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birdiethebibliophile · 6 years

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{fic} That Old Sweet Feeling (part 11)

Fandom: The Adventure Zone: Commitment Rating: M Chapter Warnings: None Relationship: Nadiya Jones/Mary Word Count: 1,156

Here on AO3.

Read the rest: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Tagging @someone-called-f1nch, @voidfishkid, @mellowstarscape, and @jumpboy-rembrandt! (Let me know if you don’t want to be tagged.)

I’ll get back to Deep Plot next chapter, I promise, but I’ve been dying to write this chapter. I’m very happy.

Chapter Summary:

Mary Sage stocks up. Irene fights back. Kardala struggles with... herself.

__________________

Nadiya Jones was heavier than Remy was, Kardala thought, balancing her teammate’s unconscious body where it was thrown over her shoulder as she descended the ladder one-handed.

“Kardala, you – y’need any help?” Remy asked from below. He and Mary Sage of the robot angels had gone down ahead of her, and had already taken up residence in Nadiya Jones’s secret sewer hideout. Apparently, she had not been lying about the power bars, as Mary Sage had already raided the supplies and determined that for herself.

“Kardala is competent enough to bring one human, however abnormal or tall in stature, down a single ladder,” Kardala said scornfully, jumping off the ladder with five rungs to spare just to prove it. She landed hard but steadily, and Remy winced at the impact.

“Yeah, yeah, okay, just thought I’d ask,” Remy said nervously. There was a small blow-up mattress on the dry cement ground, and he was sitting on it. His leg was bouncing as if jolts of electricity were pulsing through him. He had his bag in his lap, clutching it with both hands.

He’s still injured, Irene snapped. His wrist –

Kardala shrugged off the persistent voice like an insect’s buzzing. Since her last manifestation, Irene Baker had been vocal. Awake. Much more so than other times, when Kardala could comfortably ignore her existence except as an unfortunate drawback that required her to stay close to her team, lest she revert forms. She set Nadiya Jones down on the mattress as well. Nadiya groaned and stirred, but did not awaken.

“She gonna be okay?” Mary Sage asked. Her voice, normally nearly as loud (though not as booming) as Kardala’s, was small. She was not sitting on the mattress, but was leaning against a pile of blankets nearby. Kardala could see many, many power bars in her pockets. Mary Sage, she thought with mild appreciation, was someone who knew how to plan ahead, as she herself did.

Kardala looked Nadiya Jones over critically. “We shall know soon enough,” she decided. “If not, there are still three of us. It will not impact our abilities.”

Without warning, Irene’s voice hit her hard enough she went cross-eyed. Don’t you dare let Nadiya die! Irene yelled, and Kardala could feel the full force of Irene’s considerable personality tear at her, attempting to turn her inside out. Don’t you fucking dare, Kardala –

“Kardala? You good?” Remy said uncertainly.

“Kardala is fine!” she said, forcing a smile. “I must…” She gestured vaguely towards the bend in the sewer line, then headed in that direction.

She’d only just gotten around the corner when Irene’s voice hit her again. And now you walk away? Your teammates are injured! You –

Why do you care so much for them, Irene Baker? Kardala snapped, cutting her off.

Why wouldn’t I?

I do not know. Is there a reason?

Irene was silent for a moment. Kardala’s mind was suddenly flooded with memories from outside the building, minutes before she manifested into her true form once more. She saw Nadiya Jones, towering over her in her mean stature, spitting words of cruelty.

At least, she knew them to be cruel because she could feel how they hurt Irene.

That wasn’t a very comfortable sensation. Or thought.

Why would you care about someone who hurt you like that? Kardala asked, genuinely perplexed.

She didn’t want to hurt me, Irene responded. She was scared. She’s just a kid, Kardala, Christ. They’re all just kids.

I am not a child.

Not you. Not me. But Nadiya, and even Mary and Remy, really. Nadiya… needed you. So she did what she thought she had to do.

Kardala knew she was not young. Irene was old compared to the others – from what Kardala knew of human ages (not much) she could’ve been Nadiya’s mother – but Kardala was different. She’d existed before Irene, and she would exist afterwards.

Probably.

If you won’t help them, I will, Kardala. Kardala doubled over, crumpling against the wall, as she felt that same sensation of something trying to turn her inside out. Irene – Irene was trying to escape.

Stop! Kardala commanded, but her voice didn’t carry the weight inside their head – her head, her head, it was hers, not Irene’s – I demand you stop, Irene Baker!

The hold on her loosened, and she gasped for breath, eyes clenched shut. The strain of mortal existence did not tax her often, but she felt now as she had directly after they had escaped the Fellowship: drained and weary.

You care about them too, Irene said at length, more calmly. Don’t try to pretend you don’t.

Kardala started to protest, but, unbidden, images sifted into her mind, this time from her own memory, not Irene’s. Remy huddled in the rubble of the collapsed room. Mary Sage curled against him, wide-eyed. Nadiya Jones being held over a drop that Kardala knew would kill a human – even one with the abilities Nadiya possessed.

She remembered the swoop of dread in her stomach, the way her lightning faded without her calling it back intentionally. For in that moment, she had imagined Nadiya Jones, crumpled and broken so many stories below, and she had rejected that. Immediately.

She had not been thinking about the consequence it would have on the team, the difficulty of keeping Irene Baker in check with only three members. She had been thinking only of Nadiya Jones, dead, and not liking it one bit.

See? Irene said. You care.

Kardala opened her eyes, looked down at her palms. They were broader than when she was Irene – than when Irene inhabited the body – than when – fuck, they were broader now, that’s what she knew. She still had the calluses on the insides of her fingers and the tops of her palms that she assumed came from Irene, though.

Rock climbing, Irene supplied.

You climb rocks?

Pretty typical in Colorado, Irene said, with what Kardala interpreted as a shrug.

Kardala rubbed her hands together. It was strange, the things that stayed. It bothered her. Made her feel like she was not fully… Kardala.

You’re not, Irene said, and Kardala couldn’t tell whether it was sharp or soft. Much of Irene seemed to be both.

She didn’t understand.

Go help them, Irene urged, suddenly sounding tired. Just – help them. Don’t let Nadiya die. Remy’s wrist and leg probably need medical attention, and you need to check Mary Sage out as well. I know some first-aid, I can help.

I do not need your assistance, Irene Baker. With a sudden, violent shove, Kardala forced Irene back into the furthest corner of her mind and slammed the door. The memories from earlier disappeared, as did the presence that had been seeping in, filling in the cracks.

Kardala didn’t like to think that she wasn’t complete – that she had cracks that needed filling, especially not by Irene Baker.

But she couldn’t quite deny the aching, empty space Irene left behind.

#taz #taz commitment #taz fanfiction #nadiya jones #irene baker #kardala #mary sage #space cadet #christopher rembrandt #remy #the adventure zone #the adventure zone commitment #taz: c #that old sweet feeling #tosf #mine #we're going to get INTO it now y'all #heck yeah heck yeah

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