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#and LITERALLY the next day this dude out of nowhere decided to be super passive aggressive because of something very minor
heavierthanlaila · 8 months
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allah surely is the most merciful and he truly does listen to your duaas and he indeed answers all of them.
#i literally made duaa few days ago and said ya allah if this person is bad for me or if this relationship is making you angry with me pls#take him out of my life#(i was only talking to this guy to know him better for the sake of marriage)#and LITERALLY the next day this dude out of nowhere decided to be super passive aggressive because of something very minor#so i confront him and express my feelings clearly and calmly but get a little mean at the end and his reaction is why are you being mean lol#so i explained why and he was like even if let's say i was mean why would you be mean to me in return???#LMAOOO#like...#so i said so you get to be passive-aggressive and give me the silent treatment and i dont even get to protest in a harsh tone?????#but i didnt argue i just said i really thought you were better than this and that was that#he left just as quickly as he came into my life#the funny thing tho was when he said that he doesn't like it when i use “big words” like manipulation and passive-aggressive#like so he even wants to dictate how i express myself let alone be angry that he crossed my boundaries and was doing something i found annoy#honestly egyptian/arab men are indeed something else#I'm just sad that i let him disturb my peace tbh#I'm glad it's over because I dont have time for some elementary school kid trapped in a 29 year old body#he even made me seriously question myself like if i was that rude or that inconsiderate but honestly it was just him being too insecure#alhamdulilah he is out of my life#I'm so grateful that allah is my wakeel because he surely won't let me down
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onestowatch · 6 years
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POLAROIDS + Q&A’s: The 6 Best Emerging Acts from Bottlerock 2018
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Bottlerock really stepped up its game this year, featuring a stellar line up with headliners like The Killers and Bruno Mars. In terms of emerging act, the Napa Valley festival typically showcases an amazing “sampler platter” of the newest and coolest acts to keep an eye out for. From indie rock to alt-pop and everything in-between, we picked our favorites from the festival this year -- scope interviews & polaroids with each below.
AMY SHARK
Amy Shark just came off a US tour with MILCK, which included many sold out shows. Yet, Amy somehow still sees herself as only a “normal girl from Australia.” Her songs are vibey and most importantly real with honest lyrics all written by Shark herself. She has a connection with her audience when she’s on stage that makes fans instantly fall in love. Her new album Love Monster is set for a July release. 
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OTW: Tell us about your current single, “I Said Hi.” 
Amy: “I Said Hi” was a song that was always going be written by me because it's kind of a real passive aggressive anthem for my struggle in the music industry for a good ten years. I think the main thing I want to communicate in that song is just whenever you are waking up every morning, trying to fight for whatever you believe in — you just need to keep going. As much as it's very personal about my experiences, I definitely wanted to keep it open for everyone to be able to connect with. It’s like anyone that's just been trying, and trying, and trying and getting nowhere, having no one believe in you — and then you get somewhere on your own merit and it's the best feeling in the world. It actually started when I signed to my manager, and he kept telling me, "I've got a meeting with John Smith or whatever." And it'd be someone that I had tried to get a meeting with — And I just ended up saying, "Tell him I said hi." And that was how it started, and then this one day I just found that melody.
OTW: Your single, “Adore You” has over 37 Million spins on Spotify to date, how do you feel about that?
Amy: The last time I actually celebrated was when I hit a million streams —  I was like, popping bottles! That's just so many people listening to it. It's great. It's amazing. America is such a big base for an Australian to tackle, so I'm just going to each city, and playing shows and meeting great people and artists, and working with great producers and that's just where I'm at at the moment.
OTW: Can you tell us anything about your upcoming album, Love Monster? 
Amy: Love Monster is, I mean, I like to describe it as the first season. You know, when you just start watching a season on Netflix, and it's really exciting and that's what you can think about? There's romance, and lies, and passion and there's probably a death — that's what I feel like this record is. It's got so much personal, but angsty, heartache and passion. It's like a first series of a really great Netflix drama.
OTW: What’s next for you?
Amy: There's going to be more festivals — I'm doing Lollapalooza. It's so funny to even say that — and doing a big tour at home. Then, I'll be back here in the fall, to tour.
OTW: Who would you say is your “One To Watch”?
