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the-converse-high-top · 5 months

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going out at night is exhilarating

#so i was on call with my friends #and i was like “you know what i should go to the park for shits and giggles its 3am”#so i went #and i realized my phone was dying #so i decided to go back #and on my way back my phone died #which was fine #but that meant that i couldnt keep talking to my friends #so i was on my way back #and i realized the last time i went to the bathroom was 5 hours ago or more #so im standing on my doorstep now trying not to awaken anyone #and im also trying not to piss my pants #i open the door (and have to move a mountain of stuff out of th way because i never use this door i only used it tonight for ease of access #and before i can even close it or take off my shoes i BOOK IT to the bathroom #i have the piss of my life and then come back out to close the door #then i have a mini-panic because i thought i lost my keys #turns out i just threw them on the bed in my rush to piss XD #and then i finally turn my computer back on and get back on with my friends and type this post #this all happened in the span of 5 minutes btw #int'l friends i would love to get on a call with you all sometime and show you the park at 3am #hopefully without almost pissing my pants through lmao

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yardsards · 3 months

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living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more

#eliot posts #i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry #just experiencing some Ideations #but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry #ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt''#suicide mention #suicide tw #tw suicide #american healthcare my beloathed #dogshit private insurance my beloathed #also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday #it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level #my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them)#and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it #with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually''#and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program #(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent)#so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down #it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday #and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''

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maydays-medbay · 1 year

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Friends talking through something difficult...

Poor lads

[Novabird - bottom left - belongs to @dimorphodon-x. Ether is mine]

#Novabird #Ether #transformers #transformers ocs #maccadam #dimorphodon x #digital art #I looked back at old posts and recall these two having a possible friendship dynamic #this is mostly based on a reblog that someone did of my original post #they talked about these two kind of bonding over starhawk's death (or not depending on the au)#Ether feeling thankful that Nova didn't have Hawk die in the one au is an interesting take on it #If it's the one where he dies though Ether would do his best to help Nova in whatever way he could based on experience #It's not easy to lose a parent after all #Sorry if Nova looks weird #there weren't any back references so I left it rather blank #And the colors are rushed and meh but whatever #the idea is what's important since I drew this on a tiny phone screen lol #my art #nova is not my oc #ether is mine

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pinkseas · 6 months

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girls when they get called angel 💞💗❣️♥️❣️♥️💕💓💘❣️💖💞

#I KNOW ITS A JOKE IM JSUT. dies.#also smth abt . the amount of angel symbolism or imagery in so many of my fave characters #like a LOT of those fuckers are angel coded in the most fascinating ways it makes me insane #also if ur reading this i prommy ill answer u properly in the morning my phone just Hates Me #or i could... get up and turn my computer back on..... and try to write......... hmmmm #alyalyoxenfree

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mattodore · 5 months

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collection from matthias’s tags 🐺

#i’d add more but i’m on my phone rn so i can’t #river dipping #matthias core #echthroi #moodboard #i think… it’s pretty obvious how he died #like putting all of these together #i think you can honestly piece things together yourself about a lot of what happens to/has happened to mattodore #based on their playlists / core tags / and pinterest boards #if you watch the plague dogs… yeah. that was matthias.#like i said. matthias is ice and water. hail storm. sleet.#…the other side of that where theo resides is all fire everywhere and melting wax #alive in every way matthias isn’t and eating of himself #hm.#yeah.#i just noticed my queue posted while i was looking for these posts in his tags 😭#what a perfect time for that quote to post 😭#anyway… going to read a bit and then i’ll get back to my inbox #i’m trying not to get distracted bc i really want to get this done!!! but yeah #cw blood #cw drowning #cw animal cruelty

