This two and a half hour long video by People Make Games is probably the most comprehensive and balanced look at the whole controversy. It's a tough watch at times, but I think it's an important piece of journalism that will hopefully allow for a more nuanced discussion.

Some thoughts about Octavian's overly villification

In HoO Octavian is presented as nothing more than an antagonist, an annoyance the characters need to deal with, overcome to achieve their goals. And this is fine, Octavian is not liked about the main cast and often presents himself as an obstacle for the goal, of course the narration will not frame him well. However, I do have a problem with how this writing made him seen unreasonable all the time and acted like he was only being mean and an antagonist for the sake of it. I have this problem especially when it is Roman characters didn't even thought about the complexity of the situation, as Octavian was overall trying to protect/revenge Camp Jupiter. And this exaggerated villification led to this place where you shouldn't try to look closer to Octavian because he was nothing more than a bad person.

This post is about how what we are told doesn't match what we are shown, specially considering the context of Octavian's actions.

To look closer to this problem within the narrative and how I think this antagonization was exaggerated I chose a scene from House of Hades, when Rachel and Grover go ask Reyna's help., very fitting as it is from Jason's pov.

Let's start with the fact that normally when it is about Octavian, we have him, the bad mean antagonist, at least a good Roman -in this case Reyna- the Greeks, our good guys, and then the rest of the Romans who are just the crowd without personallity. They stay quiet most of the time, but take every chance to turn against Octavian, but are also there to shown how good he is at manipulation (the dining scene in mark of athena is a perfect example).

Now to the scene in question.

One of the first things Jason does is describe how complicated the situation is, but not to the Romans or the possible upcoming war between Greeks and Romans, but mostly in regards of his relationship with Reyna.

"He’d disappeared, leaving her to run the camp on her own. (Okay, that hadn’t exactly been Jason’s idea, but still ...) Then he had returned to Camp Jupiter with his new girlfriend Piper and a whole bunch of Greek friends in a warship. They’d fired on the Forum and run away, leaving Reyna with a war on her hands."

I think this already doesn't set a good look for the Greeks, but there are some context missing in this quick description of events.

What happened was that this Greek kid, remembering that the Greeks are long enemies with the Romans, appeared out of nowhere in the camp right in time to stop a tragedy, attracked the attention of two gods that appeared - extremely rare occurance in cj - which could be either a good or bad sign, then after one week which he spent more time away from the camp he managed to become praetor becuase he stopped the tragedy. After that he convinced the Romans to let the Greeks stay and promised that if anything went wrong he would fight by the Roman's side, but nothing would go wrong. The Greeks fired, this Greek kid didn't fight in the Roman's side and run away with the Greeks.

Why on Earth would the Roman's trust or be kind with the Greeks after all that? I have no idea.

So this is the full context and considering it, the way Octavian greets Rachel and Grover is very understandable and the narration recognizes how messy the situation is right?

"Octavian snorted. ‘That’s the only reason you made it this far alive, Graecus. I hope you’ve come to discuss surrender terms.’ ‘Octavian ...’ Reyna warned. ‘At least search them!’ Octavian protested. ‘No need,’ Reyna said, studying Rachel Dare. ‘Do you bring weapons?’"

Apparently no... it becomes clear by Reyna, our good Roman, that Octavian's actions and feelings are not acceptable. He is obviously presented as the Roman behaving badly, by the Greeks, Reyna and the narratioin.

"Octavian sneered. ‘Another friend of Percy Jackson. That’s all I need to hear.’"

This line is set up to just put us against Octavian, but remember the context, Percy was a key factor to New Roman being fired and Octavian seems to be the only one to care.

‘So far, our guests speak the truth,’ Reyna said.

Look how nice and non threatening the Greeks are being and how Octavian is overreacting.

"Reyna handed him the letter."

Just like how Octavian is more than annoyance in this scene, he is also an authority there. Not above Reyna, but to be respected and whose opinion has weight or should have at least.

"He looked around in outrage, as if waiting for someone to contradict what he was reading. ‘A Greek trick! Greeks are infamous for their tricks!’"

I like how Octavian can't be shocked and everything he does needs to be up to stage, a performance. A Greek sent a letter from Tartarus demanding Reyna to give the Parthenos to end up a war that the Greeks started but Octavian can't have a genuine reaction.

"'Look, we wouldn’t have risked coming here if we didn’t trust Annabeth’s instincts. A Roman leader returning the most important Greek statue to Camp Half-Blood – she knows that could prevent a war.’ ‘This isn’t a trick,’ Rachel added. ‘We’re not lying. Ask your dogs.’ The metallic greyhounds didn’t react. Reyna stroked Aurum’s head thoughtfully. ‘The Athena Parthenos ... so the legend is true'"

First of all, we know Grover and Rachel aren't lying, they truly believe the letter is from Annabeth, but what proves it is? Just because someone believes in something this doesn't make it true.

Also how returning the Athena Parthenos would prevent the war if the war started because the Greeks fired New Rome?

When Octavian mentions a trick, it is not only about the Trojan war, it is also about Percy, Annabeth, Piper.

"‘Reyna!’ Octavian cried. ‘You can’t seriously be considering this! Even if the statue still exists, you see what they’re doing. We’re on the verge of attacking them – destroying the stupid Greeks once and for all – and they concoct this stupid errand to divert your attention. They want to send you to your death!’ The other Romans muttered, glaring at their visitors. Jason remembered how persuasive Octavian could be, and he was winning the officers to his side."

Is Octavian wrong though? Again, Greece and Italy are forbidden for Romans and extremely dangerous places for demigods. They are really about to revenge their city and this message is suspiciously convenient. The praetor of the Romans is asked to go away to a mission that for some nonsensical reason will stop the war right before the Romans are to attack.

And remember what I said before about the other Romans? They are there just for us to know how manipulative Octavian is. He has no real interest in the well being of the Romans or in the situation besides his unreasonable hate for the Greeks. He is just an antagonist for the sake of being one. Why make things so difficult for the Greeks if they are being so nice and honest? (there was sarcasm in this paragraph)

"‘It’s your decision,’ Rachel said, as if nothing had happened. ‘I have no specific prophecy to offer you, but I can see glimpses of the future. I see the Athena Parthenos on Half-Blood Hill. I see her bringing it.’ She pointed at Reyna. ‘Also, Ella has been murmuring lines from your Sibylline Books –’ ‘What?’ Reyna interrupted. ‘The Sibylline Books were destroyed centuries ago.’ ‘I knew it!’ Octavian pounded his fist into his palm. ‘That harpy they brought back from the quest –Ella. I knew she was spouting prophecies! Now I understand. She – she somehow memorized a copy of the Sibylline Books.’ Reyna shook her head in disbelief. ‘How is that possible?’ ‘We don’t know,’ Rachel admitted. ‘But, yes, that seems to be the case. Ella has a perfect memory. She loves books. Somewhere, somehow, she read your Roman book of prophecies. Now she’s the only source for them.’ ‘Your friends lied,’ Octavian said. ‘They told us the harpy was just muttering gibberish. They stole her!'"

There is a lot to unpack here.

First, yes Rachel said she has this glimpses of the future, but she hasn't said what those glimpses mean to the Romans. It will end the war, but how? At what cost? What it will make to the Romans? How it will affect them? We have no idea. As far as we know this glimpses could be confirmations that it was a Greek trick.

Second, why would they trust the Greeks if they were aware of how important the Sybilline Books were for the Romans and then proceed to lie about Ella knowing them and made an effort to take the only source of them out of their hands? At every act is like they are trying hard to not be perceived as trustworthy by the Romans.

Is Octavian exaggerating? Is he just being antagonistic for the sake of it?

Again my problem is not that the characters don't like him or take him as an obstacle but it is how he is not allowed to be anything more and how it poorly reflects on how the situation is being handled.

It is also very curious how Reyna is okay and not mad at all during this scene. Why? Her home was attacked! The person she chose as her partner betrayed her! Her enemy is with an important part of her culture! They are asking her to go away right before an attack!

"'She wants me to bring this statue from the ancient lands to your camp.’ Rachel nodded. ‘Only a Roman can return it and restore peace.'"

But why Reyna specifically? suspicious...

"‘And why would the Romans want peace,’ Reyna asked, ‘after your ship attacked our city?’ ‘You know why,’ Rachel said. ‘To avoid this war. To reconcile the gods’ Greek and Roman sides. We have to work together to defeat Gaia.’ Octavian stepped forward to speak, but Reyna shot him a withering look. ‘According to Percy Jackson,’ Reyna said, ‘the battle with Gaia will be fought in the ancient lands. In Greece.’"

Rachel doesn't provide a good answer. This attack is also about revenge and how would the Romans asking pardon by this gesture would solve a war that again stared with the Greeks firing New Rome? It doesn't make sense.

Interisting that our good Roman Reyna stops Octavian the only person to ask resoanable questions and to defy the illogic of the Greeks to speak. It is almost like she is at the Greeks side not the Romans.

"'Speculation,’ Octavian said. ‘A distraction. The Greeks fear our attack. They’re trying to confuse us. It’s the Trojan Horse all over again!’ Reyna twisted the silver ring she always wore, with the sword and torch symbols of her mother, Bellona. ‘Marcus,’ she said, ‘bring Scipio from the stables.’

'Reyna, no!’ Octavian protested. She faced the Greeks. ‘I will do this for Annabeth, for the hope of peace between our camps, but do not think I have forgotten the insults to Camp Jupiter. Your ship fired on our city. You declared war – not us. Now, leave.’"

This definetly looks like a distraction, half baked answers that don't answer anything.

I also think it is interisting how Octavian is "power hungry" and apparently does anything to have more power, but begs for Reyna to stay and continue to be a leader.

It is almost like he is not tha selfish/s.

If they declared war, why go in this stupid mission? Why Octavian is portrayed as so far away from reason?

"After they had retreated back down the stairs, Octavian wheeled on Reyna. ‘Are you mad?’ ‘I am praetor of the legion,’ Reyna said. ‘I judge this to be in the best interest of Rome.’ ‘To get yourself killed? To break our oldest laws and travel to the ancient lands? How will you even find their ship, assuming you survive the journey?"

All good points and Octavian is clearly worried about Reyna, but the narrative treats as just him being against our good heroes.

"‘This is insanity,’ Octavian muttered. ‘We’re already under attack. We must take the offensive! Those hairy dwarfs have been stealing our supplies, sabotaging our scouting parties – you know the Greeks sent them.’ ‘Perhaps,’ Reyna said"

it is so interisting how Reyna always has good faith and believe in the Greeks when all evidence points out she shouldn't and is portrayed as good because of it. Meanwhile Octavian rightfully distrusts the Greeks and it just this annoying villain trying to prevent the war to end when he is actually defending what were supposed to be Romans' interests.

I don't know how to make conclusions so I'm gonna end my post here. I just hope I was able to make my point clear.

Everything you need to know about Daniel in Life is Strange 2

As we approach the #JourneysEnd, we wanted to take some time to deep dive on one of Life is Strange 2's most important, but also most misinterpreted systems. We hope that this added insight will help guide you in your decision making as you start Life is Strange 2 either for the first time or on a repeat playthrough.

