Pet peeve related to a post of mine that people have been tagging weirdly: I don’t get why you would call a dude who’s caring towards kids a mother. like "oooh he’s such a mom for this." No he’s not? You’re not breaking any gender norms, just drawing attention to the fact you believe so deeply that childcare is a woman’s job that you can’t conceive of a man filling that role.

Or if what you’re saying is actually: "he’s caring in the way mothers are caring," you’re still not making a revolutionary statement. You’re saying tenderness and gentleness are inherently feminine and unmanly. It’s like saying that a man doing the dishes or baking is "wife-coded" which I’ve seen some of you say btw. Which is insane to me

If you’d say of a nurturing guy that he’s a mother then I have to assume you’d call a tough gal who teaches kids to play rough a "father". (I know you wouldn’t and yet it’s the exact same thing.) And mulling that over for a minute should make it plain to you why that’s just a sexist view of parenthood.