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newbyimagines · 5 years

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Under the Cover of Night

Ivar x Reader.

Summary: Y/N had been many places and knew how to defend herself but what happens when she comes face to face with Ivar the Boneless.

Note: I wrote this for the lovely @honestsycrets because of her birthday

Standing at the base of the wall you put both of your swords back into the sheaths upon you back. You’d wandered into a small area in the woods where a mother begged you to go into the nearby town of York and find her daughter. She had told you about the attack and how she had managed to escape. You watched from the shadows as different men walked along the walls. You waited for a gap before you started to climb up the old jagged stones.

After wandering for so long you’d picked up many talents along with the different tongues. You had started using a unique two sword fighting style instead of carrying a shield. You has also started covering your face, you were after all a mercenary.

You heaved your body over the wall and ducked into the shadows. Unsheathing one of your swords you slit the throat of the guard before hiding inside a bell tower.

“You do not look like part of my army.” You’d somehow missed the man sitting in the shadows, his face covered by a cloak. You unsheathed your other sword tensed for battle. His face leaned forward almost intrigued by your response. From the moon light you could see fearsome blue eyes and a grin.

“I shall see you in the morning” it was your turn to look confused before you felt something hit the back of your head causing you to blackout.

You felt the pounding in your head first before you noticed the chain that locked around your neck.

You tried to pry it off despite knowing that whoever put it didn’t want it to come off.

“Good morning,” looking up you saw the man from the night before, his eyes were unmistakable. You looked down, your armor had been stripped and you were left in trousers and tunic.

“Where is my armor?”

“Well I was surprised after removing your mask to see a warrior such as your self to be a women, mainly you only see it in my world. Your armor covered up your beauty so I removed it.”

“What do you want? Why am I still alive?”

He just smiled at that, this was all a game to him. He has the upper hand, for now.

“Why should I kill such an interesting woman? Hmmm?” His hand reaches out towards you but you pulled away. “How is it you speak our language?”

“I am a wanderer, I speak many languages.” You thought leaving out the mercenary part out would be best. You were dealing with an unknown opposition, that made you uncomfortable. He had bested you once but you weren’t having it a second time.

“Interesting, and why is it that you wanted to wander into this city and kill one of my warriors?” You were annoyed by him, you couldn’t figure the game he was playing.

“Why is it you’ve chained me like a pet?”

“Well you were about to attack me.” He stood up leaning on a crutch, his legs supported by metal. The man was a cripple. “Come.” He yanked the chain pulling you behind him scrambling to stand.

You tried to fight him but he was much stronger than he looked.

“Stop fighting,” he growled as he made his way towards the church in the center of York. The mother who hired you has said her daughter lived with her husband not to far away from there.

“What is your name?” Two men opened the door for him as you walked in tow.

“Depends on who you ask.”

“I am asking you.” He walked up to a chair in front of the former altar, if the christians could see it now. He shortened the chain so you had to stand right next to him.

“Some call me (Y/N),” he reached out and took one of your hands and tried to pull you into his lap. “I am a wanderer not a whore so do not treat me like one.”

“You are a prisoner, you do not tell me what to do.” His grip tightened but you used your other hand and found a pressure point making his grip release. “What was that?”

“It’s an eastern form of self defense. It won’t kill your opponent but one can defeat them. Touch me again and I will use more than just that.” He smiled, he seemed to enjoy your resistance.

“Why did you come here?”

“Why did you?”

He prides himself on being smart you could see it, you knew he could see you as well. His eyes told you that he was the type to have a plan but you were not planned. That he hated, but you still made him curious.

“Why are you avoiding my questions?”

“I cannot tell a man I do not know my every secret. The christians would find it improper.”

“Have you not figured out who I am yet? For someone claiming to be a wander I feel that you must of heard stories of the great heathen army.” The army sent to avenge Ragnar Lothbrok, lead by his sons. The worst being the crippled son, said to have the blood thirst of his gods.

“If this is the heathen army then you must be a son of Ragnar to lead it.” He seemed irked when you didn’t say his name. “Are you his eldest? Björn Ironside? Or the warrior Ubbe?” You knew you had hit a nerve, his teeth ground together before he tried to raise a hand to you.

