#and BOY did I have fun in this zine! definitally one of the best projects I've been in | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

guiltyhearts · 5 years

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Snow-Capped Cocoa

Now that the @twosidesfanzine zines have been shipped out, and we’ve been given the green light to share our completed pieces online, here is mine! It was so much fun to write this, and I am beyond excited and happy to be part of a project with all these talented creators.

Summary: At a ski lodge two boys will meet two girls, and it’s the start of something new.

Pairings: SoKai, RokuNami

It was suffocating in the lodge. Were it not for this insufferable cold he had so clearly recovered from, Roxas would have joined his friends out at the slopes. By all accounts, he was much better than he was a week ago, when his cold immobilized him and left him bedridden. Axel, of all people, ganged up on him with his brother Sora, and forced Roxas to stay in, lest it “aggravate the bacteria any further”, according to him. But he would stand for being the only person in their group of friends who would be alone and bored at the lodge resort. Fortunately for him, he brought his camera. He would indulge in this hobby if nothing else. And so, appropriately bundled up with the camera around his neck, Roxas stepped out of the main resort and welcomed the crisp, cool air.

He set about trudging through the snow and taking pictures of whatever caught his eye. The snow-capped trees and slopes in the distance, the winter sun cast over the lodge and mountains, kids having a snowball fight, a young woman drawing in a sketchbook. From his vantage point some meters away from the resort, her focus didn’t seem to stray from the book on her lap.

A hundred pictures later, Roxas made his way to the benches just outside the lodge to take a break and review the pictures taken so far. All the benches were occupied, including the artist from before. The space next to her was occupied by a Styrofoam cup that was topped with an excessive amount of whipped cream and silver sprinkles decorated together like H2O molecules.

“Is it okay if I sit here?” He asked the girl, who looked up at last. The lower half of her face was covered by an oversized scarf, so only her blue eyes were visible. The girl nodded, removing the cup to make room. He thanked her and settled comfortably. He set his camera to review the pictures taken so far, and deleting the less-than-perfect ones.

“That’s pretty.”

Roxas looked up at the sudden voice and its source. The girl next to him had taken her scarf down.

Yeah, that is pretty, he thought, taking in the full face of the girl and her gentle smile.

When he didn’t answer right away, the girl continued. “The picture. It’s good.”

Roxas snapped back to attention and looked down at the picture on display. It was of the mountains over them; he timed the shot so that it created the illusion of the sunlight spilling through the gaps to illuminate the snow.

“Thank you. I like it too. I’m Roxas, by the way.”

“My name is Naminé.”

“It’s nice to meet a new fan.” Roxas joked, which elicited a light giggle from her.

“Can I be honest and say, you sound… off. Are you recovering from a cold?” Naminé asked with a look of mild concern.

“Actually, yeah,” Roxas admitted abashedly. “But I’m much better. I actually wanted to go snowboarding with my friends, but they kinda forced me to stay back until I was fully recovered, by their standards.”

“So it’s safe for you to be out here.” Naminé pointed out warily.

“Well…” Roxas’s eyes darted to the sides, before leaning forward and whispering like a conspirator, “they said nothing about me going outside. All they said was I wasn’t well enough to go snowboarding.”

Naminé let out another giggle. “You sure showed them, then.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, I’ll have you know this is a bonafide act of rebellion.” Roxas shot back with a playful grin. Naminé laughed harder, covering her mouth with her hand. His chest swelled delightedly at the sound. It seemed like he took her by surprise, but not in an unpleasant or unwelcome way.

“What about you? What brings you here?” Roxas asked in turn.

“I suppose it’s the same as you. I’m here with my friends. They wanted to go skiing and snowboarding, I didn’t, so here I am.”

“Here you are.” Roxas grinned. Was he glad at this turn of events.

Naminé toyed with a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. “You know, a little part of me wished I did join them. But…”

“...but?”

“...but now, given the present company, I don’t mind as much anymore.” She bravely held his gaze for a moment before she looked down at her lap. She missed his bright, hopeful smile.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

This time, Naminé didn’t miss Roxas’s smile, and gave back one just as bright.

“Can I see what you were drawing?” Roxas nodded down at the sketchbook on her lap.

“Of course!” Naminé scooched closer to show off her latest sketch of tiny figures descending a white slope.

----

Just as Sora made his way down the slopes on his third trip, another snowboarder cut through his path at lightning speed. He didn’t recognize the rider from their group of friends, and soon it became an unspoken challenge to race to the finish line.

The rush of wind against his ears. The icy wind against his form as he slid down the clear slopes. The adrenaline did not diminish at any point, as if strengthening him every second he slid further down, down down. The sensations felt as he rode down the slopes were unparalleled. Even as the other snowboarder barely beat him to the bottom of the slope, the adrenaline could only diminish lightly, but not entirely. Nothing could compare or come close to the thrill of the ride.

That was what Sora thought. Then the snowboarder took off their goggles and he got a proper look at her face for the first time. In hindsight, he couldn’t be sure what made him more winded.

“You’re amazing!” Sora breathed out.

“Sorry?” The girl frowned, her eyes creasing.

“I-I mean!” He stuttered, suddenly aware of himself. “You-you are amazing! At the slopes. At snowboarding.” Smooth as the slopes he was.

The girl grinned, propping her hands on her hips. “Not bad for a rookie, huh?”

“You’re a rookie? I couldn’t tell.” Sora said as he took off his beanie and his wild hair was freed. Had he been looking closer, he might have noticed how the girl stared at him, her fingers twitching as she wondered what his hair felt like.

“Thank you.” She stammered with a flush in her cheeks.

“I’m Sora. It’s nice to meet you.” He offered his hand to the snowboarder with a jovial smile.

“I’m Kairi.” She shook his hand in response.

They held the other’s hand perhaps just a little longer than was normal. And they could never say for sure.

“Kairi.” She immediately liked how her name sounded coming from him. “How’s about another race, Kairi?”

“You must really like losing then.” She grinned at the challenge.

“Oh-hoh, we’ll see about that. Best two out of three!”

“You’re on!”

And it became a race back to the ski lifts, even as they eventually realized that running would only tire them out more, not to mention nearly impossible to do in heavy snow gear. That didn’t stop them from goading each other along the way. They reached the top and before they knew it, they were racing down the slopes again. This time, they were fueled with competitive spirit, and (though they wouldn’t admit it yet), the desire to impress the other. Even if Sora wanted to win so badly, his wounded pride was a non-issue as he heard Kairi whoop triumphantly.

They made their way back to the ski lift at a much slower pace as the fatigue started to settle in.

“I don’t know about you, but I could really go for some hot cocoa when we go back.” Sora was wistful at the thought.

“I second that. You know, the restaurant sells this cocoa where they top up the whipped cream like one of the mountains.” Kairi added.

“I wanna see that!” Sora practically hopped at the thought.

“Yeah! We can get some together later… maybe?” Kairi asked nervously.

Sora beamed. “Definitely!”

---

When the group of boys came back to a Roxas who was less grumpy than he was earlier that morning, they didn’t stop to ask how or why. They were still preoccupied with teasing Sora, not that he or Roxas paid much attention to them. It didn’t take long before their friends noticed that both boys shared similarly smitten looks. Not that the brothers knew, nor were they ready to share just yet. Both were taken with the promise of warm, sweet cocoa, and even sweeter company.

