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navree · 1 year

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the misfortune of house of the dragon brainrot is that i remember shit from game of thrones and then i get mad and i was recently reminded of “robert’s rebellion was built on a lie” which makes me so unambiguously furious i’m finally gonna crack down and enumerate that fury to the rest of the populace in what may be my longest ramble to date.

so, first things first, i’m gonna be so very brave and ignore the emotions and everything behind rhaegar running off with lyanna, ignore the skeeviness of this man in his midtwenties pursuing a young teenager and the skeeviness of doing it while married and how much of a dick fucking move that is to do to elia who didn’t deserve any of that from her shit husband, ignore whether or not rhaegar and lyanna were in love or if it was kidnapping or whatever, because that’s not important.

what’s important is that the crown prince, the heir to the throne, next in line to the seat of power, committed an egregious offense against three major political powers. the foundational building block of robert’s rebellion isn’t about whether or not rhaegar and lyanna were “in love”, it’s about how rhaegar insulted house stark by taking a member of their family into custody in a way that puts her reputation at risk, he insulted house baratheon by taking someone who had been promised to a baratheon (it sounds awful to phrase it like that but this is how it would be seen in westerosi society), and he grievously insulted house martell by publicly shaming and humiliating a martell princess in a deeply embarrassing way. robert’s rebellion is built on rhaegar looking at his house’s allies and friends and essentially spitting on their faces.

and even then, that’s not what kicks off robert’s rebellion. what the rhaegar and lyanna situation does is kick off the starks going to the crown, to the legal head of the country, and wanting the situation dealt with. brandon, though somewhat brashly, is well within his rights to go to his king and say that he and his family have been dealt a grievous offense and that it needs to be addressed and rectified in some way. aerys’s response to that is to kill two members of that family, brandon and rickard, in an unseemly and brutal way, all for using the proper channels available to them to try and find a way to address a problem, an insult being done to them and their family, and then after aerys murders them for it because the idea happens to offend him, because he’s nuts, he then demands that two people who haven’t done anything at all yet, another stark son and lyanna’s baratheon fiancé, be handed over to him to also be executed.

what happens to brandon and rickard isn’t the only thing that’s seen as morally bankrupt in the eyes of westeros, it’s also aerys ordering that jon arryn break faith and hand over two teenagers who haven’t done anything or started any conflict themselves because they are also part of the wronged parties from his own son’s apparent fuck up. that is what causes jon arryn to summon his banners. that is what robert’s rebellion was built on, aerys’s actions following rhaegar’s. because aerys has, in modern parlance, broken the social contract (for anyone who isn’t as big a dork as i am about historical politics, the social contract is a theory/model that argues that individuals consent to be ruled by an authority and trade away certain freedoms in exchange for the remainder of those rights being protected in a safe and maintained social order, and that when a ruler breaks that promise by becoming too despotic or creating a breakdown in the social order, the populace is no longer beholden to uphold their end as well in consenting to be governed).

now, westeros doesn’t have a solid concept of the social contract because that’s something that only became a talked about thing during our age of enlightenment (mid 1600s to early 1800s AD) it’s a pseudo-medieval society, roughly equivalent to, like, the 800s AD (given that the doom of valyria is meant to be this world’s equivalent to the fall of the roman empire, which happened in 400 AD, while the doom happens about 400 years before the events of asoiaf). but there’s clearly some element of “we will allow ourselves to submit to your rule on the condition that you be good to us as a ruler, or else we will no longer allow said rule”, because that’s the entire basis for northern independence in the main books. the northerners believe that joffrey, in executing ned so suddenly and unceremoniously, on what are largely viewed to be trumped up charges, has broken the baratheon line’s social contract with the north, and thus do not need to uphold their own end of the contract, thereby declaring rebellion and fighting against that regime. and that’s what happens with robert’s rebellion. the arryns, starks, and baratheons have decided that, through the actions of it’s head (aerys) and it’s second in command (rhaegar), house targaryen has broken it’s side of the social contract, which means they no longer have to consent to be ruled by house targaryen, and will fight against house targaryen’s actions against them at that point.

robert’s rebellion was not, and never had been, built on the idea that lyanna wasn’t in love with rhaegar. that might have been robert’s own personal motivation, but that didn’t factor into the rebellion at large. robert’s rebellion was built on the really bad decisions made by prominent political actors in westeros, and how everyone responded to them. the main issue was that a group of powerful people saw that the other side of the social contract had violated that contract, decided to react, then everyone else chose sides based on who they supported in that decision and promptly duked it out for a year until one side ultimately won.

and man does that one line really encapsulate that season 8 gets the brunt of the backlash for being unbearably awful but basically everything that happened from them taking main control away from the books onward was just the height of stupidity, in every way.

#personal #asoiaf #anti game of thrones #i should have a tag for the specific moments when i write mini essays on here about shit i know none of you care about #but yeah i despise that line fuck that line #like whether or not the fifteen year old and the 25 married guy were in deep unconditional love doesn't matter #(even tho rhaegar is a huge asshole and elia should be allowed to hit him with a hammer)#(and then lyanna can borrow the hammer for robert who also sucks and will always suck but that's not the point here)#robert's rebellion started when aerys acted like a monster and essentially made the executions of brandon and rickard #the straw that broke the camel's back #also rhaegar's an idiot for knowing for a while at that point that his dad is unfit to rule and not doing anything about it #but that's it's own thing #really aerys and rhaegar are a textbook example of how birthright monarchy is just a giant fucking scam

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masaru2042 · 5 years

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King of the Monsters is the Best Season of Game of Thrones Ever!

When I came out of the theater, I hadn't had warm and fuzzies about a movie in...I can't tell you how long. And this movie gave me warm and fuzzies. And this is despite the nay-sayers and the idiot critics who are slamming this movie. Just a little FYI here, Godzilla beat out Aladdin for the #1 spot. Godzilla pimp-slapped the Mouse into second place opening weekend. And I approve of this.

But despite all the critics REEEEING over Godzilla and calling it garbage, I'm gonna tell you this movie is awesome and is worth your money. And if you have a $5 dollar Tuesday like me because you have a Cinemark Cinema in your town...and you're worried about shelling out too much money for something you think you might not like...go see it on Tuesday, pay the 5 bucks, and then see why I said it's worth every cent. And then go back and see it again full price if you want to.

So like any review I've done, usually I review a movie that I found bad and wanna shit all over it. It is my thing, after all. I mean see what all I've said about Godzilla Final Wars and everyone got pissy at me for hating on Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah 1991 and why I said I like GMK so much better...

And of course me shitting on Minya every time I mention Godzilla, because I hate that shit stain...I'm gonna actually give a positive review.

I mean the last movie review I did was Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, and...well...

It’s safe to say I really hated that movie.

But this one, I didn’t.

Just remember, this movie is worth every cent of your money. You did it! You did it, Hollywood! You finally made a REAL GODZILLA MOVIE! COMPLETE WITH THE ACTUAL GODZILLA THEME SONG! And the Blue Oyster's Go, Go, Godzilla at the end. And yes, there's even Mothra's theme song. And I was singing it during the movie. To anyone out there who said it couldn't be done...Cough-Steven Spielberg-Cough...we did it! America has finally made a real Godzilla movie! You also made the first Godzilla movie that actually gave a proper jump scare...and Godzilla was the one who did it, and I actually jumped! 10/10! You made me jump at a jump scare and I don't usually jump at jump scares. And yes, there was one, and it's at the beginning but...it's good. First Godzilla movie to have a genuine jump scare that actually made me jump. Thank you, movie! So, how does it start out. Well, it starts out in 2014 and we're following a family called the Russel Family. No sign of the Brody family, but that's probably because they finally got eaten by sharks because...JAWS, damn it! And also the Brody family was dull, save for Brian Cranston, and why the fuck didn't G2014 keep Brian Cranston in there? Anyway, we have Mark Russel, Emma Russel, and their daughter Madison Russel...who is played by the actress from Stranger Things...Millie Bobby Brown. I'm gonna refer to her as Eleven from here on out because that's who I know her the most as. And yes, next month, Stranger Things is coming back to Netflix, and I'm gonna be watching that. There's also Eleven's little brother, but he only appears in photographs because he ended up getting squashed by Godzilla's foot in San Francisco...so...I'm not gonna bother to learn his name. Interesting to note, the actor who plays Mark...played Bruce Baxter from King Kong 2005. But I barely recognize him...so, he doesn't get a quirky name. We do have Ken Watanabe returning as Ishiro Serizawa. Who I suspect is actually the sun of Daisuke Serizawa...though Daisuke is a completely different kind of person in the MonsterVerse than what he was in the original Gojira.

