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pumpkinupsidedowncake · 1 year

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Live(ish)blogging my reaction to The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost, for posterity, part two: homoerotic landscaping, paul bunyan slashfic, and other tales

This section of the book contains Frost’s “seminarrative, semiphilosophical poems”. Utermeyer’s commentary apparently extends throughout the book, which is nice for context even if his worship of Frost gets on my nerves.

I don’t know if I’ll have something to say on each poem or not, but I’ll label each thing I’m talking about by the name of the poem.

“The Tuft of Flowers”

The pre-poem commentary description thing also describes the plot of mob psycho. The poem itself is sort of plain, but its story is memorable and sweet. It’s also much more homoerotic than I was expecting. Like obviously it’s just a soul-strong bond borne out of a deep shared love for nature, not inherently romantic or sexual. But like, all you’d have to do to make it explicitly gay is add one last couplet where they make out. Rhyme kiss with bliss, add some descriptions of nature to the mix, and you’re done. It would work!

“Blueberries”

Boring boring neighborhood gossip dr seuss ass meter oh shiiit neighborhood drama I’m now invested in hell yeah steal those blueberries Troll Reminiscence and that’s the end of the poem.

Very conversational. Would make for a great improv prompt.

“Home Burial”

A really interesting dichotomy between views of death. The fact that the husband is trying to force the wife to move on is probably speaking to how eventually coming to his nonchalant view of death is expected of those that grieve, but also fuck that guy for real. It’s cool to grieve in different ways, but he literally went down the stairs after he promised his wife he wouldn’t. He’s an asshole. The fact that their relationship is symbolic of death-mourning-whatever-tf doesn’t negate how much she deserves a divorce.

An interesting poem I wouldn’t hate writing an essay on.

“The Witch of Coös”

Wait so is the skeleton her husband? Huh? What? Is there a twist ending or am I just confused

“Paul’s Wife”

Hey Pauuul, Paul Bunyan (Paul Bunyan)! He’s 63 axe handles high with his feet on the ground and his head in the sky—

Is this gonna be like the nyan cat video where he gets a girlfriend? Aand that’s a slur. Thanks robert :/

If his wife is a tree is this gonna be like what happened with the entwives in lord of the rings? Also why is Murphy hiding in a shed and watching Paul while he’s near a body of water. Explain yourself, Murphy. You look like a skeezy anime protagonist during a hot springs episode. Get some fucking help, man.

Turns out the reason nobody knows shit about Paul Bunyan’s wife is that he’s overly possessive of her. Cool cool cool. Did I just read paul bunyan slashfic? Is that what this was? Problematic yandere paul bunyan, fluff, getting together, outside perspective, 1k. By robert lee frost.

There are more poems in this section but I need to go sit outside with my head in my hands and emotionally process the paul bunyan poem. I was expecting a tragedy and what I received was. Uh. Actually what was that, in sane normal human terms? I can’t describe it as anything other than paul bunyan slashfic. It was probably technically sweet? Like paul’s wife might be into being a cryptid, I don’t know her. Everything’s filtered through Murphy and his assumptions.

#things i have said #tumblr user reacts to classic poetry #(incorrectly)

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idiot-extraordinaire · 4 years

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Date Night, Interrupted

Summary: Brittany and Santana just want a quiet date night at home. Their evenings has other plans.

Part of the Pancakes and Mr Snuggles 'verse.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26035702 https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13677597/1/Date-Night-Interrupted

There are certain things that are just facts of life.

Fact. The earth revolves around the sun.

Fact. A euler brick is a cuboid.

Fact. Friday night is date night.

Both kids are asleep by 8:30 pm. The TV is playing as two glasses of wine sit on the coffee table as “The Proposal” plays on their TV. Brittany’s head rests on Santana’s lap as Sandra Bullock huffs and gets down on one knee in the middle of the street to propose to Ryan Reynolds. Santana rubs circles in Brittany’s back and the blonde hums contentedly.

The blonde pushes her herself up, lifting her head off of Santana’s lap. Santana’s wearing her glasses and Brittany thinks she looks that special combination of super adorable and sexy as hell.

“What?” Santana asks, noticing a glint in her wife’s eye.

“Do you wanna make out?”

She asks it as casually as one would ask someone if they wanted pizza for dinner.

Santana chuckles. “Totally.”

Santana removes her glasses and places them on the coffee table to avoid them getting crushed and pulls Brittany down for a kiss. Brittany’s far too eager to return it and her hands move down south to cop a feel of Santana’s ass through her shorts as the brunette grasps the back of Brittany’s neck to deepen the kiss.

Sometimes it feels like they’re still a couple of horny teenagers.

They’re like that for a while. They remain on the couch, trading kisses as hands and lips roam slowly, like they have all the time in the world.

A phone rings.

Santana whines against the crook of Brittany’s neck in annoyance.

“Is that yours or mine?”

Brittany cranes her neck over to look at the coffee table.

“Mine,” she reaches for the device to see who is interrupting her sweet sweet lady kisses. “It’s Quinn.”

“Call her back, tomorrow.”

Brittany hits the decline button, tosses her phone back on to the table. It made a sound that she’d be more concerned with if she didn’t have more pressing matters to attend to at the moment.

Speaking of which, Santana’s lips are currently pressed against her neck. Brittany’s fingers graze against her bare hipbone, causing Santana to gasp when she hears another ring.

The pair look over and it’s Santana’s phone this time. Brittany leans over again and retrieves the phone.

“It’s Quinn, again.”

Santana huffs in frustration.

“You should pick it up. It might be urgent if she called us both.”

Santana takes the phone from Brittany and accepts the call, as Brittany starts manoeuvring off her wife and back onto the couch.

“What do you want, Fabray?”

“Good evening to you too, Santana,” she hears Quinn greet on the other line.

“Why are you bothering me and Britts on date night?” she cuts straight to the point.

“Look, sorry if I’m interrupting your sexual escapades-’

“You are.”

“But I’ve turned the house upside down trying to find Lucas’ dinosaur. He can’t sleep without it.”

“And?”

“I can’t find it anywhere, but I think he brought it to your place when the kids had their playdate today. Can you check if he left it there? It’s a little red t-rex.”

Santana sighed and relented. She empathized with Quinn and she did love Lucas. She also knew Mike was out of town on business till tomorrow, so the little boy probably really did need his dinosaur.

