#WasTakenAnarchy
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Hiiii sweet siren Orpheus! I can't help but wonder if you ever thought of turning your singing into magic. Maybe simple spells powered by your voice, more complex melodies casting greater power?
“Weirdchamp way to start a question,” Orph notes. “But that’s a good idea.”
Theo makes a questioning noise, though it’s muffled by the muffin he’s shoved into his mouth. The two of them are in the main house’s kitchen. Orph had been in the middle of grabbing leftovers– which have passed the grace period and thus are now free for all– and Theo was been passing through.
Their dad enjoying cooking and baking came with many benefits. Some of those benefits came at the cost of having had to suffer through his early attempts at them. In some ways, Perce and Lee had no idea how good they had it.
Orph can still remember how much of a gamble it could be on if meals would be edible, or if they would have to make due with the standby of bland crafted food instead.
At least their dad had never argued that they needed to eat it. Even when he, somehow, didn’t realize just how much of a culinary abomination he had made, he would accept when the four of them said that it was inedible.
“Askers wanted to know if I could put magic in my music," he explains.
Theo’s brow furrows as he chews and swallows. "...So a bard, like the fuckin' class in those tabletop game type deals?"
Oh, huh. That's true; it's more or less the same thing. Before he can agree, Theo adds, "I know bards get around a lot, but if you start making fuckin’ bedroom eyes at the fish–”
Orph’s eyes flash with anger. “That was a joke! I was ten, you asshole!”
Theo grins, way too smug for his younger brother’s taste. “But it’s funny.”
Not even a breath passes before Orph has his crossbow out and aims at his eldest brother. “Fuck you.”
There’s a little yelp of surprise as Theo gets clipped by a slowness arrow. He seems to realized exactly how fucked he is when Orph lunges at him with his dual short swords.
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hello day and his sons! i wanted to ask if your family celebrates any holidays, and what your favorite ones are if you do!
It seems as though this time, the family is eating dinner.
Or, at least, they were trying to eat dinner. Everyone’s expression falls somewhere between murderous and tired.
That is, except for Theo, who doesn’t stop speaking despite hearing the question. He’s got a wide grin, almost taunting. “Really, it’s your own fuckin’ fault that you don’t hide shit you care about! If you don’t fuckin’ want me to hold stuff ransom, don’t piss me off.”
Orph’s eye twitches, and he grips his knife tighter. “You started it, you absolute asshole, you were the one who swapped all my pictures with clown paintings!”
Theo grins even more. “Dunno, sounds like your fuckin’ taste, though?”
Lee grabs a roll off the table and throws one at their hands with a surprising amount of both speed and accuracy. “Stop it,” he says, glaring at his eldest brother with enough heat that it leaves no doubt that he’s been on the receiving end of Theo’s needling.
With no small amount of relief, Day accepts the lifeline of this question. “Christmas, New Year’s, birthdays, April Fool’s day, father’s day, every day that passes where Theo hasn’t managed to get his brothers to revolt against him.”
There’s a loud bark of laughter from the eldest son in question. “‘Cause they know I’d kick their asses!”
Day’s eyebrows shoot up. “I hope you know I’m going to bring this up later, after they wreck you.” He ignores the offended squawk and continues, “My favorite is Christmas. I get to make or find things for everyone, I get a week of none of them pranking each other, and I get to inflict the rest of the server with quote-unquote thoughtful presents. Lucid’s sweater remains my crowning achievement.”
“It’s a migraine given physical form,” Perce says. “I’m still impressed by it. I didn’t realize you could see nausea. I’m almost positive it’s got some kind of admin bullshit done to it–”
“That would be cheating,” Day tells him. He looks more than a little smug. “What’s life without a little challenge? Besides, if it was admin bullshit, he could just undo it. He can’t even get rid of it because it’s too warm and comfy. I know exactly what textures are best for him, and I know he’s more willing to wear it out of spite. Thus, I inflict suffering on more people. A gift that keeps on giving.”
“I really feel like people don’t give him enough credit for being a chaotic bastard,” Dee mutters under his breath. “They forget we learned it from somewhere,” Orph agrees.
Day grins. “You’re all just feral gremlins by nature. Sure, I might have…nurtured a little–” “You kept telling dad jokes and bad puns until we banded together to stab you so you’d stop! That’s not a little nurture,” Atlas argues.
There’s a little hum of disagreement from Perce. “I mean…I didn’t grow up with him, so it’s not just that?”
His eldest brother tells him, flatly, “Perseus, you got fuckin’ Monopoly banned because you decided to keep one-upping how much a fuckin’ bastard you were.”
Perce stares at his eldest brother for a long moment, head tilting to the side like he’s deciding something.
The youngest sighs and scoots his plate closer to himself in what seems like resignation.
“I’m the one who rigged everyone’s bedrooms with motion-activated frog recordings. I also made it so I could shut it off specifically to fuck with Dee.”
The entire table is perfectly still for a single heartbeat.
And then chaos erupts; Dee lunges, Theo withdraws a set of throwing knives, Orph pulls out his crossbow, and Atlas shoots forward with his hands outstretched.
Perce laughs, tossing himself backwards and telling them tauntingly, “Too slow!”
As he nimbly darts away, his older brothers all speed after him.
At the table, Day hums to himself. “...Yeah, I probably brought that on myself. At least it wasn’t Theo this time.”
There’s a gleam in Lee’s eye that he suspects bodes badly for Perce’s health and/or sanity in the future. “You still can’t use the Swords and Shields punitively. I’ll ground you for a month.”
“It would be worth it,” Lee tells him. The gravity in his voice is definitely worrying. Day replies, “Two months, then. Use your power responsibly. It’s a bad precedent to set and one that would upset others. Do you really want to scare new people because there’s a ten year old with an army who uses it for petty revenge?”
His youngest sighs with visible reluctance. “Fineee. I’ll just– poison his food, or something.” “Only if it’s not lethal.”
Lee glares at him and says, outraged, “The others can just stab him!” “A hazard he’s aware of. Do you really want to make your brother afraid of food? And of you?”
The ten year old groans in defeat, wings slumping as he puts his head into his arms. “Buzzkill.” Day reaches over and pats his back. “We both know you’d hate yourself if you hurt others for more than just a short respawn.”
#asked&answered#chronotag#DayDreamer#ChaoticTheseus#EngineerDaedalus#MusicalOrpheus#JewelerAtlas#CleverPerseus#PoisonousAchilles#WasTakenAnarchy#long post#Day's parenting methods are unconventional#in his defense tho he didn't have parents and never really interacted with any decent examples of ones#but also light fratricide/patricide was a good way to hone their skills
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This is a question for the T3, though mostly Day. Have you ever encountered others who normally isn’t part of the Dream SMP but is in other realities? Meaning those who usually belong to other servers but in this one reality are part of the Dream SMP?
Day has, at this point, mostly learned how not to flinch slightly when a question pops into his head.
This is a handy thing to have learned, because it lets him seamlessly make excuses to whoever he might be talking to and exit a conversation. It’s easier to say that he has to start dinner or forgot about taking care of some minor task rather than deal with having people be nosy about whatever he’d been asked.
That’s less the case for questions that dig at his trauma, of course. He’s still working on smothering his tells for those.
Sure, it’s not a super healthy mentality. But he’s also aware that a big chunk of his thought processes are deeply fucked up.
He waits until he’s gotten back home to begin to answer the new question. If Theo is around, he’s not anywhere in earshot.
…Though he’s pretty sure his eldest has been getting slightly better at stealth. It can be hard to judge, sometimes; Theo rarely bothers with being sneaky when he can instead bulldoze his way through whatever was stupid enough to stand in his path.