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bimiio · 7 months

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<3

#y’all idk wut it is abt me but da last like 4 or 5 times i’ve gone out i’ve been asked if i’m latina by latina women #(n one man we’ll get 2 dat in a sec hold awn)#i have ended up making out w two of em tho so i mean hey ig just looking n dancing da way i do is a good way 2 get hot bitches 2 approach me #back 2 da MAN tho cuz dis was wild #i wasn’t even in da club i was OUTSIDE ACROSS DA STREET!!!! w a group of like 5 ppl 4 of which were MEN #n these two guys come up 2 us n then zero in on me #one of da guys speaks spanish da other guy speaks spanish n english #so da one dat speaks spanish said smthn 2 me but i clearly didn’t understand so his friend starts translating 4 him #talkin abt sum ‘ur so beautiful how’s ur night going are u gonna go back in the club?’ etcetc #n i’m answering very uninterested but still polite looking at da ppl around me like do y’all see dis like..: cant even escape men outside😭#n then i tell them i’m a lesbian n not interested n da spanish speaking guy gets his friend 2 translate him saying “even better’#EVEN BETTER?? 4 WHO my boy????😭#n THEN he gets his buddy 2 translate ‘there’s no way this girl doesn’t speak spanish she’s just lying cause she doesn’t wanna talk to me’#which.. first of all #if sum1 is fully pretending not 2 know a language they speak 2 avoid talking 2 u dat is ur cue 2 exit #second of all i only speak english i’m SORRY😭#then dis mf turns 2 me n starts speaking directly 2 me in spanish???#sir.. no hablo español! no entiendo español!!!#then i told him 2 gimme his phone so i could get his instagram so i could block him <3 #n his friend went ‘oh hell no’ n steered him away😁#anyways moral of da story is #men r annoying women r sexy n fun amen #m1n3 #m1sc #0ut

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roylustang · 12 days

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ran a marathon yesterday bc I ❤️ pain and suffering

#this was not ur grandmas road marathon either #it had 4600 feet of elevation and AT LEAST 15 if not 20+ miles of FUCKING SANDDDD #THE FUCKING SAAAANNDDDD THE HORRORSSS #imagine running through beach sand uphill for miles……..that wasn’t gonna happen lol we hiked that #also there was a 20-30mph headwind once the afternoon hit so that was also fun #and I did not have the energy to jump over the creek crossings on the way back so I succumbed to The Wet #but honestly surprised my body held up considering I died internally at the end #my middle back is sore and my shoulders #and my legs r just fucking tired but we got 3 more miles to do today yeehaw 🤪#running #my phone also died at mile 21 so then I was forced to listen to my thoughts ew #I was definitely suffering but I had a good attitude about it #which is a weird mental space to be in ngl

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ereborne · 4 months

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Song of the Day: January 16

"Coast of Carolina" by Jimmy Buffett

#song of the day #when I said my schedule would be back to normal today apparently what I meant was my sleep schedule would be obliterated today!#it snowed and I wanted to sleep in and so I reset my alarm but then my phone didn't get plugged back in and it died!#I slept through all my work day and woke up feeling quite refreshed to find several politely displeased messages from my boss #unfortunate!#I did sleep incredibly well though. better than I have in maybe a year #anyway my kitchen is clean again finally and my plants probably will not die and I have done quite a lot of frantic report-building for wor #and I'm going to sleep again now to nap for a few hours so I can be awake for real worktime tomorrow and apologize! unfortunate!!!!#love this song though. very soothing to croon. baked lovely brownies to this song while fretting tonight and it did help #edit: I'm awake and I've written out my apologies and Jo is here and purring so so loud #and I woke up with a different Jimmy Buffett song stuck in my head #Coast of Carolina is the one I was humming when I went to bed #but I've woken up with 'The Wino and I Know' which is also a fabulous song and which also did play as I made my sadness brownies #'just like a fool when those sweet goodies cool / I eat til I eat way too much #cause I'm livin on things that excite me / be they pastry or lobsters or love #I'm just tryin to get by / bein quiet and shy / in a world full of pushin and shovin #and the wino and I know / the pain of back bustin / like a farmer knows the pain / of his pickup truck rustin #strange situation / wild occupation / livin my life like a song'#a later edit: my lovely apology message has been left on read. unfortunate!!!!!!!! I do keep laughing though

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elijah-loyal · 2 months

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who wants to see embarrassingly old edgy and cringy art from when i was a teen

(i am crawling into a hole and dying)

for context, this is what my art looks like now (so much better, but then again, i got older and healed): https://www.tumblr.com/elijah-loyal/741314223875981312/and-faintly-ever-so-faintly-on-the-inside?source=share

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magicalgirlmascot · 11 months

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Bionicle Ghost Trick AU where Matoro winds up with the "powers of the dead" after his sacrifice and spends the entire rest of the series frantically rewinding time to fix things every time someone dies

#bionicle #i have been playing the ghost trick remaster and uh. everyone please play ghost trick out now on the nintendo switch #im not joking when i say its my favourite video game of all time #anyway mashing my blorbos together as usual. havent had a weird fusion au like this since the gl au its about time for a new one #how does the red star factor into this? it doesnt. hope this helps <3 #you'd def have to kill off way more people since death is no longer permanent. kopaka dies and matoro brings him back and hes like ??????#trouble is I'd need another way for him to travel long distances since bionicle doesnt have phones #yeah thats the only logistical issue here hahahahaha #god this is even more self indulgent than usual #gt au

