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ruby-red-inky-blue · 2 years

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rewatching Pride and Prejudice (2005) and I -

i really do love this movie so much it’s stupid

as an adaptation i don’t think it holds up as well as i thought, specifically because Darcy isn’t unlikeable enough at the beginning. At the first ball he looks like a stressed-out puppy who has lost sight of his human and Lizzie is frankly cruel for judging him so harshly, the man is clearly drowning

like the point of darcy isn’t supposed to be that he was never really a jerk but that he was a complete jerk but *changed*

do i care though? no. MacFadyen’s Darcy is a hot mess and it’s a delight to watch

hand flex

Bingley and Mr Collins are possibly even funnier than i remembered (”No I mean it’s a pleasure that she’s here.......” Bingley don’t do it don’t do it dear god - “...being ill...” Oh god Bingley why) but there are some gems that I didn’t even catch before:

the proposal scene. my god. Collins just hands her the tiniest flower. Elizabeth is sat right in front of a ginormous ham the whole time. Neither one is looking at each other. it’s so funny.

I’m not even halfway through and Lizzie thinks Darcy is so hot. I feel like that didn’t happen this early on in the book and it’s honestly so funny because I cannot believe that she hates him because a) aforementioned kicked puppy look and b) she just. She just thinks he’s so hot. Nobody’s buying it Lizzie.

also Darcy’s look of raw unbridled terror at the sight of Lizzie keeps getting funnier. Emma gave the nosebleed to the wrong Austen character, 2005-Darcy just getting a straight-up anime nosebleed at the sight of Elizabeth at Rosings and everyone freaking out over the blood on Lady Catherine’s expensive carpets?? Honestly I wouldn’t even have batted an eye at it, he is so into her and would burst a blood vessel out of sheer distress.

the odd little pre-proposal scene where he bursts in at the Collin’s and runs back out a minute later? I’d forgotten, like...

(his little glance. Like the briefest recollection that, ah, yes. Chairs. Anyway - )

(the way he declines a cup of tea so incredibly earnestly with a look of utter bereavement on his face is so funny to me. You’d think he’d come to tell her that her entire family had died.)

the lead up to the proposal is so dramatic, and i think every viewer under the sun knows what is coming, but i would just like to point out that in a different movie this shot reads vaguely like a period horror film:

his entrance is so sinister?? he’s obscuring the shot with that dark coat and towering over the camera and Lizzie - and then cut to the next shot where we’re right back to deplorable puppy, this time of the fell-into-a-pond variety

my god there is no preamble, he just starts ranting. i’ve consumed this scene in gifs only for so long i remembered it as pretty romantic if misguided but this is a trainwreck

see the first couple of lines here are where this is an odd adaptation. He’s so tortured you don’t even really notice that he’s kind of insulting her at first, and Lizzie seems genuinely concerned when she says “I’m sorry to have caused you pain” when in the book that is not the vibe I got, and then it kinda seems like it escalates a little too much

that said, it’s still glorious. I’m watching through my fingers. I can’t bear it.

Elizabeth Bennet, here seen looking at “the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry”

sure, girl.

controversial opinion, but somehow, in a movie with famously grandeous beautiful Jane Austen language, this line is my number two most swoonworthy line of the movie:

same, Lizzie.

the scene where Darcy gives Lizzie the letter is gorgeous. It’s also quite strange? it does somewhat suggest that she knew he would turn up - he literally pops up in the mirror as if she’d said Bloody Mary three times, and she doesn’t seem remotely surprised to see him

also while I assume that was normal back then it does amuse me that he just up and walks into someone else’s house - and what did the servants think? he certainly wasn’t dressed for a visit, and young Miss Bennet certainly wasn’t dressed to receive visitors in any case! Scandalous!

if that letter had been read to Lizzie as it is to the viewer, she wouldn’t harbour that much lingering resentment. 10/10, no notes.

dramatic single tear when she talks about Darcy to Jane *sniff*

“Oh no, let’s not [see Darcy’s estate]. He’s so - he’s so - he’s so - he’s so rich!” oh Lizzie...

