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justfangstvdto · 2 years

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Open Coffin 2 | Chapter 08 “What is love, if not pain endured?"

Chapter warnings: typical tvd violence, mentions of torture (mental and physical), wounds and blood, some timeline divergence, kind of a cold and confusing open but it'll make sense, a lot of shit is happening in this one... Whew

Word count: 5730

Tags & Author Note at the bottom. Feedback is my lifeblood and keeps the writing coming (eventually…lol)

Soreness dug into your bones, aching at the flesh that surrounded them. Your hands were bound upwards, like angel wings they cascaded towards the ceiling while your feet were bound with shackles around your thighs. How many times the day and night hunted each other you had no idea, nor how much Esther's mental torture was working. She and Finn had been digging around in your mind endlessly ever since they dragged you away. Only now, after a day-long session, they let you truly rest for the first time.

You groaned as you awoke from an exhaustion-fueled nap, cursing the magical trinket above you that held your shackles in place. If not for it, you could have easily escaped the second they left you alone.

Shuffling from the other side of the room made you raise your head. A figure stood in the tombs hallway, moving towards you in steady steps. With your blurred vision, you only saw blood-ridden skin and clothing as the person neared. Dark mischievous eyes met yours soon after, which bore an unmatched rage yet softened when you finally saw him.

"How are you here?" You asked, even though you knew the answer. There was only one.

"Esther. She brought me back as motivation. I had other plans" Kol smirked before tugging at the protection trinket that hung above your head. It ripped in half easily, as did the chains that no longer kept you prisoner.

"Feet shackles too, huh?" He snickered.

"I tried to strangle her with my thighs at least once" You shrugged.

"That's my girl." He chucked before offering his hand. "Let's bugger off before we have to fight our way out of here."

Not that they would stand a chance if it came down to it

A block away you stopped speeding and pulled him into a long wished hug amongst passersbys. His shoulders were steady and you clung to them like the smell of fire clung to fabrics. With your time spent together, there was always a certainty of a goodbye coming too soon. So when he tried to pull away, you shook your head and only slung your arms tighter around him.

He lifted your head with a soft touch under your chin, pressing his lips onto yours. The kiss felt almost too real, the colors around you too bright, the soft touch of his lips too comforting - it felt like a fairytale. But your life was a Grimm fairytale at best, bloody and unrelenting. For now, you could at least pretend that it was real.

"How about we pick up a few road trip snacks? " He nodded towards a couple that was loading up their car in front of a two-story house.

"Later." You shook your head.

First, you had to get further away from the city centre. You took his hand before speeding away to the far eastern parts of the city. Passing Poland Avenue you travelled hand in hand across train tracks and barbed wire fences to reach the decommissioned naval base. It had one of the best vantage points in the city, especially now with the sun almost waking from its slumber.

One vampire strength induced jumps and you stood atop the flat concrete roof. Just below your feet a phrase in graffiti two stories high was scribbled along the base's massive barrier: "OPEN YOUR EYES."

Dangling your feet over the edge you sat there, Kol's arm around you while holding unto his hand as if he would disappear. In his arms, you felt soft, flayed open for the fading stars to see beneath your skin and reveal your sins. You were never a saint nor was he. Never was. Living life like yours won't likely end peacefully you reckoned, but being here now was all that mattered.

And maybe, maybe, nothing ever really mattered at all. That maybe, nothing ever made any sense because this, him right here next to you, his hands devotedly holding on to you like your all he has, is all the sense you've ever been able to make of this world.

But despite the reassuring shoulder you leaned into, the sun and with it the truth that lay hidden in the cloak of night soon revealed itself and you had to face your less-than-ideal reality. This dreamlike exit from your current life in New Orleans was ideal - perhaps too much so - but real life was hardly dreamy.

You relished in touch for a moment longer, before you spoke "I want nothing more than you and me together like this. That's all I need" You turned to him, shifting away slightly, grasping the wooden object that had appeared behind you.

"If only it were real." Your hand was quick and ruthless as the stake into Kol's chest.

The sound of his hitched breath followed you back to consciousness as your eyes opened in a flash, staring back at the grey stone walls that had surrounded you for days now.

"Esther!!!!! " You screamed as loud as you could and your voice carried through the candle-lid tomb. She turned a corner in front of you moments later, a knowing look on her face.

"My dear please, inside voice." She said and shushed you with a whip of her finger. She reminded you of your mother then, always making sure to keep everyone quiet when your father was on a rampage again. What a fool you were to think of them now.

You shook these feelings off with a shake of your head before you spoke again "Kol died in my arms, do you think hurting or killing fake versions of him is gonna work?"

In truth it was working, perhaps not to the extent Esther had planned, but it was working regardless. How could it not? You had a heart, albeit a blackened one.

"I must say your memories are most intriguing. You've caused quite the chaos in all sorts of places. From getaway driver for the mob, inciting insurrections, to painting the town red -as they say- all on your lonesome."

"One gets bored or pissed off every now and then." You shrugged "Besides, I've done good things too, but you like to sweep those under the rug, don't you? We're all just monsters to you, right?"

"I remember we had a similar conversation long ago." She reminisced, letting her mind wander a moment "My offer remains the same. Relinquish your evil ways, be reborn a human, and I promise you, I will have Kol join your side."

It would be so easy to just say yes. You could live out the rest of your days somewhere, with no bloodlust, no family drama. It was the easiest thing to do, but sadly, easy isn't always right. Even more so when the offer comes from someone like Esther.

You caught her gaze and said "You know what my answer is. "

"As you wish." Esther walked away then, blinding another bundle of herb cuttings on a table on the other side of the room which pulled you into a trance-like state almost immediately. Damn her and her little tricks.

"I asked when you brought me here but I'll ask again. What are you trying to do here exactly?" You asked, fighting to stay awake "Break me? My mind is way scarier than you'll ever be."

"If you must know," She replied "You are linked to Niklaus which links your mind as well as your body. If I manage to get past your barricades, I will have access to his memories."

"What makes you think you can break through? Have you met me?"

A different voice spoke instead of the woman before you, and you had to stifle a laugh when he came into view.

"She has her ways." Finn walked into view ever so pretentious, a hand angled behind his back "And so do I"

The body Finn was inhabiting, Vincent Griffith, would no doubt strike fear in you with all he was involved in the past. Real bad business. But Finn, with his disguise of righteousness and overcompensated morals, evoked nothing but the desire to throttle him.

"What bore me to death? You're right, that might work." You joked, laughing at your own quip.

"I see Niklaus' company has rubbed off on you. How disappointing." He stepped closer, the glimmer of a knife bouncing off the candlelight "We ought to fix that"

When he neared, you kept your eyes firm on him, showing no inkling of emotions as the knife slid across your throat and exposed arms, bleeding you dry like a slaughtered animal.