“I’ll check. If it’s here, one of us will come by and drop it off.”

“Thanks, S. Call me if you find it.”

Santana ended the call and looked back up at Brittany.

“How is it that we’ve been out of high school forever and Quinn is still cock-blocking me?”

------------------

The kids had been playing in Sophia’s room earlier in the day, so Santana tip-toes in, making sure not to wake her daughter and trying not to stub her toe on anything.

The star-shaped night light gave her enough vision to look for the lost dinosaur. Most of the toys were in a little toy chest next to the six and a half foot tall, Mr Snuggles. Santana didn’t have to rummage far to find the little red dinosaur, mixed in amongst the other playthings.

Lucas must have left it there during their playdate this afternoon.

Having finished her mission, Santana proceeded to head back out, before noticing Snoopy on the floor next to the bed. She picked up the lost white dog and carefully tucked it in next to Sophia, who was hugging her unicorn, her dolphin also within arms reach.

“Sleep tight, baby girl,” she whispered, placing a light kiss on the little girl’s head.

-------------------------

Santana texted Quinn a quick update, advising her friend that she’d found the lost dinosaur and Brittany was headed over to drop it off now.

“Tell her this totally makes us even for the lost binky incident,” Santana said.

Brittany chuckled as she patted down her pockets to make sure she had the car keys, when Santana tossed her a sweatshirt.

“It’s chilly outside.”

Brittany unwrapped the balled up item of clothing to find it was Santana’s NYU sweatshirt. Really, it was only fair at this point, given that Santana had stolen her MIT sweatshirt back when they were on tour with Mercedes and basically claimed it as hers ever since.

“I won’t be long.”

Santana gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll be waiting.”

------------------------

Santana takes the time Brittany’s gone to wash up the glasses and tidy the living room. There’s not much, so she finds herself back in front of the TV when she hears footsteps.

“Mama.”

She finds her son, rubbing his eyes, having wandered out into the living room in his PJs.

“Ollie, baby, it’s past your bedtime,” she approaches him and crouches down to meet him at eye-level. “Are you ok?”

“I woke up,” he says. “Can’t go back to sleep.”

“Aww, sweetheart,” she stands up and gestures back to the hallway. “Come on, I’ll tuck you back in.”

The two of them return to his bedroom, the moon-shaped night light still on over the side of his bed. Santana lifts the covers and helps him get back into bed, where he hugs the little yellow duck he’s had since he was a baby. It takes her a moment, she can barely believe he’s six years old already.

“Comfy?” she asks, as she finishes tucking him in, fluffing the pillow and placing a kiss on his forehead.

He nods. “Mama?”

“Yes, Ollie?”

“Can you read me a story?”

“Sure,” she smiles. “Which one do you want?”

He thinks for a moment. “Cat in the Hat.”

Santana moves over to his bookshelf. It doesn’t take her long to find the book in question, sitting amongst his little collection of Dr Seuss books. They’re his favorite, he likes the rhyming. She then makes herself comfortable on the bed, with only the nightlight and the light coming in from the hallway to let her see. Ollie rolls onto his side, so he can face his mother while she reads to him.

Santana turns the first page.

“The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house all that cold, cold wet day. I sat there with Sally. We sat there, we two. And I said, ‘how I wish we had something to do!’”

------------------------

Quinn and Mike only lived a fifteen minute drive away, so Brittany managed to get there with no problems (ok she may have grazed the neighbour’s mailbox, but that was nothing).

She rang the doorbell to be greeted by a slightly frazzled looking Quinn.

“Looking for someone?” she asked, holding up the dinosaur.

“Oh thank God, I could kiss you,” Quinn said, letting out a huge sigh of relief, taking the toy from her.

“No thanks, Santana’s waiting for me to get home.”

Quinn rolled her eyes. “Well, thanks anyway. He couldn’t sleep without it.”

Brittany looks down, to find a small boy with dark hair and hazel-green eyes materialize next to Quinn.

"Hey, buddy," she grins at him.

“Look who Aunt Brittany found,” Quinn turns to him, holding out the little red dinosaur.

“Rexy!” he grins and hugs the dinosaur tight. He then turns to the woman standing outside the doorway, still clutching his dinosaur, tightly. “Thank you, Aunt Britt.”

Brittany can’t help smile - even if it did interrupt her date night - and affectionately ruffles his hair. “You’re welcome, Lucas. Make sure you don’t forget Rexy next time, okay? Mr Snuggles might decide he wants to adopt him.”

Lucas giggles a little and nods. “Promise.”

“Alright, sweetie, we need to get you back in bed,” Quinn turns to her son. “Say good night, I’ll be in to tuck you in in a minute.”

“Good night, Aunt Britt.”

“Good night, Lucas,” she says, before he wanders off to bed.

“Thanks for bringing it back,” Quinn says standing back up. “ He cried earlier when we couldn’t find Rexy. I think he’s really been missing Mike the last few days.”

“I guess he’s not the only one,” she remarked at her friend’s tone.

Quinn sighed. “Yeah, you could say so.”

“He’ll be home tomorrow, Q. Besides, we try to alternate so the next trip is going to be me.”

“Does that mean I should expect frantic calls from Santana to interrupt my evenings, then?”

Brittany chuckles. “Don’t be surprised. Anyway, she told me to tell you that this officially makes us even for the lost binky incident.”

“Fine, we’ll call it even,” Quinn rolls her eyes, with a laugh. “I’d ask if you wanted to come sit for a while, but I know who’s waiting for you at home.”

“Good call,” Brittany winks, heading back to her car.

------------------------

When Brittany got home, she expected to find Santana waiting for her in bed or perhaps in the living room with another glass of wine.

Instead, she finds both rooms empty, but is guided when she sees the door to Ollie’s room is ajar and peaks in to have a look.

Santana’s sleeping in Ollie’s bed. She’s still in a semi-seated position, with her back against the headboard, still wearing her glasses, Cat in the Hat half open on her lap, but her eyes are closed. One of her arms is wrapped around Ollie, who is fast asleep, clutching his ducky.

The sight of it makes Brittany’s heart melt. It reminds her of the times she’d come home and find Santana asleep with a baby resting on her chest when their kids were infants.

She tiptoes into the room and gently wakes Santana with a kiss on the cheek and a gentle shake.

