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strawbxrryneptune · 3 years

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Level Two

Word count: 2.6K

Cw: pussyjob, exhibitionism, slight voyeurism, oral (fem!receiving), infidelity if you squint, unedited.

This fic and the fics following will contain monster fucking, cucking and threesomes!! If you are not comfortable, try out some of my other works, and Miggi's creations, but if you wish to proceed, remember, sharing is caring.

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@miggiisdumb

From a young age you were taught to keep your emotions in check. Queens must never show weakness to enemies. Crying and screaming were to be left in private, so that you came off as cool and collected. The Mushroom kingdom needs someone level-headed. They need someone they know won't act rashly.

You came to a conclusion that you were the one they needed, the Queen that could handle herself in any situation. You could get a husband, rule a kingdom, maybe even raise some spawns of yourself. You were convinced you had the bag, but now, sitting on a boulder at the falls and watching two sweaty, bulky men wrestle and growl at each other, you weren't so sure.

You had been trying to keep your emotions in check the whole week. Kirishima was constantly inviting you to hang with him and Bakugou, and you didn't know how much you could take. Kirishima's kisses had you on fire,, his big hands grabbing at your ass and tongue sliding against yours, but Bakugou's heated stares and occasional touches had your head spinning in confusion and arousal. He had a weird thing for grabbing and kneading at your hips, and it was starting to get to you.

Kirishima had invited you to join him and Bakugou in a swim at the falls, the water there crisp and beautiful, said to bring years of youth to whoever was worthy. Of course, you agreed. Any princess would jump at the opportunity to swim in a magic body of water with her suitor and his dreamy friend. Kirishima had shown up in blue swim trunks, an extra change of clothes cradled in his strong arms and some sandwiches to munch on later. Bakugou wore a black loin cloth, bigger and a little longer than the one he usually wore. His choker and bracelets were laid out in the grass next to Kirishima's clothes and the food, but he didn't look any less intimidating. If anything, he looked even scarier, hair drenched and falling down around his eyes, glowing red as he growls and bares his fangs, pouncing on Kiri and snarling out threats.

"M'gonna destroy you, Red."

"You have to catch me first, Bro!"

Kirishima dives under the water, Bakugou following shortly after, and you chuckle to yourself.

Soon, though, you start to get worried, cause it's been almost 2 minutes and they haven't come back up.

Calling their names, you shrug your cover up off and get in the water, shivering slightly at the chill. As you get deeper and deeper, water up to your chest, you start to panic.

"Kiri? Bakugou? If this is a joke it's not-ah-!"

You scream in surprise and slight fear as you're suddenly lifted onto a broad, scarred chest. Your thighs are on either side of it, and tense up when you feel the vibrations of a deep, raspy chuckle, and you fight the urge to thread your shaky fingers in ash blonde hair.

"Bakugou, put me down."

You try to keep your voice leveled but he picks up on the tremble, big, warm hands reaching up to grab at the fat of your hips, lifting you up further onto his chest.

"That wouldn't be fun now would it Princess?"

You gasp, glancing down at how your cunt is inches away from his mouth, drool spilling around the corners as he struggles to keep his eyes on yours.

“Seriously, y-you gotta…” your voice wavers as you meekly push at his drenched hair, momentarily losing your train of thought when he’s tongue lolls out, sticky with saliva and long. “What if Kiri sees us?”

“If ya keep quiet, he won’t.” The fleeting look of hunger and a nip on your thigh is all the warning you get.

Bakugou guns for your cunt before you can answer and you act like he shocked you by the way you lurch forward, jaw slanted, clinging to his curved horns, entire body shivering from the firm laps on your mound. Even with the bottom half of the swimsuit on, you could still feel every lick in pin point detail, every nudge of his hot muscles between your folds, just barely pressing into your hole and tongue flicking over your clit. Bakugou can feel it too- the way you're throbbing on his tongue, can even taste the mix of his drool and your arousal seeping through quicker then he was lapping. It drove him wild.

He groans, eyes a little crossed to watch his handy work, hoists you higher and shakes his head further between your legs and your eyes roll back when he starts sucking on your entire pussy. Too hard for you to keep quiet. Too hard for the slurps not to sound exactly like what it looks like.

“B-Bakugou, it’s too much!” You pant, quick and shallow, yet use your weak grip on his horns to hump his face desperately. “I think I’m g-gonna… gonna…!”

He growls, literally growls like the beast he is, and you almost do cum just by his fiery look up at you with a mouthful of your twitching cunny, unlatching with a wet pop that has sticky strings of your slick smacking on his chin.

“Take it off.” He demands, words coming out muffled because he’s already back on your cunt. “Wanna taste you cummin’ in my mouth. C’mon, Princess. Lemme drink you up, baby.”

A shaky hand slips between the two of you, pulling your bathing suit to the side, and the next moment you’re squealing to the heavens above when Bakugou curled his tongue into you, spreading your walls apart on his tongue. His eyes flickered closed with a deep moan at the sensation of you spasming around him, juices nearly flooded into his mouth, but he gulps it down greedily, Adam’s apple bobbing and cheeks hollowing.

You have no idea how long you stayed arched in his mouth riding out your orgasm, unable to tell if you were seeing clouds or if your vision really went that blurry. For one last time, Bakugou shook his head on your cunt and pulled back with a “puah!”, hot huffs of his breaths panting on your drenched up sex. God, you tasted better than you smelled. Bakugou would live between your thighs if he could, make you moan and squeal like you did, make you flush and look completely fucked out, so pretty as you stare down at him with lidded, hazy eyes, plump lips parted to catch your breath, gentle fingers raking his hair and the base of his horns that sent shivers down his spine.

He’d have you forever if he could. If only you weren’t promised to-

“Bakugou, you drowned or something? Where are you, man?” Kirishima’s voice comes from behind some boulders a small distance away from where the two of you are and your heart skyrockets to your throat, the sudden tightness in your gut clenching all of you up in dread. Bakugou on the other hand just slid you down into the water, trying to keep any splashing sounds to a minimum, though both of you had to swallow back a sound when you brushed over his bulge on the way down.

Bakugou swims by you in time to Kiri finally rounding the rocks, brows creased and a little pout on his lips, and you relaxed a bit when you realized he was upset over swimming alone all this time. His eyes flick from Bakugou to you, pout disappearing as he perked up a bit in surprise.

“(Y/N), when did you get into the water?”

You open your mouth but don't get a word out. “Came in lookin’ f’us.” Bakugou says nonchalantly, glances over his shoulder to you and you don’t miss the heat of his stare bouncing up your form for a hot second. “Clearly worried over nothin’.”

Oh, this bastard…

Kirishima hums as he swims your way, gives you his million dollar sweet smile with a gentle cup of your cheeks. “Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to make you worry.”

Your bottom lip puckers in a pout even though you’re already long since mad, specially with his thumb brushing drawing circles on your cheek. “Just warm me next time. Thought you idiots drowned yourselves…”

“Sorry sorry.” He laughs and pecks you a few times all over your face, until he’s kissing you on the lips, a kiss that goes on longer than expected as he slots his mouth with yours and moves his lips with passion and adoration. Your mind gets fuzzy, consumed by Kiri’s kiss and body still reeling from your moment with Bakugou, your thighs clenching underwater because your insides craved for more.

When Kirishima pulls away, you catch a fleeting glance over to Bakugou, a heavy and solemn look on his face, conflict in his eyes before he turns away too late once he caught you staring and it all comes rushing down on you- the clear weight of guilt on your shoulders. The worst part is that you don’t know what it’s aimed at- for going behind Kirishima’s back like this? Or for making Bakugou see you with someone else while he gets scraps of affection?

You tell Kirishima that you’re alright when he asks if something is wrong, then go back to growing when he turns to resume wrestling his friend.

Way to keep your emotions in check, huh?

The rest of the morning goes by fast, the guys wolfing down their sandwiches and still being hungry, Kirishima offering to run into town quickly and grab some more food.

You agree, standing up to go with him but being surprised when he pushes you back down, a look you can't place in his eyes as his own flicker to Bakugou, who's uprooting weeds next to you.

"Stay here, 'kay?"

You nod, dazed, and watch him disappear into the bushes, stealing a glance to Bakugou.

"Bakugou…"

"M'sorry."

You tilt your head at him, but he won't meet your eyes, a scowl on his face as heat creeps up his neck.

"I said I'm fuckin' sorrry. I went too far. You belong to Kiri, it's not m'place to-mmpf!"

You cut him off with a searing kiss, sliding yourself in his lap and grabbing his hair, making him stutter out a moan into your mouth, big hands gripping your hips and lifting you onto his abs, grinding you against him.

You furrow your brows, the feeling of his abs rubbing against your puffy clit feels heavenly but you wanna touch him. You felt him when you were in the water earlier, throbbing and pulsing against you. You wanted him in your mouth.

He snarls against you, demanding attention back on him as he nips at your bottom lip before sliding his tongue against yours, panting heavily as his hands flex against your hips. You try to slide down a little more, moving your hands to rest on his meaty pecs and getting distracted by his puffy nipples.

They were so plump and flushed, they looked so sensitive it probably fucking hurt. You pull away from his mouth with a whine, trying not to smile when he chases your lips.

"You sure about this, Princess? If Kiri finds out he'll be-fuck, baby, Whaddya'doin?"

You don't answer, just give him a look under your lashes as you suckle on his nipple, eyes closing in bliss as the smell of him envelops you, fresh and crisp from the water but still musky and smoky.

