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presumenothing · 7 years

Text

modus operandi

aka the one literally entitled “sick day” in my drafts. not entirely as serious as it might sound. am I ever going to be done writing these two? nah

(AO3) (FFN)

Bzzt. Bzzt.

He groaned.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

What was that noise? He was trying to sleep here -

Bzzt. Bz-

It cut off mid-buzz. Conan sighed in relief, and went back to sleep…

Only to have a new noise start up again what felt like milliseconds later, along with the distant sensation of a hand on his shoulder.

Conan turned his face into the couch cushions and shut his eyes even tighter, pointedly ignoring the buzzing.

Though it was starting to sound a lot less like buzzing, and a lot more like a voice. A familiar voice, at that.

“Shinichi-kun?” said the buzzy voice, while the hand on his shoulder shook him slightly. “You’ve got a call. It’s from Ai-kun, she says it’s - ”

It went on to say more stuff, which he didn’t pay much attention to, though he did open his eyes to find the source.

Which was Agasa-hakase, as it turned out, his expression concerned as he leaned over the back of the couch to look at Conan. “It’s alright if you’re not feeling up to it, Shinichi-kun, I’m sure she can - ”

“No, ’s fine,” Conan just about managed to mumble, his mind finally processing the disjointed sentences he’d heard. “She called, must be imp’rtant.”

Agasa-hakase nodded, and held out the handphone to him.

Haibara?, he tried to say, but it came out more like a garbled string of syllables as he pushed himself to a sitting position and tried not to feel the world spinning about him.

“Good afternoon to you too, Edogawa-kun,” came the crisp reply anyway, followed by a babble of sound in the background. “The kids say hi too, and Ayumi-chan hopes you’re feeling better.”

“I don’t, but tell her I said thanks anyway.” He reached for the glass of orange juice that Agasa held out to him and took several quick sips, feeling - well, not better, but at least infinitesimally closer to functional. “Why’d you call?”

“Because your luck appears to have come with us on the outing, even if you didn’t.”

…okay, not functional enough to process Haibara’s particular brand of snark, apparently. “What?”

There was a long-suffering sigh. “We ran into a murder, Edogawa-kun. And you’re really out of it, aren’t you. Have you been drinking enough water? Taking your meds?”

“Yes and yes.” Conan yawned, and rubbed at his eyes. “Like I had a choice, what with you and Agasa-hakase clucking like mother hens. He’s been trying to drown me in orange juice, too, I think I’ve drunk two litres of it since this morning.”

“Good, I told him to.” Haibara sounded mostly satisfied… and possibly a bit sympathetic? (He might’ve just been imagining that one, it wasn’t exactly like he could tell right now.) “I could call Hattori-kun instead. You sound terrible, frankly.”

“Gee, thanks,” he retorted. “Hattori would never let me hear the end of it. You mentioned a murder?”

“Hardly, Hattori-kun knows how bad your colds always get, he probably wouldn’t hold it over you.” She paused, seeming to consider it for a moment. “Not for long, anyway. And yes, a man was murdered at the cafe we’re at. I can make a good guess at the poison used to do it, and the most likely suspect, but as to how it was done…”

“Oh? You couldn’t figure it out?” Conan suppressed a snicker at that - maybe he’d take a page from Hattori’s book and hold this over Haibara instead. (And then, as the comparatively less medicine-addled part of his mind pointed out, she’d go on personal mission to make his life hell. So not worth it, but he couldn’t deny that the idea was tempting.)

Haibara sounded like she knew what he’d been thinking, anyway. “That’s why I’m the scientist, and you’re the detective. Or, as I like to put it, the brains and the brawn. The second one’s you, by the way.”

“I’ll show you who’s the brawn, just you wait,” he grumbled, before forcibly pulling his mind back on track. “So, about the murder?”

“We’re at a cafe, downtown Ekoda.” She paused. “There should be pen and paper on the coffee table, by the way, assuming the professor hasn’t forgotten to put it back there again like I keep telling him to.”

“I don’t need to - ” write stuff down, Conan had been going to say, but then reconsidered the dull yet insistent pounding in his head and sighed. Coffee table, coffee table - ah, there. He put the handphone on speaker at maximum volume and set it down on the couch.

“Speaking of coffee,” came Haibara’s voice, sounding weirdly tinny over the speaker (not that he was actually going to risk saying that to her), “we should come here some other time when you’re feeling better. The cafe au lait is excellent, even for those of us who prefer caffeine of the non-paint stripping variety.”

“Ha ha,” Conan said dryly, as he stood up and walked unsteadily over, picking up the spiral-bound notepad and the pen that sat atop it before making his way back to the couch. “And that’s unfair, by the way. How come you can order actual coffee without adults trying to give you coffee milk instead?”

“Maturity, Edogawa-kun,” she answered primly. “Though I’ll admit that you’re better at the whole ‘cordoning off the scene and suspects’ part.”

“Practice, Haibara. And you were being too polite, probably,” he replied absently, flipping quickly through the notepad (mostly Agasa-hakase’s scribbles and invention drawings, he noted, though there were a few pages filled with chemical formulae in Haibara’s neat handwriting) until he found an empty page. “Okay, go ahead.”

“Victim is a man, mid-thirties,” she listed off quickly, her voice falling into businesslike brisk tones. “Death occurred at 3:38pm, approximately fifteen minutes after he entered the shop. He showed signs of ricin poisoning while having his tea, and the speed of symptoms onset suggest a reasonably large dosage - ”

later:

“Ai-chan was super cool!” Ayumi gushed excitedly. (Though at a slightly lower volume than usual, Conan thought thankfully, because the professor had apparently warned the kids about his headache when they’d dropped by for dinner.) “Right, Mitsuhiko-kun?”

“Yeah!” agreed the other boy, nodding enthusiastically. “Haibara-san even did the whole accusing-the-suspect routine, I think even the police officers were impressed.”

“Really.” Conan raised an eyebrow, looking to where the usually silent girl was being - well, even more conspicuously silent than usual. “It’s kind of hard to imagine, I’d say…”

Haibara turned away with a huff, though he would’ve bet his limited edition Holmes novels that there’d been a slight blush on her face. “Stop talking and finish your soup, Edogawa-kun, or you’re never going to get better at this rate.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Haibara-san,” Okiya answered instead, having apparently chosen this moment to walk out of the kitchen, where he’d been putting away the extra portions of chicken soup. “It sounded like you made an excellent detective back there, maybe you could consider doing Conan-kun’s deduction shows while he’s recovering?”

Haibara glared.

Okiya was, predictably enough, unperturbed as he headed towards the front door. “Just a suggestion, Haibara-san. I’ll be on my way then. Hope you feel better soon, Conan-kun!”

“Thanks, Subaru-san!” Conan called out as they watched him leave, Haibara still glaring daggers at his back.

(It was a good thing that looks couldn’t actually kill, Conan thought, otherwise Jodie-sensei and the others would’ve probably been quite upset by that.)

mostly written a while ago – and partially inspired by the "detective and scientist" prompt from last year's CoAi / ShinShi week (yes, that long ago, it’s been a long year ok), if memory serves. can't remember if I was going anywhere in particular with this, but was tidying up my WIPs and figured I'd post it anyway?

also I literally could not resist putting in that last part okay forgive me Ai-chan

#dcmk #detective conan #edogawa conan #haibara ai #agasa hiroshi #and surprise cameo from you know who #hint: not voldemort #...i'm sorry i think i've a bit too much green tea here #but anyway #the futile attempt to clear my wip folder continues #fanfiction #mine #(i continue to be terrible at figuring out titles @swingingrobin save me)

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