2023 BEST
+ ALBUM
Bottoms - Charli XCX. I don't know if a movie's score counts as an album, but this is the easy winner.
Fantasy - M83. I still can't get over Oceans Niagara and the music video. Beyond adventure, indeed.
The Whaler - Home is Where.
Javelin - Sufjan Stevens.
+ SONG
Jeff Rosenstock - LIKED U BETTER.
Afroman - Will You Help Me Repair My Door. The song is generally mid, but the background story behind it makes it amazing.
+ RECORD / COVER
I listened to too many mixes and sets without paying attention to records this year. I've got nothing.
+ SET/MIX/SHOW
Black Country, New Road - Live at Bush Hall. CLASS OF 81', LISTEN TO YOUR PROM KING!!! FUCK THE DEAN!!!
Chlär | Boiler Room x Glitch Festival 2023. This dude is changing techno in a big way. Loops loops loops lopps lopsodfpsopsofpsoo spooop loops.
LDS - HATE Podcast 340.
Pretty Pink - Deep Woods Radio. Girl was on point all year. There's probably better deep trance/house than this, but I'm too lazy to find it and this easily made me happy.
+ MOVIE
Talk to Me. Nothing comes close. This movie is perfection. Foreshadowing, details, subtely, so many layers, so much to think about. It's like Starship Troopers in that it's only a a dumb action / scary movie on first glance, but then you realize all the hidden meaning to it there in every scene.
Bottoms.
Nimona.
Killers of the Flower Moon.
Godzilla Minus One.
Stuff I loved, but only got to in 2023: Okja, The Wailing, Shiva Baby.
Long list piling up I haven't got to yet: Holdovers, Ninja Turtles, Smoking Causes Coughing, She Came to Be, 65, Infinity Pool, Past Lives, Suzume, Mad God, Saltburn, The Boy and the Heron, Argentina 1985, Close, Stars End, Hundreds of Beavers, Joyland, Fabelmans, Challengers.
+ TV SHOW
Vox Machina s2. Easy winner. Nothing else comes close. This is so good. They could and should just push s1 and s2 together seamlessly and release it all as a movie.
Foundation s1. This whole thing is gorgeously shot. Whoever did the storyboard / director of photography is brilliant.
Station Eleven
The Mole
Traitors AUS
SWARM. Before watching I wish someone would have told me the soft spoiler that she's a confused lesbian and the orphaned sister of her friend. It would have helped me understand/get past what were mistakenly viewed as gross and cringe scenes.
Last of US
Snake in the Grass
Y The Last Man. I liked it better than the books simply because the sister's story arc is more believeable and enjoyable. Really sad s2 isn't going to be a thing.
+ VIDEO GAME
Baldur's Gate 3. It's more Div Sin 5e than BG3, but still a phenomenal game. Organizing things by: action, bonus action, and free action has been a wild ephiphany and game changer for me at D&D night.
Dead by Daylight. Another year, another me. No change there. Nicolas Cage, Xenomorph, Ripley, Jonsie, Chucky, the return of Stranger Things… This game just keeps winning. I got burned out in late 2023 and haven't really touched it much since Summer, but this is easily one of the greatest games ever made for me.
WOW Season of Discovery. Injecting WOTLK gameplay systems into Classic? It's so simple and yet so fun.
Going Medieval. As they continue to develop this it's just going to get better and better and better.
+ BOOK
Y The Last Man. Poured through these. Politically… meh. I still liked them.
Book 12 WOT. I also started reading Red Rising becuase I wanted something easy, but that was a mistake because it's too teenage for even me. I also think for 2024 I'm going to switch to standalones and not big 3+ epics because it seriously took me like 2 years to get through WOT and I'm not sure it was worth it.
+ PERSON
Anyone, anywhere who stood out and spoke out against the IOF's genocide in Gaza.
+ FOOD
Butter chicken. Please help me stop eating so much butter chicken I have spent a small fortune at my local indian restaurant buying and eating butter chicken.
+ TRIP
The camping trips this year were fun af, stoked for this upcoming Spring and Summer. Started to get antsy late Summer and started regularly taking daytrips to mid/downtown almost every weekend as well.