You scrape your teeth against him gently, then lick over the reddened area and moan as you suck once again.

You notice he had gone almost deathly still, and you look up at him only to almost cream yourself at the sight.

His eyes were rolled back in his head, fist in his mouth and drool spilling around the corners, dribbling down his flushed face and neck. He was trying so hard not to moan, cause he knew if he made a sound it would be loud enough for the whole Mushroom kingdom to hear.

He fucking loved getting his nipples played with, but virtually no one knew and he tried to play it off but fuck, you had him melting.

"Yhew don' like it?"

Your words are muffled around his tit, saliva slowly trailing down his chest and forming a puddle in the divets of his abs.

"I-fuck, cut it out brat."

He tries to sound authoritative, but his voice is whiny, and you can already feel the bruises he's pressing into your hips. You hum, leaning back to look at his flushed chest, earning yourself a sigh of relief-quickly turning into a choked whimper when you switch to the other nipple, using one of your hands to tweak and pinch one while the other hand threads into his hair, grazing the sensitive base of his horns and knocking his eyes back, mouth dropping open and hands coming up to silence himself, allowing you to try and shimmy your way down onto his lap.

His unoccupied hand grips your hip even tighter, trying to keep you up and away from his cock.

"Bakugou-! Wan' yer cock"

You slur, grinding your hips onto his stomach, covered clit rubbing against his bushy pubes.

"You couldn't handle it sweetheart. We shouldn't even be doing this."

You roll your eyes, popping off his nipple and withdrawing your hands from him, reaching down to pry his hand off of your hip.

"Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot handle? You don't know what-oh."

You're cut off when he drops you down, cock sliding through your folds even over the bathing suit, so big and veiny you could feel every pulse and twitch through your bottoms.

You immediately push your swimsuit to the side, rubbing your slit up and down his dick, clit getting caught on various ridges and occasionally twitching when a throbbing vein rubbed against it. You couldn't keep your sounds down even if you wanted to, leaning forward to moan into Bakugou's ear, feeling a shudder rip through his spine.

You were making his mind foggy, he couldn't stop his hips from rutting up, knot starting to swell even though he tried to hold it back. He couldn't do this right now, even getting this far dangerous, he was way too close to his rut and couldn't risk getting you pregnant, no matter how much that thought made his head spin. Fuck, he couldn't stop thinking of you slamming those perfect fucking hips down onto his knot as you begged him to give you his kids, pleaded with him to make you a mommy-shit

His head falls forward and sharp teeth dig into your shoulder, a snarl vibrating your body before your thighs, pussy and stomach are drenched with thick cum. He can't stop, hips jerking and thighs shaking as he roars into your skin, knot still swollen and sensitive but the burning need inside of him is satiated for now.

Before he can even lift his head up to say something, he catches a whiff of arousal, and strangely enough it isn't yours. It smells more woodsy, intense with a sweet musk, somewhat...manly?

Oh fuck.

Kirishima.

Bakugou scrambles to get up, looking at you in horror and then looking over to the trees, catching a glimpse of dark red eyes before they disappear behind a nearby tree.

"Clean yourself off in the water, Kiri will be back soon."

You stare dreamily up at him, confused as to why he looks so uneasy all of a sudden but obeying nonetheless, standing on wobbly legs and feeling dense and gooey cum drip down your legs in long streaks, a nagging feeling in the back of your fuzzy mind telling you how much of a waste it was that none of it was inside you. You make your way back to the water, unaware of two sets of red locked onto you.

#bakugo smut #bakugou katsuki smut #bakugou smut #katsuki bakugou smut #bakugou thirst #kirishima eijirou smut #bakugou x reader #bowser!bakugou #mario!kirishima #kirishima thirst #kirishima smut #kiribaku x reader #kiribaku smut #neptunewrites🪐#galacticcollabs #prettymiggi🪐

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sm-entertain-me · 5 years

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Enjoy the View (M)

Requested by @jikookaestheticvmin95: Can i get a reaction where one of the members walk in on me and another member....y'know 😏 and then tell the others members all about it... I have problems, lmao. Xoxo, totally understand if you can't do it. (Jeongguk subject)

Contains: Jeon Jeongguk x (f) reader, smut, adult language, dry humping? (to get them in the mood, don’t judge me), descriptions of sex, unprotected sex, slight exhibitionism

Synopsis: Apparently nobody in the dorm knows how to knock anymore...

After the movie date you and Jeongguk had, Jeongguk decided it would be nice to go home and relax for a little. But you knew him better than that. Any time he wanted to go home after spending the day with you, he would almost always convince you to have sex with him at the dorm regardless of who was home. Not like it mattered to you anyway, you always enjoyed the way Jeongguk would treat you in the bedroom; neck kisses, thigh gripping, grinding, writhing bodies on top of each other, spanking... All of it was nice. And the members did respect your guy’s privacy as they are well aware that Jeongguk is growing up now and has a serious girlfriend. All they really ask of you two is to keep your moans and other lewd sounds to a minimum. Not much, right?

“Jeonggukkie,” You called after him as you found yourself sitting on the edge of his bed, watching the way he entered the room and closed the door behind him with a devilish grin. His hands gripped at the bottom of his black sweatshirt and removed it quickly, you biting your lip from the sight of his sculpted body springing free. You licked your lips at the sight, feeling your whole body beginning to heat up from the raw lust you had for him and only him. Jeongguk smirked as he stood in front of you, pushing on your chest lightly to have you lay down on the bed as he hovered on top of you, “Goddamn you look so good underneath me.” “Really?” You asked as you gave him a small peck on the lips, wrapping your legs around his torso as you moved in such a way to have Jeongguk pinned underneath you instead of the other way around. “Because I think I look better on top.” Jeongguk wasn’t one to argue with your perky breasts being at eye level with him, showing his approval of your change in position by grabbing on the buttons of your button down and ripping your blouse open to reveal your supple breasts accentuated by the black lace bra that barely covered you. The blouse wasn’t that expensive anyway.

As you sat on top of his waist, you rested your hands on his broad shoulders while Jeongguk pulled you closer to him, not allowing any kind of space between your hot bodies as he ravaged the tender skin of your neck. Running his slick tongue over a sensitive part of your neck, you bucked into his groin area instinctively to signal he found your favorite spot. Jeongguk moaned lightly against your neck as he left small love bites, assuring the vibrations on your neck would trail down into your already dampening pussy. Whimpers escaped your lips as you pressed your torso against his well built chest, moving your hips in a circular motion when you felt the tip of his cock bulge against you. “Fucking hell,” Jeongguk moaned again, biting down lightly on your collar bone as his hands gripped at the flesh of your ass to bring you closer. His hands took control of your movements, pulling your hips back and slamming you forward at a pace that you both liked. The way he was having you move against his pelvis was driving you insane as you threw your head back, feeling your eyes beginning to roll back as you pleaded with him, “Jeongguk please fuck me. I’m going to cum just like this.” You felt the pace of his hands pulling you back and forth by your hips slow down, him taking his finger and placing it under your chin so you could see the cocky smirk on his face, “All you had to do was ask, jagiya.”

It didn’t take long for each of your clothes to come off, Jeongguk having a habit of ripping clothes off at such a fast pace that you were sure he could rip the already thick fabric of your denim shorts. As you two were kissing passionately, Jeongguk’s hands wrapped tightly around your body while yours were tangled in his soft brown locks, you felt one of Jeongguk’s hands slip from the back of your ass. Jeongguk’s hand slipped in between your legs quickly, his fingers pressing past your eager walls as he dove right in. “Ahh, Jeongguk,” You cried out as you felt Jeongguk slip two fingers into you without resistance, his fingers curling up and sliding generously against your dripping walls. Jeongguk smirked against your lips, pushing his fingers deeper inside of you to feel the way your walls clenched around his digits tightly, continuing to edge you on until you bucked your hips violently against his hand. He knew that you were already so close to cumming, and he didn’t want you to feel bad for cumming before him since he usually takes a while, so he pulled his fingers out of you much to his dismay. At this point you were already panting against his chest, relishing in the feeling your pussy gave as it throbbed uncontrollably. Jeongguk admired your reddened face with his bunny smile, taking this moment to turn all cutesy for you. But now is not the time for that, and you showed him by pushing on his chest lightly, glaring down at him as you leaned forward to line yourself up with his impressive length, “My turn.”

The harshness at which you came down on his cock was something that could only be described as animalistic, making sure your pussy would envelop every single inch of him as he groaned underneath you. Jeongguk loved it when you rode him because he loved seeing you in complete control, enjoying every moment of seeing that extremely sexy look of concentration as you bounced on his cock. “Mmm, Y/N. You’re doing so good, you feel so good around my cock,” Jeongguk whispered breathlessly underneath you as you rested your hands on his chest, leaning forward slightly at an angle that drove you crazy. The way his cock pierced your slick walls was the most pleasurable thing you’ve felt as his cock could also provide the necessary friction to your bundle of nerves, aching desperately for some kind of attention. As you quickened your already brutal pace on Jeongguk, you felt him writing underneath you, feeling the way his thighs tightened to indicate he was trying his best to wait for you to cum before he did. You could already feel the tip of his cock twitching wildly inside of you, trying your best to bring yourself to your edge so he could bring himself to his. You were so close as you could feel the coil holding you back begin to snap, rocking your hips against Jeongguk violently to get the blissful friction against your now swollen clit... Until you heard a groan that didn’t belong to Jeongguk.

