Lich-Queen pt 3

I stepped forward, sketching a quick curtsey. She returned the gesture with inhuman grace and grabbed my forearms. We shook each other's arms, and I said, in her language, “Welcome, Empress. It is an utmost honour.” 

That statement alone exhausted most of my Cescereli vocabulary, but she seemed delighted by it nonetheless. “You have made an effort to learn my people's tongue,” she exclaimed. “I am impressed.”

From a spirit, and from their God-Empress, that was high praise indeed. I tried not to melt with delight. “Please, have some refreshments,” I said, switching back to trade-tongue. Compelling a revenant to bring some shrimp over, I left her to coo over the food with her entourage, a crew of heavily scarred spirit women, who, while small, looked like they could have taken down a dragon without breaking a sweat.

I turned back to the shifters, but they had disappeared into the crowd. The number of people had been growing steadily, I realised. It was a minor effort not to crumble and flee, for fear that someone would stop and mock me, so out of place in this hall of grace was I. 

As I scanned the milling inhumans for them, a man approached me. He could have easily blended into any group, with his generic dark hair and classical suit, save for his eyes. They were a mismatched yellow and purple, giving him a startling appearance. The Chosen of a god, perhaps. I plastered a welcoming grin onto my face, and he returned it with a genuine smile, unnerving eyes brimming with friendliness. 

“I represent Lord Ako,” he told me, before I had to hazard a guess as to his identity. “I wished to warn you of something. Do not take up the shifters' offer. It may be alluring, to bring carnage to those who wronged you, but it will be your downfall.”

Lord Ako was the God of Chaos and Evil, as far as I could recall. Ceredell had been no friend to his followers, and I had extended an invitation to him on the basis that he was an enemy of my enemy. From my limited knowledge of his theology, he had no reason to warn me off from causing carnage. He was a god of evil, after all. By all reasoning, he should have been pro-murder-all-humans.

I told his envoy so, and the man pursed his lips. His purple eye blinked, like a wink, before the golden one followed. “Not all gods were born as such, little Iraela,” he said, a hint of sadness in his honey-voice. “And for all that I- I mean, Ako is the God of Evil, he has no wish to see innocents be hurt.”

“No offence, sir, but that is rather contradictory, is it not? Evil is meant to cause destruction and harm,” I said, gently as I could. “I mean, that's rather like Death going off and healing people.”

The envoy's left pupil contracted. “It is exactly like that,” he said, shaking his head quietly. “You are more accurate than you realise, young Queen. And perhaps you have the smarts to survive after all.” He began walking away, then stopped. “I will tell you this, Lich-Queen: You will live long enough to understand this moment. When you do, do not blame yourself. None of us will hold it against you.” He gave me a sad smile, and slipped away.

What in every accursed being's name? I shook my head. “Whatever, man,” I murmured. “It's not like I've lived my whole life with a cryptic soothsayer of a sister.” Was it too much to ask for a break from all the prophecies and holier-than-thou crap? Evidently not.

The worm of doubt gnawed at my core again. Ramaeria just wouldn't leave me be. She was dead, I knew she was. But that man spoke just like her. He was not her, of course. That would be paranoid of me, to presume that the strange Chosen was out to get me on behalf of my dead sister. 

But that line about Death… Were the Gods conspiring against me? Of course they were. I should have seen it all along.

No, that was ridiculous! I was nobody, to garner such attention. Yet here was the Spirit Empress, and most of the Elven Council, and perhaps half of the Shapeshifter triarchy. I was someone. And not just that: I was Queen.

I just had to prove it.

With perhaps more force than necessary, I grabbed one of my ghouls. “Find the ‘shifter Matriarch and tell her to meet me in my throne room. We have business to discuss,” I told him. 

Stalking off to my rooms, a plan began formulating in my head, bubbling like the chef's gumbo that all us lesser beings gulped down, whilst the nobles feasted. I was going to make sure I never suffered that again. 

My heels hit the floor in a harsh staccato, clicking against the stone floor. I slammed open the door, heart festering with rage. I was going to be Queen, and they would all recognise me for what I was. 

Starting with my love. “Iraela,” he murmured through cracked lips, when he saw me. His chest was littered with bruises, and his cut lip dribbled blood. He had tried and failed to escape, as I expected. I shook my head disappointedly.

“I thought you smarter than that, Tamaris,” I whispered in his ear, kneeling next to me. “You should have known I am smart enough to stop whatever you do. You cannot escape me, any more than my sister could outrun her fate.” But she had. I had meant to break her, and she had the gall to deny me the pleasure. 

Tamaris let out a choking laugh. “I thought you smarter than that too, Iraela. You should have known I had to try nonetheless. I cannot let you do this. I will not let you do this.”

My wrath reached boiling point, and I slapped him. Claws raked his cheek, blood bursting forth in little red streams. He took the blow with a hiss, then met my eyes. “Even if you control my body, you will never have my soul.” He laughed bitterly. “The most farcical aspect of this is that I would have given you my heart on a plate, had you asked. We could have been great together.”

“Yes,” I agreed. “In another world, we would have been great. But this is the one we live in, and I will rule. It is a shame that you have chosen the stand against me, but it will hardly impede my coronation.” An idea occurred to me, and I added, “It might even aid it.”

Snapping my fingers, I called a revenant into the room. This needed to be a surprise, which meant my ghouls, precious though they were, were not the men for the task. Tamaris cringed as the shambling corpse of his brother-in-law grabbed his shoulder, and his sister tied a halter around his neck. “Ira, please,” he hissed, glimmers of fear sprouting beneath his facade like the shimmering of fish scales in a murky pond. “Don't. It's not too late. We- we can undo th-”

A revenant clasped their hand over his mouth, and I watched Tamaris be dragged out of my room. Quietly, I fussed with my hair, tightening the braids and puffing up the curls. There was really nobody to impress, anymore. My new allies cared not for my court manners, my pallid skin and my claws. Finally I belonged. In a fit of pique, I undid my hair, letting it fall loose around my waist, and gave a triumphant grin to the monster in the mirror.

Read part 1 here & part 2 here

Sing, Nightingale (part 1) - keigo tamaki x top!reader

You needed to know what he knew, but he wasn't going to give it up without a fight. Not that that matters. You know exactly what kind of fight to give him.

cw: kidnapping, noncon, bondage, mild knifeplay, orgasm denial, bdsm elements, humiliation, blackmail, drugging, needles, overstimulation, wing kink (is that what we're calling it)

an: i said i'd do it so i did. i dont know why i did it. or why it's so fucking long (gdocs says it's 1.3k, what the fuck). but i read some oneshots and did some limited browsing of the wiki so here you go. if you see something that doesn't make sense with the canon, no you don't <3

now i need to write a part 2 for this where you actually get to fuck him stupid. part 2 will probably establish reader to be amab, but you can read this part one as gn!reader

"So, who are you working with?" Hawk asks, cheeks still pink from where you'd ripped the duct tape off. "The Liberation Front? Some evil-League-offshoot? Or are you rogue?"

God, he's talkative. His wings are depleted to ragged, feathery stumps and ropes are criss-crossed over his arms and torso. He's on his knees right now, legs spread with shins bound to his thighs, and a bruise forming nicely on his cheek. Despite that, he still has the gall to mouth off.

You respond with another sharp backhand, this time across the other cheek, sending him careening to the side. "That's none of your concern," You drawl. "You're simply here to tell me what you know, and I'm here to learn it. However long that takes is up to you."

He slowly draws himself back up, shaking his head. He spits some blood onto the floor - "Damn, bit my cheek," he mutters - and looks up at you again. Still no fear in those golden eyes. A lazy grin on his abused face. "You get right to the point, huh? Damn, I like you a lot better than the other villains already."

"Then I take it that you'll be cooperative?"

"Ha, fuck no."

You kick him this time. Not hard enough to break his neck, but you catch him upside the chin, and hear the sharp clack of his teeth snapping together. His head almost droops to the floor in pain before he catches himself. "Almost felt that one."

"You're insufferable." You debate kicking him again, but you need his jaw intact so he can actually give you the info you need.

"That's what they all tell me," He laughs around the blood in his mouth. "Don't flatter yourself by thinking you're the first one to catch me. Plenty of other villains have tried the same thing, and none of them have actually made me sing. You're not gonna be very different."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

You crouch down with a knife in hand, and start the process of cutting away his clothes. He shivers as you make quick work of his shirt, and you can feel his heartbeat peak against his skin, though that doesn't actually stop the cocky lilt of his voice.

"Ah, classic, classic. The ol 'strip-and-whip' method. Most people buy me dinner first, but you're hot so I can make the exception-" He stutters a bit as you grab the waistband of his pants, jerking it upwards so you can drag the blade down the seams. "Phew, you're thorough, huh? Though I can't blame you, my ass is to die for-"

"You're rambling," You chide him. He's now entirely naked, save for his underwear and the shreds of his clothes that are still pinned do this body by the ropes. "Are you nervous, Keigo?"

"Hey now," He protests. "We're not on a first name basis. And this isn't my first rodeo, so..." He trails off as you pull at the elastic of his underwear so harshly it rips. "Whoa, okay, buy me dinner first." He laughs, but it's pitched a little higher.

"I know the kind of villains you've dealt with, Keigo." You touch the knife under his chin and tilt him up to meet his eyes. Finally, some reaction - his pupils have gone small with poorly-concealed fear. "The ones that use electricity and knives to try and make you talk. But you're a spy, aren't you? You're trained to deal with pain. I could cut you up bloody and you still wouldn't sing."

Your other hand squeezes his thigh, traveling up to his hip, tracing along the curve of his hipbone. "But I'm not like those other villains," You say, voice low and murmured right into his ear, as you press your palm against his cock, feeling it twitch as he yelps. "You're going to wish I was."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You have him blindfolded now, and still kneeling in the middle of the cold, concrete room. His cock is stiff and drooling against his abdomen, leashed by a ring at the base. Vibrators hum from where they're clipped to his nipples, and stuffed deep into his ass.

His spine jerks as you play idly with the remote, a whine breaking out behind his clenched teeth. You've been at this for a while now, and he'd been mouthy at first, telling you how this was 'a normal Saturday night for him', and 'I don't need a safeword, don't worry' and 'can I call you daddy or is that off the table.' He'd shut up at the half-hour mark when he realized he was wasting his breath, and that you weren't kidding when you said you had no time limit.

Even so, he was handling things impressively. His bottom lip was bitten raw from where he'd tried to keep quiet, and not once has he begged or pleaded. You were going to need to step things up.

You turn the vibrations down, and he relaxes for an instant, before tensing up the moment he hears your footsteps approach. "What, bored already?" He rasps, making a grin that was more like a snarl. "And here I thought I was putting on a good show."