+ MOMENT
What a year for US labor. UPS, SAG/WGA, UAW, etc. Syndicalists keep winning.
+ BIGGEST LET DOWN
Fetterman. What an absolute fucking loser. Not "loser" as an insult, but loser as in he lost. His leftist base got him into power, and yet he immediately betrayed them because he's afraid of the DNC+AIPAC and wants to keep his job 5.5 years from now. BITCH YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. YOUR BASE NOW HATES YOU. AIPAC WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU. THE DNC WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU. YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL FOR GENOCIDE AND GOT CORN CHIPS FOR IT. I absolutely mean it when I say I hope he kills himself.
WOT s2. What the fuck did I even watch what the fuck was that? I know and truly understand adaptation means it can't follow the story, but what was this???? Why did badass women become a bunch of weak fragile pathetic pissy dumbshits who can't do shit????? Fuck this show.
Theme of the year: I don't have a theme. Personally, I had a pretty good year. US Labor had a very, very good year. CPI inflation, Ukraine, and Gaza were fucking horrible. 2023 was strange and mostly terrible.
Goals for 2024: Don't get stuck in a rut. Learn/perfect how to make various indian and thai dishes. Fix my pinball machine. Get 100k+ in DigDug.
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Come Down to the Black Sea
Summary: The sea seems to call to you, but it’s not the tumultuous clash of the waves you should fear. Something lurks deep beneath the black waters, something sinister with a piqued interest and ill intent.
Rating: Teen, unless I chose to post the later chapters. Then things get all dirty and stuff.
Warnings: Siren!Shigaraki. So, there’s that. Foul language, as always. Slight struggle.
Hello, please take my garbage. This was originally a discord exclusive ficlet that ended up too fucking long. I meant to post it a while back but got distracted. I’ve read over it and I hate it a lot more than I did originally, more than I can really convey, but I feel bad for not posting anything story related for a while and maybe some folks will enjoy this. I promise I edited, I swear. Never thought I’d write something like this. Ever. and by ‘like this’, I mean no filth less than 500 words in. Either way, here it is.
“What would an ocean be without a monster lurking in the dark? It would be like sleep without dreams.”
The sea is as much a constant to you as the gentle breeze that blankets your little port town. Every action you take daily in some small way reminds you that not so far away, the unforgiving tides are lapping hungrily at the shore and the restless ocean waters stir miles from the coast. Every breath you take is somewhat tinged with the briny smell of sea salt and slight sulfur. Seafood stalls and restaurants dot the coastal region, making up a large portion of the diets and employ of the folks who make their homes here.
Yet, for as big of a part of their lives as it is, there is so little known about it.
The ocean’s mysteries are as vast as her expanse and as deep as the trenches that lurk within her depths.
Children are raised on cautionary tales, made acutely aware of the ever-present dangers of life near the open water. Rip currents and drowning, sailors lost at sea and boats that never make it to harbor. Hostile creatures that make their nests within the darkened deep beyond the pale of human experience. These things are often as mysterious as they are tragic and leave behind loved ones mourning not only the loss of lives, but the answers they’ll never have.
Sometimes, you can’t help but wonder if your kind has gotten just a bit too comfortable near the seaside.
You’re not the only one that thinks so.
It’s not by any stretch of the imagination to consider humans a loud and overwhelming presence. They dominate any space they come across, often having little to no regard for any other living creature and imposing their will on anything unfortunate enough to cross their path. Once tranquil steads are trampled, native creatures baited and hunted, and soon there’s no semblance of the beauty that once existed. Humanity leaves behind an impossibly large footprint that destroys whatever is caught beneath its crushing boot.
The ocean is no exception.
Sailors, whalers, and fishermen blot the waters, disrupting the natural cycles of the creatures that make their homes beneath them. Garbage, rot, and other various forms of filth are callously dumped and left to drift. Human hubris has seen the death of the coral reefs, the extinction of entire species, and even radiation left to leak and poison everything in its path.
The only place safe from the fecund shadow of destruction that looms wherever humans may roam are places far too treacherous to facilitate their survival.
You’ve come to believe that maybe beings that are forced to breed in that darkness grow to harbor a grudge against that which pushed them there.