Amy: The Smith Street Band. They're super Australian, they're like punk rock, and his lyrics are just gonna destroy you. It's so amazing. It's punk, but Will Wagner is such an amazing songwriter — and they're not even really sort of trying.
BILLY RAFFOUL
We’ve covered Billy Raffoul since his first single “Driver,” which was released last year, followed by stellar singles “Dark Four Door” and “Difficult.” His newest single, “I’m Not A Saint,” was co-written with Grammy Award nominee Julia Michaels before she decided to go out on her own as an artist. Billy’s sound is a Nashville-leaning modernized take on classic rock with a soulful raspy vocal that’ll likely make anyone a fan after just one listen.
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OTW: Tell us about the writing process for “I’m Not A Saint.” 
Billy: It came from a conversation I had with a friend [and the] co-writer, Julia Michaels. That was the first time that we had met, which was three years ago. I was really nervous — I didn't know who she was. She didn't really know who I was, she had heard my voice and I had heard from a mutual friend who went on to be my publisher that she was incredible —  [and] bound for greatness. I was nervous — I swear all the time and then maybe a little more when I'm scared. At some point, we just started shooting the shit about things that we do that we shouldn't do — it was all just a joke. At some point I had said, "I'm not a saint, but I could be if I tried," like as a joke. She said, "Well, there's a song," and that was it.
OTW: Who are you most excited to see at Bottlerock?
Billy: I'd love to check out Muse, of course. We saw The Struts already and I love The Struts so much — good buddies of mine. I would've liked to see LANY.
OTW: what's next for you? 
Billy: Back to the studio — I'm working with some great people, producing some music, songs that I've written. Working with Linda Perry next week. I'm going to put a song out every four weeks.
OTW: Who would you say is your “One to Watch”?
Billy: Jessie Reyez — She put out a new tune a little while ago called "Body Count." It’s fucking awesome — So good.
THE NIGHT GAME
You might remember a tune called “The Great Escape” by an emo band called Boys like Girls. The former emo band was fronted by singer Martin Johnson, who started a new project called The Night Game, but it 100% different from Boys Like Girls. In fact, The Night Game sounds more like a modernized classic rock throwback like Don Henley of The Eagles’ solo career. After a break from being in the spotlight and writing for artists like Avril Lavigne, Martin decided it was time to return back to center stage, which has excited both old and new fans alike.
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OTW: Tell us about your newest single, “American Nights?” 
Martin: It's funny, it kind of started out as a party anthem, like that was a little bit like just a song I was writing from the outside. [I] wasn't even sure it was going to be for me as an artist, but slowly kind of came into vision what it was really about — it's like the classic American blueprint, like “Born in the USA,” you know that kind of not-so-hidden message. What I got from that was like the upbeat sort of positive chorus that I had, [and] in the verses, I could show the true characters and the truth in what America is. I isolated three characters that stuck out of my head as the three sides of the coin and then included myself a little bit in there and, it's just about how everybody's got this undying search for the American Dream. Even if you don't live here, you do.
OTW: People have compared your sound to Bruce Springsteen and Don Henley with a strong 80’s vibe, what do you think of that? Did you do that on purpose?
Martin: Not really. It's funny — a lot of journalists have been saying 80s, 80s, 80s, but it's like, I kinda grew up in the 90s — I'd be too young to remember the culture of the 80s. My influences in formative years — I was doing musical theater. I [would be] in a show listening to the soundtrack, and I was in a little ska band — my background musically is very weird. Obviously, I'd listen to classic records that you would say influenced what this kind of is, but at the same time — I think a song should tell a story. A song's about a story, and an emotion and I wanted every sound that was on the record to tie into what that emotion was, based on lyrics. When I was making the songs, it wasn't really like, "Man, I need this to sound really specifically like this record from 1982 and you can only use this drum machine..." I just did what felt good and if chorus guitar chords felt good, then it's what I did.
OTW: You have an extensive background as a writer/producer, in between the time from Boys Like Girls to this project — how did you decide to make the jump back to being an artist?
Martin: You know, at the time it was really working for me, so I just kept at it. I lost track of who I was — I don't know if it all has to be negative in this big sob story. A lot of times in interviews they make this whole thing, "I lost track of what my musical identity was and I missed telling stories," which is true, but at the same time it was like, dude, it was fun. I've been quoted saying this before, — you get your first guitar, you're a kid, and then you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like, “I'm going to rock.” I did lose that kid, and I had an opportunity to say, "Hey man, before the gray hairs come in I want to sing.” I really want to sing and started playing music because I wanted to sing, I wanted to tell stories, I wanted to write songs — I have more stories to tell.
