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#alexia putellas x y/n
awfcspencer · 9 days
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Text or Call? || alexia putellas x reader
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prompt: At the 2019 World Cup you meet Alexia, what happens at the 2023 World Cup.
warnings: uswnt!reader, instances of angst but a happy ending
“The United States look to continue their powerful regime and earn a fourth covenant star on their jerseys.”
It was the somewhat mantra of this year’s major tournament, building the pressure to perform well to the highest magnitude. There was an expectation of excellence surrounding the team months leading up to the tournament, with new eyes joining the march nearly every day, boosting the US to new heights. 
The 2019 Women’s World Cup had been set and it was imperative that the United States go back-to-back World Champions, you could see the newspapers now as it seemed it was somewhat written in the stars for the United States. The pressure to play well was there, and you couldn’t let down your country on the national stage. The prevailing narrative casted an array of self-doubt and anxieties into you, and you couldn’t deny the lingering thoughts of what-ifs. What if you don’t play well? What if you don’t win? 
You’d spent countless years preparing for this opportunity, moving through the USWNT age groups with ease and then battling to make the senior team roster. You’d been playing professional soccer for a couple years right out of college, playing for a few different NWSL teams throughout your career. A few international assignments scattered along the schedule leading up to the World Cup proved you were worthy of such call-up and when the roster was announced, you’d managed to escape with a spot. 
The media’s outrage was uncontrollable, claiming other national team members deserved your earned spot more than you, the constant outpour of hatred flooded your social media, it was hard to ignore, just like the dark cloud that casted over you as you landed in France to begin the tournament. 
The group stage had gone swimmingly, the United States proved once again why they were a threat and seemingly looked to breeze by competition. The roster was filled with the highest of talent but still you’d managed to find minutes on the pitch, only causing increased negative media. One bad pass or one bad movement made you feel each and every ruthless word that the fans spewed online, it was uneasy to escape the anxious feeling you felt each time you played. 
Your national teammates tried to shield you from the hatred online, but you saw it, and throughout select moments of the tournament, you felt yourself desperately trying to prove them wrong, but your head was clouded and your mind was on overdrive, your apparent distractedness was only hurting your game. 
With an upcoming knock round game versus Spain, you seeked to play your game, play the game you loved with every fiber in you, play with the seemingly carefree nature that set your game apart from your teammates. The same energy and joy you played with during the NWSL season that had initially brought your name up to Jill, you needed to return to yourself, you needed to play for yourself and not listen to what hundreds of people said behind anonymous screens.
The match against Spain in the midfield looked to be a challenge you welcomed, matched up directly across Alexia Putellas, a woman near your age who had been streamlining a new era of Spain dominance and prolonged success of Liga F’s Barcelona team. 
You’d yet had the chance to meet the brunette in person, but seconds before kickoff you couldn’t deny the effortless beautifulness the midfielder had. Her fixed concentration and aura was undeniable, there was something enticing about her that you clearly didn’t have time to ponder on as the whistle blew and the game had begun.
The US managed to strike first but an untimely mistake that Jenni Hermoso quickly countered on and the score was tied 1-1.  
A wave of up and downs on both sides left the match up in the air, both sides fighting desperately to move on. You’d spent most of the match marking the vital number 11 for Spain, she moved rapidly down the pitch, excelling at such rate that you questioned if she was human or not, her stamina never withering. Alex had sent you a narrow ball on the route down the right side, forcing an untimely challenge from the Spaniard you’d been eyeing all game. You’d felt every spike of her cleat in your ankle, immediate pain coursing through the bone. 
“Lo sien- I am sorry.” She spoke with a clear apologetic tone, crouching down to meet your eyes. Her eyes were piercing up close, an assortment of different brown and hazel tones that fit her perfectly. “Are you okay?”
You’d sent her a swift nod, using her extended arm to help assist you up. Her breathtaking eyes peered down to you ankle, searching for any sort of extra concern. You moved your ankle in circles, the pain dwindled a bit and you were ready to compete again. Alexia let out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding in, thankful she hadn’t hurt you for her idiotic attempt to stop your path to a goal to put the US back on top.  
“All good.” You explain, sending her an appreciative smile for helping you up and jogged backwards a bit to resume play. You’d understood the tackle wasn’t malicious or targeted, she was simply trying to win the game, you couldn’t blame her efforts as you would have done nearly the same. 
Throughout the rest of the match, you’d found yourself stationed within close distance of the midfielder, her feet always seemed to attract the ball from her teammates and her vision for the game sent you running yards to continue to track the ball down. She made her passes look effortless, slicing through defenders with ease and her dribbling technique to create space was incredible, you would have been in full awe of the brunette if you weren’t in the middle of a vital match. 
Luckily a penalty had been awarded to the United States and the US were now ahead 2-1 and you desperately begged for the final whistle to blow. Your wish came true not much longer and the US moved on to the next stage. Spain gave a valiant effort, exposing the weak parts of the US game which you were sure the opponents were watching. After a brief celebration, your legs seemingly moved without your own account, moving until you were inches away from the Spain number 11, the midfielder that had suffocated your thoughts nearly all game. Before you could really think, your arm peered out and tapped the midfielder on the shoulder. 
“Good game.” You told her when she turned to you. “Jersey swap?”
Her once focused eyes now red-rimmed as tears threaten to fall from her eyelashes. It broke your heart in an indescribable way and you’d just nearly met the girl 90 minutes ago, but there was something alluring about her, she was a future powerhouse of women’s football and there was a sort of fascination that bubbled in you about the brunette.
She nodded and quickly discarded her jersey and handed it to you, “Good game as well.” 
You couldn’t deny, Alexia Putellas was built by God himself, her features chiseled and muscles defined, you couldn’t help but stare for a few seconds before she put your jersey on, the heat certainly rising to your cheeks placing a warm blush across your face. 
“See you around Putellas.” You told her as you walked toward where your team stood in the middle of the pitch conversing with other members of the Spain team.
The celebrations rang through the changing room, everyone congratulating one another on a solid performance and another checked off box towards back-to-back world cup wins. The time difference in France had certainly caught up to you and the efforts of the match meant your sore limbs desperately needed relaxation, so you headed back towards the hotel, leaving your national teammates who you knew would be partying until the sun eventually came up the next day. You’d swiftly changed out of your new Spain jersey and settled for a casual grey sweatsuit combo. 
Entering the hotel, you made your way towards the elevator, but something, or someone, piqued your interest. The all too familiar girl you’d spent the last 90 minutes chasing around, now sat in the hotel bar. She was dressed in similar clothes as you, nursing a small glass of wine alone. You’d recognized the back of her hair immediately, you’d constantly been behind her most of the match as her speed was unrivaled. Her hair now escaped the bun it had during the game and cascaded along her back. She was beautiful in the bun, but something about her hair down made your heart skip a beat, she was breathtaking, even from the back. 
Once again, your legs drove you forward, tiredness forgotten, you were incredibly infatuated in the midfielder and you desperately wanted to know her, understand her. There was something unexplainable about her that you couldn’t pinpoint that drew you in. 
“Can I sit?” You asked timidly. The position you know found yourself in was sticky, you didn’t think about the fact that your country had just knocked hers out of the World Cup and there was a high possibility that she wanted nothing to do with you, the brutal obvious thoughts now entered your mind when she didn’t immediately answer. 
“I’m sorry, I’ll go.” You told her as you made your way to leave.
“No, stay. You can sit.” 
You turn your head at the familiar voice, settling in next to Alexia on the barstool to the right of her. 
“You don’t deserve the hate you get online you know.” She spoke, breaking the awkward silence. 
“Thank you, and if it’s any consolation, you and your country did play well today.” 
She simply nodded in agreeance, taking a slow slip of her red wine. You and Alexia fell into an easy conversation when you asked about her journey, and then when she asked you about yours. The talking flowed effortlessly and you slowly found the girl in front of you coming out of her shell. She was easy to talk to and even after experiencing the loss she did today, she was quite humorous. The laugh that fell from her lips was intoxicating and you slowly found yourself melting around the Spaniard with every passing second. 
During one of your national teammates stories where you described an amusing event at training during the group stage, the pads of her fingers briefly stroked your shoulder and even through your sweatshirt, you could feel her electric touch, something was growing between the two of you in that dimly lit hotel bar. 
Glancing down at your watch, you realized you’d spent nearly three hours in the bar, talking with Alexia. Your once tiredness completely vanished when you saw the girl, but now the weight of your activities of the day now hitting you like a truck and a small yawn escaped your lips unwillingly.
“You should probably get some sleep.” She whispered. “But here.” She tore off a piece of the napkin that held her wine glass and jotted down her number for you. “Text or call after the tournament, yeah?” 
“Of course, Alexia. Thank you for tonight.” You told her as you pulled yourself off the bar stool. “Good night Alexia.” 
You moved to leave the bar before you heard her voice again, “Wait.” 
As you turned back to the midfielder, she placed a soft kiss on your cheek, “Good night.”
After the World Cup, you’d made good on your promise and texted Alexia, blossoming a friendship with the Spaniard, and then with time, you found yourself in a committed relationship with Alexia. A long-distance relationship that relied heavily on communication, but every chance either of you got to visit, you both did so instantly. 
You watched Alexia cement her name in countless record books across Spain and she watched your game develop likewise. A powerhouse couple of sorts in women’s football, and you had fallen madly in love with the midfielder. But eventually, the hundreds of miles caught up to the two of you.
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You replay the moment in your head every single day. From the very second you wake up in the morning to the second your eyes close at night, the moment replays in your head like a broken record. Alexia’s voice on the other side of the phone, hundreds of miles away, begging you to not give up on her drilled into your brain. 
Every day that passed you thought about forming a line of contact, trying to take back the obvious mistake you’d made. But you had let her down, and the last memory of the Spaniard you had was her voice buzzing in her your head, pleading to give her one more try. The distance between the two of you ultimately became too much and you couldn’t handle it any longer, and you would not let Alexia throw her whole life away to move closer to you, her home was in Barcelona and yours was in the US. 
You still smell the traces of her scent on your bedsheets. You still remember her favorite songs, the way she’d sing them out loud in the shower thinking no one’s listening. You still remember the feel of her under your palms, every curve, every line. The Spaniard still infiltrated all of your thoughts, even after you thought you’d gotten over her. You still couldn’t get her out of your mind, even though you knew you were probably long gone from hers.
From then on, you’d thrown yourself full force into your game, working hours a day to perfect your game and make the 2023 World Cup roster. A numbness had settled into you some time after the breakup and it had never left. Your main focus was football, the game that had changed your entire life, and not necessarily because of the sport itself. The game in which you had the highest of highs and low lows, the game that had brought you Alexia, and the game that eventually teared you away from the girl. 
You’d watched her struggle to recover from her ACL tear and watched her proudly return back to the pitch like she had never left. You’d kept up with Alexia, peaking into a Barça match every so often, watching her excel on the pitch just like she did four years ago at the World Cup, now just more people appreciated her game and you couldn’t be happier for you her.
The 2023 World Cup had the same intense feeling as the 2019 World Cup, the pressure for the United States to win another star was at a new height and it was up to the squad to win at any cost necessary. You’d cemented yourself as a valuable member of the team and now felt the weight of what was at risk for this tournament. 
You knew Alexia was going to be at the tournament, but you tried to force it out of your mind and focus on the task ahead. But there was no way to avoid her, the anxiety that settled into your stomach thinking about the girl was uncontrollable. Your mind was supposed to be focused and ready, but instead you felt numb and blank. Physically you were in Australia, but your mind was elsewhere. 
The group stage was all a blur, you’d been simply going through the motions for longer than you could remember, trying to just survive. The media was even more ruthless this tournament, claiming the US had lost their passion for the game and condemned each and every national team member, it was ruthless and you simply couldn’t escape it, but your mind spewed the same things, except your thoughts were focused on the girl who hadn’t left you mind since you broke her heart. 
The game against Sweden was an eye-opener, a stalemate match that even after extra time was still even, forcing a penalty shoot-out. Your team swayed together uncontrollably as your heart pounded in your ears, tuning out the crowd and trying to focus on the penalties. 
Next up was you. You lined the ball up and did the same penalty kick routine you’d done every single time. You took a deep breath and kicked the ball. The ball cleared the goal post, missing the net entirely, sending the ball into the stands. You had missed the penalty, and Sweden capitalized. You’d let down your country. 
Unbeknownst to you, Alexia sat in hotel room watching the match. Her knee bounced anxiously as she tried not to bite her nails, a habit you desperately pleaded for the Spaniard to stop. The match had given her heart palpitations as she shakingly paced around the room when the match came down to penalties. She watched you take yours and miss terribly, and when the camera panned to you, her heart broke in a million little pieces.
 Her thumb hovering over your contact, wanting to extend herself to you again, to be a shoulder to cry on, she knew this pain all too well. But luckily, she knew where you would go.
Back at the stadium, the Sweden team celebrated and the USWNT left in despair. You want to scream and cry but you can’t, every time you want to show an emotion, your body shuts down, unable to get the numbness that has surrounded you all tournament out. You needed something to let go, to get rid of this agonizing feeling and aid your despair.
You’d made quick work of packing your belongings in the changing room, and escaped out the door as quickly as you could, getting on the team bus and locking your eyes out the side window, not allowing the tears to fall. 
Once back at the hotel, you fell behind your teammates and instead of turning right towards the elevator up to the hotel rooms, you took a left and entered the hotel bar. You’d asked the bartender for something strong, something to forget the last 90 minutes of football. 
 “I figured I’d find you here.” You knew her voice all too well, it sent a bone chilling shiver down your spine. “Can I sit?” 
As you turned towards the girl, even in the softly lit bar, you knew who it was. 
“Alexia.” You try to not let your voice betray your feelings because you know Alexia can read you like an open book. Being back in Alexia’s presence was more intoxicating than any drink the bartender could offer you. 
“This was a bad idea. I just wanted to…” What did Alexia want to do? In truth she wanted to kiss you, hold you and tell you how special you are and apologize a thousand times for letting the distance get in the way, she wanted to do and say so many things. She noticed your eyes were tired but still had the same fire she saw four years ago. 
“Please stay.” You said and reached out to grab her, not caring how desperate you sounded, you couldn’t help it. Alexia, the girl who you had tried to avoid like the plague the second you landed in Australia, stood right in front of you. Her hair was slightly longer and you met her eyes for the first time since the breakup. She sat next to you in silence, she’d never seen you so damaged, so frail.
“How are you… doing?” You asked, swallowing around another lump in your throat, trying to get your thoughts together as you look towards her nervously. 
“I’m okay.” She said, sending you a soft smile with the small quirk it always had, the smile that was ingrained in the back of your mind even though you wished it wasn’t. 
Your heart thuds in your chest, Alexia was mere inches away from you and you yearned to lean over and kiss her, but you knew you couldn’t. She most likely had moved on and found solace in someone else, someone who wasn’t you. 
You try not to look into Alexia’s eyes for too long, because you know that if you lock eyes, Alexia will see just how much you still love her. 
“It’s not your fault you know.” She said, but you couldn’t tell if she was speaking about the match or about the past relationship. But nonetheless, you saw the opportunity and took it, and the apology spilled out of you.
“I was scared. I was hurt by the distance and I couldn’t handle it any longer. I tried to get you back but I am so sorry Alexia.” You whisper brokenly, tears streaming down your cheeks gently. You choke on your own cry that builds in your throat, everything bubbling to the surface. 
“I am so sorry I ever let you go.” Your voice cracks on the last word, not knowing where this conversation would go from here, but it had to be said.
Before you can say anything more through tears, you feel Alexia stand up, a hand wrapping around your waist and warms lips on your neck. Your eyes close as you cry harder, emotions from the game combining with the unsettled emotions of your breakup all those months ago. Alexia tightened her hold around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.
You watch as something flashes across Alexia’s face and it takes your heart in a vice grip to see the girl so confused and hurt. It makes you think back to the phone call and if you’d been able to see Alexia’s face when you broke up with her, you didn’t think you’d be alive now. 
There were two broken hearts in the room, not just one.
Alexia takes one of your hands, holding it between the two of you, “If you leave again, I will not be able to survive.” 
Her words hit you like a train as the impact almost makes you fall over, but you take your combined hands and place them firmly over her heart. You close your eyes and focuses on the heartbeat under your palm.
“I never want to live without you ever again.” You tell her as you hold your breath with the last syllable as you finish. Alexia kisses the small tear rolling down your cheek, The move is gentle and genuine and you reach out and tug Alexia closer. 
Alexia lifts your head up to meet her eyes that are also brimming with tears, “I never want to live without you ever again.” 
Alexia is giving you the power to reach into her chest and rip her heart right out again, but she is trusting you won’t this time. She leans in once more and kisses your lips, the gesture so familiar as if no time has passed. 
Alexia manages the one sentence that she knows doesn’t need much explaining for you to know the meaning, and she weighs on it heavily to anchor the two of you. 
“Text or call after the tournament, yeah?” She asked as the corners of her mouth curved into a smile. 
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mysunshinetemptress · 3 months
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I love you
Alexia Putellas x sisters best friend reader
Warnings: fluff, slight angst,
Alexia hadn’t always liked you let alone love you, to her you where her little sisters annoying best friend who would do anything possible to annoy her daily. She would huff and roll her eyes every time you would bounce over and ask for her to watch a dance both yourself and Alba had just come up with, or slam her bedroom door in your face anytime you knocked, you where a constant pain back then.
But to Alba you were her best friend who had been there for her through her worst and best times. Alexia and Albas father had died when Alexia was 18 and Alba was 15 with you still being 14 and you had been Albas constant being there from the beginning of their worst nightmare until Alexia decided to shut you out. It was something you always brushed off stating it was understandable you weren’t family and Alexia simply wanted to mourn such a massive loss with her sister and mother in private much to Albas dismay who constantly stated she needed you and Alexia had no right to push you away in that manner, especially when she knew how much you loved her sister.
Alva had been there for just as much as you had for her especially when her sister had began to date her teammate Jenni Hermoso breaking your heart in the process. Alexia didn’t know of your feelings swearing Alba to secrecy but her constant show of affection towards Jenni at the Putellas family home saw you avoid the house much to the older girls delight.
Alexia didn’t think she could dislike you anymore until in her words you “tried to take Alba away from her home.” You had been accepted into the Paris Opera Ballet School at the age of 18, she had screamed at you much to your, Eli and Albas horror, once again you had left the Putellas house on the older girls wishes only this time you didn’t return, instead you said goodbye to your best friend and boarded a plane. A year later Alba flew out to you and never looked back instead she began flying around the globe with you as you began your professional Ballet career stating you need a reminder of home (her).
But now at the age of 25 you where heading home for the first time, you where taking a well deserved break before your next contract started up opting to travel home to spend time with family and friends.
That’s how Alexia found you relaxing on the couch in her family home “Y/n.” You turned looking at the eldest Putellas smiling softly “Hola Ale.” Alexia looked at you stunned “you…you are home.” You nodded “Sí for a while I have a break in my contract so I thought why not.” Alexia nodded unable to take her eyes off of you “well eh..it’s nice to see you.” You smiled brightly at her “it’s nice to see you too Ale.” Alexia let out a nervous laugh before rushing into the kitchen to find her mother as Alba trotted down the stairs “what was that.” You let out a huff “that was me realising I might still have feelings for your sister Al.” Alba smacked you laughing “dios mío, y/n you told me you where done with her the night you left.” You shook your head “I know but Al, I forgot how hot your sister was.” Alba through a pillow at you head as you laughed.
You spent nearly every day at the Putellas house like the old days only this time Alexia didn’t seem to care as much, maybe it was the fact she had her own place now but you often found her sitting watching movies with you and Alba or sitting at the dinner table having coffee in the morning. What blew your mind altogether was when she invited you on a night out with her teammates, “Alba will be there, but I just thought I would ask you know incase you wanted to meet them or just go out for the night.” You smiled happily nodding “I’d love to, eh I’ll be here at 7pm.” Alexia couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach “sounds good Osa.” You couldn’t help but blush at the nickname remembering back to when the word adesoso used to follow after it.
You had been panicking since 4pm on the phone to Alba “I don’t have clothes Al.” Alba huffed “yes you do amor, wear the black corset and trousers you know the leather ones and your boots you look hot in them.” You rolled your eyes “ok are you sure.” Alba rolled her eyes “you could wear a bin bag and Ale would think you are hot.” Three hours later you were stood outside the Putellas house nervously talking yourself up to ring the doorbell looking up suddenly when you head Alexia’s voice “Joder, eres preciosa.” You looked down as your face reddened “Gracias Ale.” You finally looked up staring at the older girl “wow Ale you look wow.” Alexia shook her head before grabbing your hand and pulling you in the door shouting out to Alba that you were here and ready to go.
Arriving at the club you scanned the room before catching eyes with Barcelonas best known defender “Mapi.” Maria turned on a dime laughing as she ran to scoop you up “Bebé pequeño.” You laughed at the nickname you kissed her cheek as she put you down not turning as you felt a hand on your back thinking it was Alba “how are you amor, what are you doing here, oh I have someone I want you to meet.” You laughed at Mapi’s excitement “Más despacio,Maria.” The hand left your back as Mapi dragged you towards the crowd “Mi Vida I have someone you have to meet.” You froze slightly at the sight of the tall Norwegian until she smiled brightly at you “Maria did you kidnap a ballerina.” Mapi looked confused “eh no, this is Y/n mi Bebé pequeño.” Ingrid shook her head “no you kidnapped one of the best Ballerinas in the world.” You laughed shaking your head before putting your hand out to shake Ingrid’s hand “Hola, I’m Y/n.” Ingrid looked surprised as you leaned into Mapi “how do you two know each other.” You both looked at each other and laughed “Ale and Alba.” Ingrid looked even more surprised before you began to explain “I grew up with Al, and then when I moved to Paris to study Alba followed me over a year later.” Ingrid looked stunned “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched you perform either live or on screen you are incredible.” You felt your cheeks reddening at her compliment before a hand grabbed your back again, once again assuming it was Alba you relaxed into their arms “My friends are actually trying to organise seeing you in Vienna.” Finally the voice behind you spoke causing you to stiffen “Vienna.” You turned looking at Alexia “sí, I leave in two weeks to begin rehearsals and then my next show is in Paris and then my agent said something about dancing in London.” Alexia felt her stomach drop “so when are you coming home.” You looked at Alexia confused “probably not for a while, why you aren’t going to miss me.” You laughed half heartedly but stopped at Alexia’s frowning features “of course I will.” You shook your head “you hate me.” Alexia sighed “I don’t hate you Osa, I’ve never hated you.” You wanted to push further but Alba grabbed your hand “Come on show off those moves we all know you’ve got.” You couldn’t help but look back at Alexia eyes softening as you looked at the frown spread across her face.