“I AM IVAR THE BONELESS!” After yelling he pushed you aside, but still made you stay near him. He held your chain like one would hold a dogs lead, you felt ashamed for being caught but even more angry at him for keeping you like his bitch.

You sat down on the cold stone steps watching as people filtered in and out of the church that functioned like the Vikings great hall would.

“Brother,” a breath taking honey haired blonde came in. “Is this the girl? She does not look like much. She is definitely no Saxon though.”

“She says that she is a wanderer, quite useless one at that.” You rolled your eyes before glaring at him. “It is true, what wonderer would be dumb enough to try and invade a town filled with the greatest army ever known?”

“What man keeps a wander hostage?” You spat back at him.

“It’s unusual to see a woman wanderer. I would like to keep her brother, make her mine.” The honey haired blonde who had to be another son of Ragnar looked at you like a peasant would a feast.

“I do not belong to anyone!” You stood trying to strike the man in front of you only to feel the chain around your neck jerk you back. You turned your rage filled eyes back to Ivar staring daggers at him.

“We will bring her back with us.”

“I will go nowhere with you.” You pounced at him pulling a hidden dagger from you tunic but stopped short when a sword was held to your throat.

“Thank you Hvitserk.” He pulled the dagger from you hand giving it to a salve, “keep this with her armor. (Y/N) try anything like that again and it will be certain that your fate is for you to lie in the ground.”

“Let me go then and no one here will die.” Hvitserk stood close enough behind you that you could feel his chest against your back.

“I do not think your in the position to be making demands.” You reach l up and gripped his head while pushing your hip back before flinging him over your shoulder into Ivar. His sword fell to the ground and you picked it up.

“Positions change, now let me go, I am a wanderer I belong to the world not you.”

The others in the hall were apprehensive, you had their leaders at the tip of your sword.

“No.” Ivar seethed hiding his spark of curiosity.

You yanked the chain from Ivars grasp and turned to fight the men. The sword you stole was too heavy to be used one handed as you usually would. After plunging it into the side of one you used the chain as a weapon disarming some and knocking out others. You made it to the main door but an axe flew past you and buried itself in the door deep enough to make it impossible to open quickly.

Turning around you saw Ivar smiling as Hvitserk pulled his sword from the man you had killed. Swinging it around ready for a fair fight with you. He smiled like any viking would, he enjoyed the fight.

“I feel like you lied to me (Y/N), you fight to well to be a simple wanderer.” You turned and pulled the axe from the door using your foot as leverage before facing Hvitserk who was charging you. You dodged the attack and tried to talk him down.

“I do not wish to fight you but I will if you insist.” He scoffed at your statement, he wasn't used to losing and you could tell.

“I have defeated much bigger men then you and fought fiercer shield maidens.” You were not one who was tested in combat often but you looked forward to taking the smug look off his face. He swung at you but you were able to repel his strike with the axe.

“If it is a fair fight you want it would be easier if I had not been stripped of my armor and swords. But nevertheless I will defeat you so that I can move on from this place.” With that he charged at you again done with the talking. He held a large amount of strength for someone so lean which took you by surprise as you blocked his next strike with the axe. You started to twirl the chain waiting for the moment he left himself open to take the sword away. He swiped towards your midsection but you were able to move away before it cut you letting it graze your arm. He laughed his glee as he fought you. You tried to swipe at him with the axe but he caught the swing with his sword and pushed you back. When he stepped back clearly proud of himself for drawing blood and throwing you back. You had to fight smarter than him because of his strength. He tried to stab you but you sidestepped again before thrusting the chain forward so it wrapped around the handle of the sword tugging it from his hand. The clatter of the sword on the floor made him look between you and the sword quickly.

He went to fetch the sword and you used the moment to get him from behind as he was distracted. You pushed off the nearby pillar to give yourself more momentum to throw the viking to the floor by sending your knee into his back. You landed gracefully as you had been taught but he was barely able to catch his sudden and unexpected fall. Standing up you pushed your boot into his spine pinning him to the floor before wrapping the chain around his neck to wrench his head backwards. He grasped at the chain as you pulled cutting off his air supply as he was defenseless. Before you could finish the job you felt a slice on the back of your shoulders causing you to let go of the chain. Hvitserk took the moment to grab your supporting foot and dragged you to the ground. You let go of the axe as you fell and Hvitserk picked it up and held it to your neck.