Lizzie’s acrid little giggle when they lay eyes on Pemberley SENDS me. It’s both “of course he’d live in there” and just a little bit of “....shit is this what I was offered?” and honestly, i get it

i’m not saying people didn’t have rooms exclusively for their collection of marble statues on a working estate, but it does seem... a bit much. Especially that you would have all of these lovely images of mythology and ancient nobility and then a bust of yourself right slap in the middle?? Like Darcy isn’t the type to comission a bust of himself, but even if we assume that his late father comissioned it (already a bit of a stretch since the bust hardly looks that much younger than Darcy) whose idea was it to put it there, among nymphs and gods? Was it in his father’s room and Darcy looked at it after his father’s passing and just went, it’s a statue isn’t it, just put it with the others?

that said, the woman is done for (they even ASK her if she thinks he’s handsome like they don’t have eyes or something)

Georgiana and Darcy are so cute i can’t -

also Darcy once again first dramatically appears in a mirror - I get it Joe, I get it, it’s a theme, they’re so alike, Lizzie is seeing it now (it’s pretty cool i don’t know why i’m so glib about it)

WHY IS THIS SHOT THO I’m dying this is so dramatic:

“I thought you were in London!” “No. No, I’m not.” What you are is a desaster, Darcy.

The fiddly hands, the talking over each other, the almost yelling every other word, Lizzie is so desperately searching for ANY topic of conversation and he’s so stupidly earnest about her inconsequential traveling plans and god they both look like they’re about to start sobbing this SCENE

“We’re going to Mattlock tomor-” “Tomorrow??!” Stoppp my heart

also the closeup of the hand say what you will but Joe Wright knows his audience

not Lizzie jumping headfirst into a storage room and hiding behind a curtain when she sees Darcy at the inn. i mean i would have done the same probably but still

Georgiana digging poor Darcy’s grave in 30 seconds flat:

immediate flirting of the most desperate degree, and Mrs and Mr Gardiner stood right behind them for the whole thing, visibly wondering what the hell is happening:

also Darcy doing anything to keep Lizzie around longer is so precious. Look at this man. This man does not fish with strangers. This man fishes in solitude. That is clearly why he fishes in the first place. Now he’s inviting some old man to fish with him. Just so she won’t leave.

Behold, a masterpiece:

“This is grave indeed... I will leave you. Goodbye.” WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

god I love Lizzie taking Lydia’s wine glass away and then taking a good long sip herself because it’s all so hard to stand. And then suddenly in the middle of all her insipid chattering Lydia gives a damn fine observation of Darcy (because she isn’t prejudiced... get it) and takes back her wine glass

sidenote but i love how affectionate the Bennets are with one another, it’s so sweet

just this:

Lizzie now hiding behind walls as there are no storage closets or curtains available

Darcy started wearing stripey waistcoats. You know who else wears stripes a lot?

-”I return to town tomorrow.” -”So soon!” oh how the turntables

Bingley and Jane are almost as tragic als Lizzie and Darcy. Jane is so dense where Bingley is concerned. And I would have LOVED to see how Bingley roped Darcy into roleplaying??? his engagement??? He’s playing Jane

Mrs Bennet sloooooowly herding everyone into the kitchen because Jane may get engaged so NOBODY MAKE ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS HE’S SKITTISH (except Jane obviously. Jane needs to be there. For Jane’s engagement. Naturally.)

meanwhile Lizzie and Darcy mourn the one that got away, apparently separated by a single tree

i love those little shots of everyone at Longbourne at nighttime, it’s so domestic and sweet, with the servant singing to herself and the sisters spending time together

“Perhaps Mr Collins has a cousin” is an underrated line for sure

the whole scene with Lady Catherine is WILD like she arrives in the dead of night, no servants no nothing, impertinent with pretty much everyone in the house, only Dame Judy Dench could pull this off

here it is, the biggest swoon of the entire movie bar none (again, controversial, but they improved on Jane Austen here. I will take no criticism at this time):

“One word from you will silence me on the subject forever.” and she just gazes at him silently! they’re a lot

I really do feel for Darcy, he makes his whole speech and Lizzie just looks at him and takes his hand and says “well then” and “your hands are cold”, like, girl, you’re killing this man

(yes the sunrise forehead lean is peak romance i’m not made of stone!)

Okay so from Mr and Mrs Bennet’s point of view, Lizzie got yelled at by an elderly aristocrat in the middle of the night and when they woke up the next morning this dude that Lizzie has proclaimed to hate for half a year now is asking for her hand in marriage, looking like he literally rolled out of bed and walked into Mr Bennet’s office. And now Lizzie tells Mr Bennet that she loves Darcy while Mrs Bennet watches him pace holes into their front yard. Can’t blame them for being slightly confused tbh

Darcy did not - I cannot stress this enough - Darcy did not go home to change??? He went into Mr Bennet’s home, still half-dressed, in only a shirt and that dirty-ass overcoat, no hat no waistcoat no CRAVAT like a HARLOT he couldn’t wait two minutes, men of his standing wouldn’t have been seen on the street looking like that, this is how you go and ask for your future wife’s hand in marriage?? This man is so horny

and probably terrified she’s gonna change her mind

this scene!!! they’re so cute

the revolving door was unfortunately only invented in the late 1800s, because there would have been a prime opportunity for a dad joke for Mr Bennet otherwise