You had been dancing for hours getting lost in the moment with Alba like you both normally did, although this time you couldn’t help but look for Alexia sighing every time you noticed her talking to someone else before shaking your head and going back to dancing. You stiffened suddenly as an unknown hand wrapped around your waist before someone began speaking to you “Hola, guapa.” You turned looking at an unfamiliar face before smiling nervously “hola.” You turned looking for Alba before seeing her talking to a girl “it’s ok she’s with my friend.” You looked at the strange woman confused “ehh ok.” You quickly looked at the table of Barcelona players trying to catch someone’s eye but finding no one, you couldn’t help but squirm uncomfortably as the girls hand stayed on your waist squeezing it before you turned to Alba grabbing her hand “Al Por favor.” Alba simply brushed you off to busy batting her eyes at the girl she was flirting with “Al.” You tried again only to feel the random girl pull you towards her “hey why don’t we go get a drink.” You shook your head “no gracias.” But she wasn’t taking no for an answer as you put your hands on her shoulder trying to push her off you. You gasped quickly as you were pulled into a different pair of arms relaxing immediately as you took in Alexia’s perfume unable to stop the gasp you let out “Ale.” Alexia ignored you pulling you before she grabbed Alba “Al we are leaving.” Alba turned to argue before she caught your eyes and a worried expression spread across her face “what, what happened Y/n.” Alexia huffed “you would know if you took your head out of that girls ass and stopped flirting with her.” Alba huffed pulling her sister back towards her “why do you care.” Alexia shook her head “leave it Alba, I’m not doing this here.” Alba shook her head not taking that “no we are, you have hated Y/n since our friendship started, you haven’t made it a secret so don’t try to deny it.” Alexia huffed “I don’t hate her.” Alba cut her off “yes you do.” Alexia was getting angry “no I don’t, I love her.” Alba looked at her sister surprised “I love her, I’m in love with her.” You looked surprised at Alexia “you love me.” Alexia turned to you shocked “well….i…..ehm.” You grabbed the older girls face pulling her into a searing kiss “I’ve wanted to do that since I was four years old.” Alexia laughed kissing you again “let me take you home Osa.”
You groaned lightly turning to see Alexa’s relaxed features as sleep took over her body until she groaned at the sound of the knock on door until Eli pocked her head in “Gracias a dios, you grew a pair Ale.” You couldn’t help but laugh “hi Eli.” Eli smiled at you “Papa would be so happy.” Alexia looked at you smiling softly “I know, he told me if she wasn’t going to be his daughter in law he would disown me.” You laughed pulling the older girl into a kiss “slow down mi amor, you only admitted to your love to me yesterday.” Alexia sighed happily “yeah but I know this is forever.”
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sunnys-out · 3 months
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Alexia, mi reinita, mi amor, mi todo | Alexia Putellas x Reader
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A/N: Not me wanting to get this out still on Alexia's birthday like I'm turning an essay in at midnight. Ok honestly I would write a part two of this but that's only if people are interested. Again requests are closed for now.
So it's a little angsty, has a little hurt/comfort (I know this woman gives the best hugs let's be real), and some Alexia fluff.
Based on this prompt list: #4, #20
Warnings: Anxiety/panic attack symptoms
WC: 1860
Alexia had resolved it in herself that she would use whatever leverage she had to have you stay at Barcelona. She was not the type to use that card…she was not that kind of player…the type to threaten to leave to get what she wanted, but the thing she wanted was you. She had tried to speak with some of the staff about it but they were “conveniently busy”. With no success, she texts you “Voy a casa, te veo pronto, amor” (I’m going home, I’ll see you soon, love)  before driving over to your shared home.
Barcelona was dragging their feet with regards to your contract of whether you would be renewed or be traded to some other club, some other league, some other country. You had spent 4 years dedicated to Barcelona and had earned your spot in the midfield. The statistics you pulled throughout your career there were phenomenal, the kind that made your girlfriend proud to see because she was there from the beginning. So why was Barcelona playing a cat and mouse game with your livelihood?
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“Alexia, mi Reinita, mi amor, mi todo (my little queen, my love, my everything),
You know that I am better with my words written on paper than spoken to you. You still make me nervous when I look at you; I still blush as quickly as I did when we first met. I write this to you because I’m going to America to Bay FC…the deal has been done and the announcements will be out in a couple of weeks, but I wanted you to be the first to know. 
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The amount of times that Alexia had found you at that kitchen table with your head covered by your arms crying out your frustrations at another deal that went nowhere. She would never say a word and just quietly wrapped her arms around you and kissed the back of your head before laying hers on it. Once the crying stopped her hand would gently rub your back until eventually you began to move and pulled her into a hug with your head at her abdomen with a quick whisper of “let’s go to sleep”. Her only words would be “of course, cariño (dear)”.
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I know how you are mi amor (my love) but fighting the club is not worth it. It is hard to swallow the reality that the club that I grew up watching, grew up to play in, does not carry the same love and dedication I had for them…for me. You were one of the first people I met 4 years ago when I transferred from my club team in Mexico. It was a big move and you were there to just welcome me in, you knew immediately that I did not take change very well and was uncomfortable with everything. 
______________________________________________________________
Alexia, at some point, blocked some sports news outlets on your social media because of how overwhelming the “(y/n) Transfer Rumor” posts were getting for you. You did not want to leave Barcelona, you had made a home there with Alexia and the thought of leaving all of what you had terrified you. 
You could already hear the comments from the “fans” questioning your loyalty, why you couldn’t just confirm that you would be staying at Barça or leaving the team all together, why you were silent on the rumors? Alexia would be there with her head on your shoulder quietly holding you in the kitchen quieting the noises in your head with a simple kiss to the temple.
“Mi princesa, go sit down.. I’ll make dinner” she’d whisper into your hair as she led you to the table and made dinner while you watched with warmth at the woman before you. 
______________________________________________________________
I remember you would tease me about my accent when I spoke Spanish and said you would give me lessons if I made you a bag after you saw me crocheting mine on the bus to my first away game. I know that the Spanish lessons were just a way to spend time with me. You could have asked me to be with you at any point and I would have said yes. I remember you teaching me how to dance in our kitchen one night after saying that I was worried about making a fool out of myself at my brother’s wedding. I’m going to miss our 3 am dances we would do when I was pacing the kitchen stressed out of my mind on this transfer.
As you said, “Here I don’t want you to walk back and forth alone, just dance with me instead…I'm here”. I still remember the feeling of you under my palms; every curve, every line as I would take the lead of the dance and you would look at me calmly guiding my hands like how you did when you first taught me…yeah I’ll miss those quiet moments the most. 
______________________________________________________________
You had not gone to practice that morning due to stomach issues and you had to basically push Alexia out of the door so that she went to practice. 
“I’ll get some rest do not worry, mi Reinita” You say as she answers with a quick kiss.
She grabs her bags and gives another kiss pulling you in,“I’ll be home as soon as I'm done ok?”.
Alexia entered through the doorway of the shared home and saw several moving boxes littered on the floor. Confused, she looks for you as there is not the usual soft music that you play when you are doing chores and finds you wrapped in a blanket sound asleep on the couch.
Her bag is gently put to the ground as she rounds the corner of the couch. She sees the coffee table littered with papers and your phone with an unread message from her.
She quietly looms over the papers, seeing a copy of your original Barcelona contract, the proposal, the rejection to the proposal, another club offer and, finally, the letter to confirm intention to transfer. Your phone lights up with another notification; getting the attention of Alexia who notices the handwritten letter that remained unfinished under your phone. 
You were a semi - heavy sleeper so she picked up the letter and began to read as her soft smile appeared, fell and then reappeared.  The boxes made sense now, you were organizing your things ahead of time to leave. Seems that you received the news that morning, explaining why the staff were busy when Alexia tried her best to speak with them.
She looked down at your handwriting again…she’s so familiar with it as you have always littered her spaces with sticky notes of encouragement, love and everything in between. You always thought she had thrown them away but on your 2nd year anniversary she showed you the box where she had kept every single note that you had written to her. 
It didn’t matter to her; she kept all the ones that said “Hi Ale, can you get some milk?”, “Reinita, there is dinner in the fridge”, “I’m too lazy, I ordered pizza oh and I guess Patri is coming over?’ 
This letter no matter how long she will keep especially close to her.
Alexia sat at the other end of the couch and began to read the last bit of the letter.
______________________________________________________________
I know that I will be so far from you and that you will miss the things that I do. You were always a romantic like that mi amor (my love). That’s why I am going to leave you my favorite book, the one that I always read way too many times and have cried over just as much. The only thing that I ask is that you don’t open it until I am gone and you are missing me. Just saying not to is going to make you want to open the book even more but please listen to me on this one. :)
I don’t know what the fixtures of the NWSL are yet but I know that you will want to -
______________________________________________________________
You stir and stretch out your legs pushing Alexia in the process. The resistance pulled you from your sleep.
Alexia laughs softly as she pats your leg, “Sleep well, cariño (dear)?” 
You only nod as you rub the sleep from your eyes. Without a word, you sit up and look at Alexia who fiddles with the note that you had written. 
“I wish I was at least awake when you found out, amor (love)” you start as you shift over to be closer to her.
“Are you mad at me?” your head now lying on her shoulder.
Alexia looks, almost, offended at the comment as she turns to you.
“This is your decision, cariño, you know that I will support in whatever you do and wherever you go…I’m sad, yes, but seeing you living out your dreams has been a honor for me…so no I’m not mad solamente bien orgullosa de ti (only very proud of you)”.
She pulls you closer, her hand softly rubbing your arm as she hears the small sniffles coming from you.
“Promise me you’ll watch at least one game” you say softly.
Alexia laughs and kisses the top of your head, “Amor, I’ll watch every one”.
______________________________________________________________
The announcement came and went and so did you. You found yourself preparing for the inaugural season for Bay FC. The fans had taken a liking to you immediately and the management welcomed you with open arms. 
Alexia, remained in your shared home that now was quieter without your presence. The spaces that normally were filled with little posts were bare, the days for chores weren’t filled with your questionable music, and Alexia no longer needed to dance in the kitchen at 3 am.
After a particularly hard practice, Alexia returned home missing you more than usual. As she plopped down on the couch her eyes fell on your book that you left behind for her.
She remembered that you had asked her to not open it until you were gone to your new club.
Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg, it was the book that you read every year during the summer without fail. No matter how many times you read it, Alexia would see you tear up and close the book to compose yourself before continuing. 
She got the book and opened to the first page and seeing a small, sticky note,
“I miss you, mi reinita”.
Alexia flipped the page and found another one,
“You can text my mom for her soup recipe, she’d only give it to you”
A laugh escapes her as she continues through the book finding more and more of your notes that you had written out. She skips to the end and finds an older looking note.
“I love you, Alexia Putellas…” with the date of your 1st anniversary with Alexia.
And below with newer ink and dated the day that you had left.
“And I… I still love you, even after all of this time”.
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lovinpelova · 4 months
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mi capitana | a. putellas
summary; you love when alexia wears the captains armband for club & country - she knows it. [SMUT]
🎵 extravagant - lil durk
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alexia had rightfully earned the captaincy title for both spain and barcelona a while ago, pushing herself beyond the comfort zone and breaking past her limits to prove her worthiness as a leader. it was no secret that she was one of the greats in the women's game - almost like a female messi - so it just made sense for her to be named captain. when she first informed you she was going to lead spain as well as barcelona it took you a while to understand, being from england and still getting used to spanish after recently transferring to barcelona, but when it clicked in your mental translation you screamed in happiness as she smiled at your shared pride.
you and alexia had met just before the euros campaign kicked off, both of you suffering from long-term injuries made it work better when you were sat next to each other at the spain vs england game, the catalan devastated her team was kicked out after getting so far but happy when she saw how much it meant to you. even if it meant she were miserable for the rest of her life, she would do anything to see you happy, the same goes for you. you both made huge sacrifices for each other at some point and it made your relationship work, being there for each other in the highs and lows and supporting the other in their wins even it it meant you'd lost.
she did it for you during the euros, you did it for her during the world cup.
closer to two years together now, you couldn't be happier, living together in barcelona after well over a year enduring long distance. you had also both been insatiable in the physical touch department, having your partner within reach after going so long without them made it difficult to contain yourselves, so your teammates made efforts to get used to how touchy you and alexia are during club training and even team bonding nights. they believed if it meant they had two world-class players on their side for every match it was worth the disgustingly constant shows of pda.
you had just come off the pitch as a starter for vicky to make a difference in the 75th minute, sitting next to patri and mapi whilst watching the remaining time of barcelona's latest match against rosengard, currently 5-0 up and with martina getting ready to go on it looked like the game would be ending with a 6-0 victory. your eyes were focused solely on alexia and the armband she was wearing.
alexia knew you found everything she did attractive, she felt the same way about you, but for some reason she couldn't do anything that matched up to how you reacted when she wore a captains armband. the dominance that came with assigned leadership was something she most definitely had and judging by the way she was bossing people around, yelling at them on how to play or to pass whilst leading the team, she was fit for the role. when she was stood waiting for a corner to be taken she placed her hands on her hips to catch her breath momentarily, looking around to spot you basically drooling over the way her bicep was bulging out under the armband and the way her legs looked so toned in her shorts- don't even make me comment on how her shirt was skin-tight to show off her physique and toned abs.
"ay, deja de babear por la reina."
"i was not!"
you quickly retaliated after mapi nudged your side with her elbow, maintaining your defensive stature as she raised her eyebroe in response with patri humming inconvinced.
"sure you weren't y/n/n."
deciding to not make your case any worse you smacked them both lightly on their thighs as they chuckled at you, knowing thry were right. could you be blamed though? i mean, the woman is stunning.
the game ended in a 6-0 victory thanks to martina in injury time, just as you predicted, meaning you were still top of your table for the champions league and headed towards winning it again. the entire sub bench got up to make their rounds of the pitch after shaking hands with the rosengard players, alexia quickly finding you and stealing your drink cheekily with a kiss to the temple and mumbled thanks in spanish as you rolled your eyes playfully at her.
"caught you staring, mi amor."
"no clue what you're on about."
you took your bottle from her again and smiled softly as she smirked in disbelief of your denial, knowing the undeniable effect she had on you without the captains armband- nevermind with it. now that i mention it, she was wearing it right next to you, and as much as you wanted to focus on what she was saying you couldn't help but start to stare again now that it was inches away from you.
"mi amor, stop getting distracted."
alexia spoke softly whilst tilting your head up away from her bicep with her fingers under your chin, smiling down at the blush you wore after being caught staring once again. you swatted her hand away and ignored the chuckle she let out when yours wrapped around her clothed bicep to hold onto her whilst walking around the remainder of the pitch, your girlfriend not missing the way your fingers tensed every couple moments to feel how much more muscular her arm was with the armband tightly attached.
whilst you were all getting changed alexia sneakily packed the small piece of fabric into her kitbag and took it home, trying not to burst out into a cocky grin or obvious smirk on the way home when your hand dragged hers over to your inner thigh, not missing the way your legs would press together when she tightened her grip.
"i have a surprise for you babygirl."
alexia spoke excitedly whilst shutting the door behind her, quickly unzipping her back before rustling about for a couple moments and pulling something out before you could turn around to see it, the catalans eyes nodding over to your bedroom wordlessly as you made your way over there with her following close behind. she shut the door and pulled you back into her before you were too far for her liking, hugging you from behind and kissing up your neck slowly so her teeth could graze your earlobe teasingly. her breath fanned over your pulse point to make you shiver as she chuckled at you, her arms guiding you to the bed whilst she removed your clothes alongside her own.
"on your back, niña bonita."
you did as she instructed and immediately noticed the small piece of fabric in her hand as she brought it up beside her face and shook it teasingly, both of you grinning. alexia crawled on top of you and initiated a passionate kiss she knew would have you riled up in a couple minutes time, hands shamelessy roaming your body as you moaned into her mouth when she grazed her thumb over your sensitive breasts. her lips trailed down your neck and body sloppily as she unbuckled your bra expertly before tossing it behind her, teeth coming to the waistband of your underwear and dragging them all the way down your leg, leaving them by your feet on the bed whilst her lips kissed up your legs again.
"ale..."
you breathily moaned with your hands tangling into her hair, tugging lightly as she teased her tongue against your clit whilst dragging your legs to rest over her shoulders.
"give me your hands."
she demanded, smiling as you followed her command immediately. the striker pushed your wrists together by your stomach and moved the captains armband over them to essentially tie your hands together. you whined needily with your hips bucking into her mouth, alexia diving into your heat without hesitation as she flicked her tongue back and forth over your wanting clit before sucking it into her mouth to earn a moan from you. her hands trailed up and around your thighs with a firm grip to keep them open, tongue moving down to your entrance as she prodded it in teasingly and smirked at the whimper she received for her efforts.
"miràme."
your girlfriend mumbled after pulling away for a second, moving back to begin tongue-fucking you in all the right ways as you once again followed her command. her eyes were staring up into yours piercingly, earning another moan from you after you noticed how veiny her hands were around your quads.
"god, alexia."
she picked up the pace and moved one of her hands to rub two fingers over your clit after wetting them in your slick, wanting to drive you towards the edge as quickly as possible to see how fast she could get you off. your hips bucked in time to the thrusts of her tongue as she pushed you closer to the edge in record time, not missing the way you were digging your nails into the armband in a way that said the knowledge of it being anywhere near you was helping you get closer.
your high came out of nowhere and hit you like a brick, back arching as you tightened your legs around alexias head to keep her there whilst continuing to thrust your hips against her face so you knew she wouldn't be stopping anytime soon. after lasting for what felt like a lifetime your orgasm subsided and body relaxed, alexia lapping up everything you gave her before you were whining in overstimulation and attempting to softly kick her away. your girlfriends hands quickly removed the armband as she lovingly kissed all over your body, praising you to the heavens.
"mi niña buena. muy bueña para mi."
"mi capitana."
you mumbled without thinking, still feeling like you were floating after your orgasm as alexia chuckled in response.
"good?"
"demasiado buena."
alexia laughed with you before lying down with her arms wide open, signalling for you to lie on her chest as you gladly did so whilst waiting for the tingling in your legs to go away- you knew you were going to have a second round in a couple minutes time.
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mpileons · 2 months
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behind the goal posts | alexia putellas x reader
> chapter two
A/N: this is the first fic ive written in a while so bare w/ me as i get back into the motion of writing :) also construction criticism & suggestions are always welcome <3
+ this going to be a multi chapter story, please patient w me and ill try to make it worth your while :,)
Summary: Everyone knows Alexia Putellas. Star football player and the face of Barcelona. However, what they don’t know is that she is been in a secret relationship for years, and that relationship is slowly slipping out of her hands.
Word Count: 1.9K
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Chapter 1
A Year Ago —
It all started on a regular Wednesday, I was getting ready for my morning shift at Lever & Bloom. It was all very normal, I woke up extremely late as per usual, and had to rush out of my apartment complex without doing my hair or my makeup which was once again, per usual.
As 10am hit, I was getting into the motion of making drinks and chatting with customers. Although being a barista is quite a mundane job, I thoroughly enjoy every part of it, especially talking with the regulars and forming those relationships that never fail to bring a smile to my face. As I went to take my break, I saw a distinct blonde head of hair enter the cafe premises. Everytime she enters the cafe (which is very often) my intrigue seems to rise more and more. She seems to always come in at 11 on the dot, every weekday. Not that I’m keeping track or anything. Definitely not. Conveniently, as she goes to the counter I decide to save my break for later. Definitely not anything to do with her.
"One large ic-" The tall blonde starts to speak, but I'm quick to interrupt her. "A large iced americano with an extra shot of espresso, I know, it's coming right up," I say, a small smile creeping onto my face. I turn to see the same expression reflected on her face, a shared moment of understanding passing between us.
For some reason, I feel an impulse I can't ignore. With nervous yet hopeful determination, I grab a napkin and hastily scrawl down my number along with her order. With trembling hands, I slide the napkin across the counter, our fingers brushing for a fleeting moment, sending a jolt of electricity through me.
"Thanks," she murmurs, her voice soft and tinged with warmth as she takes the napkin. I watch her as she takes a seat by the window, her eyes fixed on her phone as she waits for her drink.
My heart starts to pound in my chest, anticipation mingling with apprehension. What if she doesn't text? What if I completely misread everything?
I push all the thoughts out of my head as I prepare her iced americano, my hands tremble slightly, betraying the calm facade I try to maintain around her. When it's ready, I take a deep breath and walk over to her table, setting the drink down with a shaky hand.
"Here you go," I say, my voice barely above a whisper, hoping she can't hear the rapid thumping of my heart that I'm sure is about to explode.
"Thanks again," she replies, flashing me a dazzling smile that sets my heart aflutter. And then, to my surprise and delight, she adds, "By the way, I'm Alexia."
The sound of her name sends a shiver down my spine, and I can't help but return the gesture. "Nice to meet you, Alexia. I'm Y/N," I say, hoping she can't hear the increasingly rapid thumping of my heart.
We exchange a few more words before I have to return to my duties behind the counter, but her presence lingers in my mind long after she leaves. And as the days turn into weeks and then months, we start to form somewhat of a routine that consists of Alexia coming to get coffee every weekday morning, some light-hearted flirting, then I constantly think about her until I see her the next day.
Present Day –
The soft chime of the café's door announces Alexia's arrival, as it does every weekday morning. My heart skips a beat at the sight of her, as it usually does, alongside a familiar pang of longing mixed with resentment tightening in my chest. I watch as Alexia approaches the counter, a radiant smile gracing her lips.
"Hey, Y/N," Alexia greets, her voice warm and inviting.
"Hey," my tone lacking its usual warmth. I start to busy myself with preparing Alexia's usual order, my movements stiff and mechanical. Whether Alexia is paying attention to these details or not is completely lost on me.
As I hand Alexia the cup, our fingers almost touch but Alexia pulls away quickly, further spiralling my conflicting emotions.
"Thanks," Alexia says with a tight smile.
I somehow manage to force a smile in return, but it feels hollow, fake. As Alexia takes her usual seat by the window, her attention is focused on her phone. The sight stirs a flicker of jealousy within me, a bitter unwanted reminder of the countless admirers vying for Alexia's attention.
The minutes tick by, each one stretching out into what seems like an eternity as I try to manage my emotions. I want to reach out to Alexia, to tell her how I am truly feeling, but the words stay stuck in my throat, still suffocated by the weight of the secret I have no choice but to keep.
As Alexia finishes her drink and prepares to leave, my resolve quickly crumbles. "Alexia, wait," I blurted out, cringing at how my voice is tinged with obvious desperation.
Alexia turns to me, concern flashing in her eyes. "Is everything okay babe?"
I start to hesitate, my heart pounding like an alarm in my chest. I try to open my mouth to speak, but the words elude me.
"Never mind," I murmur, forcing a weak smile. "Just... take care, okay?"
Alexia's brow furrows in confusion, but she nods, concern etched into her features. "You too, Y/N."
As Alexia leaves the café, I am left alone with my thoughts, the weight of secrecy pressing down on me like a suffocating blanket. I begin to wonder how much longer I can keep up the charade, how much longer I can pretend that everything is okay when it's anything but.
I return back to the counter with my heart pounding like a drum inside my chest and my thoughts racing. As the day drags on and my return back to Alexia and I’s shared apartment is approaching, I know something has to change. The weight of secrecy was slowly crushing me and if this goes on any longer, I do not know how much there will be left of our relationship to salvage, or if there will be anything left to salvage. Whether I had the courage to confront this and risk the comfort we had built is another story.
10 Months Ago —
My phone flashes with a message as I am sitting at my desk pouring over textbooks.
Alexia: Be ready at 6, dress comfortably.
As I went to respond, I couldn't hide the bright grin growing on my face. Ever since that day two months ago, Alexia and I had been texting nonstop, talking about anything, everything and all that's in between. I couldn't help but feel as if the universe had dropped a gift into my lap. Alexia was unbelievably attentive and rather charming, further adding to my ever growing feelings for her. As we kept talking nonstop, we found that we were completely different. She's a professional footballer, I do not know a singular thing about football. I study film with a minor in astronomy, she is not very well versed in either of those. However, we are similar in every aspect that matters. Although I couldn't shake the feeling that this was all too good to be true, she is undeniably attractive, charming, funny, the list goes on and on. Why would she settle for an overworked university student with a mundane part time job?
I push all those thoughts away for later as I start to get ready, considering this will be our first date, if it even is a date. I needed to be prepared, but not too prepared.
Hours pass and I am now in Alexia's car as music softly plays from the console and her hand is lightly resting on my thigh, as if it was always meant to be there.