Okay, so, we cut to about 5 years later, so 2019 and we meet up with Eleven and her mom and El is contacting her dad who is not with them. He's studying wolves. And they have a little email convo, Dad's worried about his wife, El is worried about Dad, and so on. And I like how they build things up here because we don't realize that Eleven and her mom are in China studying Mothra's egg. Until we hear Mothra's call, and yes it is very recognizable. I suspect that there weren't veteran Godzilla fans like myself in the theater with me, so, pretty much every fan moment in this movie was something I would recognize but would mostly fall flat on most viewers. The monster calls and the music. Except for King Ghidorah's call...they were trying to do his call but...to be honest, it sounded like a bad mix of Heisei Ghidorah and the version they used in Final Wars. With a little Showa in there. The most perfect Ghidorah call was done in GMK. It made him sound powerful, big, and kept the iconic call. However, King Ghidorah's design looks rather interesting. It's more of an updated version of Heisei Ghidorah than any of the other Ghidorahs. Even more interesting is that the three heads all have their own separate personalities. How can I explain them? This fan art done by Michael J Larson just might help.

I present to you, Moe, Larry, and Curly. Legendary turned King Ghidorah into the Three Stooges. And here's the funny bit, Moe is the middle head, while Curly is the one on the right, and Larry is the one on the left. And just like in Three Stooges fashion, Moe hates Curly a lot. He even bops Curly a few times to pretty much make a point on just who these thee heads represent.

Rodan's call didn't sound much like Rodan's call either, but, I'm not a big Rodan fan, so I forgave it.

So, Eleven and Mom here goes down into a cave where Mothra's egg is so they can witness Mothra being born. And of course call the giant moth-like creature...Mothra. Because yeah. We need to state that. Complete with Mothra's theme!

Well Mom's got a gadget that seems to be able to create a signal that makes the monster docile, and lo and behold it works! And then Tywin Lannister shows up!

This is Charles Dance's character Alan Jonah...you know, like the whale...however, I'm gonna stick with Tywin Lannister. Because that's who he is! Well, Tywin kidnaps mom and Eleven. Tywin actually is trying to be a little nice to Eleven, even making a silly face at her. Which I thought was cute. Until she flipped Tywin off...because yes, Eleven can do that to Tywin! She's probably the only person who can flip Tywin Lannister the bird! Anyone else would have been beheaded.

Apparently Tywin now runs an eco-terrorist group who are a bunch of nihilists. And they wanna release King Ghidorah for the purpose of ending the suffering that man has caused the planet. So...Anime Godzilla Xaliens? Really, Tywin? The Dragon has three heads, but apparently you merely wanted to end the Targaryan dynasty just to set up the new Ghidorah dynasty. Well, to tell you the truth, King Ghidorah would make a better ruler than Bran the Broken, so he has my vote on that. Honestly, this whole movie is like the best Game of Thrones climax ever! With a little Stranger Things mixed in for good measure.

And King Ghidorah...or rather Ghidorah as they call him in the movie...is actually located in Antarctica. Because of course he is. How did he get there? We don't know. He is a space monster just like he usually is, and he also wants to fuck over everything on planet Earth, like usual. But this time...it's him doing it, and not someone controlling him...or rather...that device they call Orca sends out a call at first controls him, but the he's like "Naw, man, I'm my own boss." And really fucks over Tywin's plans. Because King Ghidorah at least listened to Olena Tyrell's suggestion of "Be a Dragon." And he pretty much shows how much he is a dragon, rather than what Danaerys did until the very last minute. Yes, I won't stop the Game of Thrones comparisons, shut up! So, apparently, Ghidorah has the Queen of Thorns on his side and she's been talking into his ear more than Mamma Russel's Orca's machine has. And to show Olena how much of a dragon he is, King Ghidorah eats a few humans as he is freed.

No, I'm serious, King Ghidorah eats people! Olena would be proud.

He also doesn't listen to Tywin Lannister. And neither did Aerys, but that's only because Aerys didn't want Cercei to marry Rhaegar. So, Tywin pretty much gave that dragon a middle finger and decided to get with another three headed dragon...a literal three headed dragon, and they're gonna fuck up the planet, yo! Until Olena Tyrell started talking to King Ghidorah about playing the Game of Thrones, and now King Ghidorah uses his magic monster call to literally "Call the Banners!" I'm fucking serious! There is a reason why the Game of Thrones references will not stop! King Ghidorah pulls a Rob Stark and turns to Maester Lewin.

King Ghidorah: "Maester Lewin..."

Lewin: "Yes, your Grace."

King Ghidorah: "Call the banners."

Lewin: "All of them?"

King Ghidorah: "All of them."

And the ravens fly!

Meanwhile, Daddy Russel got wind of his wife and daughter being kidnapped, as well as Orca being used to summon King Ghidorah and well, he seems to have a big beef with the monsters in general. Apparently, he has a bone to pick with Godzilla for the death of his son. And he wants to Inigo Montoya Godzilla's ass. The problem is, he's about the size of Godzilla's talon, so I don't think that duel is gonna work very well. However, it's here where we get to the jump scare that works and why I loved it. You see, in this scene, we're in an underwater Monarch base where they discuss what they want to do with Godzilla. Russel is on the "let's kill the bastard" boat along with the American military, and Serizawa is more on the boat of...we becoming Godzilla's adopted children in which he protects from other threats out there. Or rather...his pets. Which of course doesn't go very well over with the Americans. Because...

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You honestly think we're gonna be Godzilla's little pet humans, Serizawa? HELL NO!

But I chock that up to poor translation since English isn't Serizawa's first language. And maybe that came out wrong. Anyhoo...yeah, Godzilla's pets. No. I like you, big guy, but I ain't gonna be your cat.

So, while we're in this underwater base, Godzilla decides to show up! And they start pointing their guns at him...which kinda pisses him off. While Russel here hates Godzilla, even he knows it's not wise to go and pick a fight with him without a plan, so he even tells the guys to stand down, which they do. And then we have a moment where Godzilla slowly inches close to the glass and Russel and the King of the Monsters have some kind of moment. And to tell you the truth, it's a better moment than what we had with Brody and Godzilla. Well, Godzilla at first slinks back into the darkness...and everything seems fine. And this is where the jump scare happens. They don't draw it out to where you expect a jump scare to happen, like...most jump scares do. That's how you know it's a bad jump scare, they draw it out for so long that you know it's gonna jump out and get you. You're just waiting for it to happen. Here? Nope, the moment you think everything is okay, Godzilla jump scares you by just suddenly swimming by the glass.

And that's it.

And I did not expect it at all!

That's how you jump scare people! Again, this shows why Godzilla is King of the Jump Scares! There is no lingering shot, there is no "he's still there, he's still there, he's still there...he's still there..." It just comes right out of nowhere like a jump scare does. And I did jump. So again, good work, movie.

And I will say I like Russel as well. Yeah, he's in the "I hate Godzilla and I wanna see him dead" boat, but it's not taken to ridiculous extremes like you'd think it would be. He's smart, he knows when to fold them if he has to, which in Godzilla movies...is a good thing. You see, Godzilla movies tend to have characters like Russel be so over the top moronic in their hatred...you just wanna skip right over them and get to the monster fight. Russel is not one of these characters. His wife on the other hand...is an idiot, and I might as well address her.

She's flawed, and I'm glad we have for once a flawed female character in a world of female protagonists have to be perfect awesome people so that the feminazis can relate to them.

Apparently, the SJWs didn't really affect this movie much, and I'm grateful for that. Yeah, I had one guy tell me how he hated that Ghidorah wasn't called King and that he wasn't really a he...but an it. But I had to remind him that pretty much that's all the monsters. Including Godzilla. And Ghidorah's first movie was Ghidorah the Three-headed Monster in which this movie is a bit of a remake of. But not quite. In fact, I went into this movie thinking it was going to be a remake of that movie. Right down to Eleven being maybe a person possessed by some supernatural being who wanted to warn everyone about King Ghidorah's coming. She wasn't at all. I half expected Tywin to be some guy trying to assassinate her and he wasn't. And I thought Rodan would team up with Mothra and Godzilla against King Ghidorah after Mothra smacked their asses around and talked about friendship and the heart of the cards and shit, but he didn't and neither did Mothra. Mothra was on Godzilla's side, but not Rodan. Rodan was on King Ghidorah's side! He was one of the banners Ghidorah had Maester Lewin send a raven to. And another one of those ravens went to Nevada of all places and to...and I'm shocked to say this...Kumonga! Yes, our giant spider from the 60's Showa era has returned in the American reboot! And much like his Final Wars counterpart, he decided to be in the American Southwest. Maybe he liked Cowboys or something. We also had a giant mammoth creature rising out of Wyoming. And another MUTO. Why, Legendary? Why another MUTO? I guess we needed to reuse an asset or something. Well, it wouldn't be a Godzilla movie if we didn't. So...you're checking off the marks here, Legendary. We even have stock footage in the form of clips! They are checking off all the Showa marks!

