pictures from the old city of jerusalem's "african quarter", which comprises of ribat al-mansuri and ribat al-basiri. mamluks built the compounds in the late 13th century to house muslim pilgrims and the poor. ottomans used them as prisons, and the british closed the prisons when they occupied jerusalem in 1917. the ribats then came under the ownership of the islamic waqf, and were leased to the local afro-palestinian community.

afro-palestinians have an array of origins. like some other diaspora communities in palestine, some came through pilgrimage - al-aqsa was on their hajj path, and while many would visit to pray there, some decided to settle in jerusalem. there are also some who came to palestine enslaved or conscripted, most recently to ottomans. some came during the time of the british mandate, many as conscripted laborers to the british. afro-palestinians who can trace their ancestry do so to nigeria, chad, senegal, or sudan.

jerusalemite afro-palestinians were employed to guard al-aqsa throughout the ottoman period. during the 1948 palestine war, some joined the arab liberation army and fought with fellow palestinians to defend al-aqsa and their presence in jerusalem. the position of guards has been taken by occupation soldiers since the 1967 war, after which a quarter of the afro-palestinian population became refugees in surrounding countries.

jerusalem's afro-palestinian community still live in the compounds today, which also house the local african community society. (the door in the last picture is theirs.) afro-palestinians as a whole face the same legal, social, and economic restrictions and maltreatment as other palestinians, compounded with the same anti-black racism from israeli government and police which ethiopian jews and eritrean asylum seekers face, which result in a form of "passport racism" unique to them.

Full House 🏠

By: Otakuhoo

A home is some what like a place you can dwell unto if you’re so tired of the world and badly needed a place to recharge. A safe haven that you can just grab every thing you need like love and support from the rest of the people living in it. In other way, it can’t be called a home either if the ones living in it don’t reciprocate feelings for each other. Rather, it’s simply a house.

I’ve tried living in a random house. When I got a job away from my country, I’d never thought I could find a similar home I had back in my home country. I lived in a villa together with my colleagues at work. We were all girls (which lessen the excitement) in there. I’ve always wanted to try a kind of liberation where I get to live with random people with variety of personalities and beliefs. We were 14 girls when we took our first step in the house and hastily picked our own rooms and roommates. Luckily, I have my very own buddy with me in that journey so automatically she’s gonna be my roommate.

The girls I lived with were quite older than me. I’m the youngest in the herd (since most of us are plus size girls!). There goes my introvert personality again. I’m not much of a talker at first, scrutinizing people I guess had been a hobby of mine before I get to slide in to their world PARTLY. They were wonderful women with different life stories and battles that had overcome with. Let’s start from the ones in the ground floor, shall we? 👍🏻

Gelli (Korean-ish) 🇰🇷

She’s a sweet little introvert just like me. ✌🏻✌🏻 (only the introvert part 😬) Looking at her, you could probably think she’d never done any white lies or rebellions in life. She’s very intimidating to look at and to be with. You could really distinguished how dark-skinned you are if you happened to sit beside her. She’s a total ideal package of a girlfriend must have for boys. It’s freakin’ me out how come she’d never had a boyfriend. With a god given beauty and fairness like hers, damn what else guys could be looking for. Seriously, this girl never had a boyfriend? 🙀🙀 A shock to my bones and to my internal organs.

Very well, she looks even hotter I mean cuter with the eye glasses. Too bad boys, she’s an oppaholic. You have to be an oppa-ish guy before you can date her. 🇰🇷🇰🇷

Babylyn (The Pretty Amazona!🇧🇷)

If I’m the youngest based on age, well this girl just beat me being the youngest based on her name. She’s a baby for Pete’s sake. Guys would be calling her baby without any reason cause that’s really her name. I wonder if her parents have thought really hard in giving her name. (Just kidding babz!!) But she prefers to be called BABZ rather than baby. She’s the exact opposite of her roommate who is Gelli. She’s too loud even when her intention is just to whisper. She’s the clown in the group. And she could be a temperamental clown to be honest. 😂😂 She gets angry so easily after a lot of teasing. That’s what you call ricochet Babz. ✌🏻You get what you ask for. 🤗🤗What I like most about this girl is her strong will. She’s an independent SINGLE girl. (I have to emphasize the status SINGLE 😂😂.) Just like Gelli, she never had a boyfriend too. No questions ask. (Peace!! She might get mad again while reading this.🙏🏻🙏🏻) She is such a family oriented girl that she chose to prioritize her family’s needs and I salute you on that sister! Long lived the single since birth women in the house! 🙌🏻

MJ (The Fashionable Mom)

Nothing beats the gloriousness of this modern fashionable mom, onee-chan MJ. Well, she doesn’t even look like a mom in the first place. She’s so bubbly that she never rans out of things to say. She’s the kind of girl you wanted to drag with in a place where conversations are starting to lasts. She can be very intimidating at first maybe because of the mole? 🤗 Seriously, she has that modelly kinda look and that mole suits on her face perfectly. We’ve never bonded that long because she has to move out and transfer to the nearest accommodation in the hospital we worked in. Still, we waved each other hello and chat sometimes.