The flight back had given him time to consider the question. “There’s been a few cases like that,” Day starts with. “The one that comes up the most is someone named Grian. I have no idea why he just seems to show up every so often. If he’s there, we know it’s a more or less peaceful world. Other than that…”
He tries to remember some of the others, though can’t recall anyone else who appears with any sort of frequency in the Dream SMP. Sometimes people who are usually present are missing, but it’s much rarer that the reverse is true.
The question is complicated by what exactly counts as the Dream SMP being an unexpectedly murky issue.
When he, Theo, and Vio get the pull, they don’t always end up in anything Day can definitively say is a server at all. Whatever causes their ender chests to remain static doesn’t seem like it discriminates; the contents have yet to change, no matter how many non-server realities or places that otherwise definitely aren’t the Dream SMP they wind up in.
At this point, all they can do is shrug and call it a weird quirk of the multiverse or executive meddling to make their job marginally easier.
“...I’d count Time, but I try not to potentially insult the entity who controls time and probably reality. We’re still not positive about that, and aren’t willing to stick our nose into their business to find out for sure. None of us are interested in pissing off someone who can unmake everything we know and love.”
Idly, he raps his knuckles against the oak plank wall he’s passing next to. It’s a familiar superstition borne of a bone-deep terror at the idea of angering the deity. “In the event that they can see everything or are otherwise observing, that was meant as respectfully as possible.”
He shudders at the idea of invoking the wrath of a god who he still suspects created a reality from the tattered remnants of his own admin access.
For just a moment, his unease crests in a way he chalks up to the tangled knot of emotions around everything tied to his first life.
Things are better now, even if he wants to stop being one of the ones who has to shoulder the burden of keeping things that way.
Which is only going to get worse now that he has to try and navigate the idea of teaching Lee code. The idea of leaving any sort of vital education to Lucid makes Day break out in a cold sweat. The idea of leaving such an important part of his youngest son's education in his hands, though, adds near literal hives and roiling nausea to the mix.
Better is not perfect. Remorseful doesn't mean good. Day has sacrificed far too much to risk Lee being hurt in any capacity.
Given that nobody else knows code, that means that Day will have to try to figure out how the hell to teach it to a ten year old. It's not that he resents or even dislikes the thought of teaching his kids; hell, in most cases it serves as a good chance to bond with them.
It's just that code is incredibly complicated. Most of what Day knows is instinctual. Exposure to a wealth of new items, concepts, and needing to figure out how to fix crimes against morality have done a lot to increase his understanding, but…
Not for the first time, he wishes he had a sounding board for this sort of thing.
=========
Wherever it is that Theo is, it looks like some sort of workshop dedicated to bookbinding. The eldest Was-Taken sibling is slowly and methodically assembling a book with lovely, elaborate calligraphy and art.
While he's been caught off guard before, whatever it is he's making seems important enough that his only reaction for several moments is a soft twitch of his wings.
He gently sets his work down once he's at a good stopping point, and gives a long, steady exhale.
The sound makes Perce raise his head curiously. It's clear that he’s the one who did the calligraphy, though the art seems to have been by a third party.
He tilts his head slightly at his eldest brother. "...Something happen?" Theo’s wings ruffle slightly as he says, "Question about if we see people during fuckin’ travels that shouldn't be there. Which, yeah, sometimes. Multiverse is weird n’ whatnot. Still have trouble wrapping my head around how fuckin isolated shit is. SMPza was a shit place, but at least if you walked long enough, you'd end up in a different territory.”
Cosmic outlier cosmic outlier It was SO hard trying to act like we understood the weird stuff there– Yeah but D3 was technically an admin like, what, ten times over? Territory management, our beloathed.
“Dad was only admin ‘cause I didn’t want to deal with that shit. Besides, s’not the same as admins like Lucid is. Or…Lee, apparently,” Theo adds, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Perce, who at this point is used to only hearing half of a conversation, picks up on the general direction that the Fates are going in. “Or Daz,” he points out. Theo snaps his fingers and points at him. “Yeah, him too. Fuckin’ weird that he’s another one. Makes me wonder…” His thoughts trail off, brow creasing as he mentally goes back over when he had first met the now-obnoxiously bubbly Tommy.
Between what Daz had said and how the local Dream had acted, Theo now suspects that the later had not just known about Daz’s capacity for being an admin, but had needed it, somehow.
He hadn’t just been afraid, he had been terrified to the point of tears.
At the time, Theo had written it off as another instance of the unhealthy, unhinged obsession that has cropped up more often than he cared to dwell on during his traveling.
He mutters, mostly to himself, “Dunno why they aren’t both being trained, seems fuckin’ obvious.”
There’s a noise of disagreement from Perce, who flicks his wings slightly. “Too many cooks can fuck things up, especially if those cooks ever disagree. That’s even before you get into how easily things can get messed up, or that Daz can be talked into just about anything.”
But he’s a golden retriever! He just wants to make everyone happy! Yeah, exactly. If someone seemed upset enough, he’d go along with whatever they wanted him to do He’d summon infinite items for everyone He’d make it rain candy because that seemed like a thing people might like He’s not THAT dumb– Who have YOU been watching? He’s an idiot. Idiot is harsh. He’s just a bit… He’s got a different kind of smart, stop being mean–
“If you’re all gonna bicker about the guy, do it more fuckin’ quietly,” Theo says, rolling his eyes at the chorus of grumbled not-quite apologies from the cluster of voices in his head.
Or…the old voices, anyway. He’s still not sure what the deal is with the new ones.
His little brother snorts softly, hiding a grin at the exasperated annoyance Theo has for the Fates.
Which just makes him point threateningly, but otherwise not mention it. “People who aren’t usually part of the Dream SMP…the fuck is your criteria for that, anyway? If you mean fuckin’ baseline, we all see tons of fuckin’ worlds with oodles n’ oodles more people in ‘em. Servers aren’t always a thing, or sometimes they’re weird as shit. Other times people’re just fuckin’...there. One dude pops up every so often, uhh…Wheat or Bran or something like that. Flown with a few of ‘em ‘cause sometimes they have fuckin’ wings, usually help him pull off a prank or two, have acted as a middleman for Caper n’ Spark to sell some of them the schematics for glitter TnT n’ for him to sell them some shit I don’t remember the purpose of. Always a new one, always too much technical shit for my taste.”
He racks his brain for other instances of repeated but non-baseline players, but draws a blank. Perce points out, “Haven’t there been competition worlds?”
Tournament worlds are fun! Vio subbing in for a last minute injury was amazing– I still can’t believe they looked at THAT bastard, then at Day and Theo, and really thought he’d be the least OP out of all of us–
“First of all, we all fuckin’ agreed that he needed a world to let off steam. Second of all, he is not more fuckin’ OP than me–” “Dunno, he sure seems to kick your ass a lot–” Theo abruptly grabs a thick rubber pad and chucks it at his little brother, who leans out of the way of it.
Smugly, Perce tells him, “You’re too obvious. Gotta be faster if you want to win against the reigning king of manhunts–” “Oh, I’ll show you fuckin’ fast–!”
Theo launches himself over the table, but his little brother is already darting away and out the door of their joint workshop. Both of them sport wide, toothy grins that make it clear they’re using the bickering as an excuse to take part in the familiar bonding ritual of mostly friendly fratricide.
=============
The last of the trio pauses in the act of reading out loud. He, along with Aver, are in Aver’s workroom. A sleeveless navy hoodie is being embroidered with dozens of tiny, shimmering stars in shades of silvery white and light blue.