As you may know, choices and their consequences in Life is Strange 2 are centered around your brother: Daniel. What we purposefully haven't outlined properly to date is the depth of this system or how it actually functions as we believe a Life is Strange is best experienced purely rather than trying to game the system underlying it. Quite often we will see players deconstruct the outcome of a Life is Strange 2 episode using the choice and consequence system of previous games: "If you choose these specific three or four options you should get outcome X". Today we wanted to take some time to explain that interpreting Life is Strange 2 solely through that kind of system can only lead to confusion.

Before we get into the new system underlying Life is Strange 2 though, know that each entry in the season does have episode-specific consequence systems that conform to the more traditional choice and consequence approach. Your relationships with secondary characters, for example, are often based on the branching that you've come to expect from a Life is Strange game. If you work hard to build a specific relationship, that character's attitude towards you may change significantly which in turn will open or close off options that determine the fate of these characters.

With respect to Daniel however, the system has added layers of complexity. From what we've seen so far, Daniel's education is believed to rely on a "one-track" model similar to the one described above. That is to say that you can, for example, only teach Daniel to either be "Good" or "Bad" and that only certain key decisions will affect his education by nudging him towards becoming either a good or an evil person. The truth, however, is that Daniel grows and learns from your example based on two separate values: Morality and Brotherhood. • Daniel's Morality state determines how he acts in any given situation. Does he act in a kind and considerate way, or is he entirely selfish, without regard for other people's feelings or safety? • Daniel's Brotherhood state determines how he responds to what you, as Sean, teach and ask of him. Does he trust you to make the right choice for the two of you, or will he disregard what you say because you've been unable to win his trust?

Here's the thing: the choices you must make in Life is Strange 2 are, like in other Life is Strange games and life in general, imperfect options. There is no true “right” or “wrong” decision, and all of them are laced with their own pros and cons that could contain a sting in the tail.

While some decisions may improve Daniel's Morality, those same choices can have a negative impact on his trust in you, and vice versa. There are some choices that may add to both Morality and Brotherhood, just like there are others that may reduce them both, or only impact one while leaving the other unaffected. You will have to weigh up each option for yourself and decide which outcome will be better for your personal Diaz brothers.

It’s also key to note that opposing choices aren't just mirrors of one another. That is to say, choosing option A, which may award an increase in Morality, doesn't mean that option B will reduce Morality by the same amount. Each choice is weighted individually and entirely on its context. Choosing the opposite of a choice that would have affected Daniel's Brotherhood and trust may not impact his Brotherhood either negatively or positively.

In the diagram below we’ve outlined a small number of hypothetical examples of how this concept functions – please note that the diagram and the choice examples are purely for illustrative purposes and are not present in Life is Strange 2. The diagram is also greatly simplified as it has been trimmed down to just 5 examples rather than the multitude of choices that play into determining the consequences you will experience.

Choice 1: Sean reminds Daniel that stealing is wrong, in every situation, and refuses to take money from an unattended wallet. Choice 2: Sean ‘borrows’ a can of cola from a store, to quench Daniel’s thirst, and promises he’ll send the store a couple of dollars in the mail when they get some money. Choice 3: Sean stays up late entertaining Daniel with bedtime stories, with wholesome morals, staving off his nightmares and helping him sleep through the night. Choice 4: Sean shoots a potential kidnapper in the arm with the man’s own gun, in order to save Daniel. Choice 5: An angry Sean blames Daniel for having to shoot the man.

While major choices will have a greater impact on Daniel's education overall, the lessons they teach him can still be outweighed by the many smaller choices you may make throughout your journey and the example you set. You can't choose to only be righteous when it counts, if that’s what matters to you. You have to be an example to Daniel in everything you do and say.

This is also why certain playthroughs result in different outcomes, even though players may have made the same major choices as their friends and other players. These outcomes are likely down to choosing differently in a series of smaller choices.

To date, Life is Strange 2 has featured over 50 individual choices that have pushed Daniel towards becoming moral/amoral and/or trusting/not trusting of Sean. This is what we mean when we say, “everything you do will have an impact on Daniel.”

You have so far had 50 opportunities to mold Daniel into the kind of person you want him to become - 16 of those already appearing during Episode 1. Each opportunity and decision will have stacked on top of the others, to cumulatively determine which outcome you see at the end of each episode, and which endings (that’s right, we heard you!) will be available to you at the end of the game. This additive system means that a single save file will not be able to see every single outcome of Life is Strange 2 as you will not be able to simply reload and re-pick one or two choices in order to see all other endings.

You will also notice that Daniel's moment-to-moment behavior throughout the season also subtly changes depending your choices. Some of those subtleties will be evident in his general behavior, interactions with Sean and other characters as well as the words he uses. Others become apparent through the "look at" cues you can investigate that relate to Daniel and what Sean thinks of him. 

As Daniel becomes the person you are teaching him to be, his learned state of mind will also open up or close off some bigger and smaller decision options that you are given. There are cases throughout the episodes where you may try to interact with Daniel in a particular way, but he refuses to listen or accept your advice or help. That refusal may mean that what you’re trying to teach him may not have the same impact as if he had accepted it. This is because your previous choices have reinforced and compounded themselves as you proceeded through the story of Life is Strange 2. This is particularly visible if you have a sudden change of heart or feel strongly about a certain decision that may not align with what you’ve taught him so far.

Each time the little wolf icon is highlighted, your decision will have had an impact on Daniel

Daniel's Morality and Brotherhood values aren't just on a 0-100 scale either. It is entirely possible for Daniel's values to dip into negative numbers, which is when players will truly start to see Daniel's dark side.

There is absolutely some truth to the idea that if you end up with a Daniel who is entirely misbehaved, never listens and doesn’t trust Sean… then that’s a direct result of you choosing to raise Daniel in that way.

The ultimate outcome of the Life is Strange 2 story reflects the accumulation of all your previous choices with regards to Daniel. His actions and demeanour are determined by what you taught him throughout the season, in interactions big and small. This will be important, particularly when he reaches a point where he may well assert his independence and start making big decisions of his own.

We have purposefully not gone into exact details about which choices impact Daniel's education, or to what extent, as we want you to experience Life is Strange 2 using your own personal feelings about right and wrong as a guide, rather than trying to ‘build’ a specifically good or evil and obedient or rebellious Daniel. Choices, just like in real life, can be messy and are rarely clear-cut. You will often need to make peace with what you feel is best for the Diaz brothers as they journey towards Puerto Lobos. We've outlined a few examples to explain the system a little bit more on our official Youtube Channel (you can also watch it below), though this video will include spoilers. We’ve structured the video in a chronological manner so that you can view it up until the spoiler warnings for an episode you haven’t yet played to avoid getting spoiled. If anything at all about what we covered in this blog was confusing, the video at the bottom of this blog will be sure to help!

We're now just under a month away from the full release of Life is Strange 2 and are looking forward to hearing whether knowing more about how Daniel is taught changes how you approach the game in the weeks of the #JourneysEnd that lie ahead.

DevLog 14 - Group Pathfinding

On and off for the last 5 years I’ve worked to improve grouped unit movement in an RTS-style game called The Maestros. As Dave Pottinger pointed out almost 20 years ago after his work on Age of Empires, the “pathfinding” part of movement gets all the attention, but making dozens of units follow a path intelligently is at least as important and quite difficult. I’d love to tell you about my... journey in this space.

What follows are by no means state of the art solutions. The industry’s had excellent minds on this problem for over two decades, and you and I have little hope of catching up over an afternoon coffee. So let’s focus on the nitty-gritty details of making basic pathfinding look and feel good for players under practical game constraints. A practical knowledge of 3D math is assumed, but a phD in AI is not recommended. I’d probably just upset you, honestly ;)

Goals

In RTS movement, some players want realistic, slow-rotating tanks and squads of infantry hustling together like Company of Heroes. Our game is about executing big plays in quick brawls so our priorities were “responsive over realistic,” and “direct-control over coordinated formations.” Think more Starcraft than Age of Empires.

Where We Started

UDK (Unreal Engine 3’s SDK) supports A* pathfinding in a navmesh-based space, and has pretty effective (if finicky) navmesh generation. However, pathfinding was implemented almost entirely in unreachable engine code which we could not modify in UDK. All in all, if I selected a single unit and right clicked a pathable location, I could expect it to get there eventually. I thought we were pretty well covered with that. Boy, was I wrong.

Problem #1 - Stopping the Group

The next step is moving a group. If I select a few of our Doughboy units and ask them to move to the exact same location, only one of them is going to actually make it there. At best, the others will be adjacent to that one who made it. So how do they know when they’re done moving? Two clicks and we’ve already hit our first issue!

What we came up with was a sort of message-passing system. The first guy who got there was set to have reached the destination, and anybody who touched him and was also trying to get to the same place would consider himself at his destination. Then those guys could pass that message on to anybody who bumped them. We called this “transitive bumping.” This felt pretty clever, and works well for clustered groups, but still has some silly degenerate cases (e.g. if units are in a line).

Problem #2 - Moving Through the Crowd

Another issue we ran into early on was one unit being blocked by another. While UDK’s pathfinding supported creating new obstacles in the navmesh, doing it for a couple hundred units who were constantly changing their location resulted in unplayable performance. Because of this, units were always trying to move through one another instead of around.

Our solve was to allow units to apply a force to one another under certain conditions. This also needed to propagate throughout the group like our stopping messages.

A more natural looking solution might be to tell the unit to move themself out of the way (a la Starcraft 2), and then to move themselves back. In either case, determining the exact states/conditions to “push” another unit was incredibly complex and error-prone. “You can push Allies but not enemies, idle units but not attacking units.” In our case, it took ~10 unique clauses with various levels of nesting to achieve. Yikes! I’d love to find a more generic solve here.

Problem #3 - Staying in Your Lane

After our first public demo of The Maestros at GDC in 2014, I received some feedback from a mentor of mine that the game felt “messy.” Plenty of things contributed to this at the time, but the problem that was most at fault was that even simple, straight-line movements had units jockeying for position along the same path. Nobody would expect a real-life crowd to do that, and certainly not a group of military-trained robots. All of our units were still acting completely independently. When they received a single, common destination from a player’s click and tried to get there on their own fastest route, they’d often choose the same route as the guy next to them. The result was about as graceful as all 8 lanes of the 405 freeway collapsing into one lane instantaneously.

The general solution to this isn’t terribly hard. Calculate a center point for the current group, take the difference of each unit’s position from that center point, and issue a bespoke move command for each unit with their offset from the destination.

For units A, B, & C, and a clicked location (red reticle), offset each destination

That worked great for the basic case of moving a unit cluster from one open area to another, but as you’ll begin to learn in this article - most of the “general” feeling solutions have conditions where they break down. The most obvious is if you try to move next to an obstacle. As you can see below, the center point is fine, but unit C would be inside a boulder (gray box).

Another issue was that if your units were spread out and you clicked near the center, you’d expect them to collapse inwards. Using a naive offset, however, they’d generally stay put. Offsetting the destination also fails to meet expectations if your units are too spread out. For example, you’ve all your units in one cluster, but your commander (unit A) was off solo farming 2 screens away. When you issue a move to a point near the center of the cluster, you’d expect all your units, including your commander, to end up generally underneath your cursor (red reticle). In fact, none of them end up under your cursor if you apply offsets naively.

