potato is love, potato is life- local hell woman gives potato to her angelic future wife

Charlie: “I don’t think I should be allowed to interact with women ever again.”

Husk: “Is this about Vaggie giggling over a fucking potato earlier-”

Charlie: “OH IT’S ABOUT THE POTATO ALL RIGHT! WHY THE FUCK DOES THE PHRASE ‘apple of my eye’ EVEN EXIST IN THE SAME UNIVERSE WHERE ‘earth apple’ IS ANOTHER WORD FOR POTATO??? WHY DO PEOPLE CALL THE STUPID SPROUTY THINGS ON POTATOES ‘eyes’????? CREATION IS STUPID! IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!!”

Husk: “Did you fucking give her the potato.”

Charlie: (slumping) “I was trying to be romantic-!”

Husk: “Did you call HER your potato.”

Charlie: “THE POTATO OF MY HEART! The tuber of my root sprout!”

Husk: “Oh fuck. Shit, that’s. That’s terrible. You really shouldn’t fucking talk to women anymore.”

Charlie: (sobbing) “I WAS TRYING!!! TO BE SWEET!!!!!”

Angel Dust: “-hey gays m’kay, real fucked up question for ya both but- anyone know why Vag G-string is makin’ soppy doe eyes at an uncooked tater tot?”

Husk: “It’s because she’s almost as much of fucking fail loser as her girlfriend, is why.”

Charlie: (sniffs) “She. You think she likes it…?”

Angel Dust: “Charlie chip, she’s starin’ at the damn thing like it’s her first born child.”

Charlie: “Oh…”

Charlie: “…”

Charlie: “Unholy shit…. I am so GOOD with women-”

Husk: “No. No you’re fucking not. It’s just her.”

Charlie: “Well she’s the only one who counts so that’s perfect!”

Angel Dust: “Oh please don’ tell me you gave her the potato-”

Charlie: “BE RIGHT BACK IM GONNA GO GET HER ANOTHER ONE!!!”

Husk: “NO-!”

iasip s3 rated by macdennis content

The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby: Dennis chides Mac for littering and not caring about the environment... Mac agrees to check out the global warming movie he watched bc Dennis kept talking about it even though everyone else was annoyed by it... they really are in love huh. 5.5/10

The Gang Gets Invincible: Mac and Dennis decide to try out for the Eagles because they want to figure out who’s the better football player. “Lincoln Field, baby!” This should be a generic ‘Two Bros Compete Over Sports Thing’ plot but Mac and Dennis are like... really gay about it. They mock Dee together for wanting to try out too and they’re being very misogynistic but the way they laugh at her is so cute. Mac leans in very closely to Dennis’ face when talking about how Dee could embarrass them in terms of running stamina. Mac and Dennis have a whole conversation with their dicks out as they stand over the Lincoln Field and Mac looks at... he looks at Dennis’ dick and asks him if he’s done peeing. And Dennis says no because Mac standing next to him and talking to him makes him nervous,,, okay,,, Mac and Dennis bicker over Mac’s makeup skills and Dennis’ cheekbones. Mac and Dennis sit together on the bus. They’re cutely excited about getting to see Donovan McNabb (even though they don’t) and they’re both... so bad at running. We stan unfit losers who cant even run for ten minutes!! “I liked your form on that, and I liked how you went before the whistle.” “Goddamn right!” “Nice!” Jesus Christ do these two even remember they’re supposed to be competing? Dennis essentially verbally sucked Mac’s dick for tackling his sister and told him he liked his FORM I know I quoted that but like... y’all seeing this... Also can we talk about how Dennis had this running monologue going on while he was running in the field to catch a football was this: “I’m going to make Mac look so bad. My form is perfect–“ like why is Mac always his first thought like it came before his narcissistic thoughts AND his throwaway comp het thought... sigh... 9/10

Dennis and Dee’s Mom is Dead: Mac and Dennis not realizing how gay they are is so fucking funny... Mac banging everyone’s sister but also calling them gross? Comp het rights! Dennis talking to men trying to invite them over to their party is literal actual flirting and he is so stupid for it. “Bro, aw, I just had the most perfect blonde guy slip right through my fingers. I mean, I had him in the palm of my hand and then... he was gone, you know what I mean? I mean, this guy would have been perfect for you. What’s up with this beefcake? Is he coming to the party, or what?” I can’t believe Dennis told Mac this. This sounds literally like they’re gays trying to find love in this world. Give me a break maybe!! Mac and Dennis having no idea that they were waving around a dick flyer that they literally cut themselves is peak metaphor for how in denial about their sexualities they were. Mac and Dennis get up to PEAK gay activity during their party because of how excessively Dennis touches Mac, he literally says “oh yeah, baby, nice one!” when Mac punches a glass frame, breaking it, and taking a random apple and biting into it. He’s so proud of Mac for the dumbest of shit. “You’re gonna tell everybody how we’re like those guys from Jackass, how we like to smash stuff and shove shit up our asses.” “That’s right! You’re gonna get so much shit shoved up your ass tonight!” Oh my god? Oh my god! Nothing says love like throwing knives at college students and basically putting them through emotional and physical torture! That’s just how it is! The symbolism and just everything in this episode pushes this up to a shocking 8.5/10