Kimberly (Motherhood 1st Runner Up) 🤰🏼

This lady here is the roommate of onee-chan Mj. She’s about to have a precious angel a few months from now. I addressed her the 1st runner up because she was the second one who got pregnant after coming back in the villa from vacation. I’ll tell you later who is the culprit. 😂😂✌🏻

She is our “chef”. Every time we’re celebrating a special occasion in the house, we’re always looking forward to her cooking. I guess it’s her fault why we all gained such weight. 🤔🤔 Food catering could be a good business partnership with her. 🙌🏻🤟🏻

They are the ones residing in the first floor. Let’s move a notch and head on to the 2nd floor. The girls here are kinda interesting (that includes me!) as well. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Reycianne (Ms Motherhood inter-amniotic 🤰🏼👸🏼)

That’s right! She is the culprit. 😂😂 She started the trend. She had been my movie and cooking buddy in the house. She’s petite but her energy is a bit taller than her. She talks a lot when she was still not pregnant. Now that she’s a preggie, she can’t close her mouth anymore. Just kidding! 😂😂 I love this woman. She’s very religious and I get to learn a lot of things in life from her. She taught me how to be wiser and crazier sometimes. I miss teasing and laughing at her because she never gets mad easily. We tend to tell each other’s secrets and gossip about loads of things.

To your soon to be baby GIRL, may you not inherit your mommy’s weird personalities. 😂😂😂 Cheers to your upcoming new family onee-chan XHAN! 😘😘

Rubia ( The Food Enthusiast!)

If you can’t get enough of every food, there must be an itty bitty of Rubia in you. Trust me, I think she had been to most of the fast food chains and restaurants in the city. She can be onee-chan Kim’s sous chef cause they both love to cook but Rubia loves eating more. (Peace on earth yo!) She’s cool to go out with too. One time when me, her and Carla went to buy some groceries, thought she’ll buy all the stuffs in the store and close it for good (hahaha) cause she ended up in the counter with two carts and one is fully stuffed. Most of it I think were edible. Bet you know what I mean. 

Well, I hope that this enthusiasm she has on food will lead her to finding Mr. Right. I think she’s used to eating meals alone in a fancy restaurant and if she keeps on doing it, some random (hopefully the right one) guy will get to sit and talk to her over a meal. Drastically,  we were in Saudi Arabia so the guy can’t probably sit with her unless they saved some seats in the family section. I’ll keep on crossing my fingers Onee-chan RUBZ till they all get tied up. (hehe). Luckily, I get to see one of your facebook stories that you had been video calling a certain guy 😲, guess every thing starts falling into place.  🥰

Sherly ( The Sweet Country Girl-ish)

Yes, she is sweet not just by her looks but also her voice. The first time I get to hear her voice, I sighed and told myself  “I can get along really well with her.” Cause I once had that kind of voice too, so hearing someone having a  silvery voice (which is cooler than mine) can be called my soulmate.  🥰 🥰 I like how she smiles a lot. It’s so vibrant, warm and inviting. I’ve never seen her at her lowest point, though she had a hard time working on some HR files back in our previous hospital where we worked in. She was sad but not devastated. You couldn’t even tell she had a bad day unless she tells you.  👍 👍 Now that’s what you call pure magic. Too bad, she didn’t renew anymore her contract in KAMCJ,  which made the house kinda gloomy when she left. No more sweet voice of Onee-chan Sherly coming from the kitchen or the living room. She’s like the first one to get us some food every meal time. When me and Carla had our second vacation back to the Philippines, she let us stayed in their house for more than 20 days. We hanged out a lot including onee-chan Joyce (which I will be talking about later). I was able to meet her cute dog named Zoe which was given to her by onee-chan Xhan. We both love dogs so much. Hope I can get to see Zoe and her real soon again. 

CES ( The Timeless Beauty)

If I’ll be on my thirties, I want to have a rare, youthful and smashing beauty just like hers. I find hers a natural one even with or without make up on. But you could never mask the radiance of a natural beauty. I love how doe her eyes are on photos, (Gelli has these kind of eyes too) it’s what I’ve always wanted to have. She has a daughter and I can really tell how much she love her when they had this Skype moment back in Jeddah. She was about to cry and her voice was already shaky. I was so moved by that moment where a mother and daughter seeing each other for the first time after a long long flight overseas. It was also her first time being away from her family to work abroad. Most of the girls in the house weren’t first timers in working overseas. I think there were 4 first timers (including me) in the house. 