As you were riding Jeongguk into oblivion, eyes screwed tightly with him biting down on the flesh of your shoulder to stifle his moans, a groan came from the bedroom door. You opened your eyes in shock as you followed the noise, seeing Taehyung standing there with his eyes wide in shock. Jeongguk was too invested in his own euphoria to hear Tae making his presence known, taking matters into his own hands by bucking himself into you from below when he noticed you had slowed down. “Oh my god, Tae!” You screeched out as you scrambled on Jeongguk’s lap to find something to cover up your modesty while also trying to slide off of Jeongguk, but it was kind of hard with the death grip he had on your hips to keep you in place. When Jeongguk heard a name that wasn’t his fall from your lips, he opened his eyes with a cocked eyebrow until he saw his band member standing in the doorway with his mouth wide open. “Fuck’s sake Tae, do you know how to knock?” Jeongguk yelled as he lifted you off of his lap so that you could cover yourself up with the bundle of sheets at the base of the bed, him scurrying to do the same thing even though Tae has seen him naked plenty of times from their trainee days. Tae was absolutely flabbergasted at the scene in front of him, his eyes flicking from you moving uncomfortably underneath the sheets, and then back at Jeongguk as he swallowed hard, “I just... Jin-hyung told me to tell you dinner is ready if you want some.” Jeongguk pressed his finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose, sighing at his interruption when he was so close to cumming, “Yeah, fine. We’ll be out soon.”

“Guys!” Taehyung’s voice rang out as he ran down the hallway to join his hyungs as they were setting the table for one of Jin’s lavish weekly meals. Jimin looked up from his phone, cocking an eyebrow as to why he ran so fast from Jeongguk’s room, “What, Taehyung-ah?” Taehyung had to double over, hands resting on his knees as he caught his breath. Everyone else was either too busy cooking the meal, washing the dishes that got dirty during the meal preparation, or setting the table to really pay attention fully, so Taehyung had to settle with telling Jimin. “I just walked in on Jeongguk and Y/N fucking. It was honestly the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” Taehyung said as he finally gained his composure, standing up fully and making his way to sit next to Jimin on the couch. Jimin raised an eyebrow at Taehyung yet again, silently asking what he meant by his comment. “I’m talking Y/N on top, riding Jeongguk. The way she moved those hips... It was like watching the best porn out there,” Taehyung said, closing his eyes to recall all of the details of what he saw, licking his lips at the thought of you bouncing on Jeongguk’s cock as if it were his cock that you were riding. Upon relaying all the sultry details, Taehyung noticed he gained a couple more audience members with Namjoon and Yoongi coming over to hear all about this little story. None of the guys had ever seen you and Jeongguk fucking, hell, most of the time they couldn’t even hear you. But since none of the guys had been getting any lately except for Jeongguk, they were all ears when it came to detailed descriptions of what went on behind closed doors.

It’s no secret that you are a beautiful girl with assets Kim Kardashian herself would be jealous of, so the guys are always eager to imagine you or get the lucky chance to see you that way. Once Yoongi had walked in on you in the shower, but he hadn’t seen enough of you to be satisfied. And if he had seen anymore of you, Jeongguk would surely knock him out. “Okay, was she moaning a lot?” Yoongi questioned, sitting casually on the couch with his full attention on Taehyung’s story. Taehyung smirked to himself as he pictured the way your lips parted to let out small moans that were clearly held back so not as to disturb the guys, “Yes she was. Jeongguk really knows how to take care of his woman.” “Better than you can,” Hoseok chimed in as he had been helping Jin with the dishes, earning a few chuckles from each of the members. Taehyung rolled his eyes at Yoongi, resisting the urge to flip him off since he was his hyung after all, looking around the room to take any more questions. “Do you think she’s really tight?” Jimin asked, genuinely invested into the conversation at this point as the bulge in his pants began to grow just from imagining sinful things about you. Taehyung took a moment on this question, taking a finger and tapping his chin softly, “I think she would be. Jeongguk seemed pretty happy with how she was riding him, I can only imagine how tight she is.” As they were all thinking about you and your physical characteristics in regards to sex, there came a familiar voice that wasn’t originally part of the conversation to begin with, “Personally, she’s the tightest I’ve ever had.”

Everyone’s heads turned to see Jeongguk holding hands with you, moving you slowly so that you stood in front of him, his hands snaking around your waist to hold you in place. “Oh, uh, Jeongguk... We didn’t know you guys were done,” Namjoon said nervously as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with both you and Jeongguk. Normally if people found out that your good friends were talking about them and how tight they were when they rode their boyfriends, one would assume the subject of the conversation would get mad, right? Well, not you. You seemed pretty flattered as you smiled to all of them lightly, watching each of their expressions on their face, “You guys are really talking about what Tae saw in there?” You watched as each of the members in the rather inappropriate conversation hung their heads in shame, nodding at your question. Jeongguk bent around your frame to look you in the eye as you rested in his arms, chuckling as he gave you a quick peck on the lips, “Jagi, I just think they’re talking about us because they haven’t gotten laid in months. They need something to jerk off to every night, isn’t that right boys?” Nobody said a word, not really wanting to acknowledge that that was indeed the reason. You couldn’t help but to laugh at their emotionless expressions as you turned to Taehyung, the one who decided to blabber about the whole ordeal, “Hope you enjoyed the view while it lasted, because you’ll never see it again.”

#Jeon Jeongguk #Jeon Jeongguk Smut #Jeon Jeongguk fanfiction #Jungkook #Jeon Jungkook #Jungkook smut #Jungkook fanfiction #Jeon Jungkook smut #Jeon Jungkook fanfiction #Smut #Fanfiction #BTS #BTS smut #BTS fanfiction #Bangtan Sonyeondan #Kpop #Kpop fanfiction #Kpop Smut

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brushstrokesmcgee · 7 years

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Close Reading ‘The Path’ Season 1 Episode 1.

This is not really a recap. More of a series of observations regarding the storytelling, symbolism, and subliminal foreshadowing in The Path.

I’m not an academic and this may all be obvious stuff to you guys but the show made an impression on me for its use of visual symbolism. I thought I’d start at the beginning but I’ll be referencing future plot lines and episodes. There is a LOT of foreshadowing in this series, appropriate given that prophesy is a major theme and I will be talking about what is being foreshadowed. so if you haven’t watched both seasons you might want to stay away from spoilers.

For more erudite discussion of symbolism on the show please see the wonderful @theyellowsnake who says all perfectly.

So The First Episode of Season one of the The Path is pretty much the perfect Pilot. It sets the scene and leaves you hungry for more.

There is a little too much exposition in there . But it also, almost subliminally, tells you everything you need to know about… Well… Everything. Every twist, every character, every hidden agenda is right there in the pilot. If you’re looking closely enough.

SPOILERS from here on in folks. For both Season 1 and 2.

Intro Scene: Rindge Trailer Park.

The Trailer Park. Symbol of American poverty, destroyed by a literal act of God.

The ‘ Church of Faith’ sign, Church destroyed, useless and empty

The Schoolbus on its side destroyed.

Both Church and School as institutions have failed this society, a ruined society as symbolised by the trailer park. They are unable to offer sanctuary or comfort to these people. They have not been able to fulfil their purpose. IE. to prevent people from sliding to the bottom of the economic and spiritual ‘ladder’ in the first place.

A woman clutches her baby and literally cries “Somebody help me!” Into the chaos. “Oh God!”

We meet Mary. Crawling through the trash. She looks for water and finds antifreeze or similar poison. She tries to drink again from a pipe and someone stops her, that water is also poison.

Poisoned water is a huge part of the Book of Revelation in regard to the Apocolypse.

“ Revelation 8:11

The name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters turned bitter like wormwood oil, and many people died from the bitter waters.”

We hear the sound of Horns. Like the horns of angels at Armageddon. ( Also Revelation 8-11) It’s no wonder Mary later compares Cal to an angel.

Mary climbs the garbage heap. Metaphorically this is the start of he rise from the ashes of her old life. As well as an early climbing metaphor. She sees Cal from the top of the trash mountain. This is their first moment of connection. Even though he doesn’t see her. Something about him is compelling to her.

Here come the Meyerists into this apocalyptic scene. But to them it’s no metaphor. They believe the end times are really coming. The Tornado is, for them, a real harbinger of doom.

Its a curious thing that when institutions fail people. When the Law, Healthcare, Schools and Church fail to provide what they should. That is when religious cults step in to fill the gap. This is well illustrated here.

Mary gets what she needs the most at the at moment. Not water (she barely drinks it). She gets her salvation, her Angel. We don’t know yet that she’s been waiting for him since she was a little girl.

The Woman with the baby gets her prayer answered.

“What do you need’? Cal asks the shocky old man. He wants the picture of his wife- all he has left of her memory. Cal doesn’t try to get him to calm down. Or lead him away from the carnage like an EMT would. “Help this man find his wife!” He shouts, as though its the most important thing he can imagine. Because he knows in a spiritual sense , it really is. In that moment the old man needs that scrap of paper more than water or medical care.

The Meyerist eye is prominent. They “See” the people’s need. “Need” is often reference thought the series. “There is so much Need!” the characters say repeatedly. The Church, the School, the Hospitals, the Society itself have all metaphorically failed us.

We ( humans) are let down in a spiritual sense by religion that offers no real substance, physically by bad or absent food and medicine, mentally by a schooling system that doesn’t educate the whole person. The list goes on. The Meyerists think they are the answer to this very real need. In this way the show is quite a scathing social commentary.