Your little seaport city has always been relatively calm. It attracts enough tourists to keep it economically stable, but not so many as to make it a cultural hub. The signature beaches are only mildly clogged with tourist trap giftshops, and while the sands are busy, there’s not so much foot traffic as to make it unpleasant to visit.
Things have run relatively smoothly for your hometown, at least for the majority of your life. There’s the one-off oddity every now and again, but for the most part, it’s a fine place to live. The native folk are kind enough, and there’s decent opportunity for growth. Still, life always left something to be desired; some greater need that tugs at you and calls you toward the ocean.
Watching the fishing vessels come to and from the bay can be calming. What started as a time wasting hobby as a child has turned into a nightly practice. The marine layer makes it difficult to see early mornings, and the incessant chatter of tourists and their screeching younglings make it difficult to think during the daylight hours. It didn’t take long before the boats mattered little, and it was the time alone you valued. You’d curl up in the still-warm sand, gazing out into the horizon and watching the moon rise high above the waves, listening to the sound of the ocean and losing yourself in its subtle song.
Even as adulthood inevitably sought you out, you found time for your solitary moments that existed between no one but you and the horizon.
It brought you a sense of peace. No matter how much time passed, a part of you stayed anchored to the beach.
Yet, nothing stays peaceful forever, especially near the rocky shoreline.
It started with a missing boat.
It was the talk of the town. A small schooner had gone missing just off the coast and never returned. A band of brothers had set out for a weekend voyage and by Tuesday, no word of them had returned to shore. It had made the local news, pictures of the men aboard flashed across the screen, all smiling faces and sunburned skin. They were experienced sailors, raised on the waves and having spent more time in a boat than they did on land.
Surely, they were fine. Everyone hoped for the best.
At least until pieces of the boat washed ashore a week later, no sign of brothers anywhere.
That incident was the first of many.
Early morning swimmers began to disappear without a trace, divers vanishing without warning. More and more boats failed to make it to harbor despite calm conditions, and soon some people rejected the water all together. The missing persons board was filled with more macabre grinning faces that served as reminders than ever before, and inevitably, people became paranoid.
Superstition gained favor over logic, and tales spread of a malevolent being plaguing the coast began to spread. Children were warned against playing in the tides and tourists begin to shy away from the port. Locals and witnesses talk amongst each other, claiming to see a pair of vicious, glowing red eyes from deep within the water after dark.
Those who denied the possibility shunned those who fell into the myth, claiming that it was clearly boat lights and that folks were too finicky. There was no mysterious sea monster, only misfortune and the loose lips of idle handed fools.
Still, that didn’t account for the sudden surge in disappearances nor did it explain why no remains were ever found.
The mysteries intrigued you, but you worry little for the danger. While you weren’t entirely sure what to think, you never stepped far into the ocean on your nightly visits, mostly only skirting around the water’s edges and observing. Superstition be damned, this was the one place you felt a sense of utter calm and peace. You’re not disturbing the sea or her inhabitants; only sitting by her and admiring her beauty.
You mind your business along the beach and you think that keeps you safe, but that doesn’t spare you his wrath.
A lonely night walker, you loiter along the sands and drag your feet through the wetness. You never let the water flood past your ankles, opting to squish the damp muck beneath your toes instead. He watches you, just out of his reach and still so close. Rage simmers in his chest and his fingers twitch, longing to rip you apart, feel your heartbeat as it slows and ceases beneath his fingertips. He doesn’t dare try his luck against the surface, but you infuriate him.
Time and time again, he’s tried to lure you out.
You never fall for it, though he can tell by the way your eyes linger on the ocean a tad too long that you're curious. If he cared enough to place it, he'd say you look sad, maybe a little forlorn. After all, who comes to a deserted beach alone at night that isn't?
Always the same section of sand, always the same look on your face. You kick at the particles stuck to your grimy feet like it'll sooth whatever repressed emotion you're stewing in, and he can't help but scoff.
Humans are completely ridiculous.
Still, he watches, determined to see you inhale deep the waters around you while what little light you have left in your eyes leaves, same as the rest of your kind that has fallen prey to his deadly actions.
