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docholligay · 3 years

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Passover Seder for 15--This is How I Jew It (No, I will not apologize)

So, I am the Jew in Charge of Seder every year, not only in cooking the damn meal, but in leading it, which means I, as a practical matter, can’t be away too much. So, I do a meal for between 10-15, with stepping away for about 2-30 minutes. If I moved less quickly in the kitchen, it would probably be 40-50 minutes, but I am a creature of the kitchen and it’s no big deal.

The name of the game is: PRE-PREP. I have two ovens, but I put this together like a human being that does not, to show you how easily it can be done.

You need:

An oven

An electric roaster (I have no fucking clue what this is called in the UK. It’s this thing. I have one from when I did Tday with one oven, but I imagine you could sub a slow cooker if you had a smaller crowd.)

A large slow cooker

A sheet pan

A roasting pan

So, if you’re interested, in the New Year, closer to Passover, I can give you the actual recipes, but here is, from a timing standpoint, how I do things.

Meat: Prime Rib, which is BELLIIIEVVVEE is call Rib of Beef in Ye Ol’ Ingleterra, but I’m not 100%. Prime grade rib, here, is in the neighborhood of 20 bucks a pound. I do in fact ask my guests if they’d like to chip in, but I certainly don’t require it--Passover is our most expensive holiday and we make a huge deal of it in the way a lot of goyim do Christmas, food expense wise. I get a 15 pound roast. I go about a pound a person. I have never done a vegetarian seder, I don’t have vegetarians I’m close to, it’s just not common here even among the ~community~. I suppose I would do a slowroasted stuffed pumpkin or something--I find vegetarian centerpieces sometimes want for something.

Sides: Potatoes cooked in beef broth and spices, Honey dill carrots, brussels sprouts with duck bacon and mustard sauce. Passover is the one holiday where I make an honest to god, no dairy on the table, kosher style meal. So no mashed potatoes or anything like that.

Dessert: These are made the day before, no exceptions at all. Do not try to steal the time day of: Macaroons, Tarta De Santiago, flourless chocolate cookies.

So, how I do this. This is going to change based on how long you take to lead the seder. You have to know your own timing to adjust the timing of the meal.

Night before: unwrap your roast and let it dry in the fridge. Makes it cook better, makes the seasoning stick.

Morning of: Put your roast out and let it get to room temp. THIS IS ESSENTIAL for calculating the cooking time correctly. Should take 3-4 hours. Season it when you take it out of the fridge to let it get working, and season HEAVILY. THis is a big piece of meat.

Cut up your potatoes, toss them in a bowl, cover and put in the fridge. Same with brussels sprouts. I use baby carrots because I’m a lazy piece of shit so I don’t have to prep them.

DEPENDING ON ANTICIPATED MEAL TIME: Preheat your oven to 500 degrees F/260C yes you heard me correctly. I am the angel made of eyes and wings in front of you booming BE NOT AFRAID. So how you calculate the cook time is 5 min per poud, so yes, for a roast of my size that is 75 goddamn minutes at 500 and then TURN OFF THE OVEN AND DO NOT OPEN IT FOR TWO HOURS. DO NOT.

3 hours before meal time: throw carrots in the slow cooker with honey dill shit and cook on low (for my slow cooker, ymmv, try this one before your seder so you know)

2 hours before meal time: throw potatoes and beef broth, brown ale, and seasoning in your roaster. Turn onto 325 or so. This is also when I usually make the duck fat and mustard sauce and leave it sitting out.

Sit down and have your seder! When your two hours for the meat is up, get up, take it out of your oven, and turn your oven up to 425. Toss the brussels sprouts on a pan, and cook for 18 minutes or so. Heat up the sauce while you’re doing that, cut your meat. Toss the potatoes and carrots into serving dishes. Get it to the table. By the time you do that, brussels sprouts should be done, toss in warmed sauce, take to table.

Boom. Done. You’re a flawless Pesach angel.

#the holligay season

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atomicangelstarlight-blog · 7 years

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Maple Cupcakes - Chocolate Chocolate and More! https://www.artandthekitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Nanaimo-Bars.jpg

June 30, 2017

Maple cupcakes have a subtle maple flavor. Intensify the flavor with more maple syrup if you like and top with a little maple bacon for a fun Canada Day treat!

The wonderful thing about cupcakes is you can make them in just about any flavor. Even if you are using a quick and easy box mix, all you need to change up a basic vanilla or white package is to add some flavoring to the batter.

My recent trip to Canada reminded me that they celebrate their birthday just days before we in the United States celebrate ours. July 1, 2017 marks the 150th birthday of our neighbor to the north, so I thought it might be nice to mark this milestone with some maple cupcakes!

Now, I know maple isn’t for everyone — my mom refuses to eat anything maple, so we always had two kinds of syrup for pancakes or waffles. But the flavor in this maple cupcake base recipe is very subtle — not like you are biting into a maple smothered cupcake — just slightly infused.

If you want to add more bang for your Canadian maple buck, you can do “poke” cupcakes and after the cupcakes come out of the oven, poke small holes in the tops and drizzle more syrup over the top so it gets into the interior of the cupcake. And if you really want more maple — consider drizzling some maple syrup into your icing.

The final tasty option for these maple infused treats is bacon — because in my mind, everything is better with bacon. When I mentioned to a co-worker that I was making maple cupcakes, she immediately said “With bacon??” So, while I didn’t add bacon to the cupcakes (although if you want to be adventurous, that is always an option), I did add some pieces on top of the icing, which I had also drizzled some maple syrup over. (I used plain vanilla cream cheese icing.) When I shared the final result with my co-workers, both mumbled “Oh so good” between bites.

Regardless of how much maple or bacon you decide to use, I think this recipe is a nice way to celebrate a 150th birthday — or any birthday for that matter!

Maple Cupcakes

Prep 15 mins

Cook 25 mins

Inactive 20 mins

Total 60 mins

Yield 24 cupcakes

Maple makes these cupcakes oooh so good -- eh?

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 cup unsalted butter, slightly softened

1 tbsp shortening

3/4 cups maple syrup

2 eggs

3/4 cups whole milk

cream cheese frosting (you could use store bought or this recipe)

Instructions

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Line 24 muffin/cupcake tins with paper lining and set aside.

In a small bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

In a large bowl (or bowl of a stand mixer) at medium speed, combine butter and shortening.

Add maple syrup and mix until thoroughly combined.

Add eggs and mix until thoroughly combined.

On slow speed, add flour mixture until flour is moist, but not completely integrated.

Add milk, and mix until all ingredients are integrated into a smooth batter.

Distribute batter evenly between cupcake pans, but do not fill each liner above half way.

Bake 25 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean when testing in the middle of the cupcake.

Place on cooling rack. Allow to cool completely before icing.