i miss my brother so much it feels more like mourning.

I'm curious about: 7 and 18?

7- What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

I dont know?? Im not kidding im just not sure? I suppose that my complete hatred for making unhappy endings is one thing, along with having a love for fluff and angst. Plus a sprinkle of horniness and comedy when i can.

But those are tropes, my writing…? I'm just a little creacher trying my best, not sure if there is anything too special on it? I usually think I'm very odd at writing, it feels more like i get hit with a hammer that makes me write and next thing that I know there are words on a page.

18- Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Oh boy.

The thing is, I usually have an idea and I work towards it, but on the way there I change the plot to fit better so I have to drop it. So I have a lot of unused plots that could no longer fit into the story I made.

Ok i will do a rundown of the ones i can think of clearer.

Heart Machinations: Originally Elias was going to be the big bad, due to him just not interacting with anyone besides Peter. He has no caring for humans but for him. Due to the fact that if I just kept the story contained to the two of them, without any outside forces interfering it would become boring and repetitive with the murders. So I gave them friends.

It helped, but also took a little bit out of it I suppose.

Once Upon a Time: Its not finished, but i can say this, originally i was going to use Jonah, because i had an idea for the end to be used regarding him. In fact the last part of the story was going to be more… mm not fucked up, but i would say less nice. I was not going to include Pasha the way I did, but since I decided half way through the story to be as self indulgent as I wanted I chose to go for the found family trope.

It does however have two endings.

And the sea is calling back to me: Was going to end in chapter 4, i added five because of the joke of Elias getting parental vibes. I did not add it, but I fully intended for him to adopt with Peter. But due to me thinking well i already messed up their characters lets keep it ambiguous, so i did not go with it.

The world turned upside down!!! I know someone always tells me that one day i will go with the sad ending and surprise everyone and this is the closest i was to do that. Twice in fact. I almost let Jonah kill himself for once, and on the other i also almost let him stay in the lonely forever.

Originally he was going to lose his memories forever, but I changed it last minute and by now I regret it, it would have been more powerful if he did, Yet letting him keep them was in fact a way for him to slowly heal and make up for his past too. So im conflicted.

Also i was going to switch the pov, the other would hear the tapes of him reacting to their tapes. Its what makes Peter go to look for him, it would show everyones reactions to him slowly losing his memory and his denial and grief over hearing Jon, Barnabas and Jonathan’s tape. Peter was going to be gutted at him just turning off his immediately.

In the end I went with Jonah’s perspective. Which I liked a lot.

Afterlife beach party: Chapter 1 it was almost at the end that i went ambiguous cause, again i was too nervous to commit to trans Jonah. I still am!! Its why the very few ones i do use that i ask for a beta, I just don't want to sound like i'm portraying it wrong.

Chapter 2 Jonah was going to start calling himself they far more. I was too nervous about it so I kept it to the very minimum.

Chapter 3 Oh yes, that one had a bad end that I decided to not use where Jonah just couldn't leave, he would rather stay in the lie then go and be alone. I also changed him seeing the cat for what it really was instead of Peter like i originally intended, so i could save it for the end.

Chapter 4…. i was going to lean into the gender thing more but i as i said feel like i'm not good at it. There was going to be more about him deciding to use the skirt because he liked it and it didn't really mean much, but I went with exploring it with his opinion of his hair, I felt it was a more natural progression.

Lesson is? I am very nervous and skittish with gender despite the fact that I have ideas on it with Peter and ELias that I like and want to explore a little bit more. Still baby steps, maybe eventually i will be able to do it.

Finally the rise of the sky!! After chapter 2? It was going to be just one more chapter and it was completely different.I It was almost done, all from Stella’s perspective. The lonely didn't take her, she left on her own to travel without anyone noticing. It was her just going on her own exploring and slowly picking up things for her siblings that she gave Salesa to deliver.

I was actually almost done to be honest. But I just scrapped the entire thing and did the siblings chapters instead. Its an entire au from the story that I wish I could end and use, but it feels sort of like a disservice. Maybe I can eventually do what's left and put it as an alternate thing, but I hardly think it matters much.

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