Lizzie and her father laughing the exact same way is the sweetest, most touching way to end this film (we don’t talk about the weird Sixteen Candles ending okay? Okay.)

i love this movie so much i’m not even mad i had to pay three euros to watch it again, 11/10, a delight

#pride and prejudice #pride and prejudice 2005 #keira knightley #matthew macfadyen #carrie watches #it's been SO LONG i forgot how trash for this movie i am #the last time i saw it was a few years ago dubbed into german with my parents #and i spent most of it having to explain to my parents why this is actually a funny movie because they were (inexplicably) bored

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josieandthepussycatsofficial · 5 years

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i have done my classic thing: i have started pride and prejudice 2005, i am 7 minutes in, and i am disgusting with this bastardization of the text

my liveblogs below the cut

elizabeth is a man-hating love-hater? not according to any book jane austen wrote!

elizabeth is too silly and improper, mrs bennet, kitty, and lydia are not at all silly enough

this sucks

lizzy is upset that mr darcy didnt find her attractive? that is a devastating mischaracterization and sets the whole plot and their relationship off on terrible and incorrect footing.

also wtf are they sitting under some benches at a dance?

hate that darcy immediately looks at elizabeth (in a way we’re meant to assume means he finds her attractive) as if his attraction to her comes from her initially from her appearance. he really was not interested in her until he began observing her behavior and interacting with he

when mrs bennet says, “it’s a shame [charlotte lucas] isn’t more handsome,” a terribly improper and humiliating thing to say, mr bingley snorts a laugh. mr bingley is not supposed to be improper at all. he has good breeding, he’s rich, he’s just also very nice and friendly. he would never laugh at that

i do not know enough about the regency era to comment, but it seems to me that there are certain liberties with historical accuracy wrt clothing and such in this film that you don’t see in the bbc miniseries. for instance, elizabeth coming to netherfield with her hair down? i don’t believe women ever wore their hair down at this time (*edit* the bbc series and this movie take place in different periods. bbc series: 1813, movie: 1797)

why is mr bingley so awkward? i mean i know why, it’s to make him seem charming and unthreatening and cute and relatable or whatever, but it’s just inconsistent. his character is extremely warm, friendly, polite, not terribly intellectual, but not a bumbling mess who can’t execute a thought without backtracking because he’s so nervous around his lady love

the book has comedy to spare, you don’t have to cheaply manufacture it in this way just because the director’s scared that his audience won’t understand the original humor/scared that he won’t have the ability to make the original humor understood/doesn’t understand the original humor himself because he doesn’t understand the source material!!

i also hate the sharpness and vitriol that this darcy puts in his language. he’s supposed to be uber-polite but cold and haughty. propriety doesn’t permit active hostility (such as when he’s bemoaning the liberal use of the word “accomplished” when applied to women) in regular conversation. that’s intense and insane

why does he speak so quickly? also they really should not have cut the whole netherfield drawing room scene, at least not the conversation between darcy and elizabeth about teasing and pride. they actually now that i think about it cut his whole thing on how a great man can never be too prideful. that’s really fuckin important character stuff! for both of them!

the comedy in this mr collins scene is not landing. they’re like laughing at him before he’s gotten too outrageous. and the actor is such a quiet, mild-mannered dude that he’s not really grating as he should be. this is supposed to be an extraordinarily annoying character, so annoying that the bennets can’t stand him for literally one meal.

ugh they have mrs bennet suggest to mr collins that he should pursue lizzy instead of jane. that’s not out of character for her at all but it misses the opportunity to show how scuzzy mr collins is, and also how fucking little he cares about who his wife is, assuming she meets the criteria of lady catherine de bourgh

ew mr wickham is so skeevy! lizzy’s into him because he’s hot and picked up her handkerchief? that’s it? is she an idiot? he’s not charming or good-natured or fun or funny at all. lydia: he’s a lieutenant! wickham: an enchanted lieutenant (referring to being enchanted to meet lizzy). like scream! what a gross pick up line!!!!)

and their flirtation is based on banter (no!) and him being self-deprecating (maybe, but not in such an obvious way “ignore me i’m next to nothing” what a fucking weird thing to say)

he literally charms her by pulling a quarter out of her sister’s ear. are you kidding? is she 8?

this dance scene btw elizabeth and darcy is all wrong. she immediately jumps on him with “it’s your turn to say something” after it’s been .1 seconds since he last spoke, and he spoke way more amiably (”indeed, most invigorating”) than would be his wont.