“Enough!” Ivar commanded from above you. He had attacked you to save his brother.

“She almost killed me.” The blade was pressed into you further about to break the skin.

“I stopped her, and we’re keeping her.” You glared at him before you felt the punch land on your face. Hvitserk wasn’t happy with Ivars choice, he hit once more and you head went straight into the stone floor knocking you out for the second time in less than one whole day.

You woke up this time not on a cold dirt floor but on a cot covered in furs. You laid on your stomach as you felt someone touching your back. You quickly tried to get up but Ivar had seemed to learn and you were shackled by your wrists to the cot.

You felt a cold chill hit your skin and noticed that your tunic was now gone.

“I will kill you bastard.” You strained against the shackles trying to face who was touching you. “Ivar I will have your head for this.”

“You should be glad the head that is not wanted is your own.” You looked directly in front of you to see Ivar watching you from a chair. “Hvitserk took his defeat very personally and seems to want to fight you again or humiliate you. He claims that he was not ready to fight and that you cheated.”

“Why am I yet again bound like your pet? I am a wanderer not a slave.”

“Well for one you tried to kill Hvitserk and you did kill one of my personal guards while injuring the egos of others. The second reason is that I no longer believe you when you say you are a wanderer, and lastly I wanted someone to look at those nasty cuts. I don’t want you to die on us just yet I have barely gotten to know you or figured out why the Gods gave me such a beautiful warrior.”

“That does not explain why I am naked nor who is touching me.” You tried to turn around but with the way your hands were shackled around the cot you couldn’t move your upper body.

“Oh that is my friend who is quite good at tattoos but when we removed your shirt we found so many scars.I have concluded that you are no mere wanderer.” You started messing with your hands under the cot so you could get out before something else happened.

“I do wander but I am also a warrior. A lady of my profession must be able to fight or die.”

“Then who do you fight for?”

“I fight for who ever pays the most.”

“Who sent you here?” You dislocated your thumb sliding your hand out of the cuff before pushing it back into its socket. You bit into your lip not letting a sound escape from the self inflicted pain.

“Well I wasn’t sent here to kill you so if you could let me go, wait did you say tattoos? What the hell were you planning on doing to an unconscious lady?” You pushed yourself up and walked over to him not caring about how revealed you were do to the anger that courses through your veins.

“You said you can be bought?”

“Do not ignore my question.”

“People tell stories through the marks on their skin, I was merely trying to make sense of yours.” In all the yelling you must have broke open your lip again because you could taste the iron in your mouth. “Now what is your price to become my warrior for life?”

“My sword is not bought to fight wars,”

“Fine then, you might want to change.” He handed you a worn wool gown. You reluctantly take it seeing as you did not want to continue walking around naked, not in a town filled with Vikings.

When you walked into Ivars view you saw that his expression had changed.

“Take her to see the bishop. Let her rethink her decision but hopefully she changes her mind soon.” Two guards grabbed you and dragged you away as you tried to free yourself but they had caught you by surprise and held on tightly.

You found yourself chained inside an old building being used as a jail with a Saxon man.

“You do not look like the rest of these warriors young lady.”

“Let me guess you are the bishop?” The chains were pulling you tightly towards the ceiling leaving you stretched out causing your wounds to reopen slightly.

“Bishop Heahmund, and who are you?” He looked at you curiously as you wore the dress Ivar had given you leaving little unknown.

“Some call me Y/N,” Unlike Ivar you saw that spark of extreme curiosity to ask the one question Ivar had not.

“What do others call you?”

“Azure.” it was the name your clients knew, the people feared that name few knew it rarey knew that belonged to a woman. It was how you usually got your marks into a false sense of security.

“The Godless mercenary? No wonder you are so good at your trade, men rarely suspect females.”

“That they do, Why are you here?”

“I was fighting in the name of the Lord to take back the town of York from these heathens.”

You heard the door open as someone walked into the light that came from the window. Hvitserk held a plate of food and something in a cup. He sat down on a stool that was directly across from you. Picking food off the plate and eating it as he watched you.

“If it isn't the brother, come to join us in this cell? Was your leader not able to join us in our humble abode.”

