#all of these are difinitive proof that star power acting ain’t shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daincrediblegg · 1 year

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You asked for it babe! WORST JARED HARRIS CHARACTERS PLEASE

ASK AND I SHALL ANSWER (tho I’m sorry no gifs for this one bc like… these roles are so bad nobody has bothered to gif them which is very funny to me). And I should clarify- these are not him *acting* poorly- but rather roles that fill me with rage for one reason or another (usually that he isn’t in it MORE honestly). Like these are just roles that fucking VEX me terribly bc I know (we ALL know) he’s a good actor. And yet… and yet…

5. Septimus - Pompeii

He gets some slack on this list because like listen. Pompeii is a fucking terrible movie on every goddamn level. But Jared, king that he is, still put his whole pussy into the one trait his character has: which is loving his wife. And that kinda redeemed having to watch the rest of it just a little, but just barely (also should note I saw this IN THEATERS. I PAYED MONEY FOR IT. You’re welcome Jared).

4.Captain Anderson - To The Ends Of The Earth

Look. If Jared Harris is a sea captain in something, I will watch it. The pretty red hair and beaming smile will get me through anything. Was it worth it to suffer through bennedict cumberbatch for like 3 hours tho?? … jury’s still out but as my parents taught me (who are both lawyers) the longer they’re out the more likely it’s a guilty verdict. Benebum cuminmyass is really not worth watching I’m so sorry. But I did get my beautiful man whore in tight 19th century pants and making fun of him the whole time so thats a plus. He’s too pretty to be mad at for long.

3. Sanders - The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

You know. I really don’t know what I expected. It’s a Guy Ritchie joint. He will avoid casting JH in a prominent role like the Plague. I sat down to watch this hopeful that he had changed, but alas. My mans has maybe 5 minutes of screentime tops. And my family has made me watch it 2 more times since my initial viewing. Every time I suffer. Because he’s just Not. Fucking. THERE. Guy Ritchie give my man a decent fucking role for ONCE challenge. I’ll be waiting with a sledgehammer in the corner of your room while you sleep until you do.

2. Captain Mike - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Look. I love him in this. I really do. He’s such a slut. Such a beautiful whore. Cherry, what you have done with him in fic is better than what anyone could have ever done with him. Also with the exception of perhaps the most recent tarantino films I fucking hate brad pitt generally. There needed to be more of my man. Justice for better writing and better side characters. Yes? Yes. (Also how is this a David Fincher joint? How? You’re better than this dude).

1. Andy Warhol - I shot Andy Warhol

I have literally never even seen this one. But I literally don’t have to to know its terrible. Just google up JH in that and you will understand. They massacred my boy. He deserves better.

#all of these are difinitive proof that star power acting ain’t shit #no small roles only small actors. and Jared is certainly not. thank you and good night #ask games #jared harris

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