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beetleboo · 3 years

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long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.

but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.

if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.

because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events

partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.

i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.

around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react

was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.

but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react

couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.

gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)

RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.

except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.

and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’

this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’

this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)

the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.

(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)

and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.

so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’

a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.

so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.

so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.

roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.

now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’

and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked.

and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.

why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.

so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.

people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.

no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.

anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably

#beetleposts #miserytag

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nemxricultrix · 2 years

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Knowing your partner well makes writing together a lot easier. Tag this with the people you enjoy roleplaying with but want to get to know better. below cut cuz Big

Basics :

Name: Fox

Age: 25 time april. Damn, i'm a fossil.

Preferred pronouns: he/him but i dont really care

Sexuality: Asexual

Zodiac sign: Aries, aka "I'm too stubborn"

Taken or single: Single, no i dont want a relationship.

Three facts :

1. I have chronic ADHD brain problems and probably should be on some meds but fuck medication i was a zombie inmy childhood i'm NOT FUCKING GOING BACK FUCK CAPITLISM! 2. I'm a janitor please respect your janitors. 3. Attnetion? Never heard of her. Inspiration? Who? Ability to function? Look outside and ask me ask luh meow

Experience :

How long (months/years?): 13 years i;m a fossil in internet time! YALL REMEMBER MYSPACE?!

How’d you start: You know that Maximum Ride series yeah in one of those books Fang started a blog and in that same book they put a url to the now defunct max-dan-wiz forums and uh things kinda spiraled into ending up here, i've been here for a decade.

MUSE PREFERENCES :

Female or male: Both? both? Both is good.

Favorite face: uh...??????

Least favorite face: UH

Writing preferences :

fluff, angst or smut: I like all three though if ya know me i am a horny moron so like, there's a reason the smut blog exists. but i like fluff in this bitch too

Plots or memes: Yes. Meme me up Scottie.

Are you like your muse(s): IF YA HAVENT FIGURED IT THE FUCK OUT I PROJECT A LOT.

Tagged by: ha! none. tagging: literally everyone who pays attention to my existence

#dash meme

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zulu-shiro · 3 years

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* Sinora

* 28 when resurected

* Awoken

* Flames, red snake, often nicknamed sinner

* She/her

* Hunter

* Solar, blade barrage

* Wick, predator sun shell

* Zavala, ikora, cayde-6

* Meme with syndland and amadon

* Synland-7, amadon-9

* Breakneck

* Malfesence

* Shards of galanor

* She dosnt really use ornaments?

* Red strings of fate

* Mobility

* Offensive

* Aggressive and up front

* Gambit all the way ❤️

* Cayde-6, he helped her alot in trying to deal with her anger and teaching her not just fighting but also relaxing

* She cant mentor

* Callisto lancer

* Undettered

* Predator sun shell

* Crimson valor, gambit jadestone

* Red

* Anything sweet, she has a huge sweet tooth

* Pistols

* She hasnt heard any, ahe barely listens to music in general

* Sitting at the too looking down or in a window somewhere

* Drifter, ikora, eris, asher

* Tangeled shore

* Gambit, strikes, cats, walks, scenic areas

* Anything spicy

* Nebula rose

* Edz, its to noisey

* Dont really have any honestly??

* Drang

* Joutin

* Unessacery crowds, brightness, hive, pvp, lakshimi

* Her living space is abit messy, alittle one bedroom, with a big window and book shelves

Casual wear *

* Knife throwing/ tricks , hair styilin, reading, training, plants

* Fires call

* She was reborn on the tangled shore in east on a connected rock

* Old queens court robes, with a huge scar on her chest

* Scared and she violently reacted

* She was starteled and held her wound wondering why

* Hostiles but thankfully a group of guardians found her and helped

* Markus a titan and spitit-2 a warlock, who found her during a patrol mission.

* Only the clothes she wore but she did not realize where they where from as she never met the queen in her guardian life.

* Wick named her

* I honestly havent thought that far for her book, but i did make her her own exotic weapon!

* The drifter

* She went straight to the city

* She was amazed but timid

* Yes she is!

* As far as ik, no???

* The flame reachs all

* She is pretty newly rezed a a couple years before the red war so her interactions are limited but she has formed connections with others. The only iron lord she knows is saladin

* The spider as she worked with him for a time, the drifter

* She hates how cold and empty she feels when she uses it

* She did run the last wish and she was terrified of riven

* She felt bad as she really likes the elkisni

* She is not she is from d2

* She lost her old fireteam and carries some memebtos of them. She hid away in a cave in the mountions just outside the city.