"I'm about to make it a better one, no worries." You pull the ring off his cock in one quick motion, and it bobbles obscenely. When you lift up a corner of the blindfold, a golden, watery eye blinks back. In your other hand, you hold a syringe, courtesy of Dr. Garaki himself (or pilfered from his laboratory, more like), and he darts between looking at you and it, eying the little needle nervously. "Don't worry, little bird. This isn't a Quirk-eraser or anything like that. It's just going to make you feel things." You pause. "Feel everything, in fact."

"Get away from me," He hisses, facade cracking as you bring the needle down near his neck. You fist your hand in his hair and force his head back, exposing the smooth contour of his throat. "Don't you fucking dare-"

"Whoops," You hum, as you inject him. "Too late."

His entire body shudders, and his eyes goes wide, pupil shrinking to a thin slit, and his mouth drops open in a shaky gasp. Garaki really outdid himself with this one, because the moment you release the hero he's curling in on himself, skin already flushing brightly in the cool air.

"What did-" He groans, throat working in a dry swallow. "What did you fucking do?!"

"It's terrible, isn't it?" You watch as he writhes, trying to position himself in a way that won't make him feel the ropes that are cutting into his skin, or the grit on the floor beneath his knees. "Everything that touches you is now amplified. Like so-" And you demonstrate and dragging one finger along the base of his wing, and he shakes like a leaf, a helpless whimper falling out of his throat. "Isn't that overwhelming?"

He growls, and flaps pathetically. "Don't you fucking touch them."

Ah, that's right. You remember he'd mentioned something about that. In some talk show or another; how he could feel things through his feathers, but only the ones at the base, and how he'd sometimes spend his free time combing through them.

You reach out now and grab one of his wings, squeezing and twisting, feeling all those little feathers tickle at your palm. Keigo, on the other hand, screams as if you shot him, and-

He cums just like that. Splatters white across the gray cement and onto his own stomach. His thighs shaking with the force of it, getting rubbed pink and stinging against the floor, and the blindfold darkens around his eyes with tears. He's gasping for breath like he just finished a race.

You can't help but laugh - one rough touch, and he was undone. You reach down and squeeze his softening cock, and he spasms, shaking his head. "Wai wait wait no, too much it hurts I can't-"

"Sure you can," You twist your hand, and he chokes on air. "Or do you want to be a good boy and finally tell me what I want to know?"

His jaw clamps shut at that, and you sigh. "Guess not." You shrug, and you squeeze a little tighter to watch him cry out.

campaign 3 episode 17:

I am so tired, my kid's on half days this week and I'm not getting my usual nap because of it, I am a Disaster and if I fall asleep halfway through the episode no one is allowed to judge me

samuel

"in theatres! crazy things to say right now that don't make sense!" because there iS A PANDEMIC

wait I was muted was there vince mcmahon salt

it's so fuckin CUTE

"that is not child safe" "still going on my dog"

HEY IF YOU LIKE LAURA BAILEY SINGING YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT STRAY GODS BY SUMMERFALL GAMES

say Ariks Eshteross' Airship five times fast

oh no nightmare lights

"I bet it looks cool in the theaters"

put gem in mouth

"you should never have to run into the storm alone"

"what time is it" it's 3:01 am

"whichever way they bend"

I love the idea that orym sleeps like a cat

imogen gets halfway down the stairs and starts going into withdrawal

>waifish >dwarf

saM

marisha's dice redemption arc

"don't fuck with me matt mercer"

sldkfhs travis

I just need all of them to give up and share one room at all times

"I've been up for a little while just lookin atcha"

ashton and fcg <3

travis just hiding his face

"is he dead?!" "no, I just heard him screaming"

[smacks fcg with a newspaper every time he offers someone therapy unsolicited]

(I was gonna say spray with a water bottle but that might end badly)

"not GRAB it bc it will fall off"

"you can borrow my ears any time"

I love their little identify lens

🎶who can say if I've been changed for the better🎶

I KNEW IT addictive rock

put it in a cart with a bunch of bananas, that's how you test if it's evil

quietly references every other campaign

fearne you specifically know what swapping around a potentially evil object does

"I'm alive" "press x"

I would like to touch the crystal now matt

love the dichotomy between the players 👀 and the characters 🤷‍♀️

traVIS

"fuckin imogen"

chetney: fuckin imogen laudna: yes

(I don't go here I just can't pass up a setup like that)

"can you grow flowers whenever you want?" "🌷"

ashton

I don't like it

"I immediately start tracking fearne" dad friend orym

ashton either has so many regrets or is having the time of their life, it's impossible to tell

evon calling

did imogen's accent just get 400x stronger or is it just me

fcg: competish ashton: 😒

jiana hexum 🤝 veruca salt I want one now

fcg your self-sacrifice has to have an upper limit

chetney

oh. oh fuck.

ashley's face when the penny dropped

"should you bring a buddy? ....or a minder?"

"I know horses. I've eaten a few." well now we know how this campaign's horses are gonna die

not the shania twain

they did it, they broke eshteross

fearne he is eating

sam literally just telling the audience to fuck off for ten minutes

marisha trying to take sam out

persuade grandpa out of his biscottis

"why limit yourself to the player characters?"

someone do a religion check so I can get a bingo

ashton: we will stop percieving me immediately

orym using the hammer as a stepstool

samuel

is it like cabal's ruin where they're gonna build up charges and then unleash them all at once

oh no

that one scene from falcon and the winter soldier

someone mention marwa so I can get a bingo

"don't touch my stuff for three weeks"

I'm enjoying Silly Orym

mala: travis in any shopping scene with his wife: how can I be a Problem

laura starts playing star stables

roll for horse girl

bloodstorm

chetney: blood magic me: [whispers] maleficar

I love him

I put on my blood robe and blood wizard hat

TRAVIS

matt just scooting away

GET HIS ASS

mala: the dc for this is 1

"get your third character ready"

OH RIGHT there are people who suffered that in a group

aw man I apparently missed a cute video

LIGHTS

PLANTS

"I just got a little bit teary-eyed in my face"

aww imogen gets Quiet

"I got instantly itchy thinking about it" "yaaaaay that's called immersion"

"you've never ridden a horse?" "my sister in christ I basically am a horse"

orym straps himself to the back of one horse like a pelt in red dead

horse aesthetics. horsethetics.

this is becoming some oregon trail logistics

"natural 20! that means we fight a dragon."

"that is not a horse OR fearne"

the roast of sam reigel

"that's not a script it's just ad copy" "the script's on the monitors"

"oh for FUCK'S - "

Silly Orym has backfired

a RABBIT CALL

commit to the bit

do the watership down dying rabbit scream

orym you can't throw greens at it like a chocobo

orym's gonna get eaten by a t-rex

I lucid dream bc my brain gets mad when my dreams are poorly-written

ORYM

you're gonna get your fingers bit off

liam sees a gem and insists on stealing it from wherever it was

orym: I got you a rock

soul gem vs black soul gem

it's an opal, they will be hearing from my lawyers

sir floppers, rabbit, loonch, escargot, heart, and one-way

"he's foreign, don't worry about it

taliesin knows

"I don't like to get attached to things that are clearly going to die. like all of you."

"we only have five horses, how did we get six names!"

"if you take rabbit from me I'll kill you"

"your beau dice were talking shit about you yesterday" samuel

nooo I'm fading, I've been doing so well

they both get eaten

and them liam derails the whole game to talk to ashton for an hour

(this is not a complaint)

fcg goes to sleep and the fantasy kudzu overtakes him in the night

Birdie and Oleander

"sounds like a musical"

matt: you can attach it to a small item sam: I'M a small item!

sam doesn't watch the product

you can't touch the two silver millenium crystals to each other it'll blow up the planet

BUTTERFLIES

"everyone turns into sheep" when we first started the polycule my partner's wife insisted on calling it "polymorphism" which is in fact a WoW spell that turns you into a sheep

"you, fearne. you're special" cries

the way orym looks at fearne. just all the quiet, steady affection in the world.

the kind of person who says "you're special" and means it right down to his bones.

rolls to find fey gate, finds a dragon

midday loonch

bits of....edibles

ashton and fearne just spend the entire night trying to steal shit from each other

see I was joking but I knew it would probably happen

"you can always just ask. what do you want." "I want to not ask."

ashley 100% have left that last word off but she was never gonna

"this isn't how I started" excuse

oh ashton

is this how rock genasi work??

"I might try to steal it" "I would be very entertained"

RAIN

BACKSTORY

I've been avoiding earbuds but my roommate is awake for once and her keyboard is so LOUD and I wanna hear this

OH

HANGING TREE THEORY CONFIRM??

everybody at the table

laura: I wanna throw something at her

marisha's so proud of herself

"you're the happiest person in this bunch" "of course. the worst thing that's ever happened to me has already happened."

taliesin's eyes are about to pop out of his head

like he's VALID

sam's face

her whole everything about her right now. face. posture. voice. god I love marisha ray so much.

"they cut my ears to make them pointy" MARISHA

my automatic assumption is keyleth body bc it's marisha but dark hair means possibly vex

also being keyleth might be a little on the nose

3 am is my new favorite euphemism

taliesin just mouthed "we'll talk later motherfucker" at marisha

ohh the golden sunrise light before the green kicked on

I love everything about this set

(how excited do you think matt is to get to use all these new buttons)

MISTY JUNGLE RAIN

somewhere mica burton is threatening travis and taliesin's lives

travis that's how you break one of their stupid weaksauce finger legs

blue flower???

DORIAN

LIGHTNING FLOWER

CHROMATIC ROSE????

that's the COOLEST FUCKING NAME

what in the kurama

orym that's gay

ashley and laura missed campsite rolling bc ashley was putting a flower behind laura's ear

[whaps fcg with a newspaper]

ffs they're not even sitting next to each other anymore

ROLL FOR FREAKY FRIDAY

what if they get the permanent mind link that yasha thought she had with veth

did we unlock fcg's ptsd babygate??

oh the music

oh no mutual psychic damage

what in the return to witch mountain

nobody in this party knows how to take watch

"this is fine"

neither of them can see over a particularly large rock, is this wise

dragon

or gnolls?

(regular gnoll, regular gnoll)

the return of dbp

orym: I will pry everyone's backstory out of them with a crowbar

(I say "orym" like that's not just liam at all times)

"what's the moon for"

HUSBAND

"o....ohhh."

liam: I will pry MY OWN backstory out of me with a crowbar

time is soup

"you're so young" "so was he" oh that hurt

who had Orym's Husband Died In The Air Ashari Attack

(literally everyone)

chetney is all of us

hand of the tempest

"gray-black leather clad" somebody go scrub through all of campaign 2 and tell me what krynn assassins wear

"you're a rare one; I actually believe you"

fearne knows!

dorian knows!!!

do the rest of the crownkeepers know??