As a viewer I’m subconsciously pumping my fist in the air saying “ Yay Cult!” Although I don’t even realise how I’m being manipulated yet.

Animated Credits Scene:

Four figures climb a mountain, presumably this is an interpretation of Meyerism’s origin myth and the figures are Steve, Silas, Felicia and Bill. With Steve reaching enlightenment at the summit of Huayna Picchu.

But there is an alternative interpretation:

Look at the placements of the credits:

The close up of the climbing figure’s hands as he struggles up the rocks in the rain remind you of anything? Mary’s climb up the garbage heap visually mirrors the climb in the intro.

Emma Greenwell - Mary’s real name.

This is not an easy climb. Its a struggle. The man makes it to the top, stands at the summit and raises his arms in victory. He made it.

Hugh Dancy Cal’s real name.

The figure could just as easily be Cal, who, like Mary ( except in a more metaphorical sense), has struggled to the ‘top of the heap’ through his own personal suffering and stands victorious. Having finally made it into a position of power. This is one of many themes that connect Mary and Cal. (More on that later.)

We see The Future : Tornado -Fire - Flood.

A Tornado ( the one that levels the trailer park.) Is the opening of Season 1.

There is a prominent flash of lightning. Which is perhaps a portent to the lighting that scars Eddie and kills Steve.

The Fire ( Richard’s self immolation and burning of records room) closes Season 2.

The Flood… Could be foreshadowing of season 3. It seems to wash away the structure of the burning building. Much like the water scandal coverup helped wash away Sarah’s trouble regarding the blackmail ( using tapes Richard set on fire in same building).

Or it could be a symbolic flood washing away the movement forever?

We see the barns, the compound growing in size and number.

A figure running in room - Eddie in the therapy room?

Snake wrapped around Steve’s corpse. Open to interpretation as the Yellow snake symbolises psychic ability as well as betrayal in folklore. It also symbolises Cal at various points in the tale. (Hugh Dancy even starts to look snakelike toward the end of season 2.) A lot has been said on this elsewhere. It is perhaps not an accident that is portrayed wrapped so closely around Steve. Snakes are rarely positive symbols to a western audience. In a religious context we are reminded of the serpent in Eden. ( More on that later too.)

Speaking of Eden. Heres Adam and Eve. Or Eddie and Sarah or whichever archetype you choose. Accompanied by the name of the literal creator God of this particular universe: Jessica Goldberg. have I mentioned that I love symbolism?

Scene: Dinner at The Lanes:

Lane means Path… Glad thats out of the way. Now on to saying grace.

“Thank you for this gift of bread to sustain these vessels, our bodies, so that we may have the energy to create a more beautiful world and break through our blocks and barriers in this life and ascend the ladder of enlightenment so that someday we may be free of these earthly forms and live as light together in the garden. We express deepest gratitude for this day, and every day, for the gift of this passage, and that we found the ladder. There is one spirit whose name is Truth.”

So this sums up their whole belief system in a few seconds and its great because the show doesn’t hammer you over the head with the basic tennants every five minutes after that. they just assume you get it. It also has beauty and a sinister undertone, lets never forget that they’re a doomsday Cult.

But lets look closer:

“Give us this day our daily bread” says the Lords Prayer. The daily bread is just what sustains us for this day. Its the bare minimum of care, which so many people don’t get.

And whom we see in this comfortable scene, the Lanes have a comfortable life, if not extravagant. They have what they need. Their needs are met.

Have you guys heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? it’s a motivational theory in psychology comprising a five tier model of human needs often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid… Sound familiar?

Someone Like Mary doesn’t even have the lowest level of needs met. She couldn’t even get clean water. Her basic safely was compromised and she was terribly abused by the people who should have loved her.

Sarah has her Psysiological, Safely and Love/Belonging needs met. It’s debatable if at this point in the series she has fully achieved the Esteem level but she’s well on her way there being an 8R and well respected within the community. It’s the last level. Self- Actualisation, which is problematic for her (and all the characters). Because its the level no Cult can allow its members to reach. Particularly that pesky ‘ Acceptance of Facts’ one.

Eddie, upon his return from Peru is struggling with this level. With his own Self-Actualisation. He knows his Esteem needs are at odds with the truth. And while he lives a ‘Life of Lies’ he isn’t getting his needs met. He NEEDS to live an authentic life. Its the only thing he can do. His ‘path’ leads toward truth one way or another. Hence the great irony of the Meyerist creed: “There is one spirit whose name is Truth.” … That, at least, is a lie. The Truth in this series is multifaceted and subjective.

Cal pretends to be at the top ( of The Ladder and The Pyramid.) But he ascended in a dishonest way. Though nepotism, prostitution and maybe blackmail.

So while he struggles with morality, problem solving and the sad acceptance of facts he is also struggling with the Esteem level. He so desperately wants to be respected and he has no real confidence ( see his self help tapes for evidence.) And while he struggles with that he is also struggling with the Love/Belonging level. Because the one thing he really can’t have is intimacy. For reasons that later become clear. He is a lonely person. he has no real friends , no family and no sexual intimacy, ( he’s either a virgin or celibate when we meet him.) His image is one of a Self- Actualised leader. But he is living a lie. In truth he’s still a child desperate for safety.

In fact I speculate that the truth of the matter is that each Meyerist convert entered the Movement while struggling with Need. I think that If they left the movement they would revert back to the same point they entered it. Because the movement provides for them ( or should) but it doesn’t give them Self- Actualisation, which is what they need in order to be independent and masters of their own fate.

So we have the usual Exposotional Dinner Talk. we learn that Eddies just back from Peru. Cal is coming, Steve is writing and Russell is a useless asshole. Also that for a person to ascend the latter all the way they probably shouldn’t get married. Hawk isn’t old enough to start the Ladder yet and everyone feels bad about the tornado.

We like these guys, weird Peruvian drug trip religion aside they seem like our kind of people. (Except Joy though , she’s goddam annoying.) We find ourselves identifying with and liking members of a closed religious cult. This is quite an achievement for the writers.

Sex Scene 1:

Until the slip scene. because no one in history, male or female has ever been aroused by a slip.

The sex though. is it necessary? Not really… But yes really. Much like in real life, the way people fuck on this show tells us a lot about their emotional state. Its code for all the things they can’t say. If that happens to line up nicely with a networks desire for lots of sex on their show then… Cool I guess. Also. the eye is front and centre because Meyerism is at the centre of their personal life in an uncomfortably voyeristic way. No one has privacy in this place. Not really. There is a disturbing disrespect for boundaries within the extended Lane family and within Meyerism in general. and maybe cults in general too.

Eddie and Sarah are emotional sex havers. They laugh, they cry, they make eye contact. The whole things very uncomfortable for the viewer who may be watching with their parents, but very intimate. Contrast and compare:

Scene: Cal’s return:

Cal. The no sex haver who reunites with old flame Sarah. He pretends to be over it. He isn’t. She broke his heart by leaving him for Eddie when they were young. How young? We never know, Eddie and Sarah were likely in their mid- late teens when they Met. We don’t know how long Sarah and Cal were together or when they met.

Can we assume that they grew up on the compound together? I think so. Cal mentions to his mother on Episode 3 that, while they used to live in tents, they now have a campus. So he probably grew up there with Sarah, Russell and Tessa. But he’s been in California for three years happily avoiding the East Coast winters. ( he doesn’t like the cold because his drunken sot of a father did, in fact, keep him in a tent in the middle of winter.) Its perhaps worth noting here that he is returning to his childhood home. This is important because its where his neurosis re- surfaces. Its where his pain lives.

Anyway he meets Sarah, knows her well enough to see something wrong and immediately twists it to his advantage. Its the first, rather obvious , look at his manipulative personality. But he’s sincere when he says its good to see her. And that he’s going to “come stalk you , like old times.” He probably did too. hanging out with Eddie and Sarah to be close to her, or maybe to them both, for friendship but certainly with an agenda of infiltrating their relationship. Which is probably why Eddie doesn’t trust him. We don’t either. Because he’s always acting. Pretending to be someone he’s not ( Self- Actualised leader of men. ) We only rarely see glimpses of the real man beneath.

School: Hawk and Eddie scene.

No Symbolism here but I love the relationship between these two. Hawk is annoying in the way teenagers actually are annoying not in the way precocious “ Talk like adults with philosophy degrees” teenagers on TV usually are. Both he and Summer are excellently written in this respect. Eddie is a real dad, not a perfect dad. Just a guy who enjoys time with his kids. Hawk hates school. Didn’t we all?

Scene: Mary Sees Cal again/Conversation with Eddie:

So like so many scenes on this show , what appears to be a throwaway moment of filler is actually telling us something. While the music and stylised camera work distracts us from the dialogue between Cal and Eddie this is what they’re saying (according to the closed captions.)

Cal: “Hey, man, I’ll come join you later. Sit in on your testimonial.”

Eddie: “Oh, no. You don’t have to do that. Same old story. You’ve heard it a million times.”

Cal: “Are you kidding? I love your story.

Gets me fired up every time.”

Cal wants to sit in on Eddie’s testimonial, despite the fact that he’s heard it many times and its depressing as holy hell. Eddie would rather he didn’t. Why?

Skip ahead to Eddie telling his story. Interesting, isn’t it that we barely learn anything about Eddie’s life before Meyerism? So lets look at the facts. What do we know about Eddie Lane at this point?