She’s onee-chan Sherly’s room mate. She loves movies and she’s very much familiar to a lot of famous Hollywood actors, actresses and singers and some Korean dramas and k pop groups.  And with that, we can get along so well. Don’t forget Gelli too.  😉 😉 Same thing with her, she didn’t also renew her contract in KAMCJ after finishing 2 years in there. So miserable that every person in the house were gradually leaving. It’s part of growing up, I guess. And if we really wanna grow up, it means we have to grow apart as well. I think now she’s back in Saudi Arabia but in a different hospital. Wish we could grab some meal altogether just like the good old days in Villa 6. 

Ruby Joyce ( My Mother from A Different Household)

That’s right, she was my mom in villa 6 and until now I still call her mom, A SINGLE MOM, co’z she’s also single and she has me as her daughter so that makes her a single mom.  😇 😇 (That’s just for fun.) Her room back in the house was just in front of us. She’s cool, fun to be with, has a prominent motherly instinct, a big sister you can call on to and of course very voluptuous. She can handle very well her gorgeous bold body and I admire her for that. I’m a plus size as well but seeing how she dress up for the occasion, makes her look like she doesn’t have the weight. She embraced it too well that she made it invincible to the people and that’s a pretty good thing. 

When she left and ended her contract in KAMCJ, I was in melancholy. I believe we’ll still gonna see each other again but it’ll take long. I can’t actually handle goodbyes pretty well, so when she was packing her stuffs and about to leave the house, I said my farewell as quickly as possible co’z I don’t want her to see my eyes well up. Somehow, when me and Carla both had our second vacation, we decided to meet up with onee-chan Sherly and her. We had the best time of our lives for a couple of days. It was a great bond and I’m glad that we were still able to catch up after missing each other so much. I hope Mr. right will able to find her so I’ll have a dad to be and she can live the fairy tale life I know she deserves to have. 

Michelle ( Exuberant and Full-spirited)

I admit, I seldom pray and go to church but I am still a great believer of God. Onee-chan Michelle here is both. I always saw her pray, not just to put an act but it was really heartfelt. She and onee-chan Reycianne are the most prayerful persons I had noticed in the bunch. Though, she’s very religious I must say, there’s this side of her also that is very comical. She tags along very well to some of the jokes some of us had thrown and laughs hard too. I noticed that she has a boyish walk. Well that was when we still used to walk together back in our villa. She’s onee-chan Joyce’room mate. She didn’t stayed too long in the house as well co’z she had to moved out and transfer to the nearest accommodation from the hospital. Both she and onee-chan MJ were assigned in OR so they’ll probably gonna be room mates. I’m not sure if she’s still in KAMCJ, but if she’s still there, may God keep her and the rest of the front liners safe from all this torment from Covid-19.  😇 🙏

Carla ( The Dauntless Petite)

Finally, I’m down to her since I kept mentioning her in some parts of this blog.  👄 👄 Can’t blame me co’z she had been my company since we started that roller coaster ride just to get where we are right now. She had been my smallest yet straight forward wind vane. I had became so dependent on her that I sometimes depend my decisions in life on hers. While depending on her, I learned how to become independent as well. She could be a walking contradiction and I find it really challenging. She’s so outspoken that you don’t want to miss a thing on not talking back at her. She could be really provoking that not being able to express your own thoughts is like having a wimpy limb. She’s an inspiring artist too. She was the one responsible for all the wall decorations in our villa in every upcoming birthdays. There’s this side of her that’s also very prayerful.  😇 😇 Well, if you want to know more about me and her, I had created a separate blog on how acquainted I am to her, bet you want to read it. Here’s a quick link. (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/otakuhoo) 

We really are growing apart but not that further. We’re still now in the same country practicing the profession we’re bestowed to have. Just that, we don’t work in the same company but still we manage to keep in touch and that’s the thing we don’t want to lose. The full of secrets, funny, opinionated, mature and nasty😁 conversations. I’d say, I’ve grown fond in this kind of friendship, hope this will not last till you set foot to your next milestone in life.

In addition to the 14 people of the household, they are the two women residing in the third floor. I’m not that very well accustomed to their real personalities or their lives but they were also kind to be with. They both showed us the big sisterly acts and gave us some helpful advises about certain inquiries on how to survive middle east 101. I have nothing much to say about them due to the stair that was keeping us socially distanced.  😆 😆 (Just kidding!) Moreover, I’m still glad that they have been great household members. 