Night after night he waits, and night after night you resist. You don't fall for his tricks, even the ones that beguile the seasoned sailors. It's curious, he'll admit. No matter how longingly you look at the ocean like it could offer you something you need desperately, you never give into the temptation to wade just a little deeper, just take a few fucking steps forward. Perhaps you come from a sea fairing family who had elders that warned against the seduction of the low night tides, or maybe your primal human brain still holds an inkling as to what dwells deep beneath your world, but either way, it agitates him more than he'd like.
He's always had a wanderlust and never sticks around the same sections for long, but the fact that you've been evading the watery grave he dug just for you grates at him. He finds himself waiting moonrise after moonrise to see your form emerge, wracking his brain for ways to trick your feeble human mind into his waters. He's better than you, in every sense of the word. This shouldn't be this difficult.
If he didn't know better, he would say that you know. You never quite look directly at him, but your head is always turned in his direction, as if you have some sixth sense of his location. He doesn't like it. Even though you're the one in the sights of a predator, it makes him feel like a goldfish trapped in a tank. You piss him off.
But eventually, one night, his patience finally pays off.
Warily, you perch yourself on some rocks that stray into the ocean. You don't even dip your feet in, which, while not ideal, would have been enough for him to work with. Instead, you sit with your arms crossed over your knees, same distant grimace on your face that you sport every night. You seem hypnotized by the reflection of the moon on his waters, hardly blinking or even really breathing except for the occasional despondent sigh.
The thing that stirs you from your daze is a flash of silver just under the water beneath where you're sitting. At first you think it's a fish, since it's not uncommon to see them around when all the beachgoers retreat for the day, but the eerie luminescent glow is unlike any fish you've ever seen before in a life almost wholly occupied by the sea. You watch intently for a moment, hoping to see it again, but give up when all that greets you is the deep, murky blue of sunsetted waters.
Still, once you pull your eyes from the gently splashing waves, it catches your attention once more. You're curious if you're just seeing strange broken reflections of the moon, but that wouldn't explain why once you offer it your attention, it disappears.
You keep your eyes down and stare long into the water, and eventually it appears again. Long and stringy, it’s definitely unlike any fish fin you've ever seen. It's incandescent almost, reflecting the silvery light of the moon with an oddly hypnotizing pearlescent glow. You’ll admit, it’s strange, but what alarms you the most are the two crimson eyes staring up at you from beneath the tangle of silvered webbing.
You almost recoil, but you're anchored in place by some hybrid mix of fear and curiosity. The urge to scream becomes paralyzed somewhere deep in your throat when a thin, gangly arm reaches up and grasps at the craggy surface of the rock before your feet. It looks… human... or at least it would, if it wasn't for the slight iridescent sheen of the skin- if you look closely, you can almost make out what appears to be scales and a thin fin that runs the expanse of the forearm. Thick, slimy webbing coats the inside of each finger, becoming more apparent as long claws stretch and crawl toward your retracted legs.
Those maliciously alluring eyes draw closer and closer to the surface and soon enough, you can make out what appears to be a face somewhere just under the waves staring right back up you.
Another hand joins the one currently clinging to the rock and the figure hoists itself up partway from the water, and soon you're face to face with...
Well, you can't really say what.
You were right, it's human. He's human. At least… half human?
Drenched white hair slicks back just below his shoulders and clings to the sides of his face, beadlets of water sliding down from the wintery strands down to what appears to be a pair of gills that encircle the rounds of his neck. There's something akin to black fins parting the slicked hair where his ears should be, but even that's not enough to pull your attention from the perverse scarlet eyes burning into yours from behind the severely salt-chapped flesh of his face.
Unnatural hue aside, they’re utterly petrifying, and while something deep in your body tells you that you should run, you can't bring yourself to move from the spot.
He pulls himself up a bit, lithe torso exposed as he lazily rests his head on his finned forearms by your feet. His body language is completely contradicted by the obvious hate in his expression, which only makes it even more difficult for your brain to try and decide what in the fuck you're supposed to do in this situation.
What the hell is he?