* Osiris-she dosnt really know till recently, so her opinion is wavered

* Eris- She holds in very high regards, and enjoys talking to her

* Cayde-6- was a mentor and friend to her so she respects him alot

* Ikora- she goes to her for advice but is often left more confused

* Zavala- they do but heads so its abit strained between them

* Saint-14- she didnt know him till he returnd and she was at awe of the great titan she heard so many storys of

* Saladin- she only really talks to him for bountys when shes lower on glimmer

* Crow- she honestly has a hard tim due to her remebering what happend to cayde, but as time goes on she is trying to heal

* The spider- she worked for him and was a bounty hunter for him till she found out abit crow. in a fit of rage she almost blew up the hut.

* uldren- Kill him again

* Mara sov- She never knew the queen that she once served after she lost her memory.

* Variks- she alomst killed him when she had to save him from eramis but couldnt bring herself to it

* Elsie - they are indiffrent to eachother for the most part as they didnt and still dont speak to eachother

* She is not handiling the darkness well, its like she can still feel it.

* ”Keep your eyes straight and dont waiver”

#destiny 2 #destiny guardians #destiny original character #destiny beyond light #zulus guadians #destiny hunter

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lieberts · 3 years

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tagged by @jidai and @zenien and @dicennio to do these <3 not tagging anyone, but feel free to say i tagged you if you wanna do these

1. MUSIC TAG MEME Rules: Post your first twenty songs in a playlist on shuffle

can’t let you go by adam lambert oh god

the giant’s exit from the majora’s mask ost

sing for absolution by muse

all that we see by the black ryder

offering by black city lights

miss moneypenny by placebo

spusti svetlost na put by kralj čačka

dance of the knights by prokofiev

suspirium by thom yorke

the hills by the weeknd

i don’t like mondays by the boomtown rats

silence by azra

spirit of peace (part 3) by popol vuh

build that wall from the bastion ost

politik by coldplay

jenova from the ffvii ost

akira the wild from the devilman crybaby ost

jazzman by carole king

morning after by ariel pink & weyes blood

modern man by arcade fire

---------

2. Rules: MAKE A NEW POST, bold what applies to you and tag whoever you want to get to know better.

APPEARANCE I’m an I-need-to-pull-the-driver-seat-all-the-way-in kind of a person // i wear glasses or contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i wear makeup // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how I look // I prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backward

HOBBIES & TALENTS i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic (ehh??) // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand (kind of...... not for long tho)

RELATIONSHIPS i am in a relationship // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long-distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETIC i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sunrise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colors // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISC i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least one dog // i have a cat ---------

3. THIS OR THAT TAG GAME (1)

4. THIS OR THAT TAG GAME (2)

indoor plants or gardens // cloud-watching or star-gazing // water or fire // paperback or hardcover // running or hiking // sleeping with socks or without socks // fruit or vegetables // hanging plants or succulents // dark wood or light wood // handwritten or typed // instagram or pinterest (both suck and are full of reposts but instagram is seriously bad) // braids or pigtails // books or movies // oceans or meadows // forests or fields // sweet or salty // ice cream or chocolate // hoodies or sweaters // long hair or short hair // piercings or tattoos // summer or winter // boots or sneakers // cars or motorcycles // curls or straight hair // castles or cottages // sunny days or storms // reptiles or birds // disney or nickelodeon // strawberries or watermelon // essays or posters // phones or laptops // glass or stone // dark or light // photos or paintings // circuses or theaters // reading or writing // dogs or cats // poetry or novels // monsters or ghosts // thrift shops or libraries // fiction or non-fiction

5. Post one picture from my camera roll (no new downloads) to sum up my personality!

6. 30 QUESTIONS TAG GAME RULES: Answer 30 questions and tag others

Name/Nickname: jeja, jeca, j, lena Gender: female Star Sign: aries Height: in a surprising turn of events im 167cm not 165 as i initially thought <3 Time: 10:30am Birthday: april 10 Favorite Bands: arcade fire, muse, placebo Favorite Solo Artists: hozier, chelsea wolfe, idk Song stuck in my head: vive la fete by noir desir Last Movie: interview with the vampire Last Show: i have no idea i havent finished a tv show in ages tbh When did I create this blog: i think january 2011? jesus What do I post: anime, art, video games Last thing googled: vive la fete by noir desir to see if i spelled it correctly Other blogs: wessobrunn but its inactive Do I get asks: i get bullied by sen a lot Why I chose my url: because i love the liebert twins from naoki urasawas monster<333 Following: 147 Followers: nah Average hours of sleep: like 7-8 hours? Instruments: none What am I wearing: beige sweatpants and a black hoodie fashion icon jelena Dream job: i dont dream of labor Dream trip: japan, asia in general, central europe Favorite food: too many im not a picky eater Nationality: montenegrin (derogatory) Favorite song: BRUH i dont have one fav song there are too many Last book read: mađarska rečenica by andrej nikolaidis Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: i think it says a lot about the kind of content i consume when i cant think of a single one that would actually be enjoyable to live in...........

