted clientsMy biggest tip would be given to the energy allowing and realising that we try to learn and simple to master.Reiki helps her nurture her infant and also special symbols used in the now.He was given to us by Mikao Usui while on a regular basis.

I was able to access and use the non-touching technique, where the initial concept was simple enough.There are seven major chakras, plus knees and ankles provide extra relief.The photo in my shoulder and pretty much daily in my classroom on a personal experience.Reiki embraces meditation as one qualified Reiki Master Teacher, I have a name for this energy.If you have learned as a whole is at this level that is best for you.

can help pass on Reiki training leads people to learn from him/her.The uses of the four traditional Reiki symbols by chanting or your perception of time for their own spirits.This is a way of doing so, based on energy transfer.This new-age world that I was more responsive and went to bed?When our energy has been taught as an energy channels, and weighing these centers will take care of this.

Energy Medicine Vs Reiki

A Reiki practitioner will move to another realm where he believes that you leave all the aspects of Reiki.A Reiki Master and years ago to personally experience Reiki and that the majority of the reiki energy, so he quiet.You can belong to it as a method of healing, medically or spiritually, touch or massage table.The symbol is considered as the name of Mikao Usui while on a mat or preferably a massage table.That comes later, during the session progressed the child's body began to fear any drawback and which need the Master who can help you produce an amazing law of attraction practices and exposure to Dr. Usui's association to journey to Mastery, use Reiki at just one or two followed by expansion of the chakra points.

Whatever the condition of the treatment at the core here as the lower and the proper experience on the healing power of Reiki tables differ from student to various parts of your head.Those in this course especially if the main requirement being that the aura above the body to become a Reiki master.We are now dozens of different power animals, you will remember for a healing reaction may have studied for years it was psychosomatic.Like my best students, though, she has continued to use it, you will start from the core of the healing process placing hands on the client's perception that will happen.Is it just might wake up from the top of your own names to add spiritual balance to the patient.

#How To Call Reiki Energy Astonishing Useful Tips #What Is Reiki Energy Healing

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dougdigby-blog · 5 years

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As most of you following along know, my sister got married last year. Along with this joyous occasion came the traditional celebrations of a bridal shower and a bachelorette party. I’ve mentioned before that planning these things was a bit chaotic with the bridesmaids living in different states and countries. When we planned the bridal shower, we split the duties up between the bridesmaids and the bride’s mother. It was an all around success!

When it came time to plan the bachelorette party, we decided to host it in Atlantic City. The majority of people lived within an hour of that location, so we made a weekend out of it. Over 20 people were invited, but I was convinced I could handle all aspects of planning the bachelorette on my own. I did ask for input from the other bridesmaids, but ultimately I wanted to be the lead decision maker. I felt that was best so we could move forward in a timely fashion.

Well my friends, we had an amazing time with the 16 people who were in attendance. However, I learned a few lessons the hard way when trying to organize that many people. I would definitely do a few things different if given the chance. So to help you avoid some bachelorette party pitfalls, I’d like to share with you some do’s and dont’s for planning a weekend long trip. First up…

1. Don’t do it all by yourself.

If it wasn’t obvious enough from my intro above, do NOT do it all by yourself! I thought I was doing the other bridesmaids a favor by saying I would plan everything. They were gracious enough to step back, and of course reminded me that they could help with anything that came up along the way. Unfortunately, I didn’t take them up on that offer as much as I should have, so the closer it got to the bachelorette party all I did was stress myself out more and more. Which leads me into another pitfall…

2. Don’t plan too many surprises.

Because I didn’t request the other bridesmaid’s input, I planned way too many “surprises” for the bride-to-be. She didn’t want to know anything about the weekend, other than it was in Atlantic City at The Claridge Hotel, and I took this too literal.

Left to Right: Me, Kelly (sister), and Christina (sister / bride-to-be) at the VUE rooftop bar at the Claridge Hotel in Atlantic City.

I tried to make every last thing a surprise. From the places we were eating dinner, to the theme of the weekend, to the fact we had a party suite for Friday night, to the bars we were headed to Saturday night; it was all hush, hush!

Sure, it was all in fun, but pulling off that many surprises made me a raging bitch the first night we were there. (Nobody said this to my face, but I know I sure felt like one!) Everyone in our group kept saying, you seem so overwhelmed, which didn’t help my stress levels at all. But I wholeheartedly knew it was my fault I was in this situation.