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meowthiroth · 1 year

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welp, guess I'm an android user now

...it's been a Day

#i dropped my old phone like a foot onto carpet and it just. fucking turboshat itself #like. died instantly despite being at around 80% battery #kept flashing the low battery screen and just boot-looping for like an hour straight #luckily my roommate was able to stick my old sim in his phone so i could make sure all my accounts were accessible without it #but regardless i needed a new phone. so i had to order a new one & he took me to the store to pick it up #but then his CAR turboshat itself on the way there too #somehow it went back to driving normally & we were still able to get to the store & back home #but just. holy fuckign shit #ace screams into the void #vent//

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healingheartdogs · 1 year

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All of my planning and worrying didn't matter because he went on his own last night at home and it was traumatic as fuck for me and Selene both.

#dont read the tags if you dont want any details #he didnt seem that bad yesterday #he was swollen but he was still up and moving around on his own #he even took all his meds and ate a full bowl of food without any trouble #we called the vet to ask them to call us back to discuss options yesterday around 4 #vet called us back around 7 to discuss new meds to keep him comfortable while we got home euth set up for him #and we agreed ro go in today to pick them up for him and then got off the phone #and like five minutes later Banana suddenly started panting hard #so me and Selene sat on the floor with him trying to figure out what was wrong #and he started having a seizure which we're used to so we were keeping him company waiting for it to pass like normal #only it didnt #he suddenly died in my arms instead while I cried and screamed and tried to get him to start breathing again #selene call d the vet and told them we were bringing him in for an emergency visit and i was just sitting on the floor numb #cuz i knew the vet was too far away to be any help and even if they werent it wouldn't matter #he was already gone #he was gone so fast and I wasnt ready #it was so fucking horrible #im never going to be able to get the way he looked before he collapsed out of my head #my poor old man #that was not how it was supposed to go im so sorry

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jedi-bird · 1 year

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My partner is off to the office soon to play online games with their friends. I had planned to write a bit, or at least try to. But honestly? This day has sucked and I'm emotionally exhausted. I think I'll just go to bed way too early and deal with waking up in the middle of the night when it happens. Tomorrow will either be better or worse but that's future me's problem. Current me no longer gives any fucks.

#vent post #this hasn't been the worst week of my life but it's been pretty shitty #tornado hit near my house the other day #we got lucky and only had some really strong wind and thunder but it was closer than I'd like #my cat died and another is acting weird tonight and i really don't want to have to go back to the vet already #I'm going to give her some kitty electrolytes tomorrow and some recovery food that's been recommended and see how she does #i was late to my appointment today and I'm not sure how i feel about this doctor #they didn't really listen to me but they at least partially listened to my partner #they did however send my for lab work to test for everything which is nice #but also sucked because i wasn't mentally and physically prepared for a blood draw and now i feel like crap #I'm glad i got it out of the way today because it gives me less time to be anxious about it but also it sucks #dropped off our tax papers and I'm fully expecting a phone call tomorrow because i think i missed one #picked up dinner tonight as a treat and decided to try something new and couldn't eat it #it wound up being so spicy i got sick #so now my stomach is messed up on top of everything else #things will get better but it's hard to see it right now #maybe some sleep will help #maybe I'll get lucky and won't dream

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wabblebees · 1 year

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the universe is mean as hell but at least its fucking funny

(cw for christian end-times conversion bullshit under the readmore)

#tonight has been ! bad ! and my brain was not a great place to be for most of it bc iiiiits been getting worse. again. so #i went on a walk to clear my head and Stop thinking of being dead but ! lo and fucking behold !#its okay ill be fine i promise #but i was laughing the whole fucking way home #i always take down or wreck shit like this when i see it out+about ((also saw a fucking inf//owars sticker that was too cold to peel off so #i had to take my keys to it until it was unrecognizable)) but when i saw the front of this one i was just like ''oh gross'' and tore it off #but i uhh. wasnt rly expecting that top sentence lmfao #started fuvking cackling like a madman in the street #for context if yr reading this and don't know already/cant tell:#im a xtian cult survivor. this is conservative xtian apocalyptic propaganda shit. im furious this exists but holy shit its fuckin hilarious #reading ''hey pal u ready to die?? god lovehates yr guts'' when yr just trying not to think abt how ready to die u are... fucken incredible #i covered up the url on the bottom + im not gonna show the front ((its fucking awful tho omfg. yhe fuckign flag+white house are on there??#wild lmfao)) bc i dont need their right-wing apocalypse-fearmongering bullshit to get any more web traffic #plus its not like this shit isnt dimeadozen further south/out west. its just been a hot minute since ive seen anyth this edgy-guilt-trippy #in this state. figures. out in the yeehaw-ass back half of mass.#anyway. i hate it here lmao #im more ok now too i promise #walked back home once my phone died + forced myself to eat food+drink water; now im back in bed and texting someone to stay out of my head #i think i might actually go out w better stickers+a knife+some nailpolish remover sometime in the next few days before im headed back home #take down some bullshit and. oooh... think i might put up one of my ''transsexuals have got to get meaner'' sweatermuppet stickers:>#hmmmmm. yeah #cw cult mention #tw christianity #cw bible quotes #cw christianity #tw suicidality #<- just in case.#anyway. i love yall. be careful with yrselves #and if you see bullshit like this please take it down. its trying to funnel people into disgusting right-wing rabbitholes. its dangerous.#bee speaks