I have to imagine they do

BIG MOON LITTLE MOON

I'm gonna DIE

"it's just raining"

(something something ruidius something cursed life)

eMOtional DAmage

in the dark of the niiiiight

willothwisp

taliesin

fable pixie laugh noises

"can you scare it off" "it's from the feywild, it might not be scared of me!" ".....maybe it'll think you're hot"

hey, listen!

dear fairies we are sleeping

ashton no

give it a shiny

it's definitely going to eat them

"don't OFFER"

"this is not an eatable face"

"why am I sounding old"

"fearne'll get weird" GET weird?

it's gonna fly at laudna's face and that's where matt's gonna call it

you just called it a slur in morse code

twitch I'll fight you

ashton playing with pate

DETECT THOUGHTS THE FAIRY that can only go well

"you're making a fairy house? like my daughter?"

"I made it a fairy tent out of sleeves"

"same grill"

"it's gonna crawl into your nostril" goa'uld fairy

liam what in shit was that laugh

fearne: fucking flying rats

"the pizza rats of the feywild"

FAIRY CRY

WILLOTHWISP

willotheanglerfish

"it was a BUTTON I was gonna PRESS IT"

"I hadn't pushed a button all day"

"I would wander into a dark forest for a flying gummy bear"

I am the last person to realize campaign 3 episode 17 was on 3/17

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Six

A/N: Hey, guys! I know it seems like we're never gonna get to the good stuff because I'm not moving as quickly through the story as usual (10 chapters usually = 1 year) but that's because there's A LOT that's happening in 1987 and I don't want to rush through it because it's all important to the build up. But thank you for being patient, I promise it will get to the drama very soon!

Also, I would just like to know what are some of your Gateway Drug unpopular opinions??? Just send me an ask (anonymous or not, doesn't matter to me) and let me know if you've got one💜

Words: 4k

Warning(s): explicit language, domestic abuse, mentions of drug abuse

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LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

After weeks of going back and forth over the Duff ordeal, Nikki and I had finally put it behind us.

Or so I thought.

I smile at my pastor as I take his extended hand for a second, the two of us exchanging "goodbye"s after service.

"Have a good week, Vivian." He tells me.

I open my mouth to reply but the loud sound of a Harley Davidson is causing he and I, and everyone waiting behind me to speak to him, and everyone already in the parking lot, to turn attention to the culprit.

Nikki stops at the curb on the street, arrogantly grinning at me and I nervously glance at my pastor.

"I-I'm gonna go. I'll see you next Sunday, good sermon." I assure him.

"See you then, Vivian." He replies, his eyes still on Nikki before I'm quickly making my way off the church's porch, my heels clicking against the pavement as I step to the street.

"Nikki, what are you doing here?" I ask him, and he looks at me over his shades.

"You gonna get on the bike or not?" He ignores me, chewing his gum, and I exhale.

"I'm wearing a dress." I state.

"I know, you look pretty." He looks me up and down.

"No, I mean I'm wearing a dress. I can't just straddle a bike at 55 miles per hour, Nikki. It'll be blowing over my head."

"Then take it off." He shrugs.

"Nikki."

"Babe, it's Los Angeles. Nobody cares if they see Vivian Sixx's panties." He brushes it off and I just stare at him, not wanting to tell him why that's still an issue.

His face shifts, his grin turns into a full-fledged smile, a boyish laugh flutters past his lips and he looks so, so amused.

"You're not wearing any?" He asks me, and I turn beet red, hitting at his arm with my hand.

"I couldn't. There was a panty line." I explain to him as discreetly as I can.

"You didn't wear panties to church?"

"Shh!" I cover his mouth with my hand for a second, glancing around.

It seems people are just staring because Nikki Sixx is in their parking lot.

I don't know if some of them even realize that he's attended a service here before.

"Well, lemme see." He enthusiastically let's out as he reaches for the hem of my dress that falls right about my knees and I swat his hand away, giving him a death glare. "You're dirty." He teases and I hug my Bible to me.

"Shut up."

He's suddenly dropping his switchblade from his pocket on purpose and it hits the ground.

"Oops. Wanna bend over and pick it up?" He asks me and I hit him again, causing him to laugh once again.

He reaches down and grabs it before patting the seat behind him.

"Viv, seriously, commando aside, get on. We have a hot date for brainstorming the video ideas for 'Girls, Girls, Girls'."

I look around again before just having to mentally say "screw it" and strategically get on without flashing anyone, making sure my dress lays between me and the seat.

Nikki and I give one last glance to the folks coming out of the church, looking at us, including the pastor.

Nikki offers a mischievous smile and a wave before crossing himself and I lightly hit his thigh while saying, "babe, quit, it's not a catholic church."

"Oh. Oops." He shrugs before taking off.

One thing about Harley Davidson, if you're sensitive to sensation, you will damn near be drowning yourself by the time the ride is over.

I scowl at Nikki as I take another paper towel and wipe myself clean as he leans against the door of the bathroom, chuckling at me.

"It's not funny. My dress is wet." I scold him.

"Well, it's not my fault your pot holds that much honey." He defends himself, trying to hold back more laughter.

I stare him down."Okay, I'm sorry. I'm being insensitive to your hyperactive pussy-juice glands." He let's out in a serious tone but he smirks when I look at him, again.

"Nikki."

"Shoulda worn panties, huh? Well, wouldn't have mattered that'd just be one more thing for you to gripe about leaking in."

"Keep talking and you won't get to dip your honey wand in the pot for very, very, long time." I threaten and he stops abruptly.

"Fine." He smartly says, rolling his eyes.

Once I get cleaned up, we're stepping into the studio just in time for Vince to sarcastically say:

"'Pussy. Everywhere. All kinds of pussy'."

As if he's mocking somebody.

"Stupid fucker." He adds, he, Tommy, Doc and Mick all turning to face us.

"I need to go back to church." I tell Nikki and he smiles, shaking his head a little.

"Hey, Viv." Vince greets me, looking me up and down, exaggerating the kiss of his teeth. "You look good today."

"Means a lot coming from someone who thinks groupies are the most beautiful women in the world." I say through a fake smile.

"Any woman with a good body and right equipment is the most beautiful woman in the world to me." He agrees, grinning.

"Swine."

"Dirty stripper."

"Strippers!" Tommy suddenly pipes and I look at him.

"Tommy, please, don't encourage him."

"No, for the video. Film it in a strip club." He suggests.

"Would that get played on television?" I ask.

"Fuck MTV. I'm down." Vince agrees with Tommy.

"Mick?" Tommy nudges at the guitar player, who shrugs.

"That's the whole point of the song, isn't it?" He says.

The three of them look to Nikki for final approval and Nikki looks at me, an evil genius smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Under one condition."

The one condition being...

"Are you out of your mind?!" I say to Nikki when we get back home as he continues to try to convince me.

We had to go by and get my car from church and I thought we had settled it before we even left the studio but just as we met at our front door, he asked me about it, again.

"Viv, it's like a four minute song and you won't be but in a few clips of the video."

"I'm not playing the part of a stripper, Nikki! I'm not..." I try to think of the words to describe everything an exotic dancer has that I don't. "...I don't have it." Is the best I can use to explain it.

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"I don't know but I'm not comfortable prancing around in heels and lingerie, dancing for strangers in a club and millions of more on television." I state. "I'm not doing it."

"Well you heard Sharise when Vince called and asked her. She said 'yes'."

"I'm not her, Nikki. Sharise can pull it off because she's sexy and sensual and confident enough for it."

He looks at me like I've lost my last marble.

"Vivian, are you fucking kidding me? You don't think you're sexy?!"

"No, I'm not, now drop it." I tell him, stepping to our bedroom.

Firstly, glory to God and all the saints said "amen", secondly...you can find me dancing half naked several times in Mötley Crüe's infamous "Girls, Girls, Girls" music video.

"Baby, you're perfect. What the hell are you talking about?" He follows after me and I sigh.

"Of course you think that because we're together." I state, about to get a shower and change clothes.

"Viv, seriously." He grabs at my wrist to stop me from walking away, his hand gently running across my cheek. "I am married to the most beautiful, smart, funny, loving, sexy woman on the entire planet."

"Thank you for the ass kissing, but if it's in an effort to get me to be in the video, it's still a 'no'."

"I was just reminding you of those things." He tells me, smiling. "Can you at least think about doing the video?"

"Nope." I reply, pecking his lips before stepping to the shower.

There is no way in hell I'm going to be in that video.

I don't know how the hell we went from that day to this:

My blood boils.

I can tell Nikki's smirking, despite his back being turned to me in his seat as "Wild Side" starts to fade out, sounds of the street playing in the song signaling it's ending.

I've managed to keep from saying a word, hoping the song got better at some point...except it only got worse.

Vince, Tommy, Mick and Doc all wait for me to say something.

Anything.

Nikki finally turns to face me, smirk tugging at his lips, eyes fucked on heroin, and I see nothing but the devil looking at me.

"Well?" He asks me, leaned back, hand covering his lips to attempt to mask his pride in pissing me off.

"Typically when you ask someone to repeat a prayer that's important to their faith, you don't write a song that completely picks apart and disrespects--"

"--Oh, here we go." He grumbles, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry, did you expect to write bullshit like 'our Father who ain't in Heaven' and think I would be ok--"

"--I expected you to fucking support me--" He starts but I stop him.

"--Somebody's up there or else you wouldn't be alive!" I state, talking over him.

His laugh mocks me, only causing more tension to fill up the room, and I have to keep myself from going at him.

"I'm alive because I fucking want to be." He hisses.

"That's real bold of you to say, Nikki."

"Oh, is it? Because it pisses God, or whatever else imaginary friend you cry to, off?"

"Nikki." Doc states, knowing he's just trying to piss me off at this point.

"Fuck off, Doc." He barks. "I took a meaningless chant and turned it into something useful. I'm sorry if you're too closed minded to accept that, Vivian."

I don't say a word, grabbing my purse and stepping to the door as fast as I can, not wanting to argue over something he thinks is stupid to begin with. "It really sucks you don't like, especially since you're a credited co-writer on it." He states suddenly and this stops me in my tracks.

"I'm what?" I ask through my teeth.

"A credited co-writer. Meaning when the album is put out, your name will be listed as one of the writers of the song." He explains.

I spin around to face him and he's looking at me innocently.

I'm not angry with the song. I'm angry he knew it would upset me, and instead of giving me a warning or being honest with me about it, he's instead saying everything he can to further hurt me, and he's proud of himself for it.

"I thought you'd be happy with that...you know, early anniversary present?" He's wearing a smug smile.

"Nikki. How you're going about it is disrespectful to me." I try to tell him, calmly.

"So is lying to me about who you're hanging out with."

That does it.

I get one good punch in before everyone's in an uproar, trying to separate us.

Nikki's got a fistful of my hair, and I'm hitting Doc as hard as I can, trying to get him away from Nikki so I can better access the feral bastard.

Doc gets knocked out of the way, and Nikki's other hand grabs at my throat while I kick at him roughly, causing him to let me go and stumble back a few steps before I'm swinging on him again.

Doc blocks my hit and Tommy and Vince keep Nikki away from me.