~Fin~

#twosideszine #twosidesfanzine #Kingdom Hearts #Sora #Kairi #SoKai #Roxas #Namine #RokuNami #My writing

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moldy-mold · 5 years

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Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!

Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.

It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.

I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.

Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted. At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.

NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.

The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.

Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.

But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.

I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.

I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.

She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan. My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?

I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…

I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.

Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…

Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.

Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…

Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.

Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!

The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…

I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.

NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.

My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.

The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.

I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.

I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.

I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.

Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(

There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.”  Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.

I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!  https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.

I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.

The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”

Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!

I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.

I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.

I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!

Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.

I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T

I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.

I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.

I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.

Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?

I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.

So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.

I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.

I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.

At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:

I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.

In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.

Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.

I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.

I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.

I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?

I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient⁠—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…

The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…

I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.

When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.

I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3

We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…

For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!

I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.

I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.

I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.

#diary

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frederator-studios · 6 years

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Kate Leth: The Frederator Interview

One of our top-most frequently asked Qs is: “Do I need to study art or animation to become a creator”? Our long-winded answer could really be replaced with: “Look up Kate Leth”. For many of you, this intro itself will be redundant. Since she began posting her personal Kate or Die! comics in 2011, the growth of Kate’s now-ginormous online following - as well as heaps of talent and hard work - opened doors for her to become one of the most exciting comic book creators and animation writers working today. It was awesome talking with Kate about her adoration for Plum, the rising tide of female and non-binary voices in animation, and witches - lots ‘n lots of witches.

Kate: So now, where are these being posted?

Cooper: On our Tumblr! We have a long-running Studios blog. Do you know the Frederator // Tumblr origin story?

K: Maybe??

C: David Karp launched Tumblr from his desk at Frederator when he was an intern! Fred Seibert was one of its first bloggers and investors.

K: Oh that’s funny! I still use Tumblr sometimes, as like a less stressful platform than Twitter. Which it used to be much more so?

Yeah, Twitter’s really taken over, huh? Do you like Twitter or does it feel like a chore?

Half and half! I like the fun side of Twitter but it is also pretty depressing. I’m starting to use Instagram more, cause it’s just happier. It’s like a nice break, scrolling through pictures of my cute friends!

Has social media been very important to your career?

Oh yeah - all of the work I’ve ever gotten has pretty much been through social media. I come from a super small town in Canada, which makes it harder to network and connect with people. It used to be you’d meet people at Cons, but now you meet everybody online. So many of the connections I’ve made and so many of the jobs I’ve gotten have been through Twitter and Tumblr. I don’t know where my career would be without those platforms!

That’s amazing. Did you know those opportunities were out there when you started posting?

I got into Tumblr just to follow people. I worked at a comic book store at the time, and my boss knew that I was drawing and encouraged me to put my stuff online. So I did, and slowly started to amass a small following. It got bigger, and that was how I got discovered by BOOM!, which is how I did my first published comics—including the Bravest Warriors comics, which is kinda funny!

Whoa, cool! From comic book store employee to comic book writer - how was that transition?

I started working there in like... 2009 or 2010? It was part time; I was also working at a dress shop. But I got fired from the dress shop (laughs) so I became full time at the comic book store. My boss, Calum Johnston, was a really engaged member of the arts community. He pushed people to make comics and share them, and that’s how I got started.

He must be so stoked to see where your career is now.

It’s really wild to look back on. When I wanted to self-publish my first zine, I had no money. I was a super broke art student. Cal sold his original art of the cover of the first volume of Scott Pilgrim and used the money to help me and a bunch of other people self-publish our comics. He’s a really good dude.

That’s so generous! Do you stay in touch with people there?

Yeah, I try to! His daughter is in animation school now. I’ve known her since she was like 14. It’s cool cause now I can promote her work and help her get a foot in the industry, so it comes full circle!

When you got the job at the store, were you just a fan? Or did you know you wanted to be a creator?

Just a fan! I was really big into autobio and self-published comics. Kate Beaton, Lucy Knisley, Erica Moen, and Jess Fink were all creators I was following at the time. Kate Beaton is from Nova Scotia like me, and I watched her get successful on LiveJournal and things as a comic artist—and yet she had studied history! She had no formal arts training; she’d just started making comics for fun. I had always thought that if you didn’t go to art school, that wasn’t an avenue for you. Seeing what she was doing made me realize, “Oh, people can do that!? Maybe I could too!” I’d been reading web comics since junior high, but it was never something that I thought I could do, until I started doing it. Being on Tumblr was also really encouraging; seeing so many other people just starting out and at a similar skill level with their art.

How did the path from self-publishing to BOOM! go?

It was sort of accidental. An editor came across Kate or Die!, and I was offered a backup strip in one of the Adventure Time comics. Only like 2 pages - super short. And then they came back with an offer to write a whole graphic novel? I’d never written anything longer than 4 pages in my life. But I was like, “Sure, I can do that!”. So I wrote Seeing Red, my first Adventure Time comic. And it did well, so they asked me to write another one. And all of a sudden that was my job! I was like, “Oh, okay, I better get good at this.”

Wow, so you taught yourself how to write comics? And to screenwrite?

Oh yeah, I didn’t go to school for any of this. I went to school for makeup and photography. I was a professional makeup artist for a couple years. Then I studied photography for two years. Then I dropped out. A college dropout made good! At first, I didn’t feel like I knew what I was doing. I’ve been writing comics for 6 or 7 years, and I only now feel like I’m good at them (laughing) I know people will disagree! I’m very self-deprecating. But I definitely feel like I understand what you need to craft a story now. When I started, I didn’t think about stories as a whole: knowing where you’re going, how you’ll get there, the themes you’ll touch along the way. I did a lot of improv in high school, so I felt fine sitting down and just starting! I'd make stuff up as I went. But that doesn’t make for as good of stories. So over time I’ve learned to sit down and really figure out the world, the arcs, the timing for big moments. I fill books with outlines!

Do you have a favorite project you’ve worked on?

Spell on Wheels, which just came out from Dark Horse last year, is something I’m really proud of. It’s about witches on a road trip. Megan Levens and Marissa Louise, the artist and colorist I’m working with are so awesome; I’m really happy that we’re gonna do more of it. And it’s nice to have an original series out there, because I’ve worked on so many other people’s properties.

What are the biggest differences there?

It’s very freeing to write an original. You’re not beholden to any corporate standards or licensers, so it’s easier to tell the kind of stories that you want to tell. Especially in terms of things like diversity and queerness, there’s nobody saying, “Oh, we can’t do that because it’s not in the TV show”. It’s nice to not have to worry about things like that. Dark Horse has been very supportive of it, which is cool.

Is Spell on Wheels your main project right now, or what else is goin’ on?

I work in animation primarily now, so I’m working for Hasbro and some other places that I can’t talk about yet, as is always the way. But I’ve been with Hasbro for about a year and a half, as a sort of jack of all trades writer. I’ve worked on My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, Littlest Pet Shop, and a bunch of other things that haven’t been announced yet. As for comics, I’m currently working on the Mysticons graphic novels - the first one comes out in August.

What do you like best about being a writer?