Summarizing many issues in one sentence, “There are situations where some or all units should collapse together, not maintain their offset from the group’s center.” The idea of determining who is in a group or not can sound a bit daunting, and certainly there are some complex clustering algorithms that could be applied here. My solution to this problem ended up being much simpler and has been unexpectedly effective across a huge number of scenarios. Here’s the rundown:

Borrowing language from our code, I calculate a “SmartCenter” for the group

Calculate the average position of all units in the group

Remove any units that aren’t within 1 standard deviation of that average

Recalculate the average position from that subset of the group

If the point we are trying to reach is within a standard deviation of the center point, I use naive independent movement. This guarantees that units will gather shoulder-to-shoulder in a tight cluster, and gives players the kind of direct control of the group shape we’re looking for in The Maestros.

If I don’t have a meaningful “Primary Cluster,” then my units are probably spread out all over the map. In this situation, I just want them to regroup as best they can. Another win for naive independent pathfinding. I detect this situation when the standard deviation for the group is larger than a particular maximum. Ideally, that maximum is relative to the area occupied by the group so I used the sum of all unit’s radii. That’s been reasonably effective.

If I have a “Primary Cluster,” but 1 or more units are more than 1 standard deviation from the group’s center, I collapse them in by giving them a destination in the direction (i.e. normal) of their offset, but only a standard deviation’s length (i.e. magnitude) away from the group’s central destination. This has the effect of “collapsing back in” and feels much more natural.

Problem #4 - Sticking Together

Overall applying relative offsets to each unit’s destination was a huge win for the “cleanliness” of movement within our game when moving in a straight line. Pathing around obstacles was still abysmal though. First, units will take their own shortest path around an obstacle, and don’t always stick together with their group. Second, our 8-lane to 1-lane traffic jam happens all over again at each intermediate point before we reach our destination (see figure b).

Not pathing together

Traffic jam on intermediate points

I sat on this problem for an embarrassingly long time without a good answer. On day one, I thought to pick 1 unit’s path, and apply the offsets to each intermediate point. This breaks down quickly when you consider that often the reason you’re pathfinding in the first place is that your going tightly around an obstacle. Applying the offsets will leave 50% of your units trying to path into a rock, and naive independent pathfinding will cause a permanent gridlock before you even get near your final destination.

My conceptual answer to this setback wasn’t terribly clever either (depicted below). I’d move the path away from the corner, about one radius width. Determining this mathematically on the other hand proved incredibly elusive to me. How do I determine whether my path is cornering close to an obstacle or far away? If I am close, is the obstacle on my left or my right? On what axis is my left or my right for a given point in my path?

At some point I was going to have to do a raycast to locate obstacle volumes. Perhaps I could try raycasting radially around each point (pictured below)? Unfortunately it was prone to missing the obstacle entirely. The accuracy of this solution scaled directly with the number of raycasts I did per point on the path, and that felt terribly inefficient.

What I really needed was the left-right axis for a given turn. The hypothesis is that the angle of the turn is telling you about where you obstacle likely is. Most of my obstacles where going to be directly inside the “elbow” of my vectors, and occasionally outside it. I hit a breakthrough when I found the axis through the following operations:

Generate the vectors for relative movement between points - For each pathfinding point B, subtract its predecessor, A, to get the vector from A -> B

For each pair of subsequent vectors, A & B, add them to get a vector C that goes from the beginning of A to the end of B

Cross C with an up/down vector to get a vector P, that bisects the area between A & B.

The vector P is the right/left axis for my turn! I check for obstacles on either side and shift my pathfinding point away from the obstacle by a little more than 1 standard deviation. The result goes from a path (green) directly on top of my obstacle, to one comfortably offset from it.

Before After

Now, I can apply my offsets at the updated points along my path so my group can stick together as they path, and they won’t traffic jam. It doesn’t cover every situation, but in ~90% of cases we can get by without traffic-jamming. The improvement is enormous. Here’s a before & after of going around just one corner.

Before

After

Learnings

My biggest learning from doing this is that “generalized” pathfinding algorithms like A* are unlikely to be the whole movement story for your game, especially if you’re trying to coordinate a group’s movement. The second thing I learned is that complexity is truly the enemy here. Pathfinding isn’t hard because the pathfinding algorithms are complex. A tight A* implementation is easily less than a hundred lines of pretty readable code, and is perfectly serviceable for most games. Pathfinding is hard because moving multiple units in real-time and space with one another produces an incredibly large volume of scenarios, and humans have pretty specific expectations of what should happen in many of those scenarios.

The Maestros is running a Closed Beta Weekend from May 25-27. Sign up on our website to join in!

all of the numbers for Chiyu ❤

omg dear

ok here we  go time to die lmfao

1. What does their bedroom look like?Probably somewhat dark, lots of plants. Succulents because she cant keep anything else alive long enough. It’s probably always a little messy.2. Do they have any daily rituals?Nothing in particular except waiting for something to happen with the League. She likes to hang out in Kur/ogiri’s bar with him and Da/bi and chat. Da/bi prefers other places to hang out though, he only stays there if he has to.

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?She does, by fighting with the other league members and training herself. She doesn’t want to be useless in a fight.

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?Barge her way in. She’s hungry, dammit. That, and she knows no one would mind making room for her. They’re not that competitive about it.

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)Not that clean when she’s not doing a mission. She has to be REALLY cleanly when helping a mission though because she has to heal wounds and she cant risk infecting them.6. Eating habits and sample daily menuThe only one who can cook anything decently is Kurog/iri, so there’s a lot of eating out when he’s not available. Chiyu can cook a little bit but its not a great idea. Don’t even think about letting the other league members cook, thats just asking for a disaster.7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting timeAnything that involves hanging out with Da/bi. As long as he’s with her, she doesn’t mind. Da/bi isn’t one to like wasting too much time though, so they don’t do that too often if he can help it. Chiyu doesn't mind the idea of it, though.8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulgingFavorite indulgence is sweets! She tries not to eat too many but sometimes she cant help herself. She’s lucky she has a fast metabolism. She has no feelings about indulgence either way, but thinks its better to indulge yourself at least sometimes. 9. Makeup?Nah lmao10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?The same ones I have I suppose, so Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and BPD. They are self diagnosed, though since they never had access to good healthcare.11. Intellectual pursuits?Medical stuff, she has to learn all of it so that she can heal better. She can’t just wave her hands and magically heal someone, she has to understand how the body works, and sometimes it gets messy if she has to set bones and stuff. She HAS to make sure its going to heal properly before speeding it up, otherwise she will have to start over.12. Favorite book genre?fantasy, scifi, maybe a bit of medical textbooks too lol13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?Asexual, panromantic. She doesn’t care too much about it tbh? She just knows she likes anyone regardless of gender and doesn't see the need for labels really. Especially since she’s pangender and doesn't think about her own gender too much.14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)Uhh, none that I can think of? She heals herself so she never really goes to hospitals or anything... if she has any of those, she doesn’t really know about it. Poor girls never had a proper check-up in her life.15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?Biggest: To help the League by being their healer. Smallest: To become an asset to them as best as she can.16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?Biggest: To make the world see what is really important. To not put heroes on pedestals.  To help others and make a safer world, not just for purely good people. Smallest: To love Da/bi and help him figure out his issues and support him. 17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dressWay prefers casual. she’s not opposed to dressing up though, it makes her feel nice sometimes.18. Favorite beverage?Green Tea19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?A lot of things. Are they really doing what they set out to do? Is being with the League really going to help her with the world? Does that even matter? She loves the League members so much, she doesn’t know what she’d do without them. And Da/bi would never abandon her and she’d never do that to him. She just hopes she’s doing the right thing.20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?It’s a miracle she didn’t die as a kid. Her parents died whe nshe was young, and she was in an out of run down orphanages for a time, until she ran away. They weren’t good places. She learned how to heal herself at a young age though so she never got too sick.21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?Being loved, cherished and adored with a gentle kindness. But also being looked at like a piece of meat or an object, feeling like someone owns her. It’s always consensual when its like that but it.. helps her deal with her trauma, as long as she controls the situation.22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?Writing her thoughts or drawing, probably. Writing helps her remember things.23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?She’s only organized with her medical self education. Otherwise her lifes kinda messy. her room is pretty messy and disorganized.24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?Yes! Medical stuff  c:25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?Hopefully by then the world has settled into its new order and things become peaceful, but not oppressed by fake heroes like before.26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?Hopefully goes the way she wants, but she has no plans if they dont, except to help Da/bi with his issues and remain by his side.27. What is their biggest regret?They don’t have any at the moment. Everything bad has been out of her hands up to this point, and she refuses to let it stay that way. She has taken her life into her own hands and doesn’t plan on regretting anything about what she does.28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?da/bi is her best friend and boyfriend, but Twice and Kuro/giri are good to her too. Her worst enemy is Endea/vor. She wants him dead as much as Da/bi does, even if she doesn't understand his motives for it yet. She doesn’t need much of a reason, though.29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)HOLY SHIT KURO/GIRI WARP IT S OMEWHERE ELSE30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)She has no family, but if Da/bi died, she would bury herself in her work and become very quiet and reserved, only caring about her goals to help people even more at that point.31. Most prized possession?Her watch. Toga gave it to her, or rather stole it. Its very high tech and helps her keep track of how much time has passed since she has healed someone, since she can only work within ten minutes of when she starts healing them.32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?She doesn’t hang on to very many of them from her past. She has nothing to hold on to. But if Da/bi gave her something... she would cherish that forever.33. Concept of home and family?The League is her new family and she would do anything for them.34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)A bit prone to tmi lmao, she’s seen a lot with her medical work so nothing much bothers her.33. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?She doesn’t consider much of anything to be a waste? As long as it gets her to her goal of helping people. Maybe some of t he things the League does feels like a counter-productive time waste, but not often.34. What makes them feel guilty?When she isn’t able to help someone, or has to reset the damage she tried healing, because she knows thats incredibly painful. She’s had to do it to herself a few times.35. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?Very emotional, following her heart type of person. She’s only analytical about her healing, but even that is mixed with emotions.36. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?Probably B ! Not super proactive, more go with the flow. But she does have goals she wants to reach, so maybe a mixture of both.37. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?Cuddling with Da/bi... >///>38. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither? Maybe a bit of both? They very much believe they’re right.39. How misanthropic are they?Very little if at all, since they want to help and reform society to something better, rather than leave it to fend for itself.40. Hobbies?Studying medicine, and spending time with Da/bi, when she is not doing things for the League.41. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?She never had a formal education, and taught herself every single thing she knows. She was never given proper quirk counseling either, she had to train herself to become powerful with her quirk and iron out her weaknesses. So obviously she finds value in self-education.42. Religion?Can you count Hero Killer’s ideals as a religion?43. Superstitions or views on the occult?Again, if  you count following Hero Killer’s ideals as a cult thing, then shes into that.44. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?A lot of both, honestly. She’s very honest and open about w hat she thinks and feels.45. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?Villains lmfao46. How do they express love?Devotion, adoration, thoughtful gifts, spending time, supporting and helping the other as much as she can.47. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?She doesnt get into fights if she can help it. She’s better supporting someone else, like Da/bi in a fight. She can hold her own for a little bit, though, if its a close combat situation.48. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?Probably yeah, I imagine. She has lots of things she wants to accomplish and she wants to help people. She needs to be alive to see her goals come to fruition.