"Let the little bitch go, I wanna fucking show her something!" Nikki threats angrily

"You've showed me enough of your bullshit the last four years that divorce is something I'm looking forward to!" I shout back.

"Psycho cunt!"

"Mommy Issued Junkie!" I bite back, causing him to try to get to me again, and causing me to fight against Doc once more.

"Stop it!" Doc yells over us.

"Fuck you!" Nikki and I exclaim at the same time.

His cheek is bright red from where I hit him, and my scalp is burning from how hard he tugged at my hair.

"Guys, c'mon." Tommy tells us as they try to get us to calm down.

"This is starting to get ridiculous." Vince adds.

"Fuck off, Vince!" Nikki snaps.

"Shut the fuck up, Nikki." Vince puts in just as I say, "don't fucking talk to him like that!" in defense of Vince.

"Oh, have you been lying to me about how much time you spend with him, too?!"

"How much time are you really spending with Vanity, Nikki?! I can easily turn this back around on you!" I point out.

Nikki, Vince, and Tommy all get awfully quiet, Nikki's nostrils flaring.

I know he's spending more time with her, except he's never lied to me about it, he just doesn't necessarily tell me when they hang out. And it's because he wants me to believe he's off crack, and if they hang out, they're doing drugs together.

"Get the fuck out." He demands.

"Gladly. Don't bother coming home tonight. Just stay out, shoot up with Robbin and smoke crack with Vanity. I'm fucking done." I sneer before grabbing my things and slamming the door behind me as I leave.

But I wasn't done.

I scrub at another glass, hearing the front door being unlocked, and Nikki's steps coming inside before the door shuts and I hear him give out a heavy sigh.

I don't acknowledge him when he steps into the kitchen to grab a paper bag from the fridge, turning on his heel before heading back to the door.

He gets outside and I hear the sound of his bike firing back up.

"Damn it, Viv." I breathe out to myself, feeling guilty for what all I said to him, and a small part of me hopes he feels guilty, too.

I finish the dishes and immediately call Robbin, praying he hasn't gone out to meet Nikki, yet.

I'm ready to hang up by the third ring, until I hear:

"Hello?"

"Robbin, hey, it's Viv." I tell him.

"Hey, babe, what're you up to?"

"Are you and Nikki hanging out tonight?" I ask him and he hesitates.

"We are..."

"Where at?"

"Jeez, I don't know, Viv. Probably start at the Cathouse, end up at a strip joint or something."

"He's pissed at me, Robbin."

"Yeah, he called me from the studio when you left."

"I told him not to come home tonight."

"...And he's not." He replies.

"No, he's not, but I want him to."

"Then tell him."

"He's not gonna listen to me." I argue.

"Then don't piss him off."

"Well, tell him not to piss me off."

"Then, you tell him."

"I've tried, he doesn't listen to me."

The line is silent for a second and I blink.

"Hello?"

"This is why I'm not married. Jesus Christ."

"Robbin, you're engaged, remember?" I remind him.

"No, no, this is why I'm not married to you. Laurie's not cra--" He stops himself abruptly and I raise my brows.

"What was that?"

"Uh, oh, wow I-I think I'm breaking up on you, Viv."

I can tell he's rustling his hand over the phone, giving the effect of static.

"Robbi--"

"--I'll talk to him, love you, bye, Viv."

He hangs up and I exhale.

Karen comes into the kitchen, wearing a cocktail dress and heels, her hair and makeup done.

"I'm going on a date." She tells me. "If I'm not back by 2:00am, call the cops. I've been murdered." She sternly says.

"Got it." I nod.

"We're going out on the strip." She adds. "Which is all bars, clubs and strippers, so pray for me."

"If you see Vince, don't let him talk to you. You'll be in the back of his limo before you even realize what hit you."

"Trust me, I know, I have mace specifically for 'Vince Repellent'." She assures me, touching up her lipstick. "Alright, I'll see you later."

"Okay, have fun." I offer to her.

Once she's gone, I'm arguing with myself internally as I glance at the clock, trying to decide if I should try to reconcile with Nikki or not.

He'll be junked out and still mean, it won't do any good.

The shitty part is that I've noticed he's started to take maintenance doses through out the day, especially before we go out somewhere.

It's been easy to decipher if he's sober or not by just suggesting we go somewhere as simple as the grocery store.

When he's sober, he can't spend more than two minutes in a room full of people--five minutes, max, if I make him stay longer than what he wants to.

But when he's got smack going through him, he acts like his normal, social self.

I asked Izzy about it a couple weeks ago and he said Nikki's probably reached the point where if he doesn't have even the smallest amount of heroin in his system ever so often, withdraw symptoms and the pain of the impact the drugs have on his body, will start up.

And as for the social aspect, he said he more than likely doesn't know how to function without heroin as his anxiety buffer anymore.

That's ever more sad because Nikki use to be perfectly fine socializing without anything in his system. But now he can't even go to the Rainbow to eat with the guys, or go on a date with me, without shooting up to calm himself down and if he over does it on his dose, he's either too out of it to be social anyway, or he's a fucking prick.

Which only means one thing in my mind: Nikki's the farthest into it he can get. The next step, if he doesn't stop it, is funeral planning.

I step to our bedroom, deciding I'll just leave him alone tonight.

He and Tommy leave in a couple days, with the guys mastering and mixing their album, to New York to finish off the process there.

Maybe he'll have an epiphany while he's gone for a handful of days and come back and apologize for being a dick to me the past few days...more like "past few years."

Oh, yeah. I better have many jewels on my crown when I get to heaven for not leaving the crazy bastard by now.

How can I leave him? He needs good, solid people around him that won't sugar coat shit to save his ego and his feelings.

He needs me, and lots of God, but I've never been one to force my beliefs onto him, and I'm not going to start now.

Lately he's let off that he despises God more now than he did when we dated.

Again, I personally think there are actual demons fucking with his head, using his addiction to sneak in and start lashing out through him.

Our house even feels like it's riddled with something evil.

Dark energy, demons, bad vibes, whatever you choose to call it, it hits you like a wave when you step foot in the house.

Something sick and demented has built its nest and with Nikki's incline in his use, whatever it is has made its point clear: it's not leaving until Nikki's dead.

On my way to the bathroom, I notice his journal on his nightstand. He usually keeps them hidden from me, but I know he's written in one since before we dated because I've seen him write in one, but I've rarely just seen one laying around.

He usually keeps them put up.

A lightbulb goes off in my mind as I stare at the book that contains a multitude of sins and secrets in his handwriting.

"No. That's wrong. It's an invasion of his trust and privacy." I little voice in my mind tells me.

"He doesn't talk to you about private things as much as you think he does. Don't you wanna know what he really does when you aren't around...or how he really feels about you?" An arguing voice counters.

"He hasn't given you any reason to not trust him."

"Ha! That you know of. Read the diary and you'll probably have a multitude of reasons not to trust him."

"He loves you. He cares about you. He wants you. If he didn't, he wouldn't take your shit, and if you didn't feel the same for him, you wouldn't take his. Why do you need to dig through his confidential, personal, thoughts and feelings?"

"You two are married. If your husband has confidential anything he's keeping from you, that's a red flag."

"Give him the basic respect, Vivian. Don't read it."

"Fuck respect. He called you a 'psycho cunt' earlier. You need to get to the bottom of why he calls you awful things when he's on junk. Oh, yeah, because he thinks those awful things about you when he's sober, he just doesn't give a voice to them until he can't control himself."

"He loves you. He doesn't think those things about you. He just says them to get a reaction out of you."

"I bet he's about to spring a divorce on you."

I squeeze my eyes closed.

"Shut up!" I yell, silencing the voices, taking a heavy breath.

Deciding not to read it, I just pick the diary up and open his night table drawer, placing it soundly inside before closing it shut.

What I would have ended up reading, had I decided to let my curiosity kill me:

March 23, 1987

Van Nuys

4:47am

Fuck. Early last night Vanity called the house looking for me. I forgot Viv was at home and when I let the machine take the call, Vanity was fucked up and was spewing out everything she wanted to do to me the next time she saw me. I've never moved that fast in my fucking life to answer a phone. Viv would've had a stroke if she heard Vanity describe the kind of blowjob I'd be getting from her, but thank god Viv was by the pool.

She's starting to wonder when exactly I'm leaving my wife. I just keep telling her after the tour is over. I don't even know when I told her I was leaving Viv but she claims I promised her I was going to so now I'm even further in the shithole.

I keep waiting for Vanity to drop the bomb about mine and her's antics to Vivian. Anytime we're all hanging out, I'm bracing for impact, along with Vince and Tommy, and Vanity knows it. She uses it to her fucking advantage.

I'll say I can't spend time with her because I want to stay home or want to have a night with Viv, and Vanity will say something like, "I wonder if you'd have a home to stay in if she knew the truth" or "oh, I forgot about Viv. Should I tell her you forget about her sometimes, too?"

I want to break things off because I know it'll destroy Viv if she finds out, and I really have no business having a full-blown affair, or even seeing anyone else, but I'm nervous that Vanity will spitefully let Viv know what's been going on.

I'm fucking tired. Tired of living, tired of wanting to die, tired of junk, tired of sobriety, tired of my mistress (if you would even call her that...in my mind she's just a chick that gets the job done when I'm out of my mind and my wife isn't around).

I swear I'm two different people.

Sikki fucks Vanity, abuses Vivian and acts like a rottweiler with rabies towards other people when he's not in the mood.

I don't know who or what the fuck I am anymore. And I don't care, either.

P.S. - I've realized the reason so many of the greats OD when they're in their prime is because all the fucking girls driving them absolutely fucking crazy. It's hard to stay sober when you're fucking two of the hardest ballbusters in L.A. and their crazy infects you and starts to fester.

P.P.S. - Would it be bad if I admit I wouldn't mind "accidentally" shooting Duff in the leg? Call it junkie's intuition: I have a feeling, and I don't want it anywhere near my wife

► You're not getting out of this so easily, Ghostface. What, have you gone soft? Your knife is going into Samantha. Wear what you want (though the shroud is most appropriate, given the title you've taken up). Keep her from running, kill her slowly, and make sure she sees and knows you're doing it. Kill her. Enjoy it as much as you can. Every last scream and beg for mercy. You can do that, can't you? Isn't the Ghostface supposed to be good at his job?

((so this got kinda long, just gonna pop an @unwilling-survivor in here cause that’s who this is about. Also... I know things.) TW: torture basically.  There is no moment of respite. This one is detailed, this one had it out for him. Did this also give him the chance to do the last command he got? Fuck, hopefully not. Please do not make him add insult to injury on this. He’s already hurting. 

There’s the urge, it rests on his fingertips. He has to, but god he really doesn’t want to. Being stripped of options or autonomy is just so painful.

This one mocks him. It chastises him like it knows him. He hates that it probably does. 

“What, have you gone soft?” 

Only for her.

“Kill her. Enjoy it as much as you can.”

That’s not how it works.