----

You tried to not keep track of time. It made it easier. When the pain came, it came in sharp, blistering burns you tried to block out the best you could. For every painful sensation, you tried to suffocate it with memories of a better time, a warmer life;

The first taste of freedom as a newly turned vampire running away from the house that had been your prison, the heat of the fire sharp behind your back

Pain.

The sound of Stefan's happy laughter as you chased each other around the house when your father wasn't around, and his wide beaming smile when you pulled him in your arms and spun him around in a circle.

Pain.

Kol. A fierce grin, a snarky comment, a steady hand on your back when you needed it. A force of nature forged by the cruelty of life that remained ever hopeful.

P a i n

Let it be over. Please, let it be over.

P A I N

…..

Another few days went by like they meant nothing. By now you knew that nobody was coming for you. That Klaus served you up on a silver platter to soothe the codependency he shared with Elijah. It would be honorable really if you hadn't been the price to be paid for it. It was hardly a surprise, but him not even attempting to get you out of Esther's grasp was certainly one. Especially after he urged you to stay inside to be safe.

And Kaleb… well he wasn't anywhere to be seen either. He probably took the opportunity and scurried away, like they all do once you let your guard down. Either by death or abandonment, you're like a haunted house made flesh; intriguing until the door opens.

So here you were, still locked in a tomb in the cemetery, not bound to the ceiling anymore but shackled to the place by a magically sealed ball and chain.

Esther had been prodding around in your mind like a maniac in your memories as a human and beyond, hoping to find something to break you. When she was in your head, memories tended to flash by as if living on pages of a book that was hastily searched through. One minute you saw your grandmother waving at the gates to bid you farewell, then looking out of your room at night wondering how to get beyond the treeline's boundaries. Then once more you stood in front of the burning house on the outskirts of Mystic Falls where everything you loved and hoped for went up in flames.

Some recent memories followed too, the endless nights spent like savages drinking your guilt and grief away. Violence, blood, and heartache were visitors too and even flashes of Kaleb made their way into your consciousness, despite how much you wished them away.

However, what happened today was still rummaging around in your mind like a cough you couldn't shake. Esther found a memory that was not your own and she lingered, hoping it would reveal Klaus' secret. She did it then, she broke through.

You found yourself in the passenger's seat of a car that was speeding through what seemed like secluded country roads. Klaus was driving, nervously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he glanced in the back view mirror. A radio station was playing and cutting out every few feet as the car sped along, illuminating the night with bright headlights.

You snapped your finger in front of his face, not knowing if he could see you or not. But it was only a memory.

"Look into the mirror." Esther's voice was like a never-ending echo whispering and aching through every atom of your body. You resisted her demand, knowing that whatever she sensed had the potential of running everything. Esther saw what you saw so instead of looking into the mirror, you reached back with your hand. Your fingers hit the backseat first, then slipped upwards until they found a plastic object, and then further still until you touched skin. It was softer than any skin you'd touched before.

Your hand carefully grasped upwards and your breath hitched as your fingers glided over smooth skin. You continued lower, moving along grasping what you could. It felt like a small foot, almost baby-sized. Why did Klaus have a child in his back seat? That's when it dawned on you who that kid was. It had to be her. Klaus' daughter was alive. That's what he was hiding.

The car neared its destination as the headlight illuminated another car in front of you. A red sportscar with a figure standing next to it. When the light engulfed them, her long blond hair was visible from a distance, almost as bright as the smile on her face. Rebekah.

Thankfully, that's when Esther's magical connection severed and everything disappeared into particles.

Esther huffed and puffed when you came to, fueled by your lack of cooperation before she lost her composure and hurried away.

With her gone you could let your face fall. Klaus' daughter was alive. She was alive . It all made sense now. The secrecy, the mistrust, even the fear in Klaus's eyes when Mikael nearly ended him. He had a new purpose, something to fight for that wasn't tied to his family's long road of miseries.

But having that meant he also had something to lose, that wasn't easily controlled by a threat with a dagger. Welcome to the club.

But what did Esther want with her? One thing was clear, she had no good intentions and it was high time you got the fuck out of there.

…….

New guards had arrived in the hour that followed your trip of the mind. Two young men belonging to the witches. Of which coven you were not sure. They stood in front of the tomb's entrance, speaking loud enough for you to hear them.

"You know she's cuter than I thought." One of them, the tall dark-haired of the two, said "You think she would go out with me?"

"Are you dumb?" His dirty-blonde friend returned, wondering if his friend had lost his mind "You shouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole. She's with the Mikaelsons, specifically Kol scary-ass Mikaelson."

That's right.

"Yeah, but isn't he dead?"

"Nothing stays buried here, you should know that, dumbass."

The two men reminded you of the two New York residents just then, and a familiar ache crawled up your neck. If you could just break free you could sink your teeth- God you were hungry. When was the last time you fed? Hell, how long have you been here?

A shadow moved towards you, much like the torturous escapes Esther made you live through, but it wasn't Kol who came to your rescue. It was someone who had already come to your aid once before.

"Is this real??" You heard yourself saying, not sure if you actually spoke out loud

"I'm real," Marcel reassured, coming into your view more clearly. He tucked at the protection charm hanging from the ceiling, much like the dream version of Kol had, and ripped the chains in two easily.

"How did you get in here? I thought you were banned."

"I might not know much, but I sure as hell know how to be a scary son-of-a-bitch" Marcel shrugged, growing quiet for a moment to check the surroundings "Stay down and follow me."

As Marcel skillfully navigates the cemetery, a realization made itself known that, even amidst his own burdens, he saved you. Much like he saved you when you met. He was drowning in grief and self-loathing - as were you - and somehow you made it to shore together.

Crossing over the threshold, you expected to be stopped by a boundary spell but you made it through without any hitches. Which begged the question, of whether Esther was so preoccupied with something else that she became careless, or if she let you go willingly. You didn't know which version was worse.

You and Marcel kept going for a block or two until you saw someone at the end of the street. When you neared a man with a bow in his hand and, as it seemed, the world on his shoulder greeted Marcel with a nod. He seemed vaguely familiar but you could not put your finger on it.

"Who the hell is this?" You asked.

"Backup in case they got me too." Marcel explained.

The man was eyeing you suspiciously until something clicked and his face softened ever so slightly "You're Y/N Salvatore."

"One and only. I hope." You side-glanced, imagining a doppelganger of yourself out there. One of you is enough, you concluded.

"This is Ansel." Marcel stepped in, sensing the needed context "Klaus' father."

Your eyes grew wide with surprise, glancing at the only person somewhat related to the Mikaelsons you haven't met yet. Why the hell was he here? If Mikael learns of him, hell gladly kill him once again, as he did over a thousand years ago.