“Oh do shut up priest, I came to see the woman who almost bested me in a duel.”

“And I would’ve won if it was not for your brother having to save you.”

“Speaking of my brothers actions has anyone cared to treat that wound? It must hurt being stretched like that.”

“Pain is something inside the mind, I’ve endured it enough to not give it my time.”

“I also brought you something to drink, I’ve been told the wine in this region is decent but nothing compares to a true viking ale.” he stood up and pushed the cup against your lips forcing you to drink. You tased something off about this wine, you knew it would be nothing like the wines in Frankia but this was different.

“Why don’t you have some?” You had felt it start to act quickly within your body.

“You are my guest why would I take from you little warrior?”

“Because it’s poisoned? Is this because I almost had your head on a spike?” You’d grown a tolerance to many things but you had no clue what poisons the Vikings used, mainly because you’d never heard of vikings using poison.

“It’s not poison, well I hope it is not. It's just something to help you sleep you look a little tired.” his hand caressed your face and you flinched, it was still healing from the beating you’d received from him the day before. You felt your limbs becoming heavy as shouting came from the bishop beside you. This job was becoming more and more complicated by the moment.

“You heathen bastard.” was all you could mutter before you were almost completely out of it.

You felt your head go slack before he whispered in your ear.

“I would be kind to your new master.”

#vikings #vikings imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #Ivar #ivar lothbrok #ivar's heathen army #ivar x reader #Hvitserk Ragnarsson #hvitserk lothbrok #hvitserk imagine #hvitserk x reader

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roses-ruby · 4 years

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So lemme just rant as a fellow desi, I have seen couples live with each other despite one or both of them being disloyal hoes and they stay together just coz our culture looks down on separation and frankly its toxic. Like I know you have probably written a lot of the chtmd2 already,but bro, I would love to see Jimin suffer, I would love to see the OC fcking drag that bitch through this emotional turmoil where he absolutely craves her but she got no fcks to give and he will WEEP at his LOSS

WHAT HAS GOT YOU IN THIS MOOD HSBJSBJ i’m crine

Rant to me anytime babydoll, I absolutely fucking agree with you and have a few things to say myself. I was talking about this to my sister a few weeks ago, and we were talking about how people look down on not just separation, but specifically women being separated. They literally look at her like picky used goods. It’s revolting. I told my sister then, that I will never see divorce as anything but liberation. I don’t care which lovestruck, heart in his ass fool wants to disagree and call it terrible, divorce is freedom and I have a lot of respect for women who understand that their relationship, although matrimonial, is toxic or unworthy for them.

I once saw somewhere that this guy asked his grandmother “Grandma, how come people got divorced less in your lifetime?” To which the grandmother responded with something along the lines of “Because back then, if there was a problem, we actually worked on our marriage, rather than get divorced over the smallest shit.” LMAO this old bitch lying through her missing front teeth hddhkbdk no, you didn’t get divorced because society told you not to. You didn’t get divorced because you were scared and scarified yourself and your man beating up on you daily seemed more promising than rotting homeless. You didn’t get divorced because you were barely educated, not able to get a job and provide for yourself and your husband knew that and took advantage of it. You didn’t get divorced because of the fake info going around that children will be scarred after divorce. You didn’t get divorced because you let the opinions of everyone but your own self run you, and threw aside your happiness, pain, anger, hurt until you were numb. You didn’t get divorced because of misogyny, and only that. Not because you ever had anything to work on grandma. And now you’re sitting here, judging other women because you believe that if you can get through an alcoholic and abusive husband for your children, so should they. Pathetic.

It is not just divorce, have you seen the way our culture treats widowed women??? Last year, my mother’s friend (also desi) lost her husband to a heart attack. She was rightfully devastated. Us and a few other desi women decided to give her a visit to make sure she’s holding up. My mother and I, knowing that the poor woman probably hadn’t eaten yet made her and her 14 yr old son sandwiches, daal, and chai. So we go to her house, where most of the women had already arrived (also you know the desi woman circle, everyone knows each other). She’s on her sofa, crying her eyes out and everyone’s circling her and calling her ‘poor thing.’ Anyway, as we sit down we start to notice smthg really strange. Other than us, no one had brought her anything to eat or drink. Which is fine whatever, but they weren’t even offering her words of comfort??? They were saying shit like “Don’t go outside of the house without wearing a black veil, it is a sin.” “Read a certain prayer through the whole night for your husband without sleeping.” “Don’t wear jewerly or bangles ever again.” One even told her to not step out of her house when she talked about finding work!