“Pretty pleasee just tell me where we’re going” I turn to her with the biggest puppy dog eyes, which seem to not work as she just chuckles and shakes her head. “We’re almost there, just a little patience baby” She murmurs and kisses my hand as a way of apologising.
Alexia starts to put the car into park and quickly leaves the car to open my door, ever the gentlewoman. She intertwines her hand with mine as she leads me into a very familiar building. “Uhm Alexia, why are we at the astronomy club?” I look to her with a very confused frown as she looks to me with the softest smile that completely melts my heart, “I got us tickets to a private rooftop stargazing event hosted by a local astronomy club” She speaks with excitement lacing every word, she couldn't even get the words out before I jump into her arms and squeeze her into the tightest hug known to man as a way to try show a glimmer of the feelings taking over my heart due to her unexpected attentiveness. She just smiles at me and gently kisses my forehead as if I am the softest thing in the world, I think I will just melt into a puddle of gush right then and there because of all her actions.
She once again takes my hand as we ascend the stairs to the rooftop, my heart races with excitement and anticipation. The night sky stretches out above creating a vast canvas of twinkling stars and constellations.
Upon reaching the rooftop, we’re greeted by a cosy setup complete with blankets, pillows, and telescopes. Soft music plays in the background, a realisation hits me suddenly. This is the song that was playing when I gave Alexia my number two months ago. The pure amount of consideration, care and thought that Alexia put into this date is making my eyes water, Alexia takes notice of this and immediately comes to engulf me with a hug as she lightly peppers kisses on my head. How did I get so lucky?
She starts to lead me, according to her, to the prime stargazing spot. She snakes her hands around my waist as her chin rests in the crook between my shoulder and neck while I peer through the telescope. “Alexia, you need to see this!” I excitedly tell her but to my surprise she shakes her head “I’d rather stay here with you” I turn to her with the biggest grin as I kiss her cheek and tell her various stories about all the constellations.
As the night wears on, we find ourselves lost in each other's company, our laughter mingling with the soft strains of music and the rustle of the night. With each passing moment, my heart swells more and more with a sense of warmth and belonging, a feeling I had never imagined I could find in another person.
And as the night starts to draw to a close, Alexia leans in, her movements slow and deliberate, as if savouring every moment leading up to the kiss. As I was thinking that the anticipation was going to be the death of me, I felt the warmth of Alexia's breath against my skin as our lips meet in a tender embrace, the world falling away, leaving only the sensation of Alexia's lips against mine, incredibly soft and inviting. My fingers instinctively tangle in Alexia's hair, pulling her as close to me as humanly possible. In that fleeting moment, everything feels right in the world.
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daniswoso · 4 months
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“Ay dios mio.”
Alexia Putellas x Reader
Warnings: suggestive, alluded smut at the end, but no actually smut if that makes sense, hatred which turns out to be r and AP being dumbasses in love.
Summary: Maybe you don’t hate ‘La Reina’ as much as you thought you did.
You and Alexia had been rivals for as long as you could remember. She was snarky, often making snide remarks on the pitch, she was mean and often times her comments actually hurt your feelings. Though you'd never admit to that.
She pissed you off. Everything about her pissed you off. Her perfect eyes, her stupidly perfect face, her nice body, her ridiculously kind personality off the pitch, the way she'd stop and take pictures with fans even when she was in the biggest rush of her life. You hated just how perfect she was, how drop dead fucking gorgeous she was to you.
God, you had it bad for Alexia Putellas.
***
When the World Cup rolled around, you were ecstatic to have received a call up. And you had gladly accepted.
You felt like you were floating on air as you arrived in Australia. Then you found out you were doomed to share a room with her. Of all the people on the Spanish national team, it just had to be her, didn't it?
Your face scrunched in annoyance at the sight of your name next to Alexia's on the piece of paper the coach had given you. Why her of all people?
Alexia must have been thinking the same, as you saw her face scrunch in disgust, mumbling “Ay dios mio.” (Oh my God) Under her breath, in that stupidly perfect voice of her's. God you hated her. Well, not exactly her, but rather how much you liked her.
God, you really, really liked her.
***
Upon arriving at the room, Alexia having gone shortly before you, you saw Alexia outside. She appeared to be struggling with the keycard.
"Joder." (Fuck.) She mumbled.
"Need some help, la reina?" (The Queen.) You said sarcastically.
***
Alexia's pov.
"Need some help, la reina?" (The Queen.) Y/N said. You froze upon hearing the voice, grumbling before wordlessly passing the keycard to her and rolling your eyes.
God you hated how perfect she looked with that cocky grin on her face. The one she got whenever she sunk a goal into the back of Barca's net when she played against them.
"What's the matter, Putellas? Cat got your tongue, eh?" She teased. God you hated her. And how good she always managed to look, even jet lagged and tired. And how her teeth are so pearly white it's enough to make you swoon and how her stupidly bright eyes are so kind and- Oh.
This wasn't hate. This was a crush.
You grimaced, turning your head to the side and walking inside, hearing her grumble, "Supongo que sí." (I guess so) and walking in behind you.
***
Y/N'S POV.
What happened with Alexia outside threw you off, usually she would make a comment back, take the mick a little bit. But she hadn't. She sounded almost disappointed? But for what?
You decided to push it into the back of your mind, ignoring everything about 'La Reina' . God, you hated her. No you don't, you remind yourself, cringing when you realise that what you thought was hate that you had for Alexia could very well be... a crush.
Dios mio, you thought as you placed your bags down on the bed. Sighing heavily you wiped your forehead for sweat, grimacing when you realised you had been sweating since before you had even landed. You needed a shower.
As you turned to go to the shower, you see Alexia. In only her Barcelona training shorts and a sports bra. You couldn't stop your eyes wandering down to her impeccable abs.
She quirked an eyebrow, smirking smugly. "My eyes are up here, amiga." (Friend.) She said smugly, taking a step toward you as your eyes snapped up to hers.
"Hm. And what nice eyes they are." You muttered, trying to not let her hear, knowing she'd hang it over your head for months to come.
"Oh so my eyes are nice?" She chuckled, taking another step. Your eyes travelled back down to her abs.
"Maybe." You hummed, eyes meeting hers again as she lifts your chin with her index finger. She smirked.
"Is that a maybe?" She said, her eyes flicking down to your lips as she licks her own slightly. "Or is it a yes?" She stared into your eyes softly.  She smelled like her perfume. Her stupidly nice smelling perfume. And her breath smelled like mint, it was like a breath of chilled air when you felt her breath against your face.
"And what if it was a yes, La Reina?" You decided to bite, playing into Alexia's little teasing game. You smirked slightly, quirking an eyebrow.
"Then I might kiss you."
That was all it took before your lips were on hers, shoving your bags off your bed before straddling her hips and deepening the kiss, which she was more than happy to reciprocate, gripping your hips.
"Maybe I don't hate you." She breathed out as you part.
"Maybe I don't hate you either, Reina." You chuckled, making her smile.
"Shut up and kiss me."
"Okay."
******
A/N: enjoy!
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pinkyqil · 24 days
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Good news Bad news | a.Putellas x j.Hermoso
Hidden secrets series part 2
Mention of : Angst, comfort, mention of acl and pregnancy
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Alexia had never felt like this before in all her life.it felt like everything she worked for all fell apart. broken acl and on top of that finding out your having a baby after many failed procedures of her and jenni trying over and over again.
all she could do was lay on the couch rethinking her whole life purpose.Tears slowly streaming down her face.
She had recently been feeling unwell and decided to take a trip to the hospital. Thinking it had something to do with her acl. But no she was so wrong instead. after she got to the hospital explaining her symptoms to the doctor's.
they told her that she was 8 weeks pregnant.
the look of shock on her face was not missed by the nurses around her. Her and jenni had been trying for a really long time Their last try would be around the beginning of the year, we're they received a negative blood test. but here she was finding out that she's around 2 months pregnant.
The world really does surprise you at unexpected moments.and this was one of them for alexia. The only thing that was going through her mind at the moment,was how she supposed to tell jenni or anyone else. Stil deep in her thoughts she heard the nurses ask if she would like an ultrasound. all alexia could do was nod agreeing to do it.
After finishing her business at the hospital she decided to call her mami cause she's about to be a mami herself so why not call her own too let her know.
Alexia brought out her phone dialing the first number she saw since it belongs to her mom.it only needed to be rung twice for eli to pickup her phone."alexia what happened did you get hurt are you okay" her mother questioned ?. She couldn't replied as tears started slipping down on her already wet face. Eli could tell something was wrong, alexia never cried that much.
often keeping to herself and when she did it would be mostly happy tears, but eli couldn't bring herself to know what was happening has alexia sob became louder.
"bebe I'll need you to tell me what going if not I cannot help you". eli said delicately trying to clam her daughter with a soft tune.
"Are you hurt" eli asked.
"Not like that mami" alexia said still choking on tears.
"So what exactly happening xia" eli asked her again.
" i don't really know what to do mami,I felt sick and went to the hospital- alexia said before getting cut off by her mother
"Alexia Putellas Segura you just told me that you weren't hurt and now your telling me how you felt sick what honestly going on you have me really worried". She heard her mother say on the phone
"Just let me finish explaining", she said. eil could hear the crack in her voice and hummed letting alexia to continue.
"After going in the hospital and explained my symptom's to one of the nurses attending to me said that i was expecting i don't know what to do how I'm I suppose to let her know mami".
Eli was the only one who knew how the couple had been trying for the longest of time especially knowing how hard it was on her daughter and lover.
"oh ale it all going to be alright but you'll have to tell her at some point she also deserve to hear about it from you".eli told her daughter
A while later that she finished talking to her mom.
now home staring at jenni phone number deciding on how to break the news to her. but the panic in her body said otherwise.
Alexia had decided to send jenni a photo of the ultrasound pictures and the positive pregnancy test that she took.
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Message sent
Once she had sent the pictures she turned off her phone and decided to go too bed she couldn't deal with the emotions she was feeling at the moment.
mi amor 💕 : typing...
A/n: what's jenni's message to alexia gonna be ? How would she react too it and what does she plan on doing ??
p2 coming soon enjoy this small cliffhanger,ideas and questions about the series are always welcome and feel free to let me know what you think about it 🫶
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queen-of-reptiles · 2 months
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𝚂𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁
𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝚆𝙾
description: in which lucy bronze's younger sister is trying to hide her relationship with a fellow Barca player - but how long did they really think they could hide?
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mapi leon x bronze!reader
part one here
part two of the 'hidden' universe - mapi's version
ona batlle x putellas!reader here
disclaimer: this is all fiction do not take any of this seriously !
warnings: swearing, smut, MINORS DNI - cunnilingus, fingering, tit sucking - cuteness, fighting, slight angst between sisters, injury and assault
SMUT (ALMOST AT START)
MINORS DNI
18+
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y/n felt sick. Keira was staring her and Mapi down and the three were sat in silence as Bagheera finished the left overs of Mapi and y/n's food.
"I cannot believe this." Keira sighs, running a hand down over her hair.
"Look Keira I know." y/n sighs and Keira looks at her phone before shaking her head.
"I have got to get back." Keira sighs, checking her phone as she stands up. Mapi grabs the food and takes it to the kitchen, y/n following Keira to the door where they step outside.
y/n lets out a long sigh, placing her head in her hands and Keira brings her in for a hug, running her hand down y/n's back calmingly as the girl panicked.
"I can see how happy you are with her." Keira admits and y/n nods. "You've made a mess of it by lying but I understand why." Keira admits.
"I just love her Keira. So much." y/n admits and Keira sighs, not sure who y/n was talking about.
"I know kiddo. I know." Keira promises.
The two then pull away and Keira sends her a stern look, y/n nodding in understanding that she was going to have to tell Lucy over the next few days.
"You have to tell her. Before she finds out." Keira tells her and y/n nods.
Keira then kisses her cheek and sets on her way home, y/n walking back into the room, Mapi waiting awkwardly in the entryway as y/n finally gets back in.
"What are we going to do Maps?" y/n asks her as the blonde pulls her in for a tight hug.
"Have sex?" Mapi suggests. y/n sighs but can't help but laugh.
"Mapi!" y/n chides, shaking her head at her girlfriend's teen boy attitude.
"I'm serious. I think better after." Mapi states and y/n snorts shaking her head as she looks at the woman who grins. "We will figure it out mi amor, we always do." Mapi promises.
"Okay." y/n nods.
"We can have sex?" Mapi grins and y/n laughs, but she can see the turn in Mapi's eyes as the blonde happily grabs her head and guides their lips together.
The two meet in a tangle of breathy moans and invading tongues, Mapi's hands guiding themselves carefully around y/n's body, knowing exactly where to squeeze to draw out the groans she adored.
The two tumbled into the bedroom, Mapi's kisses pressing down y/n's neck, nipping at her collarbone which brings y/n's chest up for a moment as she gasps.
Mapi threw y/n's top over her shoulder, the blonde deciding to wrry about washing later, her lips instead tracing a patter down and toward y/n's nipples which had pebbled to attention.
Mapi's lips enclosed around the right nipple, sucking at it as her teeth supplied a small amount of pressure around the bud. y/n groaned and her hands buried into Mapi's hair.
Mapi's tongue flicked at y/n's nipple repeatedly, making sure that the sensitive gasps coming from y/n were frequent before switching to the left breast.
Mapi knee comes to meet the gap between y/n's thighs, y/n moans as Mapi places pressure against her, the Spaniard moving her knee to rub directly against y/n's clit.
A gasp falls from y/n's throat as Mapi pulls her pants and underwear from her, the blonde desperate to taste her lover which she wastes no time doing.
Mapi's tongue runs up between y/n's lips, tasting the wet arousal which coated her pussy and y/n lets out a moan as her head clouds over.
Mapi's mouth was always something y/n couldn't get over, her fingers, her tongue, she could make y/n feel things she never thought possible and make noises which were almost feral.
"Maps. Jesus." y/n groaned out as Mapi's tongue lapped at her seeping hole, the woman's hands gripping at her hips to keep her still.
It seemed laughable, how worried y/n was minutes ago about her sister finding out and the way the air was thick with sex now, the entire feel of the apartment had changed in moments.
y/n moaned out, Mapi's hands gripping harder as y/n's hands rested over Mapi's, the feeling of the woman's tongue between her walls making her gush as Mapi slowly pushed in and out with her tongue.
y/n whined the slowly developing knot in her stomach causing sweat to form on her forehead and rising chest. Mapi pulled her tongue from her, returning to circling her throbbing clit as she slid a hand from underneath y/n's.
Slowly Mapi continued her tongues strokes as a finger slowly poked in, pushing up between the spongey walls of y/n which practically sucked the digit inside.
Mapi moved her finger slowly, pushing a second one in, y/n moaning out as her head moved back. Mapi was slow with her movements, eyes watching y/n with dark arousal.
y/n moaned again, Mapi curing her fingers as she smiled against y/n's clit, letting her teeth graze the throbbing bud which caused y/n's chest to stutter.
Mapi continued her fingers slow, long stroking movements, and y/n's stomach spasmed, her orgasm washing over her before she could speak out.
No moans left her as her mouth remained open in shock, breaths escaping her as Mapi kept her fingers inside, knowing having them in her would help y/n as she worked her down.
Once y/n had regained a space of consciousness Mapi was next to her, watching her with a soft grin, lips red and plump as she stroked y/n's hair lovingly.
y/n leant up, pressing their lips together as her hand reached down towards Mapi's joggers, but the Spaniard stopped her with a gentle grip.
"No Mi Amor, just lay with me for now." Mapi said softly. y/n smiled leaning against Mapi's now bare shoulder, knowing the dirty blonde preferred bare skin on skin contact.
It was just another reason y/n loved her relationship with Mapi so much, they didn't both need to give and receive during sex, Mapi found eating her out just as satisfying as being eaten out.
y/n had never been with someone so attentive, so caring and someone who didn't need something in return for the pleasurable act she would commit.
"I love you Mapi." y/n said softly, hands linked together as she pressed a soft kiss against the tattoo on her neck.
"I love you too." Mapi promises her, before pressing a long kiss to her forehead.
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The next day, Mapi and y/n arrived to their final training session before Athletico, Lucy was getting out of her car with Keira and did a double take when she saw y/n and Mapi get out of the same car.
y/n ignored her sister, instead hugging Ona who sent her and Mapi a wide eyed look of shock as the three walked in together, Keira winced as Lucy's eyes narrowed.
"What the... why is y/n getting a lift with Mapi?" Lucy asked and Keira sighed shrugging.
Lucy pushed from Keira, following after the trio but furrowed her brows when she saw Mapi talking with Alexia, and y/n and Ona giggling at the lockers.
"So, why did you arrive with Mapi?" Lucy asks y/n sliding next to her.
"Oh, she picked me up this morning." y/n shrugged and tried not to wince as Keira let out a sigh. "Can I talk to you later?" y/n asked Lucy who nodded, worry in her eyes.
"Yeah, of course squirt." Lucy says, pressing a kiss to y/n's forehead before going to change. Keira sends y/n a nod and the girl sighs running out to training.
y/n felt as if she could hardly focus the next two hours. Her passes were sloppy, her movements sudden and late, because the only thing which had filled her body was guilt.
Mapi had noticed and as everyone trudged to lunch y/n found herself pulled into an empty physio room with her girlfriend watching her concerned.
"¿Qué te pasa bebé?" Mapi asks, hands cupping y/n's face.
What is the matter baby?
"I can't even look at her Maps. God, I feel sick." y/n admits softly, eyes filling with tears which instantly Mapi bent down to kiss away.
Just as the blonde's lips touched y/n's in the hope to calm her guilt the two were ripped apart, a blur of brown hair pushing Mapi back, two people shouting to pull her back.
"The fuck Leon!" Lucy shouts and y/n's heart could have stopped in that moment. Bile rose in her throat and fear shook her bones.
"Lucy." y/n tries, looking back at Ona and Keira who were trying to pull her away.
Lucy however pulled away from them and jumped at Mapi, anger clear on her face as she shoved the blonde harshly into the wall behind her.
Mapi tried to push back, though it was weakly done and y/n jumped in front of the blonde, fear gripping her as Lucy stopped her actions, shoulders tensed and jaw twitching.
"y/n move." Lucy ordered but y/n's head shook. "Move." Lucy demanded again.
"Luce, it wasn't what it looked like." y/n began and Lucy scoffed, Keira moving next to her.
"It looked like Leon was putting moves on my baby sister." Lucy huffs and y/n bites at her lip.
"Well, I'm her girlfriend so I think that's allowed." y/n says, biting the bullet as Lucy pauses, looking between the two.
"No." Lucy says and y/n pauses furrowing her brows.
"You can't just say no." y/n denies as Mapi comes to stand next to her.
"Yes I can." Lucy nods. "She's 28." Lucy adds.
"Same difference as you and Kei." y/n says and Lucy shakes her head.
"It's not the same." Lucy denies and y/n scoffs and she looks at Mapi. "So, you're with my sister, my baby sister? She's 22 fucking years old." Lucy rants at her.
"I have loved her the second I met her Lucia." Mapi denies and Lucy scoffs, throwing her hands up.
"How long have these hookups been happening?" Lucy demands angrily.
"We've been together nine months." y/n tells her calmly and Lucy's eyes widen.
"9 months?" She asks softly.
"Lucy. Look at how you reacted, how could I tell you?" y/n asks her.
Lucy however was looking at her hands, before looking over at Ona who clearly was not shocked, and she scoffed shaking her head as she turned on her heel.
"Luce." y/n tries but Lucy shakes her head.
"Don't." Lucy denies. "Just don't." She sighs but y/n follows her into the corridor.
"We have to talk about this Lucy." y/n tries and Lucy shakes her head.
"She's too old for you." Lucy says angrily.
"No I am not." Mapi denies.
"Stay out of this!" Lucy snaps at her. "You lied, you have hardly ever lied to me like this." Lucy says to her sister. "How can we talk about this?" She asks.
"Because I need you to understand." y/n tries.
"But I don't!" Lucy yells. "You're my baby sister and now all I know is that you have lied to me for what? For a series of hookups that won't last?" Lucy asks her sister.
"Lucia." Mapi warns, anger in her voice.
"She's fucking 22!" Lucy yells.
"Old enough to make her own decisions!" Mapi defends back.
"But I won't let her make the same mistakes!" Lucy shouts back and y/n can feel her heart hammering.
"But I haven't, not with Mapi." y/n promises her but Lucy just scoffs.
"Even so, you then lied about it." Lucy practically spits at her sister who lets out a small sob, tears in her eyes as she always hated fighting with Lucy. "Don't you dare cry." Lucy denies.
"Lucy please." y/n tries, though her voice had cracked.
"No you want to be an adult, you be one, you don't cry and look me in the eyes and tell me the 9 months worth of lies were worth it. That our trust was worth this." Lucy hisses.
y/n gulped, because it wasn't, nothing would ever be worth Lucy to her, but this Lucy, the overprotective and cruel angry Lucy, yes, Mapi was worth that.
"Yes, it was worth it." y/n says, eyes meeting Lucy's with a stone filled security that made Mapi take her hand and Lucy scoffs.
"You make me sick." Lucy denies and Keira sighs.
"Lucy." She chides just as Alexia rounds the corner, confusion in her eyes before she sees the current predicament and pauses.
"Are we all okay?" Alexia asks as Lucy scoffs and grabs her bag and walks toward the door. "Lucia?" Alexia asks.
But Lucy doesn't answer, she just leaves the front doors and everyone can hear her car drive off and y/n turns from Alexia, trying to get her breathing together.
"The worst part is over chica." Alexia says softly but y/n shakes her head.
"Oh no Alexia. It has only just begun." y/n warns her before she walks away, needing to cry in peace, because her sister had just left training half-way through because y/n had been selfish enough to break their relationship.
Though as she looked down at the doodle of biro from Mapi which had been yet to wash off from last night, she didn't regret it, only the outcome.
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The changing room of Barcelona was tense, everyone could feel it. The Bronze sister's hadn't looked at each other, Lucy had hardly spoke and they sat as far apart as possible.
The anger that Lucy had was clear and Alexia was stood next to y/n awkwardly, she had not realised the true extent of Lucy's anger when y/n had warned her.
Lucy had blanked her sister when she walked in, Mapi too for that matter. She kept her head down and when y/n tried to speak to her, Lucy simply moved past her.
Mapi and Ona were sharing worried looks, they had never seen y/n so tired and broken, her hands were shaking, her eyes were red. But as they moved into the tunnel to walk out after a warm up, both Spanish girls noticed the sisters.
They both rolled their shoulders back and Ingrid let out a small gasp of shock as they ignored their usual good-luck ritualistic handshake - this being the first time any of the Barcelona girls or Keira could remember they hadn't done it.
But both sister's looked dead on at the front and ignored their superstition of things going wrong if they didn't do it. They walked out, they shook hands, they got ready.
Lucy looked back at her younger sister, for just a moment, but as she saw her sunken sister anger overtook her when she noticed Mapi standing closer than necessary.
The whistle blew and everyone set off, Barcelona taking the lead minutes in due to Salma. Only a few more minutes in did y/n make her mark, slamming the ball into the back of the net.
Keira cheered wrapping her in a hug as the team surrounded her, patting her back, Lucy stayed away, not caring about the confused noises coming from the crowd at the lack of sisterly reaction.
Mapi grinned at y/n, patting her lower back as she ran back with a wink, for a second y/n forgot her fight with Lucy, just Mapi's smile making her grin, but as she turned her eyes caught Lucy's and her smile dropped.
The game continued for more minutes, half-time creeping up on them until it was only minutes away. That is when y/n heard the feared call of her name from Lucy.