oh my god they’ve stopped dancing to angrily talk to each other in the middle of the dance floor? this is so incoherent with the characters (so improper!) and the time period. just cultivating more drama. this scene’s already juicy, they don’t have to be spitting angrily into each other’s mouths for it to come across

so silly and melodramatic that twice in this movie the entirety of a loud crowded drunken ballroom has screeched to a halting silence immediately for some minor drama. the first being the bingleys and mr darcy simply entering the room. the second being mr collins introducing himself to mr darcy (that one is especially ridiculous)

oh god why are they portraying mr collins as so sympathetic and sweet? he’s a fucking asshole! he’s not just annoying he’s a dick! that’s important, otherwise elizabeth is really unjustly mean to him, especially while she’s rejecting his proposal

oh i disagree with the way they play charlotte’s reasons for marrying mr collins. instead of her just not being romantic and marrying for practical reasons because that’s her nature, they make it a biiig thing like she has to marry because she’s old and ugly and otherwise she’ll go to the poorhouse

it’s not surprising that a lot of my critiques have to do with them pumping drama that doesn’t make sense into the story. making characters shout or spit words etc, because of course that’s what a hollywood film was going to do with a 19th century novel of manners

i guess i should say some good things about this movie. the cinematography is very lovely, obviously. i think it’s well cast, especially judi dench, with the exception of kiera knightley and the actor who plays mr collins. i think matthew mcfayden could’ve been a great darcy had he actually known anything about the character beyond the script

actually i take it back, judi dench isn’t quite amping up the ridiculous nature of this character like she should. they keep a lot of her silly lines but she doesn’t hit them to emphasize just how silly they are. she’s almost too stately to play this woman who, despite her great rank, enjoys spending her time being condescending to lower rank people

here comes my agreement with the grand critique of this movie: they make darcy out to be socially awkward rather than a haughty ass. he’s leaning in and whispering that he has trouble conversing with people, as if he means he has social anxiety and doesn’t mean, “small talk with simpletons bores me”

oh no they cut the delicious piano practice scene! they rewrote it and lizzy just says, “you should practice,” and we don’t get to have this famous, witty misunderstanding that elucidates darcy’s character so well!!!

oh no no no in this scene where colonel fitzwilliam tells lizzy that darcy split up bingleys attachment he tells her that the problem wasn’t the lack of fortune but the family! why?????? that’s half of the big reveal of darcy’s letter????? it’s when she realizes that oh his intentions weren’t so bad

i know i already said it but fuck darcy speaks fast. it sounds like shit. why doesn’t he just shut the fuck up and slow down? it’s weirdly inconsistent with his character. though i guess if they’re trying to rewrite him as socially awkward this could be part of that. but they shouldnt be! because it invalidates the whole premise of the story, their romance, and his character arc!

whoa whoa whoa and in the proposal scene when she says “why did you propose by telling me you’re doing this against your better judgement” he interrupted apologetically, trying to explain. what!!! no!!! he is an asshole! he’s insulted that this low rank woman would dare reject him. he didn’t suspect for one instant that she would. he’s fucking fuming from her first word

wow they’re chopping up this iconic proposal scene huh. i guess to make darcy still seem like a Nice Guy. he didn’t get to accuse her of only rejecting him because she was insulted by his proposal, she had to say that line. this movie is like, let’s make lizzy seem as insane as possible, and darcy as sweet as can be.

you’re not supposed to realize how wrong lizzy is, it’s supposed to creep up on you very slowly. youre supposed to feel like she’s been very reasonable up to this point, and you’re as shocked as she is when she reads the letter.

even his face! so shocked and sad like a kicked puppy standing there in the rain (we won’t even touch why the fuck they’re standing outside in the pouring rain). he’s angry right now! he’s so mad! he’s supposed to be fucking mad, because he’s a proud, arrogant, asshole!

oh my god and look he’s saying the lack of fortune of the bennets had nothing to do with it, and lizzy wow she’s sooo crazy for suggesting it, even though 20 seconds ago he just said it sucks that i’m in love with you ‘cause you’re so low class. god this scene sucks

there’s a reason this is all written in a letter in the book, it works much better that way. this is not a back and forth, lizzy doesn’t get to ask questions and poke holes. he offers his defenses and is still kind of a dick, and lizzy has to read it all without responding or rejecting it, really has to sit with it, the way you can’t do in a fight

oh and he just apologized for accurately noting that elizabeth’s family is often really disgustingly improper! how fucking out of character! both in general and in the scene because, and i can’t stress this enough, HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ANGRY

oh ok i have to redact some of my former criticism. he finally gets mad at the very end here, and makes the comment about “did you expect me to rejoice in your low birth?” though he still didnt say the crucial “perhaps you would have accepted had not the manner of proposal offended you”

