#and just in case tho i tried to be kinda vague on them and nkt elaborate too much: | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meatriarchived · 7 months

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not to be a complete sap at six thirty in the fuckin morning but like.

Its been a trip and a half this past what month and a half maybe since i came back to this account? After leaving it over nearly two years ago and expecting not to, especially after everything that happened last year

(can skip over stricken part ♡) ------(finishing degree, brothers dog passing from cancer, moms cancer diagnosis, helping dad be her caretaker and watching her wither over the two months of treatment, family being insufferable and unreliable and still demanding shit from her during that time, the stress of preparing for my graduation and losing her right after, my youngest cat passing)

and the last thing on my mind being trying to write. In spite of mom telling me to get back into it, it was just one of those things where i couldnt really find the push to do so. Grief for my sister twenty years ago gave me the drive to write because she used to write poetry, and grief for mom and my cat-baby had seemingly killed it this time last year.

I really wasnt expecting to come back to tumby to write when i came back here, and i expected that itd be a week before i disappeared into the ether again, but ive genuinely had so much fun this last month and a half writing and chatting over disc - which was also VERY MUCH unexpected because i really never was comfortable with using it or joining servers but im seriously so happy i finally did - with those who have gone on silly lil tangents with me over these silly lil guys on my roster. Who've made all these different lil dynamics with me, for all the boards and the affiliates and all of that.

Ive really had such a good time the last few weeks, its given me a much needed push in terms of getting out of bed yknow? Not letting grief have me in such a chokehold.

And its very much appreciated, truly, to just come on here and be silly and feel welcomed. It's something very much new in spite of being all over the rpc for years. You guys are seriously such a breath of fresh air and im very happy and very lucky i feel being able to write and talk about a game and characters i quite literally have never even played dhudsb

All that to say, ive just been feeling alot more lighter since coming back and alot of its to do with how sweet and lovely and welcoming yall have been.

Before i let myself get any Worse on the sappiness, just leaving a Thank You for yalls patience with me esp this past week tryna get my damn brain back from being lost in luggage sbdjvud vacay brainrot is still lingering but hopefully goes away soon.

Its just been very nice since returning. Yall have been more than lovely vibing with and letting me ramble about muses with near nothing to them that ive yoinked from gun to my others from near non-existant r.pcs like my remakes and trials peeps. And with my little bird.

Im a ridiculously reserved and quiet person and my anxietys got a chokehold still that makes me hesitant in reaching out / talking as often as i wish but i do feel like ive started poking out of that since joining the server. (I also often sort of. Blank out. Time passes me by very strangely and it sometimes comes with me not realizing hrs or at times literal days have passed without me registering it has. So, especially thankyou on being patient with me c;)

Thank you for the last month and a half ♡ its fuckin wild to me that its both been a month already and that its only been a month. Feels like its been simultaneously much longer and much shorter somehow.

#dont mind me woke up a sap like two hrs ago and im eepy #talking about cuteness last night i think turned my brain mushy overnight. its the lingering maria feels sbudbd #also to not cause concern hopefully - i am okay!! i just woke up Sappy ♡ dbudb #and just in case tho i tried to be kinda vague on them and nkt elaborate too much:#pet death cw #parent death cw #cancer cw #vent cw #[ 𝟎𝟎 ] ── * 𝐎𝐎𝐂. { renee. }

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