Dianne (Sweety)

Of course, I better include myself as the 14th creature in the herd. I never contributed much back then, only I was the only girl who liked to fall asleep in the living room while the television was on. I was the movie down-loader, the one who’s flash drive remained attached on the TV and the (Tiktoker 😆) one who sings very loud in the living room. I told you guys I’m not that much memorable (haha). I was such a reserved person while being involved with them, hesitant at its finest and talking to unknown people was my complete dilemma. It was like being cast as one of PBB housemates ( a reality TV show). It’s true what they say, you’ll never know what you really are unless you’ll know how to sync and survive in a vast number of unrecognized people. Those two years I had spent with them was the most life changing, reality living and perky sorority I’ve had. 

There you have it! My very own pack of females. Hope you’ll take a good look on how inexplicably beautiful the photographs are (especially me  😆). I know this blog is a bit lengthy, you don’t know how concise I try to make it in describing each of them and still turned out having lots of words in it. Maybe co’z when there’s an interest in writing about certain stuffs or people, you just never ran out of words. I’ll attest to it.  🤘 If you just happen to see me right now, I’m still probably clicking on my keyboard, typing more words about this blog that will make it unending. Since I want to post this one and have my female leads read this, I better end it as gracefully as possible.  ✍️ ✍️ 😘

To these girls, the day we parted was not the end of it. We’ll get to see each other again in due course where some of us will be sharing their parenting lives, preggy moments, most serene weddings and many more exciting moments in this every day battle we call life. Just so you know, while writing this one, I had pressed the button to zap me back to those moments where we all took our first step in the villa and hurriedly chose each room and wander around in every corner of the house. And while being zapped, it’s like I never want to time travel again. All rooms were occupied, it was like the house was meant for us alone. I believe, wherever we’ll all gather up together, there’ll be again a full house where history will again repeat itself.  🏡 🏥

XOXO   ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

I'm the same anon from before. I should probably just make a tumblr at this point. I promise I won't bug you after this. When I lived in Saudi Arabia (as a teenage girl) the religion teacher said that famous hadith about the prophet telling his niece to cover up was actually weak. She was saying this to convince us that the only true way was to cover our faces and hands as well. I said, if it's weak, why should we even cover our hair and arms? She wasn't happy about that.

You’re not bugging me at all anon, I enjoy it when people give me the opportunity to rant. And hijab/niqab rants are always fun. But feel free to make an account and commiserate with the rest of us!

Much like ARTPOP, your hijab can mean anything. Many Saudi ladies wear niqab in the belief that that was the original intent behind the hijab commandment. Though there are always weird-ass niqab revivalist movements, full-body coverings were more common in the past than the present. It’s not too hard to see why. I mean… look at this thing.

Jesus. Regardless, you are correct that what Allah actually wants women to cover is very… vague in the Quran itself. Your head and chest, yes, that seems obvious enough… but what else? (Arms aren’t even specifically mentioned tbh.)

The specific wording of the ayat have been debated for centuries because many of the terms used are just really unclear, and terms used in the ahadith on this topic are also unclear. Khimar in pre-Islamic Arabia appears to have just been a loose head covering worn to shelter people from the sun; the ayah in An-Nur seems to tell women to drape their khimar across their necks and collarbone area instead of just letting it hang down their backs, which sounds very much like the modern conception of hijab. That ayah’s other demand, to conceal one’s “adornments” (zinatan), has a broad range of interpretations ranging from jewelry to beauty in general. The other one, in Al-Ahzab, uses the word jilbab (big loose robe type thing) and it’s a tricky one, because no one knows exactly what Mohammed meant by it. Were women supposed to just drape a large, shapeless robe over themselves, somewhat like an abaya (which is how most people think of “jilbab” now), or were they supposed to completely cover themselves with it, like a niqab?

Your teacher may have had a point in saying that Mohammed meant for women to fully cover themselves, even if the Quran doesn’t explicitly say that. But to figure this out we must dive into the hive of villainy and scum that is the ahadith.

First of all, we have this old classic, the one you’re talking about which defines the aurah as everything but the face and hands, meaning that niqab is not necessary.

Asma, daughter of Abu Bakr, entered upon the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) wearing thin clothes. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) turned his attention from her. He said: O Asma, when a woman reaches the age of menstruation, it does not suit her that she displays her parts of body except this and this, and he pointed to his face and hands.

It’s not actually weak, it’s sahih. It’s mursal… but that doesn’t impact whether it is strong or weak as long as all the narrators are reliable.

But we can ignore that and dive into the rest of the ahadith, since that’s what your teacher said to do.

There are ahadith like this one from Bukhari and this one from Abu Dawud that suggest that women actually made new garments upon “Allah” commanding them to cover up (in ayah 31 of An-Nur), instead of just using their existing scarves to cover more of themselves. The word in question in both ahadith,فاختمرن ‏ , is unclear. Many scholars believe it means they made face veils for themselves. Others say they just made khimars (headscarves).

