#aaaa you know what ? fuck it
Text
hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP
#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI#hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA#(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent#he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy#cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me#its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird#idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on#a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but#STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also#i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it#look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could#make me worse <3 I Want Him#and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3#i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER#OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really#GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like i lost my touch for gore so i try to look up art to inspire me but then i just get stuck scrolling. Do you understand my troubles.
#maybe i haven't lost my touch maybe i just need to#fix the previous few sentences. you know how they say. maybe you're not stuck maybe you just fucked up the previous sentence#aaaa yknow what i'm gonna skip the build-up and immediately write the juicy scenes#and then figure out a way to bridge them
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinkin back to the rggo story where mine saves daigo after he gets kidnapped because daigo thought kiryu was in danger and mine immediately scolds him for acting recklessly and daigo’s just ‘no one’s ever stood up to me before aside from kashiwagi’ and how that calls back to daigo’s Y0 substory where kiryu tells him only true friends will stand up to him and put him in his place and im--
#snap chats#'i'm going to be normal' WELL I WAS LYING. LIKE A LIAR. WHO LIES.#ill go in my kitchen in a sec im just. I'm Just.#*gross sobbing*#rgg really made up for Y3's Everything by giving the rggo stories and im so serious about this#people I Am Also A Part Of People complained about not being able to see mine and daigo together much and see their friendship#and.... the rggo stories..... bro theyve been fueling me for months..... im so ill......#BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH THATS WHY I GET INSANE OVER DAIGO'S Y0 SUBSTORY TOO#like daigo just wanted- NEEDED real friends who would ACTUALLY be there for him for him#not for his status or money or any of that superficial shit#it genuinely makes me happy how dedicated mine is to daigo like No Shit but it's just. *crying*#i love how mine does tell daigo when he fucks up though i love that so much#like mine's such a funny character... he's so cynical yet when he gets the chance to pour his heart out he does#he meant it when he said he didn't take sharing a cup lightly and /i/ want to eat a cup because of it#THIS IS THE SAME SUBSTORY WHERE MINE BUYS A STOCK IN EVERY TAXI COMPANY LIKE DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN#ALL OF THAT JUST TO BE ABLE TO FIND DAIGO#dear god dont get me started on the hamazaki/mine rggo story. oh my god it's THAT but 10 billion i'm going to throw up#i'm just. i HAVE to go into my kitchen or i'll end up typing another essay jesus CHRIST#LIKE AGAIN I FEEL LIKE IM NOT SAYING WHAT I WANT OR GETTING MY POINT ACROSS BUT AAAA#i just need everyone to know i AM still ill over them i just havent had time or many ideas to sit and draw/write something
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Seething as I realise how much they did indeed copy Korrasami, both Dark Horse kiss and Spirit Portal ending. Seething as I realise it's ten years of that fucking colour show, and Korrasami happened before this managed to even be conceptualised. Seething.
#text_iris#eVEN THE COLOURS. FUCK#I am just. Mad#I imprinted on LoK and Zuko (I blame Blue and the Art of Burning for this) and seeing THIS is just aaaa#Like fuck! Colour show WISH they could have as complex and complicated villains as LoK!#Like! Amon Unalaq Zaheer and Kuvira are all complex and complicated villains! With their own ideals and goals!#Like fuck! Zaheer helping Korra in the fourth season is SO GOOD and Kuvira giving herself up! Colour show WISH they could write this good!#Like! Part of me is CONVINCED they saw Vatuu and based Salem off of him like Vatuu came first!#Just!! Aaaa!! Rage!!!#And thinking about that Hbomb video that opened my eyes to how much this how copies ATLA#Urghhhhh anger#Fuckkk you know what I realised#They wanted Ironwood to be a Kuvira. Without understanding why Kuvira WORKS and how she was ALWAYS set up to be like that#And Ironwood WASN'T. Kuvira was set out to fall into an Imperial control freak mindset. Having her Foster Mother be so Anti Monarchy#(And Suyin being SO passionate about her beliefs and Kuvira feeling SO MUCH sets it up so well!!)#But Ironwood WASN'T set up for it! He was a disabled man who wanted to protect people! He never in the first volumes showed a control freak-#-tendency. Kuvira DID and DOES. Her 'protecting' hinges on her having FULL control. To the point of sacrificing her one love#Like!! Seeing more and more of these similarities makes me pissed I ever once liked the colour show!!#Because it tricked me! It used things I was familiar with and loved to lure me in and theN DID EVERYTHING BAD#URGH I should use this energy for my bachelor's thesis instead I'm ranting about a stupid rt show#It's SO BAD and I am ANGRY and I wish this show to cease from my thoughts#Anyway go watch ATLA and LOK they're so much better