I love it. I think it’s amazing to create worlds and characters and stories and see them brought to life by so many different kinds of people, with so many different artistic styles and talents and specialties. It’s just like magic. Animation is so exciting. You write a script and then you wait... like a year... and then it’s animated! And there are voices saying your jokes! I feel like the thrill of that might wear off at some point, but it definitely hasn’t yet.

What are your favorite cartoons?

Sailor Moon is top of the list. And Cardcaptor Sakura - any magical girl anime I would just eat up as a kid. I watched Disney’s One Saturday Morning religiously, Doug and all of those shows. And now Steven Universe is a big favorite. I got to write an episode for Craig of the Creek, which is great, and I’m really excited about that. And I’m a huge fan of Bob’s Burgers!

What is your episode of Craig of the Creek about?

Witches. I’m very into witches! I grew up on Buffy, Charmed - every YA book I could get my hands on. Practical Magic is my favorite movie. I feel like there were so many movies and TV shows about witches in the 90s. I’m ready for that genre to loop back, in a BIG way. And for the episode of Craig of the Creek, I created characters that ended up becoming part of the recurring cast! So it was neat to contribute to that world a little bit.

What is your favorite thing about Bravest Warriors?

Plum. Just Plum, in general. She’s my favorite character to write - she’s just so fun. She’s silly and weird, and once you get her voice right, she’s such a laugh. She's so blunt and harsh, but in this innocent, unintentional way.

Your episode “Chained to Your Side” has the Scaley Williams Dance - what inspired your play on Sadie Hawkins?

We don’t actually have Sadie Hawkins dances in Canada, which is funny. But I’ve always been kind of fascinated by the concept: “Oooh it’s so rebellious cause the girls ask the boys.” Which is so outdated! So I thought, what’s the futuristic version of that… and got: ‘the girls ‘dart’ the boys’. And we had this conversation, like, “Okay, they dart the boys - but it has to be consensual! They have to say yes!” That was very important (laughing) I could only take that joke to a certain point. But I knew the dance idea would let me do a lot with Beth and Plum. And I love beating up Danny. Like that’s my favorite thing to do in the comics. Just let terrible things happen to Danny. He’s such a goofball.

What are the themes that recur in your characters and stories the most?

Surface level, the obvious: witches and gay stuff. In a deeper sense, things I come back to a lot… there are a lot of characters I’ve written that work retail or minimum wage jobs. Because that’s what I grew up with—I moved out when I was 17 and started working, and did that up until 4 or 5 years ago. So that’s a huge part of my experience. Definitely characters who aren’t borne of privilege and are struggling to prove themselves. Like Hellcat especially, is very much about someone in their 20s just trying to get by. And I talk about self-acceptance a lot. I like genuine moments between people. Amid the comedy, I like there to be something real - especially if it’s something difficult to talk about. Hellcat is this really upbeat superhero, Saturday Morning Cartoon vibe—but I did an entire arc about how people misinterpret and mistreat men who are bisexual, and how that’s different from how bisexual women are treated. So it’s this funny comic, but still touching on real topics. I like to try to say something. But not, you know, hit people over the head with it.

Do you have a cartoon project that’s your favorite?

Yeah, but I’m not allowed to talk about it yet! I have had a lot of fun working on Equestria Girls. It’s so exciting to write stuff for kids. Since I started in animation I’ve actually tried to shoehorn myself: I want to write action-adventure for girls. That’s what I want to do. I’ve managed to get to a place where that’s everything I’m working on now, and that’s really exciting. A lot of people don’t want to be pegged like that, but I’m like, “Oh, you want me to write girls punching and having feelings? Good, I’m here for it!”

It’s funny to pigeon-hole yourself! Most writers seem to want the opposite.

I doubt I’ll want to do the same thing forever! But I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to tell stories for girls. For a long time I think there was an onus to make sure your show could appeal to boys, and that led to a lot of female characters getting side-lined, because executives would say, “Boys need someone to relate to!” And I agree with that—but I really don’t believe there’s any reason boys can’t relate to or look up to girls. And I think perpetuating the idea that they can’t is pretty harmful.

In your time in the industry, have you noticed animation becoming more inclusive and diverse?

I’m lucky in what I’ve worked on. Hasbro has a huge female staff and a lot of the executives are women, so they’re very supportive of that. There’s always room for more diversity, but it’s been good. I know there are parts of the industry that are still very much a boys club, but I’ve stayed pretty far away from those, and would prefer to keep it that way. There are so many women coming into animation now. I know so many women and non-binary folks working in the field that are just going to keep rising. It’s definitely a rising tide.

That’s awesome.

Well, I have to believe that, or else I get depressed! (laughing). My boyfriend and I play a game where at the end of movies, we count how many title cards we get through before seeing a woman’s name. (I groan) Yeah, it’s wild. Usually it ends up being a producer, or the casting director, or a costume designer. It’s rarely someone on the creative end. And when you start looking for it, you really start noticing it. But it’s heartening when you see a movie that defies that. Like at the end of Black Panther, there were a ton of women’s names early on in those credits! That’s my goal, is to like (laughing), be the early in the credits female name. And then fill the rest of those credits with people I know.

Oh cool, so you would want to make a feature film?

Yeah. I have lofty goals. We’ll see what happens, but I don’t want to close myself off to any opportunities.

Do you know what that movie would be about?

Probably witches. But I guess we’ll see! ❀

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Follow Kate on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr: @kateordie

Thank you so much for the interview Kate! I’m excited for your upcoming projects, especially the ones about Girl Magic. Soo... all of them :D

- Cooper

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arecomicsevengood · 6 years

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Jim Mahfood’s Grrl Scouts

I texted a pal to let him know I was thinking about buying the new collection of Jim Mahfood’s Grrl Scouts, and I was surprised at the total ambivalence of his reply. Considering our shared interest in comics that are kind of garbage, but interested in capturing youthful subcultures, I thought I’d get a “hell yeah man do it.” Mahfood’s style has changed a good deal since I read it in high school, and honestly the Magic Socks series looked fresh to me: While before Mahfood’s lineart was pretty stiff, sort of like colorforms or something, with thick lines, his interest in graffiti now manifests in lines and figures that are loose and gestural, the colors that fill in his compositions are bright and vibrant. Did I expect the story to be good? No, not at all. The new trade collection includes a backup on the “making-of” where the artist admits his intention with the comic was always to just do something exactly like Tank Girl, something that it seems like he can only admit to now that he has collaborated with Alan Martin on recent Tank Girl comics, but oh man holy shit do I ever not think that’s a good goal to have. The ideal influence for Tank Girl to have on someone is for them to dress like the character of Tank Girl, you shouldn’t try to make comics like Tank Girl, which are pretty hard to actually read and never very funny.

Credit where it’s due to my mom: When the Tank Girl movie was coming out, and the character and comics were being explained on Good Morning America, she asked the dude at the comic store I was shopping at to show her some issues, and she decided they were not for her. At the time I was disappointed, but in retrospect this is up there with when I explained the band Blink-182 played “pop-punk” and she responded “isn’t that a contradiction in terms?”

But not to throw Tank Girl under the bus, Jamie Hewlett’s art is indeed rad as hell, I maybe prefer his Shade The Changing Man covers to the ones Brendan McCarthy did, and Mahfood’s cartooning now has a visceral energy to it that pops off the shelf. The issue with the writing in Grrl Scouts is that it’s brain-dead, a id that runs on references and cultural signifiers, My interest in buying the book and reading it plummeted when my skim brought me to the pages where Hunter S Thompson shows up as a spirit guide, and the author photo where Mahfood wears a bandolier.