But the pro-niqab interpretation is that it doesn’t make sense to believe that it “only” means that they made khimars to cover their hair, neck, and chest, because women would’ve just draped their scarves differently rather than made entirely new garments if that were the case.

As for the other ayah, about “lowering the jilbab”, we have this hadith saying that women looked like they had “crows on their heads” after it was revealed, and good lucking figuring out what the hell that’s supposed to mean. Does it just mean they were wearing black? Was it covering the top part of their face? We just don’t know.

There’s this other hadith about the jilbab in which Mohammed says that if you don’t have one handy, you have to share one with a friend of yours. Again, what does that mean? What does it look like to share a jilbab? Pulling a big cloth thing over your head, or both of you huddling under something that hides your whole body? We don’t know!

That’s why there is so much confusion over this topic. No one bothered to clarify a damn thing and talked in idioms whose meanings have long been forgotten, to the point that it’s hard to tell what the average women in Mohammed’s era actually dressed like. There are ahadith that make it seem like many women left their faces uncovered while perhaps only the upper-class women (like Mo’s wives) covered their faces. So maybe it was just a small minority thing, right? But then we know that Mohammed specifically said that women can’t fully cover themselves while in ihram, meaning a fair number did at other times!! Aaaaaa! Do you see what I mean about this being absurdly complicated?

I guess the best we can say here is that some women interpreted the command as “cover your faces”, while others did not, and Mohammed didn’t seem to say anything to either of them. He demanded women cover their head, neck, and chest, in addition to wearing a baggy outer robe that they pulled over their heads. And it seems many women went beyond that and covered their faces too, at least that’s the best I can do in interpreting the weird-ass ahadith about “crows on their heads” and shit. But we can’t say anything else for certain.

So I would personally say that while wearing hijab and a jilbab-style garment, something loose and flowy, is necessary, niqab is not obligatory. If Mohammed had wanted it to be obligatory, he should’ve clarified it. But it has still been one interpretation of the command to cover for a very, very long time. We know that many, and possibly the majority of early Muslims (at least in some places) interpreted as requiring niqab because it’s mentioned in historical sources, including the 801 AD Tongdian  by Du You of China, which states it’s from a Chinese captive from the Battle of Talas who lived in the Middle East around the 750s AD:

When a woman goes out in public, she must cover her face irrespective of her lofty or lowly social position. They perform ritual prayers five times a day. They eat meat, fast, and they regard the butchering of an animal as meritorious. 

To cap this off, I’d like to add that we know the specific occasion that made “Allah” demand women cover themselves. It’s…………. a lot.

As with many terrible things about Islam, the story of the clothing hijab (vs the whole curtain thing which is a separate tale) begins with everyone’s favorite sycophant, our friend the future Caliph Umar. Umar wants women, especially Mohammed’s wives, to be covered. He is practically obsessed with the idea, really. But Mohammed–I mean, “Allah”–is not demanding that the women cover themselves. Umar is very sad. And Umar has a plan to make Mohammed–I mean “Allah”–recognize the fact that the women really must be covered up. The story is recounted several places by Anas ibn Malik and Aisha, such as here and here in Bukhari:

Narrated `Aisha: The wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) used to go to Al-Manasi, a vast open place (near Baqi` at Medina) to answer the call of nature at night. `Umar used to say to the Prophet (ﷺ) “Let your wives be veiled,” but Allah’s Apostle did not do so. One night Sauda bint Zam`a the wife of the Prophet (ﷺ) went out at `Isha’ time and she was a tall lady. `Umar addressed her and said, “I have recognized you, O Sauda.” He said so, as he desired eagerly that the verses of Al-Hijab (the observing of veils by the Muslim women) may be revealed. So Allah revealed the verses of “Al-Hijab”

Sauda, who is large and tall, goes out to go to the bathroom. Umar is goddamn spying on her and calls out to her to embarrass her, saying “Hey! I see you taking a piss!!!”. She runs home, mortified, and tells Mohammed. The intended message to Mohammed was: “Hey Mohammed, I saw your giant wife pissing tonight. If only she were covered up from head to toe, maybe I wouldn’t have recognized her because she’d just, like, be a hunched-over anonymous blob. But I did see her, sorry bro.”

Mohammed is deeply concerned by this and accordingly Allah reveals the command for women to cover themselves around unrelated men. That means either niqab or something so baggy and shapeless that your body becomes impossible to see, depending on the interpretation.

I hate Umar so much. I should do a post about his dumb ass sometime.

Moral of the story, one of the initial interpretations of it was as a full covering but it was only because Umar was a dick. Don’t pay attention to Umar. Ameen.

A Christmas Prince

In Which Kate and Devin review Netflix’s new Christmas movie and utterly fail at avoiding spoilers.