Yo do them all for Ilde! (If u want!)

 FINALLY these are finished here’s a bunch of backstory about my favorite shitty girl

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

she kinda idolized the guy tbh. she saw him as an ideal to aspire to, someone who was a hero and lived an exciting life, and ultimately he was more of a symbol than an actual person that she remembered (he disappeared when she was 8). he represented freedom & excitement that she didn’t have in her life, and later on what it meant to be a “hero” (alongside mara). the idea of him influenced her path in life a lot, even if she probably would have fucked off to travel around anyway. 

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

it’s…. complicated. she loves her mom a lot, her mom is her favorite (living) family member, but their relationship is sort of muddied by ilde being the Family Disappointment™ (and fucking off at the age of 16 to be an adventurer) and the kind of weird relationship that her dad has to the family (bc she looks a lot like her father and is a lot like him). so. it’s weird. they’re very distant now.

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

She has an older half-sister, who is about 6 years older than her, named Ada. i’d characterize their relationship as… distant? more than anything else? they’re just far apart in age and in personality that they grew apart as they grew older, although when they were younger ilde was a pain in ada’s ass, very loud and always wanting to play. 

at the end of the day though, ilde’s also a little jealous of her sister because she’s everything she couldn’t be– she’s smarter and more responsible and always seems like she’s figured everything out and has found her place in the work. ilde doesn’t regret her life decisions but she know that they made her the black sheep of the family, so sometimes she’s jealous that ada just seems to fit into that life so well.

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

i think her mom erred on the more lenient side, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, or save that try to approach the situation by talking it out rather than going straight to punishment. she probably couldn’t keep it up all the time though, ilde was a troublemaker

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

not really? she had a normal family who took care of her but she wasn’t overprotected by any means

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

a weird mix of the two, and probably not on purpose. her family loved her and cared for her (ada will always say that ilde was mom’s favorite) but ilde, physically and personality-wise, is just a little to reminiscent of her father. this meant her mother treated her with a little more leniency, but her sister and her grandmother saw her father in a much less favorable light (that he abandoned the family or that he was too reckless and a bad example), and through either being compared to him or them obviously not looking highly on his chosen profession (which ilde idolized) she felt somewhat rejected. she just felt like she couldn’t fit their vision of what they wanted her to be, basically.

7. What was the economic status of their family?

they’re middle class, they own a small cobbling business.

8. How does your character feel about religion?

she didn’t like it when she was younger (her family worshipped waukeen but in a very ‘goes to church on sunday’ kind of thing, so ilde just saw religion as just a thing that she was supposed to do and therefore boring and annoying), but she’s grown to respect those who practice religion (hanging out with a paladin for like 3 years will do that to you) although she doesn’t want to have anything to do with it herself. she doesnt want anyone telling her want to do or believe.

9. What about political beliefs?

”fuck the government”

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

street-smart, not very book-smart but that’s a good amount due to a) not liking school as an institution because it’s boring and she’s bad at it so why bother, and b) i think she has a learning disability of some sort, probably dyscalculia or dyslexia which made school difficult for her and thus she figured it wasn’t for her and kind of gave up on it

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

she sees herself as smart when it comes to life skills and street smarts, and sees herself as dumb when it comes to traditionally academic spheres

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

i don’t think she comes across as very educated– she’s very crass and generally doesn’t use a lot of complex vocabulary, and her speech in general tends to be very informal. she probably also has a bit of an accent that reflects where she’s from

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

she hated all of it. too many rules and too much structure, and as a result she got in trouble a lot. she also didn’t have a lot of close friends and ended up getting into fights with other kids

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

i dont think her school had much of that? and if it did i don’t think she’d be interested in much of it.

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

she’s the equivalent of a high school drop out

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

she’s an “adventurer” which really is just a fancy word for doing odd and dangerous jobs for not as much money as she should be making. it’s tough work and it’s never as stable or safe or as glory-filled as she’d imagined. she wouldn’t have it any other way though– nothing else affords her the same amount of freedom. also in other jobs you dont get to hit stuff w/ an axe as much? what’s even the point then

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

yes, everywhere she can, because staying in one place too long is boring and she needs to keep looking for work. she’s still traveling now, really

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

a great mentor, new skills, a cool ass axe, and a sense of like... personal responsibility. she remembers what she learned from mara, both the practical skills and the lessons that she didn’t even know she was learning. she remembers bandits and monsters and getting cheated out of money and the feeling of pride in a finishing blow. she remembers seeing mara die and thinking “was it like this for dad, too?”

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

the adventuring life isn’t everything she thought it’d be. it’s kind of thankless, and kind of lonely, and there’s not as much glory in it as one would expect. this doesn’t mean she wont brag about her life like it’s actually really cool tho

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

discovery of the other continent, but that’s about it

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

she’s, uh, kind of an asshole tbh? or at least she can be very rude and crass and really doesn’t care about manners all that much. as for heroes, she thinks a true hero is someone who is willing to give up everything, including their life, for other people. sort of by extension, she hates cowards and people who hurt the innocent. the worst type of people are a mix of those two.

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

she doesn’t have many friends, and most of the friends that she does have are friends of circumstance rather than long-lasting relationships. her closest friendship was with mara, but that was also very much a mentorship and born partially out of the benefits of having a traveling partner (and ilde having a bit of a crush) right now though, she’d consider her squad and some of the pirates and prisoners to be sort of friends.

she doesn’t have any lovers lol, but her type tends to be “cute girls who could probably kick her ass”

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

i think she wants someone who could match her & challenge her, push her to be better but also not make her settle down or give up her freedom. really, she wants a romantic AND traveling partner. as for sex, it’s something she enjoys but she’s kinda shy around girls unless she’s drunk so it’s not something she’s having a lot of lol

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

not many? if she’s in a social group she’s usual a part of one because they’re all on the same job (or, as w/ this campaign, all thrown into the same bad situation). in which case she likes to take charge and drive the group forward, even if she’s not the technical leader, although she often just ends up being the fighty one who’s maybe a leader in battle but not in the rest of the mission (or not in a meaningful way)

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

hitting things w/ an axe

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

the closest thing she has to home is her family’s shop, which i think of as being very cozy and well-maintained. her room is probably kind of sparse but messy when she stays there. 

as for personal taste, i don’t think she’s very aesthetics-oriented in general, and will go for usefulness over looking good, although she’ll make an exception for anything that looks badass or has the color red in it. she’s currently wearing her pirate’s uniform with the sleeves ripped off, along with her armor. she has long red hair that she usually keeps up in some sort of bun, or in a braid or braids in her downtime. she is short and stocky, with pale skin and freckles, large brown eyes and a strong jaw. i rolled for it an apparently she’s pretty hot too, although i don’t think she puts much work into her appearance beyond the basics.

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

her relationship to clothing is very pragmatic, but she likes anything that will carry across the notion that she’s cool and badass and not to be messed with. she wears her clothing in whatever way is most comfortable, and goes for comfort and quality over anything else.

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

she is very single rn (altho she thinks lionheart is cute)

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

a very bad mix of pride and recklessness. she’s incredibly prideful and doesn’t want to ever ask for help and it’s gotten her in trouble before. mix that with a propensity to not think very much before she acts (although she’s gotten better about that as she’s gotten older) and it’s a recipe for disaster and also lying to her mom too much

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

kind of; she’s still holding onto her father and mara’s death, but not really in the sense of holding onto a grudge, more in the sense of holding onto those memories because she admires them, and especially with mara wants to follow in her example to honor her memory. so her holding onto the past grounds her with some ideals and morals, especially about sacrifice and what it means to be a hero

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

she has no kids and doesn’t want any

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

very aggressively, put her in a stressful situation and her first reaction is to fight back, either verbally or physically

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? 

she drinks, mostly to relax in between jobs

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

yeah a general feeling of anger is pretty common, right now mostly directed at someone i can’t talk about because spoilers, but she’s dealing with it. she chopped of a worm’s head so she cooled down a little, even if so and so is still a fucking coward

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

unless they’re particularly spectacular failures she just tries to move on from any mistakes she makes and not linger on them too long. her first instinct usually isn’t to blame herself tho

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

she doesn’t like to suffer, but she thinks that all of the struggles (physical or emotional) that she’s had to go through have made her stronger, so she’s okay with having gone through them. she doesn’t like seeing innocents or friends suffer but if it’s the person/thing she’s fighting it’s fine. she’s not going to draw out anyone’s suffering though.

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

she tends to live in the present and focus on dealing with current problems rather than be off in her own world, although that’s more of a result of her growing up than anything. when she was younger, she was constantly dreaming about being an adventurer.

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

a weird mix of suspicious and enthusiastic? like, she’s constantly seeking out new experiences but at the same time she’s been doing this shit long enough to be aware of potential danger and ready to fight it.

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

oh so much. SO much. she generally likes to ridicule people she doesn’t like, especially people who take themselves too seriously or who are very uptight

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

she definitely has a sense of humor but it’s kind of a mean one-- she tends to laugh at other people’s embarrassments and fuck ups

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

she’s gained a bit of this as she’s grown older. she’s not terribly introspective but she’s gained a better sense of her own strengths and weaknesses and is at least able to reflect back on her younger self with something resembling self-criticism

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

she wants freedom, hands down. it’s not a very tangible “want” but it’s the thing that drives most of her decisions-- it’s the reason she rebelled so much as a kid, the reason she left home, the reason she continues to travel and take odd jobs to make ends meet, the reason she want so badly to get off these islands. she’s will to cut ties and even hurt others if necessary.

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

not to the people around her, but she’s been exaggerating how cool/exciting/good her life is to her family for a while because she’s a prideful shit who can’t admit when she’s wrong, and it keeps her from having a closer relationship w/ her family and a stronger support system. (i don’t think she went home right after mara died because of this and just dealt with it by herself because she couldnt bring herself to tell her family ‘oh this life kinda sucks sometimes,’ and she only ever goes home when she’s doing well for herself)

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

she’s a girl of action-- she wanted to be an adventurer so she became one, even not being super prepared for what it would be like at all. she tends to jump in head-first into things

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

she’s grown more pragmatic as she’s grown up, but she’s fundamentally very action-oriented and puts her heart into what she’s doing. she was very irresponsible as a kid but has grown more responsible w/ age.

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

she’s tall for a dwarf (like 4′11″) but short overall, her body type is pretty broad/stocky and muscular. she has pretty decent posture but it’s only because her grandmother was strict about it– she doesn’t care about her posture much but she tends to fall back into good posture. as for her body, she’s very proud of it! the way she sees it, her body is a weapon that she put a lot of work into honing and mastering, and her muscles and her scars are the result of that hard work, so why not be proud of them?