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
The six teen demo is turning off my impulse control and I just cannot make another blog, but my brain... why can't I hold all these muses... there isn't even fandom yet get a grip aaaaaa
#[ out of cells ] (ooc)#I even have a potential blog name in mind#and you know what that means omfg#but I literally cannot keep up with all of these blogs while training for a job#am I mad do I love to self-destruct aaaa#I held back from watching trailers but I COULD NOT go without playing the demo and FUCK#nothing related to cod I know I just want to scream about it on every blog cause why not
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
rereading a fic (bc i'm trying to typeset it so i can print it before my parents come back from their trip) and UGH it's so good
#IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE EXPERIENCED WRITER'S ENVY BUT HOLY FUCKING GOD I AM EXPERIENCING WRITER'S ENVY (GOOD)#only tangentially related but i don't really get fic writers who like. do preorders n stuff to get their fics professionally printed#like i know that not everyone is physically able to do what i do (typeset fics then print them n then bind them by hand)#but the idea of going to like. idk what people use tbh but something not fan-owned (i.e. mlp is an exception to this)#to print their fics feels... not quite right to me in the same way that the proliferation of hyper-professional zines in fandom#feels not quite right to me n even downright commodifying in some ways#the other day i was in a call w/a kouhai from high school n i mentioned i mailed out some calligraphy i did for a fic the other day#n she was like 'did you at least get paid for it?' n i gave her a five-minute lecture on the gift economy of fandom#n how as part of trying to uphold that ideal i do not take money for fandom projects whatsoever#ANYWAY i forgot how good of fics i've read for xv before... or well i knew they were good but i forgot abt the writer's envy lol#i kind of wanna experience this more bc AAAA I WANNA WRITE THAT BEAUTIFULLY#花話
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
OH OH just realized my Oda-coded friend ,, actually ??? shares a birthday with him wow this will have No Impact on my wellbeing At All ?!???uhashhh?
#vent in tags (kinda)#cw death#If u don't know (some kite lore for you all)#I had a friend who passed away a bit ago#we have the exact same age different as O/da and D/zai and were basically the exact same ages when he passed as they were and uhh#he reminds me a lot of o/da just in general idk#one of my longest friends and I miss him dearly I think abt him almost everyday#sorry this got heavy aaaa uhh anyway-#ive been preparing for his birthday cuz its coming up soon-#I was gonna draw a memorial piece of d/zai visiting o/da's grave on his birthday being like in honor of my friend#but I then I saw a post that mentioned o/da's birthday and holy fucking shit?!??!?!?!?#THATS THE SAME FUCKING DAY??#what the fuck#this is fucking me up low-key aaaaaaaa#I don't kin d/zai but im convinced the universe wants me too leave me alone pls stop taking my friends <//3
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#so i have bad news tht im too sad to share rn.#🥹 it'll be ok... just... aaaa....#man am i rly hurt and then it gets worse bc my mom has no respect for me as a person#she comes over unannounced and yells performatively w/ windows rolled down#acting like she cares when she doesn't give 2 shits once eyes aren't on ber#ty for reading sorry it wasn't very happy#my chest hurts#kinda just sitting here don't know what to do#mom came over trying to shove some food in my face (that comes with an unspoken catch where she gets to abuse me and justify it#bc 'look how much i do for you!!!')#i rejected it and she kept asking invasive questions#like whos driving me amd and what my weekly schedule is and will be for the next few months#she asked if i was hanging with xyz probs so she could go drive around their house/stake it out 🙄#in hopes of seeing me and pulling some fucked up humiliating stunt#she kept telling me tht her withholding my legal documents and mail from me is justified???#like wtf stop trying to take away my agency i am a fully competent grown ass person#and i dont welcome her manipulation disguised as help. i hate it dude#ty guys for all the helpfulness and kindness#ty guys for not taking advantage of a desperate situation#i acknowledge the selfless sacrifice and it means so much#truly just wanting to help#no other motives...#i wish it was like that irl#i told her what she's doing is illegal and she can literally tell it to authorities#dENY ME MY RIGHTS AGAIN 🤬 GRRRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRG BARK BARK BARK BEGONE!!!!