Needless to say, my mother and I were LIVID lmao. They were punishing her for her husband’s death??? Fucking society bro jhbdjdb But enough about them, to me the saddest part was when I took out the food I had for her family, her son was staring at me with such hunger. I told him, “Here hon, it’s for you.” and he looked back at his mother and asked her if he could have some. The mother said yes ofc, but the thing is, if she hadn’t fed her son she obviously hadn’t fed herself and here were these fucking roaches, who obviously don’t give a shit about her well-being telling her how to live the rest of her widowed life. Sickening.

The way society treats men will never be as bad as how they have treated and traumatized women, which is why I feel that we get so upset and want men to suffer. Especially in these situations.

CHTMD is my creation, but it has it’s own heart you know. As satisfying as it would be to see Jimin suffer, this story is about the OC and her growth. It’s a testament to me, as a writer, if I want to be self-indulgent or let the story play out to it’s true form. There’s a lot of different factors I have to consider: OC’s character and psychology, Jimin’s actions, side characters involvements, OC’s environment, ‘would a character like Jimin even suffer from this loss?’ etc. Now, the story that inspired CHTMD had the cheater end up with the OC as a happy ending because the author said they ‘got attached’ to the characters. And I just can’t. I would never want to be an irresponsible writer like that lol. Our culture has its downsides but I can’t take that out onto the characters I’ve given life to. It’s not fair to them. Now before I go on further with this cheesy nonsense, just know that I have written a lot for CHTMD, but the ending is still in the works. It is up to the scenarios and characters to decide how this will end.

Okay, so I have no idea why I ended up ranting that much but I completely understand your sentiments. I’m screaming, plz feel free to come and drag CHTMD’s Jimin anytime through my inbox snsbb it’s satisfying as fuckk.

#bruh this woke me up #i can feel ur anger from here i love it #R:Ask #skiangel #fuck women that play into this society even though i understand they are also victims lol #the way my grandmother told me her mother said 'so? it could be worse' to when she told her that her husband hits her #yeah anyway cunts #sorry for the rant baby i went everywhere for no reason #R:CHTMD

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alicentes · 5 years

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Thoughts on the 100 6x01.

Kind of wish we got to see space kru’s initial reaction to marpers death and meeting Jordan for the first time.

I love that raven finally has someone who treats her right and someone who truly puts her first.

I feel like if they brake becho up soon they can actually develop echo into an actual character and focus on her other relationships and make her likeable and less one dimensional (which they should’ve done in the first place if they wanted to make her relevant)

Jordan is just like monty and harper you can see his parents in him. (He’s even a little like jasper too)

“You should go first this time”

“No, We go together”

seeing them arrive on the new planet paralleling the scene of them arriving on earth but everyone just seeming so sad and damaged compared to those excited kids full of hope and the noticeable absence of most of the og cast was nostalgic and heartbreaking (they should’ve played a slowed down version of radioactive)

Monty is still saving everyone from beyond the grave <\3

Raven and Jordan interacting 🤗

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY DID THAT TO SHAW THIS IS LIKE WELLS ALL OVER AGAIN (but even worse)

There is this recurring theme of how they treat and kill off black men to “save everyone” and then use their death to further the stories of white women usually (wellss, lincoln, thelonious and now shaw)

Bellamy said it best, he died a hero.

Bellamy and Clarke will always support each other no matter what. Love that.

Glad raven gets to be rightfully mad at Abby and is holding her accountable.

They won’t let raven be happy for more than five minutes. She’s going to find out that they one person who loves her more than anything and always puts her first was killed.

Niylah’s still Octavia’s bitch I see.

Did Octavia just save Kane so she could yell him to death?

THE RADIO CALLS

“I’m sorry I couldn’t respond all those years”

“Talking to you everyday, even though you didn’t answer, it kept me sane” BELLAMY kept her sane.

so the planet is gonna be making them go crazy huh?