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

she wants to project the image of someone a little older and very in-control and commanding. she wants to be very visible.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

depends on her mood. all of her movements tend to have a lot of weight to them, and her movements are either v energetic or v relaxed

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

uhh kind of on the lower side (somewhat deliberate bc it gives off an air of her being confident and serious or some shit), and she tends to be kinda loud. she talks very casually so she doesn’t care if sometimes her words run together a little. she speaks like she wants to be heard and get her point across. she probably has a light accent that one would probably recognize as being from Drag’t, and vaguely dwarvish (bc that’s probably her actual first language and one she spoke at home a lot)

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

a general expression of “don’t fuck with me”

I want to ask for Kirino for the excessively detailed meme but... I can't chose which ones? I want to ask for all of them that you haven't already done ^^' is that too much? I love hearing what you write about him ;w;

Alright, but I don´t think those will be really good like the others...

Very, very slight NSFW inside.

What does their bedroom look like?

It´s a big, yet simple one. Has a king size bed, usually with flower patterns or checkered in green and white. Has the traditional Japanese desk for studies... A coffee table and cushions for guests, a bookshelf where he keeps his prizes, too... A closet where he hides mostly of his mascot stuff... Though some are around the room. Has a veranda. Another desk has his computer placed, along with some photos.

Do they have any daily rituals?

Takes some time brushing his hair on the morning. He doesn´t take long making his twintails, though, because practice makes perfection. At night, he likes to soak for a long time in the tub, using bath bombs and such. Brushes his hair 100 times before going to bed.

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

Before going to school, he runs a bit and does calistenics. Then there´s morning soccer practice and afternoon soccer practice. Stretches a bit before sleeping. At Sundays, runs a bit and take strolls.

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

He goes to Tobitaka´s ramen restaurant. Or sometimes dines with Shindou or Hamano.

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

He usually keeps his room clean enough. Though he can be a bit carefree sometimes, leaving clothes around the room. Has an aromatizer on his room and tissues near the bed for you-know-what (He´s a teen boy, after all) Keeps his trashcan always clean and doesn´t put food on it.

Eating habits and sample daily menu

Usually eats the adequate portions for his age. If training much, packs some onigiri. Eats vegetables without complaining, even not liking some. Likes to put karaage and tamagoyaki on his school lunch. The worst habit is having a very sweet tooth, eating candies between the meals, sometimes, usually fruit drops and caramels.

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

Reading random stuff, playing videogames and buying mascot related stuff. Feels a bit guilty about the last one, sometimes, as he might spend too much time and money on it. His mother isn´t really pleased with this hobby, either.

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

Eating candies while lying on bed and thinking about random stuff, watching kitty and blooper videos on internet and masturbating. For so, he sometimes steal some of his dad´s dirty magazine stash. Usually does those things on Sundays.

Makeup?

Nope.

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

Grits his teeth. Must keep his mascot collection clean. Must make the most symmetrical twintails possible. Must be manlier, regarding personality and clothing, at least. So feels guilty about his mascot collection, sometimes. Worries about being a good friend too much.

Intellectual pursuits?

Polishing his Literature and language skills more and more.

Favorite book genre?

Biography, historic and some thirillers.

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

Though thinks of himself as heterosexual only, shows some interest in Shindou and Kariya, sometimes. Since he never had experiences with them, I guess this doesn´t count as bisexual... He´s not close-minded about orientations. People can be whatever they want to, he´s fine with this. Though he finds a bit odd when seeing the real thing in front of him.

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

Scar on his left thigh (Done by Shindou, accidentally) The foot Kariya stepped on still hurts, also. Mostly in rainy days.

Biggest and smallest short term goal?

Being better than Shindou at some subjects and creating another defense technique.

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

Going to a good university and just keeping his friendship with Shindou and Kariya.

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

Likes simple clothing, like t-shirts or polos, along with jeans or cargo pants. Usually uses his favorite red sneakers, but have others. There´s no ritual in particular... Or maybe putting a bit of perfume counts?

Favorite beverage?

Some kinds of tea, like Earl Grey and Green, iced or not. Likes to drink strawberry milk, sometimes. Some flavors of Calpis, also.

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

How was his day, incoming soccer matches, sometimes about his friends...

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

Nothing serious. Just had chickenpox, flu and sinusitis. Passed chickenpox to Shindou, though, which isn´t that bad.

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

Shy, yet strong girls (Not physically) Long hair, medium breasts... Nothing out of the ordinary. But the biggest turn-off are girls physically stronger than him, loud and hysterical girls... But the worst of all... Being called lovely and cute.

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Terrible drawings and plans for a new technique.

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

Organized enough to find his everyday stuff. Sometimes, losts little things like the 3DS stylus and keys, because he´s feeling lazy and his room is a bit messy, with clothes and books everywhere.

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

Literature, History and languages. Very carefree about the rest. Not that´s he´s dumb, he just gets distracted.

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

At a good college, maybe Literature course... Or being a pro soccer player. Wishes both could get along.

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

Perhaps being a Literature, History or English teacher and visiting France. The other plan is to be a coach or maybe an ikebana teacher like his mother.

What is their biggest regret?

Wasn´t with Shindou at very important moments, like when he miximaxed and had to go to other planets. Feels terrible about the time he felt jealous of him.

But more than anything, that he couldn´t prevent Jeanne´s horrific death.

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Shindou is and probably will always be his most important friend. After making up with Kariya, got a soft spot for him, too. His worst enemy is a person that could harm them.

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

Nervous and scared, but still okay to proceed and find a solution and/or shelter.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

Gets down, silently. If he cries, will be so discreet that no one will notice.

Most prized possession?

Shindou´s friendship misanga (bracelet) they made few years ago. Takuto has the one Kirino made. Also, keeps one of Jeanne´s candy.

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

Not that possessive with his stuff. He even gives some of his mascots for cousins.

Concept of home and family?

Deeply cares for his parents. Respects his mother a lot, which is strict, but caring on her own way. His father is more carefree and they have fun together. His home is the place where he feels comfy and safe, despite being a very big old Japanese style mansion for about six people (Maid, chef and housekeeper)

Consider his close friends as family, too.

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

He´s very private. Will maybe open himself to his best friends, but doesn´t want to bother them, though.

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Window shopping, for sport stuff in particular. He thinks he could just research about desired item on internet and then going to buy it. Still, he goes taking a peek on everything.

Also using Twitter and Instagram.

What makes them feel guilty?

Being a bad friend or son. And sometimes he masturbates to certain people... And wants to die after doing so.

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

Analytical. It´s rare for him to lost his cool.

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

I guess... 40% A and 60% B

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Candy and a warm bubble bath.

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

He´s prone to feel inferior. Actually, feels really inferior when compares himself to Shindou, which makes he feel guilt.

How misanthropic are they?

Very little. He´s still young, though. Has yet to see the ugliest part of human beings.

Hobbies?

Reading, writing, ikebana, soccer training, chatting with Shindou and singing along as he plays the piano, going out with Kariya (as friends) and fishing with Hamano, Hayami and Kurama, basically. Goes out with all of his friends, sometimes.

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

He will graduate in college. Thinks formal is okay and self might be interesting, depending of the subject.

Religion?

Buddhist, but doesn´t practice it. Still goes to the temple, sometimes.

Superstitions or views on the occult?

Likes when the tea stalk is floating vertically, won´t write others names in red and makes wishes at temples, specially Tenjin (Scholarship god) Not a fan of cemiteries and ghosts.

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

Depends of the person and the situation. But use words, mostly.

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

A shy, kind and gentle girl. Would like her to feel protected by him. If possible, not taller...

How do they express love?

With trust and the best advices he can think of. For friends, he also gives little pats on their heads (Like Kariya) and arm bumps (Like Shindou) For lovers, would try to make handmade gifts and give flowers.

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

He´s the defensive kind of person, but I guess his posture would be karate-like.

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

A bit. He is just unsure of how he will feel when it happens. And sometimes thinks he will miss everyone and everything.

OC Review! SHSL Urban Dancer Rizumu Daiho!

This talent is kind of exciting for me! I live near a city where street dancing is pretty common, so I see stuff like this pretty often! Do I know anything about it? 

...Well, no, not at all. But I’m still excited to tell you all about today’s OC: Rizumu Daiho, the SHSL Urban Dancer! 

Under the cut, the original form will be in plain text while my comments will be in bold. 

Name: Rizumu Daiho ( 大歩 リズム)

Rizumu means “Rhythm” and Daiho means “Big Step” its kind of a joke name to how she discovered her talent by through Dance Dance Revolution. Her name can be shortened to Rizu which is a way of saying “Liz” in Japanese which means “Oath to God”. Mainly focusing on oaths to show not just how she takes honesty seriously and effort to keep promises to heart but also be more expressive in strong emotions since while Rizumu is energetic and high spirited when her mood is right, she chooses a strong emotion such as anger in despair situations. Also, from what I found elsewhere Riz could mean “someone who loves the outdoors” which suits her since her taste in dancing is more outside on streets or cities.  Her former surname Itokinuyo is a combination of “Ito"  meaning "thread; yarn; string” and Kinuyo which means “generation of silk”. This references her mother’s ancestry of silk farmers that became a famous fashion designer name.

Alrighty, let’s take a look at this--you were pretty thorough, so I’ll be the same way! First of all, I just want to make sure you know Rizumu’s meaning comes from how it’s just the Japanese spelling of the English word Rhythm. It’s a loan word and would be pretty strange as a name, even by Dangan Ronpa standards. You mention later it was picked by her father, so I feel like you could make it, say, his childhood nickname for her. Daiho, on the other hand, checks out in terms of meaning and kanji. It’s not a name I’ve heard personally, but it wouldn’t be out of place in DR.

I think the meaning and reasoning behind rizu/liz is only really relevant if someone calls Rizumu that or she identifies by that name, though the Liz meaning part is correct! I also don’t quite get what experiencing strong emotions has to do with any kind of oath, to God or otherwise. I looked a lot, but I can’t find where Riz means “someone who loves the outdoors” in any language or context.

And finally, to address Itokinuyo… yeah, it looks fine! I think it’s less that Kinuyo means “generation of silk” and more that uses the kanji for both silk and generation, and I’ve only seen it as a first name (of the lady who wrote the Castlevania soundtrack, there’s a fun fact), but neither of those matter too much.

There are other ways of braking her name down through the Japanese Kanji, but its complex. As I said I’m not good at Japanese, but the best I could come up for Rizumu’s name differently is (織 図 夢) “Ri” for “weave” “Zu” for “Plan” and “Mu” for “Dream” The “Ri” is associated with her family’s name as a fashion designer business but her full name could relate to her taking and controlling her own fate and choosing to pursue her own path instead of her former family’s path.

The kanji works here, too! You mixed Kunyomi and Onyomi readings, but… that’s not too uncommon, even for real-life Japanese names. Like I said before, it’s still an English loan word first even if you give it kanji, but this does lend it some more credibility as a Name rather than a Nickname.

Age: 17

SHSL Title: Urban Dancer (Not Hiyoko’s Traditional Dancing. Urban Dance is: Any of various dances influenced by the rhythms and techniques of funk and hip-hop music, such as locking, popping, or b-boying. Also anything that’s really fast paced like Street, Electro, Break, Club, etc.)

This is all great, though I think something SHSL Street Dancer Flows a bit better. “Street Dancer” is a fairly well-known phrase while “Urban Dancer” isn’t, though, so I might just be a little biased.