Ansel shifted awkwardly, clearing his throat "Esther pulled me from the other side before it collapsed."

"Does that mean…"Newly found hope ignited within you, hoping she pulled Kol from the other side too and held him, prisoner, somewhere. It would have been months by now, but one could hope.

Marcel shook his head "Haven't seen him. He'd be the first one here if he was. "

Anger rose within your tortured mind, aching away any sense left over. Of course, everyone gets resurrected, but the one person that would matter was stuck somewhere.

"Let's get the fuck out of here then." You said, "I have to visit Dracula in his castle and break a few necks and faces."

Marcel let out a huffed laugh "Not gonna lie they have it coming, but you gotta slow down. You're no use to anyone hurt or worse."

"I will." You reassured. It was a lie, and Marcel knew it, but he still nodded along.

"There's something else." He continued "Your friend, Kaleb, went out there looking for you. Tried to get to you in the cemetery before you were taken but Klaus stopped him before he could."

Kaleb…shit.

"You know where he went?" You asked.

"I heard he started asking the Tremé coven for assistance." Marcel replied, "But my guess is he got wrapped up with the no-good kind of them."

"I might have seen him a few days ago. Tall, dark hair, english accent?" Ansel asked, using a hand to indicate the height of the man he saw.

"Big mouth on him too." Marcel muttered, showing his disdain clearly.

Turning to Ansel you asked, "You mind showing me where you've seen him?" He confirmed with a quick nod.

"I'll deal with Klaus then," Marcel added, jaw clenched in anger.

"Don't bother." You told him off "He and I will have a talk eventually." Oh and what a talk that will be.

The plan was clear, but Marcel still had yet to budge, eying Ansel with a suspicious look on his face. "You sure you're gonna be OK?"

"I will be." You reassured but he had still yet to budge. He wasn't convinced, still helicopter-parenting from afar.

You confirmed again with a determined nod. Marcel was conflicted but only shrugged, drew you into a hug and told Ansel to keep an eye on you, before he walked away.

You then followed Ansel a few blocks in silence before curiosity got the better of you. It wasn't every day that someone who had died a millennium ago was now under the living again.

You cleared your throat before you spoke "Since you've been on the other side, you know how to resurrect someone?"

"You should let it be." He brushed you off with ease, not even looking in your direction "Loving a Mikaelson, it doesn't end well"

Well, that wasn't what you had expected.

"I don't care." You replied, following after him as he took a sharp turn through an alley.

"You should. Imagine your life without chasing after him and an unattainable life." Ansel spoke even though he could feel the rage radiating from you "Run far away and fast. Take that boy you're searching for with you and go."

"Don't remember I asked for your opinion".

"It's not an opinion, it's a warning. Heed it."

Who was he to evaluate your life? He all but met you minutes ago. There was no basis for his judgement. None at all. Unless...

"You spoke to him, didn't you? On the other side?"

Ansel gave a quick nod "We crossed paths. He never left your side, not once."

Your heart all but leapt out of your chest hearing him utter these words. He was always by your side. It was unfathomable really, divided by an invisible curtain of time, yet he remained steadfast.

"He told me he wanted you to move on. To be safe" Ansel added.

"Doesn't mean I have to listen to him." Kol should know you enough to know you'd never give up. Never.

"As you wish. Still, heed my warning. For your own good." Ansel said, crossing the street before he stopped, pressing his back to a wall as he looked around a corner of a building.

"Saw him sneaking into that building. Climbed the rain pipe off to the side there." He pointed to the left side of the building "Now if you don't mind, I have a business to attend to.

"Thanks for the help. You watch your back out here, alright?"

Ansel nodded and retreated into the shadows cast by the buildings that stood tall beside him.

What a peculiar man.

---------------------

It wasn't hard to find Kaleb after Ansel's tip. The Tremé coven redirected you to one of their fringe groups that were cast out for their murderous rituals. Getting the location was not hard either, looking like you just crawled out of a grave. And your reputation certainly helped too.

Breaking the door down of the long-abandoned former apartment complex was more troublesome than you would have liked. Usually, a swift kick would have sufficed.

Voices bled through the ceiling above you, and you follow them to a corridor of doors. Most were broken down or corroded, but one bore the spray-painted sigil of a coven that was banished from the Treme coven.

Swinging the door open, open you were met with a handful - maybe 8 - coven members. They dropped what they were doing immediately.

"I had a pretty shitty few days so if you want to keep your life just get the fuck out."

A few of them fled immediately, some stayed before following the others. Only one brave soul remained. You stalked towards them with your shirt still ripped, blood-soaked skin, and a look of determination that made them retreat soon after.

Kaleb was tiptoeing on the floor in the backroom of the apartment. He was bound much like you were only an hour ago. He flinched when he heard the door opening and cowered in on himself as much as he could anticipating another act of violence. His shirt was sliced open and barely hung on his shoulders, his chest, arms, and even his face were littered with cuts and bruises from beatings. He looked horrible.

He uttered your name when you released him, and he did not waste a breath and crushed his chest into yours, pressing you close.

"I thought you were done for this time" He murmured, clutching the fabric of your shirt. Warmth caressed your being, enveloping the guilt that had crept up seeing him like this because of your stupid plan. When he pulled away, he did so hesitantly, brushing his fingers along your exposed shoulder.

"I tried to" Kaleb winced as he spoke and clutched the side of his torso. "At the cemetery, I went after you."

"I know." You slumped him over your shoulder, your arm around his waist to steady him. He tried to speak again but winced instead as he tried to find his footing.

"You're ok with me carrying you?" You asked him when the shouldering resulted in a snail's speed of progress. "Or would that bruise your male ego?

"Please." He scoffed, "I'd let you carry me anywhere."

You ended up a few blocks away, resting him on a bench in Jackson Square when the rest of his energy left him and he slid off it and slumped onto the floor.

"Come on, this is ridiculous." You helped him rest his back against the bench, dropping down in front of him "You should drink. "

"No!" He pushed your wrist away with vigor. The last thing he needed was dying with vampire blood in his system.

"Then let me check your wounds at least." You asked and he nodded when you turned to look at him "Come on, St. Anne's isn't far. Just hold onto me and don't let go this time."

------------------------------

His breath was hot on your neck as your fingers worked the alcohol-soaked fabric over his wounds. He hissed as it touched the deeply scarred tissue on his bare chest. You tried not to notice the goosebumps that erupted along his neck and arms as your fingers touch him, but it was clear he was enjoying it despite the burning alcohol.