Kate: So where do we start?! Devin: Pick a movie to talk about? Kate: Top of the list is Christmas Prince. It was terrible; from start to finish it was filled with cliches and things that didn't make sense Devin:  I liked the movie! Kate: You can like the movie that is fine. I enjoyed watching the movie? But only because it was so bad. Devin: I really like the izombie girl and she was super weird in this, almost soft spoken or something? Kate: She was weird, but she made it more enjoyable to me just because I like her. Devin: I would probably have been much less forgiving of this movie without her Kate: Prince was handsome, but I've already forgotten his name. Devin: Really? I thought he was eh. Kate: Not as handsome as in the next movie (spoliers!), but he was very princely I thought. Devin: I mean prince looked very british? But I don't find that attractive Kate: I guess I don't mean particularly attractive to me, but generically attractive. As in, I think more people would say he was very attractive than would say he was average. His acting was pretty blah though. His sister's hair was on point? Devin: Fair. She reminded me of the bitchy girl in willy wonka though. Kate: OMG, yes. She was very reminiscent of the bitchy girl. Devin: Was she the bitchy girl? Kate: I don't think she was? But definitely reminded me of her Devin: Hold on I am imdb-ing her Kate: Holding Devin:  Okay well searching “willy wonka and the chocolate factory” failed, because that is not the title. And you're right it's a totally different girl. Devin: Moving on, loved the queen lady, possibly because she's in it for all of 5 minutes. Kate: She was pretty good, very severe looking. But you could tell it was grief? (Spoiler: the king is dead) Devin: It's in the plot description, I don't think it's a spoiler. Kate: Oh is it? I didn't read the plot description. Devin: Also he's been dead for like a year Kate: Well fine Devin: No okay I lied. But it is revealed in like the first 10 minutes. Kate: It is a very major point in the plot. Kate: So actor choice I give it 8 christmas trees. Generally they all fit in and izombie girl made me willing to watch it. Devin: Yeah, out of 10 I'd say 8 is probably where I land too. Kate: Cool, consensus! Devin: I still really love that she has both family and friends and contacts them throughout the movie, like a normal person. Oh! And I liked that she called her boss to be like "hey, so, uh, what should I do?" Kate: That's true, the movie gets bonus points for concocting a real life around their protagonist. Devin: This is not a spoiler I don't think? But what the hell was with the scene where he saves her from wolves? Kate: Yes! That fit in nowhere? Wait, I mean, actually, when you think about how fast the plot moved, it progressed over only 2 weeks and ends with (Definitely spoiler) him proposing. Kate: Maybe attack by wolves was the instigating ‘falling in love quickly’ event? All the adrenaline? Devin: Oh yeah the timeline of this movie makes no sense. Also: how did she saddle and steal that horse if she was going to fall off so easy? Kate: How did she know how to ride a horse at all? Devin: Right? Kate: Clearly we are missing some important backstory here Devin: Was she from New York? Or do I just assume that's where all movie characters from a city live? Kate: I think the second, but I don't actually know where she was from. Her friend being super gay does suggest New York to me though.   Kate: Back to ratings, I'm going to give this one a low grade on Christmas-iness. I think the plot could have progressed absolutely the exact same way without being set over Christmas, using a birthday or something. I give it only 1 reindeer. Do they ever say how the King dies? Devin: I assume either illness or age… actually I feel like the king got cancer, but that could be 100% a lie. Kate: Doesn't matter because it’s not christmas related. Devin: Cold. Did you think the mom was old to have a daughter as young as Emily? I can't actually remember how old she looked. Kate: I really wondered about that. She looked a little old but my dad has a friend who got pregnant at 50, so physically it’s possible. And the sister was what, between 9-12? Devin: Probably Kate: So if mom was 55 in the movie that seems doable Devin: Ok. Also the king was a dick "hehe I will continue to lie to my only son about his parentage, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I AM DYING AND ALSO HE IS A GROWN ASS MAN AND IT AFFECTS THE POLITICS OF MY KINGDOM and then I will HIDE THIS VERY IMPORTANT LEGALLY BINDING DECREE to be found after my death and definitely for sure followed even though honestly no one has to listen to a dead guy. And the only hint they have is my shitty riddle poetry" Kate: I still very much doubt the legality of the paper "it has the king's seal on it" no thank you. That's not how I like my laws made Devin: Like doesn't he need that notarized or looked at by a council or some shit? Also, it's not even a decree, it just says "I love my son lots, just not enough to tell him the truth". Kate: And if he did, wouldn't that person have come forward when he died? So fucking weird, he was a dick, you're right. Devin: What modern day country is this anyway? Kate: A shitty European one. Devin: Like, fake country, yes. But I assumed they were using maybe England as a template or something. Kate: It seemed a little like they were. But a much smaller country than England? Devin: Are there still ruling monarchies? In real life? Kate: Yes? Saudi Arabia? Devin: Hmm, I don't know enough about Saudi Arabian law to determine if death bed messages hidden in acorns are legally binding. Kate: Well, one of their princes just murdered a bunch of their other princes, so probably not. Kate: Oh hey, apparently Monaco