The next thing she knew was that a hand had her ponytail bunched up, and she was being pulled to the ground. y/n let out a shout of shock as a force came down on her head.
The man over her was pushing himself closer, apologising for his rough hands in Spanish as he tried to beg her to love him. y/n shouted in fear as she pushed against him, his hand coming to slap her.
y/n's body sags unconscious as Mapi is the first over, everything happening so quickly as the Spaniard pulls the man off of her lover and shoves him violently away.
The guards finally do their job and manage to push the man down as Mapi and the Barcelona girls form a circle around y/n. Mapi has her on her own lap, running a hand through her hair as she whispers in Spanish.
Lucy pauses, a sick feeling in her stomach as the medics arrive, y/n only just coming too but refusing to let go of Mapi. Alexia tries to help but Mapi just warns her off with an angry glare.
"Don't leave me." y/n whispers to Mapi and the blonde presses a kiss to her forehead - not caring about who would see and if Lucy would care.
"I won't. I promise." Mapi says to her, y/n closing her eyes as the light hurt her head. Mapi followed the medics, Jonatan trying for a moment to keep her on but the blonde ignored him and just walked off, dealing with the consequences later in her mind.
Lucy's eyes followed her sister's body and Mapi until they were out of sight, Alexia sighed and placed a hand on Lucy's shoulder as the referee called for a five minute drinks break to settle the emotions.
"She'll be okay." Alexia promises Lucy.
"She asked for Mapi." Lucy says sadly. "And Mapi was already there." She adds.
"As far as she knows, you're not talking to her." Alexia tells Lucy who sighs and nods.
"I wasn't. And now I feel terrible." Lucy sighs as she takes a swig of her drink.
"After the game, just see her, that will make her happier." Alexia promises Lucy who nods. "She was frightened of telling you Lucia, because she loves you so much she didn't want to hurt you." Alexia explains.
"I know. I just can't believe she hid it for nine months." Lucy sighs.
"But you need to ask why did she hide it for nine months?" Alexia explains and Lucy pauses before sighing and rubbing a hand over her face.
"This is too deep for me, my head hurts." She sighs and Alexia chuckles as they are called back on pitch, but Lucy can't help but look back at the tunnel, worry in her heart.
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END of part two
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httpsdana · 1 month
Note
Hey! Have you thought about writing for hector fort.
Him and his girlfriend are cuddeling and she starts tracing his tattoo. Just a cute moment with him enjoying the feeling. You could make them talk about their future together or something.
Feel free to ignore!
Tattoos~Hector Fort
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*GIF isn't mine. credits to the owner*
I decided to write this hector fic then start with the series. I got a few ideas but I'm still not sure who it will be about. enjoy this <3
@hectorth wrote something similar before me go check it out too 🫶🏻🫶🏻
you can request from my prompt list
this is my master list
player/drivers I write for
Hector had a day off before going back to training, so he took this as a chance to sleep in while settling in the arms of his girlfriend. However, she had other plans. She was an early bird, waking up by 8 in the morning. If she tried to move, Hector would wake up, and that's the last thing she wanted to do.
She turned in Hector's arms, resting his head on her chest and an arm draped over her waist. Sitting there for a few moments she got bored quickly. If she tries to reach over to her phone Hector will wake up.
Subconsciously, her fingers started tracing the tattoo which she adored oh so much on Hector's arm. Her fingertips moving softly on the ink on his skin. The small gesture made Hector stir a bit in his sleep. She didn't stop though. Her fingertips kept dancing on his skin until he opened his eyes and looked up at her.
"mhm buenos dias amor" he mumbled, his voice deep from the slumber he woke up from
"good morning baby" she said back, pressing a small kiss in his curls.
"how long have you been awake, why didn't you wake me up?" he asked her, sitting up a bit.
"you needed this sleep I didn't wanna disturb" she ran one hand through his curls, the other one still on his tattoos
"don't be silly, wake me up next time" he said, resting his head back on her chest
"you know I'm gonna add a tattoo for you" he said. y/n smiled and looked down at hi
"will you?" she asked, failing to hide her huge smile
"of course, and when we have kids I'll add a tattoo for them too" he looked up at her with a smile
she slapped his head gently in a joking manner, trying to hide her blushed cheeks. He chuckled softly at her actions
"I see you already planned our future have you?" she asked with sarcasm, a smile still on her face
'of course, I even planned the names of our kids, and the wedding and our house. don't worry everything is planned out" he said
y/n laughed and shook her head at him.
"tell me your plans" she urged him to speak
"well first of all if we have a girl she'll be called Lucia Alexia Fort. how does that sound?" he looked up, an excited smile on his face. Her heart melted and the joy and excitement on his face. She leaned down and pecked his lips a few times
"I like it, Lucia is such a cute name, why Alexia though?" she asked
"well just because she's a girl doesn't mean she's not gonna be playing football. Alexia just a motivation for her to be like Alexia Putellas" he said. y/n pouted at his explanation, realizing how lucky she got with her boyfriend
"aww you're so cute...I assume the boy's middle name will be Lionel right?" she asked, Hector sat up immediately and nodded his head
"yes! I'm not sure about the first name but Lionel is definitely there" he said, a wide smile spread on his face
y/n sat there, admiring how passionately Hector spoke about their future together. He kept talking about their wedding and house, while she admired every single feature in his face
"i love you" she interrupted him, making him raise his eyebrows, blood rushing into his cheeks. He dropped down on her chest, hiding his red face from her. She giggled softly, kissing the top of his head
"i love you too" he mumbled into her chest, refusing to look up at her
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outsideratheart · 26 days
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Healing (Alexia Putellas x reader)
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A/N: This took me a lot longer to finish than I hoped but it’s done. Grab a drink and get comfy because it’s a long one, in fact I think it’s my longest fic to date.
The world had its questions and you were well aware of the headlines.
Y/N Y/L/N quits football.
Where is Y/N Y/L/N? Here's what we know.
The best in the world has vanished.
If you find Y/N tell her Sarina is looking for her.
The last twelve months had been the hardest in your life. You thought you could prepare for it, that it would easier because you knew it was coming but that wasn't the case. The day it happened was the day your heart broke and as you buried her you knew you were burying part of yourself too.
You left the world speculating as to why you didn't extend your contract with Lyon, why you never signed for another club and more importantly people were wondering where you had disappeared to.
Both your club and country team mates knew about your personal life and the tragedy that happened shortly after the euros. 
You missed football, of course you did, but you also needed to take time away to process what had happened. A return date was never set but then the world cup happened. You watched your team mates cry after losing to Spain and you couldn't help but feel partially responsible. The game might have ended differently if you had played.
A decision had been made. It was time to return to the pitch. You had offers before and after the euros. The only question is what teams would still want you? 
The sun was setting in Barcelona as the team finished up a late training session. Most of the players stayed behind to take advantage of the free food given they knew once they got home they wouldn't have the energy to cook themselves.
“Lucy your phone is ringing” Ona shouts over to where the English defender is filling her plate. 
“Who is it?” Lucy replies. 
Ona’s face floods with guilt. Almost as if she shouldn’t be looking at the phone. This sparks interest of those around her but no one more than Keira who sees the name on the screen. 
“Y/N” Lucy all but ran back to table after hearing Keira say your name “is everything ok? Where are you? Yes I’m with Lucy. Before I hand you over promise me that you’re ok? Good” 
Keira hands over the phone and watches Lucy’s face as she tries to figure out why you called and what you are talking about. 
“Yes there are people around me. Ok, I’ll ask” 
When you hang up the phone Lucy does as you ask or at least she makes the first step. 
“Alexia” Lucy walks around to where the captain is sat with Mapi and Ingrid “Who would I talk about signing a new player?”
“It’s not our job to recruit players but if you know something that might help the club then tell me and I will ask” Alexia wasn’t stupid. She heard your name and now Lucy was asking this. It wasn’t a coincidence. 
“I can’t. This is a sensitive subject” 
“Vale. Talk to Jona and if he thinks the player is right for the club then he can set up a meeting” 
Alexia left the training facility that night thinking of you. You were at the peak of your career, many people considered you the best in the world and if she is being honest she thought you would win the Balon d’Or, not her. That night Alexia watched your highlights for hours, even the ones in the games against her. You really were a once in a generation player which makes it that much harder for Alexia to understand why you walked off the pitch at Wembley and hadn’t been seen on one since. 
The next day at training the energy felt different. Lucy and Keira had a sense of happiness that their team mates hadn’t seen before. They would gather around Lucy’s phone but then hide it when somebody came close to them. 
Jona came walking into the gym with Xavi Puig right behind him and called over both Keira and Lucy. A couple of players watch the conversation unfold and tried their hardest to read their lips.
“Ingrid, what are they saying?” Mapi nudges her girlfriend.
“They’re talking about Y/N Y/L/N” Alexia was stretching on the floor playing no part in the eavesdropping.
“How do you know?” Ingrid asks her.
“She called Lucy yesterday and then Lucy talked to me about the club signing a new player. I can’t know for sure but that’s what I think is going on”
A couple of days later you landed in Barcelona, greeted by the warm weather and your two England team mates who kept a low key appearance in the arrivals hall. You stop when you are a meter away them. You didn’t know what to do, you hadn’t seen them in almost a year. 
“Come here” Lucy throws her arms around you followed by Keira.
“We’re so happy to see you Y/N. We really have missed you” 
You remain quiet as you walk to the car. Both of them fill you in on what the team is like and you make sure to remind them that you haven’t officially signed yet.
“Jona mentioned that. You want a trial training session?”
“It’s the right thing to do” you didn’t want any special treatment. You wanted to earn the right to play for the club and not just be handed the contract.
“You could have not played football for 5 years and still run rings round all of us” Lucy knows you the most having played with her at both club and country. You were too humble in her eyes so she took it upon herself to remind you of your greatness from time to time.
“I never said I haven’t played football. That has been the thing to get me through the past 10 months” you didn’t mean to be a downer, in fact you didn’t know what you were saying until it was too late.
“How are you doing?” Keira asks from the front seat and you see Lucy eyeing you up in rear view mirror.
“Some days are harder than others and no day has been easy. She would be happy that I’m here though. She always said that if I didn’t go back to England then she’d want us to come here”
You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name. 
“She always did hate the french winters” Lucy laughs at the memories she shared with your wife.
Your mind goes back to just a couple of years ago. Lyon were playing at home and the weather was awful. You saw Natalia in the crowd shivering but still she cheered you on, she always was your biggest fan. Come rain or shine, your girl was in the audience. You hated the thought of playing without her being in the crowd but you also knew she wouldn’t want to give up your career.
“Y/N” Keira gently nudged your knee. It was obvious that you were taking a trip down memory lane and she didn’t want to scare you.
“Huh” you quickly wiped away a tear “Oh we’re here” you grabbed your backpack and jumped out of the car leaving them in the front not knowing what to do.
“Let’s leave her be. She knows we are here and will come to us when she’s ready”
You were in awe as you walked the halls of Joan Camper. The things the team has achieved were that of greatness. It was a club that created legacys and you found yourself feeling something that you hadn’t in a long time; excitement.
Lucy and Keira lead you to the locker room just as they were instructed to. The rest of the team were already out of the field which was part of the plan. There hanging in a corner locker was a training kit for you. You didn’t expect it and you definitely didn’t expect to have been given your number.
“You did this?” You ask the pair.
“Salma did. The team knows you called Lucy and when Salma heard to locker room rumours of you joining she insisted. Between us she is a big fan of yours, bigger than Luce”
“Not possible” the defender joked.
The boots were fastened and you were ready, well almost ready. There was one thing you wasn’t prepared for. You looked down at your necklace. It was a simple gold chain that held two rings: yours and Talia’s.
“I can’t do it” you slumped down in defeat and bury your face in your hands.
“Hey” Lucy crouches down in front of you “they let us wear jewellery for training, you can keep them on”
You walked out onto the field and all eyes fell on you. You felt like a spectacle and you hated the attention. They didn’t know the current version of you, they had only met the old Y/N so you channel her and introduce yourself to them during the next drinks break.
“I know some of us have met as opponents but this is different. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, I hope I can keep up” you make a joke hoping to avoid the elephant in the room.
“We’ll see about that. I’m Alexia” She is the first person to you.
“Lovely to meet you Alexia” 
It’s hard to explain the feeling when you’re playing football. It’s as if you mind switches off whilst also been completely focused. It take a few attempts to get into the rhythm that is Barcelona football but you catch on quickly. It comes as no shock to the rest of the team that you play in complete sync with Lucy and Keira. The two of them even stay back at the end to work with you on some movements that you weren’t pleased with.
Some players go shower but a few stay behind, albeit out of sight, and watch you. 
“She has a gift” Alexia says to nobody in particular.
“Nobody has seen her in over a year and this is how she is playing. Look, she is running rings around them. How is that possible?” Patri adds.
“Does anybody know where she was?” Pina asks the small group.
“No but I could ask Ingrid or Caro to ask Ada. They are best friends and surely you would tell your best friend where you are going” Mapi forms a plan in her head, one that she will soon find out to be a bad idea.
“Do it” Alexia tells the defender “We are a family here and if she joins us then we have a right to know where she has been”
When Barcelona posted a photo of you signing a contract on their socials the world went crazy. The media were relentless and the fans were quick to show their support for you even though some were skeptical about your sudden reappearance and new team. 
You ignored them for the most part as they had no idea what had happened. You fit into the team almost right away and was enjoying every game with Barcelona. You scored on your debut and had been involved in a goal every game since. Months had passed and much to your surprise you had only been asked about the missing year once or twice. 
Caro refused to ask Ada about you and Ingrid only did when her girlfriend became obsessed with finding out the truth. Ada’s answer was simple ‘I won’t tell you and if she doesn’t want you to know then you should respect her wishes’.
You remained a mystery though and for the most part the team seemed to forget about your missing year. 
When the second international window came that is when things changed and you felt like you made a friend. Mapi still wasn’t representing her country so she reached out and asked if you wanted to meet up for a coffee. 
Anybody could easily be intimidated by the blonde but you liked her. She had this energy that made you know accepting her invite was a no brainer. That and you had questions of your own. 
“How did you know?”
Mapi places down a a small coffee in a glass; a cortado. 
“I asked Keira what you ordered”
A comfortable silence took over as the two of you sipped on your coffees. You found it funny the way Mapi looked at you then her coffee and back to you again. You recognised the signs; you were making her nervous. Why though you had no idea.
You decide to make the first move and you get straight to the point much to the defender’s surprise.
“I spoke with Ada”
This got her attention. You had your suspicions but the look on her face confirmed it. Still, she played along.
“That’s nice. You’re very close, no?” Mapi tried her best to look innocent but you weren’t having any of it and the look on your face told her that.
“She had an interesting conversation with Ingrid. Do you happen to know anything about this?”
She did. You know she did. 
“No” you got a sheepish look from Mapi and you wondered if she knew how unconvincing she was being.
“I think you did. I think you got Ingrid to ask Ada about me”
“Lo siento”
“Here’s the thing I don’t understand. I know you all want to know, you’ve been whispering about me for months yet not one of you has come to me and asked me directly. You have been going behind my back trying to dig up information about a time that I clearly don’t want to talk about”
Mapi dips her head. She truly thought that her and the team were been careful but obviously not. 
“Maria, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Would you want to talk about it with strangers when you barely talk to your best friends about it?”
The defender thinks about it for a moment. You had barely left Lucy and Keira’s side but she hadn’t really heard you talking, you were always listening to what they were saying and replying when necessary.
“It was bad wasn’t it?” She asks. 
“The worse year of my life” you confess and you can your throat close at the thought of the months in question.
“We are in jail?” 
You cannot help but chuckle at her words.
“No, I was not in jail”
“Did you kill somebody?”
“No, I did not kill anybody”
“So no crimes were committed?”
“Is that what you have all come up with? That I broke the law?” 
“Most of us, yes. Aitana think’s you were in the hospital because you were sick”
Her response came at the worst time possible. You spit your coffee out when you hear the midfielder’s suspicion. 
Technically she was right. You were in the hospital but you weren’t in the hospital.
“I wasn’t sick” 
“Clearly. Look at you, you’re huge. I mean you are big. No, you are strong”
“Calm down Mapi, I know what you mean. Thank you” 
The two of you stay in the cafe for another hour. You take this time just the two of you getting to know one another. You ask Mapi about her tattoos and she learn’s you have a few of your own which are hidden on your back. When she asks for their meaning you promise you will tell her the stories another time. 
You both walk to the metro station and by coincidence you end up of the same train. You get off before her and just before the door opens, Mapi grabs your hand.
“I’ll get them to stop. You don’t owe us an explanation, Y/N” 
“Thank you Maria” 
You’re not sure what the tattooed defender said but the whispers stopped or so you thought. They stopped whispering in front of you but little did you know the speculations were still going on behind your back. It is early in December when things come to a head and you snapped. 
“What do you mean she is staying Spain?” Alexia asked Salma. 
“That she is staying her in Barcelona. She said she might go to Valencia for a few days but that’s it” the forward wasn’t sure what to say or if she should have said anything at all.
“And you don’t think that is strange? This is woman who used to love England. The fans called her Queen of England, por dios. How can she be apart of this team if we know nothing about her. She is lying to us” Alexia ranted on and who knew how much longer she would have continued if not for Lucy interrupting her.
“Alexia, that is enough!” Lucy slams her fist on the locker before turning to her captain “She has come to this team and done nothing but good. She plays well for us and gives it her all on the pitch. Off it she makes the effort and yes sometimes she says no to things but isn’t that her right? You stand there as our captain but look at you, you’re nothing but a bully. I am ashamed to say i’m your team mate right now. That girl has been through hell these past couple of years and since coming here all you keep doing is reminding her of what has happened. You are obsessed with her. Look around, no one else is digging for information. No one is making her uncomfortable on a daily basis”
“She is lying to us. She won’t tell us where she was for over a year. She is hiding something and that isn’t fair on us” Alexia tried to defend her actions.
“Isn’t fair? Are you really that self centred? You have no right to talk about what is and is not fair. I don’t care if you are my captain, I won’t stand by you while you treat my best friend like she has done something wrong. You, Alexia, are a —“
“Lucy” The whole locker room turns upon hearing your voice “I have given up on Alexia, it’s time you do too”
“No! I won’t let her talk about you that way. You don’t deserve this”
“No I don’t but —“
“Y/N” Lucy begs you to let her fight you case.
“Walk away Lucy” 
A stare down takes place between you and Lucy. A few seconds later the defender grabs her stuff and leaves the room. To everyone else you are calm and collected but Keira recognises the look in your eye, you are furious.
“I want everyone to listen to me and listen good. My past is none of your business. To those who have let the obsession go, thank you. To those that haven’t” you look Alexia dead in the eye “I want nothing to do with you. I will remain civil on the pitch. Other than that I ask you to stay away from me. That’s if you can respect my wishes. I know it has been hard so far”
You quietly gather your things and try to ignore the multiple sets of eyes on you. With each second you can feel your chest getting tighter and you know it is only a matter second before you will no longer be able to control your breathing. You just needed to get out of there, away from prying eyes.
The hallway is the furthest you get. Your mind was filled of flashbacks, the moments that you tried so hard to bury. The past was not a pretty place, not the last year, but you know that it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down on you. 
“Y/N, are you ok?” Mapi and Ingrid are by your side, clearly the couple had left just after you.
“Natalia, she, she” 
Ingrid and Mapi shared a look, who was Natalia? They had never heard you mention a Natalia before. Both of them didn’t know what to do. Whilst you had become friends with the pair, they didn’t know you well enough to cope with this moment. 
Luckily for them Keira appears out of nowhere. The English woman clearly equipped with what to do.
“Get Lucy, now!” She whisper shouted and Ingrid goes running hoping to catch the defender before she leaves.
“Keira—Natalia”
“I know, I know. We can talk about her later if you want. Right now, I need to focus on me. Can you do that?” 
You nod your head as tears flow down your cheeks. 
“What happened?” Lucy rushes over to you.
“We found her on the floor. She kept talking about Natalia” 
“She told you?” Lucy asks shocked. She knew you wasn’t ready to tell them team but in a state of panic you might be let it slip.
“No. She only said her name” Mapi says. She couldn’t take her eyes off you. This wasn’t a panic attack, no she had seen one of those before. This was something much more intense.
A few minutes pass and Keira manages to keep your breathing under control but you’re still not ready to move. Lucy, Mapi and Ingrid stay close making sure to tell anyone who passes to keep moving.
“What is going on?” Alexia asks with concern, a concern that doesn’t reach Lucy in fact her asking is the worst thing she could have done.
“Get away from her” Lucy is up on her feet and pushing Alexia backwards. She would has fallen to the floor if not for the wall behind her “This is all your fault. You see this, you see her, this is what you have done to her”
“Lucy” you reach up and take her hand. The defender used her strength to pull you up. 
You, Lucy, Keira, Mapi and Ingrid walk towards the exit of the stadium.
“Y/N” Alexia’s voice is soft and it is only now that she realises she might have taken things too far.
You turn around to face the Catalonian. For the first time since arriving you make no effort to hide the pain you have felt on a daily basis.
“I want nothing to do with you Alexia”
A week had passed and Alexia started to worry about you more so than she wanted to let on. Lucy and Keira were visibly worried about you and kept an eye on you at all times. She was confused at how things got this bad. Yes, she knew that maybe things had been taken too far but you didn’t show rage, your energy radiated nothing. You were numb. The Barcelona captain had no idea how to make things right with you.
You wore a smile on your face in front of the cameras and fans but behind closed doors it’s liked you switched your emotions off. Alexia asked Mapi about you but it seemed that even her closest friend was on your side. The zaragozian and her girlfriend had become close with you since the incident and Alexia didn’t understand why.
One night she found herself knocking on Mapi’s door hoping to find out how things got so bad.
When the captain was let in there is an evident scowl on Ingrid’s face which Alexia did not expect. The Norwegian excuses herself stating that she needed to go to the supermarket.
“Mentiroso” Alexia says to herself.
“Watch it Alexia. She has her reasons” Mapi jumped to her girlfriend’s defence.
Mapi leads Alexia over to the kitchen table and gets a glass of water for the two of them.
“You’re here about Y/N, aren’t you?” her captain nods “I don’t know what to tell you. What happened in the locker room was bad Ale. We didn’t leave the stadium when you thought we did. Y/N used everything in her to make sure Lucy didn’t do something she would regret. I don’t know what happened during those months but whatever we think it is, it’s so much worse. I shouldn’t be telling you this but she kept mentioning Natalia, I don’t know who that is but I think something happened to her”
Alexia thought she felt guilty about the way things went down with the two of you but that failed in comparison to how she was feeling now. To think that you were grieving someone and her questions were it worse for you, well it made her feel ashamed. 
She knew that she hadn’t been the most welcoming. Yes, you and her got a long on the pitch and yes, you were ok at training but she hadn’t made the effort she should have to make you feel at home in Barcelona.
“I don’t know how to fix it Mapi. You know I like her, I think she is amazing—“
“You were her biggest fan” the blonde teased
“But what if I’ve ruined any chance for being friends with her? What if what I’ve done is undoable?” Alexia ignores Mapi comment seen as though she knows she cannot deny it.
Mapi was at a loss for words. She always has had her friend’s back but there was something about you which made her want to protect you and Alexia was someone that you needed protection from.
“You need to give her space Alexia. This week alone I have seen you walk towards her then walk away at least 6 times. Y/N even asked me why you were doing it. You’re making the girl feel uncomfortable” 
Alexia mentally scolded herself for her behaviour which in her defence she did not think anyone noticed. 
“So space?” Alexia asks.
“Space” Mapi confirmed.