“Santana, babe,” she whispers.

“Hmmm?” Santana stirs, blinking the sleep out of her eyes and taking in her surroundings and her wife. “You’re back.”

“I am.”

“I must’ve dozed off reading to him.”

“You’re adorable.”

“Adorable wasn’t really what I was going for on date night.”

Brittany wiggles her eyebrows. “Well, you wanna continue what you were going for? Night’s still young.”

Santana grins as she carefully gets out of bed, making sure Ollie doesn’t wake up and placing the book on top of his shelf. She then takes Brittany’s hand as they make their way to their own bedroom.

“Definitely.”

------------------------

Santana’s running her hand under Brittany’s shirt, her fingers grazing past her ribcage, as Brittany leaves kisses on the underside of Santana’s jawline.

“Mmmm, baby,” Brittany lets out a hushed moan, when they both hear a crashing sound from outside and both look up in alarm.

When they hear an echoey meow, Santana is significantly less alarmed and more annoyed, when Brittany sits up and the brunette is forced to move off her wife so that she can get out of bed to investigate.

Santana flops back onto the bed, clearly displeased and stares at the ceiling.

“I hate that cat.”

------------------------

Brittany examines her surroundings and enters the kitchen to find a certain fat cat’s large behind poking out from the kitchen trash can and helps lift him out.

“There’s no tuna in there Tubbs, you should be careful,” she tells the cat, examining him to make sure he’s not been hurt. “You can’t just go sticking your nose into everything. It's dangerous. Besides, it’s date night. Your moms need their lady kisses.”

Tubbs, unharmed, pays little attention to this and waddles off, swishing his tail, while Brittany puts the few pieces of trash that came out during Tubbs’ exploration back in the bin. As she washes her hands in the kitchen sink, she hears a voice sniff.

“Mommy?”

Brittany looks down and finds her three year old daughter, clutching her unicorn and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Soph, what’s wrong, sweetie?” Brittany asks, quickly scooping up the little girl into her arms.

“I had a bad dream,” she whispers into her mom’s ear, not letting go of the unicorn as she wraps her arms around her mother’s neck.

“Oh, sweetie,” Brittany pulls her closer and rubs her back. “It’s ok.”

“Can I sleep with you?”

“Of course, baby girl,” she says, wiping a few tears tracks on her daughter’s face, with her thumb.

Brittany gives Sophia a cup of water to drink before they go to bed. The little girl giggles a little because it’s from her favorite cup, the one with a unicorn holding a soccer ball.

“Someone had a bad dream,” Brittany informs Santana, Sophia still in her arms as they enter through the doorway to the master bedroom.

“Oh no,” Santana pulls back to covers. “Come ‘ere, Princess,” she reaches out her arms as Brittany puts their daughter down on their bed and Sophia scrambles up into the bed to give her mama a hug.

“Do you remember what it was about?” Santana asks, as Brittany climbs back onto her side of the bed.

“No,” Sophia shakes her head and sniffs. “But it was scary.”

“It’s ok, baby girl. You’re safe here,” Brittany kisses Sophia’s cheek, as Santana pulls up the covers so that she’s nestled between her moms.

“All good?”

Sophia nods.

“Try to get some sleep," Santana rubs her back. " Mommy and I are right here.”

They both watch over Sophia as the little girl closes her eyes and seems to have little trouble falling back asleep.

Santana and Brittany share small smiles, though both knowing that date night is definitely over.

“Mike and Quinn are totally babysitting next Friday,” Brittany whispers.

#brittana #brittana fanfic #santana lopez #brittany pierce

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letstalksymphogear · 5 years

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Symphogear, Ep. 6 (Cont.)

Hibiki, having seen a horror upon horrors, immediately asks Tsubasa if she’s okay. Tsubasa points out she’s a hospital patient, why would you ask this question, you insensitive prick. Hibiki points to the following scene:

Now, you may be asking yourself. “How does a formerly comatose person who is now bedridden on an IV drip manage to do this much damage?” Simply put, Tsubasa has a very chaotic aura. She doesn’t even have to take stuff out of her room; the places she goes to just naturally wind up like this. It’s a metaphor for how much of an absolute mess this person is simply by existing.

“l-look i just- its hard to organize things and- im more of a visual person and-”

“BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?”

Hibiki unwittingly gets her revenge on Tsubasa. She doesn’t realize it, but her lecturing Tsubasa on what an absolute mess every facet of her life is could possibly be heralded as her lowest point in the entire series.

No, wait. Thinking about it now, this is her second lowest. We won’t see her lowest until GX comes along.

“hibiki, every single bone in my body is broken, you dont have to break my pride too”

Hibiki, being an absolute darling, actually picks up Tsubasa’s mess. This is more than she can say about her own messes.

“haha, miku usually does this for me! wait- wait a minute.”

“i dont get it. i tried to kill you. i tormented and ignored you. i refused to help you for months. i failed to train you on any facet of combat as your senior. i nearly let you get kidnapped and, failing that, nearly killed myself while making you watch, which ALSO didnt help you not get kidnapped aside from scaring the shit out of that weird lady. why are you... helping me?”

“because either we’re going to be very good friends or im going to toss you out the window personally!”

“oh god, that aggression screams kanade. i cant not like her.”

Absolutely annihilated. Just kick her while she’s down in her Taco Bell spiral of humiliation and self-discovery, Hibiki.

“it’s okay, tsubasa! you may be a terminal dumbass, but im sure if we all work together, we can share our braincells and become collectively smarter, for each other!”

“interesting theory. how many ya got?”

“ZERO!”

They trade the kind of banter two people with 0 brain cells would have and then Tsubasa points out Hibiki is doing a great job in her place.

“hey hey HEY HOLD THE PHONE IVE LEARNED MY LESSON IM NOT TRYING TO REPLACE YOU OKAY IM NOT YOU, IM JUST HIBIKI, DOING HER JOB, ALRIGHT”

Meanwhile, in the library, Miku is looking at books, as she does what she says she’s gonna do, unlike a certain other person cavorting with cute idols.

“The Gay Way: How to Get Your Same Sex Relationship Back On Track, by Dr. Lesbe Honest. wow, this one is right up my alley.”

Okay, I’m gonna be honest with you. I literally forgot they show you the title in this. Imagine my face when I made up that title on the spot only to be hit with this little number. Holy shit, Symphogear. There’s this thing called subtlety. I’m begging you. We get it.