In a climate where the critical discourse has deteriorated, and people praise things for the politics it seems like they have, ignoring their aesthetic value, Mahfood, a dude I think legitimately has a cool drawing style, still sort of gestures towards aesthetics the way other comics gesture towards politics. Like, rather than include a gay character who tells off a villain for fat-shaming someone, Mahfood will have panel where two characters quote Handsome Boy Modeling School. Rather than induce in the audience the sense that reading the comic is a political act that affirms them, it wants to tell the audience that the comic it’s reading is cool, the way that Prince Paul is cool. However, the really-not-that-political act of having minority representation in a work of fiction still places more demands on the writer than what Mahfood is doing, which is basically signaling that he’s just hanging loose and doing what he feels like. What’s weird about that, then, is it that even though this is totally non-focus-grouped, independent work, it still kind of feels the same way that like Coca-Cola paying for a fake graffiti “street art” mural does, like it’s trading off of something that already exists to build its brand. Only Mahfood’s graffiti-influence style is trading off of the historical existence of Hunter S Thompson, and he himself is the sort of person that would be hired for the sort of project I’m describing- One of his first high-profile projects was the Generation X Underground Special Marvel Comics put out in 1998.

At the same time, looked at honestly, Mahfood’s work does function as a sort of aboveground version of a zine. It doesn’t conform to notions of quality, but I like it as a form of communication, of someone talking about music, and the things they think are cool. It feels adolescent, and dumb, and contrived, but I feel like I recognize the person who makes it and could get along with him. I like it, because I like comics, though it doesn’t work as a narrative. The characters are thin, but you can read through them, to get at a feeling for the character of the creator. This is not the best effect you can achieve, but it’s something. It’s something you can get from zines, through people you meet in real life or via mail order, and this can be a transformative experience. This, the version you can get at a comic store, is kind of dispiriting.

Grrl Scouts’ version of what’s cool also includes guns and doin’ cocaine. I disagree! It is kind of crazy to think of the way Brandon Graham’s stuff also contains a graffiti influence, but in so many ways is a more satisfying reading experience, and Mahfood has been making fairly high-profile professional work for way longer. It’s not fair to compare them at all, but right now I’m thinking about how Graham specifically does not include guns in his comics because he doesn’t think they’re cool, and so creates sci-fi weaponry instead: Nonetheless his stuff still feels like it has higher stakes, due to actual emotional involvement with the characters.

This may or may not be relevant to the topic at hand, but it is something I’ve been thinking about: The rapper Lil B has been incredibly influential in ways that cannot even really be calculated. One of the reasons it can’t be calculated is because he never got signed to a record label, besides putting out a double-LP of ambient music on a noise label. The lack of record label support, if anything, just demonstrates the irrelevance of record labels. And then I realized that calling Lil B “The Based God” actually points out that I sort of feel about him the way some of the devout feel: If you do not believe, your words are not relevant. But I can’t say definitively if the problem with Jim Mahfood is that he doesn’t like Lil B because I don’t think he’s weighed in on the matter, I’m just kind of assuming he doesn’t fuck with it. I really don’t know. I guess I mean more that Lil B is someone who sort of blew up the landscape, with a different relationship to tradition, and makes space for things to flourish in ways he couldn’t. So in this example Mahfood would be like Lil Yachty or something, although in other ways he’s like an old dude who probably hasn’t liked a new rapper since Def Jux folded. But I’m becoming that dude too, now that I’m my thirties. So this is maybe how I feel like I can relate to Jim Mahfood. I feel like I can call this comic “retarded” without anyone yelling at me for being “ableist” because no one who would use that word would be interested in defending the honor of Grrl Scouts.

I guess I should explain what the “plot” to Magic Socks is. But oh my god, it’s so stupid, and it doesn’t matter at all. Honestly, maybe the most accidentally revealing moment here is when a character says that Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol is pretentious, but The Invisibles is a perfect balance. The Invisibles feels really dated on the basis of its constant cultural referencing, creating a sort of hypertext for itself to exist in as opposed to developing its own system as a work of fiction that can sustain itself. The values Mahfood and Grrl Scouts have seem dated and anachronistic, but also it seems like telling a story, even a really weird story, would be beyond it. It’s a comic that wants to be fun and wild and comes off as sad, the way an older person romanticizing youth, or lamenting the way the young are now, is sad. That the art is developed way beyond what a younger Mahfood could achieve hints at a form of aging gracefully that gives the book an even greater disconnect.

Bill Sienkiewicz does a pin-up in this comic. Like Mahfood, Sienkiewicz is also a veteran of the pages of Oni Double Feature, although he was already a legend, and Mahfood was an up-and-comer. Comics is so divided up by scenes and strata these days and I hope Sienkiewicz has seen and been given copies of comics by the past decade’s more exciting younger artists. At the same time, while a younger Bill Sienkiewicz worked with Frank Miller and Alan Moore, it seems like Jim Mahfood would benefit from working with writers more skilled than Kevin Smith, his most high-profile former collaborator.

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sheithauzine · 6 years

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Stargazing Zine Contributor Spotlight

Get to know the contributors that are a part of Stargazing: a Sheith AU Fanzine! Next up is @amorremanet, who did a roleswap AU fic!

A special thank you to Andromeda Zine for allowing us to borrow this concept!

Amorremanet

“Keith says, ‘Nothing is worth Shiro’s pain.’ I say, ‘Yeah okay, honey, you can take care of him when I’m done’”

Amorremanet on AO3 @amorremanet on Tumblr

Your piece for Stargazing has Shiro and Keith with their roles reversed: Keith on the Kerberos mission and Shiro as the half-Galra Garrison washout. Without giving away too much beyond what has been shared in previews already, can you give us some insight into the inspiration behind this AU, and how you picture it changing up the events and interactions of canon?

Role-reversal AUs are a favorite trope of mine. All AUs offer the opportunity to explore pieces of the characters that might not come out as easily in more canon-adjacent fics. What I love about role-swap AUs, though, is the creative challenge of exploring how the “cores” of the different characters can both change and not when they’re literally placed into another canon character’s shoes. As for how the swap in “The Oncoming Storm” changes things, the Galra reveal would also go very differently, because Champion!Keith would fight Allura harder in defense of Shiro than canon!Keith does in defense of himself. But most of the changes that I see coming in this AU are subtler at first, and end up having some cumulatively huge effects. For instance, I think Shiro would still be the Black Paladin at first, while Keith would still be in Red. But that changes the eventual build-up to the Galra reveal: Shiro can’t fight Zarkon head-on and hear the, “You fight like a Galra” line, as canon!Keith did; he would have been ejected by the Black Lion. That line is easy enough to transfer onto Sendak during their fight in “The Fall of the Castle of Lions,” because it’s something that he’d say (and with Sendak, he’d probably mean it as a compliment). But the significance of that fight changes if Shiro is running into a fight with someone who has such a huge advantage because Sendak hurt Keith, Shiro’s beloved. This changes Shiro’s astral plane confrontation with Zarkon, and it all adds up to a very different Galra reveal. The worst part of it for Shiro, though, would be feeling responsible for Keith’s trauma. He blames himself for “pushing” Keith onto the Kerberos mission, but for him to be a member of the species that harmed Keith? In canon, Shiro doesn’t blame Keith and loves him fiercely. But sadly, Shiro wouldn’t show himself that same understanding. So, yeah. A mix of obviously big changes, and little ones that add up to big ones.