So, while King Ghidorah is flying around in a hurricane he created (totally awesome) and telling Lewin to call his Banners, we suddenly find out that Mamma Russel was actually the mastermind behind this whole "the Dragon has Three Heads" thing. Yeah, Tywin Lannister wasn't the guy in charge, it was Ma Russel. And she managed to convince Eleven that this is for the well being of mankind. You see, she wants the monsters to basically cull the humans and our evil technology, and return the world to a more peaceful time where we were subsistence farmers worshiping giant monsters as gods? Because that was a more peaceful time?

And this is why she's an idiot. And her ideas is batshit crazy! The world has never been more at peace now than any other era. I'm not kidding about that. Yeah, we're polluting the planet, and we need to cut back our carbon footprint, but to be honest here...the planet was much warmer during the time of the Dinosaurs than it is currently NOW. And while I've touted about the lessons of the P-T Extinction Event, aka the Great Dying, in which a flood basalt in Siberia started an out of control greenhouse that resulted in nearly 90% of all life on the planet dying, including the life in the oceans, and set our planet in a biological to be resetted in a way...and that was caused by just the temperature rising on top of all the nasty gasses put into the atmosphere by said flood basalt...I don't think that just going back to subsistence farming is gonna solve the problem, lady. In fact, it's stated even if we just stop all the polluting now, the damage has already been done. There is no stopping it. And NO! Suddenly causing the entire planet to just become more radioactive is not gonna solve your problem either. She honestly believed that radiation is some miracle grow fertilizer. When, no it isn't. And Carl Sagan can tell you why! Did you not listen to Threads? Did you not watch that movie, lady? I feel like I need to sit you and Final Wars Godzilla down and you both watch that movie together to see why just pumping a bunch of radiation into the atmosphere is not gonna help things. Final Wars Godzilla needs to learn that we understand the message of nuclear war. Threads has told us that. And you, you moronic bitch, need to learn the lesson of radiation will make farming HARDER!

And apparently for a scientist, she's never heard of the Red Forest of Chernobyl.

If you want to know what it looks like to an entire ecosystem when it's been bombarded by radiation...just radiation alone...

See those red trees? That is caused by massive amounts of radiation being released upon a forest.

Again, I prove why I know more about radiation than anyone who makes a Godzilla movie. But this time, I will forgive it because this lady is actually stupid and everyone else is far more intelligent in regards to dealing with radiation. Seriously, how did this woman get a doctorate in which she ended up working for an organization built to study monsters from a time when the Earth was "more radioactive" as it's was stated in this universe's past? And unless you wanna die from cancer or bleeding out your ass, you need to sit your ass down and shut the fuck up. But thank god this woman is basically the villain and a stupid one at that. Even Tywin Lannister got tired of her shit. And Eleven just figured out her mother is a loon.

Basically, Tywin Lannister makes more sense than crazy lady, because well, he at least just wants to release the monsters and wipe out humanity as a whole. In which the radiation will certainly do that. So, he's pretty much on the bar on the consequences of what will actually happen more than the idiot bitch. He just wants to make it happen because he's seen enough evidence of what humans are like, and he's tired of it. Which I can respect. Not the whole genocide thing, but the whole...I'm not doing this to "save humanity from itself thing" like crazy moron had pretty much talked herself into...to the point of stupidity and forgetting what radiation actually will do to humans and the ecosystem. Sure, maybe the ecosystem was actually more hardy against radiation in this universe than in our own...but still...that doesn't resolve the issue that TODAY'S plants and animals are not hardy against it! Well our Monarch heroes show up to where Rodan was popping out of that volcano like in the trailer, and we finally get to the first fight. Monarch leads Rodan to the storm and King Ghidorah, hoping to just have the two fight...but they don't. Because Rodan is on Ghidorah's side. So, it's up to Godzilla to take this false king down. And he does! He literally pulls a Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah 1991 and decapitates Ghidorah's head!

Well...the United States has a plan to finally put all three monsters down and it's....

The Oxygen Destroyer

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Okay, this is where I'm gonna have to gripe. Because this thing is the single most stupid idea ever! But at least it does have a pay off in the stinger at the end when everyone basically states that the Gulf of Mexico is now devoid of fish. However, the existence of this weapon in this movie is uncalled for. But I suppose it's meant to set up the scene where Serizawa decides to sacrifice himself to bring Godzilla back onto the field. And to be honest, it's not needed. King Ghidorah could just be enough to knock Godzilla out for a few rounds while he goes on his little mayhem run and Serizawa can still sacrifice his life to revive Godzilla from that horrid beating. You don't need this thing in this movie, guys! You don't! You put it in there because you had that little teaser a few years back showing the Oxygen Destroyer in an old Monarch location and people were speculating it. So, you had to give us something.

And people wonder why my Game of Thrones references are happening in this review...because...this is Clegane Bowl, people. This is Clegane Bowl and how stupid Dumb and Dumber made it. It comes out of nowhere because the fans were expecting it, and you didn't even bother to set it in the Dragon pits and fill it to the brim with chickens. We are disappointed with you!

However, I did get a laugh out of it. Military guy: "We have this weapon we've been developing. It's called the Oxygen Destroyer! We're gonna use it on these monsters."

Thanks, America, you just killed all the fish in the Gulf. You morons!

And it didn't work on King Ghidorah because he's an alien. Tell Kiryuu Knight that! He managed to stick his Oxygen Destroyer into King Ghidorah and it worked like magic.

However, I will say that you're not the only ones who did something stupid with the Oxygen Destroyer, Legendary. Kiryuu did to in Halo 3 Different. He had the thing with him, took it to High Charity, and then forgot that he had it. Yeah, I'm capable of my idiot moments in writing as well. But I noticed that no reader really noticed the Oxygen Destroyer was even mentioned in that story...so, can't complain.

Well the Oxygen Destroyer also didn't really kill Godzilla, however it did wound him enough that he retreated to the bowels of the Earth to recover. Basically Hollow Earth theory. Or rather, not really. They call it Hollow Earth Theory, but it really isn't. I know Hollow Earth Theory because I love poking fun at morons who claim stupid shit. Hollow Earth Theory looks like this.

See that? That's a sun instead of a molten core. This is the theory touted by racists like Hitler and Lewis Farakhan. The thing the MonsterVerse came up with is more like...the crust is made out of Swiss cheese. Rather than the Earth being hollow. Basically, the Earth is Tennessee. Tennessee's crust is made out of Swiss cheese, and now these guys applied that to the entire planet. But no, the Earth isn't really hollow in the MonsterVerse, not the way the actual Hollow Earth Theory states. And that has been my biggest problem with the nomenclature they use for this theory in this universe. but I guess Swiss cheese Earth didn't really catch on as good as Hollow Earth. So Godzilla falls through one of these Swiss cheese holes and King Ghidorah regrows his head. Holy shit! However, I noticed, to regrow his head, he had to be sitting on a volcano with his storm raging over him. So...he's drawing power from somewhere to regrow that head, which is why he probably can't regrow his entire body from a single severed head in the totally not gonna make Mecha-King Ghidorah with Tywin Lannister as the pilot stinger. And he's calling his banners.

So this is where we have our Serizawa sacrifice scene. They go into one of the Swiss cheese holes after Mothra in her full glory appears and starts raining down her prettiness on top of the water to guide them to where Godzilla is...complete with her theme of course...and the guys find out some very ancient ruins of a civilization long gone. These ruins appear to be a hodgepodge of Egyptian, Mesoamerican, Mesopotamian, Eutruscan, Celtic creation. Why are they down there, why haven't we seen these things before, and is this the Lost City of Atlantis...I'm banking it's Atlantis. And the Atlantians worshiped Godzilla...before they all moved to Georgia and built the greatest airport mankind has ever seen.

It's all connected, I tell you!