OH, AND IT GETS BETTER, BECAUSE

THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK IS THE WRITER OF THE SHOW

IT’S LITERALLY GOT HIS NAME ON IT

THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF WRITING A STORY AND THEN INSERTING A BOOK CALLED “LEARN THE PLOT” WRITTEN BY YOU, IN UNIVERSE

KANEKO STOP THIS BALONEY, PLEASE

AND LIKE FUCKING CLOCKWORK SHE JUST- SHE TURNS HER HEAD AWAY FROM THE BOOK TITLED “THIS IS THE PLOT MOTIF” BY “AUTHOR” AND THEN FUCKING

SHE CONVENIENTLY LOOKS OVER TO THE DISTANCE

AND SHE SEES HIBIKI WITH THE HOT IDOL MIKU WAS INTO, THAT THEY WERE BOTH A FAN ON, AND SHE’S JUST CHILLING THERE AND MIKU WAS TOLD HIBIKI’S ON SERIOUS BUSINESS

AND THE HOSPITAL QUARTERS ARE SOMEHOW CONVENIENTLY CONNECTED TO THE FUCKING LIBRARY ON FULL DISPLAY BECAUSE GOD KNOWS EVERYONE IN A LIBRARY HAS TO WATCH SICK PEOPLE DIE IN REAL TIME

AND NOW MIKU IS THINKING “OH MY FUCKING GOD IM BEING CHEATED ON” AND HER FEELINGS ARE HURT FOR THIS TOTALLY CONTRIVED FUCKING COINCIDENCE

AND SHE’S ALL “BOO HOO HOO I’VE BEEN NTR’D! THIS WAS A CUCKING PLOT THIS WHOLE TIME! WOE IS ME!” FUCK YOU. THIS IS THE WORST. THIS IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE WHY WOULD YOU- WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED TO SET THIS UP? THERE’S SO MANY BETTER WAYS TO DO THIS!

AND SHE’S JUST STARING BACK AT THE BOOK WRITTEN BY THE SAME ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THIS ENTIRE DAMN SCENARIO IN THE FIRST PLACE, AN EVIL GOD MOCKING HIS SUBJECTS IN THE FACE OF SCRUTINY FOR DRAMA WITH THE MOST CLICHE LOVE NOTES IN A GODDAMNED SOAP OPERA

AND HIBIKI IS NONE

THE

FUCKING

WISER

SYMPHOGEAR SURE IS GREAT, HUH? I SURE DO LOVE SYMPHOGEAR WITH ALLLLLL MY HEART. WHAT A WELL WRITTEN MASTERPIECE! FUCKING BELONGS IN THE FUCKING MOMA!!!!!

Okay. Okay. Let’s get that out of our system. The worst is over. This is the, uh, crescendo of the bad side plot as it inevitably sets itself on the road to resolution. I’m not going to have an aneurysm. My brain is not going to split itself in half. We’re good. I swear, we’re good.

Tsubasa, meanwhile, wants to understand why Hibiki fights, wrestling with the Da Vinci code that is her own emotions. She points out the fight against the Noise isn’t a game, and it ain’t no comic book bullshit either. It’s real, it’s out there, and it’s not pretty yet easily marketable as cute mascots. And what does our protagonist say? No making it up, she literally says:

“i dunno”

Not a damn brain cell in her body, but props for keeping it real. I’d likely say the same thing.

This is the face of someone currently sucking air through their teeth at the raw frustration that someone would be dumb enough to risk their life for the sake of only helping others.

“listen. im gonna keep it real here. i suck at literally everything. math. social studies. writing. helping people is all i have, because its not a competition. you just... you do it. you dont get better at helping people, you just help. like, thats it. i dunno what else to tell you.”

Then Hibiki points out that she feels it all started with Kanade saving her, and the speech implies its a ‘pay it forward’ sort of affair. She was saved, and so she should save others. Unfortunately, it comes off more as a guilt complex. “I lived, and I feel bad about that, so I gotta save everyone else” kind of stuff.

“its my coping mechanism for my countless traumas!”

“i get it now. you’re just as much of a mess as i am. you just dont show it as much. that kinda thinking’s gonna get you killed.”

Tsubasa then correctly points out that it is a kind of survivor’s guilt, where she wants to be released from the pain of old wounds, completely unaware of the irony of her statement.

“yeah. i get ya. we’re both wrecks. but... we can be wrecks working together.”

This would be the part where she says I’M SORRY but apparently we just don’t fucking do apologies in Symphogear, huh? Too good for ‘em, eh?! God.

Then they go outside and talk more about stuff and Durandal. The summation:

“do you have the capacity to live a life forever kicking ass?”

“yeah”

Hibiki, coming to terms with how she wants to deal with shit, manages to sharpen (haw) her resolve as to who she is and how she uses her abilities.

Meanwhile...

youtube

“i cant believe hibiki is having an affair with an attractive idol popstar. especially my favorite one from their old band. not only is she cheating on me, but she’s cheating on me from one of the five people on my lists id immediately get with if i had the chance. it feels like a double betrayal. a real life one, and a fantasy one... why do i find this weirdly hot...?”

“HEY NEWCOMER WELCOME TO THE CUCK AND BUCK WHERE WE SELL FRESHLY FRIED CUCKS FOR ONE BUCK, REAL EASY, REAL CHEAP, GOOD OL’ FASHIONED JAPANESE SOULFOOD”

“ive come to take my throne. i’ll take the ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest” and have the three eggs over easy with the ‘easy sleazy pancakes’”

“make it an extra lonely helping. this is gonna be a long afternoon.”

“ahhh. a freshly cucked newcomer coming to the cuck and buck to duck amongst their bad luck run amok, huh?”

“listen dont sass me about my busy girlfriend with your dr. seuss antics just gimmie the food and lets get this over with”

“no problem! sorry, they just come easy. it’s hard to buck at the cuck and buck when rhymes you huck make you wanna fu-”

“FOOD. NOW.”

Miku then ponders about how her feelings may have spiraled from a process of over thinking, or possibly hunger. Maybe both. Maybe Hibiki isn’t cheating on her. Maybe the reasons are more complicated than she knows. She briefly contemplates communication; a futile gesture when it is Hibiki safeguarding a secret she is forced to keep for incredibly stupid reasons.