Gender: Female (But due to also looking a little masculine and wears tomboy attire, she leaves her gender to speculation or other’s perspective until either free time events or a certain point. She’s one of those girls to judge on who they are rather than gender and she sees it as a bit of a problem with first impressions, so she changes in her dorm.)

So as far as I can tell, she’s a cis girl who doesn’t really present in feminine ways? That’s totally fine, though I’m a little conflicted as to whether she presents androgynously because she feels like presenting as feminine causes people to judge her or she otherwise feels insecure about it, or because she’s just Feelin’ It--both of these are valid reasons, of course, but you might want to be a little clearer about it.

Appearance:

https://goldencat12.deviantart.com/art/Danganronpa-Rizumu-Daiho-Ultimate-Dancer-Intro-671921511 (Urban’s missing due to early development.)

https://goldencat12.deviantart.com/art/Danganronpa-OC-Rizumu-Daiho-670137941

https://goldencat12.deviantart.com/art/Danganronpa-OC-Rizumu-Daiho-Emotion-Sprites-671468163

https://goldencat12.deviantart.com/art/Danganronpa-OC-Rizumu-Daiho-8-bit-sprite-674226556

https://goldencat12.deviantart.com/art/Danganronpa-OC-Rizumu-Daiho-8-bit-sprite-DR1-682750634

She looks great!

Blood Type: B

Height: 5'8 (175 cm)

Weight: 157 lbs (11 stone)

Waist (in): 30 (77cm)

Chest (in): 28 (70cm)

I’m definitely not an expert in this field, but these measurements seem a little… off. For one thing, every sizing chart I’ve seen lists chest/bust as larger than the associated waist size. These also just seem a little small for someone who’s 5’8” and 157 lbs (for reference, Saionji and Koizumi, who are the closest in terms of chest size to Rizumu at 64 and 77 cm respectively, are shorter and lighter than her. Saionji, especially, barely reaches above four feet and looks like a literal child--unless this is what you’re going for with Rizumu, it might be a good idea to adjust these measurements a bit!)

Skin Color: Light skinned pink

Hair Color: Dark blonde

Hair Style: Short, Straight, A little messy with a single platted ponytail, which she keeps under her hat until later on.

On Head: She has a dark pinkish red had cap that’s black on the front with her dance team logo “Graffiti Streakerz”

I really like “Graffiti Streakerz” as a name. It’s English, but like… the kind of English Japanese teenagers would use if they were trying to come up with a cool dance team name, you know?

On Neck: A scar along her neck and her headphones when she’s not using them.

On Torso: Green hoodie jacket that’s darker green almost near the edges

On Arms: She does where fingerless dark pink gloves, but only when she goes dancing or exercises

On Waist: Under her jacket, she wears a black belly top with darkish pink lines but keeps it zipped up until later on

I know what you’re going for here, but consider phrasing it along the lines of “something she keeps zipped up unless she’s around people she’s known for a while.”

On Legs: Light grey slightly baggy pants

On Feet: White and light grey converse trainers with darkish pink shoe laces

Background: Before she became who she was, Rizumu was born to an upper class lifestyle. Her mother’s a famous Fashion Designer that descended from a long line of silk farmers and her father, to where she got her surname from later on.

Quiiiick question: Traditional silk farming in Japan is really uncommon in modern times because it became really unprofitable. Knowing this, did Rizumu’s mother become a famous fashion designer to get away from her family’s non-profiting career, or deliberately to make money so they could carry on their silk farming? It’s a really small thing that isn’t even about the main character of your form, yeah, but I think understanding her mother’s motivations a bit more would help us understand her actions towards Rizumu a bit more clearly, too!

But since her mother’s name carried more weight, she was an Itokinuyo, but she was still called by her first name because it was picked by her father.

See, while this is uncommon in Japan as well, I really don’t mind this fact--it’s still believable enough given everything we know about her family.  

She also had an older sister as well, who mainly helped her mother with her business while Rizumu spent time with her dad. Her first time she did a dance was actually with her dad and remembers standing on his feet while he held her hands as they moved to the music.

Awwww! This is really good, cute imagery.

When it came to the wedding of her parents, which was before her little was noticed,

Before Rizumu’s talent was noticed?

something changed. Whether it was a sign or a shocking revelation, she couldn’t recall from all the negativity she heard in her ears. The last thing she recalled was seeing her father running out of the wedding venue and her chasing after him, not wanting to leave him. But being held back by her older sister, she could only watch hopelessly as her father drove off. Any other memory of him was blocked from what came next in the future.

Okay, this is where I’m gonna need some hardcore explanation. What I got from that scene was, “Rizumu and her older sister were attending their parents’ wedding, then something suddenly happened and Rizumu’s father left her mother at the altar, much to Rizumu’s dismay.”

Rizumu and her sister… attended their own parent’s wedding? That would mean they were both born a while before their parents were married. Granted, being born out of wedlock would explain how it was so easy for Rizumu to keep her mother’s surname, but the rate of out-of-wedlock pregnancies is very low in Japan and comes with a huge heap of social stigma. Rizumu’s mother, especially if she was well-known in society, would be facing all sorts of scandal! Which is fine! This is all fine, but it just needs to be explained, or at least addressed, in the backstory.

Secondly, why did her father end up leaving? Remember, this isn’t just a wife he ma or may not love, but a children he supposedly cares about, too. Even if Rizumu isn’t sure at first, you as the writer and we as the audience can know--it would help explain Rizumu’s mother’s reaction a lot more, too.

Her mother was in despair now that her husband to be left her while pregnant

And her mother was pregnant again, too? Geez, what kind of situation was this?

and had to be taken care of by her older sister.

This brings up another question--how old are Rizumu and her sister at this point in time? Between the wedding and this, I’m really confused.

Rizumu wanted to help, but her mother lashed out at her, now calling her Ri instead and for the fact that she looked like her dad. Her older sister even said to her that she was “bad for both of them” so she became more secluded.There are times her mum locked the door of her on purpose before her older sister let her in once her mum was asleep.

Okay, there’s a lot to talk about here, too. I can understand Rizumu’s mother’s bitterness towards her father, but we gotta be on the same page that this has crossed over to child abuse. Targeting one child in particular for harsh treatment is way outside the confines of “despair,” right? Again, I’m not saying this shouldn’t be in Rizumu’s backstory, but it should be addressed and treated as such.

Secondly… why does her older sister treat her that way? Assuming she was old enough to take care of Rizumu, she was old enough to see what happened at the wedding and old enough to comprehend that Rizumu is not the guilty party in any of this. Does she think her mother is acting rationally somehow? Does she honestly think Rizumu is creating this rift in the family?

After her little sister was born she didn’t look like her father like she did, so her mother gained some life back, but when she got older, Rizumu’s grew to be hated by more because she still looked like her dad. It came to the point that her only use for Rizumu was being a “mannequin pin cushion” for men’s clothing.

When her little sister actually interacted with her, they danced the way her dad used to do and gave her a piggyback ride, but it was the only time they shared before her mum turned her against her.

Again, Rizumu’s older sister is just kind of going along with all this? And Rizumu’s mother still harbors all this hatred towards her own child rather than her father? Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly abusive parents who do this, but it might be a good idea to point out the irrationality of these actions.

After some time, her mother took advantage of Rizumu’s love for dancing and forced her into ballet at Chōnadeshiko , a private all girls school she used to go to.

Does Rizumu have a love for dancing? I know you mentioned her dancing on her father’s feet before and doing the same with her little sister--again, imagery that I absolutely adore--but there’s a big step between doing that and enjoying dancing on its own. You’re definitely going to want to talk about Rizumu’s childhood experiences with dancing more. Maybe as a self-taught source of comfort in her terrible family situation?

Despite its perks of improving flexibility, Rizumu hated ballet because of her nickname she was ridiculed for “Twinkle Toes” from moving too quick, even on her feet, to slow music.

I don’t know about how I feel about the nickname itself, but otherwise, I really like this aspect of Rizumu.

But everything changed after going to an arcade after one of her classes and on the day her family went on a trip without her and found DDR. She didn’t get the highest score but she earned a crowd when she began to freestyle her moves, who happened to do a dance different to ballet as a hobby. Since then, she hanged around the streets more often to dance to their music, began to wear casual street clothing and stopped going to ballet.

Okay, I’m a little confused here, too. I got the impression above that Rizumu was placed into an all-girls private high school or middle school for her regular academic studies where ballet was an afterschool class--but is it a ballet academy that doesn’t offer regular studies?

However, when her sisters snitched her, Rizumu was now no longer anything to her mother and siblings and was thrown out, homeless and nowhere to go, which exposed her to the harshness of the streets.

Lots going on here, too, and I have a lot of questions to go along with it!

Why did her sisters snitch on her--for that matter, how did they know what Rizumu was doing? Were they actively looking to get her in trouble?

Why did Rizumu’s mother kick her out? Were her hopes for Rizumu riding on her becoming a successful ballet dancer? I got the impression she only put Rizumu in the school to get her out of the house, so if she’d be out of the house anyways with her urban dancing, why would her mother care either way?

Finally… where did Rizumu go? Did she make any attempts to live with her mother again because she thought an abusive household was better than no household, or was she glad to be out of a terrible situation even if it meant going into an uncertain one? Did she try to couchsurf with people she knew at the arcade? Did she just try to sleep around there? Did she try to reconnect with her father at all, especially during this time?

It came to a drunken brawl between a familiar face who watched her dance that she successfully broke up, but ended up with her neck sliced from a broken bottle. She woke up later in the hospital

Whoa! So she was knocked out or something during this brawl for that long period of time? Were there any negative physical consequences of that besides the scar on her neck?

to her friend from the streets who was the victim and target of the brawl and introduced himself as Shouji Konda. From the moment that scar came to her neck, she took it as a mark of being severed from her past life and began her new life as Rizumu Daiho by taking on her , changing her attire, dropping out of her private school to go to the same school Shouji father’s surnameand another girl she befriended, Hitomi Yoko went to.

Okay, so while I’m not against any of this, a lot of it requires some more explanation.

Who are Shouji and Hitomi? I mean, you introduced them both, but didn’t go into much detail about the impact either of them had on Rizumu’s life--if they’re important enough to be named, they’re probably important enough to have a little bit more information about them, right?

How did she take her father’s name? Did she just start going by it informally, or did she have it changed legally? Did she try to get in contact with her father at this point? For that matter, how does Rizumu feel about her father at this point? Does she idolize him because she’s built him up to be something amazing, or resent him because he basically abandoned her and her family?

Most importantly, I think, how did she get to school? If she dropped out of private school, that implies she was still attending while she was homeless. (How long was she homeless, by the way?) How was she paying for it, if this is the case? Or was she paying in the first place? For that matter, how is she paying for this new school. All high school education in Japan costs money (though some schools are cheaper than others, especially public schools). How did Rizumu afford to go back to school without her family’s financial support. Did she go back after the dance group started making money? Did she get a scholarship (a little bit unlikely from what we know about Rizumu, but not impossible)? Where did she start living after she got back on her feet? Did Shouji and/or Hitomi take her in and start helping her out?