LAX has nothing on Atlanta!

And the closer to where Godzilla is sleeping, the more radioactive it becomes. They decide to deliver a nuke to him to wake him up because nukes feed Godzilla. But the battle with Rodan and King Ghidorah damaged the sub's launching bay and they have to deliver it manually. So Serizawa draws the short straw, gives Papa Russel his notes on Godzilla, and decides to go in and give Godzilla the pick me up he needs. But not before Serizawa boops the Goji snoot. Which is cute. And going back to think on it. At least Serizawa gave Godzilla much deserved pats. Because he's a good boi, damn it! Unlike Jon who...only gave Ghost pats at the last second!

Why you so mean, Jon?!

It seems Godzilla is very much aware of our existence. As he's shown even in the 2014 film to notice those tiny ants under his feet. He is very much aware of the humans, and even after he awakens...to the sound of this...

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Since when did we import Akira Ifukube into this thing?

Okay, are you trying to show how awesome you are to us G-fans, movie, because we get it! We get it! You are awesome. Thank you for that.

Alright, so Goji theme going on and Godzilla starts heading to where King Ghidorah is.

Meanwhile, Tywin Lannister and his eco-lions along with crazy bitch and Eleven are in Boston of all places. While King Ghidorah is making a mess out of Washington DC.

But he is making a mess out of the place and according to the scientists, he's also trying to reformat the planet to suit his needs. In Boston, Eleven decides to steal the Orca and head into Red Sox Stadium. She hooks it up to the massive broadcaster speakers to signal to King Ghidorah to come to Boston. And it works. Unfortunately. Godzilla also gets that signal and he heads for it too. Papa Russel then gets the idea of rather than letting the Gods duke it out in the Red Sox stadium, it's probably time for the humans to show Godzilla that they are on his team. And so...by the power of Akira Ifukue...Godzilla and Monarch charge into battle. And no, not kidding about that either. They charge in with Godzilla's theme song playing in the background. And yes, Godzilla knows they are on his team. You can tell. You can seriously tell. Godzilla is surrounded by military planes and he's like "These guys are with me!"

I'm literally getting Godzilla vs. Hedorah vibes from this because Godzilla and the military actually did team up to defeat Hedorah. And not only that, but Godzilla acknowledged humans several times in that movie. And yes, this movie is actually dedicated to Banno, who was the director of Godzilla vs. Hedorah. So, I approve. And so would he. And it's explained in the movie why Godzilla recognizes the humans as his allies. The Orca's signal is not only mixed with the call of an alpha "titan" as the kaiju are called in the movie, but also the voice of humans. Because we're the alpha predators of this planet! So, Godzilla, obviously hearing not only that sound, but also seeing human dominance all over the place has pretty much recognized humanity as a partner species. And apparently he also recognizes Mothra as a fellow partner species that helps him keep the order, so he now has "imprinted" that status onto humans as well. We're not his pets, Serizawa, we're his partner. I knew the Serizawa's English was off on that. But it reaches the coexistence he is trying to achieve. Mothra also joins the fight, but a bit later when Rodan starts fucking Godzilla's shit over. Meanwhile, Godzilla is building up for a finishing move on Ghidorah...and because of that, there's a timer. Papa Russel wants to go in and save Eleven before that timer runs out. And I'm suspecting Godzilla knows this because he's actually holding back a bit. It's severely hinted that Godzilla knows this. At least to me it is. Like Russel shot Godzilla a message or something.

Russel: "Can you keep that thing busy, Godzilla? I gotta save my daughter!"

Godzilla: "Sure, but not for long. I'll give you 10 minutes, tops! But after that, I gotta unleash this nuclear pulse, or else I might blow myself up if I don't."

Russel: "Ten minutes! Got it!"

Again, not that I mind, but Eleven has Arya Stark plot armor, so...she'll be fine. However, the plot armor is a staple of Godzilla. So, not that gripey about it either. Honestly, when dealing with Godzilla, no character, not even the main ones, should have plot armor. Unless they are so far away from the fight it wouldn't matter.

That rule goes for you as well, Toho! Especially with that whole 24 week long half life thing you had in Shin-Godzilla! Plot armor was the only thing keeping those boring characters alive, because it sure wasn't their hazmat suits. Those things looked like they were made out of tissue paper. Which wouldn't help in dealing with rads that high. Even my mother would know that!

So, if 24 week long half life could get a pass on not killing characters in that shit of a movie, this much better one can get a pass on Eleven not dying.

Meanwhile, crazy bitch Russel finally decides to do something of actual merit and go after her daughter. And Tywin lets her. Because that's not his problem. Just as long as she doesn't take his men with her...he doesn't give a shit.

He really doesn't give a shit.

So that's it for Tywin, we don't see him again until the Stinger, but I've revealed that already. So crazy bitch goes after her daughter, Papa goes after his daughter, and they end up finding the Orca all smashed up. And Godzilla is not doing very well in the fight. He is obviously holding that nuclear pulse in. And yes, it is a nuclear pulse. He's like: "Russel, hurry up! I can't hold this fart in!"

Mothra punctures Rodan in the chest with her stinger. And honestly, she's GMK Mothra. Which is cool. However, she does end up dying during this fight in the attempt to help Godzilla get back on his feet. But like always, she is basically a phoenix and will rise from the ashes through another egg. King Ghidorah is kicking Godzilla's ass all over the place. And when the Russels finally reunite and fix the damned Orca, they turned it on and lead King Ghidorah away from Godzilla long enough for Godzilla to unleash his secret weapon that I spoiled. The nuclear pulse! And it is glorious! He goes red like Burning Godzilla from Godzilla vs. Destroyah, but...it's so much cooler. This red burning look isn't because he's gonna die, it's him charging up his new weapon. And that nuclear pulse is...basically like an atomic blast! Right down to the shearing of flesh from bones! Unfortunately, crazy bitch basically dies in the fire, leaving Russel and Eleven to watch from a distance as Godzilla incinerates King Ghidorah.

And for good measure to make sure Ghidorah doesn't come back...GODZILLA EATS KING GHIDORAH! That has never happened in any Godzilla movie. EVER. Clap! This Godzilla is just the most brutal of any Godzilla. I think GMK Goji might have to bow to this king since he EATS his foes!

And Godzilla stands over a demolished Boston, roars in triumphant. And as the other kaiju show up, he pretty much pulls a Robert Baratheon.

youtube

As if the Game of Thrones references couldn't stop there. So, Godzilla reveals himself to be King Robert Baratheon, which works out because Tywin Lannister is wanting to take him down. So, I'll describe the stinger at the end of the movie. We show Tywin Lannister and his eco-lions walking into a bunker and the guy is explaining that after the Oxygen Destroyer, the fishing in the Gulf is shit now. Because yeah. It would be. It's the Oxygen Destroyer. Well, as he walks into a large room, we see King Ghidorah's only remaining head with flies buzzing around it. And it looks exactly like the scene from Godzilla vs. Mecahgodzilla 1993 when General Aso and a team of scientists come into a room with Mecha-King Ghidorah's head in it...saying "We have it now, a robot to kill Godzilla."

And this is why I think Tywin Lannister is gonna build himself Mecha-King Ghidorah...and take over Westeros.

So all in all, I really look forward to Game of Thrones season 10. It really is shaping up to probably the best season we're ever gonna get. And Season 9 of Game of Thrones ended with a huge bang. I was really satisfied with what they did. Tywin's back! And he's backing the real Dragon...with the Three Heads. I don't think Maester Aemon thought the dragon having three heads meant King Ghidorah, but as George RR Martin stated...prophesies do end up biting your prick off.

So, what do you all think Season 10 of Game of Thrones is gonna be like?

All joking aside, I loved this movie. I really did.

And continuing the Game of Thrones comparisons, the night fight shots in this film...10 times better than The Long Night of Season 8 of Game of Thrones. Why? BECAUSE YOU COULD ACTUALLY SEE FIGHT! But if I have one true gripe to say about it...aside from the Oxygen Destroyer...it's that this movie happened BEFORE Godzilla vs. Kong.

No, I'm serious on this. This movie sounds like it should have been done after Godzilla vs. Kong. And I did kinda hated that King Ghidorah had to die in this movie, rather than return as an actual threat again later.

But who knows....we do have that head left over, so anything can happen.

