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diyunho · 7 years

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The Joker x Reader - “Operation Broken Twig”

You were trying to dust off the vaulted ceiling at the penthouse, fell off the ladder and broke your right ankle and left wrist. You’ll be out of commision for a while and The Joker is not sure what to do with you yet: being gentle and sympathetic are definitely not his strengths.

Almost 12 at night

You struggle to move your body closer to J in a pitiful attempt to cuddle. He just watches you squirm, not helping one bit, adamant in not scooting over. The proud recipient of a huge smug grin on his face.

“What?” you ask, panting from the effort when you finally reach your destination that was only a few inches away but took a lot of work due to your present misfortune.

“I’m plotting your murder, Doll, gotta put you out of your misery. You look so pathetic, just like a broken twig. What would be the best way to send you off to a better place, hm?” he pretends to debate, but you realize he’s probably 50% serious.

“No killing,” you yawn, placing your casted arm on his shoulder since you can’t really hug him.

“This thing is heavy, I don’t like it,” The Joker pushes your hand away. You whimper, discontent at his gesture.

“Don’t be mean to me, I am already very uncomfortable,” you remind him and bury your face in his neck, all needy and whiny for once. He’s not used to you like this because…well, nothing like this happened before.

“I was thinking to suffocate you with a pillow after you fall asleep, what do you think?” he pretends not to hear your words.

“No killing I said,” you pout and immediately smile when his arm goes around your waist. “Hey, baby, would you be sad if I’d die?” you inquire, curious to see what aberration he’ll come up with. He always has some smart ass answer.

“Maybe…” You elbow him. “Probably…” You start a fake cry on his shoulder. “Definitely…” he growls when you bite his skin “…NOT.”

“I know you’d miss me, don’t pretend,” you sniffle.

“Yeah, of couuurrseeee, how could I not miss such a huge pain in my butt?!” he sarcastically answers.

“Hey, are you rolling your eyes?”

“How did you know?” more sass comes your way, thanks to your boyfriend’s supporting attitude. J is a natural when it comes to this stuff. T__T

“I felt a soft breeze and I figured it must be from your fluttering eyelashes. Auuuchhh,” the laud spank you felt through the fabric of your boy-shorts make you scream. “Hey, that really hurt! I don’t need more pain!!!”

“Perfect, precisely what I was aiming for.” He is very satisfied with himself, you can tell by the tone in his voice. “Since we’re reached such a positive place right now…”

“A-ha,” you mutter, not convinced.

“…I was hoping we can have some fun. I’m in the mood!” he smacks his lips and you giggle, forgetting you were upset.

“Is there a day when you’re not in the mood, J?”

“No, not really. Come on, Y/N, Daddy wants you.”

“Hold on,” you fight to get on your elbow, because, you know, you’re in the mood also but was too lazy to do something about it. Plus, with a casted arm and ankle, it’s not the easiest. ”Stay where you are, I’m coming,” you huff, kind of rolling over and kind of crawling on top of him.

Man, this is more entertaining than any show, J laughs to himself, resting both hands under his head, just lying there, enjoying you straining so much and not doing anything to help. It won’t be fun if he does.

You finally manage to straddle him and take a deep breath, already tired. You begin to pull your tank top over your head with the good hand and your head gets stuck inside it. It’s really hard to do things with one arm.

“J…J…can you help me please? I’m trapped.”

“Naaahh, figure it out, Pumpkin,” he snickers and you get frustrated.

“Help me out! I can’t breathe,” you complain, pulling on the fabric but it won’t budge.

“Good, this way you can put yourself out of the misery and I won’t have to do anything,” The Joker laughs but helps you and now you’re free. “Why do you even wear clothes, Princess? Sleep naked like me, I’m ready to go at any time,” he points out.

“You know I usually sleep naked too, but now that I’m like this it actually feels more soothing wearing clothes, OK?” And you lean over to kiss him but he must say it:

“How are you going to take your underwear off, huh? I’m not helping you, do it yourself.”

“Oh, come on,” you sigh, flustered. “Stop being stubborn and help a woman in need, would you? I know you want to,” you wink, wishing you didn’t have to depend on his whims.

J pushes you off him and you land on your back, felling a sharp pain in your ankle.

“Hey, be gentle!” you admonish him, annoyed he’s so reckless.

“I am! I didn’t break another arm or leg, did I ??!! Be grateful I’m taking care of things,” he pulls on your boy-shorts, licking his lips.

“Taking care of things?!” you almost shout when he eagerly yanks them off you, tossing them to the side of the bed.

“You really look like a turtle on its back, compleeeeetely helpless. I really need to put you out of your misery,” he grins, creeping up on top of you, biting his way up to your neck.

“No killing,” you moan, accidentally resting your casted arm on his back, even if you know he hates it.