“thanks for the food, miss. it really helped sort my feelings out.”

“no probs, kid. here at the cuck and buck, the only thing we cuck here is... our hearts.”

Meanwhile, Hibiki is still hanging with Tsubasa. Hey, if you’re gonna hang out with a critically acclaimed popstar, might as well squeeze every minute out of it, right?

“so... taco bell, huh? im surprised you actually like taco bell now. maybe you just like fast food styled psuedo-mexican restraunts? have you tried chipotle?”

“i... maybe you’re right, actually. i’ve grown to love taco bell, but... maybe i should expand my horizons. kanade did say... singing makes you hungry. maybe thats what she meant. i should take to new life experiences...”

“yeah! i can take you to all the good fast food places i know!”

“dont you have a girlfriend?”

“she can join us! she’s a big fan of you after all!”

“hey- hey wait! m- more friends? more... more friends... more friends.....”

“more friends...”

Meanwhile, a crisis develops.

Chris, having heard the f-word (friendship), is heading immediately to do the exact opposite of this.

She’s taken some pointers from Tsubasa, t-posing to assert dominance.

“how the fuck is she even flying”

“i cant wait to tell hibiki how much i love and appreciate her despite the weird NTR aura surrounding this whole situation”

“yeah, that’s right! i’m meeting the Gremlin in the park for an asskicking, don’t worry!”

“oh, speak of the devil! hibiki! i love and appreciate you despite the weird ntr auras!”

“miku- wait. oh no. i saw this happen in sam reimi’s spiderman 3. im fucked.”

“YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY, PIDGEON BANGS”

I know I’ve joked about homewrecking, but this is ridiculous.

Chris realizes there’s someone else around she may have potentially hurt. This is surprising, given murder is not something she has shyed away from, but she’s slowly climbing that ladder of morality, so cut her some slack for taking it one rung at a time.

“im losing my girl. losing my grip. now im about to lose my life. this NTR business truly is the worst.”

Chris has accidentally employed the Dio Brando style of disposing of people, which consists of throwing a vehicle and smashing them until dead.

“you’ve taken one step too close to my heartstrings, Gremlin, and for that you’re about to understand the full definition of an ass kicking.”

Hibiki fucking punches the car. Everything is forgiven in this episode for now.

“i... hibiki... are you... a street fighter character? holy shit. oh my god. hibiki oh my god you’re a street fighter character. thats been the true problem here. you’re a street fighter character now. oh my god. cheating? how could i have thought cheating was involved? you were literally just becoming a straight up superhero! oh my god. the abs! the washboard abs! the signs were all around me! the only thing you went to do behind my back was kick ass!”

“i’m sorry. i need to go kick ass now.”

The good news is all that tension just got evaporated. Miku sorta gets the truth now: her girlfriend hasn’t been cheating on her, she’s just been trying to save the local tri-county area from the grips of inter-dimensional alien eldritch entities controlled by a Gremlin and her Mistress. It’s a lot to take in, though.

These two are about to fight head to head. Last time, Hibiki was but the pupil. Now, she is the Master.

“can’t touch me, goldie locks. lemme do you a favor and CRACK THAT WHIP!”

“oh my god hibiki’s gonna fight that weird looking person”

“naruto running deeper into the woods isn’t gonna stop me from beating your ass senseless, fists for brains”

“thats because i wanna talk, asshole”

“wait. wait, what? you... you want to talk? to me?”

Hibiki proceeds to aggressively describe herself to her. Name, identity, blood type, age, the works. This is because she’s trying to befriend her, because Hibiki feels fighting people is bad, and that talking is more useful than fighting. This is a recipe for suicide, normally, but in this instance...

“what in the goddamn hell... i... um... nice.. to meet you...?”

Hibiki deploys a counter-T-Pose to show kinship, feeling that they don’t have to fight like this since they’re not Noise.

“talk may be cheap but it’ll make kicking your ass all the more easier, nerd”

Chris learns this, in fact, does not make the ass kicking all the more easier. Hibiki’s fresh new moves manage to dodge whip after whip of Chris’s attacks, and it’s really starting to annoy her a lot.

“pain in the ass. so you learned how to fight, huh? fine. you’ll tire out eventually.”

“let’s just talk, seriously! or maybe we can bond over board games-”

“i FUCKING hate board games. the fuck are you, a grandma? just fight already! people cant understand each other anyway!”

“JUST DIE ALREADY!”

“i was told to kidnap you. but im exerting a loophole today; no one told me to do it alive”

“the only kidnapping going down is me, sleeping in on a thursday afternoon forgetting class exists, you neon porcupine. so come at me. can’t kick me ass if you dont come any closer, right?”

“WITH PLEASURE!”

“ive watched the entirety of dragonball z, i know exactly how this fight’s gonna go down”

“finally. looks like i got y- hey, wait, what?”

“ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY JANKING MY LEG? THIS BITCH IS LITERALLY GOKU? PULLING KAMEHAMEHAS AND SHIT? WHY? god. its me. yukine chris. why do you hate me. why do you drag me through all this shit only to be hit in the head with some real anime baloney. why. please. have some mercy.”

“i dont know what a goku is but sure, yeah, why not”

“im going to kill her. oh my god. she doesnt even know who goku is.”

“get that tentacle shit away from me. im not fucking around anymore. we’re going to have a heart to heart whether you like it or not!”

“oh shit she found my weakness. really close melee combat.”

“MADE A FRIENDSHIP GIFT FOR YA. IT’S A FRESHLY MADE KNUCKLE SANDWICH, STRAIGHT FROM THE DELI”

“OH GOD, PLEASE, NOT MY FACE”

“REQUEST ACCEPTED, PAL”

Hibiki punched her so hard that she physically destroyed the entire armor Chris was wearing in a single blow.

“she... she doesnt punch ME like that... i mean, probably because she loves me, but..”

“did... did she just kill that person...? hibiki...? you, uh... you alright...?”

#symphogear #recap #comedy #anime #a lot of cuck was said here

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kingofthewilderwest · 6 years

Text

Haddock’s 2003 FMA Liveblog Part 4

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

I went to bed at a nice, normal time. And then 1:30 came around, my brain screamed “SURPRISE TIME TO WAKE UP” and uhhhhh it’s now 3 AM and I need to occupy myself for a little bit of time before I’m sleepy enough to return to the realm of happy unconsciousness.