#Godzilla King of the Monsters #legendary pictures #Godzilla #Game of Thrones #GoT Season 8 #Tywin Lannister #Charles Dance #stranger things #Eleven #King Ghidorah #Rodan #Mothra #Ghidorah #kaiju #American kaiju #Titan #spoiler review #movie review

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summerseachild · 5 years

Text

Summersea’s GoT Season 5 2019 Rewatch

We’ve reached the season that made me rage-quit a show that had once been my absolute favorite back in May of 2015! That means I’ve seen about half of these once four years ago. So... here we go.

5x01

1. WHY is Maggy the Frog sexy?

2. WHY is there no mention of the valonqar? Were they already planning Bran? Did they not think we could handle a word in another language? WHAT?

3. That scene with Jaime and Cersei at Tywin’s body hurts but SHE KIND OF HAS A POINT ABOUT JAIME KIND OF ACCIDENTALLY BEING A TEENY BIT RESPONSIBLE THO (on the other hand how could he have knoooooown Tyrion was going to KILL DAD?)

4. So... Varys is an immigrant who cares more about Westeros than most people born there, yes?

5. That poor Unsullied JUST WANTED TO CUDDLE

6. Missandei being to shy to say something to the tune of “whatever it is you can do I’d like to do it with you” to Grey Worm is... impossibly sweet.

7. HOW DID ALLISER LIVE THROUGH THAT? Slynt living is also not fair. What a waste of space.

8. Stannis’ offer to the wildlings is fair... underestimating how unlikely Mance is to kneel, but fair.

9. Brienne is MEAN to Pod here! I guess the losing Arya thing broke her a bit.

10. UGH SANSA RODE RIGHT BY THEM

11. Lancel’s actor BEEFED UP WOW

12. Margaery trying to watch out for her brother... what a good sister.

13. Daario 2 has a cute butt

14. Remember when Drogon got loose and Dany was worried that there was an ENTIRE DRAGON JUST FLYING AROUND SOMEWHERE?

15. Mance Rayder was a good person who cares about the Wildlings. All of them.

16. Jon putting that arrow into Mance’s heart while he was burning endeared Jon to me quite a lot.

5x02

1. Braavos is SO PRETTY! And the house of Black and White... so simple and stark. I love the architecture.

2. SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE FUCKING NIGHT?? Oh wait Podrick knows what Sansa looks like! What a sweet and useful boy.

3. Jeez Brienne intense much? Don’t frighten the girl.

4. “Why don’t you stay? It’s dangerous on the road” is Littlefinger speak for “I am going to kill you in your sleep” and BRIENNE KNOWS IT.

5. So I wonder who in Dorne thought it was a good idea to send Myrcella’s necklace.

6. Jeez Cersei what do you want from Jaime? You wouldn’t LET HIM be a father to the kids.

7. Jaime offering to GO GET HER... and with Bronn! LANNISTER AND BRONN ROAD TRIP PART 2 HERE WE COME.

8. Today the part of Elia I will be played Doran and the part of Arianne will be played by Elia. it’s very confusing.

9. Doran’s casting is still SO GOOD.

10. ELIA DO NOT MAKE CERSEI RIGHT ABOUT HER LINE “EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD THEY HURT LITTLE GIRLS”

11. I remember so little of Dany’s story from this part... Mossador seems cool but is he secretly loyal to the sons of the Harpy??? I remember something about her being ambushed? (I was right about the ambush, wrong about Mossador he was always loyal to Dany in his way.)

12. Barristan dropping some truth about the Mad King = GOOD

13. Varys being like DRINK LESS TYRION

14. Qyburn is more useful than ten Pycelles.

15. AND FUCK YOU TOO UNCLE KEVAN

16. Shireen teaching Gilly to read is SO CUTE. And... Greyscale can be cured? The spread arrested? I thought Shireen just had a very slow moving case. How is she CURED?

17. Lyanna’s response to Stannis... your favs could never

18. His face when Stannis asks Jon if he wants to be legitimized is like ????

19. No one likes you Janos sit down

20. Sam’s speech for Jon... what impeccable delivery. Making them laugh at Slynt, making them remember how badass Jon is... smart boy.

21. Good to see you again Jaqen-no-one!

22. Why so PUBLIC with Mossador’s execution? What kind of idiocy is this READ THE ROOM DANY. And execute him QUIETLY as your advisers probably told you was a good idea.

23. Drogon’s like “wow this roof looks nice oh hai mom”

5x03

1. That interior of the house of black and white with the pool and all of the gods... so cool and creepy

2. HOW OLD IS TOMMEN ANYWAY?? What a sweet kid though.

3. The Queen off continues... and Margaery shoots herself in the foot. That was CERSEI TRYING TO BE NICE FOR HER SON’S SAKE. And you can SEE the moment Cersei’s like FUCK THIS IT’S WAR

4. OMG pooR traumatized Theon and EW flayed men

5. RIDE THE OTHER WAY SANSA

6. Littlefinger has clearly not met Ramsay fucking Snow. Otherwise nothing he says to Sansa here makes sense.

7. At least they had the decency to admit that Brienne had been nasty to Pod and have them actually start to develop a sweet friendship. And Brienne tells him the story of the ball and Renly :(

8. I like that we’re getting some Jon and Davos interaction. So much good hearted gruffness in one place!

9. Sansa’s arrival at Winterfell just... no

10. TAKE LORD JANOS OUTSIDE YES THIS WAS SO LONG COMING

11. Ok that scene with the high septon and the prostitutes in the costumes of the Seven was kind of hysterical

12. Stay away from the high sparrow Cersei my love...

13. Wow, Jonathan Pryce, how did they get you for this? You’re better than this nonsense but getting to see you and Lena in a scene together is a gift.

14. Ok I jumped at Gregor rattling around on the table

15. So... Littlefinger hadn’t heard much about Ramsay, and the bastard is on his best behavior when LF comes to Winterfell. That answers some questions

16. Holy crap Tyrion is a child playing with the windows that roll up and down.

17. We get to see Volantis???? Coooool!

18. What is a red priestess doing preaching that Dany is the savior? Do they each have their own pet theories about who AA is?

19. Tyrion is terribly good at getting kidnapped.

5x04: Jaime and Bronn go to Dorne and there are some people pretending to be the Sand Snakes

1. The theme of this ep so far is “Lannister brothers on ships”

2. Jorah stealing the boat and throwing silver on the poor dude 😂

3. I... think I might not have seen this episode because I have NO MEMORY of that scene where Jaime tells Bronn he’s going to kill Tyrion if he ever sees him again. My heart.💔 (I found my tumblr archive form May of 2015, and I definitely HAD seen it. I think my brain just protected me from remembering this because it hurt too much.

4. I want a million reaction gifs of Qyburn being done or clearly having Thoughts Not Expressed

5. Do you know WHY the Faith Militant was disbanded Cersei my love? Cersei who is the mother of three of her brother’s children? BECAUSE THE FAITH HAD ISSUES WITH THE ALL THE TARGARYEN INCEST. What in ALL SEVEN HELLS possessed you to rearm them that kind of power?

6. I still HATE that the show makes the Faith SO MUCH MORE HOMOPHOBIC than it is in the books.

7. I’m going full on Lannister here because me reaction to Margaery bursting in on Tommen was BACK OFF, TYRELL.

8. LEAVE. TOMMEN. THE FUCK. ALONE. (Sparrows, Tyrells, EVERYONE.)

9. Jon writing to the Boltons for men even though he HATES THEM says a lot about him.

10. Mel just does a whole lot of sex magic doesn’t she...

11. I LOVE that we get a scene between just Stannis and Shireen where it’s obvious he loves her. And it makes me hate what happens later even more.

12. Sansa honoring Lyanna in the crypts is sweet. And LITTLEFINGER is the one who tells her the story of Lyanna and Rhaegar at Harrenhal?

13. Also how is Littlefinger assuming Sansa SURVIVES Stannis taking Winterfell from the Boltons?

14. EW HE KISSES HER AGAIN GROSS GROSS GROSS

15. I DEFINITELY HAVE NOT SEEN THIS. (Narrator’s voice: But she had) I would have remembered Jaime saying he wanted to die in the arms of the woman he loves. (Narrator’s voice: But she didn’t, which didn’t bother her as much as it might have. It was like getting to see shippy scenes for the first time all over again.)