is a country that still has a ruling monarch. Devin: Huh Kate: There are others but I don't think we need to get into all that. Just go read the wiki people. Devin: I mentioned while I was watching, but I still resent her dramatic race to stop the coronation when she easily could have called the palace. Kate: You have cellphones! Use them! Devin: It would have saved at *least* half an hour. Kate: Trope! That goes in the trope category. I'm giving the plot like 2 eggnogs, maybe tropes like 4 jingle bells. Devin: Yeah the trope meter was off the scale in this movie. Kate: Like, I liked some of the tropes? Which is why it’s a little higher for me. But damn. All of them. Devin: Tropes can be good, they just threw a lot of them in there. Kate: They made a list of tropes and then made a movie around them. Devin: Clumsy female lead. Kate: Ugh. Hate that. Devin: "hehe oops, was this OBVIOUSLY EXPENSIVE VASE important?" Kate: Everything in a castle is expensive! Sick sister Devin: Mean kid just wants friendship. Kate: Ugh, the mean kid/friendship one is another pet peeve. Devin:  She goes from "I will kill you in your sleep" to "I trust you implicitly" in, like, a single scene. Kate: The sister warmed up to her in like 4 hours! That's not how it works! Have them bond over something silly right to begin with! Many movies do that well. Devin: If you need them to be friends for the plot, just don't make her mean to start! skip straight to friendship! Kate: Yes! Dead father. Dead mother Devin: Secret adoption Kate: Father who owns a restaurant that you have to go work at. Devin: Shaved his beard and suddenly she thinks he's hot Kate: Oh yes! Secretly not a playboy? Devin: Also he stole her taxi for seemingly no reason. Kate: I didn't really get that bit to be honest. Devin: Just to be a dick? Kate: Yeah, that was such a dick move. That was never addressed and she just forgave completely just because he's a prince. Devin: It's like they couldn't decide until halfway through if they wanted him to be nice or not. Also wanting to bone is not the same as love. Kate: Very true. It seemed like it just went on and on to me. I'd be like, surely this movie is wrapping up soon. And then it kept going. Devin: I definitely shouted at you "dear god look in the acorn!" for a solid hour of that movie Kate: You did. Over and over. You picked up on it the very first scene and you were cooking at the same time! Devin: It was so obviously a box! I have honestly no idea where she got the birth certificate from though. Or how bitchy love rival girl found it. I never learned her name Kate: Oh, so she literally just found the birth certificate in a desk at the lodge they went to after the wolves. It might have been a sort of secret compartment? But not very secret. Devin: lol what? Kate: And then bitchy rival girl searched her rooms. Devin: Rude Kate: Which was a huge invasion of privacy. Devin: If I was a secret reporter I would definitely lock that away. Kate: Right! They were like, spread out on her bed. Devin: Then again a 10 year old cracked her laptop password Kate: hahaha, I forgot that part, so dumb, just so dumb. Devin: She's honestly a terrible reporter Kate: Yeah, plot definitely only gets 2 eggnogs. I mean, she wasn't really a reporter. Devin: She sort of was? Kate: She was an editor who wanted to be a reporter. Devin: Yeah, fair. Kate: But clearly she was better at writing than reporting I would say. Devin: She did get the assignment. Kate: Cause no one else was available! Devin: What percentage of her getting that assignment was her boss hoping the prince would sleep with her? Kate: At least 75% Devin: "You lied your way into the palace? Goooooood. I stuffed some condoms in your luggage. No, no reason. Wink." Kate: OMG! Her boss was such a sleeze. Or at least it felt that way to me. Devin: I mean wasn't it a tabloid magazine? Kate: It must have been. Devin: iZombie was very naive. Kate: Soooooooo naive. How? She's an adult. Devin: A very sheltered adult. Kate: She works for a tabloid! Devin: Ok I think maybe it's final scoring time Kate: Ok, you wrap. Tell me how you feel? Devin: Probably a 3/10 for plot, 8/10 for actor choices, 4/10 for acting, uh, like 2/10 for Christmas-ness, 6/10 for ending? 2/10 for tropes? Kate: I think I’d go a little lower on the ending - 4 gift bags. It was pretty fucking weird, but it did end happy? And that's important in a christmas movie. Devin: It was weird, but I feel like I am very forgiving as long as it's happy. Split the difference and say 5? Kate: Sure, 5 gift bags. Devin: What would you give it overall? Kate: Overall it’s not a movie I would recommend unless you specifically like one of the following: the girl from izombie, movies about fake royal families or .... I can't think of a third thing Devin: Acorns Kate: Or acorns - if you really have a thing for super obvious plot devices, this movie is for you! Overall possibly 4 christmas's I suppose Devin: Aww, so low? Kate: Yeah, sorry. Devin: No you're fine. Kate: How many christmas's would you give the Christmas Prince? Devin: I was thinking a 6. Kate: I think 6 is perfectly acceptable. If you'd given it an 8 I would question. Devin: Never. Kate: Oh no! We forgot to judge the title! Devin: It's a terrible title. 0 sleigh bells. Kate: Yeah, 0 sleigh bells for the title. I think it was so we would realize it was supposed to be a christmas movie. Devin: Probably. The Christmas [Noun] is just so boring. Kate: The Christmas King would have made more sense? Devin: Hmm, I do like the Christmas King better. Kate: Because of the coronation plot line. That we didn't get into at all in this review. But whatever, go watch the movie. Devin: Yeah. Kate: You know it has something to do with acorns. Devin: Or don't watch it. Kate: Or don't.