OTW: Who would you say is your “One to Watch”?
Martin: The Band CAMINO. We took them out on tour, they're really great. I like those kids.
JACOB BANKS
Jacob Banks has been releasing music since 2013, but he made his Coachella performance debut earlier this year and is currently recording his first full-length album. Jacob says about his songwriting, “I'm always two months ahead. You're hearing songs that I recorded a year ago. So once I put them out I'm thinking, okay, I've already written something else that I'm excited about.” His sound is a wonderful mix of modernized American Blues and Gospel, and his vocals will literally soothe your soul.
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OTW: “Unknown (To You)” has over 10 million spins, how does that feel?
Jacob: The ungrateful answer is to say I don't care, which is kind of my answer, but at the same time I'm grateful because people have listened to it. But at the same time, I think if we quantify success via spins, I don't think it's a fair representation of how much a song means to someone. It just means they listen to it — it doesn't mean 10 million people love your songs. I'm more amazed that people come to my shows — you're choosing to spend your time. I think that's a more wonderful accolade for me.
OTW: What is “Unknown (To You)” about?
Jacob: It's kind of like, “say how you really feel.” Over the years, I think it's become more about just communication, especially between the dynamic of men. I think we're raised to feel as though speaking is some hard task, and it creates so much division between us and how we treat the whole world. Because we're just not raised or taught how to speak, and to be open in what we say. [James Blake] put out a song called “Don't Miss It,” and he released a statement saying every time he puts out music people always say “Sad Boy,” and he's like “Why can't I just share my emotions without being temperamental, or being classed as sad boy?” I think we're currently in the highest state of depression among men, and suicides, so I think it's important for men to share how they feel. In the same way I see some women crave men who talk to them, but in the event that they do, I see women say, "he's too nice for me." Aka, I'm not used to this kind of love. I'm not used to someone who actually wants to hear me.
OTW: What was it like working with Louis The Child?
Jacob: It was dope — we were only in the studio for one day. We wrote two songs, which one of that was “Diddy Bop.” They're just homies, man. It's always good working with friends — I spend time with them when I'm out in LA. I think it's rare that happens as well. It's work. You don't go to work and make friends with everyone you work with. It's very few people that hang around because you have some sort of special connection. They're really good guys as well, I'm a fan of their work.
OTW: What’s next for you?
Jacob: We just came off tour with X Ambassadors, we've been touring for like a year and a half straight. We're doing festivals until the end of September, and then September, I hope to drop an album.
OTW: Who would you say is another artist who is ‘One To Watch’ for you? 
Jacob: There's a lady called Maro that I absolutely adore. She does like really jazz inspired stuff, but she sings half in Portuguese and half in English — and she's the best thing since sliced bread for me.
RIVVRS
RIVVRS, AKA Brandon Zahursky is actually from Napa Valley, where Bottlerock takes place. And conveniently, many of the songs in his library contrast what it was like to grow up in Napa versus being a working musician in Los Angeles. His newest single, “Burn Me Up,” is the perfect example of his experiences with the egos of the entertainment industry as opposed the simpler life he lived before. RIVVRS’ sound could be described as Mumford and Sons with a dash of the ‘80s raspy icon, Bryan Adams — take a listen for yourself and see.
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OTW: What was the inspiration behind "Burn Me Up”? 
RIVVRS: I moved to L.A. four years ago from [Napa], so you can imagine — It was a beautiful life up here, and it just kinda turned to egos — all these things kinda caught up to me. I'd say I definitely entered a phase of just not being comfortable in my own skin. [Which] is why I titled the first record Unfamiliar Skin, cause I wasn't feeling very comfortable in this whole new industry. I wrote [the song] to my girlfriend, with the intention of it being if all of this doesn't work out, I want you to know that I will still go back to the life we had — the lyric is "I could've had everything, but I don't want everything. I want you, and I want you to burn me up," — meaning "I want you to burn up my past self, so the person that I was when I wasn't the most comfortable being myself, I want that erased from your memory. I don't want that light to be the only light you see me in.”