He was propped up on one of the church benches near the window, the stained glass bathing his face in colors. He was in bad shape, that much was clear, but there was a look on his face as he glanced at the blood stains on your neck and face. You knew what that look was, you recognized guilt when you saw it; it lived in the cracks of the mind, eroding sense and reason. You knew how it felt, how it chewed away at everything that was once comforting and familiar until there was nothing left but despair and an emptiness which would rather smother than save. And Kaleb's eyes spoke of nothing but guilt.

Another swipe of the soaked fabric against a fresh cut and he winced, his muscles flexing under your touch.

"I'm sorry." You moved your hand away but he caught it and pressed the fabric into his wound again. "You OK?"

"I'm alright." He grumbled.

You knew that tone, you used it far more than you cared to admit. It was the one reserved for moments when memories and feelings were too closely intertwined to separate. It was the sound of resolve slowly being pieced back together and the knowledge that, no matter what you proclaimed, he was decidedly not alright.

"What the hell did they do to you?" Your eyes roamed his bruised chest once more. Beaten black and blue adorned with cuts all over him

"Cut me open, starved, and beat me." He swallowed, thinking back on the horrible things his mind had painted when he was out of it. "They wanted me to plead with them to end it. But I'm not the pleading sort."

Silence overcame you again, accompanied only by the squirms and hisses Kaleb tried to hide when you stitched up his wounds with a needle and thread. Once done, you wrapped a few rounds of gauss around his torso, soaking up the remnants of blood.

A ghost of a smile tucked on his lips as you hand him the only t-shirt you could find on short notice. You took a seat next to him on the table. He poked his head through the opening, followed by his arms. The shirt sat a bit too tight on his frame, but it was clothing nonetheless.

"I'm glad you're safe," Kaleb said and looked at you again, and let his hand drop into yours. He watched how the reddish-brown of blood still soaked both of your skins before he spoke again "I should've tried harder to get you back."

"I'm glad you're safe too. But you shouldn't have tried to find me. It's not-"

"Worth it? Of course, you are." He didn't look away this time, certainty holding his gaze.

For a moment, you wondered why your chest suddenly felt so constricted, as if your lungs had run out of air. The problem was this: you were at that very moment having a rather difficult time forgetting what it had been like to kiss him.

Kaleb shifted under your gaze, fumbling with his fingers "When I was down there all I could think about was that night before it all went wrong."

Ah, right. The rooftop incident.

"I'm sorry.." What were you sorry for exactly? Running away after kissing him? Or kissing him at all? Or was it a bundled mess of I'm sorry's that you could never explain away?

"I'm just sorry, period." You finally said, "You got hurt, and that's on me."

"What is love, if not pain endured? "He murmured to himself as if reciting a novel whose passages were burned into his mind. Then his brain caught up with what he had just uttered and he tensed "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get ahead it's just- "

"No, it's OK. I know there was- is something. Whatever it was before, it’s more now, it’s-” You stopped short of the full declaration, swallowing around the lump in her throat.

"Maybe we should stop,” He murmured, stroking his thumb over your cheek, still holding your hand with the other “Get some distance.”

Distance. How could you remain at distance if you were so intertwined in each other's current life? But perhaps distance was achievable somehow, even if by force.

"There's a harbor not far from here, you can get on a boat or train and go." The harshness in your voice did not match the way you held onto his hand, as if you'd fall any minute.

"You really want me to go?" There was a vulnerability in his voice that made your heartbreak.

No. "Yes. If it means you'll be safe I'd do anything." You had the urge to tell him to run away, but you couldn't say it, even if you should.

"Then perhaps I should consider it." His head dropped.

“No,” You hissed, clutching his shirt tightly. “Even if this is wrong… I’m not ready to give that up before it even started.” You're the only person I have is was what you didn't say. It wasn't right nor was it fair, but it felt good. And you just wanted to feel good.

You moved your mouth against his insistently, feeling the shaking breath from his nose on your top lip as he stood stock still, shocked into inaction. You pulled away slightly, staring into his wild eyes as he exhaled quickly and dove forwards to capture your lips once again. He kissed you hungrily, his hands ghosting your sides before grabbing at your hips and pulling you against him. You capture his lips once more, but he pulled away only an inch to speak.

"I need you to know something before we-" He was out of breath, cheeks red with excitement. He cursed himself for speaking at that moment because he would curse himself even more for not speaking the words he should have said weeks ago.

But you proclaimed the moment was over before he could speak, the bubble of carefree indulgence burst for the time being.

"No, I'm sorry." You stepped out of his grasp, pursuing the wall behind you "I just... I got carried away. You're right, we shouldn't do this."

His head dropped in defeat, but he forced a smile, hoping it would ease the guilt he knew you felt. He knew he could ease the pain he could just open his mouth. Fuck it, he was just going to blurt it out and everything would be fine.

He cleared his throat and straightened himself up, raising his head to meet you on the other side of the room. When he looked, all he saw was your back heading through the towering double doors.

-----

You felt like a goddamn fool. A guilty, broken, and undeserving fool. You had overstepped the relationship you developed with Kaleb, after trying to push him away. Relationship?! You're an even bigger fool than you thought.

If he - you did not even dare to speak his name - could see you now, he'd pity himself for wasting his time on you if you gave up that easily. What a damn mess you made of things.

Hunger overcame you when the guilt subsided, and you searched for some drunken fool on the street. You clawed at their neck to feed your need, needing to taste blood on your teeth. Tonight was the night to feed, lay plans, and rest. Tomorrow-

Your thoughts were drowned out by a sudden blackness that enveloped your senses, and all you could hear was the dull thump of your body hitting the pavement.

____________

A/N: Been writing this on the music tour I'm working on, so I hope it's not too choppy or weird! As always, sorry for the long time in between! Hope you are doing well!

Also, I finished most of the editing of this chapter on the very bench from the TO finale in New Orleans, and I could cry with both happiness and sorrow. But I'm here and I saw the City and I hope some of it will translate to this and any further chapter from here on out.

#kol x reader #the originals imagine #the originals #kol mikaelson imagine #kaleb westphall #open coffin

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alittlebitofpersonality · 7 years

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aLBoP a Scam? Drama, Scandal, Ooh Ahh!

Once upon a time, last winter, we moved A Little Bit of Personality to WordPress from Blogger. It was a long, tedious process with a lot of formatting (which on some posts I’m still not pleased with). The site was down for almost a month. All the urls changed, even though I went through and made redirects for as many as I could. And all our Google+ comments got removed (which honestly was part of the point of moving platforms. It was being an annoying system).

All this led to the complex set of algorithms which is Google Search to be very confused as to what was important on aLBoP. When you Googled aLBoP or A Little Bit of Personality, suddenly it was trying to give search results of random image links and obscure posts, instead of things people really wanted to find, such as Type Specializations, the Super Simple Series or Type Heroes.

It also didn’t help that we were working on other aspects of aLBoP and life in general, so posting has been a slow game all year. As I understand it, Google prioritizes frequent posting, as well as Google+ shares (nepotism lol), neither of which were in our favor anymore.