Alexia found it hard at first because she wanted nothing more than to make things right with you but she did as suggested, she gave you space. She saw you start to come out of your shell a bit more as December rolled on. The day game before the Christmas break you were playing in Madrid and that is when Alexia heard you discussing your winter plans with Keira.
“Keira, that’s a sweet offer but I’m sure. I’m going to stay in Barcelona, it is my home now”
The Catalonian took a little comfort in knowing you had grown the love her city despite the hostile behaviour.
“Y/N, it’s Christmas. She would want you to be home for that” your friend asked.
“I don’t know if I can handle going back for Christmas. It would hurt too much”
It felt wrong for Alexia to eavesdrop on your conversation so she leaves out of respect.
“She wouldn’t want you to avoid England. The two of you spent years in France and both of you said coming home to England was your favourite thing to do”
“Keira, stop. It was our favourite thing. There is no more our, no us. It’s just me”
Keira could see your hands shaking. This is the first sign of your panic attack so she drops the subject. She does suggest you going away with them for new years and you said you would as long as it isn’t in the UK or France. 
The team had one last recovery session before the winter break and it’s safe to say when it was done everyone was more than happy to go home. You wished everyone a Merry Christmas and without knowing it, Alexia is included.
“Feliz Navidad Alexia, por tu y tu familia” 
“Gracias Y/N” 
To Alexia this was a gift in itself. Maybe you were opening up to idea of forgiving her. After that you quickly grab your stuff and run off to where Ingrid was waiting for you.
After that interaction, Alexia couldn’t stop thinking about you. She also thought she was hallucinating when she saw your name appear on her phone screen. In the rush of leaving the training facility you picked up the wrong bag, only realising when got home a few hours later and your shirt had an 11 on instead of a 7. You texted Alexia asking if you could meet up to get your stuff back. Alexia, at that point was already at her mother’s house so she sent you that address and told her mum that you were coming over.
You tried to ease your nervous as you drove to your captain’s mother’s house. It was going to be awkward, this much you knew but regardless of the place you and Alexia were in, you wanted to make a good impression on her family. 
The knock was gentle as you stop on the door step.
“Y/N, hola. Adelante”
You didn’t know that word meant but you put two and two together and guessing in meant come in so that is what you did. Eli leads you to the living room after telling Alba to go get her sister. Eli headed back into the kitchen and left you in the living room. You didn’t want to take a seat, it wasn’t that kind of visit so you looked around and a wall of photos gains your attention.
Alexia couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. She was adorable. Next to her stood her younger sister and behind her, her parents. You didn’t recognise the man so you assume Alexia’s father works away a lot as you have never seen him at a game.
“That’s Jaume, Alexia and Alba’s father” Your cheeks flush in embarrassment at being caught stooping.
“And your husband” you turn to face the woman “I haven’t seen him around, does he work in a different city?”
“Jaume passed away a little over ten years ago” 
She is a widow, like you. That is the first thing you thought. In that moment you had so many questions for her but this is a woman you had only just met. It’s not exactly the small talk she would be expecting. The two of you go quiet and you guess she is thinking about her lost love, just as you are thinking about yours.
Alexia comes downstairs, your bag in hand but stops at the door was upon seeing you in conversation with her mother. Alba nudges her forward but she doesn’t move. The two of them watch you.
“Does it ever get easier?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it.
The two sisters share a look. They had no idea what you were talking about and by their mother’s response, she didn’t either.
“Que?” As expected, the question catches Eli off guard.
“Living without the person who promised you forever” you turn to face the older woman with tears falling down your cheek.
“Oh Querida, come here” 
You feel comfort in her arms and for a brief few seconds you forget that she is a stranger. In this moment she is someone who understands your pain and that is more than enough for you. When you pull away you see Alexia and Alba, you feel extremely exposed.
“Hi. You must be Alba” you wipe the last of your tears and extend your hand towards the younger Putellas.
She swats away your hand and pulls you into a hug.
“So formal” Alba laughs “you’re even hotter in person” 
“Alba!” Both Eli and Alexia scold her.
“What? I’m being honest” 
“Thank you, I think. Is that mine?” You point the bad Alexia is holding.
“Yes. Sorry for the mix up” 
“No, no. It was my fault. I was running late for dinner with Ingrid. I left yours in the hall as I wasn’t sure where to put it”
Alexia stared at you almost as if frozen in place.
“Was I not suppose to do that? I can go get it for you”
“This is the most you’ve spoken to me since joining” Alexia was honest with what she was thinking.
“It must be the Christmas air” you laugh a little “speaking of, you three clearly have plans so I will leave you be” 
Eli tries to get you to stay but you can’t. The woman knew too much and even though shared the same pain, you knew it was only a matter of time before the pity eyes came. You also didn’t know how much the two sisters had heard.
Alexia asked and asked what the you and her mother were talking about but the woman refused to tell. The only answer Alexia got was to be careful with you and that not all is as it seems. It seemed to be enough for Alexia but she wasn’t giving up on you, not just yet.
She kept an eye on you over the Christmas break and just as you said you stayed in Barcelona. Alexia all but stalked your Instagram and even went as far as texting you some recommendations. You felt something towards the midfielder and it made you think that you might have been a little harsh on her. You made a mental reminder to speak to her once the break was over.
The first game back was away to Bilbao and it brought you the perfect opportunity to speak to Alexia as the two of you were roomed together. It was late by the time you got there so everyone went straight to their room. 
“Oh Y/N I don’t know what happened” Alexia says as she swiped the room key. 
“What are you — oh I see” 
There was only one bed, albeit a large double bed. 
You hadn’t shared a bed in almost a year and you wasn’t sure if you were ready for it. Now you had to find  a way to explain this to Alexia.
“I’ll sleep on the floor” Alexia suggests and even though you weren’t ready, you also knew you wasn’t going to let her do that.
“Alexia you are one of the most important players on the team. I cannot let you sleep on the floor. Take the bed, I’ll take the floor”
“Y/N, you are important too. You are our highest goal scorer. I am taking the floor, don’t argue with your captain”
She refused to take no for an answer and you hated it. When you came out the shower Alexia was on the floor and it looked awful. It was almost funny and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Don’t say anything. Bed” Alexia laughed along with you.
The room was dark except from the street lights then peaked through the curtains. Sleep wasn’t coming easy to you and by the sounds of tossing and turning, Alexia was struggling too. 
“Alexia, come sleep in the bed” The thought of having someone sleep next to you wasn’t something you necessarily wanted but Alexia sleeping on the floor wasn’t fair.
“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” 
There was something in her tone. She wasn’t talking about sharing the bed with a team mate, she was talking about sharing a bed in general. 
“She told you” Eli had to have told alexia about your conversation. 
“Who?” Alexia asked even though she knew you were talking about her mother. 
“Your mother. She told you about what I said”
“I asked but she didn’t tell me anything. I’m sorry that something happened to your friend” 
You sat up upon hearing her condolences. 
“My friend. What are you talking about?” 
Alexia, now sat up too, looked at you as if saying you know what I’m talking about.
“Natalia?” 
She said her name. Nobody had said her name. They knew it would cause too much pain. 
In that moment you are brought back to the last time someone said her name. It was the 5 November 2023 in a hospice not to far from your shared home in London. Natalia was the strongest woman you knew and no one would ever come close to her in your eyes. Yet just after Euros she told you that her time was coming, that the cancer was starting to win. You begged her to fight, you weren’t ready to lose her but you knew that you had been on borrowed time for many many years. The last person to say her name was a nurse as your wife took her final breath before she was called home.
“She was my wife” you could feel your nose twitch as a ball of emotion built in your throat. You knew the day was coming when you talked about her but you didn’t think it would come in Bilbao with Alexia now sitting at the foot of your bed.
The Catalonian knew she heard you correctly but she still sat in disbelief. She had no idea you were dating anyone let alone you were married. Alexia could do nothing but watch as you bury your head in your hand as your body racks with sobs. She wants to hug you, to hold you and to tell you to let it out but you weren’t that close. 
When you aggressively wipe your eyes you notice Alexia looking prettified and you cannot help but burst of into a fit of giggles.
“I’m going to go get Lucy or Keira or anyone else who isn’t me” your captain panics and makes a bee line for the door. She is stopped in her tracks as your hand grabs her wrist.
“You don’t have to”
She didn’t believe you and that was made obvious as her eyes dart back and forward between you and the door. 
“Isn’t this what you have been wanting? To know why I walked away” you pat the side of the bed next to you.
You saw the hesitation is Alexia’s eyes. In that moment she wanted to respect your boundaries and you appreciated that but for the first time in a while the thought of talking about Natalia didn’t make you feel like you would break. 
Once she sat down you turn to face you and you saw the look many people had given you. She felt sorry for you. 
“I didn’t know you were married” 
“Not many people did. We never hid anything. If you look you’ll see her in a lot of photos, she always supported me” you get comfy knowing that this is going to be a long conversation “I’m a private person and all I ever wanted to do was protect her” 
In that moment Alexia understood for she too was a private person. She knew that she was in the limelight but she still kept herself to herself off the pitch. 
“How did she—“ Alexia stopped talking as soon as she realised what she was about to ask “sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” 
“Leukemia” you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and counted to three “she first got it when she was six. We used to take the day off school to go to the hospital. She would call me her emotional support friend” you laugh as you remember the way she made you wear a badge “she won the battle only for it to come back when she was 16 then again at 28. The third battle was the hardest for her and it was the one she lost” 
Alexia caught the way you couldn’t look at her whilst you talked about the hardest times of your wife’s life. 
“She sounds like a strong woman” 
“Oh she was the strongest. She went through so much yet you never would have known it. Natalia had this heart that was big enough to like up the whole world. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. She supported me in the youths teams, was in the stands when I made my Arsenal debut and moved to France with me when I signed for Lyon. She said she’s followed me everywhere because she knew I’d be lost with her” 
When Alexia sees you laughing, she joins in too. 
“Things got bad just before the euros. I was so close to withdrawing but she begged me to go. She wanted to see me lift that trophy and I did, I did it for her. I didn’t know how bad it was until afterwards and I made the decision to be by her side. We did all the things on her bucket list. A couple of months later she couldn’t fight it anymore. Her strength was gone and the light was barely there. I was able to be by her side as she took her last breath” 
Alexia didn’t stop you as you got off the bed and made your way towards the window. She could tell by the way your hand went straight to your face that you were crying. 
“You wanted to know why I walked about?” You turned to face her and in that moment, knowing what she did, Alexia felt guilty. Guilty for reminding you of the loss you had suffered. 
“I walked away because I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. For so many years I played for her. I scored to see a smile on her face and I won my trophies so that I can give her my medals. I couldn’t return to Lyon without her and it felt wrong being in England” 
“Y/N I’m —“
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. You didn’t kill her, the cancer did” 
You hated it when people told you they were sorry for your loss. Why? Why are they sorry? You heard it so many times that it made you numb. 
Alexia could tell that you were feeling a lot right now. She wanted to be there if you wanted to talk more about Natalia but she also knew the importance of changing the subject when it’s needed. 
“Can I ask you a question?” She looked at you with a sincere gaze.
“You can. Is it about Na—“ 
Alexia shakes her head.
“Why Barcelona?” 
It is a question that she had been desperate to know. You have now told her why you weren’t ready to go back to Lyon but plenty of teams would have offered you a contract if you announced your return.
“I said it wasn’t about her but turns out it was. Talia loved Spain and Barcelona was her favourite place. I honestly thought I would retire at Lyon but she always said that if she could pick a team I play for them she would choose Barcelona. When I decided to come back, it felt right to sign for Barcelona. Also, Lucy and Keira are here. As you have seen, I have depended on them quite a bit and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy so having someone who knew made everything easier”
You could see Alexia processing what you had told her. 
“I’m happy you don’t play for Lyon anymore”
“Yeah, you might be able to beat them now”
Alexia stared you down and you wondered what her next move would be. Turns out you didn’t have to wait long because a pillow soon smacked you in the face.
You both burst into laughter when the pillow fight turns competitive.
“We really should be getting some sleep” Alexia says as she stands.
You took a second to think. 
“You can sleep in the bed Alexia. I won’t freak out you know”
“Y/N I can’t. Not now”
“Oh stop. I’m not some fragile little doll that will break if she shares a bed with someone. Now get in bed” 
You pull the duvet back and pat the bed. It is only when Alexia gets in that you realise she is on your side and you are on Talia’s.
“You know this is my side of the bed” Alexia says as she gets comfy.
You had your reasons for sleeping on that side. You want to be closest to the door in case someone broke in. You wonder if Alexia has a reason.
“Got to make sure no one comes in and kidnaps you. Buenas noches Y/N” 
You fall asleep that night with ease. You no longer feel the weight of keeping your emotions at bay and having Alexia knowing the truth makes you feel at ease around her for the first time since you joined the club.
From that day on things were different between you and Alexia. You found yourself spending more time with her than you did with Lucy and Keira. The two of them found it strange but didn’t question it. Whilst the defender was still very much protective over you, she did see a change in her captain which lead to her giving her the benefit of the doubt. 
Life in Barcelona was finally what you imagined. Even in January the sun was shining and the sky was blue, unlike the weather you have been used to. The pain in your heart was still there but for the first time in a long whilst you felt happy or at least the closest thing to it that you could feel. Alexia has invited you to family dinner which happened after every other home game. Her mother and sister made you feel welcome. You had become rather close with Eli as she would often reach out to talk to you and check in with you. She didn’t need to say much, the fact that she could understand was more than enough. 
Alba was quite the character and there was never a dull moment with her. She would relentless tease her sister and it had you holding stomach with laughter.
You had received some calls that made you think about a few things. You thought about talking to Lucy and Keira about it but you knew their decision would be biased so you confided in Alexia one night as the two of you walked Nala along Barceloneta.  She helped you work though the feelings that the question brought up and by the the time you arrived back to your apartment, which you learnt was in the building opposite to hers, you knew what your decision would be. 
During the game against Atleti there was a certain Dutchwoman in attendance. It was the second to last game before the Nations league semi final, a game that England has got to by the skin of their teeth. Barcelona came away with a 2-0 win and a lot of the players stayed out on the pitch afterwards to greet the fans that came to support them.
Sarina stood near the locker room and praised the team as they entered. 
“Are you here for Lucy and Keira?” Aitana asked as she walked down the hall.
Behind her walked the two English women, along with Alexia. The latter knew to expect her, it made sense for her to come see you in person. The other two clearly had no idea that their national team coach was coming.
“She isn’t here for them” 
Alexia’s words cause Lucy and Keira’s heads to turn in surprise. 
“Y/N’s still out on the pitch. She is playing with Irene’s son Matteo, shall I go get her?”
“No, I can wait” 
Just as three of them were about to enter they hear your voice followed by a child’s laughter. You walked down the tunnel with Irene and her little boy. Sarina saw just how happy you were and for a brief moment she regretted coming. She questioned whether or not this is what is best for you.
“Gaffa” you saw the look on your team mates faces and chuckled. Surely they knew it was only a matter of time before Sarina came knocking “Let me get showered quickly and we will go” 
“But we’re going out tonight. It’s team night” Aitana sulked.
“I’ll meet you guys there” 
Alexia and you shared a look. She knew what this conversation was going to be about and she was pretty sure she knew what the outcome would be and she was worried. You squeezed her shoulder and smiled before going into the locker room.
It was over 3 hours later that you finally enter the restaurant that the team were eating at. 
All heads turned to you as you walked through the door. The seat reserved for you happened to be next to Alexia which you don’t think was an accident. Lucy and Keira were sat opposite you and you see the look of suspense in their eyes. They hadn’t officially been told what you and Sarina were talking about but they had very good guesses. 
The rest of the team were having their own conversations and you didn’t want to make a scene so you nodded your head and that was enough confirmation for them.
“Yes!!” Lucy stood up suddenly and slammed her hands on the table.
“Holy fuck. Lucia, sit down”  
Lucy does as her told.
“Our captain is back” Keira said to herself. 
You tried your best to include yourself in the conversations around you but your mind kept wandering. You found yourself staring off into the distance. It is only when you feel a gentle hand on your thigh do you realise just how spaced out you were.
“Is everything ok? Did your coach say something because if she did then—“
“Stand down Ale” Alexia’s eye soften at the nickname. It wasn’t a new one for her but you had only just started calling her it and she loved it “I’m just thinking is all. What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t have a place in that team anymore?” You lean into her and whisper.
“Y/N, they are your team. Yes you took some time away but you lead them for a long time and you told me they knew your reasons. It might take some time to get back into things but you will soon be back to how you were before. Besides if things go well for both of us then we will have a World Cup rematch on our hands and I want to see what might have happened if you played in the summer” 
Oh you didn’t think about that. You hadn’t given your upcoming opponents a second thought. Alexia was right. If England beat France then they will face Spain in the national league final. 
You thought there might be some awkwardness when you walked through the doors at the England camp but you couldn’t have been more wrong. Each player welcomed you with open arms and the players that you didn’t know as much treated you like everyone else did.
There were a few moments when you got pulled aside by Sarina for what she called her mental health checks. She promised that nothing said between you would be told to anyone else and you chose to believe her. You were honest about how heavy the shirt felt when it had the England badge on and you told her of the nerves you were feeling about playing for your country again.
Alexia had kept texting you to check in and for the most part you told her the truth. It was the day before the match when you got overwhelmed and instead of lying, you chose to ignore her. You knew it wasn’t fair but wanted to stay focused. You could bury your feelings for 24 hours. Alexia on the other had wasn’t going to give up on you.
“Alexia” Jenni nudged her friends leg “Earth to Alexia” 
The woman in question had her eyes glued to the her phone as you sent you yet another message.
“What do you want!” Alexia snaps.
“Hey, don’t snap at me. Who you texting? Is it a girl?” Jenni peaked over her shoulder.
“No” Alexia pulled her phone closer to her chest “It’s Y/N”
“Y/N Y/L/N is a girl last time I checked” Jenni couldn’t help but tease.
“She but I don’t like her like that, well I do. Wait! I don’t” Alexia slumps down in her seat  “Oh Jenni, I don’t know how I feel”
Jenni hasn’t seen her friend like this in a long while. Normally Alexia knows what wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. This though is different. It’s almost like she knows what she wants but she is hesitating and Alexia doesn’t hesitate.
“It’s ok not to know but something is clearly bothering you. What is it?” 
“She is ignoring me”
“Last time I saw you you told me she didn’t want anything to do with you”
So much had changed since then and she didn’t know how to explain it. In the end she told her everything she could without going into the finer details. Alexia confesses her feelings and explains that she cannot get a hold of you and that none on your team mates were answering either.
“Alexia, I may not know why she stopped playing football but I saw the way she played, she loves the sport. Her playing for England again is a big deal. Everyone is talking about her press conference she did this morning, it’s all over social media” 
Alexia wasn’t aware of a press conference. She never goes on social media the day before a match because it is quite often a distraction. Jenni picks up on her friend’s obliviousness and gives alexia her phone so she can see what is being said.
Jenni was right. You are everywhere. 
Y/N Y/L/N makes her return but what does it mean? Why now?
Sarina Weigman confirm Y/N is the captain of this team despite turning her back on them.
Beth Mead ruled out for Semi final, should be back for final if England are successful.
World Cup rematch? Y/N says that Spain wouldn’t have won if she was playing.
Alexia read headline after headline, article after article. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed so she couldn’t imagine what you must have been feeling. The last headline made the Catalonian laugh because she too had thought about what the outcome might have been if you were playing.
“I think the last one is a stretch” Jenni mumbles.
“We will never know” Alexia is ever more determined to get a hold of you. Just as she was about to call you again, a message comes through.
Hi. Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been a lot. Thank you for checking in on me Alexia, I promise you I’m ok. Good luck in your match tomorrow.
“She’s ok” Alexia tells Jenni as if the forward was the one who was worried about you.
The next day you wake up and are ridden with nerves. It’s not a familiar feeling and you know that you need to calm down before the game or things will end badly. 
Despite protests from your team mates, you will start the game on the bench. It’s the right decision and you make sure to tell Sarina just that. Whilst the team’s recent performances have been spotty to say the least, you refuse to walk back in like nothing had changed. You know you need to earn your place on the pitch with the lionesses.
Spain’s game has an early kick off and finishes just after yours starts. The team get back to the hotel and have organised to watch it the hotel bar. Much to Alexia’s dismay she is called for Media seen as though Spain won and have qualified for the Olympics. 
When she finally joins the team she knows that the first half is over but that’s it.
“What’s the score?” She asks anyone who is listening.
“2–0” Ona says.
“That’s—“ Alexia is cut off before she can finish her sentence.
“To Germany” Jenni knows that Alexia would have wanted England to win if for no other reason than you “Y/N is going on for Toone” 
She cannot help the smile that tugs at her lips as your number goes on the subs board. 
The world watches as Mary runs over to you and gives you the band.
“Welcome back skipper” Mary pushes the band up your arm before you can stop her because she know’s that is what you’ll do. She was there in the captain’s meeting when you told Sarina that you didn’t deserve the captaincy.
“Game on, Maz” 
It felt right being on the pitch and wearing the three lions crest. You allow yourself to take in your return but only for a couple of seconds before you turn your attention to the game and the challenge that you face. 3 goals was a lot to ask for when Germany are playing as good as they are. It wouldn’t be easy and it would take everything you had but you never shied away from a challenge and you wasn’t about to start now.
After about ten minutes you found your rhythm and England were playing the type of football they are known for. It doesn’t take long for LJ to make a run and dance around the opposition. You have faith in her but follow her anyways in case she loses the ball. She doesn’t but Frohms does save her shot, she doesn’t save your rebound though.
“Get the ball” You shout to the Chelsea player. 
When the match restarts, the lionesses are on the hunt. Shot after shot is taken but somehow the ball stays out the net. England get a corner in the 80 minute and you’re lurking on the edge of the box, ready to make your run. Popp is the one marking you because she has studied you new way of play since joining Barcelona. Chloe’s corner is pin point and no amount of research in the world could stop you from getting the second goal and tying the game.
Alexia finds herself up on her feet with Ona and a couple of your team mates when you get your brace.
“Vamos Y/N” she says.
“You do realise that we will face them if they win” Misa reminds her.
“Right now, I don’t care. She deserves this and I’m celebrating my team mate” Alexia didn’t care if she might face you in the final.
“She told you” Aitana whispers as she pulls her captain down to the sofa “That is why she doesn’t hate you anymore and why you’ve stopped interrogating her”
Alexia does nothing but nod. Her fellow midfielder didn’t need to know anything else and she doesn’t ask for it either. She accepts that the reason must be valid if Alexia has dropped her questions.
There are 4 minutes announced of stoppage time. 
When you look up the the score board and see the number you get flashbacks on the euros final. You have been in this position before and came out victorious. Today was going to be no different. 
It was huge mistake by Germany when Gwinn takes down Hemp about a meter outside the box.
In the past you have found yourself stood over the ball with Beth but this game it’s Alex who stands beside you.
With her hand over her mouth she gives you strict instructions.
“You’re taking it” 
It’s not a question and you don’t argue.
“You have saved us tonight, now get your hattrick”
The amount of faith Alex had in you did wonders but it didn’t settle every nerve running through your body. Free kicks were your specialty, this wasn’t nothing new and the pressure was a familiar feeling. 
As soon as you strike the ball you know it’s going in. It’s a hard feeling to describe but many call it shooters instinct, it had never been wrong and it wasn’t now. The ball floated over the wall and went in the further part of the top corner. The shot was unsaveable. You ran over to the bench, more specifically to Sarina, to celebrate with the woman who gave you space and welcomed you back with open arms. 
“It’s like you never left”
Her words caught you off guard. For a brief moment you agreed with her but you got hit by the feeling of grief, you looked towards the family section and there was no one supporting you. Maybe some things hadn’t changed but a lot certainly has. When the full time whistle was blown your team mates ran towards you, all of the congratulating you on your performance and your first game back.