There’s a noise of curiosity from Aver, but he doesn’t look up from the tiny, sure stitches he’s making. It’s not common that he does this sort of work himself any more, but Khons refused to let anyone but Aver have the thread spun from his wool.
Sure, the finished piece will be for Aster, and the thread was offered freely to him as a sign of Khons and Alephs’ friendship. Those didn’t magically erase his trauma.
Even now, Aver is always extremely careful to return any excess and to secure it in the meantime.
It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t think anyone would be stupid or greedy enough to take it even as a joke; the fact is that Khons, and by extension Aleph, have had issues with it being stolen in the past.
Aver, despite his fondness for causing light to moderate headaches, does genuinely want to help people learn to overcome, or at least learn to live with, the strife and misery that led them to end up in Sanctuary.
For all that Lucid is its admin, and all that the T3 are its shepherds, Aver will always be one of those who decided to dig his heels in to make it a home instead of a living hellscape.
The leader of that charge has been quiet for a few moments before he speaks again. “...A question about non-baseline people who show up in the Dream SMP,” he murmurs, looking thoughtful.
Aver is more than familiar with the faint crease of his brow, slightly narrowed eyes, and idle flicks of his tail.
His not-dad is trying to figure something out, but this is one of the rare times when he has no idea what he’s tripped up on.
“Talk to me, big man. You know I’m a good fuckin’ sounding board.” “...It feels like a weird question,” Vio says slowly, that furrow increasing.
“...Seems fuckin’ normal to me? Or not any weirder than any of the others you’ve mentioned.” “Yeah, exactly. I don’t understand why it feels so off.”
Aver hums, his stitching pausing for a few moments. Looking up at Vio without moving his head, he points out, “Might be weird eldritch radar. Dunno what you’d be picking up. God vibes?”
Vio visibly grimaces at the idea. “I don’t want to meddle in the affairs of the divine. I’ve heard enough horror stories from Theo to want nothing to do with any of that.” “Maybe you’re getting scoped out to be a fuckin’ prophet or some shit,” Aver says, mostly to see the way his not-dad’s face contorts in absolute horror.
If the alien had fur, Aver has no doubt it would be standing on end. As it is, he shudders violently. “Nope, no, do not tempt the universe with that sort of talk–” “Not that fuckin’ big of a deal, some of them are chill–” “Your experiences are not only not universal, but entirely unhelpful. Just because Lady Death looks kindly on you–” “Hey, Mumza is pog! Fuckin’ loves hearing about you, too, n’ is still bummed she can’t talk to you directly–”
“I wanted to molt a dozen times in a row being near Philza when he was used as her vessel. I don’t want to revisit that experience. I didn’t even know I could break out in hives, but damn if that isn’t what happened!”
Aver rolls his eyes. “Fuckin’ drama queen. For someone who talks to gods semi-regularly, you’re awfully fuckin’ anti-divine.” “I’m not against divinity, because I’m not suicidal, I just want to remove every layer of my skin and disinfect it in lava by being near them. My body evidently decided that gods are too close to magic, which I am allergic to.”
“Your fatal fuckin’ flaw. That, or being a stubborn bastard.” Vio’s eyes narrow, and he points a finger at him. “Pot, kettle. You wouldn’t keep calling me your dad if you weren’t just as bad–” “Not-dad, get it right,” Aver chirps smugly.
“Fuck you,” Vio retorts flatly. Aver’s smugness only grows as he says, “Not my fault you can’t remember the joke.” “I’m physically incapable of forgetting the joke without severe memory loss, because Day and Theo take every possible chance to tell everyone we meet about it!”
The reminder makes Aver cackle with laughter. “Yeah, Theo thinks it’s fuckin’ hysterical. Can’t blame him there, ‘cause it is. N’ now you have to vanish for the week around fuckin’ Father’s Day, otherwise the whole fuckin’ server lines up to dunk on you.”
An exasperated sigh comes from the weird purple alien who has become such a bafflingly massive part of his life. “I regret my life choices.” “No you don’t. You’ve never been happier.” “Funny, I didn’t know wanting to beat my head against the nearest obsidian block counts as happiness.”
#asked&answered#chronotag#DayDreamer#ChaoticTheseus#CleverPerseus#FatedChat#DoctorViolet#TailorAver#NotFamily#WasTakenAnarchy#long post#the weather and my body are actively sabotaging my efforts to be productive#I would like it to STOP RAINING so I can think for more than six hours every third day please and thank you#SMPza is/was a weird place with weird rules#me? worldbuilding for a world that isn't really seen??#it's so fucking likely#worldbuilding is my first & truest love#thank you for another question I went off the rails for#hopefully less violently than the last one
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Alright this time this is for Theo. Here’s a little context for why your father decided to jump out a window: “Ok SO! Incredibly cursed idea incoming, directed at Day. One day in your multiversal travels you come across a version of you, not Dream, but you, in a happy and loving relationship with Philza Minecraft, the other world’s version of Darkza. However this relationship came to be, whether it’s after Kristin and Phil split or they have an open relationship does not matter. What would your reaction be?”. I sent him this message. Also, I know exactly who Philza Minecraft is. It’s why I chose him and not someone like George. Have a nice day now!
Theo is starting to suspect that the askers find his suffering entertaining.
It's the only reason he can find for why the context of the incident that happened half a day ago pops into his head right when he takes a swig of his soda.
Naturally, half of it is spat back out and a fourth of it exits via his nose. The last fourth feels like it went straight into his lungs. None of those should have any liquids going through them that way, much less a carbonated one.
Plus now his shirt, the couch, and the coffee table are going to be both damp and sticky. The later two can be cleaned fairly easily--and are marred by far more dubious stains anyway--but he does not want to admit to Aver that he may have fucked up another of his casual wear shirts.
Aver–Tommy Prime–was terrifying in a way that Theo never would have imagined he could become when he first met him. You just didn’t cross the guy, because he’s the single most powerful person on the server. Aver has a stranglehold on the entire clothing and fabric import, production, and export related to the server. Anything related to that goes through him at one point or another–up to and including employing at least a dozen other Tommys full time.
He also runs off of spite and probably-eldritch coffee. The guy is cool, but he also maybe scared Theo a tiny bit. Hard not to respect, or not be glad he adored Lee. Said little brother has been learning sewing and embroidery from him for years now; Lee has a voracious appetite for learning any and every skill he could convince anyone to teach him.
Not that any of that will help him when Aver pulls out Seam Ripper to run him through. "Fuckin'--why?!" He's irritated, despairing, and overall unhappy with this entire turn of events. The Fates chitter in amusement at him, though.
I'll take weirdest things a voice in someone's head has said for 500, Alex No no some of you have said WAY weirder shit! I agree, some of you are cringe as hell Lmao look at this guy, thinks cringe culture isn't even deader than Niki Yeah, what rock have you been living under?? Same one that Lucid's sense of style crawled out from, apparently Ooooh burn
Theo puts his head in his hands and sighs. At least this train of thought might distract them from examining what just happened too closely. "Some of you have said some real fuckin’ weirdchamp things before, agreed."
Rude Hey in my defense…the frog looked tasty It was bright red tho??? Yeah like candy! Cherry flavored frog!! Bright colors means poison you piece of soggy toast Okay but if it was one of the ones that gets you high, it would have been VERY funny– Double D would have been mad tho He would have probably found it funny Not if we got Theo killed?!
"A frog wouldn't have fuckin’ killed me, I'm too incredibly pog for that," Theo argues. He’s more than a little offended that they think so little of him. They've been in his head over a decade, they should know better by now. "I would simply not die. Nature fuckin’ quivers before me."
Yeah okay, tell that to a box jellyfish Or a creeper Pfft you should go tell Sam he should quiver before you He DOES though???