But this also meant that non-aLBoP links, especially from popular sites, suddenly came up much earlier in search results. One in particular, with the most click-bait-y subject line ever, notably rose to the first page of search results right away: a forum thread with the subject line “A Little Bit of Personality Blog: Is it a scam or did I overreact?”

Well if the promise of a scam won’t get people to listen to you, I don’t know what will. Talk about the most buzzwordy word possible lol.

Ha, which just now when I Googled to be sure I was quoting the name of the thread correctly, I saw something relieving which I didn’t know, but I’ll talk about that in a minute here.

So I have never clicked on this link, I’m pretty sure. As soon as we were live again on WordPress, I was trying to make sure that Google had our sitemap, working on our SEO, etc., so I believe I saw that link there as early as January 2017. And seeing it there immediately upset me, not gonna lie. But I wanted to listen to the immortal words of Taylor Swift and shake it off. Plus I had way too many other things to worry about, not the least of which was continuing to be sure my links went where they said. And I also knew that reading people lying about me would just upset me and keep me from getting things done. So I went on with life and working on content like INTJ – The Dragon, which came out in February.

But apparently a lot of my aLBoP friends, (people who we’ve met through their long-time reading and loving of the site, but have become so very much more than just readers, as so many of you have ) had seen this link too, and several of them were even more upset than I was about it. They checked it out on their own and then came and told me about who had posted on the “scam” thread and what they had said.

As soon as Justin and I heard what the original poster of the thread had said, we were immediately like “Oh, him.”

Now before I go briefly into what this guy’s “grievances” were, let me tell you what I was relieved to see this afternoon while writing. When I Googled “a little bit of personality” and saw this link there, not actually clicking on it (it’s gross enough to smell a pile of poop, I don’t want to put my hand in it), it says under the link:

“Oct 2, 2015 – 10 posts – 4 authors” [emphasis added]

*Whew* when my friends were describing what was on there to me, I thought it was like pages and pages of all these people saying how much I suck! To know that it’s just four people, two of which I know who they are and knew that they were like that before they even had anything to complain about, is incredibly relieving.

Okay, so four people. I don’t know who two of them are because I haven’t actually read the thread, although it’s likely I would know them too.

Most of the people who get really angry about aLBoP are ones who liked us at first, often even people who vied heavily for our attention initially, until we say something that offends them, or more often their worldview, and then they hate us with the burning passion of suns and must tell anyone who will listen. Although I don’t think there is a single one of those people who we didn’t get a red flag in our minds at their first email, “watch out, this is one of those kinds of people” no matter how positive they were toward us at first. Observing people is our job, after all.

Person 1

So with this particular guy, the one who started the “scam” thread, *sigh* I knew from his first email “ah, one of those.”

He bought a typing + personal chat package from the store, sometime around then in 2015. We don’t actually carry personal chat time anymore, because it was taking way too much time and we were getting behind. We actually *still* have some out that we sold but haven’t done. We will either go ahead and do those ones at some point, or refund their money. But I know there were several really cool people who ordered them near the end, so I would really like to fulfill those at some point here, rather than refunding them.

Anyway, we don’t carry them anymore because they had gotten really stressful and after we had a forum, which we’ll talk more about later, we thought people can get their questions answered there anyway, answer each other’s questions, etc.

We’ve never been especially timely with Typings, but we do always get to them. I don’t remember how timely we were fulfilling this guy’s order. We do them in big batches, usually, where we sit down and type a bunch of people at once, oldest order first. So if we took a while to get back to him it wasn’t at all because he was a less pleasant customer, because the time we take has nothing to do with that. So if you have to wait a while for your Typing, it’s not because we don’t like you, lol <3 (If we’re ever taking too long, you *can* send us a polite email and ask if we can go ahead and get on it. But we always do get to it and we always feel really bad making people wait.)

Oddly, I vaguely remember doing this guy’s really fast anyway, so I don’t think that was part of the problem. We may have been like “this guy is a live wire, we shouldn’t let his sit too long.” We do occasionally do that.

Anyway, if I understand correctly, his main reasoning in calling us a “scam” is that the following happened:

1) He ordered a typing + a video chat.

2) We felt immediately “eh” about him, but fulfilled his typing order in a normal and polite fashion.

I think it was his condescending attitude toward people in general in his first email that seemed like #badsign to me.

3) He was displeased with the type we gave him. We have a post about this.

No matter how consistent and repeatable the results are, no matter how many people are over the moon about our typing of them, no matter how many people are repeat typing-customers because they see how it all lines up over and over again in real life; there are so many people who are set on the type or set of types they want to be a part of, and therefore who dislike the type we give them. But the way we Facial Type is a science, with consistent data-sets that have proven universally consistent thousands of times, holding up over time and experience. We can’t go changing the answer because somebody gets his panties in a wad.

There are also plenty of people who are personally threatened by the idea of Facial Typing at all, or just very uncomfortable about it. You are welcome to feel however you want on the topic. But I don’t understand why people order from us if they feel that way.

It’s like someone coming across town to tell you he thinks your house is ugly. I feel like “… Okay, thanks? Then don’t look at it and get off my lawn.” The internet is a big place and no one is making you stay here. Honestly there’s probably a more fitting analogy with someone who hates seafood yelling at Red Lobster or someone buying an orange and getting mad that it’s not an apple, but eh, I like the lawn one.

4) We don’t give refunds on Typings we have fulfilled. We never have, and say so very clearly on the Type Me page, which has all the instructions. That page didn’t exist in its current version at the time, but we have always listed that on pages describing the Typing process.

The effort and our typing results are what is being paid for, and people who get snotty about their results take far *more* effort than people who are happy with them. That’s not to say you are required to be happy, but that even if you are not, our time and our results have still been given to you, so we can’t just refund that. If you don’t trust our scientific process and our definitions, then that is completely your prerogative. But if that’s the case, then please don’t order a typing and waste our time, as well as yours.

5) He also applied to the, at the time, brand new Phase 2, via a separate self-invite system.

Okay, the thing to know about all our websites is that they are 100% free, always are, always have been, always will be. We currently have—*counts*—4 websites. They all have free admission and no subscription fees or anything of that nature. The only things we charge money for as part of aLBoP are specific services and merchandise. That used to include video chats, which as I said we don’t offer anymore, and now includes Personalized Typings and, hopefully in the future, merchandise such as t-shirts (you can buy t-shirts here, but I really want to make more designs and figure out a better system for producing them), patches or whatever other physical or digital items you guys might want to buy. We do not have any premium content, if the definition of “premium” is content you pay for.