“You can do that, can't you? Isn't the Ghostface supposed to be good at his job?”

... 

He has to do this. While every bone in his being is telling him not to, there’s the pull. It’s other-worldly. It’s beyond what he can refuse. He wishes that the commands bring out the truly sinister version of himself. Seems compartmentalizing wasn’t as helpful as he first expected it to be. 

There’s so much rage running through him. He’s angry, it needs to be expelled right now- 

With a sharp scream, the glass is hurled across the kitchen, shattering instantly. He’ll deal with it later, Sam is not going to feel any anger from him. He’s not using her as a punching bag, not anymore. He’s filled with a strange haste. Just get it done, get it over with, hold her, do something to let her know he’s being forced to do this. 

The Shroud is back on in record time- mask as well- the knife is on his belt. He had the note with him, he was going to show it to her. He wasn’t told not to. He needed her to know he was desperate to do anything but this. He had no choice. 

--

Finding her is easy. Too easy, painfully easy in fact. Why did they have such poorly timed luck? No, this wasn’t luck. This was just cosmic torture. Forced and painful. 

“Keep her from running…” 

Goddamn it. He grumbles, his hands twitch. There’s too much anxiety, he can’t, he won’t- but he has to. There is literally no choice. Some random, tiny god said so. It was all so stupid. Even with his mind being defiant, he’s gotten into the stalking stance. His heart was pounding, it was uncomfortable, annoying. He hates this. 

He’s still moving forward, regardless of his loathing. Make it quick, they didn’t say he couldn’t do that. Spare her as much as possible, not painless, but swift. Aftercare is part of his routine, he can still do it, right? He wouldn’t be able to help himself either way. 

It’s instinct, the way he darts toward her from behind. One arm locks around her shoulders, the other over her mouth. He just.. Can’t handle her screams yet. Obviously, Sam is a spitfire of a human being. She’s not going down without a fight, she probably doesn’t even know it’s him.

Jed wants to keep it that way for as long as possible.

It takes a surprising bit of effort to wrestle Sam to the ground, he fears he might have to actually use Judas’ suggestion. Just to get her arms out of the way. He’d fully understand if she punched him.

He deserves it for this. 

Wrangling an angry redhead is hard, he needs his knife, so he gets it. She’s flat on her stomach, shouting at him. He needs her quiet, it’s too loud, too much. The knife is gently pressed between her shoulder blades, making her instantly pipe down. Something like this works too well, though, shouldn’t it? He’s basically threatening her. No- he’s promising pain. 

There’s a fucked up, sick rush of power. Why was he like this? Why could he not turn off his subconscious evil? The note did order him to ‘enjoy it’. He still didn’t want to, but he might not be able to really help it. He was born like this. 

Born a monster. 

“Make sure she sees and knows you're doing it.” 

Sam has to face him, so she does. He grabs her, turning her over to be on her back. There’s a look of realization on her face, she’s gone tense. It’s a familiar response, though how long has it been since he wore his mask around her? He’d stopped doing that ever since their first meeting. The majority of the time, then. Fuck. 

He has a chance to show her the note. Keeping the knife steady above her sternum, he fishes out the command. No words are said, he simply holds it in front of her for a solid ten seconds. Hopefully that would reduce the damage, mentally at least. He wasn’t betraying her trust for fun, he was being told to. 

The note is then crumpled up and tossed away. It needs to start, he can’t make either of them wait any longer. Jed shifts, he has to start. 

So he does.

The edge of his knife presses down, cutting into her skin, right along the middle of her sternum. Of course she bites out a hissed curse, her hands shoot up to grab his wrist- pushing him away. He almost let her, until the urge of the note said otherwise, “Stay still, just… Don’t move.” His tone is harsh, though not in the usual way. He’s stressed, he just wants to end this. How long would the note make him hurt her for? Hopefully he could decide that. 

Probably not. 

He grabs one of her hands, pushing it down to the ground so he had a bit more control over the resistance she gave. This was so much harder than he thought, “Don’t close your eyes.” Another order, all to preserve the rules they already had in place. Codes of comfort. He needed them. 

The knife is pulled away, he’s lost as to where to target next. Fuck, make it quick, right? Into her side it goes, just under her ribs. For some reason he does his best to miss anything important, as it kind of mattered outside of trials. As per requested, Sam screams. She shrieks, her grip on his wrist crushes him. He deserves it. It’s embedded all the way down to the hilt, something compels him to twist it clockwise, so he does. No, wait, no no stop. He didn’t want to do that, why did he do that? Sam is already agonized, he’d barely even started. 

“I’m sorry.” The weak apology is blurted, barely audible above her screaming. He hates this. He hates this so much.

“Eyes open.” 

Deadly metal is pulled from the nasty wound, only to be shoved right back into warm flesh. Her collarbone. Her literal collarbone. He hears the bone crunch and snap when the knife pierces it. God, that’s awful. It’s awful. Her screaming devolved into crying, Sam is thrashing around, attempting escape. She’s only making it worse, she needs to stop moving. 

His hand lets go of her wrist, going to grab her face and hold it in place, “Sit still.” He speaks with a bit more conviction this time. He twists the knife, hearing more hard things break. Stop, stop it, why can’t he stop? Yanking the knife out again, he stabs the wound in her shoulder three times. He can’t control half of these actions, how fucking powerful was that note? Stop, let him stop, please.  

Sam’s begging has begun. At this point, he’d have dropped everything to sooth her. But he can’t, he can’t comfort her. He can’t do anything other than obey this wretched command. 

She’s bawling, incoherently pleading with him. Emotionally, something in him breaks. He can’t. He wants so badly to listen, to stop, but he just can’t. 

The pain goes on for another twenty minutes. Sam’s screams are hoarse and gritty, painful to listen to. Jed’s hands are covered in blood, his knife even more so. End it, he’s gotta end it here. He can’t do this anymore. 

But how? He’s sure as hell not gonna slit her throat. What’s something less bloody? 

Choke her to death. End it. 

For the last time, he shoves his knife into a random wound, two shaky hands coil around her throat. All of his effort goes into literally crushing her windpipe. End it, just end it. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll find you, I’m sorry, Sam.” He finally lets his words slip just a bit. If there’s one thing that kills him most about this, it’s that he can’t hold her when it’s over. He can’t comfort a corpse, it won’t even stay. 

With a final squeeze, Sam is killed. It’s not at all what he intended. It was messy, rough, and anything but swift. He can’t stand staying here. He needs to go home, get out of the gear, erase this with alcohol, then find her. He can’t bring her back to the house, shit. Goddamn it. He’s so tired he can’t even punch the ground in a blind rage. All he can do is get up unsteadily and go home. 

He needs to know that she knows he’s so goddamn sorry for this. He needs to find her as soon as possible, but not like this. Not like this. 

Give it time.

❛ love of my life ❜ ─ bryce lahela, part two.

⇢ entry for choices february challenge !

⇢ pairing: bryce x f!mc (sunny soo)

⇢ genre: angst

⇢ prompt: heartbreak

⇢ song: love of my life, queen.

⇢ description: in which sunny finally confesses, but bryce is too afraid of hurting her.

or

love of my life, you've hurt me

you've broken my heart,

and now you leave me

love of my life, can't you see?

bring it back, bring it back

don't take it away from me because

you don't know what it means to me.

⇢ notes: keep reading tag will be added in the future. if u want to get tagged for open heart stuff tell me!! i hope u enjoy it ♡ feedback is appreciated!

Love.

It was a very strong word, but it's meaning and effectiveness have been diluted over the modern years. A word carelessly thrown around. Regardless, hearing three words that let you know you were loved was heartwarming, to say the least.

But saying them? That was a whole diffeŕent story.

And acknowledging that you are, in fact, in love with someone was a slap in the face in itself.

Sunny stood in front of her stove, humming some popular song she heard on the radio on the way to her apartment. Bryce stood beside her, leaning against the counter, careful not to stain his clothes with the sprinkles of BBQ sauce on the surface. He watched her with the semblance of a smile on his handsome features, admiring the way her hands skilfully prepared the traditional Korean dish she was so excited to let him try.

"It took me soooo long to get this recipe down. My mom was a mean cook, and I was a fire hazard in the kitchen up until I had to drop my unhealthy habit of living off instant ramen," laughed Sunny, sparing him a side glance. She sighed in content moments later as she appreciated the calming sound of rain drops pounding on whatever surface they could find.

"And you're sure you got it right this time?" Bryce grinned teasingly. Sunny gasped melodramatically and spun on her heels to face the surgeon she grew attached to over her hectic first year as a medical intern.

"Listen here, you little shit!" She pointed an accusatory finger in his laughing face, knowing he found her ridiculous rather than intimidating considering she had to look up to meet his eyes. A mischievous glint in her doe-like eyes and the evil smirk that stretched across her plump lips told Bryce that he was done for.

Sunny grabbed the spoon she had used to stir the ingredients in the pan, covered in tiny food particles and BBQ sauce, and smeared it right across his cheek. His eyes widened at her unexpected action and his lips, despite his horrified shock, stretched into an amused grin. She doubled over in laughter at his reaction, clutching her stomach after her abdominal muscles began to ache. Jovial tears streamed down her cheeks.

Bryce seized the opportunity and snatched the spoon out of her hands. He retaliated to her act of war by staining her mouth with the same substance his cheeks were covered in. She shrieked in horror and playfully punched his chest, dissolving into giggles yet again.

His heart fluttered when her laughter reached his ears and his gaze fell upon her lips, suddenly very eager to kiss her. Conflicted feelings arose in him, unsure of whether or not to act on his urges, knowing that once he did it, there was no going back.

But when she stared up at him with those wide, sparkling eyes and the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, logic crumbled under his impulses, and before any of them could process what was happening, Sunny Soo was in his arms with her lips locked with his in a kiss they had both only dreamed about before that moment.

His hands had gripped her waist tightly to keep her safe and steady against his larger body. She mustered the little physical power left inside her to stand up on her toes to relief the uncomfort from her craned neck.

And then, she muttered four seemingly harmless words against his lips that snapped him back to the harsh clutches of cold, hard reality.

"I love you, Bryce."

At that point, Bryce didn't know what to do anymore.

When they pulled apart, faces barely inches away from each other and breathing heavily, his heart broke at the hope sparkling in the gorgeous brown eyes he had fell in love with.

"Oh God..." The devastated whisper left his lips before he could process it. Sunny frowned, the light in her expression dimming by the second. Oh God? What was that supposed to mean? Was he... disgusted by her? Did he... not love her?

"Bryce?" Her cheeks were still burning, but her eyes had begun to glaze over with a thin coat of tears. The sound of her voice breaking damn near shattered his weakening resolve.

Words fumbled around in his brain in a confused mess. He stammered unintelligibly, eyes wide and breath quickening. He was panicked. For the first time in a damn long time, Bryce Lahela was speechless - clueless.

"I - I'm - I shouldn't have done that. I should not have done that."