His lip curls at the thought of the creeper hybrid. Sam never truly got off his shit list--his crimes may have been largely in his dad’s first life, but…well. Theo forgives nothing and no one for harming his family.
It didn't help that Theo had been forced to watch how the baseline version of the Vault went down at his dad's side. Or, more accurately, sat with him at the bottom of the lava wall and tried to ground him while they both did their best to block out Dream’s screams.
So, yeah, any Sam involved in shady shit related to the Vault was automatically on his bad side.
He's too wrapped up in his own thoughts to attempt herding the metaphorical cats in his head. This proves to be his downfall.
Wait…isn't that basically just selfcest? What the FUCK are you talking about Double D and Phil thing! Think about it, Double D is like…mostly Phil, right? I--no?? How does that make any sense??? I'm lost here too, actually No, no, that's a fair point. Double D is something like 4/5ths Philza, if we count memories as time he lived– DO we count them though??? He does! Yeah, see! Exactly! It TOTALLY counts, therefore we're entering very dangerous territory–
Desperately trying to reign in their bullshit before it ends with him needing to book a therapy appointment again, he tells them, "I'd fuckin’ appreciate if you all wouldn't discuss the idea of my dad n’ Philza being together or the--Dad is not mostly Philza, that's just fuckin stupid!"
Dee takes this exact moment to hop down from the level above and land right in front of his brother. His eyes are narrowed slightly in that way they get when he's trying to figure out if being nosy is worth the possible costs. He evidently decides they are because he asks, "...Care to explain?"
Theo isn't going to suffer through this alone; if this bullshit is being inflicted on him, he’s sharing that burden. He immediately says, "Dad got a real fuckin’ weirdchamp question asking how he would react to seeing a version of himself–him, not Dream–dating a version of Phil. His response was to just fuckin’ fling himself out the window. And now the Fates are fuckin’ debating if it counts as selfcest because of the ratio of memories that are Dad’s versus the ones from Phil. And now I got the same question for context because I was real fuckin’ confused."
After a moment to digest that, Dee gives a thoughtful hum. "I see." He pauses, and then adds, "I deeply regret asking. But since I did, I'm going to say for the sake of my sanity that it's not. As funny as it would be to tell Dad not to pull a Onceler on us, others are already doing that way more clearly. Fates, please stop creating cognitohazards. Theo is enough of one already."
Theo's outraged squawk is coupled with loud laughter from the Fates.
Dee saw where I was going with that!!! Theo tell your older brother he's the second best Wait you were thinking of Onceler??? In this day and age??? Some of us are haunted by those dark, dark times I thought it was all very entertaining, actually And that's why we keep a spritz bottle for YOU I've evolved beyond being afraid of that!! I'm stronger now. I am unstoppable– Yeah that's why there’s a second bottle with bleach. Oh that sounds painful actually. No thanks!
As always, Theo has very little clue what the fuck is happening with them. Is it a bit? Are they actually capable of spritzing wayward members of the chorus with bleach? Is he just trying to do anything to get the idea of his dad dating Philza out of his head?
Only one of those he knows the answer to for sure. He looks up at his brother and tells him, "I'm going to go find Lee and get him to test an experimental potion on me. Anything to skip past this fuckin’ bullshit." He gets up and starts to leave, when Dee shouts after him, "Clean up the soda first, you asshole!" "Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of trying to ignore the fuckin’ bullshit going in my head!" "Theo I swear to fucking Prime if you don't get back here–"
Theo hastens his pace to run and launch himself off the deck and into the air. "Nope! Go fuck yourself!" He throws a middle finger back at Dee as he gains height and, more importantly, distance from him. He curves away from that section of the house because Dee is a bullshit good shot with arrows.
…Though it may have been worth it to get shot a few times rather than deal with whatever Dee will come up with to get back at him for this.
Eh, that’s a problem for future-Theo. Present-Theo is just trying to distract himself from whatever the fuck the Fates are up to in his head.
#Asked&Answered#ChronoTag#ChaoticTheseus#EngineerDaedalus#FatedChat#WasTakenAnarchy#long post#Shei has chosen violence and it shows#have some mood whiplash#also yeah Aver is. Aver isn't the strongest fighter but he's got WAY more influence than you'd expect#anyone who might be able to stand up against him...is on his side anyway#so uh#if you piss him off you're kinda just fucked?#like he's not heartless. you can get clothes and buy fabric and stuff#it's just that they're not going to be NICE clothes and fabric is gonna be hella expensive#he actually only really uses that power to threaten Day and Theo#because they habitually forget to tell him when a new fucked up Dream or protege Tommy has taken the last of the clothes for them#usually bc they're dealing with slightly more pressing things#like undoing protege loyalty nonsense#or helping them get therapists#listen there's a lot of Lore(tm) there if you want to dig into it#feel free to ask someone about those things bc I do actually have a lot of answers
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WasTaken family, what worlds do you like going to best?
Unlike the last time a question was directed towards the entire family, this time they're split into groups.
Theo, Perce, and Lee are once again in the arena, though they’re joined by three of the Council members–Aster, Aleph, and Khons.
Lee sits attentively in the stands with Khons and Perce, attention zeroed in on the other three. They're having some sort of three-way spar and it's...fast. Very, very fast; so fast it's easy to miss the identical, feral grins that Theo and Aster have. Aleph doesn't seem as blatantly enthused, nor quite as speedy, but seems to be enjoying himself and holding his own just fine.
Especially when Theo falters for a fraction of a second and gets a sword through his chest for it.
Almost immediately he starts shouting, darting back into the arena from the respawn room. "That didn't fuckin' count! Interference!" The other two disengage, glance at each other, and then over to Theo. "...Are you sure you aren't just being a sore loser? There wasn't anything that I saw," The piglin hybrid's mostly monotone voice carries a bit of amusement, even if he knows damn well what's going on. All of the Council members do, actually.
Observers are present and almost certainly have asked something.
Theo scowls at him. "Fuckin' question popped up! S' still weird as shit!"
Aster, still catching his breath, squints at him. "...How is it any different from the Fates? Isn't it just one more voice?" The warrior rolls his eyes, flopping down near his brothers in the stands. "No, n’ it's hard to explain why it's not the same," he grumbles, “It just is.” Aleph and Aster both take seats nearby, since there wasn't much point in continuing without him. They had plenty of time to spar just the two of them.
Perce speaks up from his place next to Khons. "As funny as it would be if Theo was just making excuses for fucking up," he says, ignoring the indignant squawk from said brother, "I got it, too. I'm sort of surprised, though–and a little confused about how much they all know. Theo and Dad are the ones in the family who travel a lot--the rest of us only occasionally go elsewhere. For me, it's less of a 'kind' and more a specific one. I like visiting my original world. It's nice meeting up with my friends and seeing how things have been. I don’t regret moving here, but...I still miss them sometimes."
Lee grins, elbowing him. "I was too adorable to not move here for, right?" Perce laughs, reaching over to ruffle his younger brother's hair. "Of course. You'll only be tiny for so long. Plus I thought it would be good to give the rest of them more space. I'm not even the admin any more--and before I get asked, I was...different, from how Dad and Dream Prime. I just kept things running smoothly, no world-talking or link to it like they have. Had, in Dad’s case. From what everyone back on my original world has told me, Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo are doing a great job. I figured they would–wouldn’t have given them control otherwise– but…it’s still nice to be proven right."
There's a grin from the eldest brother at that. He extends a fist towards Aster as he says, "Tommys are just fuckin' pog like that." The Sword bumps his fist back, smiling a little. "We're pretty capable, given the right motivation."