wait what the fuck??? did they just lean in for a kiss and lean away?? like a whole, i’m angry at you i’m hot for you let’s fuck thing? what the fuck? not only is that cheap romance melodrama but also lizzy HATES this man. not like oops i love-i mean hate you but really hates him

why do they choose to have elizabeth not tell jane about the proposal? i can’t imagine there being any reason? except of course that’s she’s secretly already in love with him and doesn’t want to admit it! gag

this scene between elizabeth and mr bennet about lydia going off with the forsters is well done imo

ugh god but they’ve given lizzy’s “what are young men to rocks and mountains?” line to mary, making it seem stupid and platitudinal, because that’s mary’s character

oh good, elizabeth is going on another “all men are trash” rant that is a thinly veiled reference to darcy. they’re just fucking taking a wrecking ball to this character’s credibility and intelligence huh?

this is really devastating actually because at this point the movie is telling us that lizzy is fighting through the anger and hate and realizing she loves darcy, after their sexy confrontation and his letter. in reality, she’s realized she was wrong and is doing some deep self-reflection.

she feels a little sheepish about how she boldly she accused darcy of things she was so wrong about but she still isn’t in love with him because he’s still a fucking proud ass! he just happened to be right about some shit that she was too prejudiced to realize

it doesn’t make sense if she falls in love with him before he grows and becomes a good person. it shows a weakness of character on her part and makes his eventual character growth just a cherry on top. oh that’s nice, they’re in love *and* he’s not gonna treat her like shit. totally invalidates the whole point of the story, overcoming personal defaults and finding healthy love that way

wow they make lizzy so stupid! she objects so stupidly to visiting pemberly! oh let’s not. he’s so…. he’s so… he’s so rich! wtf are you talking about? in the book she’s just kind of like eh idk…. do you really want to go? i guess if you think we should go… oh he won’t be there? oh cool let’s do it

ok so i’m 1:21:54 into the movie. i have 45 minutes left. i’m stopping. i’m angry and getting no joy from this so. this was a humiliating project for me, thinking i could enjoy this movie. never again

#pride and prejudice

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i-writeandread-blog · 5 years

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A Portrait of a Tortured You and I - Chapter 2

Authors Note: I don’t edit or proofread usually when trying to get content out quickly, so I am aware there may be issues with my use of past and present tense. Please know I will fix any and all errors!

I was snapped back to reality, when I heard the horn blow on the ferry. It was pulling up to the dock. I was equal parts excited and nervous. This wasn't my first rodeo, I had been to over 50 concerts, traveling all over the world to see Mars, I was also a Camp Mars alum... but this was the first time I had left the comfort of my home since I had been brutalized.

Life has a funny way of surprising you though. Since the attack, my sisters and I have made up. I don't think we would have, had the unfortunate not happened.

Since I received the anonymous letter and check, I started working on getting better. I still wasn't out of the woods. The occasional panic attack and nightmare still happened. I didn't know if they would ever go away, but they were becoming less and less. I did have a few issues getting on the plane, but I used the breathing and grounding techniques that my therapist was teaching me. And here I am, ready to finally enjoy life again. I was so anxious to get to the island and get settled in.

Some of the Echelon that I was still friends with were meeting up with me and it was all about strength in numbers. That gave me comfort knowing that they had my back in the unlikely event I began to panic.

I looked around seeing many unfamiliar faces and was slightly confused. Having traveled a lot to the European shows, I expected to recognize people I knew, but alas I didn't. We began to load onto the ferry, everyone in a rush. I felt a bump and a push and at first just chucked it off as everyone being so eager and not looking where they were going. I felt an attack coming on and steadied myself against the railing. "Okay, you've got this. Breathe in, now breathe out." I did my breathing exercises and didn't care if people thought I was crazy. It subsided and I went to give myself a figurative pat on the back when I turned around and saw an unwanted familiar face.

"No one is buying it, freak!" She was laughing and acting so smug.

"What is your problem, Natalie?" I asked. I honestly wanted to clear the air with her. I knew I'd be seeing her at a ton of events going forward, as I had been for the last fifteen years. I'd like to be able to enjoy our precious time with the band without having to constantly worry about problems with her.

"You honestly don't know, do you?" She grinned, all the while looking at me very curiously.

"No. I've never had problems with you. In fact, when you were writing that Jared smut, I was your biggest fan, always complimenting you on your writing. Last years camp we even enjoyed some time together. So Nat, what's the deal?"