I was going to ask you about your favorite minor character in Voltron, but given the contents of this fic, it's not exactly hard to guess! Tell us a little bit about why you chose Iverson as a major character in this fic, and how you went about developing his character.

A: In fairness, I love a lot of the minor characters! That said, I do have an Iverson bias, and I feel like he gets a raw deal. He can be abrasive. His first scene is him chewing the Garrison Trio out. While doing so, he says things about Keith and Shiro that can sound pretty negative. This makes it easy to write Iverson off as a jerk, even a villain. That reading of him doesn’t hold up for me, though. There are several reasons why not, but his relationship with and treatment of Shiro are the most telling, for me. He doesn’t blame Shiro while talking about the Kerberos mission. Iverson doesn’t mention Shiro at all, which is strange when he’s so direct about everything else. Then, when Shiro crashes, Iverson is present in the med-tent for unexplained reasons (which could be personal). When speaking to him, Iverson uses the name, “Shiro.” This isn’t a super-intimate nickname (Lance uses it despite not knowing Shiro personally before Team Voltron). But if Iverson were sticking to protocol, he’d call Shiro, “Lt. Shirogane” (or similar). Before anything else, Iverson tries to reassure Shiro that he’s safe. He only makes the call to put Shiro under because they don’t know what his prosthetic arm can do or not (which is a fair concern). The way Iverson talks about this sounds regretful, too. He doesn’t like drugging Shiro, but his options are limited. That’s how I see Iverson in general. He’s in some difficult places, facing dangerous and high-stakes situations. He isn’t a monster; he’s just a man who’s trying his best with very limited choices and seemingly insurmountable odds. Which is how I tried to portray him in this AU, too, Also, I have a Shiro bias, and canon!Shiro doesn’t have very many non-Keith personal connections before Team Voltron. The way Iverson treats him makes me think Iverson might have been one of them. And I liked exploring that possibility in this fic.

After reading that, definitely consider me a convert. It's always fascinating to see different trends and countertrends in fandom. Related to that, you've mentioned that you've been indulging in fandom between frantic work on your thesis, which is… also about fandom? What's the premise there, and and how are you bringing your own experiences as a fan into your academic work?

A: My MA thesis is about fandom, yes! It’s been through a few different versions before ending up where it is. First, it was going to be a more traditional academic paper, focused about how fans write about LGBTQ experiences and issues in fics/headcanons, and focused on trans and/or non-binary representation in particular. (I worked on this version in 2013-14, so there were even fewer trans fics/hc’s than there are now. Also, the main fandoms in it were Supernatural and Teen Wolf, not VLD.) But my school’s program in women’s/gender studies has three options for the final project: the thesis; the practicum (basically, an internship where you write a paper at the end); and the creative project (which still has a research component, but isn’t). In a required class, our prof had us list ideas for how we could pursue our interests in all three of these options. The creative project that I came up with was, “I mean, I write fanfiction? I guess I could do that.” I expected my prof to tell me how ridiculous this sounded. Instead, she got excited about that idea, which got me excited. Which got my poor advisor excited (especially because my original fic ideas were for HP, which is her pet fandom). Then, everything got derailed by IRL drama for a while. But now, I’ve written my fic (“But boys spring infernal,” my overgrown monster of mutual pining Sheith) and I’m finishing the paper about it. In general, the project is about the LGBTQ and feminist potential of fanfic, with a focus on hurt/comfort and AUs, which are sadly under-researched. Aside from canon-divergence fics, AUs especially get a raw deal. Most fan studies scholars write them off as original fic with fandom characters pasted on. That bugs me both as a fan who loves AUs, and as someone who sees the field of fan studies stagnating because we aren’t adapting as fandom evolves. So, I’m bringing my fannish experiences into my project because they are the project (or a pretty big part of it). In addition to the research that went into this, there’s an autoethnographic element to the paper. I have to write about the process of writing BBSI, as well as the different personal experiences that went into the fic, and it’s been fun but incredibly challenging. On the other hand, I got to cite Legit Sources™ like Michel Foucault while justifying my love of long-haired Shiro. That’s probably my personal peak of questionable academic arguments, and I probably shouldn’t be so proud of it? But I am.

Long-haired Shiro, the Shiro we all deserve. Also, I am totally jealous that you've gotten to write fanfic for a school project. Final question! After reading your piece, I think I ascended to another plane of existence. I absolutely loved it. So I have to ask for your blessing: may I have your fic's hand in marriage?

Oh my god, fgkdhf, thank you! For that compliment, for letting me babble about this fic, and for giving me the chance to write for this zine. As much as I love this role-swap AU idea, “The Oncoming Storm” might not have gotten to exist without Stargazing giving me the push to actually write it. (Which I could write another long answer about, because I find the different levels of communal writing/collaboration that go on in fanfic so fascinating.) With that said? You absolutely have my blessing to marry this fic. I’m so glad that you’re so excited about it, and I’m excited about getting to read everyone else’s fics and see the art pieces when the zine comes out! <333

You can pick up your own copy of Stargazing here! All profits will go to the Center for Victims of Torture.

#Stargazing Sheith Zine #Shiro #Keith #Sheith #Voltron

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tottwritesfanfic · 6 years

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So, I was tagged by @gilrael for the following:

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on.

This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets!

HOO BOY.

Listen, my first reaction was pretty much “I can’t list all the things I’m currently working on. It’s...no one wants to read that whole list. It’s too long. There’s too much.”

I have been called out good and proper, but you know what? This is what the read more button was made for. These won’t be in any particular order, because I really don’t have an “order” in which I work on things? Also, some of these projects are so far on the back-burner that I really can’t say I’m actively working on them, but I never know when inspiration will strike next and divert me from what I should be doing. Essentially, if it makes the list, I think of it in my head as “imma finish this.”

Buckle up peeps, because we May Be Some Time.

My Epic YA Fantasy Series Featuring Pretty Much Zero Romance. I neglect this series way too much for something I consider my firstborn, but this is my Passion, okay. My very username is derived from the initials of the series title. I’ve been writing and rewriting it for almost two thirds of my life now, and one day when I have something to show for that labour of love, I will be screaming about it from the rooftops. Mark my words. Also I counted this as one but there’s like...at least five novels, and also shitloads of maps and worldbuilding notes, and songs, and I have a boxfile of old pictures drawn by myself or my sister, and progress on three or four conlangs... It’s hard to really convey just how much of this shit there actually is, if I’m honest.

Hope’s Fire My first ever proper fanfic, and also sorely neglected of late. I love this story so much though, and once I push past the block I have for the current chapter I can’t wait to progress with it, because there are fuuuun times ahead.

A Standalone Novel (sucky working title is “The Aspect’s Choice”) Another YA novel, which...actually has a complete draft? Like, start to finish with no skipped scenes or anything like that. There’s magic and shit, and also no romance for the lead, it’s like this is a theme in my works or something (there’s a background romance this time tho, for those of you who like shipping).