What if “Bellamy keeping Clarke sane” is foreshadowing something?!

Emori better survive whatever this is. I’m not losing her too.

Also, I want to wish Jordan Bolger good luck in his current and future projects. This show made a mistake getting rid of him but he’s talented and is going to go far.

He’s joining Ricky, Nadia, Chai, Eli, Chelsey and Chris in the deserves better than a show that doesn’t appreciate them squad.

#i’m in amsterdam rn so i wont be able to answer any messages until i get back (i scheduled this post after watching the leaked episode)#the 100 #the 100 spoilers

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lemon-writings · 5 years

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Playlist: Zamsel

This playlist is for my son character Zach Amsel (Zamsel) from my book WADAA. He’s one of the few characters that gets their own playlist, especially in WADAA. It’s difficult to give characters like Kam playlists, but it’s easy to curate a collection of songs for Zamsel.

He’s a relatively sad guy, but it’s fair, all things considered. Poor guy has some severe anxiety and a toxic relationship with his girlfriend, Chai. A lot of the songs are New Medicine, which I think of as Chai’s band. It’s also one of the gosh dang saddest playlists I’ve made within the past couple years. Like, wow, buddy. You’re really sad. I wonder who did that to you.

This playlist is continuously growing, so I’ll probably update it from time to time.

Bad Habit - Ben Platt

You always said that I'd come back to you again / 'Cause everybody needs a friend, it's true / Someone to quiet the voices in my head / Make 'em sing to me instead, it's you

Hate to say that I love you / Hate to say that I need you / Hate to say that I want you / But I do

You make me feel like I'm floatin' off the ground / Above this little town, you do / Look at me smile with tears in my eyes / I love the way you lie, I do

Like A Rose - New Medicine

You better pray she took her morning medication / Or you might have to pick her up at the police station / 'Cause if there's trouble in this town, you know she's gonna find it / She's like the devil in a short skirt but I don't mind it / Everybody thinks I'm crazy, but they don't even know

She got jagged edges and a dirty mouth, what a lady / And she got everything that I don't wanna live without / She's kinda like a rose / She's kinda like a rose / She's kinda like a rose and you might wanna run / 'Cuz even when she's cold, she's burnin' like the sun / The bitch is rock n roll, and let me tell you, son / Don't care if you don't like her / I love her, I love her

Broken Girl - New Medicine

I wish I didn't know you, I wish I didn't care / I shoulda known that we were never going anywhere / I shoulda lied a little, I shoulda cheated too / I guess you only want to love someone who hurts you

Yeah, you're always calling me at 3:00 A.M / Drunk and lonely, here we go again

Hey, you're begging me to stay / And know just what to say / I gotta get away, you're just a broken girl / Oh, your body's saying "go", you're naked on the floor / Don't love me anymore, you're just another broken girl

I wish that I could fix you, I know I never could / Maybe you're just afraid of anything that's any good / You say you think about me, but you see other guys / Sometimes I guess I feel like loving you is suicide / Still there's somethin' I just can't resist / I guess that's how it always comes to this

Dead Love Song - New Medicine

I didn't wanna break you down / I sacrificed myself, my conscious wouldn't let me out / Oh, there's the cage I'm in / Poison dropping on my skin / Goodbye's hanging on my tongue / And I know I'll die if I don't run

I only got one thing on my mind / Nothing's gonna stop me, not this time / Wasted way too long, living in the lines of a dead love song / I've been afraid to let you know / I've been afraid to let you go, I've been afraid

Heart With Your Name On It - New Medicine

Goddamn, you treat me like shit / But I keep coming back for more / I'm so over it, but I just can't run / 'Cause just when I think I've had enough of your suicidal love / Well, you always suck me in

It's like the more fucked up shit you do, the more I'm into you / And I just can't say goodbye

Breaking up was my idea, so why do I feel so low? / You know that I tried like hell to forget you / I'm lying in someone else's bed, but you're all up in my head / Like there's no escaping you

Boy Like Me - New Medicine

She's the only girl I see / She don't wanna be with a boy like me

She's the kinda girl that you can never please / She don't even really wanna talk to me

I don't wanna live another day like this / In a world where she don't even know that I exist