She eventually became something after becoming nothing for so long.

I’ll address this more in my final thoughts, but I think your backstory generally needs a some more explanation and perhaps some cutting back on the more unrealistic elements.

Accomplishments: While getting her life back together, Rizumu and a bunch of teens with a couple of little kids formed The Graffiti Streakerz as a dance posse. Despite not wanting to be seen as a leader and have the group more on teamwork, Rizumu was still seen to others as their leader or “poster peep”

I don’t know if that’s a real or widely-used term but gosh I hope it is.

as she was the most talented. They started off in alleys and streets, which then grew into events, concerts and even world wide tours

This section works just fine for me, but it could definitely benefit from a little detail, too! Was there a point where they were “discovered” by someone who started getting gigs for them? Did Rizumu or another member of the team keep dragging everyone to open auditions until they got them?  

Personality: Rizumu is seen to be quite an upbeat energetic person, calling new faces as “peeps” and giving them an optimistic greeting. But she’s not naïve to the point she doesn't fully ignore a situation that’s realistic and asks what would be the catch when put in a situation like the killing game.

I mean, the catch of the killing game is that you kill people, right... ?

Nah, I’m just kidding, I know what you’re talking about. I do really like the “peep” detail you have here, especially if Rizumu became the “Poster Peep” since she spread the expression around the group.

She kicks off conversations by asking whatever they do at night, what hobbies they enjoy or compliments on their attire or physical appearance if she likes what she sees.

This is pretty typical for most people, I think, but this does go to show one unique side of Rizumu: she’s comfortable, even glad to be the one to start the conversation. I think this fits her well as a performing artist!

She is also well to adapt to places having experience in both classes.

The phrasing of this confused me a little (I thought “both classes” was referring to like, the 77th and 78th class or something). I don’t think it’s right to say “both classes,” here since are more than two socioeconomic classes, but you do have a strong case in saying Rizumu has experienced life both impoverished and wealthy (though, she’s spent a much longer time in her upper-class household, as far as I can tell, so you should take that into account too!)

And speaking of classes while she may be seen as a “street rat” to the upper class, Rizumu can be shown to be smart in both street wise and school wise.

I don’t necessarily think this can’t be true, but so far, you haven’t shown me any evidence that is is. As far as “street smarts” go, I’ve seen Rizumu… not die, and I guess she broke up a fight one time, though it did get her seriously injured. As far as “school smarts” go, I haven’t really seen anything. Again, it’s fine if she is smart in these ways, of course, but you’ve got to show us how!

In time, she can think of a fitting nickname for people, which has become a bit of a habit for her which she got from the streets. Only they optionally have a deeper meaning to some.

(For example, Rizumu would call Aoi Asahina “Ducky” like those yellow rubber duckies one may have in the bath. Ducks swim in water, which the element suits her talent. And as it’s the colour yellow it suits her cheeriness. And it’s also from her duck face emotion.)

I have no idea what you’re talking about…

Again, though, another solid little detail! You’ve got a lot of good ones like this.  

However her choice of nicknames can sometimes differ to sound mean in negative situations or when she actually gets mad. When in despair situations, she’d be shock like all the others, but would turn to anger as a reaction rather than be sad about it, which she gets rid of all that energy through dancing, either through her own tunes in her headphones or DDR in her room.

Nice, nice, we’re getting some good detail here, namely that she turns to anger to express her negative emotions rather than sadness and that she’s found productive means of releasing said anger.

Patience for her is also an issue. She dislikes silence to the point she has to tap her feet after ten seconds have passed. To her when silence rises, the mind wanders. And Rizumu doesn’t want the silence to take her back to her past.

More good stuff here, though there’s more to patience than just waiting for something to happen in the immediacy, you know? How is Rizumu, for example, in terms of long-term planning or putting up with people beating around the bush rather than facing conflict head-on?

Rizumu doesn’t always understand what heart has in mind. She makes a vow to cut off her past life, yet she still tends to hold onto some kind of memento, whether through physical expression, gesture, photo or item. But she doesn’t look back at any photo’s or items from her former life, unless its with someone she trusts highly, but she also worries about her “chance” leaving the same way her dad did.

Her “chance” being the people who she trusts?

Which is one of the reasons on preferring to be with a group instead of a duo or solo.

I feel like there’s a bit of contradictory, confusing information here, specifically about “keeping a photo” and “not looking back on any photos.” so I’m going to try and sum it up the best I can: Rizumu doesn’t always know how she’ll come to terms with her own past. While she still keeps physical mementos of it, she avoids thinking about it or talking about it unless she’s with someone she trusts.

I’m also glad to see you’re addressing some of her abandonment anxiety! “Being part of a group makes me feel more secure in my place than being part of a duo or by myself” makes a lot of sense and adds a good dimension to Rizumu.

She is quite bitter towards those achieve talent through their heritage and boast about it, but she’ll allow to hear what her enemies and rivals have to say before owning them sassing them out.

So here, you’re equating “people who brag about inherited talent” and “Rizumu’s enemies,” right? It’s fine that you are, of course--they do seem like the kind of people she wouldn’t get along with--but just so you’re aware of that implication!

You know, though, I’d be interested in seeing what other people make of Rizumu and her talent in this regard. While she really got into urban dancing when she was homeless, her mother did pay for expensive (?) private school ballet and pushed her towards dancing. While Rizumu’s situation certainly wasn’t Good by any stretch of the mind, do you think people would bring that up to her? How would she react to other people implying that she only got her talent due to her heritage?

When meeting others, there’s a chance they’ll make her see her worth, accept her and her past and make her feel comfortable about her gender

Her misgivings about her past and discomfort with regard to gender were touched on briefly (though I’d like some more details with most of them too, honestly), but you haven’t mentioned any anxieties about her self-worth. You mention it briefly later in the form, but you’d be best off bringing these up (and explaining them) in the background or earlier in the personality section!

Other Hobbies or Talents: Dancing is pretty much her characterisation, but despite sticking to fast music and dance types and hating ballet, she can have a bit of knowledge on other dance origins. Since coming to the streets, Rizumu had gained experiences in parkour and rollerblading which she got from Shouji Konda. She does go to the arcades often as she can with him and Hitomi Yoko. Her other hobby is Graffiti, which she learned from Hitomi.

So these hobbies seem a little bit like Rizumu stepped out of Jet Set Radio. Which isn’t a bad thing, but it’s a little... archetypical? Stereotypical? Like she’s trying to check all the boxes for “Rebellious Urban Teen.” I’m curious to know whether Rizumu just got into these activities because she likes them, or if she uses them to leverage the image of the Graffiti Streakerz to appeal to other rebellious teens.

I’m also curious about graffiti as a hobby. I’m not sure where Rizumu lives, but I know Tokyo is full of graffiti, and a lot of it carries a political undercurrent--was she into that scene at all? Did she have any messages she wanted to get out?   

Rizumu can work with materials like fabric which she got from her family, but keeps quiet on saying it was her work and was something she found. She even created her dance crew’s wear by herself

My mother speaks Spanish and loves woodworking--both of which she does fairly often and both of which I have absolutely no idea how to do. What I’m saying is, you usually don’t learn skills from your parents just by watching them, unless you have some natural predisposition as a child and you’re actively trying to learn. And since the latter doesn’t seem true, and it doesn’t seem like Rizumu’s mother was particularly inclined to teach her any kind of sewing, design, or textile work… It’s kind of hard to believe she has those skills, even with her background!

Also, under that logic she found some perfectly-tailored, aesthetically-accurate uniforms for her entire crew? I’m just curious to know how she went about explaining that!

In a despair setting, would your character kill, or be killed? Despite earning a name for herself, Rizumu degrading from her mother and hate from her sisters makes her question if she’s worthy of it.

That’s terrible, but that’s good! I mean, not good, of course, but it’s important that you bring this up because it’s a realistic consequence of familial abuse and… well, because it’s something you mention Rizumu struggling with. It would be good if you detailed it further, as well: do these anxieties still plague her (as severely) now that it sounds like she has a solid group with her? Does she feel justified anger towards her family for what they did, or does she still harbor a lot of the blame herself?

She saw nothing else other than to dance because that was the only memory that made her happy. Any “chance” she got had to be set aside or thrown away due to her vow to change.

I’m going to be honest, I’m… not quite sure what this means. What does the “chance” refer to--the chance to go back to her family, or to make it so her parents split in the first place? The chance that was referenced above--people she trusts, or who make her feel good about herself?

To this day, she still wants to know where her dad is, but would never go to the extreme such as killing someone to find out.

Well, it’s good to know that, both for the questions’ sake and for some answers about her father. From both this question and the one below it I’m figuring it’s not likely Rizumu would kill anyone, but is there any other reason she’d more likely end up as the victim?

What would happen if your character did kill? If she does become blackened it would be to prevent a second murder or sacrifice herself to be the victim as long as a second doesn’t occur after her so the game would continue, because she wasn’t going to give up on life.

When you say “sacrifice herself to be the victim,” do you mean something along the lines of what Tanaka and Nidai did in chapter four? Even then, that was done in an act of sheer desperation (if those two didn’t die, everyone else would have, unlike every other motive we saw)--so you’re really saying Rizumu wouldn’t likely kill someone. Totally fine, but it might be good to address other motives besides her father. How would she feel if the motive threatened Shouji or Hitomi, or her entire dance crew? Or if a motive would cripple or remove her legs, potentially destroying her dancing career and her only means of escape and survival from her past life? It’s still possible she wouldn’t kill over it, but would those affect her?

“A beating heart is a chance of Hope.”

I don’t dislike this quote, but I just want a little more context behind it--is it something Rizumu would say, a philosophy she follows, something she came to believe in a hypothetical killing game?

However, if she did get her “chance” through this killing life she would do she could to keep them alive. She would even cry because she was the one that was going to disappear out of their life instead of the other way around, but would make them promise to try and keep living

Oh! Okay, okay, I think I get it--this “chance” in quotes refers to someone she can really trust and open up to, and who she feels comfortable around to present as she wants to? That’s great--it makes a lot of sense that Rizumu would strongly attach to someone or a small group of people who really accepted her. That said, you probably want to explain it in a more straightforward manner earlier in the form, because like I said, I’ve been a… little confused.

If your character was found guilty of a murder, what would their execution look like?

Dance, Dance, Rizumu! or Street Rat Dance Trap: Rizumu is centred on a dance floor of pink, blue and yellow (The colours of the steps in Pump It Up), dancing her final dance in front of a lot of Monokumas and the students still living. All was going well until the beat ended. The yellow spots turned sticky, barely movable unless done so slowly. The pink and blue spots were sensors and pressure plates to activate hazards.

Rizumu moved to get to the back of the stage, where the exit lied from the shining of white but the glue traps prevented her from keeping up with the beat and the hazards from the sensors or pressure plates were triggered by the Monokuma crowd booing and throwing things at her as well as Monokuma switching the dance stage’s spots around. Everything seemed to end when her neck wound got reopen by a glass bottle shard and let out a scream which led everything to silence and darkness.