A Fantasy Trilogy about paradoxes and multidimensional travel. I’m mentioning this one now even though I’m kinda...not working on it that much, because I’ve borrowed heavily from it for some fanfic projects. The first novel is a fantasy spy thriller, the second is a sort of...ensemble piece about a major disaster at a futuristic interdimensional traffic control place a lot like an airport/train station, and the third one is a journey through space and time on a sorta magic train which explains how the fuck the first two books are actually connected.

A World of Trouble (The Spy AU) Haikyuu fic! I started this for the HQ Brofest last year and it’s really taken off. The plot for this story was shamelessly nicked from the first book in the above trilogy, albeit with some fairly substantial divergences.

Until We Move On My...actually, daaamn, this was my first HQ fic. I entered this fandom in a fairly definite fashion, with Suga already dead and Oikawa following shortly after - I swear it’ll have a happy ending for them both eventually tho.

Metanoia, Renascent, and Equanimity (the Trinacriform series) I debated listing these separately, to be honest. There’s no denying that Metanoia and Equanimity are higher up on my list of things to work on than Renascent is right now, but all three are still important to me and all three are going to be finished someday. Ultimately they’re here as one because holy shit this list is going to be long enough already. Rest assured I do actually think of them as three separate entities in my head!

The Triffid AU (just gonna list these because there are Several and holy shit I’m still so far from the end): Dangers Unseen - First in the series, Karasuno accidentally sleep through the apocalypse. Interview Transcripts - Set a few months after DU; tells all the side-stories I have to skip in DU for pacing reasons. Seijoh arc (current working title of “In Search of Silver” which will almost certainly change) - I haven’t posted any of this yet but it’s hecking angsty. A Bit Like Home - Sequel to Dangers Unseen, set a year or so after. Also hasn’t been posted anywhere yet. At the moment it’s mostly bokuaka stuff but the idea is for it to be a collection of sorta halfway standalone stories. I have more ideas for this AU than just these, but I haven’t started writing them yet and I’m not GOING to until this list gets shorter.

An Error of Cat-Astrophic Proportions I’m not gonna lie, this basically started out as a stupid halfway-joking crack fic and it got out of control.

Partner Fic to “The Carpenter’s Gift” I started writing this and got a couple of thousand words in and then basically started over. I’ll get there. Probably not before the following though:

KiyoYachi Soul Animal AU fic Set in the same universe as “The Carpenter’s Gift”, sorta...around the same time?

Another Original Fantasy Trilogy I love my fantasy, okay? The three novels in this series are all technically started, although only two of them have any substance: The Legend and the Lake is a novel about a Great Hero, and how he...actually isn’t as much of a hero as he’s going to be remembered as. Spells and Fire is about a real fucking hero and her apprentices, and how she absolutely will not be given full credit for all she does (because she’s a bit of an arse) The Lake Guardian’s Child will be a story about a minor goddess who meets a mortal that immediately falls in love with her, and their journey to cure him of that love because he’s actually sorta engaged already.

Not Within This Restless Heart A HQ!! poly soulmate au which will probably piss off a lot of people by teh end, because no one who’s read it seems to have caught on about how complex the poly relationship is actually gonna be.

Digimon Frontier Fic - working title “Loss and Gain” I can’t really explain this one properly. It’s Angst, that’s all.

Best Laid Plans A secret santa fic I need to finish! I have part of the second and final chapter written, but life intervened and I lost my flow. Hoping to get back to it some time in the next week.

Bokuto Koutarou’s Excellent, Totally Foolproof Plan To Save Christmas As above, really (except it’s the final of 3 chapters, and it’s also the sort-of sequel to “An Error of Cat-Astrophic Proportions” ). I want to finish this up soon, so hopefully life will stop being annoying!

Lifetime Achievement Ennotana fic in which Ennoshita is a film director up for a highly prestigious award he’s dreamed of for his whole life...but he has amnesia and it currently means nothing to him.

Travellers AU - Yachi story For the HQ Brofest! Details are hush-hush for now but it’s the same universe as my time travel practical joke fics. Expect similarly ridiculous stuff.

Things We Misplaced Someone accidentally challenged me to write angsty smut which wasn’t hatesex. Smut is not my thing but I’m really stubborn okay, so I’m writing it.

BNHA Bang Fic Details are under wraps for now, but it’s gonna be fun.

A Zine Fic. It’s early days, okay?

Swansong It angst. Also not being posted to this account, for Reasons.

The Digital Fallout AU A ridiculously wide-scope Digimon AU featuring crossover appearances from like, almost all the series. It’s very much on the back burner for now but I still like thinking about it. Someday. Currently comprises of two kinda short fics: “Adventure’s End” and “The Home Frontier” but I’ve planned a LOT further.

Connection Problems This was going to be for the HQBB in 2017 but I got a massive block and had to put it on hold. I’m hoping to revisit it and finish it up by...maybe Halloween.

The Book An original novel I’ve intermittently been working on for a few years now. Essentially the titular book may or may not be sentient, but it is definitely malicious.

First Draft The..um...sequel to my standalone novel, and both my fantasy trilogies. In my defence it started out as a joke and spiralled out of control and now I want to write it for real but I literally have seven novels to finish first.

...so yeah. That’s more or less all my active (on some level) writing projects. Hopefully I didn’t forget anything! There are a few more which I have ideas for, but I haven’t started them yet and I’m not going to until this shitstorm is a little less overwhelming. I also have costumes for my kids that I’m about to make, but...I’m not going into other creative ventures here because I will literally never finish. Oh, and there’s tagging, too... Huge apologies for dragging you to the end of this hot mess, but I’m calling on @draculasstrawhat and @ahiddenpath along with any other mutuals who didn’t already get tagged (I know I took long enough to do this that a lot of people already did!) No obligations of course, but I love seeing what people are up to!

#tag memes #progress update #tott's life #i'm pretty much hopeless I know

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electricdazemag · 7 years

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Muero: Interview

words by Tasha Bielaga, photos by Xander Marrow

A band of misfits, a boy band by definition-- Muero are newcomers to the Portland music scene. The band consists of members from Miami, Minnesota, Texas, New York, and one Oregonian, who now all call bridge city home. Vocalist and guitarist Alexander Ochoa, guitarist Francis Wilhelm, drummer Dilan Barajas, bassist Clark Newman, and keyboardist Colin Cauthorn spend most of their days jamming, writing, recording, and throwing shows (translate: All music, all the time). Springtime brought them an EP recorded at Revolver Studios, a name change, and some gigs. If all goes as planned, summer will bring them, in their own words, “ideas that bloom like flowers in the pavement”. As the sunny days roll in, we chatted about how Muero came to be, how their entrance to the DIY community is going, and the new EP.

Electric Daze: Tell us a little bit about yourselves? How did Muero become Muero?

Clark: I’m originally from Minneapolis, I’ve only been in Portland for about 2 years. Alex moved in with me because my roommates knew him.

Alex: I basically moved her from Miami with the purpose of starting a band. I was apprenticing at a studio called Miami Beach Studios and my old band Golden Arrow was close to getting signed, and it all kinda fell apart. So I left town and decided I wanted to do what I was doing there, somewhere else. Then I met Clark. Dilan was in another band called United Suns, I was going to record them but Dilan ended up getting kicked out, and we just decided to play together. Francis and Colin played in Alberta Paper Company together and they both got kicked out.