You try to ask, but the shock of seemingly stumbling upon a possibly malevolent supernatural creature in the dead of night has caused a severe regression in your speech capabilities. The only thing your mouth is capable of producing is a series of incoherent babbles and sounds, hands shaking as your resist the urge to touch him to see if he's real or if you've been slipped some form of extremely powerful hallucinogen.
He studies you briefly through pale lashes and you could swear you see him roll his eyes before a prolonged blink.
I'm sorry, is this not the expected result? He's looking at you like you're the weird one in this scenario?
Regardless, he lets you stare at him and allows your feeble human brain to come to terms with what you're seeing. Amazing, how quickly your kind forgets you don't exist alone. He draws the line, however, when you finally find the ability to go to poke his fins. He swats you away with an unnaturally quick movement from his slippery, wet hand and you stare at the water spots he leaves behind like it's the strangest shit you've ever seen.
"Are you often so rude as to touch strangers, human?"
You skitter back on your ass, eyes wide and disbelieving even as the truth stares you back with a mocking expression. His voice is raspy and graveled, cracking from what you assume is disuse. It takes you a moment to process his words, despite being absolutely certain that you’ve heard them.
"Holy fuck, you're real!"
"Just grasping that, are we?"
"What the fuck are you?"
His face contorts and his lips lift in a snarl, revealing the extremely sharp looking fangs on either side of his mouth. Okay, so that might've been extremely rude. He's obviously sentient, so maybe saying something so brash and offensive wasn't really the way to go.
"Sorry, I mean -fuck - I've just never, uh-" You clear your throat awkwardly, still trying to decide whether or not to bolt. He watches you through tautly narrowed lids, and you get the feeling you should tread very carefully. Whatever emotion it is you see in his face, it certainly isn't patience.
"Are you a..." What would you call him? A mermaid? A fish-man? A sea spirit? It doesn't quite matter, since he doesn't give you time to finish your line of thought.
"Your people have no word for what I am." He speaks the words almost bitterly. "But just because your kind doesn’t acknowledge me doesn't mean I don't exist."
You're not entirely sure if you should apologize on behalf of the human race or admit yourself into a psych ward.
"What, uh, what should I call you... Um, sir?" Smooth. But you're not really sure what to say here. What exactly are proper honorifics when it comes to situations like this?
"My name," He sighs again, as if it's some great chore to introduce himself. "Is Shigaraki."
"Okay, Shigaraki," You say his name, trying to get the hang of it as it rolls off your tongue. "It's nice to meet you- I think?"
He pays your attempt at polite conversation no mind at all.
"What are you doing here, human?"
Okay, he's curt and to the point. Good to know. He seems to have very little consideration for your bewilderment, despite being the one that demanded your attention in the first place, which isn’t necessarily a good thing when you don’t really know how to answer his question between the confusion and the sheer oddity. To be frank, you can’t muster much of a response.
"Just... sitting here?"
"No, I mean what are you doing? Every single night, you come here, you look at the sea for hours. Why?"
His pointed tone demands an answer, seeming irate or even provoked by your harmless nightly activity.
"I don't know." For some reason, the question frustrates you as well, mainly because you really don't know. The ocean soothes you, even if you're just spectating it. It's too busy during the day, packed with tourists and teenagers yelling and bounding around in the sand, and while you're happy they're having a good time and all, the voices are impossible to drown out. Even the sea seems to protest their presence, the tide becoming higher and higher and more rambunctious until it almost forces the invaders out. More than once, folks have almost drowned for being too stubborn and refusing to cut their beach day short despite the obvious danger.
It seems to calm itself at night, waves gently washing ashore instead of slapping angrily at the feet of anyone treading the sand as if it's trying to coax them deeper only to pull them under.
"You don't know?" It seems more like a statement than a question, and it's an unimpressed statement at that.
"Yeah. I don't really know. I just like being here, I suppose." You shrug, letting your arms fall limp at your sides. It could be the shock, but somehow, you’re actually managing to carry on the conversation with him. "Is there something wrong with that?"
Something flashes in his eyes, and it sends a shiver down your spine. Once again his body language drastically contradicts the vibe you're getting from him. He leans back casually in the water, and just beneath the edge, you see something slick and shiny flutter where you're certain his legs should be. "I guess not. But if you like it here so much, why don't you ever come in?"