It was a weird kind of celebrations that night. The team was split, half wanted to celebrate getting through the final and the other half knew the job wasn’t done, they knew that the biggest task was yet to be faced. Spain had beaten them before and on the greatest stage, the UEFA national league final could either repeat history and England could rewrite it.
The team travelled to Madrid that night, only hours after the game. Upon arrival almost everyone went to their rooms but not you. You knew sleep wouldn’t come easy so you decided to wander the streets of Madrid. It had become a habit of yours, you would walk around and people watch. Every human had their own story to tell and it made you forget about yours.
You had no destination planned yet you found yourself stopping outside a hotel, the one you know from your text messages with Alexia, was the one the Spain team was staying at. 
A lot of feelings were running through you and you saw this as the universe’s sign that maybe you should talk about them. You have confided in Alexia since Sarina first reached out to you, she knew more than anyone how you really felt about returning and you talked about this very moment, the hours after your first game when the past is very much present in your mind. You remember the words she told you ‘when that happens you call me’ so that is what you do or at least that is what you go to do.
“Y/N” you hear a familiar voice say. You turn to see Jenni, Irene, Laia and Misa walking towards you.
“Hi guys” your voice is quiet, shy almost and you cannot help the way your eyes scan for Alexia knowing full well that these are the people she spends the most time with.
“What are you doing here?” Misa asks you. The two of you hadn’t formally been introduced but you had scored a brace against her in the El Classico.
“I’m—“ 
“Here for Alexia” Jenni says with a knowing look and you cannot help but feel like she knows something you don’t.
You can only nod. Apart from Irene, you didn’t know these girls very well and the version of yourself that you show to strangers is very different to the one that your friends see.
‘I can take you to her. We are roommates” Jenni seems sincere with her words but you feel a pang of jealousy. Everybody knew that the two of them used to date, it shouldn’t bother you, you had no right to be jealous yet that is exactly what you were feeling.
You think about it and Jenni can tell you are thinking about it.
“She hasn’t stopped talking about you and I know she will want to see you. She was your biggest fan when we watched the game” Jenni added hoping to create some sense of comfortability.
“She watched my game?” You asked in disbelief. You thought you had no one but maybe you did, maybe Alexia was the someone that was cheering you on but instead of the family area she was cheering you on from the hotel you were currently standing outside of.
“She did. I think she forgot she was Spanish for a minute” Irene says which causes you to laugh.
“I doubt that but I appreciate the support. You know I shouldn’t be talking to you, you guys are the enemy now” 
“Yet you came here for our captain, she will be your enemy too. Come on, I’ll take you to her. We wouldn’t want you to be spotted outside our hotel, just think of the optics” Jenni once again says.
“Ok” you nod your head a few times to solidify your answer.
The girls lead you through the hotel but only Jenni and Irene stay with you, Misa and Laia walk ahead. The longer you walk the more you begin wondering if this was a good idea. What if you are overstepping your boundaries. You had no right to be here and could easily be turned away at any point.
You enter the lounge area of the hotel which holds the majority of the Spanish national team yet your eyes search for only one. She see’s you before you see her and is walking over to you with a worried look on her face.
“Estas bien? What are you doing here?” Alexia’s arm rests on your shoulder.
“It was an accident. I was out for a walk and I ended up here” you explained.
“She was asking for you” Jenni says even though technically it wasn’t true. In her eyes she wanted to play matchmaker after it was made evidently clear that Alexia was hesitant to peruse things with you even though she had feelings for you.
“Is this true?” Alexia asks and you nod.
“We won, I returned, I scored, wore the armband and I didn’t have anyone is stands” you whispered so only she could hear you.
The look in your eyes changed. For the first time that night you showed your true emotions. Alexia didn’t need to hear anything else. She grabbed your hand and escorted you to the outdoor seating area. She sat down whilst your paced the patio.
“Y/N, come sit down” Alexia pats the seat next to her and you comply “Are you ok, really? What made you come here to me?”
“I’m not ok but I’m more ok than I thought I would be. It’s been quite a day, that game was —“
“Incredible. You changed the entire play” 
“It felt right. I belong on the pitch with the girls, I should never have left” You didn’t register that you felt guilty about your absence until you said the words out loud to Alexia.
“You needed to. You had to process your loss and you returned when you were ready”
Alexia was very understanding, you had to give her that. 
“That answers my first question but the second” the Catalonian didn’t want to push but there had to be a reason and until she heard the truth she was filled with worry. You had been walking the streets of Madrid, alone, at almost midnight.
“Why am I here?” You repeated it. Maybe you hoped that hearing the question again would help you figure out an answer, it did “I wanted to celebrate…….with you. I was surrounded by my team, people I consider family yet you were the one I wanted to call and tell about the game”
You dipped your head when you felt yourself getting emotional. You were suppose to be happy but with everything you were feeling you were overwhelmed. On top of what you were feeling you couldn’t ignore the way your heart beat twice as fast because Alexia was sat opposite you with her hand now resting on your thigh. 
When you looked up Alexia noticed the the tears in your eyes and was quick to wipe away one when it fell.
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way Alexia, it is wrong” you met her eye as you made your version of a confession.
“You can be happy about playing football again Y/N. Natalia would have wanted you to be”
“Don’t say her name, not now” you shook your head and Alexia’s hand fell back to its prior place on your thigh.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I can give you space if that what you need” the blonde stands, ready to leave you be but you grab her hand and pull her back down.
“I don’t want space and that is the problem. I wasn’t talking about the game Alexia. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about you” you shook your head in disbelief. You were sure that your shot of happiness died with your wife but you have developed feelings for Alexia and could no longer deny it.
“Y/N” Alexia cupped your face so that you would look at her but when you did, her hand didn’t move.
“Ale” you melted into her touch. That very touch gave you butterflies and you enjoyed the act of intimacy.
The two of you went silent but each of your thoughts were very loud. Alexia glanced at your lips, you knew what she was about to do and you didn’t stop her. Maybe you should have, maybe you should have pulled away but you didn’t. You didn’t move when her lips hovered centimetres from your own, you let her kiss you. You froze in the moment, like a deer in headlights. It was only when you closed your eyes did you realise what was happening. The kiss felt like you were cheating, it felt wrong yet felt so right.
“You shouldn’t have done that. We can’t do this. It was wrong” you pushed Alexia away and stood up hastily.
You stormed away before Alexia had the chance to speak. All eyes were on you as you walked through the sea of Spanish players. Their eyes went from you and then to Alexia who was running through, trying to catch up to you. She was hot on your heels until you turned to face her. She waited a couple of seconds before taking steps towards you.
“Stop” you say but she doesn’t “No!” you held you arm out to further imply your seriousness.
After that she can do nothing else but watch you walk away from her. Her hazel eyes stayed on you until you were out the lobby doors and onto the streets of the Spanish capital.
Alexia was frozen in place. She has ruined everything by rushing but she felt something when she touched you, she felt a spark and that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t feel the same thing she did. You told her that had feelings for her, you came all this way to see her. Those things meant something but maybe she had read it wrong, maybe it had all been in her head.
“Alexia, are you ok? You’re crying” Irene appeared in front of her. The woman in question was quick to wipe her eyes in hope that no one else would see her tears.
“I’m fine. It’s getting late, everyone should go to their rooms. We have a final to prepare for and we need to be at our best” Alexia walked away.
The two of you were very quiet in the upcoming days and were laser focused on the task at hand. Beat the opposing team and being the first even UEFA Nations League champions. Both of your team mates could tell something was wrong but they didn’t know what to do. Your team mates wasn’t aware of your late night adventures until Aitana texted Keira to ask if you were ok and told her that Alexia wasn’t after you showed up at their hotel. The English midfielder kept this to herself given that Lucy has only just got started talking to Alexia and there were a few players on the team who’s protectiveness could rival the defenders.
By the time the day of the final came around there was plenty of reason for concern but both teams knew that this is what you had been working towards. Yes, a trophy was on the line but it was the previous trophy that was the topic of conversation. 
The first time Alexia saw you was when they arrived for the pitch inspection. You were near the goal with LJ, it has become a new pre match routine for the two of you. Well you did it the game a couple of days ago and you won that so the two of you gravitated towards the goal today. 
Alexia wanted to go to you and that is what she was going to do until she felt a hand grab her wrist.
“Alexia” 
She turned to face Keira.
“Leave her be”
“I didn’t mean to upset her. We were talking about feelings and then I kissed her, I couldn’t help it. It felt right in the moment” Alexia couldn’t stop talking. It’s like was making a confession and Keira would be the one deciding whether or not it was a sin.
Meanwhile the English midfielder couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure she had suspected something was going on between the two of you but she also had a strong sense that you wasn’t ready for anything knew. In her eyes you were still healing.
“You kissed her?” Keira whispered as not to bring attention to their conversation.
Alexia was about to explain further but Keira stopped her as she sure her other team mate coming towards them.
“Lucy is coming. I will talk to you about this later” 
It was as if Keira flipped a switch. Her look of concern was replaced with a smile and she even put on a fake laugh so Lucy wouldn’t arrive to an awkward silence. Soon enough it was a gathering of Barcelona players yet Alexia could stay focused on what her friends were saying for you were beginning to walk towards her.
In your eyes you wanted to talk to Alexia and you knew you needed to. The other night was a lot for you to process but you did owe her an explanation for leaving, that much you did know. She looked good as you watched her enter the pitch. You let your eyes linger in the most discreet way possible. 
“You and Putellas?” LJ asked you. She wasn’t aware of what happened, nor did she know you were married. In her eyes, you were hiding something and she wasn’t wrong.
“We are friends…..I think. It’s complicated” you admitted knowing that Lauren wouldn’t push you further.
“Uncomplicate it” she suggested.
“If only it was that easy. Let’s head in and get ready”
You felt the change in heartbeat again as you got closer to where Alexia was standing. Your head might have been all over the place but you heart was being very clear in what it wanted only you weren’t ready to admit it.
“Y/N” Alexia shouted to you as you walked past her.
“Hi” for whatever reason, you pulled her into a hug “Good luck today, you’re going to need it” 
You both started laughing at the quick change of energy.
“I don’t think it’s us that need luck. We beat you in the summer” Alexia was cocky but she wasn’t confident.
“You didn’t beat me though” you couldn’t help but smile at her.
Your smile was genuine and that is something Alexia took great hope in seeing. Maybe you weren’t mad at her, maybe you just needed a little space.
What you said next doubled that hope.
“Come find me after the game”
Then just as quick as the hope was there, it wasn’t.
“We need to talk”
Those 4 words struck fear in Alexia but she didn’t have the chance to say anything because you were already down the tunnel by the time she came to her senses.
Your was brought up several times in the Spanish locker room and each time all eyes fell to Alexia for she is the one that knew you most. She had learnt how you think, what plays you are going to make before you make them. In her team’s eyes she knew how to stop you. Only it wasn’t that easy. Alexia did knew how you play but that style changes when you are hungry, like you have a point to prove and this game brought both of those things.
“Stop focusing on Y/N! If you focus on how to stop her then you’ve already lost. Focus on stopping her from getting the ball” That is the last thing she said before heading out into the tunnel. 
The lionesses were waiting for her, she expected it. It was an intimidation tactic. You weren’t there and that was a surprise, she would have bet good money that you would be in the starting 11. Mary stood opposite her and smirked when she saw the look of bewilderment on the opposing players face. 
Alexia wanted to say something, she kept looking back at the team. If she was paying attention she would notice that there was only 10 players on the England side of the tunnel. With her eyes now facing forward she didn’t see you walking towards the front of the line. The sound of your cleats fell on deaf ears.
Her head shot to the side when she caught a glimpse of you standing next to her with the pendent in your hand.
“Capital Y/L/N, nice to see you back where you belong” Alexia covered her mouth, her being well aware that there were cameras on her.
You shake your head at her greeting.
“Captain Putellas. You’re going to wish I wasn’t” you had one last attempt to get in her head.
“No I won’t. Win or lose today, this is something the world, myself included, has been waiting for” 
You thought you would get a smart remark not a reply that was genuine.
“Alexia” 
“Y/N” 
Those were the last words spoken except from a good look after the coin toss.
You called a huddle before everyone got into place. This game was important, not only because of the trophy on the line but it was the lionesses chance at redemption. To prove that it was only one game.
“I want you all to do something for me. Play for right now, not for the past. You cannot change what happened in the summer, no matter how hard you try. Winning today won’t get you the star on the shirt but it can be the reset you guys have been wanting. That loss has been haunting you, I can see it by the look on your faces and I promise you here today that if you play with revenge in your hearts then you will fail. Yes, this is Spain but we are England. We don’t stay down, we get up and fight. We stand together as a team, a pride. We go out there and leave everything on the pitch” 
Each player is hooked on every word as you give Mary the signal. 
“England on three” 
You all come together one more time before getting in position.
Alexia tries to do the same by most of the team is watching you.
“She is going to make it hard” Olga tells her captain.
“She is going to make our lives hell for the next 90 minutes but that’s not to say we can’t give it back. Look at that star on your shirt, we got that by beating this team. Yes, Y/N wasn’t playing but she is one player. As good as she may be, we are better. You’ve seen what everyone is saying, they are calling our World Cup win a fluke, that we didn’t win but England lost. We may have qualified for the Olympics but our job is not done. We have a trophy to win. Vamos Espana” 
Just like England did, Spain come together before readying themselves for the game.
The game which starts in the worst possible way for the away team. It seems the your players might be a bit more nervous that they are letting on. Inside the first 15 minutes Salma gets through on goal and sends Spain up 1-0. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t mean the game was over either. You were playing safe, as a way to get the most out of the team around you. When the first half is done with you haven’t take a single shot on goal. 
Spain entered the tunnel happy and England entered it less so.
The atmosphere was eerie in the locker room and you could see the self doubt radiating off your team mates.
Sarina takes the floor and explains all sorts of strategies but nobody is listening. They are in their own head.
“Do you mind?” You walk up to Sarina hoping to have a talk with your team. The coach happily steps aside.
“How many of you are thinking about the World Cup? Raise your hand” nobody does and you decide to call bullshit “You’re lying and I won’t have that. You are telling me none of you are out there thinking of the summer? the picture of them lifting the trophy that should have been yours?” 
One by one players begin lifting their hands.
“I can stand here and say I haven’t been good enough. I need to be better and I will be better. In 45 minutes we will be crowned champions. The question is are we going to do it in style or are we going to make it harder for ourselves? We know what we need to do and we will do it” 
You leave the locker room and go back out onto the pitch. You are the first one out there and you take a minute to look at the score board. 1-0. You hated to lose but more than that, you hated to let people down. You made the decision to come back and you didn’t do that to come second.  You returned to be a champion and to make Natalia proud, you wasn’t doing to let her down. You had spent the past couple of days trying not to think about her and maybe that was the problem. She was your greatest strength, your biggest supporter and she may be no longer with you, you may be beginning to move on but that doesn’t mean you have to forget about her. No, you need to play for her just as you always did.
The first ten minutes of the second half it was like a different team was on the pitch. England were pushing and pressing and Spain were struggling. In the 67 minute was when the game was made even once again. You and hempo were tiring out the defence and it made them vulnerable. On one counter attack they couldn’t keep up. Irene was the only player standing between you and Cata but she could see Hempo running up beside you. She found herself in a lose lose situation so she stuck with you in hopes that the pressure would work, it didn’t. You pull her in just enough to give hempo enough space. At the last minute you passed to your left and she fired the ball into the back of the net.
Game on.
Spain were beginning to tire and the one touch football that was known around the world began to work in favour of England. They were unable to play out from the back because you, Alessia, Hempo and LJ was pressing the defence. It was mind play and it was working. 
It was during a corner where things got interesting.
“Keep going!” You clapped your hands to rally the team “we are in their heads, now we end it” 
“You’re not in our heads” Alexia says as she chooses to mark you. It was a tactic they hadn’t done yet, so far Jenni had marked you.
“Just you saying that is proof that we are but feel free to prove me wrong” you had a minute to talk as the ref walk talking to Lucy and Irene.
“I will. Let’s make it interesting. You score right now and I’ll buy you a drink later”
“So that means I’ll be taking the trophy and your money? Oh you’re on” 
Alexia followed you are you walked around the box as you got into position. You would end up in one or two places; front post or in the middle. Never did she think you would make a run for the back post and swap positions will Lucy. The change caught Alexia out and when the ball hit the back of the neck she shook her head in defeat. 
She had played right into your hands. You had pulled her in with your words and left her hanging when you celebrated what would go on to be the winning goal of the game.
You had to take a moment when the game was over. Everyone was celebrating but you and Lucy made the effort to congratulate your club team mates of a game well played.
“Ay, Capi. You’re predictable you know that?” Lucy threw her arms around the Catalonian.
“Lucy!” You slapped her on the back of the head “What she meant to say is you guys played a good game and that we will see you in Paris”
“We’ll see them in Barcelona” Lucy tried to correct you.
“I mean on the pitch as opponents, idiot”  
Alexia was to focused on what the defender said first to hear the bickering that was now taking place between the two of you.
“What did she mean?” Alexia asked you.
Lucy gave you a look before leaving the two of you be.
“You once told me that in order to see yourself as the best, you had to beat the best. Tonight you wanted to beat me”
“No, I —“ 
“You did and that’s ok. I wanted to beat you too. It’s our competitive nature. That need you had allowed us a way in. I didn’t know it would come from a corner, only that in at least one part of the game you will stick to me just so you could say you got the upper hand”
“I should have dropped you off, let Irene pick you up and followed Lucy” Alexia understands the error she made.
“You should have but don’t beat yourself up about it. That wasn’t our first plan or second. Our plan was for Hempo to tire Ona out and for Lucy to get inside Olga’s head. Without those two things happening, we wouldn’t have got the corner in the way we did”
Alexia didn’t know whether to be pissed off or impressed that you read her and her team so well.
“You deserve the win today. Go celebrate with your team” 
“I will but remember you owe me a drink. I’ll text you the address of wherever we go. Invite the girls too”
Alexia watched you walk away but there was one more thing she wanted to tell you only she feared it would do more damage than good. In the end she bite the bullet and ran to you.
“Y/N” 
“Hi again” you laughed “Do you want another explanation of our strategy? We can always watch the game back when we in home in Barcelona” 
Home in Barcelona. There is something about the way you said it that made alexia feel warm and fuzzy inside.  She quickly shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts and the overthinking that came with them.
“I just want to say that Natalia would have been proud of you today. Not just today but the other game too. I know it’s not my place to say that because I didn’t know her but you should know that. You—“ Alexia began rambling.
“Breathe. Thank you for saying that. I know she is looking down on me right now with a huge smile on her face and truth is if I think about her too much then I think I might cry so I don’t want to go into that right now. Thank you though” 
Alexia couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t have said that.
The ceremony went by in the blind of an eye. One minute you are waiting for Spain to collect their medals, the next you are raising the trophy with Mary. Back in the locker room you find yourself staring at the medal on your neck. Never in your professional career had one stayed on your neck for this long and never has the gold felt so heavy. It felt like it was weighing you down so you take it off and stuff it into your back. You would talk about that means with your therapist if you had one. 
Later on in the night you found yourself at the hotel bar with the rest of the team celebrating. You tried your best to be happy and part of you truly was but you life off the field was becoming more complicated and hard to ignore.
“Excuse me” you tell the group that included Leah, Georgia, Keira and Lucy. 
“Should we be concerned?” Georgia asks.
“Yes but let her have a moment. These past ten days have been a lot for her” Lucy tells her friend.
They watched as you paced back and forth on the balcony. To the English it was warm outside but there was still a chill in the air and you weren’t wearing a jacket. Keira kept looking at her watch asking herself how long is long enough before she goes out to you. 
Some of the Spanish team arrive about an hour after the lionesses. Some of them go to the bar, some go to friend but Alexia, well she only had one interest and she couldn’t it or more specifically couldn’t find you. Her eyes scanned the room one, twice and third time. She had her phone out ready to call just as she sees you. 
Leah catches her walking towards you and wants to stop her.
“What is she doing” The blonde asks defensively “Y/N doesn’t want anything to do with her”
The Arsenal player has heard about you bust up when Keira visiting England over Christmas. 
“Things are different now but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do. Alexia!” Keira shouts her club captain over.
“Hola. Congratulations again. You guys sure know how to party” she tried to be polite even though she had no interest in a conversation with anyone who wasn’t you.
“Thank you” Leah seems genuine “Were you going to see Y/N?” 
Alexia nods.
“That might not be the best idea right now. I think she needs a minute to herself. It’s been quite the day for her”
“I know. That’s why I want to talk to her” Alexia knew that you might be been struggling but to her that was all the more reason for her to talk to you.
“She won’t even wear her medal” Georgia adds earning her a shove. As far as the English players are aware, Alexia didn’t know anything.
“That isn’t surprising. Every tournament until this one she has given her medal to Natalia” Alexia says as if it is the most obvious thing but your friends didn’t put two and two together.
“Wait” Lucy says “She told you about her?” Again, Alexia nods.
“When? She hasn’t talked about her since she passed” the defender added.
“After Christmas” Alexia explains but goes no further.
“That’s why she went to you the other night but then you—“
“Keira, I won’t talk about that right now. I just want make sure she is ok and I can’t do that if I am being interrogated by you” 
With that Alexia leaves your friends speechless and makes her way towards the balcony.
As quietly as possible, Alexia slides the door open and closes it behind her. She didn’t want to startle you so she watched from a distance. Your face wasn’t puffy so you hadn’t been crying but your posture was stiff so you were stressed.
“They’ve spent the past hour burning holes in the back of my head from their staring yet you have come straight out” you turn to see Alexia resting against the door. 
“I owe you a drink and —” 
“And yet your hands are empty” you point to Alexia’s hand which as you stated aren’t holding a drink “You can come closer you know. I’m not going to blow”
“I know it’s just that—“
“The last time we were along I ran away crying” you laugh as you think back to that night. Things were going really well until they wasn’t.
“Are you going to let me finish a sentence or are you going to keep talking for me?”
You mumble an apology and signal for her to continue.
“Your friends know I know and I accidentally told keira we kissed” 
“Figures. She has been hovering” 
The two of you go quiet. It’s not awkward, it’s comfortable but even then it’s not what either of you wanted.
“You said we needed to talk” Alexia didn’t want to push things and you had told her this before the game.
“We do. What happened the other night it—“
“Shouldn’t have happened”
“Who is finishing the other’s sentences now” 
“Lo siento”
“As I was saying” you send her smirk so she knows she isn’t in trouble “The other night was very overwhelming for me, not because I didn’t like what happened but because I did. I told you that I had feelings and those feelings are for you Alexia. You make me feel things that I thought I’d never feel again. I promised my heart and love to her Alexia and to feel these things for someone else is like an act of betrayal. It feels wrong but I don’t want those feelings to stop. You kissed me and I knew it was going to happen yet I didn’t to stop it. I shouldn’t have ran away like that”
“It was a lot for you, I understand that” Alexia tried to reassure you that it was ok.
“It was but I should have stayed. You wanted to talk to me and I didn’t give you the opportunity. Just because I lost someone doesn’t mean that it’s only my feelings that matter. I’m sorry Alexia” 
Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Since you said the words ‘we need to talk’ she has been trying to think of all the things you could have said, an apology was not one of them.
“Can I say what I would have that night?” Alexia asks and you nods your head whilst closing the distance between you.