He had an unhappy home life. We know this because he lived with his older brother instead of his parents ( The original script had a line about his mother being mentally ill which they later edited out, because I believe it would have made future twists too obvious. The subtext is still there.)

He loved his brother. His brother killed himself. Eddie Has. Not. Dealt. With. It. This is so clear. His own dialogue tells us this. He ran. Ran from the situation and straight into a cult.

He starts telling his story. His relationship with his brother was “the one thing he had.” And when he lost it he lost part of himself. He breaks down, he can’t finish the story. Meyerism didn’t heal this particular pain. Cal to the rescue!

“ Oh yeah and then you found us and it was all cool right?” He essentially says.

So Cal does probably step in here to help Eddie. But at the same time theres something censorious about it. He is clearly steering the story in a different direction than it was going? Something is missing from Eddies narrative. Perhaps the fact that he is still suffering, that despite the ladder, his brother’s death is still an open wound for him. ( This kind of adds a layer of creepy to Cal’s assertion that he “Loves him like a brother” Later on.) Also…What happened between ‘Discovered Johnny’s dead body’ and ‘ Ended up in a bookshop’?

Something smells fishy. But we are told enough to piece a few things together. There was some mental illness in his family, he doesn’t want to look too deeply at his past. He had a lot of anger. (When he arrived he was murderously angry. (We learn this later from Sarah.) That’s not what he looks like now though. Not at all. Meyerism’s victory or his own? Was Sarah his saving grace?

In a way Eddie is the biggest enigma on the show. Maybe even moreso than Steve.

Which brings us to…

Scene: Sarah talks about Steve.

And the fact that she thinks the light shines out of his ass. Literally.

So this is our first proper introduction to Steve:

We are told that he lives so deeply in truth that he is one with the Light. His followers believe him to be an ascended master of sorts and therefore an immortal spiritual being rather than just a man. and once again and one of many times… There is a dichotomy between what we are being told and what we are seeing. The sound and the visuals are often at odds on this show.

Because hanging behind her on the wall is a picture of a dude. A dude named Steve. and he’s handsome, charismatic looking I guess but just as prosaic as his name ( Which incidentally means’ Light Bringer’ in Hebrew.) . (He also has that same high collar, uptight shirt thing going on as Cal does.) This is one of may times that the placement of the Steve photo is telling us something.

Later Eddie reads to Summer from the junior edition of The Ladder. Whilst having a very confusing existential crisis.

And we learn about Steve’s past. What do we know about Steve?

He was a military doctor, who did terrible things to soldiers at a hospital. Had a crisis of confidence, lost his shit and took a very long walk… Also I dare anyone to say that isn’t Kodiak in the illustration.

Sooo… What do you guys know about Project MK Ultra?

From Wikipedia:

“Project MKUltra – sometimes referred to as the CIA’s mind control program – is the code name given to a program of experiments on human subjects, at times illegal, designed and undertaken by the United States Central Intelligence Agency.[1] Experiments on humans were intended to identify and develop drugs and procedures to be used in interrogations and torture, in order to weaken the individual to force confessions through mind control. Organized through the Scientific Intelligence Division of the CIA, the project coordinated with the Special Operations Division of the U.S. Army’s Chemical Corps.[2]

The operation began in the early 1950s, was officially sanctioned in 1953, was reduced in scope in 1964, further curtailed in 1967, and officially halted in 1973.[3] The program engaged in many illegal activities,[4][5][6] including the use of unwitting U.S. and Canadian citizens as its test subjects, which led to controversy regarding its legitimacy.[4](p74)[7][8][9] MKUltra used numerous methodologies to manipulate people’s mental states and alter brain functions, including the surreptitious administration of drugs (especially LSD) and other chemicals, hypnosis,[citation needed]sensory deprivation, isolation and verbal abuse, as well as other forms of psychological torture.”

Read more here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_MKUltra

Lovely.

So… You guys Steve was totally one of those mad scientists. Who tortured Vietnam soldiers to try an achieve mind control with drugs ( and also sarin gas and other agonizing tortures. This isn’t a bit of weed and a walk in the woods. These people were psychopaths of the highest order.)

Lets me just repeat that… To achieve mind control… With Drugs. Does this throw up any red flags for anyone else?

What else do we know about Steve? I mean FOR SURE He went to Peru and started a cult. Which used Ayahuasca and other drugs to induce hallucinatory states.

Manipulation into shared delusions? Maybe. Theres no doubt Felicia believes she burned her hands on a Burning Ladder of Truth. But her husband Bill reminds her that there was a bonfire… And that they were ‘Really High.” He wouldn’t have had to convince many people, just a handful, to engender belief in many.

Ok so lets give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he did have an ethical crisis while working for the CIA… He still used drugs on people… Afterwards.

And then theres the trope of the Morally questionable doctor who runs to South America. Don’t tell me we’re not supposed to get slightly Megele-ish vibes from this guy.

Then we cut from Eddies Life of Lies directly to Cal’s life of lies:

Scene: Cal and Mary.

So this scene has a lot going on in it but I think the main takeaway the first time I saw it was that Cal was married to The Ladder. We’re not sure exactly how much he believes in it at this point or how much he’s manipulating Mary into becoming an acolyte. But upon Re-Watch… Oh boy.

So Cal doesn’t have personal relationships. Certainly not with newbies. So why does he go out of his way so much for Mary?

Well the thing is that she has now met her basic needs. Remember our pyramid of pop psychology?

So she’s no longer about to die, she’s physically safe, had a shower, has a place to stay. Now she wants a sense of love and belonging. Which she tries to get by the only means she knows. Sex. Boy did she ever pick the wrong guy.

Or did she?

Heres the thing. Cal is also stuck at this level. He and Mary have the same need. Officially there is a huge power disparity in the relationship and its highly inappropriate. He may be a leader and she may only be a possible. But under the skin they are both needful of the same thing and can’t ever get it because they’ve been damaged so badly. It’s doubtful that either of them will ever move beyond this need.

This scene tells us everything we need to know. Though the performances mostly. Theres a disturbingly childlike quality to both of them. Visually compounded by Mary’s little girl nightie and butterfly underpants.

When Cal gently rebuffs her advances, Dancy’s performance tells us a few things. (In interviews from Season 1 era He described Cal’s relationship with Steve as ‘Complicated.’ I’m sure they had the back story planned from the outset.)

For those into micro gestures. When he said the word ‘ Sex” he flinches and wrinkles his nose in disgust. There is a lot of barely repressed anger in that tiny moment. Because he understands Mary’s Damage. Really understands it. Unfortunately.

They are also reflected in the window, and refections of one another figuratively speaking. Which is why they both love and hate each other at various points. But never, ever do we get the feeling that they don’t understand one another.

Mary says “ All my life I’ve had this fantasy that one day an angel would fly down from the sky and save me.” She feels as though she is fulfilling her destiny. This may be the only time in her life that an authority figure hasn’t taken advantage of her.

At that point there is a moment of recognition, almost elation from Cal. That could be interpreted as religious fervour at having saved a soul. But I believe it’s meant to be identification, the discovery of a kindred spirit.

“We were meant to find each other.” He says. he doesn’t say “ You were meant to find us” or “the movement”. But “Each other.”

Where was his Angel? Who does he call an Angel later in the series?

“My colleague is a fucking angel.!” He tells John Ridge in episode 5 and to Sarah in Season 2 “I miss your light. The way you looked at me that saved me as a kid.” Suddenly his obsession with Sarah takes on a more tragic, if more disturbing angle. She was a ray of light in his otherwise miserable childhood. He sees her, we learn later, as a role model for what is good and right behaviour. What does this tell us about his other role models in the movement?

Scene: Eddie’s Retreat.

We see the retreat at the Cousco compound. Which appears to be a converted Spanish church. Interestingly a lot of Catholic imagery is associated with Eddie on the show. In the courtyard Silas is helping a bald dude, Miranda Frank is dancing, and Eddie is tripping balls.

Ayahuasca as a therapeutic substance helps people come to term with their past trauma. Causing them to re-live it. In a Arthur Janov “Primal Scream”, cleansing sort of way. They come out of the experience feeling reborn and with neurosis cured. It is not a particularly safe drug cocktail however. It can be an especially strong potential trigger for those predisposed to Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, Dissociative Disorder and other psychosis.

So we can see what Eddie might not be having a particularly good trip, what with his past trauma and all. And unsurprisingly his brother comes back to haunt him. With a secret message. In the hallway to Steve’s room is an Owl sculpture.

Silas’ totem is an owl. Presumably this is his main hangout. As well as a shamanic symbol of wisdom the owl is a Gnostic symbol of demons, illness, disease and death. There are some oil painting on the wall which look like Steve might have painted them ( They look a bit like his ‘flowers’ from season 2.)

Heres the thing… Is Eddie experiencing a moment of genuine clairvoyance here? I thought at first it was all a drug trip and he hadn’t really moved from the courtyard. His brother’s ghost certainly leads him to the room. But…

Isn’t this compound actually where the movement is storing Steve? Could Eddie conceivably have wandered of while tripping and stumbled into Steve’s room? We do find out later that he literally got up and walked off somewhere for a while because Miranda Tells Cal so in Episode 4. Once again the truth is subjective but maybe less so if witnessed by more than one person. He also, quite possibly saw more rooms on the way.