"I-I don't know... The water is dangerous at night..."
“Is ‘I don’t know’ all you know how to say?” He gives you a derisive smile, mocking your tone while swimming graceful circles back and forth in front of the rock with an inhuman grace that sets you on edge. "Don't tell me you're scared, little human."
"I'm not scared, I'm just not stupid."
He runs his tongue over his fangs and something akin to a smile crosses his features. "Sure you're not. A little girl like you could never be afraid of a little water."
He's taunting you and you know it, but the way his eyes stay locked with yours as he swims around and around and around is making you feel a little dizzy...
"I'm not afraid-"
"Come in then."
He dips into the water and disappears, and despite knowing better, you find yourself leaning over the rock to see where he's gone. He's waiting for you just under the waves. You can see the fluid flap of an ebony tail glimmering in the moonlight, silver hair haloed around his head. One clawed finger beckons you toward him, and you can feel yourself leaning further and further.
You're willing yourself to draw back, but the closest you can come is ceasing your forward movements. Even as you try, you can't pull your eyes away from his, staring unblinkingly up at you and glowing that foreboding sanguine shade that cuts even through the darkness of the waves.
'Come in, little girl. Show me you're not scared.’
His webbed hand threads up through the rippling surface, ready and waiting for yours.
You can't help it.
You reach.
You feel the slippery surface of his scaley skin interlocking with yours before something in his expression morphs into something wholly ominous and knocks you from your stupor. His magnetic eyes darken, sinister snarl hinting through the smile he’s straining to keep. This isn’t a serene sea creature playfully helping you face your fears; the ill intent is written on his face too prevalently as his mesmeric movements lure you toward the water.
This is a predator, one determined to sink his teeth deep into your neck and steal the life from your still beating heart. You can feel it as his grip begins to tighten on your own palm.
Whatever spell he might have been casting has been broken if only just enough for you to shake yourself free. He's almost fully closed his fingers around yours before you jerk sharply, yanking your hand away. In anticipation of your movements, he thrusts up and out of the water, sharp claws digging hold into the skin of your forearm. You cry out from surprise more so than the pain even though the tips of his pointed talons slice open your skin with little to no resistance.
Fangs bared and enraged, he’s clearly livid now. All facade of relaxation falls away as his tail flaps furiously trying to pull you into the water with him. He's strong, but your will to live is stronger. The layered skin of your knees breaks as it scrapes against the jagged rock, body thrashing and desperately try to release yourself from his unyielding grip
"Let go of me!"
"Get in, you little brat!"
"No!"
Falling backwards and trying to use your weight as leverage, you do your best to kick the creature off. You land a few good hits on his lean chest, but it's not enough to fully dislodge his grip. It takes a well-placed, hard slap to the side of one of his headfins to finally stun him. It was a last-ditch effort, but oddly enough, it works.
He instinctively releases you in favor of cradling his tender, damaged fin. It isn’t long before he realizes his error and comes to his senses, but it gives you just enough time to pull away. He snaps forward several more times in pure, seething rage, fingers clamping around nothing but air in his failed attempt to seize you once more.
Sputtering and hissing, he even crawls partway onto the rock as you're furiously backpedaling away from the water to save yourself, giving you good look at where his hips meet the sleek scales of his pitch-black tail. It’s fascinating, beautiful even, but your body knows better than to slow to give yourself a better look. The split-second flash in your memory will have to suffice, coupled with the sheer and utter terror that will no doubt be permanently ingrained in your memory from this encounter.
His inflamed face and vividly gleaming red eyes that watch you with palpable hate written in his expression are the last thing you see before pushing yourself up on your haunches and sprinting away from the sea as quickly as your little human legs can carry you.
He watches you run, slamming a fist down on the rock in frustration and spitting out curses. He almost had you. He was so fucking close!
Once he manages to calm himself, he allows himself to coax the sore fin on the side of his head. Its thrumming in pain, overly sensitive to the touch. It was like you had known just where to hit him to make it hurt. Yet, as angry as he is, he can't deny that you're interesting.
"You can't escape me, girl. You'll be back."
The sea calls to you, and you can’t resist that call forever. You can’t resist him forever.
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