16. THAT ONE SHOULD BE SLOW ENOUGH 😂 ILU BRONN

17. Jaime being obsessed with not starting a war makes sense because he ALREADY DID IT ONCE AND THIS TIME DAD IS DEAD.

18. And on the other hand Elia wanting to START A WAR I AM SO ANGRY

19. Obarra getting tell the story about the spear is cool though

20. BUT WHERE IS ARIANNE? STILL ANGRY.

21. Poor not drunk as he would like to be Tyrion. He’s quick though with recognizing Jorah.

22. I’m trying to imagine younger Barristan protecting his idiot prince who liked singing in public and it’s kind of fun

23. Well this is clearly a trap. Also that many unsullied should have been able to WIPE THE FLOOR with those sons of the Harpy even in close quarters.

24. Barristan Selmy: WHAT A BADASS. He’ll be missed.

5x05: And now my watch was ended because D and D did something awful in the next episode.

As I mentioned before, after I rewatched the whole season, I went back to my archive and found the last post where I talked about watching GoT when it aired first run, and it was about this episode. I just read it again for the first time and MY FEELINGS HAVE NOT CHANGED on many points.

1. Letting Viserion and Rhaegar eat that Meereenese noble is something Aerys would have done and doesn’t make them love her any more likely to behave.

2. So... who is writing Maester Aemon about Dany?

3. Jon Snow, Breaker of Chains? I like that he frees Tormund and gives him reasons to follow him but lets the choice be his.

4. Grammar stickler Stannis is always good for a laugh.

5. Wait wait... Brienne was close enough to Winterfell to SEE IT OUT THE WINDOW??? What in all Seven Hells?

6. We needed a scene of Myranda and Ramsay talking about Sansa like I needed a dagger in the eye

7. Ok ok cool parallel of Sansa standing at the base of the tower looking a lot like Cat.

8. Holy shit did Sansa not know Theon was there before Myranda showed her???

9. Ramsay playing mind games with Theon making him think he’s going to hurt him... yikes

10. And forcing the two of them to interact in ways that he could control and make awful was... kind of smart

11. No Walda should not be telling people she’s pregnant... but how could she know that Ramsay was a danger to her unborn child? She seems a trusting sort.

12. Sam insisting that Gilly knows valuable things too is... so pure

13. This rewatch is turning me into a rampant Missandei/ Grey Worm shipper and I like it.

14. Dany’s outfit when she goes to see Hizdar in prison looks very Star Wars to me.

15. Jorah and Tyrion sailing through the Doom is still the DUMBEST shit.

16. The old city looks neat though. And that’s a fun poem.

17. AND A WHOLE ENTIRE DRAGON (are dragons homing pigeons?)

18. Tyrion’s face when he sees that dragon is still so great

19. STONE ZOMBIES ARE CREEPY and now Jorah has greyscale.

5x06: I want to just watch this episode and get it out of the way and at the exact same moment I NEVER WANT TO WATCH IT EVER. It’s Schroedinger’s Episode.

I know this is the episode with THAT SCENE. The reason that I finally stopped watching. Let’s just assume I’m going to be angry but also probably very affected by performances and extremely upset.

1. In the House Of Black and White, a curious child adores an open door....

2. Arya doesn’t hate the Hound. That she still does is a lie she tells to herself, and I THINK THAT’S INTERESTING.

3. Well of course Jorah wouldn’t know about his dad’s death... :(

4. holy shit Arya making up lies on the spot to comfort that sick little girl before helping her KILL HERSELF

5. That is some SERIOUS MAGIC SHIT GOING ON with all those faces. That scene is exactly as creepy as it needs to be

6. Tyrion has some points about Dany having Targaryen crazy in her dna and how she hasn’t spent a day in Westeros...

7. Well... Tyrion found some people who think his cock is as magical as he does. To bad they want to sell it unattached.

8. Cersei is working out of Tywin’s office. Love it.

9. Wow Petyr... that’s a play for power. He gets the North, he gets Sansa...

10. Trystane Martell is SO CUTE. And I miss Aimee as Myrcella.

11. I LIKE TO IMPROVISE?? Like Indy??? Jfc Jaime

12. Wtf even was all that nonsense in the water gardens other than some cool fight choreography. (Have I mentioned how pretty the Water Gardens are? SO PRETTY.)

13. The parallels between Cersei and Olenna and Tywin and Olenna in that office.... right down to the Lannister writing to make Olenna wait... fascinating.

14. Cersei did NOT expect the Sparrows to trot out Olyvar. Did she? She genuinely seemed surprised when he walked into the room.

15. Olenna thinks it’s Cersei’s fault anyway and that’s what matters.

16. Sansa’s dress is pretty and the Weirwood is pretty and everything else is awful and there was NO NEED FOR THAT SCENE. It didn’t tell us ANYTHING NEW ABOUT RAMSAY and what he’s capable of or shed any new light on Sansa or Theon it’s just gratuitous rape and psychological torture porn and it’s just gross.

5x07

1. Maester Aemon holding little Sam is the most precious thing. He will be missed. “Egg I dreamed I was old” 😢

2. Oof. That first scene in this ep between Sansa and Theon is ROUGH. She is so desperate and he is so brainwashed and the fact that she can be furious at him one moment and reminding him who he is the next... my heart was not meant to take this.

3. Is this scene supposed to mirror Sansa and Joffrey on the wall? IT IS only with more sophisticated mind games.

4. WHY ARE YOU POKING HIM ABOUT WALDA’S BABY SANSA DO YOU WANT ALL OF YOU TO DIE

5. Stannis being like THIS IS OUT LAST CHANCE TO MARCH SOUTH AND NOT BE STUCK AT THE WALL. But... don’t people bop up there all the time after this? D and D probs forgot.

6. So... Ghost has just decided he likes Sam and Gilly? He has good taste in people.

7. Dany is with Daario for a LONG time. I hadn’t realized how drawn out their thing was.

8. I AM A QUEEN NOT A BUTCHER no Dany you’re a bbq-er. Sigh.

9. Tommen being helpless breaks my heart a bit. And that scene between him and Cersei is... devastating.

10. Myrcella is Sansa part 2... pretty and naive and at the mercy of the adults around her

11. what is the point of sand snake boobs here

12. How did I not know that Jorah ended up in the fighting pits?

13. Tyrion is a gift indeed.

14. Fucking puritans I cannot stand them (ask me about how I cursed Oliver Cromwell’s name in England a lot.)

15. I cannot wait to see Cersei keep her promise to that Septa. I do not think that was what I was supposed to take away from Cersei getting thrown in that cell but I’m over here like PAY THAT DEBT MY BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN QUEEN 👑

5x08

1. Tyrion’s intro to Dany about why he’s valuable makes me so angry. Not because I think it’s badly written, but because Tyrion tells her true things that she apparently didn’t internalize about devotion and wisdom.

2. Poor scaly Jorah... tossed out of Meereen.

3. Religious people who try to starve and torture confessions out of those they think have sinned need to DIE IN A FIRE. I am so done with the Faith.

4. Arya “Lanna” selling oysters is cool and all but now I want oysters.

5. Qyburn is a darling atheist and Cersei’s best ally in that place.

6. I HATE SANSA TELLING THEON SHE WOULD DO TO HIM WHAT RAMSAY DID I don’t care that she doesn’t know the extent of what Ramsay did to him it makes her look cruel and the VIEWERS KNOW and UGH GROSS

7. Holy shit Sansa didn’t know Bran and Rickon were alive.

8. Theon insisting he’s Reek 💔💔💔

9. Tyrion and Dany’s interactions have got my attention. I’m cautiously here for them.

10. Do we know how things are going over in Slaver’s Bay by the end? Does anyone care?

11. Yes but Dany THE WHEEL HAS A PURPOSE. What do you propose to replace it with?

12. The question Olly brings up of “why ally with the people who slaughtered peaceful farmers? What keeps them from killing people on our side of the wall?” Is a good one, and I wish we’d gotten to see Jon argue sensibly for his solution more.

13. Wow did Tormund just kill Rattleshirt?

14. The leaders of the free folk are an interesting group. What is the woman’s name I wonder? Also I hate spiders but WHY DID WE NOT GET ICE SPIDERS.

15. Tormund gets it and likes Jon. It’s kind of sweet.

16. So... I’m calling that cool wildling leader woman isn’t going to last the episode. Ladies without names don’t get to bond with their kids that much if they’re going to live. <--It’s an awful burden being right all the time.

17. Shit these wights are a lot more active than the old ones

18. Jon and the Night’s watch and the wildlings fighting alongside each other to give people time 👍

19. VALYRIAN STEEL BITCHES

20. Of course she died because women are soft hearted and can’t deal with zombie kids.

21. Jon and the night king having an epic stare off before he raised the dead was kind of cool tho. Also I think Wun Wun the giant is nine kinds of awesome.