Eddie sees a vision of Johnny twice more in the series. Once on the shore at Coney Island in S1 and once in his near death vision of the garden in S2. All three times Johnny is guiding him towards a major spiritual decision. But two out of the tree times Eddie was tripping on Ayahuasca. The time at the shore could be a genuine moment of psychosis, we don’t know. Eddie doesn’t either. It seems real to him, and he wasn’t expecting it.

Either way. He knows Steve isn’t a immortal ascended ball of light. And those extra rungs that were supposed to enable them to ascend to the garden ‘aint coming, and by extension Cal is lying to them all. Thats a lot of doubts for one day.

Scene: Eddie and Sarah fight:

The thing about Meyerists is that there supposed to be 100% honest at all times, as a result they are actually secretive as hell. Eddie lies repeatedly to Sarah during this scene, she assumes he’s sleeping with someone else, specifically Miranada Frank. , and he lets her think that because its less painful than the truth.

There is curious bit of dialogue here.

“ Sarah: All right, I love you, and I chose you.

Eddie: You chose me?

Sarah: I chose you.

Eddie: What do you mean, you chose me? Chose me over Cal? Is that what this is?

Sarah: No, no! That is not what I am saying.”

What does this tell us about their relationship? It’s important to her that she “Chose” him. But everyone chooses their partners right? I mean, unless they have an arranged marriage. and the Meyerists don’t… Do they? ( more on this later. I have a theory.)

In any event. She clearly feels that she took a risk on him ( maybe because he was a convert, an outsider, and she was the golden girl of Meyerism who was ‘supposed’ to end up with Cal? Eddie reacts so strongly to this, perhaps because it implies that he held her back from her birthright somehow?

So maybe the subtext here is “ I sacrificed so much to be with you, how could you cheat on me after that?”

” Look at me.

You are everything to me, okay? You’re it.

I remember the day.

I never imagined a future for myself before you,

but then there there you were with that glass of water,

and I didn’t have to try to imagine one anymore.

I had it.”

Reassuring her, she is the be all and end all for him. She is his salvation. Period. He was suicidal when he met her and she saved him. ( Much like she ‘saved’ Cal as a child.) Sarah as saviour figure is also a running theme on the show. (NB:We'll see Eddie as "Chosen One" again too)

‘There you were” he tells her , remembering when they met ‘ With that glass of water…”

Oh hello WATER my old friend!

We can imagine a young Eddie, bereft and suicidal, thirsty being given comfort by the Meyerist movement. Water. the shows favourite symbol of salvation. Actually the shows favourite symbol period. Besides Ladders. She pulled him out of his private apocalypse. Just like Mary at the trailer park. They gave him survival. His doubt is a very big deal. He stands to lose everything. As he says to Allison in the next scene:

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here.

You know,

I was high as a kite,

so what I saw, or what I think I saw, was it real?

You know, I mean, was the vision of my brother even real?

I mean, am I gonna blow up my life,

a life that I love,

because of something I don’t even know if I really saw?”

Yes he is. Because he feels the truth of it in his bones and he can’t live his life without Self- Actualisation. He is willing to give it all up for his personal truth. He loves her more than anything. But he will give her up if he has to. Contrast with Cal who holds onto his past infatuation and can’t let it go.

Speaking of which:

Scene: Sarah visits Cal.

Ok so this scene tells us an awful lot and is pretty damn creepy.

The Meyerists have no boundaries, we knew this, so Sarah going to tell her friend Cal about her marital problems is disturbingly par for the course.

Also I think Cal painted that bird. Remember he used to enjoy art once?

Then theres the dialogue:

“I was so scared of you when we were young.

Before Eddie.

You’d sneak into my bed.

Your hands were like fire.

I thought, “This guy could never really love a person.

Not for the years.

He needs too much.”

Firstly… WHAT??? He sneaked into her bed and felt her up? And she was scared? Ok so she seems to be implying that it was exciting but… Also HOW young are we talking here. This seems like a rather strange normalisation of something dark.

So Cal was probably sexually inappropriate with other kids his age. No surprises there its a classic sign of sexual abuse. We also learn that he couldn’t be emotionally intimate in the way she Wanted because he NEEDED too much.

Hello Pyramid my old friend.

He was stunted forever in survival mode because of Steve and couldn’t quite crack the sex and romance thing. And the horrible thing is that he remains silent the whole scene and literally can’t seem to respond to her because the dude is literally so full of secrets if he speaks he will open the floodgates and destroy the Earth.

So this is where we come to my theory:

That terrible dialogue:

Its so out of place. It doesn’t sound like her. ( She even quotes it like someone else said it.)

But you know who does sound like that? “ Flowers on Your Walls of Doom”, arch manipulator of the young, Steve.

On the few occasions we hear Steve speak in flashback. He sounds theatrical. Almost Shakesperian.

My theory is… That Cal’s later behaviour with Mary and Sean the ‘arranged marriage’ is part of an abusive cycle. I think he repeats what was done to him. I think maybe Steve sent a young Cal to Sarah’s bed in the first place.

In the same way Cal later sends Mary to Sean. Then gets a full report from her. THAT scene in ep 4 is very reminiscent of incest or something like it.

Oh and would you look at who’s watching them from the photo on the wall Behind Cal?

Hence why Sarah “Chose” Eddie. But for some reason didn’t have the agency to “Choose” Cal. Maybe Choosing Eddie was her one act of real agency within the movement? Lets not forget she nearly ran away with her sister. We might want to ask why?

Then perhaps Steve sent Cal away. Because he couldn’t have him getting to close to anyone. Offering him a life of vocation instead.

I don’t know for sure but it seems like something like this might have happened. And here’s why…

Scene: Cal and Mary visit Dad/ Plato’s Cave:

Right after this scene, Cal goes straight to Mary and suggests they “make it better” with a visit to her dad. Going to Mary is something he often does when his past comes back to haunt him, because she is,to him, like his inner child. She is his past writ large, open and honest and bleeding on the floor. No secrets. He acts out through her, processes his own trauma through her. How self aware he is about it is debatable. But his meeting with Sarah seems to have triggered him.

When you understand a bit more about Meyerism it’s shocking just how off the script Cal went by going to her Dad’s place and beating the shit out of him. Why did he feel the need to do it rather than just give her some Ladder Therapy? If he believed in Meyerism wouldn’t he try and get her to forgive? to move beyond it?

Because when she says the Ladder won’t help make it better he knows thats true, even if he can’t admit it to himself yet. And he goes very, very transgressive. Almost as though the act of violence is a rebellion against everything Steve stood for. Although at first all he wants is an apology. Demanding Mr. Cox to kneel and grovel in the dirt for forgiveness. ( Which is actually pretty Meyerist of him.) Its also possibly exactly what he would like from Steve.

But the turning point comes when Mr. Cox spits in his face. THEN he loses it. We find out later that Cal used to hand out flyers on the street as a kid and people used to spit on him. He may have a neurosis about it. But the whole confrontation with Mr. Cox becomes more about him than Mary at this point. If it ever was about her at all. But he does give her exactly what she needs. Vengence, justice, closure. And as a viewer, honestly. I was cheering the crazy bastard on.

So what do we know about Cal at this point?

He doesn’t believe, deep down, in what he’s preaching.

He has a lot in common with Mary.

He has a terrible temper.

He is capable of extreme violence.

He doesn’t appreciate being spat on. At all.

This does not make for a safe cult leader.

But it does beg the question whats more dangerous, a cult leader who doesn’t believe in his own propaganda, or one who does? Think of The Branch Davidians or Heavens Gate. Or the very Steven Meyer-esque David Berg and The Children of God cult? Belief can be a very dangerous thing too.

The scene is beautifully edited with Cal’s Plato Speech. Illustrating his hypocrisy even while he preaches.

Plato’s cave.

My favourite scene. Ironic and the perfect analogy. Cal essentially narrates his own life story without knowing it. The guy is somewhat less self aware than he pretends to be… And now we know it for sure. It ties into the episode title; “What The Fire Throws.”

Shadows of reality. We all live in our own version of reality with our own version of truth. Eddie has decided he’s had enough of this one. Cal is actually heading in the same direction, belief wise, as Eddie but he’s trapped in the institution in a way that Eddie isn’t. Steve literally made him paint a false reality for himself and without it he’s staring into the abyss.

Sarah has never even questioned her shadows. She was born in that cave. He presents the perfect argument against religion, and closed communities in particular. All the while railing against regular society and the untruths therein. The point is. There are many cults and we all live in one. Do we put our faith in a person to lead us? Eddies path is a lonely one, because the Room of Truth can only fit one person at a time. Would I let him lead me? Well.. I’m not pumping my fist and yelling “ Yay Cult!” anymore.

And as a viewer? We are presented with a reality on screen. And we are manipulated by that reality and shown shadows of reality, angles on things. This story isn’t all it seems. Theres an element of 4th wall breaking here too. Because it looks , at points, like he’s preaching right out of the screen.

And speaking of TRUTH:

Eddie admits his. But not to the people he loves. To a stranger in a motel room. Because sometimes the lie you’re living is the one you love the most.