"You don't get to call me Nat anymore. Just do me a favor and fuck off." With that she stormed off into a group of girls all high five-ing her and congratulating her on a job well done being the biggest bully. The saddest part of this was that Natalie is a 44 year old woman acting like a 20 year old. It wasn't cute. Not by a long shot.

I was on edge the whole ferry ride which lasted approximately an hour and twenty minutes, but felt much more like an eternity. My eyes were constantly darting around and anytime the boat rocked, I felt absolute dread. I was repeating a sort of mantra over and over in my head, “you’re gonna be in the presence of Mars soon. It’s going to be the best time!” I just knew once I was there and settled, that I would finally be able to let my guard down. I would be able to relax and have the best time.

We pulled up to the island and from the boat, I could see the beautiful art installations and hear the sounds of laughter mixed with music being played on loud speakers. I was home, in my element. Memories of previous camps creeping in my head and replacing all the negative ones from the past year. I watched as Natalie and her groupies got off the boat before me. I was wishing and trusting that she’d forget that I was here, now that she was also on the island.

Check in was literally right at the dock and there were many faces I recognized there, I sighed a great deal of relief. Walking up, I presented my ID, passport, and my booking number. A cheery girl many years my junior, took my items and said, “Hi, Catherine, how was your trip here?” I smiled, “it has been uneventful up to now.” I didn’t need to tell her all of the details, she was just making small talk. “Okay, you are in.... hmm. I don’t see your booking, that’s strange. Hold on a second.” She turned and walked off. I was growing more nervous by the second. Was my email from Shayla fake? But if so, how did I end up with $3,000 dollars? I started putting pieces together. Maybe the email was fake and my parents gave me the cashiers check. This would be so awful, if true.

I was told to step aside while someone else took over that computer and was checking more guests in. I couldn’t breathe and I started crying and shaking. The place I was supposed to feel most at home in was now not feeling so homey.

The girl came back and asked to see any printouts I had from AiW. I fumbled around looking for the email from Shayla and any correspondence directly from Adventures, I grabbed the first thing which happened to be the original confirmation when I bought the package in January.

She took it from me and cross referenced something on an iPad. “Hmmm, I see this booking existed and then it was canceled. But, I also see your name is on the list of attendees. We don’t finalize the list until all payments are made. This is odd. Do you have proof of payment?” I didn’t have that, but I was able to show her the email from Shayla after digging around once more in my bag. “Oh, well I guess this actually makes sense now! Okay, so you had the moonlight tent package. Let me find you one that’s available since we don’t know which one you’re supposed to be in, anyway.” She found one that had a bed free and loaded up my bags onto a golf cart. I told her I didn’t mind walking, and set out to find my tent.

I hadn’t seen any of my friends yet as many people were still being ferried over and we all had different boat times. It was peaceful. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, the music was a great selection of garden variety pop and rock. I was actually feeling great, now that it appeared the email wasn’t fake at all.

As I was walking, I caught a glimpse of Jared and Shannon talking over by some trees. They were wearing swimming trunks and smiling as they talked. I thought to myself that they looked extra adorable and almost tripped from not looking where I was going. I heard a voice that I would know anywhere shout, “watch your step, the ground isn’t even!” Shannon chuckled as he spoke to me from a distance. Jared looked in my direction and waved. I kept going and finally found my tent. Number 4, one of my lucky numbers. I was at peace.

My bags were sitting on the only available bed and I made my way over to it, to start making my little space my own. I heard someone walk in, but they must have walked back out because I never did see anyone. Once, I had made myself comfortable, I decided to lay down and allow myself time to soften up. I needed to unwind in the worst way and the quiet was really tranquil.

I rested for what was likely to be about an hour, but I have no actual idea as I hadn’t looked at the time. I was awoken from reverie to a commotion outside the tent. And I drew my legs up and started rocking back and forth.

The problem with being out in the real world was that everything was so unpredictable. Loud noises were everywhere, no matter the cause... they were most always innocent. People fighting... that was a hard one for me, but I saw my share of it in the airport between husband and wives, or parents and children. Now, here on the island there is it’s own set of issues. I needed to know the cause for the arguing. I needed to know I was safe. So I cranked my neck forward to get a really good listen.

“Ughh, I’ve looked all over for someone who can help me and I can’t seem to find anyone that cares or knows what to do! I’m going to just start screaming. Maybe that will get someone’s attention!”

I instantly knew it was Natalie.

“Don’t worry. This is a great opportunity. We can fuck with her as much as we want.”

“Hahahaha, no! I don’t want to be anywhere near her. She’ll play the victim no matter what and then I’ll get kicked off the island. Nooooo thanks!”

“No one has to know.”

“That’s true! Oh wait, there’s Shayla. Let’s get her attention.”

