#and i didn't have a hard time responding to their vibes / energy / signals at all which... is really really rare for me to happen | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starchild--27 · 1 year

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lol you know what, yesterday i went out with more than two people, as a group of friends/friend-ish people, for the first time in 3 years? 3 ½ years? that actually sounds so fucked up, but that's what my loner-tendencies did to me. and maybe the pandemic.

#we went to this huuuge bookstore we all love and spent hours in there #i even bonded with a person i had just met that day to a point where i was much less shy than usual and made silly jokes and all that-#i mean rn i am busy overthinking every social interaction that took place #but i am slowly realizing that i felt a lot less awkward than i usually would #because the people were really cool and friendly and nice and we kinda found a wave-length to communicate on very quickly #and i didn't have a hard time responding to their vibes / energy / signals at all which... is really really rare for me to happen #now queue: the desperate need of wanting to keep that connection up then the paralyzing fear of that being a one-time event #followed by the crippling insecurity of initiating contact myself #gosh does anyone else sometimes get that immensely strong urge to befriend someone?#like you really really really /really/ want to be friends with a person/a group? so much you're eyes get all teary?#yeah that's what will come next #random starchild noises

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