5x09: In which I am probably about to lose all respect I ever had for Stannis Baratheon.

1. So I forgot about Ramsay and thought Mel was lighting fires with her mind 🔥

2. Did... Alliser just give Jon a complement? A backhanded one?

3. Omg Stannis is GETTING DAVOS OUT OF THE WAY for what he plans to do YOU BASTARD YOU KNEW DAVOS WOULD STOP YOU.

4. Ok Show Ellaria pouring out wine rather than drinking with a Lannister is fun but NOT HER.

5. Also wherever they filmed that scene with Doran is SO BEAUTIFUL.

6. Meryn Trant is ON HER LIST AND RIGHT THERE

7. And he’s a fucking pedophile ew. Kill him good, Arya.

8. A girl thinks she just lied to Jaqen without him noticing.

9. You know who’s responsible for Oberyn’s death? OBERYN who volunteered and THE MOUNTAIN who killed him. Not Jaime or Tywin or ANYONE BUT THOSE TWO and anyone who actually saw it happen should KNOW THAT, ELLARIA

10. FEEL BAD WHEN SHIREEN ASKS TO HELP, STANNIS. that’s right feel bad

11. I can’t believe NONE OF THEM in that Baratheon army stopped Mel from BURNING A CHILD. Bystander effect?

12. Too little too late Selyse.

13. As of right now, he loses any moral superiority he ever had and I can’t wait to see Brienne shish kabob him

14. Jorah what is the PURPOSE of getting yourself in front of her at the pits?? (Dany’s dragon collar is badass tho)

15. And all of a sudden sons of the Harpy, who were apparently hiding those masks like guy fawkes masks at a protest...

16. TYRION SAVED MISSANDEI YES GOOD also that shot of Dany taking Missandei’s hand gave me feelings

17. LEAVE MY MOM ALONE AND ALSO I AM HUNGRY: Drogon pretty much

18. Ok DANY FLYING OFF WAS COOL.

5x10 I have SO MUCH WINE READY

1. The armchair theologian in me has questions about the reality of the lord of light given the timing of the snow melting enough that Stannis can movie his army. (My wife thinks Mel did some serious blood magic in this case that may or may not have involved any actual divine intervention)

2. FEEL BAD STANNIS YOU MADE CHOICES

3. I would feel worse for Selyse if she hadn’t been horrid to Shireen every single other second.

4. Yay they figured the Valyrian steel swords work. Sam is smart.

5. Jon’s “congrats on the sex, friend” face is priceless

6. Wow the sellswords took ALL THE HORSES. This means Stannis Baratheon, claimant to the throne, is WALKING.

7. YES SANSA PICK THAT LOCK

8. Wow that’s gonna be a masacre. Yikes. I’d call Stannis brave for standing and fighting but he probs knew he had no chance of surrender with the Boltons.

9. UGH SHE LIT THE CANDLE AND BRIENNE ISN’T THERE TO SEE IT

10. I don’t know what Brienne is going to say when she kills Stannis but I would like to suggest “Renly Baratheon sends his regards”

11. Ok that was much more honorable.

12. Me to Ramsay: 🎶 “You’re going to get eaten by dogs AND I’M NOT SORRY.” 🎶 (my sis in law snorted from the other room at that)

13. No one told me Theon kills Myranda for Sansa yes good

14. THEY FLEW

15. Arya killing Meryn Trant is a special kind of horrifying I’m just bloodthirsty enough to cheer for.

16. Wait wait she just STOLE A FACE? It works for her without any permission?

17. Oh ok I see that wasn’t creepy at all.

18. ...and Ellaria just literally gave Myrcella the kiss of death what

19. THE BAD PUSSY LINE GAVE MY WIFE A HEADACHE I AM NOT KIDDING

20. Jaime trying to be dad and bonding with Myrcella (or trying to) is SO CUTE and the look on his face when she says SHE IS GLAD HE’S HER DAD AND SHE HUGS HIM KILL ME NOW

21. I can hear book Ellaria screaming from here. And I just killed about half a glass of wine for Myrcella.

22. Of course Tyrion speaks Valyrian that’s darling

23. The meeting of the “Find Dany Committee” is fascinating. Daario is kind of in control here??? But what he suggests makes sense???

24. What an adorable triumvirate of Tyrion, Missandei, and Grey Worm!

25. VARYS! Hiiiii! Tyrion is going to need you I have a feeling.

26. Aww look at Drogon’s little dragon nest poor wounded thing.

27. Now... was this Khalasar just passing by? Did they see the dragon and come to see what was up?

28. SAY CONFESS ONE MORE TIME BITCH

29. A girl lies well. Good one Cersei.

30. AND HAIR GROWS BACK. (She doesn’t get to say it here but I was screaming it internally) I kind of can’t wait for her to wildfire the lot of them. The Faith and the high sparrow and all of the self righteous assholes can go fuck themselves

31. SOMEONE GIVE HER A CLOAK

32. THANK YOU QYBURN. When the necromancer is the most welcome sight ever... things have taken an odd turn (seriously though the genuine care he seems to have for her is touching???)

33. DOES DAVOS KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO SHIREEN Must not because Mel would be dead right now

34. Happy Ides of Winter Jon

35. Congrats dudes you killed a kid (ok fine a man) that was better than all of you

36. Glasses of wine consumed: Two BIG ones.

#summersea got rewatch 2019 #summersea has feels about got #I've had this in my drafts for days #don't know what happened #we watched 6x10 last night #so that's coming up as soon as I edit the flailing I did on my phone

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hoopslab · 7 years

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Game of Thrones S7 Ep 7 The Dragon and the Wolf: His name is Aegon Targeryen

SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES ON HBO, UP THROUGH THE FINALE OF SEASON 7. I said, SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES ON HBO, UP THROUGH THE FINALE OF SEASON 7.

There were a lot of candidates for the sub-title for the finale. I thought about using “A Game of Posturing”, for all the posing and bluffing that went on. I considered “It’s what honor demands”, as that was a hot quote from the trial. I even thought about “the lone wolf dies but the pack survives”, as that line is a microcosm of the show as a whole. I use all of those lines below, but ultimately, for the lead I had to go with Jon’s breakout moment. There are lots of epic scenes in history built around a powerful re-introduction of someone we already know:

“They call me Mr. Tibbs!” --In the Heat of the Night

“The name is Dalton.” --Roadhouse

“What’s my NAME?” --Muhammad Ali

The point is, that type of scene normally puts some stank on the moment. It’s the scene that people talk about afterwards.

In the season finale, having the big reveal of Jon’s true heritage and name (most of which we already knew, but the characters on the show didn’t) come through a robot Bran narration could have dulled the moment...but having that reveal happen while he was finally bending the knee (to get leverage) with Dany allowed it to be the type of mic drop moment that those scenes usually are.

So, now it’s official. Sam was actually listening to Gilly after all, and between he and Bran they’ve determined Jon’s true heritage...even his true name, Aegon Targeryen (Side note, but in the Rhaegar-Lyanna wedding...was Rhaegar played by the same guy that used to play Viserys in season 1? If not, they looked more alike than Gendry and Podrick). So...what’s this mean moving forward?

Well, it of course means that Jon and Dany already have their first fight as a couple lined up. Dany’s whole identity is built on being the last Targeryen and “rightful heir” to the Iron Throne, so she’s not going to like at all that her new lover outranks her. As for Jon, I think he’ll be the one that’s more grossed out that he’s been banging his hot auntie. All in all, a nice point to leave that particular storyline on, going into the six-show final season. As for the other storylines...

Bronn the go-between-brother again

I’ll keep this point brief, because it’s relatively small in the scheme of things, but they did a good job again of giving Jamie and Bronn a scene, followed by giving Bronn and Tyrion a scene, thus using Bronn as the go-between-brother for the estranged Lannister boys. They also used the Bronn-Jamie conversation at the start of the show to establish a strange “cockless” theme to the show that they would continue later with Theon winning a fight after his opponent tried to knee him in his now non-existent nuts.

A game of posturing

One interesting thing about this finale was that there was very little action in it, relatively speaking. In Episode 5 we got Dany unleashing the dragon and dancing Dothraki in a huge battle sequence. In Episode 6 we got a huge zombie battle with dragons and Olympic-caliber javelin throwers. So, for two straight weeks the showrunners have been breaking the budget for their fight sequences.