“Shayla, we desperately need your help!”

“Not now ladies. I’m looking for someone. Can it wait?”

“No, it can’t. We are stuck in a tent with someone we don’t like.”

“That’s hardly a reason to throw a fit. Can’t you just ignore each other?”

“Me? Of course! I can avoid her, but it’s not me to worry about. Catherine, will be the problem. She’s gonna hurt me in my sleep or something. She’s really unstable.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. She was actually trying to make me sound like I was a monster. What’s worse is we were to share a tent for three nights. I became violently ill and threw up right there in the bed.

“Did you say Catherine? Where is she?”

“Hell if I know.”

Shayla stepped inside and took notice of me.

“Oh my goodness, are you okay, Catherine?”

I nodded. “Let’s get you cleaned up and out of here. There was a mistake at check out. This isn’t your room. I’ll have someone clean up in here, don’t worry.” I went to protest, but she waved her hands at me. She picked up a towel and wiped my face. I was so humiliated. I had known Shayla for a few years and she was always so kind, we were nothing but acquaintances so to have her help me when I’m at my lowest was really humbling and extremely embarrassing. She handed me clothes from my suitcase and I quickly changed into them. “You ready?” I sighed, then nodded.

Shayla had her arms around me and walked me out of the tent. She gave Natalie a stern look and said nothing. We took a few steps and I overheard a scream followed by, “that nasty cunt threw up in here, how fucking gross!” Shayla reassured me and told me to just ignore it. I tried, but I still couldn’t get over how things were unfolding. I was still so confused as to how it ended up the way it did with Natalie.

We arrived at some bungalows and Shayla motioned for me to follow her. At first, I thought this was where she was staying or maybe it was first aid. I was really perplexed, but I followed her in. She turned around and said, “I’ll have your things sent here. Is this room okay? I wanted you to have something peaceful to wake up to, this was the only room with a direct view of the sea.”

“Shayla, I’m completely baffled. This isn’t my room. Why am I here?” I had to ask because I knew there had to be a mistake. “I must have forgotten to tell you, the donor upgraded you to the VIP experience and this was meant to be your room from that moment on. Unfortunately, when I went into the system to change everything, there was a glitch so it erased your booking entirely. You shouldn’t have been in that tent and it’s my fault you had to experience that unpleasantness.” She looked truly sorry.

“Shayla, you couldn’t have known. But is there anyway you can refund back some of the money to whomever paid for me? I’d like to just be where I was if I had paid my own way?”

“Catherine, I’m under strict orders to make sure you have a smooth vacation and that you have a wonderful time. I can ask, but I don’t think there’s a chance that they will allow that to happen.”

“Shay, who was it? I won’t say anything, I just am a little freaked out that someone did this for me.” I pleaded with her to tell me. Honestly, I was more scared now then I had been traveling here alone. What if this person meant me harm?

“I can’t say. But they’re not a threat to you. I can assure you of that.”

“Okay, whomever it was is trustworthy? I have your word?”

“Yes. Now, I suggest you do whatever it is you need to, because your itinerary is completely full starting in about an hour.” She handed me a paper filled with activities and times. She was right, completely full, starting with front row seating to the soundcheck.

#thirty seconds to mars #jared leto #30 seconds to mars #campmars #shannon leto #marsisland #jared leto fanfiction #jared leto fanfic #jared leto fic #jared leto fiction #jared leto fan fiction #jared leto fanfics #aportraitofatorturedyouandi chapter 2

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waitingonadoctor · 7 years

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Doctor Who Panel - Ottawa Comic Con 2017

I haven’t made a post here for a long time but this is the most fandom thing I’ve done in a while and wanted to share. I attended the DW Panel and we had Peter Capaldi, Alex Kingston and Jenna Coleman in Ottawa which was great because we never get anyone and certainly not a current Doctor. They were all wonderful and I really enjoyed the event. Here are some of the highlights (I say highlights but this is basically the whole thing)

Q: Peter Capaldi (PC) what do you look for in a partner? PC: longevity

Q: Fave monsters? PC: Likes the Daleks but his long time fave are the Zarbi from the episode “The Web Planet” Alex Kingston (AK): When she was young, she liked the Cybermen but now its the Silence (she never actually said the name, she acted like she couldn’t remember it and Jenna ended up being the one to say it) Jenna Coleman (JC): She also likes the Silence. She finds the scariest monsters are the ones which never have to run but move slowly

Q: Fave Dalek scene? JC: When she was a Dalek ("Asylum of the Daleks") CP: When they were shrunk and put into a Dalek (someone from the crowd shouted rusty, “Into the Dalek”) AK: When she killed a Dalek (”The Big Bang”)

Q: Fave emotional scene without giving away any spoilers? JC: The diner scene. It was shot over two days as they shot some of it in the diner and the rest in the studio. She didn’t think the parts shot in the studio were meant to be emotional, when she enters her Tardis. But Peter was there when he didn’t have to, in his own clothes, and seeing him there made her emotional AK: Saying good bye to David, getting the ‘piss off’ (her words) from Matt, and for Peter it was hard for both of them to hold back their emotions but still be able to show it to the audience, of knowing what was in store for each other without the other knowing.