The Gang Gets Held Hostage: “Come here, come here, come here! I think I got a plan to get us out of this, but I need you to do the destroying thing. Can you?” “I’m a great destroyer.” “Are you kidding me, dude? You’re a born smasher.” “Yes! I’m a born smasher.” “I’m gonna work a different angle with the girl.” “Work those pecs.” “Yeah, exactly.” “Bump it.” “All right.” “Dennis.” “What?” “I love you.” 9/10

The Aluminum Monster Vs. Fatty McGoo: The whole “Dennis has an announcement!” scene is so cute and so funny. Other than that though, Mac and Dennis don’t get up to much, but Dennis does lie to him about dress orders which pushes Mac into Frank’s arms where he learns how to run a sweatshop. 4/10

The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation: Dennis wearing Mac’s duster with no shirt and the way Mac was staring at him? Good shit! 7/10

The Gang Sells Out: Mac and Dennis both somehow managed to get each half of Charlie’s shares in the bar. Charlie gets confused between ‘wood’ and ‘wooed’ and when Dennis tries to explain it to him Mac gives him a little “Dennis, just...” and Dennis goes “It’s a waste of time?” and like. That’s just really domestic of them actually. 6/10

Frank Sets Sweet Dee On Fire: Nothing v specific here but Mac calls Dennis a ‘club kid’ which is cute. 2/10

Sweet Dee’s Dating A Person: “You do have a great voice. You have, you know what man? You have an excellent voice.” The look of absolute BETRAYAL Dennis gives Mac when he doesn’t let him be in his band... wow. “We need a new front man.” “Right. You want someone with a good voice.” “Yes.” “Who’s attractive.” “Yes.” “Someone with charisma.” “Yes.” Somehow they both bottomed in this scene and Dennis wearing glasses is so fucking stupid. This episode would’ve gotten a perfect score if Mac didn’t kick Dennis out of the band for having slutty hips. Mac, those slutty hips are everything you’ve ever wanted in life. Wake up. 9.5/10

Mac is a Serial Killer: Dennis seems to REALLY take notice when it comes to Mac’s comings and goings from the apartment... His reactions to Mac getting laid seems like fake enthusiasm to me :/ 3/10

Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender: “Listen, I need your help, okay? You’re part owner of the bar, and you’re probably the only person that Mac listens to, and I need you to talk to him.” God Dee really out here knowing the truth huh. She really out here knowing everything, huh? 7/10

The Gang Gets Whacked Part 1: Mac and Dennis the cute little work couple who tries to fix the electricity and both having differing but wrong opinions about how to do it! Mac and Dennis the cute little work couple who ditch work to sit outside their bar in lawn chairs and drink beer together! Mac and Dennis the dumbass work couple who can’t understand the things people say to them because they drink a lot! 9/10

The Gang Gets Whacked Part 2: Mac slaps Dennis and rescues him from his life of prostitution. Wow that’s like a line straight from a very weird mafia AU. 7/10

Bums Making a Mess All Over the City: The way Dennis looks at Mac when he says “In fact, Special Agent Bauer and I plan to take care of a few things today...” Mm... Conspiring with your boyfriend and twin sister while holding your cat as you plan to take down your dad truly is the life huh. 5/10 because it was a great fucking look

The Gang Dances Their Asses Off: One of the most ridiculous things in this episode is the fact that Frank ranked Dennis and Mac second and third best after himself. Some other ridiculous things? Mac and Charlie’s talk about Mac’s... cream... which led to Mac saying this golden line “I’m always putting my cream all over his face.” Mac and Dennis have a dance off where Mac mimes himself sucking Dennis off. Repressed rights! It’s a crime that we didn’t get to see Mac and Dennis slow dance this episode, but still I’m gonna give it a 10/10, especially because Dennis and Mac had 25 pound kegs hanging off their chests and Dennis said “Come on, man! Give me some of that liquid hydraulic shit!” it sounds dirty somehow, anyway, Dennis wrapped his arms around Mac and they both fell to the ground. Very sexy.