Episodes 41-42

Ep. 41 Holy Mother

The central theme of this anime: The military sucks.

Yeah. Like that’s actually going to happen. “Don’t fight.” We know how shit like this actually goes down.

Bradley: Kills Martel inside Reverse Pinocchio. Blood splurts. Cut to: Extremely happy, energetic anime opening song with kids playing.

It would be a lot easier on everyone if Mustang knew something of what was going on, ya’ll. I don’t care if Hughes was like “You can reach the top while I investigate this privately.” At this point this is a hazard. A hazard.

There’s caution to keep people safe. There’s caution to keep yourself safe. There’s caution if you’re unsure of information. There’s caution if you’re investigating dangerous information. There’s caution if you’re uncertain you can trust someone. And on and on and on. But then there’s just caution for not the most well-written reason and seriously I keep feeling like this is sort of the latter, a semi-contrived reason for Mustang to be kept in the dark this entire anime.

Indie that’s rude.

Okay so racial relations in FMA 2003 versus FMA 2009. This could be like, a dissertation topic. I’ve been talking a lot about the difference with friends ever since I saw one semi-disrespectful post of FMAB talking about how it handles racial tensions, essentially saying that we’re supposed to believe one random, old woman (Shan) that the Ishvalans know that not all Amestrians are bad... whereas here in FMA 2003 Scar calls out the military’s discrimination against the Ishvalans to Ed in conversation and we’re supposed to understand believe what his point is. I 1000% understand the post, but don’t agree with that post.... but if we went into all the reasons why I don’t agree with its oversimplification of racial representation and voice in the shows, it really would be a dissertation right here and right now. Anyway. Now, while it is true that FMA 2003 shows a lot more of the perspective of the Ishvalans and gives a lot more straightforward of a minority voice, which is damn NICE, while FMAB focuses about the Ishvalan War more from the Amestrian side... FMAB is farrrrrr from without minority voice and complexity and meaningfulness and respect, too. FMAB does a very heavy job of calling out the Amestrians for what they did in the Ishvalan War as wrong and baseless, too - even if upper command (and Envy) started it, Riza points out that she and her fellow Amestrians carried out the bloodshed with their own hands. Watching the fourth OVA gives a lot of voice to people like Heathcliffe and wow. FMAB gives a lot of purpose to Scar’s motivations, too, from the start of wanting to kill State Alchemists out of well-understood revenge... to pulling him into a focus whereby he wants to rebuild Amestris’ Ishvalan population as he can. But where I think the BEST way to talk about the difference between the 2003 and 2009 racial messages in these shows isn’t that the minority voice is or isn’t given respect and time (because really, really, both *do* - let’s talk manga Miles, and Scar, and Scar’s mentor, and...). But what 2003 shows the Ishvalans saying is, “The military is shit. They destroyed us. We have the right to be angry. You can argue we have the right to fight back.” And while there’s a whole, whole, whole, whole, WHOLE lot of truth to 2003 and how things happen irl... there’s something really powerful about 2009. 2009 says, “The military is shit. They destroyed us. We have the right to be angry. But that DOESN’T mean we have the right fight back.” And that wraps into one of Arakawa’s biggest, most widespread message throughout all of her manga, from start to end: All humans are important. All souls deserve to be treated with the utmost respect as human beings. It doesn’t matter if you’re a suit in armor. It doesn’t matter if you’re a frog chimera. It doesn’t matter what your race is. It doesn’t matter who started the bloodshed... you should be the one to end it. You are a human, human is good, and the best thing we can do is help each other. FMAB is about breaking out of the cycle of “an eye for an eye.” Now FMA 2003 is showing, through Ed’s reactions and so forth, the conflict he has with the idea of “Eye for an eye,” suggesting also it’s not a good thing. But it’s really in 2009 where the message sparkles... because Scar becomes not someone with a vengeful purpose who wants to create a pure Philosopher’s Stone from military lives. But Scar is someone who goes from someone with vengeful purpose for what the military has done to him... to trying to be the better person, the HERO, who fights back and gives back when no one else would before. And fuck man. Scar and Scar’s brother are the damndest heroes in FMAB. There’s so much to be said about the pros and cons of racial representation in each show, 2003 versus 2009, but both really try to speak to important messages of minority discrimination, genocide, and the horribleness of what it is. NEITHER ARE BAD!!! XD But damn if 2009′s message of “Revenge is not justified. We will treat all humans as humans” is fucking wicked good. Like. Enormous applause to the Ishvalans for being the better people? They are the true heroes. They are the TRUE heroes of FMAB.

In FMAB 2009, Scar prevents an entire city (entire COUNTRY) from being used as an effective transmutation circle creating a Philosopher’s Stone. In FMA 2003, Scar is the one seeking to make an entire city into a Philosopher’s Stone. Interesting contrast. Sad not to have my hero Scar here. A complex antagonist in the 2003, who, from another framework could act as an antihero (the best antagonists imho are those whose perspectives could be written as “good guys” because they have understandable, human motivations)... but nevertheless, not a hero of the tale as in Arakawa’s final work.

Took fukkin long enough for Heart Eyes Motherfucking Horse Boi to find out. Thank you, Reverse Pinocchio, for acting with more sense than Markiplier and Virility Redux.

One beautiful moment with Al in the manga at Liore is when he pulls stuff out of his loincloth in public in front of his father, much to Hohenheim’s dismay and embarrassment. And here we have Armor stuffing his bro’s pocketwatch into his loincloth. I mean, it’s a fair place to carry things, buuuuut there is something to said it looks bad buddy. XD

I can’t judge talking military cats because we do like, have Jerso in FMAB.

Okay Bishie Boi I give you permission to kill a certain murderous State Alchemist Fucker. Go get Kimblee. Go get him. Martel hasn’t killed him yet. You. Please. Kill him. I don’t like Kimblee. Get Kimblee.

It’s so damn refreshing and applause-worthy to see full rooms of dark-skinned POC in an anime let’s be real.

Also not showing the eyes of ANYONE in the military during these scenes? Really good, chilling effect.

The name avoidance is getting really old homunculi pals.

Also love how many women are very prominent in the 2003.

GO SCAR GO. GO SCAR GO! BISHIE BOY, KICK KIMBLEE ASS!! GO SCAR GO SCAR GO SCAR GO!!!