"Best world is Opinionated Ranboo's. Cookie Dream n’ the rest of the cookie team are awesome! Even Ranboo is funny, if a little...likely to give me a headache. The cookies are worth it though! Nothing beats getting one right out of the oven," Lee declares, earning a few smiles. "Capitalist Tommy is another very pog one of us,” Theo comments, “Pretty fuckin’ sure we’d end up signing our souls over if he, Tommy Prime, n’ Caper ever went into business together. We’re just real fuckin’ lucky that Capitalist Tommy is more focused on his own world.”
Khons adds mildly, “And that Caper is more focused on the Prank Guild. Most Tommys are…pretty scary, when they want to be.” Really, though, Khons had his own opinion of who the most terrifying Tommy was. It took a special kind of person to quietly create an entire organization with a secret council at the helm, hide all evidence of said council’s existence from someone who could be shown anything that happened in the world and seamlessly lie to countless people for three years. It took an even more special person to do that for the defense of an admittedly already very safe child, and to then thrive on the deception.
There were a lot of things about Daz that were baffling. Most of them tied back to whatever the hell his original world had been like. A lot of the details of that were withheld even from the other Council members. Though, to be fair, the rest of them weren't exactly open books about their own first worlds either.
“And you, Theo? Favorite kind of world?” It only takes a few moments after Perce looks to his eldest brother before the answer comes. “Probably peaceful-weird ones. Y’know, where shit’s fuckin’ strange but there’s not any real danger. Or, if there is, s’ more like we need to bring people back ‘cause the world is fucked, but not in an insta-death way. More like, uh…there was one with fuckin’--Dream on a little island, n’ the world had flooded, right? But he refused to go unless his friend–fuckin’ merman Quackity, which was wild for a few fuckin’ reasons–could go with him. S’ you might be able to guess, was sorta hard to bring a person who doesn’t have legs n’ can’t breathe air through a portal with us!”
Perce’s eyes narrow slightly. “...Wasn’t that the one where Vio reverse engineered a water breathing potion out of spite? Even though he has basically a magic allergy?” Theo laughs cheerfully, “Yeah! Fucker scared the shit out of the two we were fuckin’ there to help, ‘cause he flat out didn’t sleep for about four days. Dream asked at one point what was up with him, and Dad fuckin’ said that Vio has a personal grudge against water. Fucker then shouted back that water had a personal grudge against him, n’ I think I laughed so hard I blacked out for a few seconds.”
“Sounds about right,” Aleph says, smiling faintly. “He was…interesting. In the world Moons and I came from, he decided to leave a message for the group we were running from that time.” Khons has stilled, an uneasy expression on his face. Aleph carefully leans against him ever so slightly, a gentle reminder of his presence. Theo watches them for a moment, then says helpfully, “So, yeah–that kind of place. Or just…ones without all the real fucked up shit. I’m real fuckin’ sick of finding another fuckin’ Protege Tommy world. No offense, Aster, but–”
A shrug meets the apology. Aster says mildly, “None taken. It’s depressing to see how common they are, anyway. Granted, a lot of them do end up in the Swords and Shields because…well. Lee is a sweet kid and one of the least threatening Dreams we have.” He looks at the kid in question, whose smile falters a bit. “...Would be nice if nobody was hurt at all, but…if they end up here, bad stuff happened to them or their world. I didn’t really…deal with any of that. Or, at least–I don’t remember it. I’ve gotten a lot of kindness from everyone here. It’s sort of…the least I can do, to try to make the really messed up people feel a little safer.”
One hand goes to touch the brooch worn over his heart. “...I just want everyone to be safe and happy. They deserve that much.” The quiet words linger for only a moment, and then he feels a hand settle gently on his head. When he looks up, Aster is smiling softly at him. “You’ve got a big heart. It’s what made all of us decide to stick by your side–we don’t want you to stop being that kind.”
The sheer weight of that draws a tiny frown from Lee. “I know, I know. It’s…” he trails off, struggling to put the feeling into words. After a few moments Khons gently offers, “It feels like you’re being given too much, right? Like you haven’t done enough to earn that sort of loyalty?” Lee nods a little. “Mhm. That’s how we all felt, you know. What had we done, to make us worthy of being taken back here? What had we done, to merit the kindness and empathy we’d been given? What made it okay for us to finally be safe?”
The rhetorical questions make Lee look a little offended. Feathers puffing in outrage, he protests, “Nobody has to earn–” “We know that, now. But at first…it’s hard to believe that. It’s easier to accept flower crowns and scrawled drawings and disarmingly sweet compliments from a little kid than it is to believe that the world really is safe. ‘Leph and I would probably never have gotten as involved in things if you hadn’t opened that door. It might not have been your intention to start anything bigger…but you did. We’re glad for it.”
Aleph inclines his head a little. “All of the Swords and Shields are behind you because of that. You didn’t say anything about Khons’ wool or my fur–you just said that his eyes are kind and that I looked like a good friend. It’s still not what we’re used to; a lot of new people will make comments about what we look like.”
Silence falls over them for a few moments, Lee clearly considering all of it. “...Okay,” he says with quiet reluctance. “Baby brother, just accept that you’re pog. S’ just a fact. Can’t turn the sky green or the fuckin’ grass blue, can’t change that you’re the best tiny brother I’ve ever had. None of the others fuckin’ compare,” Theo declares. Perce rolls his eyes, and elbows his elder brother. “Don’t rank us; I’ll tell Dad.” “Don’t be a sore loser, Perce. I can still kick your ass,” Theo retorts.
Perce grins at him, a toothiness to it that spoke of mischief and the innate competitive drive he had. “That really depends on what we’re going against each other in, but sure. Tell yourself you’re the best–if you say it enough times it might become true.” There’s a scoff from the elder brother, who ruffles his wings a little. “I can come out on top in anything–” “Manhunts, trivia nights, ability to keep my fucking mouth shut for more than five seconds–” “Fuck you! I could beat you if I wanted to–”
It quickly devolves into petty bickering, though there’s still that ever-present affectionate edge to it. Then Lee jumps into the verbal fray, which drags the two Swords and the Shield with him, and…it’s unlikely that the sparring will resume any time soon.
=================
Over in the flower fields next to Summer Hills, the second eldest of the family barely has to stop and think about the question. “Best worlds to visit are any of the peaceful ones with big societies and a lot of advanced tech. New things to take apart, new media, new internet to dive into. There’s always something unique in those worlds and I fucking love them.”
The two with him–Raine and Tubbo Prime–both stare at him. The other Tubbo looks confused. “Uh…Dee, who are you…oh.” He stops, realization dawning. “Did you get another question?” “Mm. Wanted to know the family’s favorite kind of world to visit,” Dee says, idly watching as bees float by them.
“...The whole…question thing unsettles me,” Raine admits quietly. “Yeah, shit’s weird. It’s just one more to add to the pile, though, and we can’t do much about it. Better to answer than be stubborn and piss whatever or whoever is asking off, right? Unless they’re assholes. In which case, I’ll meet that assholery in spades.”
Tubbo Prime grins a little. “Oh, definitely. Vee was pretty annoyed about the first few–last time I saw him go all eye twitchy like that was when he heard the names of Boo’s picks. Which was fair, because he’s been stabbed for those.” Raine’s expression turns deadpan. “His axe is bad, too. Not as bad as some of the other names I’ve heard, but…” “It’s okay,” Dee says earnestly, though with a mischievous grin. Putting a hand on his shoulder he continues, “This is a safe place. You can tell us how terrible Dream Prime’s equipment names are. We understand. We feel your pain.”