Q: Jenna asked what it felt like dying JC: She read in the script a raven was meant to fly at her, but she didn’t know what to expect on set and whether they would actually get a raven which would be made to fly at her. So when that didn’t actually happen she was so relieved she kept forgetting to actually die.

Q: Choose a show or movie for Doctor Who to do a crossover PC: Game of thrones, because the Doctor can definitely take down the white walkers AK: Lord of the Rings, and the Doctor to face the Orcs JC: The Thick of it (so Pc vs PC lol)

Q: If they could choose a name for the Doctor what would it be JC: Bob PC: Doesn’t believe the Doctor’s name can be understood by humans, so it isn’t a word AK: When she was shooting the scene where River Song whispers the Doctor's name, the first take she whispered the name Shaniqua (lol) and caused an NG. She kept changing the name every time they shot the scene but wouldn’t say the other names

Q: Fave line? PC: I’m the Doctor AK: Hello sweetie JC: Chin boy, show me the stars and Run you clever boy (They got into a discussion led by PC, that Steven Moffat likes to notice peoples different quirks and bring it into the script. So it’s not a trait of the Doctor but the actor e.g. like how he runs funny.

Q: PC why does Doctor who appeal to young people today especially with an episode like "Thin Ice"? PC: (I loved how he answered this question and I’m not going to do it justice but here goes) There are a lot of things going on in the world right now which are bad, terrible and crazy. And it’s up to writers to put across a message about the times we live in. The Doctor sees things from a different perspective from all of time and space, to see what’s truly good and what’s truly bad. It’s in the Doctor’s character and we all have to keep saying it

Q: Do they have any input into how their character is written? JC: The script is fluid during filming and Moffat can put a joke she said before hand into the script AK: Likes how Moffat writes characters to be unique, so they have their own speech pattern. You can see a line without naming a character, but you can still picture exactly who would say it PC: Even though he doesn’t change the lines they can interpret and deliver the lines differently from how they are written in the script

Q: Fave episode? JC: Vincent and the Doctor, likes she get to meet such influential people from the past AK: Also really loved Vincent and the Doctor, and that the Doctor was able to take him into the future and show him how people admired his genius and talent (honestly one of my fave scenes also) PC: Frontier in Space (To him only six people cheered after he said this so jokingly wondered if we are all really Doctor Who fans in the audience)

Just some things I took note of

JC knew for a year she was leaving the show. They had already decided that Clara could not return to Earth, so she was happy with the ending

AK told us David Tennant loves playing cards. And him and Catherine Tate played a game between takes which she joined, to name a band from the last letter of the previous band named. They all got so into it they were more into the game than the actual scenes

Alex was asked if she would do a show with John Barrowman as River Song and Captain Jack Harkness. She walked over to Peter and covered his ears by placing his head against her stomach and covering the other with her hand, and whispered yes into the microphone.

They are all for the next Doctor being a girl, PC added a woman as well. If they could choose an actress to be the Doctor AK choose Frances de la Tour, PC choose Melissa McCarthy, and JC declined to answer sort of hinting she could be in the running (the host added because the Doctor can choose a face he has known i.e. like PC)

AK says she can’t have a fave Doctor because it’s the same person but he is like a snake which sheds its skin (loved the metaphor), but River Song enjoys that the different Doctors come in different shapes and sizes ;)

PC told us his punk rock band was called Dream Boys (was very embarrassed by this admission) and his stage outfit was a white shirt and a bow tie. So he has always loved bow ties

The fave character AK has played is Lady Macbeth. She never grew up believing she would be on tv as Britain doesn’t have Hollywood like America. So hoped to make it in theater

PC was asked what it was like being a side character on DW before becoming the Doctor. He gave a funny excerpt of how he sneaked into the Tardis and played with the console because he thought it would be his one and only chance in the cheapest toga ever made (thankfully it wasn’t)

#peter capaldi #alex kingston #jenna coleman #doctor who #dw cast #doctor who panel #comic con #ottawa comic con #long post #really enjoyed the panel #being a big fan of alex and peter #(love you too jenna)#i love them even more #hoping to make it to montreal next #as david tennant will be there

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