Was he convincing her, or himself?

"What - What's that supposed to mean?" Her voice was growing weaker by the second. She took small, subtle steps away from him, beginning to feel smaller than she already was. Suddenly, they were both hyper-aware of the violence of the rain pattering against the window and the ground outside, mimicking the loud thumping of their rabid hearts.

"I... We can't. I don't... You deserve better. You deserve better." Sunny watched in surprise as he repeated those last three words in a hushed tone, as if attempting to assure himself. He ran his fingers through his hair, ultimately messing it up.

"I deserve better?" She laughed incredulously. "Bryce, I've spent the last few months convincing myself that I didn't even deserve to have you in my life, let alone love you."

"Are you - Are you fucking serious?" He rubbed his face with his hands and aggressively chewed on his bottom lip. God, I really messed up, he thought. "You're the most incredible person I've ever met. I'd move mountains for you - God knows I've tried."

He said the last sentence in a whisper, barely loud enough for her to catch - he didn't mean her to, really. Her eyes softened, but were still stained with the bitter pain of heartbreak.

"Bryce, please."

Pathetic, she felt. She was standing in her own kitchen, asking to be loved. How humiliating. The mortification overwhelmed her and pushed a steady flow of salty tears to run down her frowning face. She hugged herself in an attempt to feel less exposed under his watchful gaze.

Silence washed over them. He was racking his brain for ways to soften the blow to her, but part of him knew nothing could make the rejection she would face any easier. But this was for her own good, right? She was away from his buried feelings, away from the toxicity of his past, away from his unwanted trust issues. Sunny deserved someone who would grant her full, raw honesty and a stable relationship, because he could never give them to her.

"I can't. I can't do this, I'm sorry." His throat was constricted and strained the tone of his voice. She shut her eyelids as the words she was waiting for finally broke the silence that suffocated them and tested their diminishing patience. Despite her closed eyes, her cheeks were covered with a new coat of tears and her bottom lip trembled. She sucked it into the grasp of her teeth to try to keep it steady and hide how much his rejection truly affected her.

"Can you at least tell me if you felt anything at all?" mumbled Sunny weakly. "Is it just your insecurity holding you back, or do you really not love me?"

Nothing could prepare her or him for his answer. Bryce took a deep, shaky breath, mulling over whether or not he should tell the biggest lie he'd ever utter or yell the truth at the top of his lungs. Sadly, in the end, he knew better than to give her false hope for what never will, and did the only thing he knew would ensure he would never hurt her after that devastating moment.

"No, Sunny, I don't. I never did."

possible part three?

Okay okay, you twisted my leg dammit! Gove me some Nathan Wallace love! Give me the ANGST, the LOVE, the HORROR! You happen upon him in an alley way, ripping a kidney from some poor sap in his Repo Man mode, and in the light of the mask (idk magic somehow), you see it's none other than the man you've been dating for a year, Nathan Motherloving Wallace. You told this man you loved him, and here he is being the one thing you are repulsed by in this world. Can it be fixed?! TUNE IN AND FIND OUT. ♡

I owe it to you ❤️

This prompt is fucking amazing, too!

Nathan Wallace

You met Nathan at a pretty hectic period of his life. Shilo was really starting to grow adventurous, which worried poor Nathan to death, and repos were through the roof. But when Shilo pushed you two together in attempts for a new start for a family he couldn’t agree more with her. And what an absolute doll you were to him and Shilo. A new start wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

It wasn’t until a few months into the relationship that you dropped it on Nathan. His victim of the day was plastered in the newspaper, typical Repo Man Strikes Again! headline. 

“Disgusting” you muttered under your breath

 “Hmm, what was that honey?” Nathan had been making cups of coffee for you both

“This Repo Man. I mean, why can’t whoever runs GeneCo just… Oh I don’t know, maybe not go to such extreme measures. These poor people being killed for paying not even a minute late! God, it’s just so… vile… And the so called ‘Repo Man,’ pshh what a sick bastard.”

Nathan practically dropped his mug onto the floor. You had a very solid point. Rotti was caught up in his own sick and twisted world that Nathan just so happened to be apart of. He didn’t want to do it, really, but another part of him fed off of the feeling. God, why did you have to have such strong feelings?

But GeneCo was nothing to be messed with. Nathan would do his work and just not speak of it. He was a completely different man towards you and Shilo

“You’re right dear, a sick, evil bastard.” Those words applied to him, but he knew that it was true. The Repo Man was a bastard that was planted into Nathan head. But it had to be done

From then on, Nathan couldn’t help but think of your words as he prepared to go out for the night. Every possibility of you finding out rushed through his mind like a high speed car chase. His head pounding from the thought of having disappointed and letting down someone else that he loved and cared for

Today, however, was the mark of your One Year anniversary, and only one Repo had to be made before dinner would go on and he would spend his cozy little night in with you

You, having your own little plans for Nathan, needed a few things from the store. A little this and that, a card and maybe something for tonight dinner. Tonight was going to be just about the both of you, and with Nathan out for a while, now was the perfect time for you to gather what you needed to make the night special

Nathan continued to tell himself that the moment he reached kidney host, he would deliver it back to GeneCo and he on his way back home. The guy wasn’t even that hard to find either. His records say he didn’t leave home much was a little shack in an alleyway. How convenient, he wouldn’t have to move him away from the public’s eye himself

A quick SLASH and SPLAT got the job done. The rest of the clean up would be left to whatever news cast found it in the morning, but now it was time to head home to his beloved-

“Nathan?”

It was just the voice he didn’t want to hear. That sweet and charming voice he heard cox him up every morning. That sweet and dashing voice that told him to have a good day after a kiss on the cheek. That swe-

You stood at the entrance of the alleyway, the bag of groceries spread across the ground in a heap, your hands up to your face in pure terror

You saw Nathan rip the life right out of the poor man, at least you didn’t know it until he looked up at you, a slight glare across his mask to reveal to you that is was, in fact, your Nathan Wallace. Tears swelled in the corner of your eyes as anger and betrayal slowly crept through your veins

Nathan couldn’t to anything. The sharp twang of “Oh god what have I done” and the tears in your eyes completely paralyzed him; he too, wanted to cry. He outstretched his hand towards you in an attempt to make it all better, but you rejected it with a harsh turn, running off in the opposite direction of him

Every part of you hated him, but at the same time you wanted to turn back around and at least confront him but tell him how much you loved him. But the Repo Man? The very thing you told him you absolutely hated and despised, and yet he agreed. You wouldn’t even know how to confront him let alone look at him. Maybe, just maybe once he got home you could talk it out with Nathan. What a heated dinner tonights will be

Nathan was left in the alleyway, the fog and red hues reflecting off of his now unmasked face. He slumped to his knees onto the ground. One year. it just had to be at the mark of your One year. He closed his eyes and tilted his head upwards to the dark sky, as it began to rain, “Oh, what have I done?”

Gladnis AU(10 year time skip tho) where Ignis gets his sight back, and the first thing he sees is Gladio. But 32 year old Gladio and his reaction is like "Oh my gods you've gotten even more beautiful,"

I received this back on Monday, while I was in school, and let me tell you, dearest anon, IT MADE MY ENTIRE EVENING AND NIGHT AND THE REST OF TUESDAY BECAUSE GODS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

I was sat there in the classroom and just casually checked the hour, saw the entry, read it and I was just like “Aaaaw ;______;” and couldn’t focus for like ten minutes AND IT WAS FANTASTIC I regret NOTHING, ahahahaha *evil gladnis laugh*.

Seriously, though….this scenario is…so perfect?!?!

I’m sitting here, reading this again and feeling like it’s the first time all over again and I just- *deep breath* this is so gods damn amazing and I can’t stand it and I’m just hyperventilating becauSE 

*DEEP BREATH*

*ugly sobbing*

THIS IS SO PURE, GODDAMMIT, I’d love to turn this into a proper fanfic but time won’t let me and I just ajsdfd gods damn ;A;

You know what would make it super extra fluffier? The fact that maybe Gladio’s a bit scared of Ignis’ reaction to seeing him again. ♡ ～(‘u^人)

Wanna add it a little angst? It happens after Noct’s sacrifice.

And we make it a tad bit bittersweet? We make Ignis looking at Gladio for first time a surprise for Gladio himself, surprise of sorts, I guess. 

So maybe someone has found a way of healing Ignis’ injuries and blindness, and he decides to take the risk. So there’s the Gladnis post-story, finally leaving in peace, together, with no more duties than live for themselves once more. When they scheduled Ignis’ surgery or whatever process it can be to give him back his sight, he and Gladio spend an entire evening discussing and sharing happily what things Ignis has to see, where Gladio has to take him, where they’ll travel for Ignis to see again, the people he should see and their change, and of course, the first thing that Ignis should see.

The conversation turns a bit sad, rather bittersweet by that point, and there may be some silence. And then, Gladio suggests it.‘Dawn. The first thing you should see should be dawn. You should see how precious it is. Noct left the most precious, most beautiful dawn for us to see. You should see that first.’

It was harsh for everyone. Prompto sometimes still tears up in the mornings, and he hasn’t been able to return to Insomnia ever since Noct’s funeral. Gladio sometimes finds himself to wake up and find out he had been crying midsleep.But he knows how deep it affected Ignis in particular.Prompto was the best friend, and Gladio the older brother and sworn shield, but the thing with Ignis was that he literally grew up only for Noctis; Ignis basically didn’t live, all that he ever did since he was 6 was only to aid Noct’s life. He did it proudly and joyfully, but that was the truth; Ignis did nothing other than attend Noctis. Noct gone, somehow the biggest part of what Ignis used to be was no more. So it was pretty harsh on him. Maybe not more than in the other two, maybe just different, but definitely a particular kind of pain.

So Ignis doesn’t even reply. He just nods in silence, serious. 

Sometimes, in the days waiting for his surgery or whatever brings his sight back, when the mood was lighter, Ignis said that he was eager to see Gladio. Sometimes, he said that was the first thing that he wanted to see. Sometimes, he said that ‘after dawn’, the first thing he wanted to see was Gladio. He insisted that he wanted to see it, first or not, but he was so, so eager like he had not remembered to have ever been before about something. He wanted that, he wanted, he wanted. 

And Gladio would joke about it. Would give away comments the ‘But let’s be careful, my beauty may be too bright and could blind you again’ (don’t worry, Ignis doesn’t take that as rude and just delivers a joke back).But sometimes he would just chuckle or give a vague agreement.Because, truth is, he’s a bit scared of what Ignis will think.

At first he had not thought about it, but as the day got closer, Gladio had started to look at himself more often in the mirror. At first it was a glance or two. But he soon found himself overthinking and overanalyzing his looks, staring at himself more than he had ever done before, look at spots, and he starts growing a bit anxious about it. Because he’s young, but not as young as when Ignis last saw him.

