Had maybe one of the stupidest dreams today I've ever had today.

I was browsing the comic book shop and spotted a Patrick Bateman/Batman crossover comic. I tried to show it to some people to laugh at it because the idea of it was so stupid, but everyone was just like, "Yeah yeah, the Patrick Bateman/Batman crossover. We've all seen it." Like it's this infamously bad comic, known and widely mocked for its obviously stupid premise, made for stupid reasons (ohh haha they both had the same actor what if they were the SAME GUY heehee) along with an extremely edgy and ridiculous story played completely straight.

Then it got made into a movie and I found myself trapped in the theater while it was playing. I had just enough awareness to know that if I left, I could shift the storyline of my dream to something, ANYTHING other than fucking Patrick Batman. I tried getting out quietly and non-disruptively, but there were no walkways or sidestairs anyway. Just rows and rows of seats with no way to leave.

So I'm climbing over seats and pushing past the people in the seats who are totally enraptured by the movie, while in the background Patrick Bateman AS Batman (NOT Christian Bale but like literally the character Patrick Bateman is just inexplicably also Batman) is doing increasingly absurd spy-movie type getaways from villains. He's doing over the top action movie stunts, ziplining across power lines, beating people up as he makes his way to wherever he's going.

Simultaneously I'M scrambling to leave this shitty movie and apologizing to people for having to get past them and everyone is getting increasingly angry with me, NOT because I'm being disruptive in a movie theater but because I'm not showing this extremely important cultural staple the proper respect it deserves. Like people are reverential about this movie and are aghast anyone could not be.

Patrick Batman's escapade culminates in him hang gliding around an island that's about to explode from both an earthquake and impending volcano eruption. He's hooting and hollering and having the time of his life and also trying/failing to make witty one-liners because he's still like, a complete loser he's just also in the batsuit while this is going on. And the audience is supposed to think this is legitimately COOL and something to look up to.

I don't make it out of the theater but I DO get distracted enough by someone with a sick ass metal contraption costume that I can move on until I wake up but god. GOD. why did i dream about this. what's going on my life that caused this.