if i may complain for a bit about something that doesn't actually matter and can be easily avoided. god i hate fics that baby-fy chuuya

Fic Round Up 2018

I did this last year and it was fun, so it’s time to see how this year stands up: 

-Total year-long word count: 291,102 (about 40,000 more than last year)

Word count by fandom: - too lazy to do this but I’m going to assume that almost all of them are BSD 

Fics completed: 56 (down from 65)

*for the fics posted I’ll only post my faves except the chapter fics, which I’ll post all of since there’s not a lot.

Drabbles: - word for a threat that’s also a surprise prompt (skk) - don’t you dare shut me out prompt (skk)  - you’re trembling prompt (atsushi and kyouka friendship)  - what happens if i do this prompt (skk)  - teenage dazai realizes he might like chuuya oh no (skk) - not really a drabble but still a post -- bsd bake off au - chuuaku week day 2: soft (chuuaku)  - things you said when we were the happiest we ever were prompt (chuuaku)  - things you said with no space between us prompt (skk)  - things you said while we were driving (skk)  - things you said after sex prompt (chuuaku) 

Oneshots: - let me help you, skk - Dazai notices Chuuya’s sleeping problems.  - Aftermath, skk - Dazai tells Chuuya about a mission gone wrong.  - are you home?, skk - Chuuya trusts Dazai to help him when he needs it, but not completely.  - the opposite of alone, skk - Chuuya can’t sleep, so he texts Dazai.  - Spiralling, skk - Chuuya always wondered if Corruption would tear him apart.  - hope that something good will happen next, skk - Dazai + Chuuya + talk in a cabin - Constancy, skk - the day Chuuya came home with a diagnosis, Dazai considered moving out. - tired, skk - Dazai hates Chuuya post-Corruption.  - Pick Up the Pieces series, skk - Chuuya gets tortured, he and Dazai decide to help each other. - lend me a shoulder, chuuaku - Dead Apple missing scene where Akutagawa helps Chuuya. - Perseverance, skk - figure skating au part 2, Olympics!  - Satisfaction, skk - figure skating au part 3, Worlds!  - Storm, skk - Dazai and Chuuya and one blanket in a snow storm.  - Yokohama: Unsolved, skk - Dazai and Chuuya are ghost hunters.  - Untraceable Children, skk - Psycho-Pass au, They meet after Chuuya kills an inspector.  - Spilled Ink, skk - parallel universes au feat. the stuff from Beast - Holding Pattern, skk - Never Let Me Go au (organ harvesting rip)  - isn’t life hard, kunichuu - Kunikida thinks Chuuya is a good man. Chuuya knows he isn’t.  - you’re safe here - Atsushi comes out to Dazai.  - Bad Patients, Yosano & Dazai - Yosano treats Dazai.  - At First Sight, skk - First mission fic!  - Fairy Lights, skk - Dazai realizes Chuuya has never celebrated a proper Christmas.  - for one man, sskk - SSKK in the aftermath of Dazia’s death. (Beast au)  - Everybody Lives, kunikidazai - Kunikida believes he can save everyone.  - to satisfaction, chuuya/ango - Ango wants to thank Chuuya.  - Birdsong - When Chuuya was younger, he sang to the moon. (Chuuya & Kyouka siblings) - Never Enough, chuuaku - Chuuya knows what Dazai does to Akutagawa, but he doesn’t know Akutagawa. 

Chapter Fics: - This Autumn Will End - Yosano wants to heal, but all she’s ever known is hurt.  - Fighters, chuuaku - Chuuya and Akutagawa’s developing relationship

Works-in-progress: 3 -Gifted - skk, experimental research facility au - only human, skk - Special Abilities Department Chuuya AU. After Dazai escapes the Port Mafia, Chuuya is sent by the government to gain his trust. 

This year I wrote and posted: 56 fics and 2 in-progress fics 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I never expect to write as much fic as I end up writing. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Some of the gen-fics. 

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? I have a lot of them actually but the ones that come to mind right now are the two later stories in the Revival series because figure skating is fun to write about. The first one was written in 2017 but I put a lot of work into the two that were written in 2018 and I hope to add to the series later. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? The Soukoku Trope Bingo fics and the ADA Week fics (like this one) were all territory I haven’t written for the most part (except the figure skating fic.) This Autumn Will End was also a risk because I’d never written Yosano in that much detail before. I got to know the new characters I was writing a bit more as well as the genres. I also learned that no one likes my kunikidazai LMAO but people are willing to give my lack of knowledge in some areas a pass. I also learned that I can write a lot of things I didn’t think I could. It’s just difficult. 