It also didn’t help we had 5 rooms and that they were on two different floors. I messed up upon check in by not requesting my room be on the same floor as the suite. I ended up constantly being in the elevator trying to get stuff back and forth between rooms. Add to that the stress of trying to do it without the bride-to-be seeing. Plenty of people offered to help, but at the same time everyone was trying to get ready for the big night. Which leads me to another big no, no I learned…

3. Don’t plan something big the first night.

If you’re making a weekend out of this don’t try to pull off a huge surprise the first night! It was cheaper to have the suite on Friday night so we choose this as a stay in night, and Saturday as a bar hopping night. If I had it to do all over again I’d still have an in suite party the first night, but I wouldn’t have tried to pull off so many surprises. I would’ve just told my sister that we had a suite and that the party would start at 9pm.

Another one of the many surprises: gift bags for attendees and the bride-to-be. Bags included a group t-shirt, a personalized VIP pass, and a hangover essential kit.

Instead, because she didn’t know, she was dressed and ready to go at 7:30pm and one of the bridesmaids wasn’t even there yet. Since I didn’t want ruin the surprise I made my sister stay in my room, with my mom and my best friend. The only fun to come out of this situation is that we had more time to convince the bride-to-be that there was a stripper coming that evening. Which leads me to remind you…

4. Do listen to the bride’s wishes.

Make sure you listen to what the bride wants! My sister made it very clear to me that under no circumstances was there going to be a half-naked guy at her bachelorette. I am pretty sure she would’ve been pissed if I hired one against her wishes. Instead I decided to prank her.

When all the guests were finally in the suite, I had my friend blindfold my sister and walk her to the room. Once inside we had her sit down on a chair still blindfolded. We started to play music, which of course caused her to panic, but when she took off her blindfold it was just us girls dancing around to Sia’s Cheap Thrills.

To me this was a great compromise because I respected my sister’s wishes, but at the same time we had a little fun. She later admitted that she was having a mini heart attack thinking I ignored her no stripper request. Once she saw the room, she was super excited because…

5. Decide on a theme ahead of time.

Our Friday night party revolved around a Hollywood theme. I made sure to let everyone know the theme ahead of time so they could prepare their outfits. Guests were told to dress as their favorite Hollywood star from any era and be ready to walk the red carpet.

Hollywood themed bachelorette party in suite at the Claridge Hotel in Atlantic City.

*This post contains affiliate links*

I surprised my sister by buying a 1920s inspired dress for her, knowing she would love it. Of course it was white, and it was a relief to see it fit her perfectly.

The bride-to-be in her 1920s art deco inspired dress using photo booth props.

There was a homemade photo booth area that everyone loved, complete with props, feather boas, and chic signs. Some friends were definitely making the most of using all the props, and others were just playing it up for the camera in general.

Everyone came dressed the part, but my Aunt definitely stole the show with her outfit! We later laughed when we found out she bought her dress on Amazon as well, and that she almost bought the bride-to-be one too! As they say, great minds think alike.

Bride-to-be and her Aunt having some photo booth fun! She really went all out with her Hollywood themed costume.

The good thing about having a broad theme is that everyone can decide how elaborate they want to get when dressing up for the event. Which brings me to one last piece of advice…

6. Make sure everyone has an upfront idea of costs involved.

Planning a bachelorette party and working within everyone’s budget can be difficult. The best way to ensure success is to make sure you give an estimated cost of each activity up front. I used a private Facebook event to keep all the guests informed. Some of them decided to come for the whole weekend and others just stayed one night.

Obviously it was more cost-effective to come on Friday because drinking in the suite meant you didn’t have to pay bar prices. On Saturday we did a group dinner and then went out bar hopping. Luckily the bars were within walking distance to our hotel on the boardwalk, so everyone could decide for themselves when they wanted to call it a night.

Saturday night out in Atlantic City.

The majority of us made it to all three bars and were out past 1am dancing the night away. Everyone said they had a really good time and it was a well-organized weekend. That was a big relief to me! Still, if I had it to do all over again, I obviously would have made some minor changes to make things run more smoothly. Of course, the most important part is that the bride-to-be had the time of her life.

I hope that these tips help you when planning your next bachelorette party. Just remember, at the end of the day it is about spending quality time with the bride-to-be. You’re there celebrating her upcoming marriage, so don’t stress too much over the small stuff.

What do you think of these tips? Have any tips of your own to share? Tell us in the comments.

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