The three of them all crack up, Raine being the first to break. He wheezes out, “I still can’t believe he went from naming everything Nightmare to–whatever the fuck his current ones are–” Dee scowls, gesturing with his hands as he talks. “Dad knows what they mean. He refuses to explain beyond saying that they’re melodramatic and dumb as hell. I keep trying to get him to fucking crack, but…he’s him. So, you know, he’s a stubborn asshole who refuses to let me have any fun–”
Tubbo Prime shakes his head sympathetically. “Truly, he’s the head of the Fun Police.” “Yeah, but he’s pretty alright. And…a little scary,” Raine says as he lays back against the grass. “Oh yeah, no, you didn’t see him fight a fucking god with Theo, Techno, and Vee. He’s weird, but good weird. Like everyone else from that world!”
Dee makes a face. “No, there were assholes. There were a lot of assholes, actually. Hell, Vio used to be one of them. Still is, a little bit! I could start listing them off, but that’s fucking depressing. I’d rather watch the bees.” “Bees are superior to most things,” Tubbo Prime agrees, watching two of them drift by.
=================
Day sighs softly at the sound of a question. He’s in his living room with both Atlas and Orpheus, all three involved in their own projects. Day is in a chair and knitting a sweater in dark green, white, and light blue yarn. Atlas is positioned sideways on the couch with some sort of odd-looking board that he’s deftly knotting thin wire and beads onto in a complex pattern. Orpheus is…well. He’s got a ton of papers with notes and music on them spread out across the floor, his com propped up off to one side, a guitar halfway in his lap, and is chewing on a pencil.
“You two get that one, too?” “Yup,” Atlas says, not looking up from his project. Orph makes a noise of distracted agreement, eyes narrowed as he stares down at one of the pieces of paper like it personally offended him.
“Any of them I can go see musicals in,” Orph mutters after a moment. Atlas nods in agreement. “Yeah, those ones usually have good stuff for jewelry. It’s a pain to put away our wings, but worth it to just…go have a day of fun.”
“I keep getting mistaken for their brother. It’s funny,” Day cheerfully adds. Orpheus makes a face, finally looking up at him. “You get smug about it. It’s not their fault immortality isn’t a thing for most people–” “He gets so smug,” Atlas groans, glaring at their dad.
Day is entirely unrepentant. “Yes, well…it’s still very funny.” Orph points his pencil at him. “Hypocrite!” “Mmm, special Dad privileges. I’ve earned being a chaotic asshole from time to time,” Day says with a little shrug.
Orph starts intoning, “Every day spent here is a nightmare–” “No, that’s an axe. And a set of armor. And a sword–” Day’s interruption makes his son make an infuriated noise and hiss, “You know what I meant!”
That only makes Day raise his eyebrows slightly. “Of course I did. I also know that you’re a terrible gremlin child and deserve every single terrible dad joke I make. All of you do. I’m getting belated revenge for the raccoons, Orpheus.” Day shifts his attention to Atlas, who laughs nervously. “So, uh–your favorite kind of world, Dad?”
Day shrugs. “Anywhere that’s peaceful. It’s nice to not have to immediately deal with some horrible, nightmarish crisis involving pain, suffering, and death. The solution in those cases is usually more death. Or making everyone talk. Either way, I don’t like those. Ones that are just…silly, or lighthearted, or just generally aren’t deeply depressing. Or…hurt my head. We’ve had a few of those.”
“...Wilbur being married to XD was weird to hear about,” Atlas says, and all three of them make similar faces. Orpheus’s voice is slightly higher pitched as he rants, “How do you think it felt for me?! I had to hear about an alternate self that was married to a god who my Dad created here!”
“I had to meet a version of someone I fought a war against and another of whom is my son who married a god that is, for me, little more than an admin program I created. I had to have a little scream into a pillow after that one, because it was so baffling. We didn’t even do anything; we were just there to see it existed!” Day’s voice goes from oddly flat to somewhat frustrated as he speaks. He takes a moment to set his knitting down and stare blankly up at the ceiling. “I feel like the butt of a cosmic joke sometimes.”
“Nah,” Atlas offers mildly, looking back at his project, “that would be Dream Prime.”
#Asked&Answered#ChaoticTheseus#CleverPerseus#PoisonousAchilles#GoldenKhons#DarkAleph#ShiningAster#EngineerDaedalus#TubboPrime#RaineStorm#DayDreamer#JewlerAtlas#MusicalOrpheus#long post#WasTakenAnarchy#SwordsShieldsHearts#CouncilOfTheStar#ChronoTag
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How do you deal with role reversal worlds?? Or just in general, worlds where Tommy is cold and cruel and everything Not Tommy?
The question makes Vio blink a few times. He glances over at what looks like a very normal dog, but whose ears have perked up despite there being no other noise.
Then the dog looks at him with far too much intelligence and almost seems to nod, and it’s suddenly a lot more questionable if that’s actually a normal dog or not.
Vio considers the question as the dog hops up onto the alarmingly purple couch and settles down against his side. The alien rolls his eyes and scratches under the neon purple collar that matches the couch. The netherite tag on it says that his name is Hero. If it were a normal dog, it would be a lot weirder that his nametag is netherite, but it's pretty clear that Hero is very much unique. “It still baffles me that you request this,” he mutters to himself, getting a wide grin that shows–okay, yeah, no, those teeth are disturbingly sharp. They look a lot like little knives and–they might be serrated?
“Yes, I know you do this just to be a petty asshole. That doesn’t make it seem any less demeaning for an eldritch entity to decide to ask for scratchies,” Vio replies. “You could literally do it yourself. You’re a shapeshifter. You’ve helped me with surgeries.”
An eerily deep woof is the response he gets. The alien’s eyes narrow at him. “Go fuck yourself. Either don’t sass me or give up on your precious scratchies.” There’s a sulky huff, then the not-dog sets his head down on his paws.
“That’s what I thought,” Vio says, sounding a little smug. “As far as the question…well, it depends on the context. Sometimes Tommy is like that because he’s been put through hell. Sometimes he’s just a sadistic asshole. The way I cope with the former is very different from how I deal with the latter. There are more than a few Tommys who have ended up here, and many act distinctly unlike Toms ever did.”
The casual use of the nickname is coupled with a slight anger, though it’s mainly visible through a single flick of his tail. There’s no guilt or hesitation as he continues, “That said, the ones who are cruel and cold due to that being their innate nature are dealt with the same way we deal with the Dreams or Schlatts or anyone else who poses a threat or risk to whatever we believe is the reason we’re in that world. By that I mean that we cut them down without mercy, because they are not and never will be the ones we know, care about, and have built this place up with and for.”
His attention slides over to Hero, who is staring back at him. The not-dog huffs a little again, eyes rolling. It’s…more than a little weird to see how he can emote and communicate so well without words.
“Hero says that he doesn’t give a shit as long as he gets fed. New people keep making the mistake of giving him prismarine and spider eyes, thinking if they let him sniff it he’ll be repulsed.” He turns his slit gaze to the not-dog, who is studiously looking away like it will make him any less guilty. “You need to stop tricking them like an asshole; you know that it pisses Tommy Prime off when you corrode the Prime Path with your fucking acidic drool. That, and prismarine is a sometimes treat, not a part of your staple fucking diet. You get fed more than enough, you don’t need to resort to begging people who don’t know any better!”
Vio looks a little surprised at the question. “Chorus fruit salsa. I learned how to make it from some abnormally friendly endermen in exchange for bringing some chorus fruit back for them. I also taught them how to write and say it in common, and taught Capitalist Tommy how to write and say it in Ender. The endermen were having some trouble conveying to him that they wanted it. Given that nobody there speaks Ender aside from possibly Opinionated Ranboo–who remains an enigma after all this time–and that Capitalist Tommy has never been to the End, that was an understandable stumbling block.”