“Too heavy,” he mumbles and pushes it away. “Just use your other arm, Kitten, yes?”

“Yes, your Majesty, sorry to…Auuucchhhh,” you fret when you feel the skin burning under another spank.

“Ahhhh, so unfortunate you have an attitude when, in fact, you can’t afford to. I’m gonna punish you and there’s nothing you can do about it,” J closes his eyes for a few seconds, taking it all in, pleased to take revenge.

“Like…ummmm…what exactly are we talking about here?” you gulp, staring in his blue eyes that got darker at the mischievous immediate future he has in store for you.

“You should have worried about it before you opened your mouth Doll,” your boyfriend snarls, getting on his knees.

*******************

You hop using your crutches, determined to get on the scale. J lifts his head from his laptop, intrigued at your action. He’s in bed, enjoying a slow morning.

“What are you doing, Pumpkin?!”

“Weighting myself,” you inform him, balancing on the glass plate, waiting for the digits to show up.

“What for?!” J wants to know, intrigued.

But you don’t answer:

“Oh my God, I gained 5 pounds!” you cover your mouth in shock.

“So?” he narrows his eyes, not getting what the fuss is all about.

“I gained 5 pounds since last week!!” and it doesn’t make you happy to say the least.

“I don’t care, get over it; more for Daddy to love,” he chuckles, blowing his green hair off his face. He certainly doesn’t give a crap about this new issue of yours.

“I care!” you frown, worried. “It will be a while until I can take the cast off, what am I supposed to do?!? I can’t work out, I can’t really even walk…There is only one way I can burn calories right now,” and you glare at the Joker since he’s your only hope.

“Let me guess…” he nonchalantly chuckles. “More sex?”

You keep on nodding yes, desperate.

“Want me to land my services even more than I already do?”

More nodding, more despair.

“Wanna kill me, woman?!”

“No, I just wanna put you out of your misery,” you smirk, hoping back to the bed.

J starts laughing, pleased your quirky whit actually delights him most of the time.

“Come on, baby, take one for the team,” you beg, leaning your crutches against the nightstand, and using your fingers from the good hand to walk them down his abs, pouting in anticipation.

“You are soooo damn lucky I don’t want to kill you 100% of the time,” and you know you’ll have to listen to a very well put together speech, but you gotta if you want to reach your goal. He keeps on rambling: “I have murderous intents to each and single person I know or don’t know, but you…you’re unique: I only feel like killing you 90% of the time.”

“Woooww, you really know how to make a girl feel special J,” you praise him and the sarcasm in your voice is still evident.

Well, you never learn.

He lifts you up on the bed, dragging you in the middle of it, irritated.

“Well, little broken twig, since you obviously have a temper, let me give you a lesson you’ll never forget,” he rips your undies off, anger at your words.

“Does it involve sex…please?” you feel the need to check since it’s crucial for your general well-being.

“Yeah!” J shortly replies, trying to rip your bra but he can’t so he gives up.

“Thank heavens,” you smile, relieved. “Do you need help, baby?” you offer since you don’t want him to change his mind.

“I don’t need help from a helpless twig, I can manage just fine, got it?!” he covers your mouth, staring at you.

“Yes, your Majesty,” you muffle under his fingers. “Auuchhhh,” you whine when the slap is fast to follow.

“You asked for it!” he threatens, pulling you under him.

********************

J got bored so he started drawing and writing on the arm cast: “Batsy is a jerk” ,“I love mister J”( with a heart by it), “I can’t keep my mouth shut”, “I have the best boyfriend ever”, “King of sex,” and he keeps on scribbling. You don’t care; you’re just happy he’s preoccupied with something so you can play on your phone for a little bit.

“Jaaaayyyy,” you kiss his shoulder, avoiding looking at him.

“Hm?” J lifts his non-existent eyebrows, concentrating on his project.

“Baby, could you please go get me some things?”

“If you are sending me on a wild goose chase for tampons or something, the answer is NO!” J growls, adding “No tampons,” to your white cast.

“I’m good on that, I just need more comfortable underwear, bras and stuff from my boutique. Would you go get them for me? Pretty please?” you meow, blowing him a kiss.

He inhales, starting to get grouchy.

“Do I really have to?!”

“Please, I am so miserable with my poor broken limbs,” you play the weakling card. “I want to be comfy, baby, pleeaaseeeeeeeee,” you squeak and he sneers.

“Stop with the voice, it drives me nuts! I’ll go but I need to be rewarded and I am not thinking about a massage. Did I make myself clear, Princess?”

More nodding, more despair.

“Anything you want, I just need my things!”