He’s wrinkle free (for gods sake, he’s just 34), but he knows he doesn’t look like a brand new young man. And his scars, gods, did they look better when he was 23 or will Ignis see them the same? And his hair…Gladio liked it much better than when he was younger, but he’s now senselessly thinking on it and whether he looks as good as he thinks or not really. And what about his mustache asojdsofdj should I shave should I not shave and whataboutthis and did I have this spot before and whatisthisthing and whatwillIgnissay  gods FUCK  (Come on, we all know older Gladio looks AMAZING, but he doesn’t see that like we do, so…).

So Gladio grows nervous on that. Because he sees Ignis and gods, dear Astrals above, he’s just so sure Ignis is like wine; he just gets better with age. But what about him? Does he get better, too? Maybe it’s that Gladio had seen Ignis all across that time and he didn’t notice his change in a snap but rather step by step But Ignis…the last that Ignis had seen of him was when he was 23. Eleven years is quite a number. 

So the day finally happens. The whatever process required of Ignis to keep the eyes bandaged for at least 12 hours, so they do it this one evening, and the morning after, before sun comes up, they wake up as arranged, in an excited but silent air, and they get up to be prepared. Gladio drives Ignis to the Citadel and takes him to the rooftop, one of the highest spots in the Citadel to watch in the distance. The drive is mostly quiet, but the joy is almost tangible. Eleven years in the dark, finally fixed. 

And so, the moment soon comes. Gladio takes him close to the edge, facing East, and both talk quietly every now and then, a few comments here and there, before Gladio guesses it’s time. So, quietly, he tells so to Ignis, and turns him around, standing behind him, and Gladio himself starts undoing his bandages. Once they come off, Gladio keeps them to his eyes a few moments.

“Ready?”

“As much as I can be.”

Finally, Gladio removes it full this time. 

Ignis still keeps the eyes closed for a moment, and they start blinking. And so, he opens them.And he can see.And there’s that tiny dot of light in the horizon.And he can see it.He’s sensing it, and seeing it.

And here there could be two options that I’ll melt into one because #timeandspacelol. So Ignis watches the sun start to rise. Sees the little dot starting to turn bigger, and watches the sky turn from black to a line of golden, that eventually paints the sky in red. And it keeps growing. It almost feels like music, quiet and bittersweet. There’s light going in every direction, born from the astro king. From the sun of dawn.From the King of Light.From Noct. 

Ignis watches it, watches all. The sun, its beams, the sky, its colors, the clouds, the change of palette, gradual and eventual, the buildings of the distance, the tiny silhouette of the outside wall, the sea….it’s beautiful. Impossible to look away.

Yet, he does. He looks away.

Out of nowhere, Ignis turns around over his heels, eyes closed. Gladio’s a bit startled at the motion, because he had not expected Ignis to look away from the sun of dawn for at least fifteen more minutes, but there he was, facing him now, eyes closed. Gladio feels his stomach drop to his feet, and some black hole behind the lungs swallowing his organs, because he’s impossibly nervous. He feels like this is the most important event of his life, that Ignis is about to see him again. He should be excited, but he’s not. He’s scared and nervous.

Without seeing, Ignis takes his hands without saying anything, and he brings them up, placing them quietly and gently on his face. Gladio’s still startled and nervous, but he doesn’t question Ignis and only keeps the hands on his beloved one’s face. 

And so, smiling softly, with Gladio holding his face, Ignis opens the eyes.

And he can see Gladio.And he’s seeing him.And he’s seeing him.

And the reaction is immediate; Ignis’ soft smile immediately vanishes, and his expression softens in a way that makes Gladio’s heart stop and ache inside. If he had to describe it in some way, he would say Ignis’ expression dropped. Because it felt like someting falling and shattering. Like a child running downstairs with the biggest of joys reflected on his tiny smile because he’s about to see Santa, but suddenly walks in on his dad putting the presents under the tree.It feels like disappointment. 

So Gladio says nothing and tries forcing a smile at him, but he can’t help the clear signs of worry and some sadness in his expression. Ignis doesn’t seem to catch it; he’s still staring at Gladio in awe. Soon enough, the recently healed man moves a hand up and places it on Gladio’s cheek. It hesitates an inch from his skin, before landing, and Gladio feels a bit rejected at the motion. Ignis’ hand slightly trembles against him. 

“My gods…Gladio…”

Ignis sounds breathless and he still has that shocked expression. Gladio eventually lets go of Ignis’ face, but the man’s other hand catches one of Gladio’s midwair and keeps it gripped. Gladio stares at him, trying to hide all his fear, and he suddenly feels something inside himself drop when Ignis’ eyes get all watery.And, suddenly, Ignis is smiling at him in a way Gladio had not ever seen before.Like a groom seeing his bride in her dress for the first time.Like Prompto stares at dawn.Like those videos of people reuniting with their family after ten years.Like Gladio had died, and had just come back to life after a decade.

Because besides smiling, Ignis starts crying.

“Gladio, you’re even more beautiful than before…”

And, of course, that takes Gladio off guard. All that he can do is look at Ignis eyes widened and mouth slightly opened. He grips back on the hand that Ignis is holding, and he looks a bit puzzled at the shorter man. Some moments later, Gladio smiles at him with a little exhale escaping him, and he feels his eyes start to water as well. Both grin at each other, and Ignis is still staring at him and holding his face and still crying. His eyes move everywhere, on every single inch of Gladio’s face. 

Gladio just lets him, and every second he does but widen the smile, because Ignis is looking at him like Gladio really is the most beautiful thing  in the entire universe. 

“Iggy, sweetheart, you’re missing the rest of dawn…”

“The past where it belongs” Ignis tells him. “Noct is gone and I have to accept that. But you’re still here. With me.” Ignis takes both of Gladio’s hands with his own. “Enough of looking at the past. I want to look at my present and future. And both, my darling, both are you.”

It’s then when Gladio drops his own tears. It’s joy, of course. But it’s so much joy it also hurts. Like excess of ice burns, the amount of happiness is so great it’s aching. Ignis had always had a way with words, had always been a silent romantic, but this was far more than Gladio could handle. It was not just their romance; all this involved Noctis, too, their loved friend and brother. It involved Ignis’ accident and injury. It involved everything they had lost and won, everything they had to let go, and everything they were earning now.

Gladio, crying as well, nods at him only, because he can’t speak anymore. He brings Igni’s hands up and kisses them, before Ignis lets go of one of them just to hold Gladio’s face again, caress it gently, clean away his tears while Ignis himself cries. 

They had planned to look at dawn that morning. That was literally the only thing on the list. But none look at it. They look at each other’s crying eyes and nowhere else for as long as sunrise happens. None look at their past. Both focus on their present and future, both held in each other’s eyes and just that. 

And the sun shines particularly soft and bright that morning.Like it’s happy to see them like that. Carrying on, together, and finally out of the dark.

Aaah…

Anon.

Anon this is a beautiful scenario. Thank you so much, anon :’)

Edit: Well, damn, this is longer and more formal than I intended.Almost-a-fanfic. ‘I don’t have the time’, I said. ‘I’ll keep it short’, I said.