The finale, then, was more about politics and personal interactions. And this was on display, big time, in the big meeting of the monarchs at King’s Landing. Neither queen wanted to be the first to arrive, trying to delay their entrances to make an impact. When everyone but Dany was there, the Hound stepped to the Mountain and talked mad trash, knowing that they weren’t actually about to fight. Dany made her big entrance on her dragon, thus attempting to wow everyone with the dragons’ majesty. Then, once everyone was in place and ready to talk, Euron made an ass of himself to diss Theon and Tyrion, just because he could...and no one was in a position to do anything about it.

All told, it was like an NBA fight...a lot of loud talking and “hold-me-back”ing, trying to take control of the conversation and the narrative. But then...

Zombie magic meets Abraham Lincoln

The show-runners continued the theme this week of coming up with the most difficult ways for the characters to transport the zombies around. Last week, they had no plan to get the zombie back to the wall, across miles of snow. This week, they decided they needed the Hound to carry the zombie’s crypt in on his back like a giant backpack...I just have to feel like there was a more efficient way to get this done.

Be that as it may, once the Hound finally kicked the crypt over and the zombie jumped out, the reactions were worth it. Cersei looked actively scared. Jamie looked horrified. And Dr. Frankenstein looked absolutely fascinated, like he couldn’t wait to make one himself. Euron “fled” the scene to go back to Iron Islands because he was terrified. Cersei seemed right on the verge of being won over, with her one stipulation that if she helped, Jon couldn’t then join the subsequent battle for the throne on Dany’s side.

The smart thing for Jon to do, of course, would be to lie. Tell Cersei whatever she wants to hear to get her in the fight, then do whatever he needed to do later. But, we all know that Jon, like his “dad”, or his older “brother” Robb, would not do that. Like Abraham Lincoln, he cannot tell a lie. So, he publicly admits that he’s bent the knee to Dany, pisses Cersei off and closes the negotiations, and completely negates the whole purpose behind their suicide trip beyond the wall and the current suicide negotiation. The reactions were hilarious.

Davos, Dany and Tyrion altogether: “You know nothing, Jon Snow”

The only thing that Tyrion can think of to resolve the situation is...

Tyrion faces off with Cersei

...to go talk to his sister one-on-one. Much like the zombie hunting trip and this entire meeting, this seems like a bad idea to me...in large part because Tyrion HAS to know that Cersei was never going to respond to reason if it meant weakening her power.

However, as he articulates to Jamie, there’s an even better reason for Tyrion not to do this: “I’m about to step into a room with the most murderous woman in the world, whose already tried to kill me twice...that I know of...who’s the idiot?”

Who, indeed?

Of course, the scene was masterful. Lena Headey and Peter Dinklage absolutely killed the scene. I always love watching them face off. Cersei started off spitting venom, Tyrion dared her (and the Mountain) to kill him...then breathed a huge sigh of relief when his call of her bluff seemingly caused her to back down. I can’t lie, though, when he drank her wine I thought she might have poisoned him.

Instead, Tyrion seemingly wins Cersei’s support to their side after noticing that she was pregnant. Actually, though, she was telegraphing her pregnancy and pretending...doing exactly like she has all season, fooling her baby brother. And, much like Jon didn’t do, she lied to gain the advantage (or at least what she perceived as the advantage).

Littlefinger putting in work

As usual, Littlefinger was in Sansa’s ear, trying to guide her where he wanted her to go. He whispered that Jon had been named King in the North, so he could be un-named. He made Arya out to be a threat worth putting down. And really seemed to be controlling the scene, with Sansa eating out of his hands as usual.

Only, as I’ve pointed out before, I always felt that Sansa would be his downfall. And they telegraphed that a bit in this scene, when Littlefinger tried to make Sansa believe that Arya wanted to be the Lady of Winterfell. Arya has NEVER wanted to be the Lady of Winterfell...that was never her dream, and Sansa had to know it.

Jorah’s last stand

Jon has been putting in work on Dany for about four episodes, now. Earlier, in another one-on-one talk with his queen, he pointed out something I’ve been waiting for 20 years for someone to point out...that just because the witch said Dany was barren, doesn’t make it true. Jon’s been reeling her in for awhile, and was getting close to landing her.

Jorah, the original Ser Friend Zone, knows it. He’s been watching Jon and Dany from the cut, and he could see that Jon was about to close the deal. So when Jon suggested that he and Dany take a nice, romantic boat ride together up to King’s landing, Jorah jumped in with his last stand...(paraphrased) ”Hey Khaleesi, maybe instead of that, you should fly your dragon up to Winterfell, ALONE.”

Jon gave him the “nice try, son” look, then gave Dany the eye and said “you know you should roll with me.” Dany said “word”, and Jorah’s face said it all. He knew it was over

You’re a GreyJoy...and you’re a Stark

Jon and Theon had another, this time more extended, scene together in which Jon’s thinking “I should kick your ass” and Theon’s thinking “I wonder if Jon’s about to whoop my ass”. But, though brief, it was a touching scene. When Jon told Theon that he forgave him for everything that he could, and that Theon was both a Greyjoy and a Stark, Alfie Allen nailed about three different emotions with his face without saying a word. Jon then sends Theon off to go rescue his sister, Yara.

The rest of Yara’s men are ready to give up on her and sail away. Theon is all pumped up after Jon’s pep talk, and after rope-a-doping his vassal into pummeling him until he ran out of breath, he takes advantage of his eunuch state to win the fight and win over the crew to go after his sister.

It’s what honor demands

This scene was the culmination of the weeks of Sansa/Arya tension that Littlefinger has been instigating. Sansa has the soldiers march Arya in and surround her, as though they were about to attack her.

Arya took it like a G. She looked around at the guards, then asked Sansa “you sure you want to do this?” like she didn’t have a care in the world. It was a tense moment, but again, for me there was a tell that a twist was coming. Robot Bran was sitting right next to Sansa...even as detached as he is from reality, there’s no way he would calmly sit by and let Sansa try Arya for murder and treason. Thus, I maybe wasn’t as shocked as the showrunners hoped when Sansa turned the accusation on Lord Baelish instead.

I thought that was a very poetic scene. Arya’s smile after the accusation was priceless. Sansa did a great job of spilling all the tea she knew about Littlefinger’s crimes against Lysa, Cat and Ned. When Baelish claimed no proof, Robot Bran jumped in with some quotes. Then, Arya had the receipts (err, I mean, the dagger) and tied that to Littlefinger as well. In the end, he was toast and he knew it, which reduced him to begging. Arya was the one to fittingly do the throat slashing, but as I figured, Sansa was the actual instrument of Littlfinger’s destruction.

Jamie’s calls Cersei’s bluff

As I’ve pointed out before, Jamie has long had an ‘angels on one shoulder, devil on the other’ thing going on. Cersei is the devil that pulls him into all types of trouble, but his three angels of Tyrion, Bronn and Brienne try to humanize him. All three were in action today, bringing him as close to human as he’s been in a long time.

Thus, when his devil sister reveals that she conspired behind his back, calls him an idiot, and threatens to have the Mountain kill him...Jamie finally has enough and steps off. After Tyrion had called her bluff earlier in the episode, I really thought Jamie might catch a bad one when he tried to do the same. But, the Mountain doesn’t attack, Cersei lets him go, and Jaime goes off to join the good fight in the north. Bravo, Goldhand.

The Lone Wolf dies, the pack survives

Sansa and Arya had their final walk-off scene for the season, as they reflected on how they stuck together through the hardships. Both sisters complimented the other and finally mended the relationship on screen (hopefully once and for all). They then gave the money quote that describes the entire series:

“In Winter we must protect ourselves, look after one another. When the Snows fall, and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives.” The three true Starks have finally started operating like a pack, just in time for their half-wolf/half-dragon brother to arrive at the start of next season.

Wall comes tumbling down

As soon as the Night King revived the dragon with blue eyes in Episode 6, I figured that he would fly the dragon over the wall. I thought he’d do so, then go open the door so that the Others could march through.

I wasn’t thinking big enough.

Instead, the Night King rode his new dragon to the Wall and burned the whole thing down with blue fire (ice fire?). Why open a door, when you can knock down the whole thing?

So...the white walkers are finally in Westeros, for real. The season ends with them marching into the world of men, with their army of at least 100,000 dead men and monsters.

This was a nice way to end the season. There are, reportedly, six episodes left next year to finish the story. The pieces are in place for an epic last season, and I’ll be waiting and ready to go through it with you at this time in 2018. If you’re looking for something to help get you by in the meantime...holla at me about the book I wrote. Have a good winter.