OTW: Who are you most interested in seeing at Bottlerock? 
RIVVRS: Shakey Graves and Muse were the two I wanted to see today.
OTW: Who would you say is another artist is a one to watch? 
RIVVRS: Billy Raffoul.
FLOR
You wouldn’t get that flor has a comedic side by listening to their music — in fact, you’d likely think they were very serious after listening to the songs on their album, come out. you’re hiding. The tunes on their debut album have a synth-pop mellow vibe that fans have taken notice to — and likely are anxiously waiting for album number two to drop sometime this year. As for comedic elements, most of the guys were happy with being around wine for the weekend, except McKinley who couldn’t seem to decide on any drink of choice while in the nation’s most popular wine destination — seemingly a problem.
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OTW: Is it true that you use voice memos to help remember your ideas for songs?
Dylan: It's interesting when you're doing a voice memo. Just out of the blue, you're listening [back] to it and you know the rhythm when you're recording it, but then you listen to it two days later and you have no idea what the rhythm is supposed to be. 
Zach: Yeah, it ends up sounding like some avant-garde classical piece. It just doesn't make any sense.
OTW: Why did you decide to title the album, come out. you’re hiding? 
Zach: Originally I wanted it to be Come Out of Your Hiding, and I was like, "that sounds messed up.” So I dropped a word and now it doesn't make any sense. But that's exactly why I like it. You can interpret that how you want. 
McKinley: It's about the insecurities of releasing something you've been working on and creating for years in your bedroom.
Dylan: ...And then all of a sudden you're putting it out to the world and, I mean, we got lucky and everyone, or a lot of people, liked it.
OTW: Do you ever get nervous when releasing new music?
Zach: I knew that our fans were going to love it. Like, we'd been touring a little bit. I knew that they were going to appreciate it. It was terrifying to me —I don't actually go on YouTube to this day and I don't look at any comments because it's still terrifying to me.
McKinley: It's kind of scary putting yourself out there like that. And especially, it was our debut album. It might get scarier from here on out, cause we have expectations to fill.
OTW: Can you tell us anything about album two or future music?
McKinley: I feel like we feel confident about album two. And then maybe I'm scared of album three cause it's like four years away.
Zach: There's enough songs written, but we can write more and we can write better. And if we write more and better, then maybe we have zero songs for the album ready.
McKinley: [It’s] been a constant battle for us — that's why we did a deluxe version of our album. Some of the songs we wrote, at this point, like four years ago. Like our biggest single, "Hold On," we wrote when we were like 21 — and then it came out two years later. We probably have thirty-something songs sitting on the back burner right now. There's also no consistency in how those songs come to be — you can not write a song for three months, and then Zach will write six songs in a week.
OTW: Who would you say is your “One To Watch”?
McKinley: I would say Now, Now is a big one for us right now.
Dylan: They came out with a new record that just really, really resonated with all of us. It just sounds phenomenal. 
McKinley: I'm excited for the next COIN record [and] I think The Aces — They've got some cool stuff up their sleeves. Maybe an ace.
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elenahowl · 7 years
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The Story of Juho the Jahoo
Story time.  Strap in.  This is long.  
Here’s the story of Juho.  If you don’t speak Finnish, you should know that the J sound in Finnish is actually a Y sound like at the beginning of yellow.  So read the above as “You-ho the Yahoo”.  He is indeed a ho.  And he’s a yahoo.  And I don’t like him.  
I want you to picture the craziest fan you have ever known in your life.  Think of that person who’s obsessed with a celebrity so hard that you think they need help.  You know at least one of them.  Maybe you are that person.  Well, you are not as crazy as Juho.  
I met Juho at the anniversary of the opening of the Riff, a bar in Helsinki owned by the drummer for the 69 Eyes.  This was in late May, 2016.  I ended up talking to him because he was wearing a HIM shirt and I was wearing a HIM necklace and we just got chatting.  He was kinda cute.  Obviously he was trying to look like Ville Valo.  He has the 90s Ville hair and jacket going on and I think that’s cool.  Doesn’t really look much like Ville, which is probably exactly why I was attracted to him, but he pulls off the look well.  Whatever.  I’m actually kind of turned off by people who aren’t their own person.  If they’re twinning too hard with a celeb it’s a turn off.  