All other funds from aLBoP come to us via Patreon where people can support our content, which helps us produce more of it, or via Love for aLBoP, one-time donations in the aLBoP shop. (Everyone has been remarkably patient as I haven’t been great at giving out everyone’s Patreon rewards, such as the monthly desktop wallpaper for $5+ people, etc. But I really am excited to do that and plan to do it sooooon. Not one person has said anything about it yet, I just feel really bad because your support means so much to me. <3)

HOWEVER, we do have content that is restricted to people we have given access. Like I said, we have 4 websites, of which this is the first; Phase 1 as we call it. Yes, this is a blatant reference to S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Phase 2 in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Why, yes, we are giant nerds. Here, have a picture of stick figure Phil Coulson with his gun from Avengers, if you haven’t seen it on the Phase 2 Intro site.

But while we do gate these websites–the Phase 2 Intro behind a self-invite you can use right now if you want (it’ll open up in a new tab so you don’t have to lose your spot here <3), and Phase 2 gated behind applying and us getting to know you—ALL of them are free. Let me repeat that: none of our websites cost any money. (The fourth site only has a few people on it so far and it’s still under construction anyway, but it’ll have a similar kind of gating.) These websites are provided free of charge, including our time spent on the Phase 2 forum, where we give lots of personal help and advice. We don’t even have ADS on any of the websites!!!! (Although we are considering adding them to our videos, because we find that less invasive.)

6) Where was I? Oh yeah, he had applied for Phase 2, but then we were busy and hadn’t gotten to adding people to the new Phase 2, back before the process was automated.

7) He sent an annoying displeased email. I could pull up said email now to remember the details (I never delete aLBoP emails from anyone, which is why my Gmail storage is exploding), but I really really don’t want to.

But I recall that he was firstly, really whiny about his typing. I don’t remember if he actually said he couldn’t be an F, like we had typed him, or if that was just the impression we got from his email, which is a very common tale, especially with people who hold onto the internet’s definition of Feeler. Men typed as Fs and women typed as Ts have been trends in our grumpiest clientele, because people believe that Feeler means soft like mush and Thinker means Vulcan, and people equate those to feminine and masculine traits, respectively, which is frankly pretty dumb. Although I can only blame people so much for wanting certain types, when the internet deems some types so wildly more worthwhile than others. However, how people react when they’re disappointed says a lot about them.

The second thing that really got our eyes rolling about his email was his attitude that because he had given us money, he owned our time. Money seemed like his main card to play, which makes all the more sense why he made money the focus of his thread title, calling us a scam. Anyway, it was a very “but you have to do what I say, I paid you,” attitude.

But if you’re not sure on my character judgment of him, go ahead and look at the thread. I haven’t read it, but if he doesn’t come off whiny and like someone who feels like money makes him entitled, then I will eat my hat. Well, I won’t, but it’s the only idiom I could think of. But if you don’t agree then you won’t agree, and that’ll be the end of it, but at least I will have left the opinion up to you.

8) So we saw from his email, which wasn’t a surprise from his original email, that we didn’t want to waste time and energy having a personal chat with him. We also didn’t want him on the brand new forum, which as a private, free forum was our prerogative.

9) So I sent him an email telling him that we would refund the chat money because we didn’t want to talk to him more and that he was the first person banned from the forum, which was true.

I think we only actually banned… 2.5 people ever. I say 2.5 because we officially banned 2 people from ever entering the original site, and were close to banning another, but he quit before we could fire him, so to speak.

Was I especially nice in this email reply? No. I wasn’t trying to be. I wanted to really let him know why we didn’t want to deal with him anymore, and frankly he was a buttmunch. Again, you can go look at the thread if you want to verify his buttmunch-itude.

10) WE REFUNDED HIS VIDEO CHAT.

Again, like I said in point 5… No… 4, we don’t give out refunds for typings. We had fulfilled that part of the deal, so we kept our $15 dollars (I know, huge quantities of money being exchanged ), but refunded him the $10 for the video chat we didn’t give him. He was our first refund; we had to figure out how to do it on the website.

11) I think he probably replied again, angrily, but I was super done with it.

12) Shortly after (we launched Phase 2 on September 15 and he wasn’t in the first several batches of applications, so he probably rage posted pretty quickly), he started that thread.

Apparently his reading comprehension was limited enough that he thought paying for a video chat was paying for Phase 2…I guess… Even though you would have to read the Phase 2 announcement page from the time to even apply… idk. I’ll give him the limited benefit of the doubt that he was more stupid than flat-out lying… Stupid isn’t a nice word, it implies mental limitations and implies that if other people missed information, I think they’re stupid too, which I don’t. “Making the decision to be willfully idiotic” is a much more fitting term. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he was being willfully idiotic, rather than flat-out lying.

13) I thankfully haven’t heard from him since and hope he finds happiness despite his buttmunchiness. Totally a word.

Anyway, you can have any opinion you want about my choices in responding to him, but since he had no purchase that wasn’t either fulfilled or refunded, he has zero claim to a scam. Although, you know, I’m really rolling in his fifteen bucks. *Evil laugh*

Person 2

The other person who I know wrote on the “scam” thread, got upset in the very earliest days of the forum. It was a lot of drama in a short period of time that happened… two years ago today! [At time of writing, which was the middle of September.] Holy crap, I didn’t know that when I started writing. Happy anniversary to drama .

There was a lot of drama in those early days of the forum as we were attempting to establish an atmosphere different than so many forums and so much of the internet. This other person wasn’t the only one involved at the time, but since other people didn’t feel the need to run my name through the mud, I don’t feel the need to address their personal issues with aLBoP.

This woman was INFP and I’m referring to her by her type since I have no intention to be petty enough to share her name. That doesn’t mean I think all INFPs are that way *obviously,* it’s just easier than saying “woman” on repeat, because that’s weird.

But, as I’m sure she talked about on the thread in question, she thought we were harsh and mean on our forum in a way that she deemed “never called for.” She was referring to one particular forum post of mine. Here’s what happened, from my perspective:

If you are unfamiliar with cognitive typing, you will need to know that ESTPs like to poke for reactions. It’s how they interact with the world, which is a good thing. And because motives and character judgment is their primary Type of Information, it really really matters to them what people are really like. They hate fakeness, perhaps most of all the EPs, and attempt to cut through the crap of pretension (wow I had no idea that was spelled with an s instead of a t, interesting), or fake nicety, by catching people off guard and seeing how they react. Reactions are an EP’s bread and butter, after all.

So since very early aLBoP, there was this ESTP. Great way to start a story lol. And he had been all over the internet and in real life, and had seen people being crappy on repeat, so he was used to that as the norm rather than the exception. We can all relate with that.

So when he found aLBoP he immediately began his routine “poking for legitimacy” like a 19th century miner biting a gold coin lol. But because of the crappy he had experienced, he was used to having to poke oftenly and fairly hard to see what was really inside someone.