Rizumu was now lying on the stage, her clothes that had remained were torn and wrecked, but she was still alive. She lifted her upper body up slowly to look at where she saw the students, but she can’t move her arms and legs due to the glue or being trapped under the collapsed part of the stage so she could only look up as the spotlight of what is actually a disco ball that hanged on a thread fall on top of her and kill her with Monokuma on top of it holding a pair of scissors and laughing.

I like the idea of this execution, but I feel like you might not have gotten quite what you were picturing into words here--at least, I had a little bit of trouble visualizing it! Was the stage made of a bunch of changing, multicolored tiles, like a fancy dance floor at a club or an RPG puzzle, or was it literally like a Pump it Up/DDR stage, where the tiles showed where Rizumu was supposed to dance? What were the hazards that were triggered--or were they just what the Monokuma crowd was throwing at her? Why did the stage collapse--was that one of the blue/pink tile hazards, or something else?

Again, I like the execution, and her neck wound being reopened is really fitting! I think it just needs a bit more detail and transition so the reader can follow along with it more easily!

(This execution fits in with Rizumu and her talent. The irony to this execution is Rizumu dislikes slow music dances and always danced on stage with a group, no duos or solos. The reason why is connected to her past and that she did dance at a very young age, up until she found her true talent let’s just say there was a lot of standing still in life and moving slow in dance. Dancing was her way of running or fleeing while standing her ground, so she had to dance her way out of her execution. When she stopped or there was no beat to hear, she could only then dwell on past thoughts which leads to her fear of being anchored by her sadness she tried to hold back or convert through dancing.)

While I think the execution, at its best, should be able to explain this through showing without telling, I am glad you included it here!

Other information: Since her heart can throb for either gender from whatever sets her off, Rizumu is bisexual, despite her believing she’s asexual.

Ha, that’s an interesting way to phrase it! One thing, though, is that I think you can be bi and ace at the same time--not to say Rizumu is or isn’t either way, but just keep that in mind!

She used to have a pet crested cockatoo she called Bop that her mother got for decor, since a dog or cat would ruin fabric. However, he didn’t do much until Rizumu stuck on her favourite tunes and began dancing with her. They were true companions, but due to her competitive sisters wanting to play with the bird and her mother living up to be The Damsel of Design eager to finish her work, Rizumu discovered Bop dead in the front garden with his wrecked cage and all his feathers gone to make a hat, so Rizumu had to give him a proper burial.

Okay, so this is a bit of a nitpick, but cockatoo feathers aren’t really used in making hats--even if Rizumu’s mother was desperate, she probably wouldn’t have come up with a great looking product. Also, are you implying her sisters helped kill this bird out of jealousy? Because… yeesh.  

Shouji and Hitomi made her feel better by giving a cage Hitomi bought and a cockatoo from Shoji’s house which Rizumu called Jig.

Alright, then, time for some final thoughts!

Like a lot of the DR OCs I review, my biggest suggestion is that you include some more detail. Not that you make the form much longer or pad it out, necessarily, but that you elaborate on and explain some of the concepts you’ve already brought up.

I think my issues with Rizumu’s backstory are clear by the number of questions I ask, right? While I’m not inherently opposed to any of the concepts you bring up (her parent’s wedding, her father leaving, her mother’s and sisters’ abuse, her entry into urban dancing, the people she meets after she becomes homeless), the main problem is… you just kind of bring them up, with no attempt to explain the more unrealistic elements.  

Her personality is a little better on this front, especially when it elaborates on topics brought up in the backstory (like Rizumu’s lack of self-worth stemming from her mother’s abuse), but it still suffers from some underdeveloped concepts holding it back--for and example I brought up earlier, you say Rizumu is both book and street smart, and… that’s it. No showing them, no bringing up accomplishments requiring them, no mentioning them later.

Another common trend I noticed over much of the form, though I think it was most noticable at the end of the backstory and during the execution, is that I think you have all of the details and story in mind and don’t quite translate all of those ideas to writing--I only bring it up because that’s something I struggle with a lot when I’m writing. We just have to remember that the reader doesn’t have all of the context and visualization that we, the writer, have come up with. Any interpretation they’re going to do, they have to do only with the words we give them--so we have to make sure to give them enough that they know what’s going on!

I kind of smacked you with my big complaints right out of the gate, but there’s a lot going on with this form that I really do like, too! Like I brought up a few times, you’ll often throw out a small but really good detail: the Grafitti Streakerz, the nicknames, Rizumu dancing on her father’s feet, “Poster Peep.” Little things like that really add to Rizumu’s character and the setting you’re trying to build up for her without sticking too much baggage to the form; I really love those!

Furthermore, even if it’s not always explained in the clearest way, you seem to have a really solid direction in which you want to take Rizumu. Ninety percent of the issues I brought up in the personality and background sections are easily fixed with a bit more explanation and detail, because the skeleton for a well fleshed-out character is very much already here--she just needs, well, some more fleshing out!

The detailed headcanon meme?? ALL OF THEM

Of course you would make me do this... God I hate you.

What does their bedroom look like?

I’ve never thought of these before, I probably won’t go into full detail on each room but some basics. Maybe one day I’ll post pictures to give ideas.

Tracey: it’s pretty clean. She and Bucky keep it clean compared to her work area which is a mess with files and other things for the team with the occasional misplaced paintbrush.

Barry: clean (only because of Darcy) and has a stack of movies and video games in the corner next to his game system at the TV.

Do they have any daily rituals?

Besides work and missions they just do their own thing.

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

Every day. There’s a gym in the tower and compound so they use that to their advantage. Tracey likes to take the dogs for a walk in Central Park; Wanda Sharon or Bucky sometime joins Barry does his own thing.

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

They both have their own floors in the tower so they’d just make dinner in their own kitchens, but the compound has probably at least two kitchens (maybe I’m making this stuff up), probably one for the team and another for the recruits that we see at the end of AOU. But I think they’d just try and find room to make their own dinner or just wait.

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

Tracey: Clean around house/floor/room/wherever she lives, but her desk is a slight mess.

Barry: Clean with the occasional mess here and there.

Eating habits and sample daily menu

Barry eats a good bit during the day and Tracey eats regular meals with snacks here and there.

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

Tracey: Painting or reading

Barry: Video games or movies

Their thoughts on wasting time is they either hate it because it’s honestly wasting time they could be working or they are really happy because it’s actually free time from work.

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

Tracey: She loves to snack on either something salty or something sweet. Some days it’s pretzels with peanut butter and other days it’s chips.

Barry: He loves to keep his mind going. He either

Makeup?

Tracey varies on makeup and it depends on the occasion. She can go from no makeup to light makeup on a casual day or full face of makeup for parties or something.

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

None that I can think of.

Intellectual pursuits?

I guess to challenge themselves at small things every now and then? I’ve never thought about it.

Favorite book genre?

Tracey: Fantasy and romance

Barry: Scifi and mystery

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

Both are straight and they support any sexual orientation.

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

Tracey has a scar from where Bucky stabbed her in the abdomen, but that’s it. Probably going to get one on her leg from where he shot her too.

Biggest and smallest short term goal?

Get their to do lists of the week done without being stopped by missions/work.

Biggest and smallest long term goal?

I guess have a family for both really. Tracey has always wanted to be featured in an art gallery though.

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

They wear just whatever they like and are comfortable in. I think Barry is more of jeans and shirt kind of guy, but Tracey likes to look cute/fashionable every now and then.

Favorite beverage?

Tracey: Any kind of tea

Barry: Soda

What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Depending on what’s going on in their lives. Tracey might be thinking of a new project to work on whether it’s with her computer or a painting or if Bucky is out on a mission (or in this current case missing) she thinks and worries about him. Barry if he has a mission the next day keeps going over the details and plans in his head or if he is out on a mission he thinks of his family.

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

None.

Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

I’m not sure if we are talking sexually or not.

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Tracey: Draw

Barry: Doodle

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

Tracey can be organized. She makes sure to clean up any messes she makes while cooking or something else and she makes sure the house/floor/room/whatever is clean. But when it comes to her “art studio” (which is actually just a spare room) it’s messy and then there’s her desk where she works on her computer. It’s like a organized chaos.

Barry is pretty clean, but if he’s in a hurry he will be pretty messy.

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

Tracey: Art and computer science. With a bit of literature.

Barry: Math, science and history.

How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

Back together with the entire team and happy. Possibly (hopefully) with families.

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

Tracey is looking for Bucky and depending on his mental state and how long it might take to recover him she will wait to marry him.

Barry plans to propose to Darcy soon.

What is their biggest regret?

What happened during Civil War.

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Tracey: It’s a tie with Wanda, Sharon and Nat. Best guy friends would be Sam and Steve.

Barry: Clint.

Worst enemies: All the villains they fight?

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

They usually have a game plan, but they’d be a little shocked. Barry would be a little more calm than Tracey though.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

They’d be devastated and a little closed off at first.

Most prized possession?

Tracey: Bucky’s dog tags.

Barry: A keychain his dad got him from Germany before he died.

Thoughts on material possessions in general?

Understandable if it has meaning.

Concept of home and family?

They want to live a somewhat normal life with a family despite their jobs and who they are.

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

They like to keep their privacy to an extent. Being a part of the Avengers means tabloids will want interviews or write some scandal on them. Paparazzi will follow them. But when it comes to their friends/family/team they might share some stuff depending on what that stuff is.

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Basically anything that is their hobbies or a way anyone wastes time on a day off. The team sometimes has movie nights when everyone isn’t out on a mission or have competitions in sports or games/video games.

What makes them feel guilty?

Depends on the situation like if they feel it’s their fault or something of that nature. Civil War for sure because they end up fighting each other and their friends/family.

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

Barry: Analytical

Tracey: Emotional

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

I guess they are a bit of both. Barry’s definitely competitive with the guys and Tracey isn’t as much, but she gets competitive with Barry but they are twins so that’s a given after growing up together.

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Napping, small snack and maybe doing something that they find relaxing like reading, painting, watching Netflix. Something that just lets them be in their own world for a bit.

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

Neither. But I guess Tracey had an inferiority-complex when she first joined the team since she couldn’t fight or anything besides hacking.

How misanthropic are they?

Not really. I mean they both have their thoughts on some issues and people.

Hobbies?

Tracey: Painting and reading

Barry: Video games

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

Tracey: Completed college, got her bachelors in computer science with a minor in art (shocker)

Barry: Finished college but was recruited by S.H.I.E.L.D. by his senior year. so my headcanon is that S.H.I.E.L.D. has some sort of school course or something for those who didn’t complete college or were recruited at a young age. Or something.

Religion?

I’ve never thought about it for them. I’m Catholic so I guess they’d be Catholic? I never really put religion into any of my characters. I might mention going to church in future chapters or stories with them, but not in full detail or anything.

Superstitions or views on the occult?

None

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

Both depending on what the situation is.

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

Tracey: Bucky

Barry: Darcy

How do they express love?

Dinner, gifts, small things here and there. I’m too tired to give full descriptions of this.

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

Tracey: Throw punches. She can barely fight.

Barry: He calculates the opponents

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

I think everyone is afraid of it at some point.

Em, I hate you for this. Also I’m sorry it took so long to answer. I’ve been busy helping my parents with moving furniture to a house they built for the past week and hardly had wifi or time to do anything. And this just took way too long that I just gave up on answering some of these.