He shrugs, smiling at the memories. “It’s very tasty. Boo agrees, Bee and Toms don’t. Michael refuses to say either way to avoid upsetting either of his dads after the other got incredibly smug about finally emerging victorious in that particular battle. It would be inevitable and the source of another threat of divorce and/or prank war.”
The too-sharp teeth he has himself are shown as his smile turns into a grin. “They’re all chaotic and capable of killing me in my sleep in countless ways if they felt the need, but…I’m happy. I’ve seen what I would have been like if I never ended up here. Whatever reason I was pulled here for, even if it was for the multiverse travel I was forcibly enlisted into…? I’m glad for it. I like my life, I like helping people. I like being friends and co-workers with Day and Theo in spite of their insanity.”
A soft laugh is let out as he rolls his eyes again. With an amused tone he adds, “For all that Day tells me I act like a dad, he spends an awful lot of time acting like a child. I swear to Prime, I’m in possession of roughly four fifths of the self control between the three of us. The last fifth is usually held onto by Day, though sometimes Theo grabs it for a few brief, blessed moments. But, well, I can’t really think of anyone more capable to do this with. Theo’s reputation is well earned--and he had people scrambling to try and buy info on any sort of weakness he might have despite him being blind. Day, meanwhile, is…more or less the people person of the group. That, and makes sure Theo doesn’t just wander off for whatever he thinks sounds fun. It’s still baffling that he’s made a game out of spotting Purpleds. It’s even more baffling that he usually loses said game.”
Hero’s eyes open again as Vio smiles slightly smugly. “And then me? I’m the one who helps cement that yes, us being there. That, and team doctor. I can fight if I need to, but I tend to prefer healing. It’s more of a challenge–it’s so much harder to fix something than to break it.”
The not-dog at his side huffs yet again. Vio blinks down at him. “...You’re right, I’m rambling. It’s a bad habit.”
=============
Theo blinks a little at the question, hands pausing in their motion. Day’s do as well; they’re both doing dishes with Lee, the family meal done with and everyone back in their own houses.
Lee looks between them, then his eyes light up a little. “New question? What is it?” Day tells him, “Apparently they want to know our favorite food. That’s a little hard for me, even if it’s a normal question. Again–living on raw potatoes for around a year will sort of…make you appreciate literally anything edible and non-poisoned. Though, honestly, if the poison was hidden well enough I probably wouldn’t care about that part.”
Theo reaches over to smack his arm and glare at him. Day frowns a little at him, then Lee hits him as well. “No! No talking about your own death like that, Dad. I’ll drag you to Techno myself if I need to.” He stops, looks aside, and adds, “...I’ll keep the hiding the poison thing in mind, though.” After another beat he abruptly looks back at his surprised family members. “Not for you, Dad. Or Theo, probably.” “Probably?!”
The outraged cry is met by the youngest family member rolling his eyes. “I know what you’re like and make no promises that you won’t make me mad enough to poison you. Don’t worry, I’ll make it non lethal. Or, okay–if it is lethal, it will at least be quick.”
Day finally breaks into loud, teakettle laughter, smacking the counter with one hand and trying to breathe. “Oh PRIME, that’s amazing–I wish I was recording!” Theo turns his offended, disbelieving look to his dad, hands flying up in offense. “What the fuck?! What did I do!?”
Lee squints at him and asks slowly “...Do you want that list in alphabetical order, or chronological…?”
That only seems to set Day off even more, the immortal now leaning against the counter in an attempt to stay halfway upright. Theo glares at him, flipping him off. He gives his little brother a stern look, and is met by raised eyebrows. “...You’re getting awfully fuckin’ sassy for someone who shares a house with me.” Day manages to compose himself enough to say, “No retaliation for that! We’re encouraging hiss sass, not stifling it!”
Day’s verdict is met by a squawk of further offense. “You biased asshole–!” “I’d also turn the full fury of my small army back towards you, Theo, soooooo–” The laughter from their dad dies abruptly, the man straightening and pointing at his youngest. “No threatening to use the Swords and Shields for nefarious and/or revenge based reasons. They shouldn’t be helping you with anything like pranks or mayhem. We’re trying to show new people that you’re not evil. Using the people who have sworn to protect and defend you to help you mercilessly crush your siblings under your heel does not help sell people who are already iffy about a Dream raising two other Dreams, one of whom has an army.”
The pair of wings at Lee’s back slump a little as he scowls. “Fun policeeee…”
Day rolls his eyes a little. “Just like Dee, you don’t get to engage in quote-unquote fun that drains the sanity of others. Less trauma for new people, not more. They get a grace period before they can be pranked for a reason, Achilles.”
Theo crows, “Hah! Sucks to be you, tiny bro–” “You’d have been worse with a sworn army when you were his age, so don’t be a smug asshole,” Day interjects, only raising his eyebrows when Theo takes a deep inhale like he’s going to protest more.
The warrior’s wings slump as he admits, “...Yeah, yeah I would’ve been. Fuck.”
“Exactly,” Day says as he starts scrubbing again. “The answer to the question is that while I’ll eat damn near anything, I do like things that are fresh. I learned to cook halfway to feed my four gremlins, halfway to really enjoy that I was able to do so. I did have some…mishaps, sure–” Theo cuts in, “He gave us food poisoning on more than one occasion! That, or made something very fuckin’ inedible that he somehow didn’t notice was fuckin’ stomach churning!”
Lee whips around to stare at his dad, who shrugs. “I was a street kid, then I relied on either crafted food or my friends, then I went into my second life and spent about two decades wandering. I didn’t really have to cook until I was adopted by your brothers. Sometimes I was also trying to use someone else’s memories to make something without understanding how or why things worked. I then tried to translate whatever Phil used to different portion sizes and with different ingredients. It’s also–first of all, I never directly tasted pretty much any of it. Memories of food and what food actually tastes like are very different things. Second of all, sometimes the memories don’t quite…sync up right.”
Theo is staring too, opening and closing his mouth a few times before he finally says, “...That explains a whole fuckin’ lot about how shit you were at cooking, actually.” Day points at the sink to get Theo to start helping again. He does so as his dad agrees, “Yeah, no, turns out it helps to know what the fuck everything is doing in a recipe before you start tinkering with it. Books helped a lot.”
“Holy shit you did start getting better after we got you a stack of them didn’t you,” Theo gasps, eyes wide with realization. “Prime, how do you keep finding new ways to make everything make sense?!”
Day makes a face. “I mean…you’re a little oblivious sometimes, so…” “Why are you bullying me?! What did I fuckin’ do?!” The cry of dismay is met with a deadpan look from his dad, who hands the plate to his youngest so it can be dried. “Theseus Was-Taken, you have never, not once in your fucking life, not taken every single chance to be a chaotic little gremlin without a lot of incentive involved. I can and will take any chance I get to repay you for a fraction of the headaches you caused me while you and your brothers were growing up.”
Lee says reproachfully, “Yeah, you’re the reason the no murder at the table rule is in place.” “I don’t do anything! This is discrimination–!” Day cuts off the protest with a laugh and says, “No, this is your crimes being laid at your feet. All of your brothers have dove across the table mid-dinner to attempt to stab you with whatever utensil is in their hand. Perce wielding a spoon was memorable. Alarming, but memorable”
There’s a scoff as Theo hands another plate to his little brother. “Lee hasn’t–” “I’ve been tempted a few times. Also, it’s too predictable and I’m not good enough yet; I have to be sneakier.”
The other two look at the youngest, who beams at them.