.....that accidentally almost sounded like a Dr. Seuss book up there. Just need a little meter and rhyming and...

Dude there’s a fucking dragon on the end of that that is LEGIT.

You brought the kid back. You brought the kid messenger back. You brought the kid messenger back to Liore. KEEP THEF UCKI :ENW:EOGIN KEEP THE FUCKING KID IN SAFETY AWAY FROM LIORE IT’S A WAR ZONE YOU IDIOTS

Gotta respect how long Kimblee’s hair is in this anime.

[Camera angle constantly spinning around Kimblee and Scar while they’re talking] I get that you’re trying to make this dramatic but hell if that isn’t too much and somewhat dizzying.

Badass Al and his perfect-and-rapidly-drawn transmutation circles!

This anime had suchhhhhhhhh a slow start but finally we’re getting someplace. Not entirely well-joined together everywhere but we’re finally getting to Serious Shit and I appreciate it.

Al saying he’s hollow and not meaningless is a nice callback to when he was questioning the validity of his own memories, saying that if he weren’t human, then it wasn’t worth living. Exact opposite message here and thank. V good. This v good.

They get a lot more of Al’s intense and very real badass side down in this anime.

Sayin’ it like it is. Bruh, respect.

Yeah there’s lots and lots of good content rn.

“Can you hear it? The countdown to your death?” And this is why nobody likes you Kimblee. Fuck you.

Is this the part where we have Scar use his arm or something to change Al into a Philosopher’s Stone or whatever the hell it is that is the first stage of Al not being armor?

YES.

YES

YES YES YES MY WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED.

Are you.

Are you fucking kidding me.

Die already Kimblee you fuck

Well that’s gotta be traumatic to Ed

Dramatic shots of doom.

This ain’t gonna end well. Also we’re suspiciously close to the end of the episode with no resolution... I planned to watch ONE episode tonight but that might not be what happens eh.

Oh look the episode just ended.

Yeah fuck that we need at least just one more.

Ep. 42 His Name is Unknown

I’m v suspicious Scar ain’t gonna live through this. Hopefully also Kimblee. Kimblee needs to Be Gone (TM).

Aka “This is how the writers don’t have Al die right here and now.”

DING DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEEEEAAAAAAD!!!

Okay but Scar. Ishval’s Top Model. Bishie Boi. He’s like. Walking around so calmly with so little sign of pain. BRO YOU ARE MISSING AN ARM. And don’t you DAMN tell me “It’s but a scratch” or “It’s only a flesh wound.” Like I could Monty Python caption you right now you fucker and I shouldn’t be able to do that.

Oh hey look my liveblogging is showing my true swearing colors. Rawr. I’m a swearer. I like swears. FEAR ME AND ALL THE SWEARS.

(I usually censor myself a lot on tumblr for Things Like Swears BUT AIN’T NOT HAPPENING NOW YO).

Is.... is ANYONE going to do ANYTHING about Scar’s recently lost arm?????????? HE LOST A LOT OF BLOOD. LOTS OF BLOOD GUSHED OUT WHEN HE TRANSMUTED IT OFF. AND YET EVERYONE IS SO CASUAL ABOUT THIS. Let’s talk about Al’s survival chances. Let’s talk about how to change Al so he doesn’t go off into a bomb. Let’s talk about the Philosopher’s Stone. Let’s talk about your past history with Lust. HOW ARE YOU CONSCIOUS AND WHY AREN’T WE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR GODDAMNEDFUCKINGSHIT ARM.

At least have him pass out or something.

Nope we’re just going to stand around and stare at each other and be like “You’re not my brother’s girlfriend” and shit and not care about your lack of armness apparently.

Hey new intro. The music definitely has the same generic rocky upbeat flavor of the other intros in 2003, but I like this one the best. The intro also shows us not one but two separate shots of Roy so that’s even better. And even bestest, we just keep pulling in that photo of Horsing Around in the background again. We just keep sneaking that in. I really wish you WROTE Horsing Around better but HEY we get the PHOTO <3 <3 <3

So all that’s good.

Yesssssss finally in this anime you are having ROY MUSTANG ***DO*** SOMETHING. Finally DO something. (whispers) and yes, of course Riza is here, I love you two together

But seriously how long does it take for you to WRITE MUSTANG DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THE SHIT GOING DOWN IN THIS FUCKING STORY

(whispers) Wife

Good for you, Alex.

“There’s no such thing as a military that doesn’t have corruption or evil in it.” I love when villains have damn truthful lines like that shit.

He’s really pretty in this shot.

Okay for all you mention Roy being the Hero of Ishval in this moment between Archer and Roy, and then there was that one scene waaaay back in Flame vs Fullmetal where we had Roy get a bit of a flashback to the war, and then I guess that ONE scene where he thought about doing human transmutation...... you really haven’t taken advantage. of. this. character. AT ALL. In this anime. You’ve really left him to sit by for dozens of episodes in a row. Develop this shit. Even if you plan to develop this shit down the road, this is just another example of uneven scaffolding in your writing. I went into this anime particularly because I was curious about the interesting Roy shit you were thinking about writing, and yet I feel like you’ve given me very little to work with? I mean. He’s present. We’ve had a FEW interesting moments with him, primarily at the start. We’ve seen him do some things like suppress the Ishvalans before they rebelled, and stuff. It’s not like he’s absent and you could critique my critique. But he still feels sooooo underutilized. He really feels underutilized. Develop all that trauma shit content and his ambition being the Fuhrer and his past with Ishval instead of just touching it here and there and referencing it in scenes and then being like “La la la and now all Mustang is gonna do in this episode is look suspiciously at people but not do anything active about the shit going all around him.”

So we’re SLIGHTLY paying attention to his arm, but still having an extended conversation about Lust instead.

I mean I don’t care if the arm got cauterized and there’s just a stump there, you still lost a lot of blood and there’s shock and trauma and shit. You are hanging in there way too good bud. THAT IS AN ARM.

That looks cool. And we know exactly what those symbols are.

Oh cool another arm gone AND YOU ARE STILL CONSCIOUS.

Now, after just a little gasping in pain and sweating, I’m going to stand up and calmly explain the history of my arm. COME ON SCAR ADRENALINE ONLY GOES SO FAR *YOU* *HAVE* *NO* *ARMS*

No one would even guess this is the screencap of a man who has literally just lost both of his arms.