“Those feelings you talked about, I feel them too. Things changed between us after you told me and I couldn’t ignore it, trust me I tried. I was also aware of your loss and that this might not be something you are ready for so I talked to my mum one night. She is the only other person I know who has experienced the same loss you have. I told her that I had fallen for you and that I wanted to act on my feelings. You know what she told me? She told me that time heals all wounds but no amount of time is the same. If I wanted to prove to you that I truly liked you then I would need to take it slow so that is what I am willing to do. If you want to pursue this then we will take it slow, as slow as you need. You said it feels like an act of betrayal and I respect that. I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for”
Alexia reached out for you and noticed once again tears were falling down your face.
“I have made you cry again. I shouldn’t have said anything. Y/N I am so sorry”
“Alexia, these aren’t sad tears” you reach for her hand  “I can’t promise you that this will be easy. When Natalia died she took a lot of my heart with her and I don’t know how much is left but I want to share what I have left with you. Please be patient with me Alexia because I don’t know how to do this again. For most of my life it has been her and I but now I get the chance at happiness again, with you. We can take this slow?”
“We will go as slow are you want. I have nothing but time for you Y/N”
Alexia knew what to say and for the first time in a long time you found yourself leaning forward. Just as you were about to kiss her she moves and kisses your cheek.
“Slowly Y/N” Alexia winked causing you to chuckle “How about we go for dinner when we return to Barcelona?“
“I would really like that”
“Me too. Now if I remember correctly I owe you a drink” Alexia holds the door open so that you both can rejoin the party.
“That does seem to be the case. Make it a double. It’s not every day you pull one over on La Reina to score the winning goal” you shoved her playfully.
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awfcspencer · 4 months
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Pretty Heart || alexia putellas x reader
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alexia putellas x reader
prompt: Alexia outside stone cold persona doesn’t match the Alexia you see.
warnings: none!
Alexia took her role as captain for Barcelona very seriously. It was an absolute honor to represent her team as the captain, dreaming about times like this when she was a young girl. Alexia worked her tail off in training and in matches to gain the respect of fans, her coaches, and her teammates. She was herself’s biggest supporter and critic.
At training, Alexia was stone cold, not in a mean way by any measure of the word, but in a way of expecting the best out of her teammates. She would offer tips and advice on how to better her teammates. She never said anything she wouldn’t do herself, often times staying after on the pitch to get a few more dribbling exercises in and shooting drills. She wanted to lead by example. She typically never goofed off or really laughed during training and this only added to her serious persona as captain. On the pitch, she was focused on a single goal, get better each day.
When Alexia brought you around her teammates for the first time to say that they were surprised would be an understatement. You were loud, always joking around, and had a smile locked on your face. The complete opposite of what they usually saw from Alexia. But unlike they thought, it was not a case of opposites attract.
At home, away from the pitch, Alexia was the sweetest girl you had ever met, and she had the prettiest and biggest heart. On her way home from training, she would pick you up flowers and your favorite chocolate so often that you were running out of vases to put them in. Alexia was also incredibly happy whenever she got home to you, hoping to shower and cuddle you the rest of the night. She really liked to leave football at the door when she arrived home, completely separating work life and love life. Just as the way your smile never left your face, Alexia always had a smile plastered on her face when she was around you. You lit up Alexia’s life, just as much as she lit up your life.
Alexia was also one of the funniest people ever, often telling her that if football doesn’t work out that she would make bank as a comedian. Alexia had a way of adding one-liners to your guys conversations that made you laugh until you had tears in your eyes and your abs hurt. The secret was that Alexia loved to make you laugh, your laugh warmed her heart and she could listen to your laugh all day every day. Simply just music to her ears.
For this particular Barcelona match, you were getting a small dinner after to celebrate and meet a few of her teammates a bit better. You understood slightly that Alexia was a little two sided, one side with you and one side with her teammates, but you unaware at the drastic difference.
At the table was you, Alexia, Lucy, Ona, Mapi, and Ingrid. It was a low key, in the wall sort of restaurant, hoping to have a quiet night and enjoy one another’s company. Conversations flowed effortlessly at the table.
“So, what is Alexia like at home? Does she boss you around like she does us?” Lucy asks you in a joking manner.
“What? Definitely not. If anything, I have to always get on her to remember to do her laundry or the dishes.” You tell the group. It is interesting to hear that Alexia is so different between with you and with her teammates.
“I can not imagine Alexia being captained around.” Mapi adds. Mapi was probably the next closest person to really know Alexia and she was still widely unaware of Alexia’s true soft nature. At this point in the conversation, Alexia has a deep red blush on her cheeks and while the other members of the dinner were unaware, she was clutching your hand as she played with the rings on your hand under the table. If anyone were to see Alexia now, they wouldn’t be able to even fathom that she was a serious captain who believed in a ‘work hard play hard’ mentality.
“I guess Alexia is just a two-sided mystery.” you joke out, now fully understanding the vast difference of character.
The dinner carried on as did the conversations. Whenever you made small comments or little stories about your Alexia, her teammates could now see the fun, joking, and sweet side of Alexia. She would crack jokes at the table and she slowly came out of her captaincy shell. The dinner was finished and you had a lovely time, giving everyone a quick hug before walking out with Alexia.
When you both returned home, you wanted to ask Alexia about it.
“Hey Ale, why do your teammates make it seem like you are some hard-nosed captain that has like a no fun zone sign on your head” you questioned to her.
“I am their captain baby, I want to be respected.” she answered as if it was completely simple.
While you understood the point she was trying to make, it did make you a little sad at the thought that they didn’t really know the true Alexia. The Alexia that cried at any dog movie where the dog dies. The Alexia that refused to go to bed until she got a proper kiss goodnight. The Alexia that had to be holding your hand or really just be in your space 24/7. The Alexia that whined like a baby when you would leave to go to work, complaining as the bed was too cold when you left her side. Your Alexia.
“I get it, I do. But maybe if you showed a little bit more of you, your pretty heart baby, then it could honestly help the team more. You know like showing even the captain is human.” you explained to her.
“Yeah maybe, but I am only agreeing because you’re too cute to make upset.” she stated as she moved you and her to the couch so you two can cuddle and continue your binge watch of Love Island.
This is where you knew Alexis was most relaxed and comfortable, beside you, in your shared private home. A small fuzzy blanket thrown over the two of you as her hands found yours. Giving her a small kiss on the temple before beginning the episode.
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mysunshinetemptress · 3 months
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Not Strong Enough
Alexia Putellas x reader
Warnings: angst, relationship issues/breakdown
“Well I’m fucking sorry I’m not her Ale.”
“No you’re not your just a fucking disappointment.”
You stood frozen looking into the fridge cleaning up from a dinner you had made hours ago that Alexia hadn’t even bothered showing up for. You turn slowly looking at the clock behind her head “I don’t want to do this right now.” Alexia shook her head “no I’m so fed up with you, why honestly why can’t you just be like her.” You shook your head looking at the floor feeling your throat close “I don’t know why, I am the way I am I’m sorry I’m not her.” You couldn’t believe you where apologising, you had done nothing wrong but she was Alexia Putellas, La Reina she deserved someone who could match that she deserved Jenni Hermoso and no matter how hard you tried you never got close enough. You shook your head as Alexia just stared at you looking for a fight but you didn't have the energy instead looking up at the ceiling thinking of the ring that burnt a whole in your dresser wishing to be used, you had it all planned out but you saw that future slowly slipping away as Alexia began shouting again so loud you could barley here the song "Boys Don't Cry" playing from the speaker.
You turned to look at her as continued shouting about how much of a disappointment you where to hear, how you would never be enough and you wanted to look at her and hate her for her words but you found yourself believing them and therefore you couldn't hate her if you agreed with her. As the older girl continued to compare you to her ex you couldn't help but think of how you would never be able to be enough for her like Jenni was, you didn't play football, you weren't famous or an influencer you worked a desk job, a 9-5 week in and week out, you didn't have trophies or medals adorned with your name across them you simply had an office where you added up numbers how could an accountant from A Coruna.
You where simply an angel not a god like Jenni, no never a god
You couldn't move as Alexia shouted out all of the ways Jenni was better then you and you felt yourself suddenly begin to realise what was about to happen. This was it the ring in your dresser wasn't screaming at you to get out and be placed on Alexia fingers your mind wasn't telling you to fit the energy was gone.
"SAY SOMETHING" you looked up at Alexia as your eyes refocused and you where pulled back to present time "What do you want me to say Ale" you sighed heavily tired of it all "See this is what I mean at least Jenni would talk to me, communicate her feelings with me you shut off." you subbed your eyes god did they feel heavy. "Theres no point." you moved to the drawer taking out your car keys before heading upstairs to pack your bag.
Alexia stood shocked as you waled past her to the front door "At least Jenni would fight for us you are walking away such a disappointment." you turned shaking your head. "Yes Alexia such a disappointment like you already said, like you have said since this relationship started, I'm done I...I can't take the constant fights after you realise I'm not here and then feel the need to take it out on me its...its not fair.. and the sad part is I tried to be her but I'm sorry I failed at that because I can't....I am me and I thought you loved me for that but clearly I was wrong." Alexia shook her head "Don't make it out like I'm the bad guy you....you only got with me for my name for my status." You looked at her in disbelief how could she ever think that.
"I have loved you before your injury, I have loved you during your injury and the sad part is I will love you long after this injury is healed and you are back to La Reina but I won't be in the stands, who would want such a disappointment of a girlfriend screaming for their return no."
You chucked the keys at her as you walked out the door. Done with never being enough for her always being a disappointment and falling short for always only being an Angel and never a God, for never being Jenni Hermoso
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woso-dreamzzz · 2 months
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Injured VII
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Jenni Hermoso x Child!Reader
Summary: Alexia tries to get her act together
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For as long as she will ever live, Alexia will never forget her mother's face that day at Alba's door.
She will never forget the genuine horror on her mother's face even as she took control of the situation. She will never forget that night when Alba slammed her against the wall after the final of the Copa de la Reina. She will never forget the way you hid behind Jenni's legs after your ballet lesson.
It's all she thinks about even as she sits in the rocking chair with a sleeping Jaume in her arms.
"Ale?" Olga says sleepily," It's three in the morning. Come back to bed."
Alexia doesn't want to. She doesn't want to let Jaume go but she doesn't want to look at him either.
He was so perfect. His birth had been quick and easy unlike yours. Alexia had felt an instant connection to him, unlike when she suffered a bought of post-partum depression with you. He was so soft and so perfect and yet...
Alexia couldn't believe that she has pushed you away in favour of him.
She had a beautiful son and daughter. Two children, not one.
She thought having a sibling would be the best thing for you. She wanted to build a family with Olga. She never considered that she hadn't actually included you in that family.
"Alexia," Olga says, a bit more awake now," Come on. He's due for a feed soon. I'd like some sleep before that."
Mechanically, Alexia places her son back in his crib, wiping away some of the drool on his face as she allows Olga to lead her back to bed.
A sense of numbness follows her now and it's clear to everyone.
Word has spread amongst the team now about what has happened. They know the bare minimum, only that Alba took Bambi and that Jenni has dropped everything to fly across the world for you.
No one knows why, officially. It's clear that Mapi and Ingrid have informed a few team members. Paredes, in particular, cannot look Alexia in the eye anymore and some of the younger players are wary seeing that.
Her life is falling apart. She had no idea you were the linchpin holding it all together.
Olga lays next to her, head pillowed on Alexia's chest.
"You're so tense," She says," Relax. Everything's going to be fine."
Alexia scoffs. "Is it?"
Her question hangs in the air for several minutes. Neither of them speak. Neither of them move.
"Yes," Olga says eventually," You need to stay positive, Alexia. If not for yourself then for your daughter-"
"Your daughter?" Alexia echoes Olga's words perfectly," My daughter? Is she not ours?"
The silence is telling and Olga rolls over and away.
"Is she? Jaume is ours. y/n is yours."
Alexia sits up in bed, reaching over to flick a lamp on. This wasn't a conversation she could have in the dark.
"We have a son together. We're going to get married. In what world is Bambi just mine?!"
"In every world!" Olga sits up too. "She has always been yours, Alexia! I am just the woman her Mami is marrying! Nothing more, nothing less!"
"How can you say that?! We're making a family together! Bambi is included in that family!"
"Of course she is but when have I ever taken that role in her life?! You took her to football! You take her to ballet!"
"She stays home with you all day!" Alexia bites back, standing now until they're both yelling at each other over the bed. "You make her lunch! You keep her occupied!"
"And you do her baths and her bedtime routine! You do her morning routine too! God, Alexia, I am essentially her glorified babysitter! You have never once let me take over those things!"
"You didn't ask?! Olga, if you wanted to do that stuff just ask me!"
"And be rejected? No! You've never given any indication that I was even allowed to try!"
"Because I thought you didn't want to! Bambi has always been mine! Forgive me for not knowing how much to put on your plate. I was trying to make this transition easy!"
"An easy transition?! Alexia, I was pregnant! I was already thrown in the deep end! Adding a self-sufficient kid wouldn't have been much worse!"
They're both screaming at each other now and Jaume clearly hears the noise because he cries from down the hall.
Alexia takes a deep breath, eyes shutting briefly as she counts to ten to calm herself.
Olga goes to get Jaume, moving out the door.
"If we're going to get Bambi back," Alexia calls after her," Then we have to both want her!"
The forms about your ballet class lay on the kitchen table when Alexia gets up the next day. Things were frosty last night when Olga came back to bed with Jaume but they seemed to be looking up when Olga said that they would have a mature conversation about the Bambi situation when Alexia got home.
Alexia picks it up as she eats her breakfast, skimming through it. It's for an extra class on Thursday nights (five until seven) on top of your usual ones. Apparently, it's for those little kids that have real potential. As in, the potential to be great.
Alexia had been one of those kids but for football instead of ballet. She had excelled. She was one of the greatest in the world now all because her father saw the potential in her and signed her up for a team.
She had tried to do the same with you. She took you to the under-fives Barcelona team but it hadn't turned out how she want it to. The other children had left you in the dust. Alexia had hoped that it would be a one time thing, that the first session was a fluke.
You were already so different to her and even back then, she knew that when Jaume arrived things would be different.
She'd tried to get you into football so you would have something to bond over together, at least until Jaume was big enough to play with you.
But it wasn't meant to be and her Mama had insisted in signing you up for something else.
Originally, Alexia had planned on it being another team sport, desperate to have something at least similar to football that she could cling to.
Instead, her Mama had reminded her of last Christmas when the family went to go see the Nutcracker and how enamoured you had been.
Ale's Mama had pushed and pushed for ballet and Alexia was glad that she had.
The forms sat signed on the kitchen table as Alexia washed up her bowl and dialled a number on her phone.
"Hola, Mama," She says," It's about Bambi..."
It's after training that Alexia goes to see her Mama and sister. They meet up at Eli's house and all crowd around the kitchen table.
Jenni is there too and when Alexia asks who is looking after you, she's told that Mapi and Ingrid have taken you for ice cream.
"I don't like this," Alba mutters from where she's leaning against the wall. She's the only one not sat, arms crossed over her chest. "How do we know that she's not going to take Bambi home and neglect her again, huh?"
It's the hardest words Alexia has ever had to say but she pushes them out of her mouth. "I don't want you to give me Bambi back, not now at least."
"What do you mean, Alexia?" Her Mama asks.
"I...I have a lot of making up to do," Alexia admits," I broke her trust and that is not an easy thing to get back. If I want Bambi to come home then she has to want it to. I don't want her to be unhappy again."
"What are you saying?"
"Let me visit her, please. Let me earn back her trust, please."
Everyone knows Eli is in charge here. She is the head of the family and everyone defers to her on big decisions like this. This is a family matter. This is about her granddaughter's happiness and her daughter's peace of mind.
"Bambi is very fragile right now," Eli says quietly but the house is so silent everyone can hear her clearly," This is a serious matter, Alexia and if it was anyone else's daughter, child services will have already been called."
Alexia looks down at the table, the same table she would be scolded at when she was young.
"Your father would be ashamed of you." Eli's words are hard and biting and it's exactly what Alexia wants, even if it causes a sharp pain in her chest. "This is not how we raised you. That little girl is so beloved by everyone and what you have done...I love you, Ale, but it is unacceptable."
"I know, Mama. Please, let me make this right."
"Bambi coming home is her choice. It is not a when...it is an if. If I decide that you are doing more harm than good then there will be other actions we can take."
She looks at Jenni, who up until this point has been silent and Alexia's eyes dart to her too.
"Mama, what are you talking about?"
"Eli," Jenni says," She is trying. We don't need to-"
"Jenni still has adoption papers," Alba says from her corner of the room," All they're missing is your signature. Mama is saying that if this cannot be resolved and Bambi doesn't want to come home..."
She lets the idea hang in the air. She doesn't need to say it out loud. They all know what she means.
"It won't get that far," Jenni says, looking at Alexia for the first time since all of this became real," Bambi loves you."
Alexia pushes through the lump in her throat and the tears pricking in her eyes. "If I cannot make this better then she will have the best chance with you."
Jenni looks away first. "She has ballet on Saturday until one. We can do a visit then."
"Thank you."
Olga is sitting with Jaume when Alexia gets home. It's an almost perfect image. All it's missing is you at Olga's feet, playing with your trains.
She can imagine it, your trainsets spread all over the floor and your ballet bag left abandoned on a chair. You will smile when you see her and Alexia will litter your face with kisses before doing the same to Olga and Jaume.
It will be perfect, Alexia promises herself.
"Hey, little man," She coos to her son, hefting him up into her arms and pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Jaume giggles at the affection, lips smacking together as his hand whips out to grab at Alexia's nose curiously. He's been a little fussy recently and extremely sensitive to changes in light but he seems a little happier now.
"That's my nose," Alexia says. She wiggles it. "Is it really funny? Huh? Is my nose funny?"
"Jaume seems to think so." Olga rises from the sofa and pecks Alexia's lips. "How was your mother?"
"Helpful."
"And Alba?"
"She was...Alba."
"And Jenni?"
"How did you-?"
"I am not blind or deaf, Ale. Your team gossips. Jenni has comes back to Spain for y/n."
"Amor-"
"I'm not threatened," Olga laughs," You broke up for a reason but even I know that a meeting of y/n would involve her. How was it? What did they say?"
Alexia manages a smile. "I can see her on Saturday, after ballet. There's a place where you can paint pottery nearby. I think I'll take her there."
"That's nice," Olga says.
"I..." Alexia's been floating in a happy bubble ever since she started to drive home. She doesn't want to ruin it but she has to know. "Did you have a think about what we talked about?"
Olga sighs. "I love Jaume," She says after several beats of quiet," Because he is mine, yes, but mostly because he is yours as well. And I love you so much."
Alexia doesn't like where this is going. "And Bambi?"
"I'm sorry, Ale, but I do not love y/n but...I think I could learn to because she is so much like you and I love you. I do not know y/n like I know you and Jaume. I want to though. I want her home with us so I can love her like I love Jaume. I am sorry if it is not what you want to hear but it is my truth and I hope that is enough."
Tears fall down Alexia's cheeks.
"It's enough. It's enough, amor."
Alexia spends all week waiting for Saturday. There are matches to prepare for and media commitments to do but you're all she can think about.
She wonders if she should bring you a new train to mark the occasion but the model train store has finally shut down and Alexia cannot get one for you in time.
Next time though, she promises herself that she'll got you a new train for your collection. Her palms are sweaty and she's nervous when she spots you and Jenni walking down the street hand-in-hand.
You're still in your ballet clothes but you've got one of Jennie's jackets on and it's dragging on the ground behind you because it's too big. Your hair is still done up in a bun and a few wisps fall down to frame your face.
"Bambi," Alexia says, suddenly breathless when you look up at her.
"Hola, Mami," You reply, ducking a little bit behind Jenni as you greet her.
"Your Mami and you are going to paint some pottery," Jenni says," And I'll be right here to pick you up when you're done."
"You won't be late?"
"Of course I won't be! You're my most favourite little girl in the whole wide world! I'd never be late to pick you up!"
You smile and giggle when Jenni peppers kisses all over your face before gently moving you towards Alexia.
"Hola, Mami," You say again.
Alexia smiles and takes your hand. "Hola, Bambi."
You look very nervous and your hand is unusually warm in Alexia's, though she puts that down to you coming straight from ballet.
There's a big wall where you can choose what to make. Alexia gets a mug and, unsurprisingly, you want the train. It's at the very top of the shelf and you can't reach and you don't want Mami to get upset at you for asking when you could easily get something that's closer to your height.
But Alexia notices.
She's making sure to pay a lot of attention to you now. To the way that your ballet pumps are wearing a bit at the soles and the way you play with the sleeves of Jenni's jacket.
"Do you want the train, Bambi?" She asks," Do you want me to pick you up so you can grab it? Can I touch you?"
You nervously nod and Alexia pretends to not notice the way that you don't breath until you're safely back on the ground.
The little shop is quaint and fairly quiet and Alexia lets you choose the table at the very back.
Very gently, she telegraphs her every move to you as she rolls up the sleeves of Jenni's jacket so you don't get paint on it.
You're both quiet as you paint.
Your little tongue is stuck out in concentration as you dip your paintbrush into the paint and move it to cover your train.
"You moved up in ballet," Alexia says eventually," How was that?"
"Was good," Is the response from your tiny voice," It is harder now but still fun." You blink a few times as the overhead light buzzes and you scratch at you neck. It's been a little itchy since you last saw Mami and you don't like.
You haven't told anyone because you're scared they're going to get angry at you. You're a big girl now. Big girl don't complain about something as silly as itchy skin.
"I'm very proud of you," Alexia says," And I'm glad that you're enjoying ballet so much."
Your watery little smile back makes Alexia nearly cry herself. "Really, Mami?"
"Of course. I am so proud of my Bambi. You make me proud everyday."
"Are you sure, Mami?"
"Yes. I am very proud of you."
You sniffle a little and duck your head back down to continue painting. It hurts to move your head though. It's all stiff and tight so you have to hold it at an odd angle so you don't cry - though you're not sure if it's because of the pain or the fact that Mami is acting like this is the Before.
The Mami from the Before never got angry when you asked silly questions. The Mama from the Now got angry at you once when you asked a silly questions when Jaume was crying.
You hope that this Mami won't be mad because you ask a silly question.
"Mami," You ask softly, the memory plaguing you ever since your Jenni returned to you," Jenni says she wanted me when I was little. Did you want me?"
Whatever bubble Alexia was in before pops and it's like icy cold water has been dumped on her.
"What do you mean, Bambi?"
"You and Miss Olga wanted Jaume," You say," And my Jenni says she wanted me. Did you want me too?"
"Bambi..." Alexia doesn't want to think about those first few months of having you. The post-partum depression had hit hard and Alexia could do little but deal with yours and hers basic needs.
She had loved you and resented you all at the same time and the guilt had weighed on her for months.
"I always want you."
You shake your head before wincing and returning your head back to its awkward resting position. "But did you want me then? When I was little like Baby Jaume and when I was in your belly?"
Alexia moves from her chair to kneel in front of you. Her hand comes up to cradle you. Either her hands are big or your face is tiny because they cover your entire cheek.
"I love you," Alexia says," You're my Bambi and I've always loved you."
"But did you want me?"
"Bambi..."
"Mami...Mami, I..."
Alexia doesn't want to lie but she also doesn't want to tell you either. There were moments, that first week she found out she was pregnant when she didn't want you. She hadn't been overjoyed at the prospective of you. She hadn't wanted her career to be derailed by something as silly as a child.
She doesn't want to tell you the truth because she knows that it will be damaging to you. You're not old enough to be told things like this. You're not mature enough to be told this kind of information and not have it linger and fester within you for years.
But Alexia's always valued honesty. She doesn't like lying but she had lied to you all your life. She doesn't want to lie again now even if it's about something like this. Adults cannot fault other adults for telling their truth but you are neither an adult nor can you understand what this means for you.