#i have a whole folder with liam payne pics like that its very important to me #jtp

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mull3ts · 3 years

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just here to tell you that mark prays for you. dw i also pray for you, if you didnt know i actually read the gospel every mass 😌 a bad bitch monday to sunday (except 8 am to 10 am) a church girl every sunday only at 8 until 10 am 😊😊 ok back to my speech *taps mic* HI BUB i WOULD LIKE TO START THIS SPEECH WITH VERY INSPIRING QUOTE I GOT FROM A FRIEND WHICH I ACTUALLY USED AS AN IG CAPTION; 'at the end of the day, it's night' very meanigful, right? YOURE A VERY TALENTED WRITER AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT YOURE ALSO VERY CREATIVE TOO LIKE UGH DAMN PICK ONLY ONE STRUGGLE BAE. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR LITERALLY MATCHING MY ENERGY IN EACH ASKS I SEND LIKE IBSJSNSJNSJABA THANK YOU FOR THOSE MEMES AND SNAPS YOU SENT I WOULD FOREVER TREASURE THOSE 😌😌 AND LIKE EVERYTIME YOU HYPE ME UP OR LIKE MATCH MY ENERGY I FEEL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT THROUGH THE SCREEN 😙♥️ WITH THAT BEING SAID, I, AREUM (yes thats my name. im actually half filipino and half korean. born in the philippines but grew up in chicago. i can speak filipino but korean 🧍‍♀️ *sorry to all my ancestors.*) PROMISE TO FOREVER LOVE AND SUPPORT MY FAVE MILF, ABI. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! THANK YOU FOR THE EFFORT YOU PUT IN THIS BLOG, I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL YOUR HARDWORK AND EFFORT. YOURE AN AMAZING AND HOT HUMAN BEING SENT BY THE ANGELS. I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU, YOU CAN LEAN ON ME, SEND ME MORE NCT SNAPS OR MEMES, TELL YOUR PROBLEMS. JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT I'LL ALWAYS ᵇᵉ ʰᵉʳᵉ ˢᵘᵖᵖᵒʳᵗⁱⁿᵍ ʸᵒᵘ.. WHEN I SAY ALWAYS I MEAN IT, IM JUST ONE CALL AWAY, DW I DONT SLEEP SO 😀 LASTLY, TYVM FOR ALWAYS TAKING TIME TO ANSWER MY DUMB ASKS IK THEY SOMETIMES GET VERY RANDOM BUT THANKS FOR ANSWERING THEM. I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH MWAAA ADVANCE MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! i just hope you dont write me in your christmas wishlist just bcs you found out my name, bae, i dont want to wake up under your christmas tree, inside a box, i'm clausthrophobic (scared of santa claus.. jk im fr claustrophobic) ENOUGH ABOUT ME ILYSM MY GIFT FOR YOU THIS YEAR IS UNLIMITED LOVE AND SUPPORT FROM ME, UNLIMITED HUGS AND KISSES 😙😙 I'VE SAID THIS ALREADY AND I'M SAYING IT AGAIN, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ABI MWA MWA KITH 😙♥️

sorry if there are errors in my speech i havent sleep for 3 days now and i look high and dead at the same time.. its scary but dw im fine i'm still hot and looking fine 😎 *throws gang signs at you* feeling the effect of my sleeping pills already.. am i supposed to feel sleepy? its currently 11: 30 am here in Chicago so ig i'll be doing my once in a week sleep lawls ilysm abi buhbye 🍇😙♥️

dino 🦖 says: areum loves you, abi, remember that!

Ending this with the best words i've ever heard:

dilf johnny.

ok buhbye i feel really sleepy now. always take care of yourself. stay safeeeeee i love you and i aint never gonna stop loving you, bitvh 😌🍷

WOWIE THANKS FOR PRAYING FOR ME, I TOO WILL PRAY FOR YOU WHEN I PRAY WHICH IS SOME TIMES WHEN I GO TO SUNDAY MASS WITH MY PARENTS 🤡 thats such a meaningful quote tho IK I NEED TO PICK A STRUGGLE BUBS IM SORRY BUT YES IK IM MATCHING THE ENERGY BCS THATS WHATS UP AND IM IN MY NATURAL HABITAT RN 🤠🍷 MAAM THATS SUCH A PRETTY NAME THO AND HELLO IM FILIPINO TOO :D I SHALL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND SUPPORT YOU TOO, AREUM MWAH MWAH 💖 AND I WILL HYPE YOU UP BCS ITS MY JOB 😎 AND THANKS FAM MWAH I TRY MY BEST 🙃 AND YES THANK YOU MY INBOX IS ALREADY YOUR BITCH SO HAVE FUN W HER, BUT YES MERRY CHRYSLER 🌳 IK WRONG TREE BUT SHUSH ANYWAYS MWAH MWAH KITH KITH I LOB YOU MORE MWAH MWAH SMOOCHIE AHSHAH 😩💖 but its oki fam dw abt errors bcs i didnt see them 😎 and m-maam we're in the same time zone 👀👀👀 and jsjskakakakkskan mWAh I LOB YOU MORE THO BITCH AND I AINT EVER GON STOP LOB-ING YOU BITCH