But when he first began poking at aLBoP, I didn’t know this backstory. I just saw that the same guy was commenting on *every* new post, and giving me pokie lip on each one lol. He would comment things on each post, trying to get a reaction, commenting about how I said this or that, or on what he’d read elsewhere that disagreed. And at first I was just like “>:( leave me aloooone! If you don’t like the posts, why are you here??”

But that was the thing, he kept staying around. I didn’t get it. I felt like his comments meant he didn’t like the posts, so why didn’t he just move on? And the comments were getting more positive over time, usually just with something pokie at the end or something. And he ordered a typing from us and I was like “What??? Well, I guess he does trust us some… Huh…” That was before Facial Typing, but when I realized his type it just made all the sense. (I have obviously since seen his face and it was spot on what we predicted, for the record. Take that people who try and pretend this isn’t a science . When it can accurately predict what people will look like before we see their faces.) And he had really been open about himself in his typing emails (of which there were several, telling us about himself, which is so adorably ESTP lol <3), and I was already liking him a lot more already. And then he posted pokie comments on the Spartan, being skeptical and I’d feel grumpy about him again, but as much as I wasn’t a fan of the way he was poking, feeling like “how many times are you going to have to poke me before you’ll believe I’m legit? :P”, I did still really like him and care about him, and was starting to appreciate his bold, frank, poking sense of humor.

But this back and forth dance of poking and a surprising growing loyalty we saw from him about aLBoP, was at an interesting place right before we launched Phase 2. I remember he had left a really sweet comment on SS:P2 (which isn’t there anymore because we moved, remember?) and I was feeling really supported and happy about him. And yet because of this history, and the fact that I was aware the poking was still strong with him, lol, Justin and I were nervous about him as we came up to launching Phase 2. I remember three individuals that we were worried about with it and this ESTP was one of them. But like I said, we liked him too, so Justin and I had high hopes about the whole situation as we launched.

Now, if you haven’t read what is now the Phase 2 Intro, and don’t know about what kind of content we have over there, it’s not only more in depth than what we have here on Phase 1, it’s about understanding yourself in a very core way, even deeper inside than cognition even, which is why we didn’t want it to be drive-by internet bait. It’s not secret, but we think it’s pretty special, and we wanted to foster an environment of reading-comprehension and self-examination, for this information that is intended to help individuals grow, for people who want to do that. Like I said, it’s pretty special to us, and we’ve had immensely special experiences seeing it work in the lives of others as well as ourselves <3.

But because of the crap he’d experienced, and because most of the time Motives aren’t treated as a valid Type of Information, even after all the times he’d poked us, this ESTP felt very wary as he came onto Phase 2 and began reading the new information. It was all new stuff and lifted the ceiling on his own potential, making him worried he was going to be judged unfairly for things he didn’t know yet (I hope that’s a fair assessment of his feelings at the time). And so he sort of acted out about it. From what he said later, he skimmed the Intro, feeling grumpy about it from the very beginning of the information, and went to the fresh new forum even more wary than he had started.

He read the forum rules, which we had written purposely open-ended, talking about attitudes that weren’t acceptable on the aLBoP forum, and referenced content from the Intro in showing how those attitudes would be identified. Having been treated unfairly other places for doing the “wrong” action (his last step and mine), and I think feeling grumpy about the new information being referenced again, like he was expected to know everything right away or, like I said, be judged unfairly, our ESTP’s first forum post was a criticism of the forum rules, saying they were too open ended and wouldn’t work. I remember in one of his posts in this conversation, he said that other forums’ rules were better and said it would be better to be like every other forum, which was the opposite of what we were aiming for.

Justin replied very nicely to him, explaining that he wasn’t expected to know everything yet, and to just relax and settle in, trying to encourage him to get comfortable and let us worry about whether or not we could reasonably make it better than other forums.

(I swear, I don’t know why people consistently treat Justin like he’s going to be the intense, harsh one. 9 times out of 10 *I* play bad cop, not him. Which people don’t expect from me because I’m adorable and smiley, lol, and the unsuspected nature of it works in my favor.)

But our ESTP (running out of ways to say that) was still feeling upset from the Intro, and didn’t want to be soothed about the topic, still arguing about it being unfair. I think some others might have talked too at that point? Don’t remember. But it was a particular “won’t let this go” thing iirc.

And we were working so hard on the atmosphere of this baby forum. Justin and I were getting about 2 hrs of sleep a night, trying to help the forum feel like a safe place where people could actually talk about things, and this was the last thing it needed. And I was so done with this ESTP’s mood and attitude at that moment. He was being so stubborn (which I lovingly joke ST stands for sometimes, lol <3) and obstinate, and I decided “no more!”

I sat down and wrote a reply post that was intended to smack him upside the head, hard, and say “Stop it! I think you can be better than this! Are you going to prove me wrong?!” It was an intense post, not gonna lie. I actually remember very little about it besides my calculated fury and the fact that I quoted XKCD. And I said he wasn’t allowed to say “I didn’t do any specific actions wrong, you can’t call me on my bad attitude and intentions.” Oh and I may have said he was acting like a “dick” at some point … Yeah, apologies, that is a phrase I use, not actually on Phase 1 before this point. It’s just so concise and jerk is just not strong enough sometimes!! Is it bad that it’s a little bit funny looking back at how intense I got, since it’s been very resolved on that front since? Like I’m kind of embarrassed that I am that intense of a person. You know, as if someone took a picture of my battle face and I’m looking back at it now like “That’s what I look like angry, huh?”

Which isn’t to say that I rage posted. I don’t rage post. Case in point, how the thread that sparked this whole post is now over two years old, and I began writing this post over a month ago. I am meticulous and thorough and attempt to predict the reactions my words and choices will evoke, as is my one-true-mental-love as an ENTP.

I stayed up all night writing that post, trying to imagine how he would reply to different parts and trying not to let him wiggle out of it, and yet wanting to give him the opportunity to do better if he wanted to.

I am a very passionate person, I’ll give you that for sure. People and things mean more to me than I can ever say, often against my will. But that means while I get really truly incensed about plenty of topics, I will never write an angry message to someone if I have no hope of getting through to them. Like this post for example; there’s a reason it isn’t addressed to the people over on that thread. I have hopes of actually communicating with very many of *you,* however I won’t try and communicate with them. I don’t have any hope that that would do squat.

Ask Justin’s brother, also ETP, sometime about the intense face-slap email I sent him, he’s definitely never forgotten it. But I would never have sent it if I didn’t respect him and his ability to apply things and desire to grow. (He replied epically to it, btw.) If I ever get truly angry with you, and let you know it, know that I respect you enough to believe it’ll make a difference to address the issue with you.