#thepath #the path symbolism #the path #thepathonhulu #analysis #over analysis #idontreallyknowwhatimdoing

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roswellroamer · 5 years

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Sperrgebeit Lodge (Springbok) SA to Keetmanshoop, Namibia. 4/21/19

We woke in our thatched roof bungalows after 7 to a crystal blue sky with no clouds. Greeted by the expansive horizon dotted with scrub and rocks with mountains close by. Even the pile of "Zamalik" cans from the previous nights social hour (OK, maybe 3) had been cleaned up. Continued "Western" vibe, aside from some of the vegetation you could easily mistake the scenery for parts of Arizona, for example. Barren and dramatic. Little did I know but it would be one even more barren with vegetation moving to the extremely sparse level during this day. Breakfast was prepared by the couple who run the lodge. Eggs cooked for you, bacon, sausage, the usual stuff but very good. Had to top the meal off with a "cook sister". A piece of some sort of honey or sweetened dough cooked and as I understand it is usually twisted. But these looked like small 2" human shaped dolls. Tonight there is barely Wi-Fi so I am unable to add pictures that would show this. But when I can upload pictures I will so as to give an image of this tasty treat.

We headed north toward the border and got there by 9 as it was about 118km up the road. Passed by a bunker from the Boer war with it's cannon still pointed towards the highway! There are still a lot of German (ancestry) residents and visitors here in this area. Schnitzel is a regular item on the menus. We had a relatively easy time on the SA side. The usual as per the border details from the Patagonia blog 👇👇👇. Three stops minimum, get your slip of paper stamped by police, customs, immigration and then pass. The Namibia border used to be an open border as from 1915 until 1990 Namibia (formerly South West Africa) was the de facto fifth province of SA. The Namibian dollar is tied 1:1 to the SA rand and in fact most all the change received in 🇳🇦 has been South African bills, not Namibian. This is a great area to visit for so many reasons. And on top of the natural beauty is an added bonus for Americans. The dollar is strong. It is over 14 rand to 1$. Lodging and food have seemed very reasonable. Tonight's steak (T-bone) with salad, and alcoholic drinks (multiple rounds for some) ended up costing us 200ZAR including tip. About $14. 🤗 But I'm getting ahead of myself... After we left the SA border which neglected to collect my paper slip with the diligently obtained stamps, we crossed the Oranje river into Namibia. All non-Namibian vehicles must pay a fee to enter. Since it was Easter Sunday there weren't many folks there and we couldn't have navigated the border much faster. Still it was slow taking about an hour to get everyone through. We got gas at an EnGen station just over the border with a Wimpy's inside and we planned our ride. Four of us were interested to take a 60 mile or so detour so as to visit the well known (at least in Namibia!) Fish River Canyon. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish_River_Canyon

I was naturally in that group, so just under half our group turned left at a T junction on the unpaved road while the rest of the group rode ahead to the Canyon Roadhouse. We blasted through very well maintained gravel/dirt roads. Frankly even faster than we were running on the "tar". About 150Km/hr. At times even 190km/hr which is just nuts but for stretches these roads are in perfect shape. Of course everything you have is covered in dust from bikes ahead of you and cars/trucks passing you going the other direction. Often you are wishing for a slight wind shift to move the large dust clouds kicked up by our knobby tires ahead of you to clear the dust storm to one side or the other. When the crosswind disappears visibility can be cut to damn near zero. Caution must be exercised to avoid a surprise impact and even to stay in the tire tracks which are a bit more compressed and easier to navigate than the sandier piles in between the tracks and also in between the two lanes of travel. There was one persistent challenge today. In areas where rain would run over the road ( not terribly common in this part of the desert) there were buildups of deeper sand on the road. These would cause a squiggling maneuver between the two tires. When you're running 135km/hr and your bike starts to wiggle 6-10" side to side somewhat violently those of us not growing up on dirt get pretty nervous. I got less nervous as the day progressed mostly because I became keen to spot the telltale marks on the road and where they tended to be found in depressions. The Africa Twin seems to be a very versatile and comfortable bike, doing all I need on road and clearly extremely capable off road which is due to my observation of the guys on this ride, not from me! We made it to the pay station and bought our tickets then ran the final 10km to the rim. So worth it! Grand Canyon is deeper but this is almost as long and still very dramatic.

We have an early AM and big day tomorrow so I am gonna cut this a bit short. Rest of the day highlights included the following. Kitschy Canyon Roadhouse lunch including a loud Pandora's Box, milkshake, lots of old cars and trucks and gas pumps under thatch roofs. Coming to a river that caused one of our riders to go for a swim. That pic I was able to post 👆. The bottom of that river crossing was like glass covered in algae or moss. But no injuries and the bike was unscathed. Lovely stop complete with an assortment of long horned beasts in a zoo like enclosure and a scenic pool at the Maritz Lodge. Dinner under the thatched roof restaurant and sat outside for a while telling stories. After midnight, so good night! I got some crap from the SA guys watching me peck for two hours last night, but I still this it is worth it.

#namibia #motoadventure #advrider #southafrica #skullsinthedesert

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micronecro · 7 years

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KHR fanon VS DET: The Tragedy And Darkness Of Sawada Tsunayoshi

<<KHRF VS DET Part 2: The Station Location

Now that DET is over, I can FINALLY talk about how I broke a minimum of 3 fanon!Tsunas over my knee out of spite because I’m a bitter, bitter person who bathes in plot bunnies 24/7. This one is really long, because Tsuna is the main character and one of the most consistent elements in fic I’ve read.

So let’s talk about fanfic based around Tsuna’s tragic backstory.

From the outset, fics that try to make Tsuna tragic don’t really work. Tsuna already has a coping mechanism for emotional abuse, it’s his loser complex, created to cope with the fact he internalizes other people’s opinions of him and thus struggles to deal with the concept of him being an innate burden to society, a natural-born failure who will never amount to anything. This is the kid who goes “haha, I’m so dame” and committed so deeply to acting like this is comfortable to him that his mom picked up on it, even though he directly mentions how much he doesn’t want to end up like his father, who he perceives to be doing the exact same thing. This kid has issues, is what I’m saying.

And I get wanting to write Tsuna differently; his attitude means he’s a complete self-satisfied buzzkill unless you go to cartoonish extremes. If you keep telling him he’s awesome instead, he’d instantly switch to being an egoist (a la Mochida), but it’s not exactly easy to get an emotionally battered and socially isolated teenage boy to internalize ‘if you try harder, people will be comfortable with you’. It’s like telling him ‘if you REALLY get into it, you can make rejection feel even MORE painful and scary’. Reborn pretty much had the right idea when he went with “fuck you, these people are your friends now, and there’s nothing you can do about it”. AU Tsunas are pretty natural, here, because Canon Tsuna really only works in a select few kinds of fic. Less of a dark drama character and more of a ‘awkward guy in your coffee shop who struggles to speak to people and is uncomfortably willing to prostrate himself to the guy who spilled coffee all over his shirt’ character.

The problem is that people treat Tsuna like he’s a completely ordinary delicate flower and try to fly by on that concept alone.

And to make interesting AUs from that, they give him a tragic backstory.

The tragic backstory is always the same. His peers don’t just reject him, they beat him up. (Presumably because Enma got beat up..........by irrelevant high-schoolers.) His mom neglects him and never shows him affection. His dad is is, in Reborn’s words in at least 16 different fanfics, “Idiot Iemitsu”, who is incapable of noticing the blatantly obvious. A lot of the time, there’s an abusive twin brother soaking up the attention. Neglect is often involved. Something traumatic might have happened to drastically change Tsuna’s personality, like a kidnapping.

Now, I have to remind you, there’s nothing actually wrong with drastically changing Tsuna’s personality. DETsuna is completely unrecognizable.

The problem is that the fics use that tragedy as excuse to stop treating Tsuna like a person.

Type 1 - The Wilting Violet

So your Tsuna has well and truly broken.

This is the Tsuna that appears most often with ship fics written by Teens, because Teens are the type of people least likely to understand how acute stress affects people; that level of empathy can only be achieved by personal experience, acute research, or extended exposure to media that depicts trauma in empathetic ways.

For the Type 1 OOC Tsuna crumples, acts shy, and does a bunch of self-conscious stuff, often in ways that don’t really make sense for the abuse he experiences. People who don’t understand abuse tend to be hyper-correct, like small children learning how English works (using words like “eated”); someone being physically abused is going to be hyper-vigilant for possible attacks. It’s not logical for a person to flinch when someone raises their hand to grab something off the shelf, but it happens anyway. And even if the author has the character act irrationality, they still love making it seem like it’s Correct behaviour, with the abused character acting like they genuinely think they’re about to be struck, even actively thinking about the assumption, rather than a kneejerk jolt of fear at a familiar gesture, completely separate from conscious thought, like you can somehow convince someone to stop doing it if you make sure they trust you.

It pretty much works this way for Wilting Violet Tsunas. Tsuna is just a trembling woobie, and he shies away from others, but holds a Great Kindness. People who open up to him are like people baiting a wild animal with food, coaxing him into comfort. He’s constantly set to ‘slight fear, occasional happiness’. He’s nothing but a hurt/comfort vehicle. Wilting Violet Tsunas are completely incapable of anger unless it’s on behalf of his friends, and are never petty unless it’s against bad characters who deserve it.

In DET, Tsuna is demure, self-loathing, and ‘broken’, but he’s mean.

He’s spiteful and easily frustrated, gets bored all the time, is unreasonably petty and often really catty. He compulsively talks back. His personality is riddled with flaws.

Tsuna is more or less aware that he’s pathetic, but all that does is make him feel powerless to stop his own flaws. He, too, listens to people when they tell him he’ll never amount to anything and is deeply scarred by this concept, but most people just tell him he’s really creepy and emotionless. Tsuna kicks off the series genuinely thinking he doesn’t have feelings because emotions don’t come quickly to him and his lack of external reactions made people Assume that of him, and because he's devastatingly lonely, he’s more willing to listen to them.