#i feel like we just poured our hearts out onto eachother #but thank you ily

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pendraegon · 3 years

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hey ignore this if its annoying but i wanna ask a question about geass since i started watching it thanks to your posts. im 8 episodes in and there isnt any acknowledgement that the "innocent" brittanian citizens are also compilicit in the crimes of their empire, does this get any better? do any of them have crises of faith? im watching them have fun and cant relax bc im thinking abt how theyre occupying this land. i dont care abour spoilers btw, thanks in advance and i hope i worded this okay

im still like a bit down from going to the dentist but PLEASE imagine the “code geass? i havent heard that name in years months” meme

GOD um. okay. not really? i’m trying to remember through the mdzs fog, but i think the most sympathetic is milly but even then her family is kinda only sheltering lelouch and nunnally because the ashfords want to get reinstate their family’s nobility. i watched the show uh, twice or so when it first came out and like now watching it it’s really uh..................................EXTREMELY uncomfortable to see just like...how much none of the britanians seems to care and truly DO believe that they are entitled to occupying land on any of the areas (and of course topping that off with calling people by numbers or seeing them as subhuman).

#ANON CAN I SAY THAT READING THE SENTENCE THAT UR WATCHING CODE GEASS BC OF ME I AOSIDFJOSAJAFDKSA #im so sorry and welcome to the RIDE #anon #code geass #Anonymous

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stapcsa2 · 3 years

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——— BASICS! ♡

NAME! ♡ kayla

PRONOUNS! ♡ she/her

ZODIAC SIGN! ♡ capricorn

TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡ i am dating mgg havent you heard?

——— THREE FACTS! ♡

1! ♡ i never learned how to ride a bike dskfjdhvcnmdjs whoops

2! ♡ i started rping in ... seventh (?) grade by passing notes back & forth with my best friend at the time and, funnily enough, it was bones rp

3! ♡ i , and if you know me well / irl you’ll know why it’s totally out of character , took rotc all four years of high school and i .. loved it even though i had never had the intention of joining the military

——— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED! ♡ only tumblr / discord really now but i used to rp on facebook, kik, & skype

——— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER! ♡ i started with female muses then went through a period of only being able to keep muse for males muses and now it’s female again so dskjfn

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡ i don’t really have any? i mean problematic people for sure and people who have died irl are a little ehhhhh for me but i don’t really have any least favorite ones

MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡ i have a multi........ i try to use it...... i fail so .... single

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: i love fluff ........ chris is just not a very fluffy person so it’s..... tuff

ANGST: love it love it love it let me beat her up, shoot her, kidnap her, and then throw her on your muse’s doorstep

SMUT: sure yeah fuck yeah. Not always. And I don’t like writing the nitty gritty details often. But I love good smut stuff and I love sex headcanons!!

PLOT / MEMES! ♡ i like to have a plot pre planned in terms of the arc or verse and then go meme wild all over it. So both? plot then memes. (except i fucking suck at plotting dshbdsfnk )

TAGGED BY: stole it

TAGGING: everyone!

#dash games.

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grannygerd · 3 years

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I’m Lynn from PVRIS! AMA

I’m Lynn from PVRIS. We just put out our new album Use Me which you can listen to HERE. This Saturday, we’re going to be playing our first album White Noise front to back in its entirety for the first time ever. You can get tickets for the live stream HERE.

Proof: https://imgur.com/9K4IgJf

DieDunkleFritte: Hey Lynn, would you rather have really small hands or really small feet? Best regards from germany :D pvrisofficial: Feet!!! Need normal sized hands to play instruments! haha

Nikkiestables: Lynn!!! I was in the US for my exchange and was going to FINALLY see you in person but I couldn’t:( do you think in the future you would tour Asia? Which parts would you like to explore? (Please say Hong Kong) pvrisofficial: We'd love to tour Asia more! We've loved the places we've been in Japan, Singapore, & South Korea so far! Would love to add Hong Kong!