ETPs need to be poked as much as poke (saying that is going to get me into trouble with people lovingly poking me, heh), and I wanted to poke this ESTP hard enough to get a reaction of change, and I poked as hard as I felt he personally needed, based on knowing him personally and knowing his cognition.

But the INFP woman in question immediately replied informing us that you never ever ever (need a bunch more evers) speak to someone that way! She said we were mean and rash and harsh and she would have no part in it! And for the record, she was definitely not the only one concerned.

The post I wrote *was* in fact harsh, but it was not a knee-jerk reaction. It was a calculated move decided upon, based on love for the person I was talking to, and the hope that snapping him out of the way he was acting would induce him to be *more*, which I hoped he could be.

And if you consider “lovingly harsh” to be an oxymoron—if you believe that there could never be a situation where harshness would be the appropriate reaction in order to get through to someone you care about—then this may not be the place for you, especially the later Phases of aLBoP. aLBoP is a place for adults to come of age, and attitudes that say “you always deal with people this way or that way” are, frankly, childish and therefore wouldn’t fit in with the atmosphere of aLBoP’s later Phases.

We deal with people on a case by case basis, not by one-size-fits-all rules, and this was actually what I thought would be most effective. And to be honest, it worked. He immediately stopped in his tracks and said “I’m sorry, what can I do differently?” Honestly, his reaction was much more epic and adult than I expected it to be, but I did anticipate that the best way to handle an ESTP acting that way, was to shock him to get his attention, and stop him in his tracks.

But this INFP woman didn’t care whether or not it worked. She was all too pleased to be indignant. She told the forum (if I remember correctly) that she was leaving, and also emailed to chastise us again, and to tell us she was leaving. We emailed her a short but polite “sorry you feel that way” email, but tbh were pretty pleased to see her go. (Now when I say “polite,” I actually mean polite. I don’t consider my harsh post in question to be polite, for example, but it wasn’t intended to be polite.)

She was actually one that we *did* have a video chat with before we even launched Phase 2 (you guys see why I didn’t want to carry them in the store anymore?), after we had typed her. And while we made it very pleasant and answered all the questions she had, to her stated satisfaction, Justin and I both could tell there was something about aLBoP that made her very uncomfortable. He and I discussed afterward, “that was good… right?” “yeah, but we had to make it good.” I could go into the ins and outs of what made her uncomfortable, things having to do with her Type Angst, blah blah blah, but that just seems petty at this point. Interestingly, I talked about her in What if I’m not the Type I Thought I Was and referred to her as a “cool INFP.”

I was being nice.

I will say, disappointingly, that there has definitely been an FP trend among the people who have been the least cool about aLBoP. I mean, I know soooo many cool FPs, and I suspect we get more of them, quantity-wise, since their Type Specs are all about the meaning that they can get out of Individuals and Situations <3 and I think and hope that aLBoP is right down that alley. But when an unhealthy FP feels like we’re a threat to their own personal meaning, watch out! We’ve especially had a lot of ESFP and ENFP guys (more often guys than girls, interestingly) who have approached us as “nice guys” with obvious warning signs, that when they ended up showing their true colors were anything but nice. I won’t go into tales of the one who wouldn’t stop emailing me in all-caps not-so-nice words, or the one who spammed comments about how ENTPs didn’t have feelings. I don’t make character judgments flippantly, especially negative ones. And unfortunately, my spotting of warning signs has proved depressingly accurate, as individuals have demonstrated with later actions.

But in a twist of couldn’t-get-more-ironic, the reason I decided to write this post was because Justin was chatting with the very ESTP she had said I was abominably too hard on. He’s been one of our biggest supporters ever since, both in having our backs with emotional support and sharing aLBoP, and he’s been ridiculously generous on Patreon (I hope it’s okay to share that, I never know what is couth when it comes to talking about money and donations ).

Lol, when he found out about people discussing him on that thread he was like “Hey, they’re talking about me! That’s pretty cool.” ROFL, could he *be* any more ESTP?! Idec, I love you, you are seriously amazing and I can learn a lot from how you let stuff roll off of you!! <3

But he had a friend whom he’d been telling about aLBoP, and the friend saw the “scam” link and got wary, so I felt like it was finally time to address this. I have better things to do than tell people on the internet that they’re wrong, but when it’s deterring other people who are looking for aLBoP, then that’s something I need to try and fix.

*Whew* sorry this has been so long!

But I don’t want you guys to worry that this has delayed posting at all. The only major posts this year have been The Dragon, like I said, and the Four Types of Love, both of which I am ridiculously proud of, although I have been worried sick about not posting more, especially since you guys have earned it with Patreon all year; don’t think I’ve forgotten it!!

But the reasons we have been gone so much are somewhat other aspects of aLBoP, working on later “Phase” stuff, especially training people who want to help us help all of you guys more, but also working on our own personal situation as well.

In June I was offered a part-time job by an INTJ friend of mine that I really respect, at his business, and I felt like it was the perfect time. (For the record, he doesn’t know I’ve typed him shhh ) And while I’m really enjoying it and I think it’s benefitting aLBoP, I felt fairly overwhelmed and anxious the first few weeks, so that took a lot of my attention at first. But really, there’s been plenty of other aspects going on with us working things out to establish ourselves for the long haul.

Which, for the record, the part-time job is in financial planning, so I had to have a background check for it, which I passed, so I guess the FBI doesn’t believe I’m a danger to people’s money if that helps with the whole “scam” thing lol… Unless that’s a ruse and they’re watching me *right now.* O_O Considering that I’m writing this from the bathtub, that would be super pervy.

However, apparently I have very little fingerprints left, I guess from my skin condition, so I am considering a life of crime. If anyone has any suggestions, please leave them in the comments below.

Anyway, I have two short Super Simple posts almost done, working on a new format for shorter posts and faster posting, so I hope to get those out to you guys ASAP. I will make up for all the months I’ve missed, I swear!! Thank you guys for your patience as always. And for your trust of us as a source. I can’t tell you how much it means to me those times when people are impugning our character (which thankfully seems to be happening less and less these days), to know you beloved readers are out there; knowing that you know us, love us and have our backs. I couldn’t ask for a better audience or better friends. <3

My hope in clearing this up is to just soothe people’s worries and hopefully overcome misleading search results so that new people can find aLBoP every day, and hopefully feel like who they are and the way they think naturally is worthwhile and wanted.

Much love, <3 Calise

The post aLBoP a Scam? Drama, Scandal, Ooh Ahh! appeared first on A Little Bit of Personality.

from aLBoP a Scam? Drama, Scandal, Ooh Ahh!

#Miscellaneous #News #Patreon #Comment Response #Facial Typing #Personalized Typing #Phase 2 #Q&A #Ty

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