"I want you now," Alexia says instead," I want you when I go to bed every night. I want you when I wake up every morning. I want you when I score a goal and when I win trophies. I want you, Bambi."
You sniffle and scratch more insistently at your skin, your wrists this time.
"I miss you sometimes, Mami," You say," But coming back to your house is scary."
"Thank you for being honest, Bambi. You don't have to come home if you don't want to." Alexia forces down tears. "When I next see you, we should go and see Abuela and we'll explain things to you, okay?"
"Okay, Mami."
"Is your train done?"
Your train actually is done so Mami gives it and her mug to the lady who works there to finish off and you both walk outside.
"They should be done in a few days," Mami tells you," And then when I next see you, I'll give you your new train."
"Okay, Mami." Her hand is in yours and you think that is enough for today, pulling your hand away as Jenni turns the corner and lets you run to her.
"Hey," She laughs, swinging you up into her arms," How did it go? Was it fun?"
You don't answer, burying your face into Jenni's neck.
"I..." Alexia says," I think next time when should go to my Mama's...Conversations are...difficult sometimes."
Jenni nods. "I see," She says," Next week, maybe?"
The words are complete autopilot. Alexia hates what she's said the moment they're out of her mouth but they're completely out of habit and she doesn't even think before she speaks.
"We'll see," She says," I'll have to check my schedule." She clamps her mouth shut the moment she says them. "I mean- No, I meant-"
You look resigned, like you are so used to this that it barely effects you but Jenni looks furious. She hefts you up higher in her arms.
"Say goodbye to your Mami, Bambi."
"Bye, Mami."
"Hey...Wait, no, Jenni. I didn't mean-"
"Bambi needs to have a nap," Jenni says," She takes one right after ballet. We changed her schedule for painting today. I should get her home."
Alexia wilts, slouching her shoulders and curling in on herself. "Adios, Bambi. I love you!"
Jenni is already walking around and you don't offer your own I love you in return.
Jenni's steady steps feel nice as she walks you back to Tia Alba's. Your itchiness increases and you scratch more harshly at your neck.
"Ma-Jenni?"
"Yes, Bambi?"
"Can we have cuddles tonight?"
"Of course we can. I love cuddles with my favourite little girl. Are we having them on the sofa after bathtime or in bed together?"
Before Ma-Jenni came home, you slept with your Tia Alba. Now you sleep in the same bed as Ma-Jenni. She's big and strong and she holds you just right. She doesn't let you go the whole night. You go to sleep in her arms and you wake up in her arms.
"Bed cuddles please."
"I love bed cuddles."
You grin. "I love bed cuddles too!"
You scratch at your neck again and Jenni gently pulls your hand away. She frowns, swiping at your skin with her thumb a few times.
"You've got a bit of a rash there, Bambi," She says," We'll have to keep an eye on that."
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barcaatthemoon · 1 month
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just a kid || alexia putellas x teen!reader ||
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you get scared of being kicked out after alexia catches you sneaking out.
you realized as you tried and failed to open the door that you were fucked. for weeks, you had been sneaking out of alexia's to hang out with your girlfriend, and maybe, just maybe, she had finally figured you out. the penthouse apartment was fairly safe, so alexia never locked it. you were locked out of the apartment, and the only way that you'd be able to get back in was with alexia's help.
everything you had ever wanted flashed before your eyes. alexia was sure to kick you out. there was no telling how many times you had snuck out that she knew about already. she was probably on the phone with your parents right now, telling them all about how you'd have to go back home because you were nothing except for a disgrace.
your chest tightened more than it ever had before. your hand flew up to clutch it to relieve some of the pressure, but it was no use. you crumpled down onto your knees, thudding against the door. if alexia hadn't known you were there before, she probably did after that. you couldn't bring yourself to stand up and run away, instead just kneeling in front of the door as tears poured out from your eyes. you couldn't do anything except for cry silently as it felt like all the air was being forced out of your body.
"(y/n)?" it wasn't alexia's voice that you heard at first. that was somewhat of a godsend, but if alexia had called mapi and ingrid over, she knew you were gone. "(y/n)? alexia, come help me get her up!"
"up?" alexia's voice was full of concern, but all you heard was anger. they knelt down and pulled you up onto your feet. gently, the both of them moved you onto the couch next to where mapi was resting. you curled up into a ball the moment their hands left you, but this time, you felt mapi's hand on your back rubbing little circles.
"come over here, i think you're freaking her out. let mapi calm her down, okay?" ingrid gently moved alexia into the kitchen. all she wanted was to go over there and check on you, but she knew that ingrid was right. the two of you got along well, but alexia had definitely been strict with you. she wanted you to be the best version of yourself that you could be, but in that, she had forgotten that you were still a kid, only 15 when you had moved in with her.
"i didn't do this to her, did i?" alexia asked as she peeked her head around the corner. you were breathing a little better, but all that meant was that you were openly sobbing into mapi's lap now. her hand had moved up from your back to your hair, scratching at your scalp lightly as she told you that it was okay. they were only there to help alexia figure out where you might have gone.
"you can't think like that right now because you'll only make yourself upset, and she'll think that you're mad at her. remember that she just turned 16, that's not barcelona's youngest player out there, it's a scared child. don't be a coach, mentor, or her guardian right now, ask her who she needs and give her that."
"i'll try," alexia promised. ingrid let go of her, but stood by the entryway of the kitchen anyway. mapi seemed to take the hint and slowly separated herself from you on the couch. she pressed a kiss to the top of your head before she was completely gone. "(y/n), chiquitita, look at me."
"i don't want to go," you mumbled, the words extremely muffled by the couch cushion your face was pressed against. alexia knew that it was potentially dangerous, but she pulled you back so that you were laying in her arms instead. it proved to be a little bit of a mistake because alexia's heart clenched when she saw how hard you had been crying. even worse than that was the look of sheer terror on your face. "please don't make me leave. i can't face them as a failure."
"i-," alexia started. her voice cracked almost immediately, causing both ingrid and mapi to move in. this time, ingrid was the one comforting you while mapi took alexia back to the kitchen. once she was away from you, alexia practically fell into mapi's arms in a fit of tears. "why does she think that i'd just send her away? have i been that cold to her? should i have even offered to take her?"
"hey, don't think like that. she's just scared, so her brain is going to the worst possible scenario, okay?" mapi reassured alexia. she pulled the taller woman into a hug. "calm yourself down, let ingrid work her magic, and then we can all sit down and talk, okay?"
"okay," alexia agreed. she got herself a glass of water, gulping it down quickly to help her breathe properly. the two of them gave ingrid some time with you before coming back out. you were still sniffling, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before.
"please do not make me go back to my parents. this feels like my home now. i'm happier here than i have been anywhere else. i won't sneak out again, i promise," you rambled. it wasn't as prepared as it felt when you went over it with ingrid. alexia swallowed back a few tears as she knelt in front of you, ignoring the slight discomfort it caused in her knee.
"i wouldn't do that, not over something so small. you're a kid, and sometimes i forget that, but i promise that you doing something every other kid in the world does isn't going to make me ship you back home. besides, i like having you here too much," alexia said as she cradled your face. your eyes lit up, and alexia couldn't help but smile at the genuine excitement and relief on your face. "i shouldn't keep you holed up in here all the time, it's not healthy for either of us. can i ask what you were doing?"
"i guess it's only fair. i was only going to be out for a little while on a walk, but i got kind of distracted," you admitted. mapi brushed your hair away from your neck, revealing the hickey there to alexia, whose grip tightened for a moment before she caught herself.
"where did you get that?" alexia was careful to keep her tone teasing to hide the genuine protectiveness in her voice. you didn't need to hear anything that remotely resembled aggression from her for the rest of the week.
"oh my god!" ingrid exclaimed as she pushed past alexia and mapi to inspect it. your brows furrowed as you looked between the three women in front of you.
"what?" you asked.
"you've got a hickey, chiquitita," mapi told you. you shot away from all of them and ran over to the mirror to check on it. a blush rose up to your cheeks the moment that your eyes landed on the mark.
"i can explain," you said quickly.
"no need, we're all adults here. besides, you should have seen the marks that one and jenni used to show up to practice with," mapi teased. alexia punched her friend before she walked over to you to lead you back over to the couch.
"you're really not mad at me for sneaking out to go see a girl? we did walk through the park, we also just stopped at a bench to look at the lights too. she didn't let me walk back, i swear," you said. alexia smiled, glad that you had been smart. obviously you seemed to know this girl, even if it was more than what alexia was genuinely okay with for you.
"everything is fine, but you should let her know that we are getting lunch after practice and your classes tomorrow. if she's leaving marks like that on your neck, i think i should make sure that she's good for you," alexia said. you knew that there was more to it than that, but you weren't scared. you knew that your girlfriend was a good person, one who treated you how ingrid treated mapi. she was a little older, but you hoped that wouldn't be an issue for alexia since it was just barely over a year.
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mpileons · 2 months
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behind the goal posts | alexia putellas x reader
chapter 1 <
Summary: Everyone knows Alexia Putellas. Star football player and the face of Barcelona. However, what they don’t know is that she is been in a secret relationship for years, and that relationship is slowly slipping out of her hands.
Word Count: 2.8K
A/N: i got a bit too carried w/ the angst.. oops. and i didnt proof read this so i apologize for any inevitable mistakes :)
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Chapter Two …
Present Day – 
As 12AM hits, I find myself still waiting for Ale to come home from training. I decide to call my bestfriend to prevent my thoughts from further spiralling. “Hey chica, wait what's up?” my best friend's voice blares through my headphones as a frown etches onto her face, sensing that something is off with me. “Did she do something?” I start to shake my head because I know if I speak my voice will betray me and all my anxieties will be laid bare for her to see. It’s not that I don't want her to see, more that I don't want to acknowledge any of this. I’d like to believe that Alexia and I are still in that honeymoon, that she’ll come home early and shower me with kisses while we make dinner,that we will go back to watching films while our limbs intertwined till we didn't know whose body is whose. I know deep down that we have derailed so far away, we are slowly plummeting into an abyss of resentment and I don't know how to save us. “Y/N please talk to me” Kira’s voice brings me back to earth, I see the anxiety increasing tenfold on her face as she watches me intently. “I don't know," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper as I fiddle with the strings of my hoodie. 
"It's just... Ale was out late last night, and she's still not home. And she's been so distant lately. It’s like I am living with a ghost,  I can't shake this feeling that something's wrong." I rush out as quickly as humanly possible, as if I say it fast enough my brain won’t think about it and therefore it won’t become real.
“That’s strange, have you brought it up with her?” Kira's voice held a gentle probing, her concern evident. But then again, I couldn't fault her for that. Our nightly chats had become a lifeline, teetering on the edge of panic. It's strange, really. Ale used to be the one to ease these moments, but now, it's her actions that stir them up.
Present Day | Alexia’s Point of View —
As I step into the dimly lit apartment, the sharp remnants of the night at the club are still echoing in my mind. However, the laughter and camaraderie of my teammates felt distant now, replaced by a hollow emptiness.
I moved through our shared apartment with a sense of detachment, a space that was once so familiar now feels like a ghost town. The weight of exhaustion drags at my limbs as I head towards our room. But as I pass by the closed door, I can hear a snippet of a conversation that catches my attention, drawing me to a sudden halt.
"... it's strange how Ale used to calm me down from these attacks and now it is her that is causing them," Y/N's voice, tinged with worry and frustration, drifted through the door, sending a pang of unexpected guilt coursing through my chest.
For a moment, I stood rooted to the spot, Y/N’s words hanging heavy in the air like an accusation. The weight of her evident disappointment bores down on me like a crushing weight, quickly suffocating and stealing every word out of my mouth. How had I become the source of Y/N's pain, when did this happen?
Without another word, I retreated to the living room where the walls feel like they are closing in around me as the echoes of Y/N's words reverberated in my mind.  Hours passed in agonising silence, the tension in the apartment thickening with each passing moment. And then, as if on cue, the dam burst.
Present Day | Y/N’s Point of View —
I took tentative steps to the living room to check if Ale had come home, the faint scent of alcohol hanging in the air further proving that she’s back.  
As I rounded the corner, my gaze fell upon Alexia slumped on the couch with her head bowed and a half-empty bottle of whiskey clenched tightly in her hand. Her usually vibrant eyes were now dull and unfocused, the lines of exhaustion etched into her features.
A sudden surge of anger and frustration takes over my body. I naively thought that maybe today would be different, that today Ale would come to me instead of seeking comfort from a bottle.
But as I stood in front of Ale and truly take in the sight in front of me, a different surge of emotions come. I am quickly overwhelmed with a wave of guilt as I watch the woman I love more than anything crumble beneath the weight of her own self-destructive tendencies. No matter what I try to do or say, nothing can seem to get through the indestructible walls she had built around herself, the walls she once used to let down around me. 
All of a sudden, I couldn't muster up any anger towards the woman who firmly held my heart in her grasp. I could shove aside my own emotions, even if it meant indulging in self-destructive tendencies, just to care for her. 
"Ale," My voice was soft, barely more than a whisper as if my words would fracture her even further. I slowly approached the couch, my heart aching with a pain I couldn't name. "What happened tonight?" I asked while tentatively taking the bottle out of her grasp.
Alexia's head snapped up at the sound of my voice, her eyes glazed and distant as she struggled to focus on me, an effect from her excessive drinking that has become more familiar to me than I’d like. "Nothing," she muttered, her voice slurred with the aftereffects of alcohol. "Just... just another night out with the girls."
My eyes furrow with concern, I try to find any piece of the woman I loved, the woman who would buy me new flowers immediately after the previous flowers died, the woman who would wake up earlier before practice just to spend time with me, the woman who would bring me food to the library while I was drowning in assignments. But all I could see was the shell of that woman. All I could was emptiness and it was killing me. She was killing herself while clutching my heart within her hands, bringing me down with her. 
My voice trembled with disappointment as I settled beside Alexia on the couch, the tension between us crackling like electricity. The atmosphere in the room felt heavy, suffused with the weight of unspoken grievances and broken promises. "You promised, Ale," I began, my tone beginning to edge with unbearable frustration as I decide to confront her broken vows. "You swore you'd try to get better, that you wouldn't let this control you anymore. That you would try for me, for us."
Alexia's eyes flashed with a mix of shame and defiance, her fingers stealing the bottle from my hands and tightening around the bottle in her hand as she clearly tried to brace herself for the impending conflict. The lines etched on her face increased tenfold. "I know," she admitted, her voice strained with the evident weight of her own struggles. "But it's not as simple as just trying, Y/N. You don't understand how hard it is. You just don’t."
My patience waned quickly as I met Alexia's gaze, my own resolve beginning to falter under the weight of our unresolved issues. "I'm trying to understand, Alexia," I defiantly retorted, my voice rising slightly with frustration. "But how can I when you won't let me in? You keep shutting me out, pushing me away every time I try to help."
A spark of anger ignited within Alexia's eyes as she rose to meet my challenge, her own frustrations bubbling to the surface. "Maybe if you actually understood what I'm going through, you'd realise that I'm not doing this to hurt you," she shot back, her voice tinged with bitterness. "I'm doing this because I can't bear to see you disappointed in me again."
The raw emotion in Alexia's words further broke my heart, the sting of guilt mixing with her own simmering anger. "I know, but you promised, Alexia," I murmured, my tone quiet  but sharp with anger, "It just seems like you don't care about keeping your word anymore. You're drowning yourself in alcohol, and you're dragging us down with you."
I can see Alexia's gaze harden, her own frustration boiling over as she shot back once again, Never one to back down. “Don't act like you're perfect, Y/N. You're always on my case, like you have it all figured out. But guess what? You don't. You never have."
I clench my jaw as I fight to keep my temper in check, I know that Alexia isnt in the right state for this discussion, but her words hold some flicker of truth which is why the words spill out despite my best efforts. "I may not understand everything you're going through, but at least I'm trying. What about you, Ale? Are you even trying anymore, or have you just given up once again?"
The accusation struck a nerve, and Alexia's temper flared, her voice rising to match my intensity. "Of course, I'm trying!" she exclaimed, her hands balling into fists at her sides. "But it's not enough for you, is it? Nothing I do is ever enough!"
My eyes flash with hurt and indignation while my voice trembles with emotion. "That's not true, Ale," I protest, my heart aching at the sight of the woman I adore unravelling right before my eyes. "I just want you to be happy, but I can't stand by and watch you destroy yourself. I can't do it anymore when it is destroying me further knowing I can’t help you despite my best attempts to."
Tears welled in Alexia's eyes as she struggled to contain her rising emotions, the weight of their argument bearing down on her like a crushing weight. "I don't know how to be happy anymore, Y/N," she admitted, her voice breaking with despair. "I feel like I'm drowning, and I can't find a way out."
The distance between us grew with each passing minute, each second driving a deeper wedge between our fractured hearts. And during the chaos of our bitter exchange, I just had a sinking feeling that my love might not be enough to save us from the impending darkness that I know will consume us completely, sooner or later.
Exhausted and emotionally drained, my voice immediately softened, a tremor of uncertainty lacing my words as I try to grind the words I thought I’d never say out loud, not to Alexia, not even in a million years or in a hundred different universes did I think I’d say this to her.. "Maybe... maybe we need some time apart," I suggest, the weight of the admission heavy on my tongue.
Alexia's breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening in disbelief at the suggestion. "A break?" she echoed, the word heavy with resignation and a hint of desperation.
I nod, my own heart aching at the realisation that our relationship might be hanging by a thread. "Just... for a little while," I murmur, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. "To figure things out."
6 Months Ago | Alexia’s Point of View —
As the sun set over the horizon, casting hues of pink and gold across the sky, I led Y/N to a secluded spot in the park since I decided to surprise her with a special outing to a drive-in cinema. I see her eyes widen in surprise at the sight of twinkling fairy lights strung between the trees and a soft glow emanating from a cluster of candles.
With a nervous but determined smile, I take Y/N's hand and lead her to a cozy spot in front of the car. We start to settle onto a blanket spread out in the back of the car, the air filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the distant sound of birds chirping.
As we cuddle together under the starlit sky, the screen flickers to life with the opening scenes of "La La Land," Y/N's favorite film, I had put that somewhere in the depths of my mind when she told me, knowing it will somehow be important later on.
During an especially poignant moment in the film, I reach into a nearby picnic basket and pull out a carefully crafted scrapbook that took me longer than I’d like to admit. After all I am athlete not an artsy person. But for her, it’s all worth it.
I watch as she curiously flips through the pages, her eyes widening in surprise and delight as she sees photos of our many movie nights together, interspersed with handwritten notes and film strips capturing precious moments we’ve shared over the last few months.
My hands start to lightly tremble while I intertwine Y/N's hand with mine, as I feel her hand fitting perfectly into mine, a warmth spreads through me, comforting the trembles that threaten to give away my nerves. "Y/N," I start, my voice barely above a whisper but laced with the depth of my feelings, "I never imagined that one person could fuel my heart with such love and devotion, I can’t even imagine my life without by my side and I ..."
Y/N's eyes meet mine, shimmering with unshed tears of happiness. Without a word, her gentle nod speaks volumes, affirming the depth of her love and commitment. "Yes, Ale," she murmurs, her voice a soft caress against the night air, "I choose you, now and forever."
Present day | Y/N’s Point of View —
Before I can even take a step forward, a familiar blonde head of hair envelops me, momentarily throwing off my balance. "Geez, Leah, trying to knock me over?" I chuckle, returning the embrace of my lifelong friend. Football was never my thing before Ale, but Leah and I go way back to our days in the primary school astronomy club, and our bond has only grown stronger since then. Proving our friendship to be stronger than any time zone or country.
"How do you manage to shrink every time I see you? Is there something in the water in Barca?" Leah teases as she takes my luggage from my grasp and leads the way to her car. I just shake my head at her usual antics, gazing out at the Heathrow Airport parking lot. London. I haven’t been back home in years, never felt the need to with Ale around, but now that I've lost her, it feels like I've lost my home along the way as well. The realization hits me like a punch to the gut, leaving me feeling nauseous. In just a few days, I've lost everything that mattered.
Hours later, after battling the infamous London traffic, we finally arrive at my flat. It's a sad time capsule of my past life. Remnants of old friendships and memories linger in every corner, a stark reminder that while I've changed, the world around me has kept on spinning. That time waits for no one, and as I sink deeper into my thoughts, Leah's concerned voice breaks through the silence. "Are we going to talk about it, or are we gonna keep pretending like nothing's happened?" she asks, her honesty cutting through the tension. I join her on the couch, resting my head on her shoulder with a heavy sigh. "I don’t know," I admit, uncertainty weighing heavily on my mind.
“Cmon, as your favourite bestfriend I think i deserve more honesty than that.” She tries to lightly joke, but I know her words hold some level of honestly. And the words hit me harder than I expected, and for a moment, I find myself at a loss for words. She's always been there for me, through the good times and the bad, but this... this feels different. It's not just a bump in the road; it's a complete upheaval of everything I thought I knew. I know nothing anymore.
"I know," I finally say, my voice barely above a whisper. "It's just... it's all so overwhelming, you know? I thought I had everything figured out, but now... now I don't know what to do."
Leah quickly wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer in a comforting embrace. "It's okay not to have all the answers," she reassures me, her voice soft but firm. "Just take it one step at a time. We'll figure it out together. You still have me no matter what. You know that.”
I nod, grateful for her words of wisdom. But even as I try to take comfort in her presence, a nagging feeling of unease lingers at the back of my mind. How do you move forward when everything you once knew has been shattered right in front of you? Where do you even begin?
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daniswoso · 4 months
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Infatuation P2.
Alexia Putellas x Reader.
Warnings: both AP and r being idiots in love.
Summary: part 2 to ‘Infatuation’.
*******
It’s been a week since you and Alexia had shared that bottle of whiskey, a week since you admitted you used to have feelings for your best friend, a week since she had started to ignore you.
You finally managed to track her down when Barcelona resumes training after the international break, which you hadn’t been called up for due to a calf injury.
“Alexia!” You yelled, running after her. You heard her sigh and grumble under her breath, before turning to you and giving a sheepish smile.
“Oh, Y/N, hey-“ you cut her off with a scoff. “What?” She asked, her brows furrowed with a frown settling on her features.
“Don’t ‘hey’ me! You fucking dick! You’ve been ignoring me ever since we shared that bottle of whiskey! Do you- do you hate me or something?” You asked, and despite how mad you felt at the arrogance on your best friend’s part, you really were fearful that she hated you.
Her eyes widened, almost comically, something you would’ve laughed at if the situation hadn’t been so difficult. “No! No- what? No!” She insists, putting a hand on your shoulder.
Your mouth goes dry and you nod mindlessly, the singular touch from the woman enough to make your knees weak. Maybe you weren’t as over her as you thought..
“Well then what’s up with you? You never ignore me. Not even when you’re mad!” You yelled, despite the blush on your cheeks and Alexia’s thumb rubbing your shoulder you managed to keep your composure.
“I- I can’t- I don’t-“ She cut herself off with a groan, shaking her head and running her hands through her hair, before standing up straight and turning away from you with her hands on her waist.
“Putellas. Don’t ignore me.”
“I’m not.”
“Then speak to me!”
“I love you!”
She yelled, and it shuts your mouth as she turns back to you, her eyes teary.
“I love you. I love you the way you used to love me and I know there is no point in telling you but I do. God, I really really do and-“
Your lips were on her’s. Your lips melded with hers perfectly, moving against each other in sync as if they were made for each other. As if you were made for eachother.
“Te quiero también, Alexia.” (I love you too, Alexia.)
She breathed heavily, grinning. “Yeah?”
“I never stopped.”
*****
A/N: enjoy!
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