Dilan: We’re a band of misfits. It was kind of a stroke of luck that we ended up in the same room and realized we all played music.

Alex: We were originally called Hormones, then Swoon, but that name was used by a few acts and we didn’t want to confuse anyone. Muero means die, or the sensation of dying, in Spanish. It was originally a name I had came up with for a solo project before moving here. We’re also a boyband by definition, we all have our own personality and backstory but it’s cool because on a musical level we fit together right.

ED: Dilan’s in Mustrd, and I know you all jam a lot. How do you go about balancing other musical projects with Swoon?

Dilan: It’s difficult for me, because Muero just went into the studio and recorded our album, while Mustrd. is one step behind in the process. I just have to have patience and try to make myself available. Also with the fast-paced nature of Muero, when I work with Mustrd. I kind of already know how I want things, how I want my drums set up or what’s going to work best for me.

Alex: Muero is the main thing that I write for, I write other music and I have other ideas but a lot is just for me. I’m the initial song writer for Muero, but everyone’s also writing their own songs. Swoon is more of a collective of songwriters, and that was always my intention for the band.

ED: How is throwing shows at your house?

Dilan: With the three that we’ve had, each one has been a little different. The first one was great, second show was on 4/20 and had a good turn out, but we had a bad house guest that upset a lot of people. With those two under our belt, we knew how to throw the third one and make it work. We got to facilitate a touring band as well as a local band that has a pretty good following. It took some trial and error, but we know how to do it now. It’s fun, it’s not the same experience as a venue show.

Alex: We do want to throw more house shows, but we’re trying to be very selective about it. It’s important to give time between each show to work out the kinks and plan better. Our next show is with a band from Seattle and we’re going to host them here, and when we tour they’re going to host us up there. There’s a couple other bands that I’d love to get on our bill.

Clark: I love playing house shows, but I’m awful around big crowds.

Francis: I love it, I love the diverse group of people and it’s fun. It’s very comfortable and carefree. Most people are very gracious and thankful for the house.

Alex: I get anxious with the people in our house. All of our stuff is here and it’s putting a lot of trust in others. We want to be able to provide a space for all kinds of bands, like On Drugs played here and they’re wild, but they didn’t get too crazy with our gear and they were really cool.

ED: How do you feel about playing house shows vs. shows at bars and clubs?

Francis: I prefer house shows, they’re more personal and down to earth. It can depend on the venue too.

Dilan: I’m on the other end of the spectrum.

Colin: There’s more chicks at the venues though.

Clark: I like house shows but with bars a lot of the work is done for you. They have a sound guy that does the soundchecks and they help point you in the right direction.

Alex: I handled the email, and that shit’s important. Working with the venue is a lot of backwork. But it’s awesome to play venues if you have a good venue. I was bummed that they charged five at the door instead of a free show. One thing about the venues here is that it’s a lot more business based and they want people to pay for every single thing. There’s a middle ground that we want to achieve where everyone can just come enjoy our music and have a good time.

ED: How do you feel about the Portland DIY community?

Dilan: We haven’t been a part of it for that long, we’ve only played with about 4 bands and we’re only homies with one really.

Alex: It’s very acquaintance based for us right now. There’s some microshade of people testing what you’re made of, but that’s just the world of music. Moving here from Miami, the scene there brought a lot of different styles of music together and they don’t do that here.

Clark: But we’ve yet to have a bad experience with a band so far, it’s all been really good.

Francis: I think it’s pretty inclusive, there’s just a lot of different pockets and genres. Everyone’s pretty friendly, it’s not super competitive.

Clark: I think Portland is kind of a clique-y city, but once we start playing more and networking it’ll be easier to break in.

ED: Let’s talk about the new EP! When did you start writing for it?

Alex: We're yet to set on a record concept yet, we’re considering a self-titled. I first started writing for it when I moved to Portland. I would make skeletons and give everyone the form of the song. Clark learned the roots of what I was doing and then made his bassline, and Francis knows the key and makes his guitar lines.

Francis: As far as writing for other people’s songs, I’m kind of an improv guitarist, I’m very routed in Jazz. I just listen and make it up as I go. I think we all kind of work that way when writing together.

Alex: We grind out the songs together and it’s exhausting and can be frustrating. But I’m very grateful that everyone here can work towards one goal. I love these guys and the music sounds great for our first go.

ED: What was the inspiration behind these songs?

Alex: I’ve written the lyrics over the past few months. Leaving Miami, I felt a really heavy loss and everything I’d come to known as my life was gone. When I first moved here I just had a bed, table, and chair. I cut my hair and had a bit of a mental breakdown in December, and shaved both my eyebrows. It was a bad time. We had a harsh winter, and I had never experienced coldness like that, and I had nothing. All the titles for songs are phrases and quotes. We have ideas and write them down. One is called Open Door Policy which is what our house is, we always welcome people over.

ED: What should people expect?

Dilan: Good vibes. I mean people always ask what kind of music I play and that question has always baffled me, I just end up telling them that my music feels good. They can expect good music.

Clark: I think they should take it for what it is.

ED: With recording, Alex and Colin are really well versed in that. Are you excited to record in studio instead of on your own?

Alex: We’re recording in Revolver Studios and it’s beautiful. We’re very lucky because they’re picky with who they want there. I engineered most of our demo recording and they turned out well. I’m so excited to work in a legitimate studio and have an outside opinion.

Dilan: And this is what we want to do with the rest of our EP’s, so it’s a good start.

ED: This is the first interview you guys have done as a band, and the first ever for some of you as well! As your first interview, is there anything you want to say?

Francis: Try to love your fellow man, you know.

Alex: We want to let everyone know that we just want to throw good shows and have people enjoy our music. We want to be friends with everyone and for them to feel welcome.

Francis: Musicians are just people

Clark: We might be a little more sensitive than others, but we’re just people

Alex: But yeah! We’re here to bring it for Portland!

Connect with Muero on Facebook and Instagram.

This interview was conducted for the PDX Summer 2017 issue of the Call Your Mom zine presented by Electric Daze. Check back here to read the other interviews and view photos of Portland bands.

Find Xander’s work on Instagram at @xandermarrowphotography

View Tasha’s work for the magazine here.

#callyourmoms17 #muero #tashabielaga #muerointerview #xandermarrow #interviews #portland #portland music #diy portland #diy scene

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ualscout · 6 years

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Captain’s Log: 16 Triggers II

Communication

24-27/09/18

The 16 prompts continued...

9: Recreate the moment after…………..…

Alright, I’m really not proud of myself for this one. I couldn’t think of anything, so I drew a picture of a shattered window from the inside looking out onto a kid with a baseball bat and a look of shock and terror. This is a universal “oh shit” moment, which I think most people can relate to on some degree even if it isn’t baseball. I used the window to frame the kid and put him at the center of attention, and by using the window as a frame I also added focal layers to the sketch.

(The universal feeling when rolling a nat1, or a critical fail)

After I did it I thought of a ton of different ideas though. Like rolling a nat1 in a Dungeons and Dragons game when everything is on the line. Or closing out of a program/having a program crash and realizing you forgot to save. Or saving and forgetting you just saved so you save again. I dunno, I thought of better stuff but didn’t have enough time to go back and fix it because I just didn’t have time. Let’s just say the kid rolled a nat1 or something?