In 2003, he loses both of his arms. In 2009, he uses both of his arms and destroys Bradley’s.

Yes, Indie. Tell Roy about your mother homonculus. At least do it for the sake of integrally including Horsie IN THE MAIN FUCKING PLOT MORE.

HOW DID SCAR DROP KIMBLEE FROM THE TOP OF THE BUILDING HE HAS NO ARMS HOW DID YOU CARRY HIM HOW DID YOU DROP HIM.

WHY ARE YOU STILL RUNNING AROUND.

Okay seriously how many times are you going to injure this guy and still have him be “relatively” okay? Because several gunshot wounds to his shoulders didnt make him lapse into unconsciousness either? At least he seems to be in legitimate lasting pain now? Not like that’s a GOOD thing to be in pain, but at least he’s not like, running around?

You should be like delirious tho bud

Seriously are these last two episodes “How many times can we injure Scar” like wut

Take that back he’s stood up and is waltzing around again wtf

I hate how the feels you get from this scene are 1). Scar is dying, 2). Scar is doing this for his brother [sob] and not... “we’re mass killing thousands of low-ranking soldiers and turning them into a Philosopher’s Stone.” Like something about that’s just wrong. Feels, good? But....

Power trio

This still is the most badass moment with these blokes tho:

[sigh] Mustang is just such a better character in FMA 2009 / the manga.

[whispers to Al] No it’s not. #1. Philosophers’ Stone. #2. You’re armor.

:)))))))))))

#FMA #Fullmetal Alchemist #blabbing Haddock #non-dragons #liveblog #liveblogging

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rdpercocets · 6 years

Text

The in’s-n-outs of RDP & MKZ

You know, I've had tons of friends in my 26 years, but as cool as they are I was never really appreciated for me as a whole. Once people learned I was FILIPINO & Black, they would tend to focus on my Filipino side. To tell you the truth, I never really noticed it until I got older. Growing up, I always wished I was light skinned. I would say to myself, "If I wasn't black and ugly, then maybe people would pay attention to me and the girls would love me. But I'm just another black kid living in the Stockton." Haha man was my self esteem at an all-time low. So believing all these negatives thoughts, I lived with it. Over time this shy kid made a lot of friends and they ALWAYS thought I was cool because I was black and filipino. They always ignored my black side and you know what I ignored it too and I hated it. Even though my older brother would always tell me to be comfortable in my skin and embrace who I am. It never really stuck with me. But it wasn't until she came along with her beautiful luscious brown eyes and her wavy curls and extensive hip-hop knowledge. Forgot to mention that she had that natural Latina beauty. We clicked instantly, maybe because I was BLACK and then she learned about me lol. But she appreciated my black side so much I thought she was playing. You were definitely special. I would look for you everyday and we would talk about music, my people, life stories and vent to each other. But it was only at work. Once we got home we hardly ever talked which was fun because once it hit 6:45pm, you knew I'd be on my way haha...okay I took my time but I did make an effort to see you everyday. We became best friends. You appreciated both of my cultures so much, more the black side lol But I never understood why. And you would just go on rants why and it was YOU who made me feel comfortable being black. Like wow, Roney can be liked. This girl who has the same initials as a Lincoln MKZ made me feel special lol. But it was always hard for me to believe. I hate how I never took you seriously and would be on my way. Especially, when I got with my EX. These were the times when we started becoming closer and actually hanging outside of work. Because we spoke the same music language, we planned to go to tons of concerts. But I flaked on DFD and truthfully I was scared. I was scared of liking you way more than I already did. But then Oddisee happened and then Ab-Soul and that incident and I held you for like 30min. I will tell you that was the best 30mins of my life! lol. But we had this big ass fight and we didn't talk for 5 months and me not working at Amazon anymore signaled the end. But eventually you reached out and you don't know how much I wanted to call back but I never did. And I appreciate you calling the last time and me finally answering. It was like old times. I'm glad we had that fight because it brought us closer. We've only really had 2 major arguments and it brought us closer. You've always been a REAL nigga. And a true friend, you were always there when I needed you and I was for you but I tried to drop you like trash. All because you were content with your life and I should be happy for you. But I was going off on this thing where we should strive to be better and all that and I hate myself for the way I treated you. This was also the time you almost went back with your EX and I hated it so much. I was going to lose you again and that time I figured forever...FOREVER!! You cried. Not once but twice, for me forgetting your birthday and all I could say is "I dont know what you want me to do" and all you said was just to put in effort to make up for it. But I was too busy with some church girl who didn't care about my culture at all and it bothered me a lot. SMH. That day I cried because you were right. I'm over here wasting my time with someone who doesn't care and I'm over here being selfish and ignoring our bond and friendship and you. After that I realized how much of a real friend you are. I gave you all this bullshit and you still stick around. It pains me every time I think about it. I really messed things up and honestly I don't know if we could ever go back to that. Sometimes it feels like we do but I know your walls are staying put. There is no guarantee that I could hurt you again. I know this time you could just walk away and let it be. But I know not everything is perfect, there will always be bickering and what not. I'm truly sorry for everything, I never want to make you cry unless they are tears of joy or when we laugh so much that tears come out lol. And the only arguments we have are the ones where we both know that all my sports teams are better than yours or my musical knowledge is over 9000. I honestly, don't think I could live without you this time around. I just want you to know that 2018 is going to be your year and I'm going to support you as much as I can. Whether you want to be a cam girl or at amazon for life, as long as you're happy that's all that matters to me. "I'm just here to add a little color to the canvas." ...youre the canvas!! lol. You know I love you and appreciate you and I hope the rest of this year is filled with memories and laughter and new experiences and nothing but good vibes for us. Truth be told, this was supposed to be an MKZ appreciation post it I kept getting lost in the nostalgia...also I didn't re-read this over it's just from the top of my head so I know this sounds like a jumbled mess.... OOO this is the first post I finally wrote about you but I don't really like it. I wish it was poetic with dr. seuss rhymes and what not.

I left out so many things dude!!! Thank you for being you. You really changed my life. Even if I don't express it or show it. Now you know.

https://youtu.be/s0SUEMGZU04

Okay its not even a goodbye but perfect moment for this lol Sorry for the lengthy post :(

#mkz

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