So I do kind of make a move on this guy because he’s attractive and friendly and he’s like “You’re cute and I’m flattered, but I have a girlfriend.”  I’m like okay, and I leave it at that.  I go about my way.  
Later in the evening, he approaches me.  Drags me over to meet his girlfriend.  I’m super drunk and I think I actually flirt with his girlfriend at some point, which obviously does not warm me to her.  Awkward.  Whatever, that’s not really an important part of the story.  Eventually she goes home.  Note that Sandra Mittica, Ville Valo’s infamous ex girlfriend, is there at the party and she and Juho know each other and I’m pretty sure that she knows Juho is absolutely bonkers, but I’m getting ahead of myself.  
So I’m there, Juho is talking to Sandra, I’m talking to these other two random guys from Turku and Rovaniemi, just two random guys having a conversation.  Juho comes over, literally pulls me out of the conversation I’m having, and pulls me to the back room.  I’m following all this because there’s something about Juho that’s interesting.  I don’t know what at this point, but it’s interesting, and I want to know what’s up in his head.  I end up in the back room.  Most of the conversation is in Finnish, Sandra’s there, Juho’s there.  Juho is making eyes at me.  I’m uncomfortable because 1, there’s a guy who has a girlfriend making his move on me and I don’t want to make the enemy of half of Helsinki (if you make one female enemy in Helsinki, you make a million female enemies in Helsinki; news travels fast), and 2, I’m in the room with the ex girlfriend of Ville Valo, a person whose name I have never heard said with reverence (Sandra’s, I mean, not Ville’s).  
I spoke briefly to Sandra.  She didn’t know clearly what was going on, but she could tell that there was something up between Juho and me.  She called me out on flirting with Juho.  I was actually low-key annoyed at Juho at this point because he was expecting me to follow him, telling me to be quiet, and just not being very pleasant.  Also, I’m not a passive person, as he’d learn about a month later…  
I’ll note that Sandra was not unpleasant.  in the Ville Valo fandom she gets a bad rep, yeah, but she wasn’t bad.  I didn’t speak with her long enough to get a sense of her actual personality, but she didn’t seem awful at least.  I’d tucked my Heartagram necklace into my shirt when I’d realized she was around, so she didn’t see that, but she saw my HIM wallet for sure and could tell I was a fan.  She wasn’t a monster to me, a HIM fan.  
The bar closes, Sandra says her goodbyes to Juho (they’re friends apparently?), and everyone tips out of there.  Juho beckons me out.  I follow because, well, we all have to get out anyway.  He offers me a cigarette.  This was before I became any kind of social smoker, so I said no.  He asked “Want to go back to my place?”  I said no.  No explanation.  All I said was “No.”  I walked away.  I thought I’d never see him again, I’d never find out what about him gave me a weird “you’re interesting” vibe.  
I went back to the bar a few days later.  Talked the the bartender.  He knows Juho pretty well.  I was kind of bitching over Juho and the bartender was defending him.  But it kind of felt like if the March Hare was defending the Mad Hatter, you know?  Two different crazies insisting the other isn’t crazy and that everyone’s fine and nothing is wrong. 
Soon after that, I leave Helsinki to go up north.  I come back at the end of June for a week.  So on June 29th I’m in the Riff late.  Really late.  I’d been out with a friend earlier and she’d went home, but I’d stuck around to drink and write and just enjoy being in Helsinki, my favorite place on earth. Chris Kael from from Five Finger Death Punch was hanging out there, so I got to meet him and talk to him, which was pretty cool.  
Around 2AM, Juho walks in.  I’m just like “…”
He sees me.  He recognizes me.  Says hello, all smiles.  Girlfriend is nowhere in sight.  He’s talking to some friends for a while while I’m talking to Chris.  At some point, Juho comes over and invites me out for a cigarette.  I accept.  
We sit outside talking.  He’s still attractive.  I have very little respect for him at this point, but I’m still intrigued by him somehow.  He tells me he’s having a problem with his girlfriend because he drinks so much and she doesn’t like that.  So he’s here at the Riff drinking more and talking with a girl he was hitting on in front of her a month ago?  Because logic.  
We get talking about Ville, about Sandra, about Ville’s dad.  About how both he and I are in weird positions where we’re fans of Ville but we’ve never met him and we’re just friends with people who are close to him.  We relate to each other like that.  