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
EVIILLL (i love that) BUT do they still make out WAYYYY longer then needed even if they're broken up?
oh, Certainly, darling. ;)
here’s the reference post for context.
and actually, that whole music video scene/side plot lives so rent free in my head, that i…started writing it out as a little mini para? i just miss writing stuff and wanted to do something fun and dramatic and spicy with legit crazy amounts of emotional/sexual tension in it.
because…oooough my god, i just know jersey was annoying and extra as FUCK that whole time. which, while diabolical, is also a very bold move bc stan was not speaking to him, like, At All and had no intentions to but kyle, conversely was extremely desperate speak to him so…he saw his opportunity and he took it, baby!
my man was Working! It! every angle, throwing his head back, his jawline could cut glass, his hair was so luxurious i bet it smelled so good, his like billowy tunic thing was falling over his shoulder, which has so many freckles on it…all while he was winking and waving his pretty long ass fingers at stan, smiling evilly.
— and when kyle does the things he did to him as raven back to him, it’s so funny to me because stan had to be blackout drunk and try really hard to exert that level of sex appeal as the biggest boyfailure on planet earth, but jersey quite literally is just That Bitch, does not need to try at all, can do it ten times better and it’s one hundred times more effective on ravenstan —
who is probably in hair in makeup, gripping the table so hard, trying to be unbothered when he’s SO bothered, hot and otherwise, shaking so much the hair and makeup team are like “you need to stay still.”
like stay still???? STAY STILL??? bitch! could you stay still if literally your ex super best boyfriend and the hottest person on planet earth is trying to eye!fuck! you! during the shoot for YOUR MUSIC VIDEO??? which i know that was extra stressful bc it was stan’s music video so it was his concept so he designed his own hell and built it around kyle and wanting to see kyle do it, so he literally played himself, rip bestie.
a mess…a MEEESSS.
and after all that happens which, whEw! a lot was happening, it was Very Ungentlemanly And Depraved, there were a lot of hands…in places that polite young man’s hands should not be…but when they pulled off i Swear kyle was smirking lookin sooo smug and satisfied, absolutely shameless, abt to try and go in for another one like literally tucking stan’s hair behind his ear, like skating his nail down his jaw line slowly and stan was SEETHING. i mean mad mad MAD!!! and stan never gets mad. like he stormed the hell out of there slammed the door And Everything before screaming into his hands.