Fearghal & Fraze

Fearghal: Your sister has had the baby, 10.30 ish this morning, both healthy, no complications Fraze: Cheers for letting me know Fraze: I'll have to give her a bell when she's home Fearghal: Yeah about that Fearghal: if you could give her a couple of days, it'd be greatly appreciated Fraze: What's the craic? Caleb being a twat again like or what? Fearghal: No, well, not exactly but there is some shit she needs to get in order Fearghal: on strict orders to tell you all as much as you need so you're not worried but she'll give you the rest in her own time Fearghal: thought I'd get to you sharpish, on the off chance Ro wants to talk to Bea about it Fearghal: Know they don't usually talk but, she might, I dunno Fraze: Fucking hell Fraze: The kid got two healthy heads? Fearghal: As good as, son Fearghal: that's how it feels Fearghal: The kid ain't Calebs Fearghal: obviously so, you understand Fraze: Jesus Christ Fraze: It's white, ain't it? Fraze: What's Ali doing about it Fearghal: Right Fearghal: Keeping it of course Fearghal: but that has everything else a bit up in the air, her and the lad, he's meant to be going off to Singapore with her Fraze: Does she know who the other lucky lad is? Maybe he'll take the plane seat Fearghal: Oi, enough of that Fearghal: She does and it isn't fucking likely Fraze: Calm down, da, you know I've got her back Fraze: You gonna go round there and sort him? You ain't getting any younger, gotta be careful Fearghal: Fucking cheek Fearghal: Don't think there's much point, no talking to some people and anyway, what do I do for the best? Fearghal: She doesn't want him, get nothing forcing a piece of shit Father on the poor little sod Fearghal: Might be better off with him out of it frankly Fraze: She knows how to pick 'em Fearghal: Sound like your Mother, boy Fearghal: can't say he doesn't love his kids Fraze: Poor cunt Fraze: I'd go mad Fearghal: Same Fearghal: its not all it sounds, she's not cheated or been reckless but Fearghal: I'll let her explain herself Fearghal: Poor kid, all she's been doing since Fraze: It's a head fuck all round Fraze: Fair play if she's got any words Fearghal: She needs all the support she can get right now Fearghal: that's all we need from you lot, got it? Fraze: yeah yeah old man I hear you Fraze: What you think, I'm gonna wet the baby's head and drown the poor fucker Fraze: Come on Fearghal: You're not exactly known for your tact, are ya son Fearghal: Hence the preparation so you don't say something really fucking stupid Fraze: She's still my sister even if she is making a holy show of it Fearghal: None of you are angels Fearghal: but we're family, its a life sentence, no parole Fraze: Too right Fraze: Who's telling Joe? Fearghal: You can, if you'd like Fearghal: no chance of me or your Ma getting a response really but Fearghal: know he feels he can to you lot, when the mood takes him Fraze: Putting it strong but I will for what it's worth Fraze: He's gotta be told Fearghal: Cheers Fearghal: and if you could forewarn Bea to be on her best behaviour should Ro come-a-knocking Fearghal: rather you than me Fraze: Cheers yourself then Fraze: Ali coming back to yours? Fearghal: For now, yeah Fearghal: got about a month 'til she goes Fearghal: if she does Fraze: Rather you than me Fraze: Don't miss the kids being that small Fearghal: Loving the terrible twos that much, are ya? Fraze: I love a row, yeah? Fraze: It's hilarious Fearghal: Any excuse for a tantrum eh Fraze: Buster clocked me the other day, I was well proud Fraze: Great jab on him Fearghal: 'Course he does, he's a McKenna Fearghal: know what to get him for their next birthday then, I'll tell Ma Fraze: Speaking of, does Hallmark do a 'sorry your kid came out white' card or we improvising that hard on the gift front? Fraze: Fucked us all up there Fearghal: Funny, keep it up and you'll be dealing with worse than your toddler's Fearghal: I'm not sure she's incredibly arsed but you know what you need, wasn't that long ago Fearghal: She's not going to start sobbing at the sight of a babygro Fraze: I was gonna get her and the lad shit for Singapore case they started missing the homeland Fraze: Awkward Fraze: I bet she's desperate to fuck off out of it now Fearghal: It'll still be appreciated Fearghal: Last I heard she's determined to still go Fearghal: I'll intercept the post if there's a change of plans, like Fraze: She'll go just to prove she can Fraze: Stubborn fuck Fraze: Good thing the real dad don't want a look in like Fearghal: Mother's daughter Fearghal: Yeah, no danger of that Fearghal: Maybe when they come back he'll have manned up Fraze: I can't imagine having to hop on a plane every time your kid's got a shitty nappy Fraze: Don't sound like he's bothered though Fraze: Not like she needs him Fearghal: Nah Fearghal: Not every cunt is lucky enough that the relationship with the Ma works out though Fearghal: can't have the kid or her all to yourself all the time if you've fucked it Fearghal: but co-parenting and sharing is better than nothing Fearghal: if you ask me but he disagrees Fraze: No cunt'd keep me from my kids Fraze: Nothing to do with luck Fraze: It's an excuse for him to be a pussy and cry off if he gets challenged later Fraze: Can't be that loved up with her if it's the first we've heard Fraze: He's a twat. End of Fearghal: You know what I mean Fearghal: Heaven forbid you two ever broke up, you'd do what you could and make the most of your time with them Fearghal: Not sulk like a soppy twat because its unfair Fearghal: The feeling certainly is not mutual, from what I understand, at any rate Fearghal: But I thought the same Fraze: You gonna say next that it was all bad luck Ronnie's da was a waster and bowed out? Fraze: Some cunts honestly Fraze: Too busy crying to wipe your kids eyes Fraze: Ali's well rid Fearghal: I've got no room to judge Fearghal: he was a kid, made my own mistakes at his age, arguably as bad Fearghal: S'too short to be angry about it, you just have to get on with it Fraze: You don't get to be a kid when you have one, simple as Fraze: Tell me who the cunt is of Ali's I'll write that on his head for him Fraze: Proper spell it out Fearghal: Nah, you don't Fearghal: but even if you don't raise the kid, your childhood's still gone Fearghal: I doubt Josh went on to do great things with his life, or he don't have regrets about how he handled it Fearghal: I don't think its my place, son Fraze: Ma had me though, don't get greater, yeah? Fraze: I reckoned on you saying that. Ah well. Had to give it a shot Fearghal: So you say, so you say, boy Fearghal: You know you'd never hear the end of it Fearghal: Wouldn't be appreciated, like Fraze: Yeah Fraze: Probably won't hear the end of Bea if I don't tell her who it is though Fearghal: She'll probably work it out Fearghal: They're brighter than us Fearghal: Your Ma didn't seem surprised but first I'd heard of it Fearghal: Naturally, or maybe coulda intervened before now Fraze: Sounds legit Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: Our family needs their heads banged together, us two excluded Fearghal: Preaching to the choir boy Fearghal: we do alright Fraze: You were never a choir boy Fraze: Might bring Joe out of his hole, I'd take that Fearghal: 'Course I was Fearghal: fucking angelic, mate Fearghal: Yeah Fearghal: as usual, keep us posted Fraze: Fuck off Fraze: The cat thinks you're dying when you let a tune out Fraze: 'Course Fearghal: Well, lots changed since those days Fearghal: Balls dropped for one Fearghal: Career over Fraze: Regrets, you've got a few, yeah? Fraze: On you go, lad Fearghal: Too right, take me back Fearghal: Miss those nuns Fraze: Bet they miss you too Fearghal: I wouldn't bet on it but you know Fearghal: Only got better with age, in all the ways Fraze: Don't fancy your odds? More for them Fearghal: Oh trust me, you don't wanna face them on anything Fearghal: There's a reason we spared you the Catholic Schools Fearghal: aside from being relapsed and your Ma a filthy heathen Fraze: That'd do it Fraze: Damned the lot of us Fearghal: Might've done Fearghal: Not what we had in mind but Fraze: You're alright da I've competed my fair share of sins Fraze: Heaven's not a place for me Fearghal: I reckon we're best off if I don't know Fraze: Pissed my own bed with no help from ya, either way Fearghal: Oh well, at least we'll all be in the same place on the otherside Fraze: Stuck with all of yous Fearghal: Looks like it Fearghal: Tried to lose you all back in Liverpool but Fearghal: ya followed Fraze: Shouldn't have had a pint in your hand constantly it'd be easier to get rid of me Fearghal: 🍀 Fearghal: What can I say? Fraze: Given up the cigs yet, mate? Fearghal: Have you? Fearghal: Cheeky git Fraze: That's a no Fraze: And with a newborn in the house! Shocking behavior like Fearghal: Well, might be able to get through a whole pack by myself without your thieving mitts about, eh? Fraze: Quick learner and I had a good teacher Fearghal: How did any of ya survive honestly Fearghal: God knows Fraze: 🍀 Fearghal: Must be Fraze: Unless the bloke from downstairs with the horns wants to take credit, like Fearghal: If so, you're slacking in spreading the evil about for him Fraze: Got the next generation to do it for me Fearghal: Started doing that Damien shit have they? You were a bugger for staring at us as we slept, creepy lil fucker Fraze: Those twins from the Shining have got nothing on my two Fraze: Thank Christ they weren't both girls Fearghal: Woulda been a cracking costume but not good for your nightmares Fearghal: Ahh, those were the days Fearghal: Appreciate 'em Fraze: I do Fraze: It's fucked up that lad is so keen to miss out Fearghal: Well, he hasn't got the experience to know what he's depriving himself of Fearghal: Hm, might've been a giveaway that Fraze: I swear not to break his legs Fraze: Not looking to get you in shit with the girls Fearghal: I understand Fearghal: Its very fucking tempting Fearghal: You've got three guesses, use your head, kid, given enough away like Fraze: I reckon he's the kind of cunt to shop us, wouldn't put it past him by the sounds Fraze: Last thing anyone needs Fearghal: No chance, which makes it all the more Fearghal: Type of lad who can't go running to garda for anything Fraze: Fuck Fearghal: Yeah Fearghal: Why else would Ro be in a fucking state too Fearghal: Bastard Fraze: She's always in a state about something Fraze: I can't blame her this time though in fairness Fearghal: Apparently, its been years in the making, you know the type, gets so many yes' Fearghal: A no don't sit right, it wasn't THAT though, before you really get angry Fearghal: the chase, whatever, we've all been there and its obvious he's a scumbag but her sister Fearghal: Didn't need to go there, did he? Fraze: Opportunistic cunt Fraze: I bet he got her drunk as well as Fraze: Biding his time 'til she was at any rate Fraze: She wouldn't go near him otherwise and he knows it Fearghal: She was, your Brother reluctantly told us, didn't wanna snitch but wanted us to have the full picture Fearghal: it was back when Caleb wasn't coping with the boy and they had their break Fearghal: Your Sister wasn't coping as well as she fronted either, apparently Fraze: Fair play to Tommo, this lad's a bigger rat Fraze: Glad he had her back when it was kicking off like Fearghal: Yeah, glad she had someone she could confide in Fearghal: 'cos obviously Ro was out of the question Fearghal: So much for loyalty from him to Caleb though...after all that family has done for him Fraze: Yeah Fraze: Great lad all round, ain't he Fraze: No surprise he isn't stepping up for his kid Fearghal: Yeah, not unless she stays with him Fearghal: Over my dead body, sunshine Fearghal: She won't, even if she has to leave without Caleb, she's not daft Fraze: Over his if he fucking tried it Fraze: Nobody's keeping her from going Fearghal: Its all she's wanted and worked for Fearghal: Though your mother isn't thrilled about the idea of her going out there alone with 3 babies in tow Fearghal: I'm not either but I know she can Fearghal: fucking how, I do NOT know Fraze: None of us want her over in wherever the fuck but it's where she's gotta be Fearghal: Right Fearghal: None of you can be normal and do one thing at a time, can you? Fraze: Who'd you think we got that off, you soft twat Fearghal: Fair, I never did the School thing and your Mum only went back inbetween you lot and Mr Oopsy-Baby himself Fearghal: Still proud of her Fearghal: and yous, glad you are but fucking hell Fearghal: gonna be in the ground 'fore the year is out, I tell ya Fraze: It'd be one hell of a party but there's plenty of shit to celebrate before you pop your clogs Fraze: If only Ali not being saddled with the local wannabe Fearghal: True Fearghal: I'll do my best to stick around then Fearghal: No promises Fraze: Try and earn a bit more before you're in the ground Fraze: Save us lot paying out Fearghal: Just fling me in the sea Fearghal: I'll write it in the will, no suspicions like Fraze: Trying to get the garda on me, are ya? Fraze: Unlucky Fraze: Gotta get up earlier than that, lad Fearghal: Oh well, had to try, ay? Fearghal: Reckon Rock's still young enough to fool Fearghal: Probably have me off the cliff whilst I'm still living like Fraze: He would Fraze: Watch yourself Fearghal: Got to Fearghal: Got Rio running 'round doing his bidding at the mo Fearghal: not needed tonight but might escape to the pub for the peace Fearghal: Irish Da style Fraze: 'course Fraze: Have one for me Fraze: Cambs can't compete Fearghal: I'll save it for the next time yous are over Fraze: Get yourself down here and save me from all these posh twats Fearghal: No chance, lucky you got a mongrel of an accent, catch a note of mine and I'll be banned with the dogs and blacks Fraze: Might get that burial sooner than you reckoned Fraze: Make your mind up Fearghal: Reckon I could take 'em but not in the courts like Fearghal: they'd have to fucking kill me, got no dosh to dole out Fraze: I'll let you off then Fraze: This once Fraze: Less good for us lot behind bars than you'd be in a box Fearghal: Know what I'd prefer Fearghal: Might bump into one of me brothers Fraze: Perfect time for a family reunion right now Fearghal: Fuck no Fearghal: Avoiding 'em in hell too like Fraze: Best of luck with that one Fraze: I'll raise a glass to it Fearghal: You can raise it again to the fact you never had to meet 'em Fraze: Any excuse for another drink, yeah Fearghal: If MY Da taught me anything worth remembering Fraze: A recycled lesson would be the only one I take to heart Fraze: fuck's sake Fearghal: What can I say? Fearghal: Not full of wisdom just full of shit Fraze: That makes one of us Fearghal: When yours can string a proper sentence together come back to me boy Fearghal: see how clever you feel when a kid's running rings round ya Fraze: Never gonna happen, I've got all the answers Fearghal: 😂 Fearghal: Well, best be off Fearghal: the kids are running riot and the baby is screaming along with your Ma so Fearghal: that's my cue to jump ship Fraze: yeah don't let me keep ya Fearghal: Catch you later mate Fraze: Look after yourself Fraze: And that lot Fearghal: Will do Fearghal: You and yours like