Report 3: Gheto Boys

Al Batha appears to be one of the few places in Riyadh where the chaos of throbbing city life is free to spill out into the streets unmolested and untainted by any attempt to make things appealing. Maybe this is a kind of capitalism where the main impetus is just to get the thing for sale in front of the person who might buy it and to hell with making anything look nice. Consumer goods (Watches, shoes, cell phones, blankets, dates, pants, luggage, toys, tobacco, snacks, camping equipment, candy, coffee, jackets, t-shirts, etc., etc.) are all piled up in little shops, in large indoor malls and along mazes of alleys.

The crowds filling Al Batha are mostly South East Asian Muslim men from Bangladesh, India, Afghanistan and Pakistan and there’s also a large Filipino contingent. They all come here to socialize, buy cheap goods, get outside and shop in an environment that is accepting of everyone. The few Saudis you see are mostly around Al Batha taxi stand offering people rides to Makkah . The few women you see are beggars from poor Muslim countries and Filipino women out shopping with friends.

John Philby, the British Arabist and diplomatic aid to King Saud during the early formation of the Saudi State, wrote of Al Batha in 1959, “while, on the east bank of the Batha channel, a large suburb had grown up to meet the needs of a new element of the population, the chauffeurs and mechanics from many Muslim lands, attracted to Arabia by the high wages obtainable for their services, to say nothing of the unlimited opportunities of increasing their earnings by theft and peculation. To say the least, it was an unpleasant community, a running sore on the flank of a society which, at that time and at every level, was a model of good manners and moral rectitude. But facilis descensus averno! The Saudi Government has never been able to impose upon it that respect for law and order which is the hallmark of a civilized state.” I’d guess that many westerners still have the same attitude about Al Batha in 2019.

Today I found a Hindi cassette and DVD shop on the second floor of what I believe is called Al Batha Commercial Center Building. The shop is a cube with its walls covered in Tamali and Bollywood DVD covers. What drew my attention were the cassettes under the DVD covers. It seems that the shop had made a transition at some point, to DVD sales and rentals, but that someone had decided that this transition would best be served by simply stapling the DVD covers over the shelves that were already lined with cassettes.

The cassette selection covered the 1970s-early 1990s: Hemanta Mukherjee, Balamuralikrishna, Kader Khan comedy, compilations of 80s western love songs, old Bollywood sound tracks and an assortment of other tapes that looked as though they’d been moved from one geographical location to another for decades. I looked through most of them before I stumbled across The Gheto Boy’s Resurrection album, released in 1996 and considered to be one of their best. I felt a wonderful surprise at how things must circumnavigate the globe: Here in Riyadh, the home of fundamental Islam and the mutawa (The religious police), was a cassette of American hip hop, clearly marked with a parental advisory, on a shelf, for sale, in the heart of the city. For a moment I thought that I could probably be a better mutawa than most mutawa because of my knowledge of what might be seen as decadent from the west.

Lyrics from Still, the second song on the album: I seen the same nigga with the 9 die with his eyes open And simply what this means is He didn’t know that every dog had his day Until he seen his I bet you muthafuckas will too Because its “Die muthafucka, die muthafucka!” still, fool

I guess you can listen to Still as you’re crossing the pedestrian bridge in Al Batha. I think I could probably help the thought police.

Riyadh: Ancient and Modern Author(s): H. St. J. B. Philby Source: Middle East Journal, Vol. 13, №2 (Spring, 1959), pp. 129–141 Published by: Middle East Institute Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/4323104