ShadeOfNothing: Hey Lynn! I’ve been a PVRIS fan Since White Noise and I’ve loved seeing the band’s sound evolve through the years. I know you’re a huge believer in astrology, past lives, and the paranormal, so I was wondering if there were any crazy experiences you had witnessed or drew inspiration from while writing/producing Use Me. Thanks so much! pvrisofficial: yessssssss I am a nut. I didnt make Use Me in a haunted church this time but i DO think I stayed at a haunted airbnb. Food kept disappearing and then one night a giant ghostly handprint was left on my guitar case and my hand was way too small to have created it.

hinterscape: Hi Lynn! I've been following you guys since ~2014, you're awesome and I look up to you. Do you see yourself making music forever or how long do you see it if not? pvrisofficial: FOR-E-VER! It might take different forms and go through different stages but i think i will always be creating music!

imaliveunfortunately: Hi Lynn! First of all I love you and the style of music you've put out recently. I saw you at Reading last year, and in Manchester in 2017 so I'm really happy to seeing PVRIS get the exposure it deserves :) So it's gotta be asked, I understand there's issues with the label, but what are the chances of Mvdonna and Blood On My Hands being released? Whether it be as singles, on a new EP, the next album, etc? They're just damn good tracks pvrisofficial: I want them to come out SO BAD too haha. I want to make sure the production is perfect so its now a matter of finding the right collaborator for them.

CookThePasta: Do you believe in life after love? pvrisofficial: yes

OldManMalekith: Hi Lynn! How did working with JT on Use Me differ from your previous experiences with producers? Everyone that I've seen or heard work with him puts it as a really positive experience, and he helps make great stuff! pvrisofficial: He is the BEST. He was very similar to Blake in the sense that he was incredibly nurturing and encouraging, dedicated to making sure it was 100% everything I wanted and always stood up for me if the label ever tried to change it. His production style is definitely different but its extremely diverse. It's a lot punchier and crisper and a bit more minimal than in the past but i think it almost makes things more impactful that way!

villanelleinsuits: Hi Lynn! You’re a creative genius, thanks for existing. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?? pvrisofficial: I would love to live in the UK countryside!!! Maybe Bath or something.

Queenio01: How are you feeling today? pvrisofficial: Sleepy but EXCITED to rehearse!

dancorcoran: How often do you get recognised by fans in day to day life? pvrisofficial: Not too often! I usually get recognized at coffee shops and starbucks though? and Lush hahaha

jessica_pasta: Hi Lynn!!! Was wondering how do you make your synth patches? What synth sounds are your favorites? Thanks so much! Love PVRIS and all that you do ❤️❤️❤️❤️ pvrisofficial: I use Zebra a lot and also use a Prophet Rev2. One of my favorite things is to throw synths through different effects to get an entirely new sound!

ImadaPC: Hi Lynn, I got a question. What inspires you to make music and why? pvrisofficial: What inspires me is wanting to hear something I havent heard! I want to hear all my favorite artists and influences into one thing so that's usually how PVRIS stuff is inspired haha.

staceelogreen: What are your stand out albums of this year!:) pvrisofficial: Great Q! 070 Shake - Modus Vivendi Tinashe - Songs For You (technically 2019 but I've been jamming it all year) They. - The Amanda Tape KAYTRANADA - Bubba (2019 but it came out late 2019 so it counts as 2020 for me!) Howling - Colure

DH00338: What are you most excited about in terms of this new era of PVRIS? pvrisofficial: More writing!! and more collaborations!

creewitch: Hiya Lynn! I hope your morning is going well. When have you felt the proudest of yourself and why? ☺️ pvrisofficial: Oooo good Q! I always think there's room for improvement so it's hard to feel pride, but I am definitely grateful for my resilience through the crazy shit haha.

liky_gecko: Because you’re from the Boston area, what are your favorite spots to eat/hang out there? I may be going to school there pvrisofficial: Do itttt! My fav spots are a little outside of the city.... the Crane Estate, Mt. Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge, Maudslay State Park in Newburyport, Portsmouth NH, Shedd Park Cemetery in Lowell.

goszkv: Hi Lynn! Was wondering if you'll ever consider coming to Poland :( ofc post corona pvrisofficial: yes!

cecy_db_11: Hi Lynn! Can't wait to see you guys this Saturday. How do you feel once the songs you write (your personal feelings and thoughts) are available for the world to listen? Do you get used to that over time? pvrisofficial: Still getting used to that to be honest. Once songs are out, I weirdly stop listening to them. Prior to that I listen in the car a lot and drive around testing songs out haha.

musicfan1976: Do you think the spring 2020 shows will still happen or be rescheduled again due to Covid? Stay healthy and take care. pvrisofficial: I truly have no idea.... :( you take care too! <3

yikesmiles: Hey Lynn! I hope you’re well! I’ve always been curious, what was it that inspired you to make music? pvrisofficial: Good Q! WHen I write, I try to write music that I want to hear that hasn't crossed my path yet.