Self Esteem - The Offspring

But she came over, I lost my nerve / I took her back and made her dessert / Now I know I'm being used / That's okay, man, 'cause I like the abuse / I know she's playing with me / That's okay 'cause I've got no self-esteem

When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease / Then I wonder how much more I can spend / Well, I guess I should stick up for myself / But I really think it's better this way / The more you suffer / The more it shows you really care / Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah

Late at night, she knocks on my door / She's drunk again and looking to score / Now I know I should say no / But it's kind of hard when she's ready to go / I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb / I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem

Sex in the City - Hobo Johnson

Sex in the city / Probably feels really really nice / With hands placed on faces and twinkles in their eyes / Sex in the city / Probably looks really really great with / A girl that's like a ten and a guy that's 'bout an eight / Sex in the city / Sounds like it takes place on stage / Both moaning in key while Marvin Gaye sings / Sex in the city / Candles smell like great jobs and promising careers / My candles smell like fear my roommates may hear

I have really bad b-acne / It looks like the gosh-dang night sky / And I promise I'm gonna get it taken care of

Peach Scone - Hobo Johnson

And I love the thought of being with you / Or maybe it’s the thought of not being so alone! / Hey, the second one’s way sadder than the first one / But I don’t know

Shit, I love being—I love being loved, but / Don't like crying on the phone

And if you find someone who loves you for who you are / Keep loving 'em, man / 'Cause that shit happens like, once in a lifetime, y'know? / And who am I to get in the way of someone living their lifetime, Y'know?

House of Gold - Twenty One Pilots

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old / Will you buy me a house of gold / And when your father turns to stone / Will you take care of me?" / I will make you queen of everything you see / I'll put you on the map / I'll cure you of disease

Let's say we up and left this town / And turned our future upside down / We'll make pretend that you and me / Lived ever after happily

And since we know that dreams are dead / And life turns plans up on their head / I will plan to be a bum / So I just might become someone

Twin Size Mattress - The Front Bottoms

It’s no big surprise you turned out this way / When they closed their eyes and prayed you would change / And they cut your hair, and sent you away / You stopped by my house the night you escaped / With tears in my eyes, I begged you to stay / You said “Hey man, I love you, but no fucking way”

This is for the lake that me and my friends swim in / Naked and dumb on a drunken night / And it should've felt good, but I could hear the Jaws theme song / On repeat in the back of my mind / Make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face / There are lessons to be learned / Consequences for all the stupid things I say / And it is no big surprise you turned out this way / The spark in your eyes, the look on your face, I will not be brave

She hopes I’m cursed forever / To sleep on a twin-sized mattress / In somebody’s attic or basement my whole life / Never graduating up in size to add another / And my nightmares will have nightmares every night / Oh, every night, every night

Relapse - Divided By Friday

I don’t wanna be somebody falling into relapse / Every time I see that smile again / I just think of when you said “I love you / But I don’t think I can be the one.”

Did you forget that we said “I’m never gonna leave you / Always gonna keep you right here next to me?” / So why am I the only one; the lonely part of “we?”

Colors - Halsey

You were red, and you liked me because I was blue / But you touched me, and suddenly I was a lilac sky / Then you decided purple just wasn't for you

Ease My Mind - Ben Platt

Most days, I wake up with a pit in my chest / There are thoughts that I can't put to rest / There's a worry that I can't place / Most nights, I am restless and quiet won't come / So I lay there and wait for the sun / There's a trouble that won't show its face

Darling, only you can ease my mind / Help me leave these lonely thoughts behind / When they pull me under, and I can feel my sanity start to unwind / Darling, only you can ease my mind

Peach - The Front Bottoms

One day, you will find someone / Who will love you like you deserve / But tonight, I'm the only one left / And I'm betting it's a fact that you will never learn

You say I'm gonna miss you when you leave / And you are probably right

You say I should think before I talk / You say I shouldn't think about my life

Archive - Mal Blum

And so I spent the winter bundled up / Pretending I was sane / And giving up / The things I love the most / Because they felt like pain

And I lied to all my friends, said I was happy when I wasn't / And you lied to all yourselves / Said I could give you what you wanted / But it all feels so much bigger than / Some blame-filled, lonely break up

#playlist #spotify playlist #noveling playlist #zamsel #tw: abusive relationships #tw: drug use

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