free ravenstan, stop the violence jersey!!! you know my man is a pacifist and can’t fight back. :/
p.s. pls note that ravenstan looks like a slutty punk rock crimson dawn virgin sacrifice version of victor van dort in corpse bride but like more red than blue bc of raven stans angst divorce hair…do we…do we see the vision? there’s a vision and in it stan looks extremely pretty, wide eyed, easily corrupted & biteable. <3
#oh my god literally this entire thing is a mess#like the fact that ravenstan probably had an extremely vivid sexually charged dream about this#was like hm what if i make it a music video and pretend like its beautiful artistry when i really just want to see kyle#dressed like a sexy sexy vampire and do bad things to me#LKHDLKHSHSLSKHS JAIIIILLLLL#but like then takes literally the fattest l on planet earth bc he literally built his own hell like he fucked up so badly#he did not think kyle was gonna show he thought he was gonna cancel like literally stan wanted to call in sick but its HIS MV???#and jimmy and kenny are like are you okay can you do this and hes like duh yeah ofc im a professional i dont even car--#literally walks into jERSEY and who just winks and says Watch Where Ya Flyin’ Angel ;) HDSLKS HE WANTED TO DIEEE#AAAA WATCH WHERE UR FLYING ANGEL IS SOOO SICK OF HIM LIKE I AM IN SHOCK I WOULD FALL TO MY KNEES#LIKE KYLE PLEASE STOP RIZZING HIM HES SO WEAK HE WAS BREATHING SO HEAVILY JIMMY WAS PATTING HIM ON THE BACK#WITH HIS CRUTCH LIKE THERE THERE BUDDY KSHDLKDS#amazing i...am gonna write it i want to laugh and cry#jersey kyle is too good at this like hes so powerful#they looked good i know they looked good anyways do we see the vision are we obsessed i want the copy of the mv#but like the xxx directors cut where stan and kyle makeout for like several minutes and knock everything over#thank you for coming to my ted talk#also i wrote this ask meme bc i was just talking to rp about it and i literally got so unhinged help akshdlksad
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I FINALLY FINISHED READING TGCF AND HOOOO MY DIANXIA I AM GOING FERAL OVER THESE MARRIED IDIOTS FKSJDFLJHFKDGG
#how did i manage to read 5 books in the span of two weeks while having classes you ask? by not sleeping of course ((-:#i rlly thought the fandom was just exaggerating when they make hc super flirty BUT I WAS SO WRONG#HUA CHENG HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SHAME WHEN ITS ABOUT HIS GEGE AND I SUPPORT HIM 100%#literally spent 800 years devoted to lie xian at his best and at his worst moments even tho lx didnt even recognize him im gonna fuckin cry#also as much as i love hc ngl that cave in mt tong'lu? kinda creepy there crimson rain sought flower... fx and mq were kinda valid there#aaaa i really wanted more resolution on the xianle trio's relationship ESPECIALLY the shit that happened in book4 but i guess#'i really wanted to be your f-f-f-f-friend' over a lava pit while fighting stupid plague mask is closure enough :')#OH YOU KNOW WHO DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH CLOSURE?! SHI QINGXUAN#MY BELOVED WINDMASTER AND GENDERFLUID GOD ICON#HOW DARE THEY JUST NOT SHOW US THE WHOLE HX/SQX RESOLUTION WTF!!!!#i've been fooled by the fandom hhhh i thought it was like canon or smthn considering how popular the ship was and when i read the book i wa#like wtf???? this is really messed up holy shit ???? it wasnt even either of their faults it was fucking swd bc he loved his brother but#ended up messing up hx's life like what??? sqx didnt even know abt it and then hx went and deceived them and now my heart is BROKEN#but then he returned his fan at the end so i???? just need some resolution PLEASE i need a 50kwords fix it fic RIGHT NOW#aaaa also yessss im so excited to be able to read fics now without the fear of being spoiled fhkshfks#next up im finally gonna read mo dao zu shi but maybe after like 2 weeks bc i need some time to fully bask in tgcf first hehe#THEN REN ZHA FANPAI ZIJIU XITONG#yes im gonna read all of mxtx's novel series in the wrong order oops sjhfkfghfj#tgcf read
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
feeling a little bonkers overall thinking back on my first big fandoms, and i sort of really want to draw these in particular nOW THAT I CAN:
soriku
gaanaru
takari (honestly daiken too tbh)
merthur
(sighs) johndavesprite
post series zuko/aang TBH
#i think one of my big goals in life now is to telepathically link with my teen self and be like. youre gonna be so fucking awesome dude#youre gonna get to write and draw the things you want and actively work on your own projects!!#EVEN THE STUFF YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS TOO COMPLICATED FOR YOU youre slowly doing it!!#and youre gonna be in a happy fulfilling loving relationship where all your little quirks and traits you used to be insecure about#are not just tolerated but actively embraced and cherished#and youre gonna make a home with them!!!#and youre gonna reconnect and restrengthen old friendships now that you know who you are and make new awesome encouraging friends#and its all gonna be so good and sweet#and youre always gonna strive to do better and make what you can better#aaaa
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