LeahLNurse: Is there any unreleased songs you wish made it onto White Noise? pvrisofficial: Nope!

JRuiz1775: Hey Lynn! I remember the first time I saw and heard you guys was when you opened for Pierce the Veil and Sleeping with Sirens. I was hooked and have tried to see you guys anytime you are in my area. My question for you is what is your favourite tour experience? What is your dream tour to be on? pvrisofficial: There's SO many favorite tour experiences. I love touring the UK and Europe a lot, exploring before shows is my favorite thing and has some of my favorite memories. Our UK/EU tour with BMTH was one of my favorites.

ac-36: hi lynn! i love your music so much, it means a lot to me. if you were to remake your past music now, how do you think it would be different, and what do you think the future direction of the band will be? pvrisofficial: I would definitely approach the drum production a bit different but keep it pretty similar with the other textures/instruments! Future direction can go anywhere! Definitely want to keep taking risks and trying new things, but still keeping it dark!

staceelogreen: If you could go back in time to give yourself advice, what would you say to your past self? pvrisofficial: Take it easy on yourself.

NouveauJacques: Hi Lynn, huge fan and I love the power behind your music. Do you ever write songs that are too emotional and feel conflicted about putting into an album? pvrisofficial: usually if they feel too emotional or heavy, I know they need to be released haha

Defiant-Strawberry37: Hi Lynn, hope everything's okay with you and the band. I'd like to ask you what PVRIS' era you think is the best and why? Hope I can see you guys someday soon acting in Portugal. Love you all! PS: why so Lynnda? *portuguese pun intended, beautiful = linda in portuguese* ly! pvrisofficial: Thanks! I love every era tbh but I'm definitely always the most excited on the present moment!

pvrisbae: youre the cutest little soul ily. whats ur fav song at the moment? pvrisofficial: Brian showed it to me! It's "Too Late" by Washed Out.

agnespvris: Hi Lynn!! Have you had any good laughter when you've been looking through the #pvrismemes ?? pvrisofficial: oh you betcha.

whothefuckisrvmi: ok so im not understanding shit about this app but im here for you pvrisofficial: thank u

vioIentbounce: hi lynn! what do you think will be your favorite song from use me to play live? pvrisofficial: I think.... Good To Be Alive or Gimme A Min

jaydenc30: hi lynn I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you and everything you do! I hope you are doing well, what was the first song you wrote for use me? What’s does PVRIS’s future look like to you? pvrisofficial: First song for Use Me was Old Wounds! I wrote it before the second album even came out haha

IrlandaBDelao: Hi lynn, would you be down to open commisions for tattoos? If so, how much would you charge for a drawing? pvrisofficial: I wish! I do not have time to at the moment :( but if I have time in the future, you will be first to know so you can get first dibs!

CookThePasta: are you really looking at all of our memes?? pvrisofficial: trying OUR BEST!!

nonoplznowhy: why did your parents name you Lynn? pvrisofficial: Lyndsey* but they always call me Lynn or Lynds. I was named after my mom's childhood bestfriend named Lynn, she passed away when my mom was pretty young :(

golrip: What is your favourite song on awknohawnoh and why? That album literally changed my life and shaped me into the person I am today so I would really love knowing your opinion. also: what's your favourite the weeknd song/album? pvrisofficial: NOLA 1! It was my favorite to write and the memory around that time is magical. We wrote it in New Orleans and it's my favorite city.

bnizz95: Hey Lynn!! I saw you guys perform for the first time live in Cambridge last September and im so excited about the stream. I was wondering what your favorite song/songs off this album are? Also, do you still steal rosemary from your neighbors? Hahaha pvrisofficial: hahaha I have a little rosemary plant that I use now :)

vioIentbounce: are you still making collages? if not, have you taken up any new artistic hobbies lately?❤️ pvrisofficial: Little collaging here and there :) I've been researching a lot of interior design and fashion design lately!

fee-lixdawkins: Hey Lynn! Excited for the livestream! I know you’re an AFI fan. What is your favorite album and song(s) by them? Would you ever want to tour with them? I’d kill to see that happen! Take care! pvrisofficial: Brian is the bigger AFI fan! I cant pick a fave Im scared

ivykrvft: How does it feel to (kinda) be performing again as an entire band after all these months? pvrisofficial: Really good!! Definitely going to be weird without you guys in front of us!!