10: Reconfigure a newspaper

Y’all know Brexit? Yeah? Cool.

Anyways, I’ve always been encouraged to be aware of the world by my high school social studies teacher. I get news updates on my phone and all that. I gotta say, the world is depressing. When you’re constantly getting updates on the next mass shooting or stabbing or acid attack or stupid thing politics did, it’s hard to stay positive, but it’s kinda necessary to be aware and look at it with as little emotion as possible. It kinda feels like a ball and chain anchor.

(Pics of the ball and chain hanging from door)

So I represented that feeling by making a literal ball and chain out of newspaper about Brexit. Then, on the chains, I wrote

“Calling the world from isolation, ‘cause right now that’s the ball where we be chained”

from Humility by Gorillaz, which is about Brexit. The biggest project out of the prototypes, definitely. I did the installation first then documented it in my sketchbook.

11: Apologise for a mistake (visually)

This one was really hard because in order to apologize, you need a mistake. By nature, this needs some kind of narrative behind it that you can’t use words for and ideally want in one panel. Some boring ways of doing this could be helping someone up after tripping, or patching up something that broke, or WAIT.

I thought of something better- someone being stabbed through the heart by someone they love while being hugged by said person. Angst central… why didn’t I think of that earlier…?

Anyways, I did something kinda boring…

I made a confession box. I kept the statement vague. People could accept the apology, deny the apology, apologize for something they did and feel bad for, etc. I did it because I wanted to use the cardboard I brought lol. It ended up getting tossed by someone, so… whoops.

12: Record what another student is doing

Someone was passed out at their desk lol. I hope they’re doing alright. They seemed tired and kept sniffling. I just kinda scanned the classroom and saw them, basically taking the easy way out. Didn’t take a picture of them because that would be kinda creepy.

13: Make a path for others to follow

(How can the thread be red if it’s invisible?)

There’s this superstition about everyone having a red thread tied around their pinky that’s connected to someone else’s pinky and that person is their soulmate. You just need to follow the thread, which is harder than it sounds… I wanted to make an animation or something based off of that. It would follow two ends of the string, winding through the city and terrain, and watch the characters pick up and manage the amounts of red string they find along the way. I’d want this to be a music video, ideally to “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men or “One Red Thread” by Blind Pilot. I did some sketches in my book- the characters and everything would be simple marker sketches while the only color is the red thread.

… but I ended up displaying a meme option. One of my favorite emotes is OwO and it looks very demonic when you fill in the eyes with darkness. So I drew the emote normally, then blinking, then opening to darkness to the words “We all have demons, and sometimes they win.” This is 100000% a meme and shouldn’t be taken seriously, despite what my tutor thinks… Anyways, the path to follow was the path to your inner demons.

14: Add something extra

Do you guys have chipotle here? Well, guac is always extra. I don’t like guac personally, but it seems like something that can be put into other food things to disgust people. For instance: an ice-cream cone, a pom pom, a snowball, etc. I didn’t really have any good ideas, just that…

15: Making a drawing without touching a pen

… Okay.

(Fountain pen for flare and sarcasm)

I didn’t touch a pen, I did touch a pencil though. I drew a fountain pen and wrote “no” in pen because it was funny. Sometimes it be like that, chief. I think it’s funny because the pen is so carefully drawn and sketched in a pencil style, then you just have “no” there. Again, I just do things to try and be funny.

16: Make a neglected place loved

The first thing that came to mind was a grave made markless after being out and exposed to the elements for so long.

(Like this- creepy and generic)

And that got me thinking about how that’s the last thing holding their physical body to the mortal plane. Their body is there, there is likely evidence of their existence, but no one will ever know for sure. The memory of them and the physicality of their body are completely disconnected. Not to mention these graves are so old they’re likely not visited or cared for in the same way recent graves are, they’re not remembered. I wanted to do something to make them remember…

… but then I decided to just make haunted shit. I like the idea of fixing and renovating even if it takes away some of the personality of the house. I think it’s like a reset, like painting the walls in a rental or getting a tattoo. But what if the house didn’t want to be remembered? What if someone wanted it to stay the same…?

Enter the song “O Green World” by Gorillaz. It sounds like a person washing windows in a slasher film. I like the idea of following an unaware protagonist and following the narrative through the windows, like some of the other pieces I did in the past (see Scene Change: No Story Time and prompt #9). I kinda just drew a basic concept, but it would take place in a haunted house and the characters would interact with the different sets inside.

BONUS: ZINE!!!

I swear to God when the tutors were briefing us on the zine I felt my heart beating with anticipation. I wanted SO. BADLY. To do this. Ideas started racing through my head and I felt my hands jitter as ideas raced through my head. A zine is the perfect way to tell a story and boy do I have stories to tell.

I thought through a bunch of ideas, like doing something about Mothman, explaining the story behind Haakon’s banishment, doing something about The Adventure Zone, but I realized I could tell a cohesive story by just making it like a textbook. I took from the prompt first prompt, recreating and object from my past. Again, not my past.

This is the past of Bo Phadez and Sandman. My first long-term DND character met an elemental golem the first session of the game, shoved a handful of ash into its receptacle, and unfittingly named it Sandman. Sandman went through a whole character arc with Bo during the game, with them nearly getting blown up in the pursuit of an infinite power supply. The Game Master threatened killing him multiple times… but he knew I’d make him regret it. Sandman remains my favorite thing to have come out of my misadventures in DnD yet.

Time was short, so I had to act quick. I wrote the lines as if they were part of an SCP file or a textbook. That way, even if the reader didn’t understand the crazy world the story took place in (jumping from a desert planet to a space opera with nukes and guns in a page with characters pulled out of a Russian version of Lord of the Rings. I used a brush pen to make bold and quick lines.

As I drew, I realized I spent less and less time for each page… I just knew how to make the characters look how I wanted. I know pencil was banned, but I used it for putting down lines, and at some point I just stopped and went with the pen. I had a lot of fun considering the different blocking and ways to compose the screen, as well as making the text fit in the frame. I played with colors a bit, making sure to use them to show how Sandman was changing forms and powers without fully doing it. To make full use of the frames, I cut the paper so I could glue the backs of the pages together so I wouldn’t have to deal with creases while I drew.

Honestly, making this zine gave me an epiphany. I want to draw like this for the rest of my life. I love designing the characters and getting to know their designs well enough to do them quickly and expressively. This certainly wasn’t my best work, but it was the quickest one with the best results and the most pride in my work.

I really wanted to pursue this more.

This was the moment I decided I wanted to specialize in animation.

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In conclusion, I think I make art for reactions. I.e. whenever I had trouble thinking of deep connections that I would actually care about I tried to go for comedy or sarcasm. I don’t know why, but maybe it’s because I’m an entertainer at heart. I really enjoyed doing all these miniprojects. It’s like throwing pasta at the wall and seeing what sticks. This kind of format lets me really stretch my thinking style because I didn’t care too much about making sure the end product was perfect- I just wanted good ideas and had fun with it! Some prompts came slower than others, but I always figured something out.

#log entries #part I: diagnostic #trigger: 16 prompts

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