authors of our fates / orchestrate our fall from grace / poorest players on the stage / our defiance drives us straight to the edge / a reflection in the glass / recollections of our past / swift as darkness, cold as ash / far beyond this dream of paradise
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#i swear i fucking love ffxiv so much#it means so much to me n oh god the story really captures my heart#hhhh the depth the meaning of the story n the characters#the world of ffxiv! the lore and everything#aaaa i wna work on my ocs again >.>#last year i rmber brainstorming a lot n thinking abt ffxiv#i love all the expansions sm but shb just really is special to me#aaaa i rmber before months back when#i used to really play ffxiv everyday#i miss those days#remembering hurts sm bcs we can't ever repeat and re-experience what has already happened#generally we can make more memories yes. but then there's also. loss. i've experienced that before#not the death yet of anyone i'm personally really close with but. even just never seeing ppl i knew as a kid. or ppl dear to my loved ones#you can't see them ever again. no more memories. n then there's just drifting away with friends#and if you lose contact there's a chance you'll really just never see them ever again#n so i would love to make the most of what time i have.#you never know when people who are so dear to you could just... disappear one day.#not even a goodbye. never will have closure. and you never know if it was just special to you. was it all one-sided?#whenever i think of what's always holding me back i think of who i was back in 2020. i never want that to repeat ever again#all the pain i've experienced... all that emptiness all that fear all that anxiety all that uncertainty all that sadness all that#whenever i struggle i just remember everything. and i always vow to do my best to comfort myself#that's the least i could do for myself.#aaa i got off-topic T_T#but to remember one thing for me means remembering all of it#personally for me i find that everything's connected in a way. to know happiness is to know sorrow.#n stuff like that yeah. n each intensifies the other#it's a weight that we have to bear so long as we're alive. it's heavier but it gets lighter when you're not alone#ah... earlier today i was looking again at some old notes n god those were so lonely and painful to read
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't want to be meeeannn but a freind of mine called himself an anarco-communist and I had to mentally bite my arm because I know, I know he just listened to a youtuber and read V for Vendetta. being an elitist is stupid, especially for this, but please at the very least read Between Peasants or something. don't base your political opinions on a youtuber
#or better something more recent. I don't know what but the anarchist library is right there#or even better go at the local centri sociali lol. I wish they weren't all so far#(<- hasn't done them herself 😔 but hey I'm not calling myself anything)#he's a little confused but he has the spirit. I need to find a way to slide some theory in his dms#the youtuber is morte bianca 💀 if you know you know#it's not just fuck hierarchies it has history and thinking behind it aaaa#v for vendetta is cool but. don't stop at that :(#(morte bianca is also an atrocious source)
0 notes
Text
Wait dude I'm actually so excited to turn 25 soon omg
#gone from my plan to [redacted] if i didnt have a safe place to run from home before my 18th#to whatever sexy deranged mess of a human being ive grown to become now hitting the halfway mark of my twenties#AAAA thats so fucking crazy to me. what i was compared to what i am now. thinking of the trajectory of what i will be. MAN#im so excited for my 30s if im being so fr. and my 40s but one step at a time you know#aging is actually so fun when youre not constantly scared of what comes next
0 notes
Text
this will sound kind of silly but i love how gideon always (or at least most of the time) knows how harrow is feeling <3 like her descriptions are never generic! she's very meticulous about it ajdjsjf because that's what growing up despising someone will do to you!!
#'hating' implies observing said person as we all know so :-)#and i find so fascinating that even tho she's always looking at her she has never seen her without Thee makeup#so she has observed harrow to the point you could say she knows her soul pretty well w/out having ever looked at what's considered#the mirror of our souls and aaaa!!!!!!!! idk it feels important to me because necromancy and all that <3#or well. i mean she Will see her w/out it at some point i'm sure (i hope?) but not at the point where i'm at (page 210) so yeah :-)#also fun fact but the way these books are promoted in spanish is so fucking funny:#'lesbianas en el espacio explorando un palacio' like LMAO EXACTLY#i'm liking it so far so yayyyy!!!!! you go girls keep on subtly taking care of each other through it all!!!!#gideon the ninth#the locked tomb#tlt#dara.t
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
wolveswithblackpearls
Powered By Procrastination
avictimofthejazz
Kyrie Elesion On the Road That I Must Travel
moonsua
justice for weki meki 2024.
sokson
제목 없음
sinfulpisces
Ariel