*********************

“Illusion” boutique is your favorite. It belongs to one of Mister J’s business partners, the perfect cover-up for what they do behind closed doors. J is going there tonight after closing to roam around and get you what you want, taking a few henchmen with him, just in case. Not that he needs to pay or anything since it’s implied all is free for the King of Gotham and his girl.

The Joker texted his men an hour before departure: “Get ready to leave in 60- Operation Broken Twig.”

What the hell is Operation Broken Twig?! they all think, intrigued. But they know better than not to ask the burning question.

*********************

The Joker keeps on walking around, stopping in front of a panty display.

“Which ones, Doll?” he points his cell towards the hangers so you can see everything on the camera.

“ Ummm…I want hipsters, size medium, about 7 pairs, the ones with flowers, please.”

“Which ones are the hipsters, Pumpkin?!” he gets aggravated seeing so many styles.

“The ones that look kind of low cut,” you explain, wishing he would keep calm for the rest of his shopping spree. “They have the purple flowers.”

“Then why don’t you say so, Doll, hm?!” he snaps, grabbing a bunch of undies and stashing them in his duffel bag.

“Can you also get me some boy- shorts?”

“Which ones are the boy-shorts, Y/N?!” He’s getting mad.

“The kind I am wearing at night for now,” and it displeases him.

“They all look the same to me!!!” he barks and you sigh.

“The ones with pink flowers and all behind are boy-shorts, baby,” you explain and it’s no use, of course.

J stashes some in his bag again. You try the waters, somewhat nervous:

“Can you also take some briefs with you? The ones with green flowers.”

His mouth opens, speechless. He grabs a pair with only two fingers, disgusted:

“Why in the world they used so much fabric on this one?! Looks like a tent! They could make 50 pairs of the G-strings I like on you, Y/N!!”

“Well, they are very cozy and I need them,” you make a comeback but his stubborn ass won’t have any of it.

“There is NO way you’re wearing this style while I’m still breathing!!!” he tosses the garment to the ground, kicking it with his shoe.

For God’s sake! but can’t vociferate your feelings. At least he’s getting most of what you wanted.

“I need some bras, can you grab the matching ones with my underwear please?”

“What size?” he coldly replies.

“34G.”

He looks through them and begins to toss items in the bag. Of course he’s picking the skimpiest he can find.

“Not those, J! I need the comfortable ones, full cup and minimizers!” you plead, alarmed he’s not listening.

“Minimizers?! Why would you want a minimizer for?!” he rants, actually searching for one. “Daddy wants to see those babies!” he confesses, irked.

“Due to my present condition, I must…”

“Holy Batman!” he blurs out when he finds the bra. “No way you’re wearing this huge thing! My woman can’t be seen with this, not while I’m still breathing!” he drops it to the ground, outraged and steps on it.

You want to cry right now.

“Can you at least get me some sports bras?!” you raise your voice, agitated.

“Sports bras?! You can’t even work out for a while, having sex with me is the most you can do. And I don’t want to see a flipping…” he finds the right tag, reads it and calms down. “Oh, this is a sports bra?! Not too bad, this pink will look good on you,” he concludes, stuffing more colors in the duffel bag.

You lean back on your chair, relieved. Thank goodness, Holy Batman and whoever else.

**********************

“Shit, I gained 3 more pounds,” you scream at the scale, almost tipping over from the revelation of the electronic numbers under your feet.

“Want me to put you out of your misery?” your boyfriend volunteers, aiming his gun at you with one eye closed. “Bang!” he pretends to shoot, but you are aware he contemplates it.

“No, baby, all I need is your services, obviously,” you give him a puppy gaze, jumping on your good leg towards the bed.

“Again?! You already needed my services three times today Kitten!” he scratches his head, placing the gun under the pillow.

You show him his own writing on the cast: “King of sex.”

“You have to help me!!! You really have to! Three more pounds!!!” you swallow the lump in your throat.“It’s imperative you take one for the team!” “Hmmm, I guess I can…But I am in the mood for crazy stuff and I don’t mean a massage, understand?” he bites your finger when you caress his lips.

More nodding, more despair.

“Yeah, I don’t care, just do it!”

“Happy to oblige then,” he grins, pushing you on the bed and you feel discomfort in your broken ankle and wrist from the impact.

“Hey, be careful!” you whimper, wiggling under him.

“Oh, my, did I break something else?” he fakely sulks, worried…NOT.

“I swear I’m going to leave you when I get better if you don’t…” you mutter, but…

“I’m sorry??!?” he violently takes your t-shirt off, not liking what he hears.

You never learn.

“I planned to be as gentle as possible and I am not the type, but now, I’ll have to punish you again,” and the wide, eerie smirk on his face makes you gulp.

“Does it involve sex…please?”

“Yeah! Duh, I know you have to burn your calories,” he pins your good hand above your head and you sigh, grateful.

Thank goodness, Holy Batman and whoever else.