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freesomebodybyluna · 2 years

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....

#had such a fun but also very fucked up night.......#got to the venue on time & ended up making friends w 2 vip girls that were also there solo #and they were just such angels to me the whole night i hope we do get to see e/o again one day #but anyways OF COURSE i start feeling sick after having a great time seeing los d*inos & the other opening act #i spent the majority of the bad s*ns set crouched & leaning on the barricade for support #bc idk how to explain what i felt but i was super light headed & could barely stand up for more than a few seconds to the pt #where i felt like i was seriously going to faint & i started my period that morning so of course my cramps decided to start right then #and there #and like a 3rd of the way through their set i finally made the decision to rest in the restroom for a bit & then get water plus a reeces #and i ended up watching the rest of the show from the back bc i didnt want to have to maneuver through the crowd #to get back to our spot & i didnt want to start feeling sick again #and i was soooo heartbroken bc my phone died right when I was recording salt #and as it was i barely got to enjoy any of the set list #and thanks to my phone dying one of the girls who i met had to wait for my phone to charge a bit in her car so i could get #the address of where im staying & for some reason it just wouldnt charge so that took a while #and when we finally got here my stupid ass didnt ask her to wait a bit more so i could try to turn it on again to get the code #so....my ass was unable to get in & i walked to a nearby mini mart that was closed & ask 2 strangers if they had a charging cube thingy #i could use & when none of that worked i fought for my life to enter any combo of numbers that may work #absolutely scared that something was going to happen to me w my pepper spray clutched in my hand #and finally after 2 hrs of doing that my host opened the door i guess he didnt hear me knocking & whatnot......for 2 hours🧍‍♂️#anyways x10 thats over thank god & im gonna catch the bus home in a few hours #also ordered a portable charger that does work & isnt a hand me down from my mom.......#but i dont think ill be doing this again until i can drive and get home w/o having to stay somewhere like this again #dl

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guidingsbolt · 2 years

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have not stopped thinking about the quinn conversation.

#full post in the works but i'm being soooooo normal. have only read nicki's transcript like. 15 times :)#i just. sisters.......... there were so many moments in there that really felt like. yeah these two are sisters 🥺#and how quinn has had to take on a role of thinking of and taking care of their parents....#the 'we had a funeral for you' line REALLY got me but what *really* *really* got me was the 'you haven't seen what mom's been like #for the last five years' line. headinhands.#and will HASN'T she's been basically outright avoiding it frankly. and quinn has had to shoulder that :(#i really. they're both the Older Sister in some ways now. i like (headinhands) to think she and will have the same scar now 🚪#i'm really glad they got to hug... there's a lot more i wanted to say looking back on it but. i really like how that scene went regardless #and there's still time.#the phone calls in particular were. man holy shit. and will just not saying *anything* because she can't.#she knows it'd be infinitely worse if she talked to her parents on the phone or if they SHOWED UP and she *died* one day later trying #to kill beowulf #so it hurts and it sucks but she's feeling this mixture of shame and anxiety and knows that waiting is the best option in the long run #but when they mentioned her on the phone with quinn because they're worried about her... god.#and she's gonna have to have such an insane (honorific) (upsetting) conversation about staying in winchester when she DOES talk to them #i'm having the time of my life but also oh my god you know?#will can't go home! she can't go home because it won't ever Be home in the way that it was and she knows that #but quinn doesn't :(#it's not like she'll never talk to quinn again after but. man!!!!#okay this ended up being a full post #i'm really really excited for the next session i'm manifesting so hard will gets to kill beowulf #and comes home covered in blood but she feels lighter! one less burden to worry about!#anyway. i love this game.#ch: will

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