Your best story of this year: Aside from “only human,” Aftermath. It’s not a big au or even a long fic but I’m proud of it and I think it helped me write more fics this year in which Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship grows to become more trusting. 

Your most popular story of this year: only human, which isn’t surprising! It’s the fic I’ve written the most words for and its a multi-chap so people are exposed to it over and over again. 

Story of yours most under-appreciated by the universe, in your opinion: Everybody Lives. I think this is the one fic where I was nervous about what I was writing but felt tentatively proud of at the same time, but it didn’t get a response. I don’t know if it’s because it’s kunikidazai and not a lot of people are reading it, or if it’s because it’s bad kunikidazai. Either way, I still don’t know whether or not it deserves appreciation but I guess I can say it’s under appreciated. 

Most fun story to write: Yokohama: Unsolved. I mean...any story based on Buzzfeed Unsolved is gonna be a good time. 

Story with the single sexiest moment: adrenaline. Like I said last year, I’m a bad judge of this. This fic doesn’t have any sex in it at all, but listen that scene where Chuuya threatens Ango in Dead Apple...just...yeah. I would pay with my life too. So it’s kind of like that but with a gun.  

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: you know what? Even among the kink bingo fics I never got here. Compared to last year that’s kind of disappointing. 

Story that shifted your own perceptions of the characters: only human made me think about Dazai as a character more and made me realize that I like things about him. 

Hardest story to write: This Autumn Will End (which could also actually go into the category above for Yosano) because I had never written so much about Yosano’s character AND it was long AND it was an au and I didn’t know if people would like it. Also, Holding Pattern was a fic I had to write and erase and rewrite a lot of, more so than other fics. Also Never Enough was part of a rolling remix so figuring out how to remix the fic before it was a bit hard, but once I got an idea things flowed. 

Biggest disappointment: all of the top Chuuya kink bingo fics. Aside from that gunplay fic, I’m perfectly happy forgetting all of those things exist. 

Biggest surprise: Pick Up the Pieces series. Was meant to be a one-shot for whumptober, ended up being skk relationship development and I kind of still think about it and how it fits into other stories and how I’ve characterized Chuuya and Dazai in general. 

Most unintentionally telling story: Only You and Drowning 

Favorite opening line(s): -“I wonder how many times you’re gonna almost-die before someone gets fed up with your shit and lets you.” (Only You)  - “Ghosts don’t exist, but I’m not above using them to scare Chuuya.” - Dazai Osamu, interview, March 2018 (Yokohama: Unsolved) 

Favorite closing line(s): - “Why do I do it? To cope with depression................and it’s fun to see Chuuya get scared!” - Dazai Osamu, interview, June 2018 (Yokohama: Unsolved)  - “In a strange way, despite being a coward, Dazai had also been brave. Chuuya would be brave in his own way, too.” (Holding Pattern)

Favorite 5 line(s) from anywhere: - “No!” Chuuya took a shaky breath. “Of answering questions. Everyone always asks me questions, or tells me what to do, but no one talks to me and I’m tired of it because other people actually talk to each other and I keep seeing it and I want it, but you won’t give it to me.” (only human) - “I’ve never met someone who works so hard,” Dazai continued, “to be the person they want to be.” (Only You)  - “Hello?” Dazai called out. “Is anyone here? We’re a couple of not-scientists and we need someone to explain things to us.” (Yokohama: Unsolved) - “You act like someone who knows how to love.” (Never Enough)  - “He feels oddly detached from his body, the pain and Dazai’s hand around his wrist being the only things really grounding him, keeping him from thinking that maybe he’s just a shell and that Nakahara Chuuya doesn’t exist at all.” (At First Sight) - “Back then, a hand had reached out and freed him.Ever since, he’d had to do pretty much everything himself.” (Pick Up the Pieces, I can’t count LMAO) 

Top 5 scenes from anywhere you would choose to have illustrated from anywhere - Chuuya pointing the Dominator at Dazai in Untraceable Children.  - Chuuya destroying the tank in Pick Up the Pieces.  - Chuuya during or after his free program in Satisfaction.  - The ending scene of lend me a shoulder.  - Dazai and Chuuya with their hot chocolates in Fairy Lights.  - I’m sure there’s more but it’s hard to think. 

Fic-writing goals for next year: Finish only human and/or Gifted and write the mutli-chaptered Psycho-Pass au because I have it all outlined which is a first but I haven’t written it. Also write more skk figure skating fics! I also want to create a world/au that people will be interested in talking about but idk what that is yet because even though I love au’s I’m also not great at that sort of thing.