We go back in, do shots, and then he invites me home.  This time I say yes.  I wasn’t drunk enough that I was worried, and he was drunk and un-muscled enough that I could definitely fight him off, so I say why the fuck not.  I have no intention of sleeping with him, and I tell him that.  I also tell him that I would have gone home with him when we met if he hadn’t had a girlfriend.  Everything’s going fine…  Until we get to his apartment.  
Remember how I said to picture the craziest fan you can think of?  Allow me to introduce you to Juho.  I get into his apartment.  Previously, I’d only seen the fact that he tries to look like Ville a bit, wears HIM shirts, wears HIM jewelry, and has Ville as his phone background.  His apartment is a crazy person’s shrine to Ville.  No pictures of family or anything on the walls, only pictures of Ville.  His computer background is Ville.  His sheets are heartagram sheets, which I didn’t even know existed.  The first thing he did when we got in was put on HIM and a HIM concert video.  He starts showing off all his HIM merch.  Heartagram shirts, a backpack, a hat, a zillion beanies, a fucking pair of underwear hanging off a chair...   
Like, this is a fucking room full of crazy.  
So the total tally is: He tries to look like Ville.  He tries to act and sound like Ville.  He pulled a couple of “pickup lines” on me that were Ville quotes (which I called him out on because I’m not letting someone get away with bullshit), so he tries to talk like Ville.  He dresses like Ville. His room’s a shrine to Ville.  He listens to nothing but Ville.  He watches nothing but Ville.  He talks about nothing but himself and Ville.  All his technology is Ville-themed.  He has some of the same friends as Ville.  He smokes because Ville.  He’s a fucking alcoholic because of Ville.  He’s vegan because of Ville.  
He has no personality outside of Ville.  And it’s kind of creepy.  
He thinks he’s gonna sleep with me because he thinks he looks like Ville.  I’m just like no, dude, you have a girlfriend.  I actually have to push him off of me a couple of times, but I can’t really go anywhere because the busses had stopped by then and it was going to be another three hours before I could get home.  
We talk.  He says outright that he respects me more for not sleeping with him, for listening to him.  He tries to feed me vegan pasta, which would be good, except he can’t cook worth shit.  The kitchen is full of beer bottles.  It’s beyond bachelor pad.  It’s a cry for help.  He’s a mess because he has no identity outside of Ville.  
At 3:30AM his girlfriend calls.  I keep quiet.  His girlfriend decides she wants to come over NOW to talk shit out, so both me and Juho are like “shit.”  He sneaks me out really quickly and I’m like “You owe me one, man.”  He’s damn lucky I didn’t tell his girlfriend that he’s a cheater because I’d wanted to a month ago and still hadn’t.  He is low-key on my shit list at this point.  I make it out of the apartment and have to hide behind a trash bin on my way down the street so his girlfriend didn’t see me while she walks up the other side.  
I think hiding behind a trash bin at 3:40 in the morning in Helsinki is probably one of the lowest points in my life.  If you could put a soundtrack to that moment, it would be the James Bond theme song, but, like, played by a third-grader on a kazoo.  
I finally get home at 6:30AM.  I message him the next day to call him out on his shit and stuff.  He blocks me on messenger.  I’m pissed.  
I end up at the Riff again the next night.  I absolutely did not go because I was looking for him.  In fact, I was almost furious when I saw him there.  But the look he gives me… Oh I still feel powerful to this day from that look.  Fear.  Pure fear.  He’s afraid of me.  I corner him eventually.  He’s afraid and stuttering his words and all that.  I tell him to unblock me.  I tell him he needs to tell his girlfriend what’s going on.  He nods and stutters more and leaves to go to the Tuska festival pre-party with some friends.  He never does what I told him to do.  
I haven’t seen him since.  We’re still connected on facebook and such.  I see his updates and he’s still with his girlfriend.  He’s still a drunk ho.  He’s still a Ville-obsessed mess.  And he’s still on my shit list.  When I get back to Helsinki, he’s gonna have hell to pay.  
So if you ever feel like the crazy fan, think of Juho.  Next time you want to go to a celebrity’s house, think of Juho.  Always remember, never try to buy a personality at a rock merch shop.  Or you will end up like Juho.  Don’t end up like Juho.  
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