As stress is added, he does wilt, but it’s not just a crumpled pathetic little baby to dote on, it’s a kid with a very strong idea of what his Normal is struggling to balance out the negative buildup through his life. The thing is about Giving Up is that that is, in of itself, a type of coping mechanism, a way to reduce stress so no matter how bad things get, the person is always on the exact same level of Rock Bottom. It’s the reaction of someone who’s decided they don’t have the strength or footholds to risk dancing on the edge of the Marianas Trench.

In DET, Tsuna starts out with that caution, that pathetic baby attitude that makes you want to take care of him, but he’s not hiding some deep, untouched purity and kindness. He’s hiding ugly shit, the kind of tumultuous emotion that comes from trauma; anger at innocent people who are dealing better than he is, pushing people around so they don’t get anywhere near his actual psyche, abandoning people so he doesn’t have to deal with actually addressing his problems, and just being a snarky little bastard in general.

Tsuna’s wilting personality isn’t just sad emo crumpling, it’s turning into something ugly, rotten, and unappealing.

But the important thing is that he’s still likeable, he’s still kind-hearted, and deep down, he’s the type to fight back his stress with teeth and nails, clawing his way back up until he ruins himself. Tsuna’s emotional coping mechanisms are always extreme, violent, and unstable, but the amount of effort he puts into them is alluring to people not used to dealing with any sort of stress. That’s true for both the characters that interact with him and the readers themselves.

Type 2 - The BAMF

But wait, you say. All this anger sounds a lot like the BAMF! The hardass that is angry that they’ve been wronged. They’re snarky, forceful, and tend to be bitter. And when that goes into unhealthy territory, the character funnels their rage into a fighting spirit.

This one is actually a more accurate representation of dealing with trauma, but it also kind of reeks of liberal Suffering Is Fake and How Dare You Hurt.

In fics, BAMF Tsuna has been wronged, and his abuse made him stronger. He’s powerful and competent now. Everyone who wronged him? They were mistaken. Tsuna is actually quite strong and awesome, and now he’s pissed.

The BAMF is a power fantasy, pure and simple.

This is actually reflected both in Hibari, who is being actually actively physically and psychologically abused, and Tsuna, who has his negative self-image and PTSD reinforced at every turn.

Hibari is unstable, and his unwillingness to show weakness doesn’t do much but make him incredibly annoying to deal with. Hibari is an asshole, and he has no motivation to do awesome stuff, and the actual BAMF stuff he does (like beat Zeni to death) are poisoned by his selfish motivations and awkward (and on some level horrifying) execution. Tsuna’s running commentary on his baddassery sounds like like ‘UUUGGGHHHHHHH’ than any acknowledgement of him being cool.

Mirroring this, Tsuna is, again, pathetiiiiiiic.

Tsuna is constantly doing badass stuff, but he doesn’t just poison the image, he actively sabotages it as much as possible. He talks casually with the feared Hibari Kyouya, but he’s scared shitless of the guy and the only reason he sounds casual is because of his blunted affect. He throws down with Hibari, but only because Hibari is forcing him to do it; he doesn’t like it, and the only reason he doesn’t quit the DC is because he enjoys the high of having some sort of power because dodging Hibari just feels so awesome, in theory.

Tsuna kills someone to save his friends, but it’s not rational; it’s an extreme self-destructive impulse, tempered by his lack of respect for his own self. There’s nothing cool about it. He’s scared, but doing his best to galvanize himself by telling himself he’s worthless so there’s nothing wrong with throwing himself at someone who will definitely kill him. Protecting Hana barely even factors. He just feels like it’s the most sensible thing for him to do because he values his own life that little.

Combined with the fact he’s still bitter and petty, you get the picture of...someone who is unstable, and hard to use as a power fantasy. His triumphs don’t give you a rush, they’re at best comedic and at worst emotionally exhausting.

Type 3 - The Dark character

But wait, you insist, isn’t that what a dark!Tsuna is?

Oh boy, my dude, you sure hit the mark, because parodying dark!Tsuna fics was the entire point of DET to begin with. They are an epidemic and I’ve had enough.

An important part of understanding how this is is knowing what dark characters are, and how they work in relation to an intertextual narrative. I’ve used this phrase before; You see, an intertextual narrative is when one story’s narrative is influenced by knowing about the progression of other narratives. CLAMP’s xxxholic and Tsubasa Chronicle are intertextual narratives, for example, but in the context of fanfic, it’s something closer to, say, BBC Sherlock or CBS Elementary’s relationship with the original Holmes canon. Their very existence is intertextual, their texts being influenced by knowing the text of the Holmes canon exists at all.

A Dark character AU is an extremely intertextual trope. The entire appeal is giving a normally harmless character an edge. Dark characters have very few moral compunctions, are very Machiavellian in nature, and aren’t limited by their strength; they can be destroyed by their demons or rise above them with a vicious kind of of ambition. The point is simply that they go against the grain of comfortable social standards and break away from complacency. You may recognize this from ‘way too many Harry Potter fics, please god stop, I’m so tired’.

A badly written Dark character is a loosely-strung-together collection of concepts that seem cool and Dark, and with Tsuna, those concepts are often stereotypical canon stations mixed to be edgy. Tsuna often runs away from the world that’s limiting him to excel in his ambitions. Sometimes, an event turns him cold and calculating. Most of the time, the world feels afraid of what they’ve done to make Tsuna like this.

And here��s how DET breaks this trope:

The things that happen to Tsuna are infinitely darker than Tsuna himself, and Tsuna is funny.

Rape is quite possibly the most uncomfortable thing for the average person to think about. It hasn’t been normalized by society and media the way torture and domestic abuse has. It’s used as an atom bomb of tragedy and horror, a shocker to create cheap villains and cheaper drama. If you’re depicting rape as bad in your story, it’s bad. Child rape is the most dramatic possible thing anyone could write. This is true darkness. True horror.

Tsuna does not care.

That isn’t to say that what happened to him somehow doesn’t matter, or that he wasn’t horribly traumatized and had his spirit broken and shattered into itty-bitty pieces. That definitely happened. The fact he was already broken was a huge factor in how he reacted to the Seal.

The most important thing, though, is that people are still people, no matter how bad the things that happen to them get. They’re complex and constantly striving for some semblance of normality, and they’ll often do literally anything to achieve it.

Tsuna isn’t preoccupied with what happened, and doesn’t strive for revenge, and doesn’t consider his behaviour in terms of the all-consuming influence of his tragic backstory. This shit was normal to him, and he strives to maintain that normality. It’s the same rhetoric that makes people crave their abuse after leaving it, but he funnelled into healthier things. He knew what happened was wrong and he felt he was wronged, but the most important thing to him was that he had been ‘gullible’ enough to manipulated and used by someone he thought cared about him, and then was subsequently ‘abandoned’. It fed into his conformation bias of things that are horrible to him, specifically, which is abandonment, isolation, and neglect. Since the neglect is what spooks him the most, Tsuna’s reaction is less on overcoming tragic backstory and more on doing his best to keep it from happening again by never doing anything to jeapordize his positive relationships. If someone’s decided to treat him a certain way, Tsuna is dead-set on making them keep that opinion, even if it would improve if he was more proactive. He is TERRIFIED of rejection, and he will do ANYTHING to avoid it, up to and including actually abandoning his friends before they can do it to him.

And above all, he’s funny.

He’s cold and bitter and angry and prone to backtalk, he’s shy and meek and submissive and puny and cute, but his headspace is a screaming wreck. It’s almost impossible to tell that he doesn’t emote on the outside for most of the fic, because he spends so much time overreacting and overthinking, picking at the scabs lining his train of thought, and losing himself in his ideas. He reacts to everything. It’s a constantly-jumping series of surprises, and surprises are the heart of comedy. Tsuna’s actions are unexpected to even Tsuna himself, and it drives him nuts. His attempt to deal with sudden fear is to scream at it in his head until it goes away. His attempt to deal with confusing new circumstances is to go to unnecessary extremes to make the situation completely unfamiliar to him, and he hates that he does this, but he feels compelled to do it anyway.

Tsuna knows that he’s dark, is the point. He knows, and he doesn’t like it, and not unlike a teenage Spiderman, his primary reaction to it is to sass it to gain some level of power over it, to shine as much light as humanly possible onto himself just to maintain the illusion of normality, and most of the time, he does it so loudly that it works. His urges to do things that make him happy are just as ludicrous as the things that make him feel stable, and Tsuna has decided that YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE THAT’S A GOOD THING ACTUALLY. MAYBE IT’S AN OKAY THING???? EVER CONSIDER THAT?????

It’s not. It’s terrible. It fixes nothing and without a second Roof Scene he’s going to burn out. It’s pretty clearly exhausting him. But the internal conflict and brazen unpredictability is, by nature of all absurd things, very funny.

It makes him complex. It makes him tangible. The Reaction To Self is the most important aspect of writing, as a three-dimensional character, and in DETsuna, it’s brought to its most logical extreme.

I mean, canon Tsuna does this too. That’s why his attitude isn’t completely insufferable. The self-awareness is what’s causing his problems to begin with. KHR wasn’t popular for it’s compelling plot, after all. But sometimes, you just wanna be a little Extra.

#txt it #DET #DET Meta #this one is a WHOPPER #DET Omake

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