Ariana_0918: hi lynn <3 i wanted to know when you saw florence in concert what was your favorite song she performed live? pvrisofficial: Cosmic Love. She played it first and it was acoustic, I instantly cried hahahaha

TheSinger_Z: Hey Lynn! How old were you when you first started writing songs? What is the most memorable prank/joke that you have pulled or has been pulled on you while on tour? How many instruments do you play and what’s your favourite? I just want to say thank you, you’re my biggest inspiration when it comes to music (I sing and I’m learning to play guitar and hope to do it professionally when I’m older as I’m only 14 😬), and I’m really thankful for you guys. I got meet and greet tickets for November 30th for the White Noise stream, so see you then! pvrisofficial: i was in the 3rd grade. the songs were horrible. Its not really a prank but we love having our in ear monitor tech do the worm on stage sometimes. Extra points when he does it in costume. I can play 7 instruments! Looking to add more to the arsenal over time. I love piano a lot and drums. Keep it up, can't wait to see you be a star!!! ALso the livestream is the 21st! DOnt want you to miss it :)

CheezeGrenade: I missed out on a lot of concerts growing up and I couldn't make it to a concert out of state that I bought tickets to about a year ago. Will you guys play through Awkohawnoh again in anyway? Such as Half/Winter/No Mercy/Walk Alone. Litterally that album and the one before got me through alot of depressive phases in my life and Awk has really inspired alot of my writing for a series I want to create someday. pvrisofficial: I cant wait for you to start writing it! You got this! We will be playing through AWKOHAWNOH but the date is not announced yet :)

srankie: Are y'all Pats fans? Red Sox? Bruins? Cause if not the Eagles family will accept you with open arms pvrisofficial: NEW ENGLAND/BOSTON ALL DAY BABY!

macauley7: Could u please ask harry styles if u could tour with him? I need a pvris x harry watermelon sugar vibes thanks pvrisofficial: I'll call him right now.

brisbubbles: Hey, Lynn! Can’t wait for Saturday! I was wondering, how do you feel about singing old tracks from WN since you relearned how to sing? What has that experience been like? Wishing you and Brian the best! xzlinx: I am wondering about this as well. Maybe I am just nosey but I wonder about the process of retraining your voice and what exactlt happened. It must have been insanely difficult on her mental health but goddamn what a trooper bc Use Me is unbelievable! pvrisofficial: Great questions!!! Singing WN is definitely a little challenging to begin with because I'm older and my tone isn't the tone of 19 year old me anymore haha. A big thing was anxiety which caused me to choke up a lot and tense my chords. Then when i was being coached, out of fear of damaging something we had to rebuild and start small and light which we think caused the chords/muscles to atrophy, which set it back further haha. I eventually went to another coach who then was able to take my "retrained" voice and then strengthen it up and rebuild it back to where it was before!

ImOnlyHalfAlive: Hey Lynn! First, I can't express just how much PVRIS has meant to me over the last couple of years. Your music has helped me through so much, and I will forever be grateful. My question is: What's a life mantra you've always lived by? pvrisofficial: Life mantra (theres a lot but this one I always connect to when it comes to career): Patience and persistence is key.

Okosano: Hi Lynn and greeting from Germany! The one and only important question here : Whats your favorite comfort food? pvrisofficial: Favorite comfort food...... Indian food! My absolute favorite.

Ok-Personality1480: What’s your favorite tea pls 🤠 pvrisofficial: Throat coat for singing, housemade chai for joy.

CookThePasta: Do you know the muffin man? pvrisofficial: yes

LynnGvnnFvn: What were the creative differences between writing an album like White Noise or AWKOHAWNOH and Use Me? pvrisofficial: Age, time, locations, different producers and collaborators!

unit525: How are the submissions for the meme competition looking? Any front runners emerging? pvrisofficial: It's a CLOSE call for a lot of them...

LynXiger: Which song from your discography is your least favourite and why? pvrisofficial: I wont say incase it is anyone's favorite!! hahaha

lgbtiffany: do you have a tendency to incorporate spirituality into your creative processes? love the album and can’t wait for the stream ✨❤️ pvrisofficial: I think creating is spiritual in itself! You're channeling sound and melody and MAGICCC! So yes!

vessed1: hiii. I’d love to know who found the White Noise mirror ☺️ pvrisofficial: Me too

LynXiger: What is your favourite genre to listen to? And how has this changed over time? pvrisofficial: I'm a big sucker for hip hop and pop... really anything that's catchy and hits hard and has cool production!

nicthehic: Hey Lynn! Been a huge fan for a long long time and took up doing music professionally because I was inspired by you and the rest of Pvris’ rise and work ethic. I was wondering if there was anything you would do differently while recording your first album and any advice to new ish band working on their first professional project (in the midst of covid no less) and any tips to make our first album just as great and timeless as white noise Thank you! pvrisofficial: Awww this is awesome! I'm sure you're gonna crush it! I definitely would have wanted to make the production a little different but keep a lot of the same fundamental aspects/textures. Do what YOU feel you want to create and dont feel any outside pressures. Crush it! Cant wait for you to record!

minidudette106: Hey Lynn, Do you ever think its crazy that people get tattoos of your lyrics & ones inspired by your music? also wondering what your thoughts are on pineapple on pizza? lol pvrisofficial: I used to get freaked out bc I didnt think my lyrics were great but now I think its so cool! haha.

Hot-Lime3627: Hi Lynn, how is Opal and the other cat whom you took care of during quarantaine doing ? pvrisofficial: They are back with their owner! I truly miss them every single day... they were my little fluffy pals.

kelcea244: How do you keep your creative muscle flexed so you’re ready to create? And do you create every day? EDIT: Also really sad you guys weren’t able to make it over to the UK this month! We’ll be so psyched for you when you do come! pvrisofficial: We are sad too!!! We can't wait to get back whenever it is safe to play shows there. I miss it every day! I try to create every day even if it's just 5-10 minutes, always good to keep those muscles flexed!

socksgrowonbushes: first of all i just want to say how much i admire you, you’re amazing :) my question is what is your favourite song you have ever written? is it one that’s on an album? one that hasn’t even been released? i’m curious pvrisofficial: Use Me!

LadyEpicenter25: What the significance of playing in Arizona?! pvrisofficial: Resources to make the stream happen and rehearsals happen :)

bitchesonthephone: I have one question and one question only: When will we get Let’s Go Vertigo? pvrisofficial: NEVERRRRRR

Antique_Performer_45: Hi Lynn! I’ve been a big fan of PVRIS for a few years now. Which song from Use Me was your favorite to write? I love you guys! pvrisofficial: Use Me! or Good To Be Alive!

JadeAdelaideee: Hello!!! You’ve been a huge help with me realising I was gay, is there anyone who you would look up to when you were younger who sort of helped ease that journey? 💕✨ pvrisofficial: tbh i didnt have many. It was the scattered bits of magical gay representation on teen tv shows like Degrassi/Skins etc. haha

brandonjback: what song are you most proud of from AWKOHAWNOH? pvrisofficial: Anyone Else and NOLA 1!

DixieF: A question I've been waiting ages to ask. Why are you guys so awesome? pvrisofficial: We got awesome parents!!!

Emmahumphrees: Out of all yours songs what is your favourite lyric?? pvrisofficial: "On the porch the ceiling's painted baby blue dressed to the nines just like the sky in early afternoon 'cause it's midnight and the ghosts might be coming soon" Its a reference to a New Orleans superstition that the baby blue porch ceiling would ward off spirits in the night to trick them that it was the daytime sky.

lgbtiffany: what was the most difficult part of trying to regain your voice when you were having troubles with it? pvrisofficial: Definitely just getting on stage every night knowing it wasn't working and having to pretend it was... haha. Super embarrassing.

cnnrtower: Hi Lynn! MA fan here who first saw PVRIS open for A Skylit Drive at the Palladium in 2013. Super incredible to watch the journey for the band / yourself as an artist! What was the first gig/experience that made you stop and realize that PVRIS was going places? pvrisofficial: one of our first headline shows in CT back in 2015. Show was crazy!!

KimLC24: I was just wondering how you get your inspiration to do your art and music? because it can sometimes be hard to even get motivated let alone create pvrisofficial: Totally relate and understand! I won’t lie, the older I get, the more I need to hype myself up and set a tone to create, especially when there’s so much music swirling around us at all times (the internet/streaming/etc). I almost always have a moody or dreamy movie/show playing on my ipad next to me while I work so that way there’s an inspiring visual going.

deadweighttttt: Hi Lynn!!! What’s your all time favourite lyric from the album?! pvrisofficial: HII!! "Do you even notice how easy you've got this? Taking wings off a goddess if I'm being honest"

Pvffreis: Hi Lynn, I have no idea how to use this/reddit but great to see you here! Hope you're doing good? <3 Update: I figured out how to edit comments ayyy I just signed up to ask you this very important question: Red or green apples? pvrisofficial: Idk how either but I think I got it!! Red apples! W PB

dancingonslowsand: Hi Lynn!! Been following PVRIS for a while and I’ve loved seeing how your sound has evolved over the years. Do you have any idea of what direction you want the band to go in the future? Or are you just riding the wave and seeing what happens? Also what’s your fav bird pvrisofficial: Thanks so much! I definitely plan to just keep riding the wave… I feel like every album leaves some room for the direction to go anywhere so the next chapter never feels too restricted. I have been feeling pretty hyped and high energy lately so I feel like it may reflect that a bit! Fav bird is… PENGUINS (even though people debate that they are mammals.)

pvrisofficial: Okay my friends, I gotta head out and get to rehearsals! This was so much fun, sorry I couldn't get to every Q. Love yall! See you guys so soon! <3

November 18th, 2020

#lynn gunn #lynn gvnn #lyndsey gunnulfsen #pvris

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