“...I forget you’re a Dream sometimes, and then you say things like that and remind me all over again,” Day finally says after a few beats, and then resumes scrubbing. “You’re right, though. If your opponent is stronger physically, find ways around that. Raw strength and skill with a weapon are pretty much never the only tools you can use. There are so many ways to defeat others–”
Lee perks up, interjecting, “Like diplomacy or stealth!” Day grins. “Yes, exactly. You can also avoid making enemies in the first place, or making yourself into someone they can’t reasonably go after without losing far more than they’d gain. Victory isn’t always about killing others, it’s about getting the outcome you wanted or needed. Actual murder shouldn’t be your first option in most cases.” He abruptly looks over at Theo. “You never answered the question, by the way.”
Theo blinks at him, leaning against the counter as he waits to be handed another dish to put up. “Hmm?” “The food question; it was for all of us.”
He frowns a little at the reminder, not sure when he got distracted enough to forget that. “Oh. Huh. Uh–I like the cookies from fuckin’ Opinionated Ranboo world. That place might be real fuckin’ weird but they sure as fuck know how to make cookies. Out of all of them, though, the best are butterscotch.”
Lee gasps in outrage, nearly shoving the plate he had just dried at him. “Fuck you, the oatmeal chocolate chip are clearly the best ones–” Theo takes it and laughs, “Hah! Tiny brother, you know not what you speak of!” “I’ll end you, Theo, don’t fucking test me–”
Day cuts them off, eyes narrowing at them. “Children, I’d really rather not have to mop blood up in the kitchen when Lee grabs the nearest knife–don’t think I didn’t see you looking at them, Achilles–and Theo can’t bring himself to actually defend against his little brother.”
Both of them look a little guilty at being correctly called out, even as Day continues, “Any further attempts to start this argument again will be met with being grounded and/or stuck in time out. I can and will drag your other brothers back over here to mercilessly mock you or inform the Swords and Shields that you’re not allowed to go out for the day, respectively.”
Theo scowls at him, grumbling as he puts the plate he’d had shoved at him away. “Fuckin’ asshole.” “Fun police,” Lee mutters, earning a long sigh from their Dad. “Sure,” he says, rolling his eyes at the sulking, “if that’s how you two want to see it.”
#Asked&Answered#DoctorViolet#ThatsNotADog#DayDreamer#ChaoticTheseus#PoisonousAchilles#WasTakenAnarchy#long post#VERY long post#I planned on another question but then this got away from me#sometimes the words go good#other times they do not#this time they went REAL good#also yes Hero does get his own tag#ask the not-dog things if you so desire#the answers might be sort of...unconventional#ditto for the world tbh#ChronoTag
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I am showing perce the alcremie,, I hope it fills him with joy
Perce visibly startles much like his dad had when the little popup appears. He gasps softly, entirely distracted from the conversation he was having with his brothers. “That’s a friend,” he says, pulling out his com to try and take a picture or record it somehow.
Theo’s eyes widen as he realizes what’s happened. “Did you get it?! Tell me you can record it,” he says, trying to look at the com screen. “I want to show the rest of them, if it works like that–” The rest of their faces light up, especially Lee’s.
The smallest family member says, “They’re perfect and I love them. War cancelled, Dad will be shown mercy he doesn’t deserve.” It suddenly becomes clear that they were having a meeting of some sort, probably to try and repay Day for not even attempting to record or share the image.
“Can I make it go on my com? I want it forever,” Lee continues, gasping in delight as a soft ping sounds. “Same here,” Orph says quickly, followed by the others all agreeing. The chimes all sound at once, and Orpheus adds, “My crops are watered, my face is clear, and the fanart of Dad but as a Pokemon saved to my cloud.”
#Asked&Answered#CleverPerseus#PoisonousAchilles#ChaoticTheseus#MusicalOrpheus#WasTakenAnarchy#Dee and Atlas are there too#just didn't say anything#the war was going to be a prank war if that wasn't clear#ChronoTag
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"For Day— did you know I have a Pokémon named after you?
An Alcremie named Daydreammmm
Behold"
Day is visibly startled at the little screen that appears out of nowhere right in front of his face. He looks between the thing and then over to Perce, who had just been about to take a bite out of the toast he had snagged.
Perce looks at the piece of food, then up to his dad with visible confusion of his own. “...What? Is toast not allowed now?” “...So you can’t see this, then?” Day’s question only earns a look of further confusion. “Nnnnno? I don’t think so? What are you even seeing?”
Day refocuses on the image, actually paying attention to it. “...So good news and bad news. Good news, it’s not an invasive question about our personal lives from unseen voices that I and Theo are required to answer at the behest of the deity whose dominion is time and probably reality that conscripted us to fix the problems of countless versions of our home.”
This earns a long pause. “...That is good, yes,” his son answers slowly, brow creasing in concern. “Uh…and the bad news…?”
“Said voices are able to send us pictures. It looks like a popup hovering in the air and I’m not really sure how to get it to go away,” Day replies. There’s a beat and then he adds, “...It’s of…I’m pretty sure that’s one of the Pokemon from those games you and your brothers like…?”
Perce suddenly looks a lot more interested. “Which one?” “Uh…it has clovers on its…ears? Are those ears? And looks kind of like a blob of cream. It’s apparently named after me…?” Day sounds very unsure, squinting at the image. “Alcremie,” Perce says, nodding to himself. “What color is the cream?”
“Perseus, I’m not going to describe a piece of art to you–” Day’s exasperated words are cut off by his second youngest reaching over and grabbing his shoulders. His eyes go wide. “It’s fanart?! Dad, find a way to show me and Lee needs to see it too–” “Nnno, I don’t think I’ll be doing that–” “We need to see the fanart of Pokemon you, this is injustice!” Day looks no less convinced as Perce shakes him a little.
The immortal just takes a bite of his own toast, eyebrows raising. “Nah.” He hums to himself as the image vanishes. “Oh, look, it’s gone now. A shame, it was cute.” From the look on Perce’s face you’d think this was the most grievous of offenses. “Why would you do this?! Why didn’t you try and take a picture with your com?! Orph is right, this family is a nightmare–don’t you do the stupid fucking joke with that! You haven’t earned that! Dad joke privileges revoked!”
Day grins when his behavior is accurately predicted. “I did it,” he tells his second youngest while staring him dead in the face, “Because of the cows.”
Perce narrows his eyes at him. “That wasn’t me.” “We both know it was. I’d ask how you managed to dye a herd of cows into a rainbow and get them to spell out ‘fuck you’ in color order long enough to take a picture, but quite frankly I’m not willing to damage my sanity to learn your secrets. You did earn Theo’s eternal ire, though–you know how he is with his cows,” Day replies.
“The cows were perfectly fine, and whoever did that probably did it for entirely fucking justified reasons,” Perce scoffs. He grabs an apple and starts to walk out. However he does so backwards and pointing threateningly at his dad with his piece of toast, “I’m telling all the others you got fanart of a Pokemon named after you and didn’t even try to share!”
The amusement on Day’s face vanishes in an instant. Instead he looks a little uneasy, following after his son and saying nervously, “Uh, let’s not–” “My baby brother will be very upset! You’re gonna rue this!” “Perseus Was-Taken, don’t threaten me with Lee getting upset!” “It’s your own fault, old man! Thy hubris will be thy fucking downfall!”
#submission#Asked&Answered#DayDreamer#CleverPerseus#WasTakenAnarchy#long post#Perce is a nerd (affectionate)#fun fact pretty much all of them play games of some sort#Pokemon is a solid middle ground for them#yes even and ESPECIALLY Theo plays it too#Day is glad they're bonding over it#but it does not hold his own interest#there are perks to having two multiverse travelers in the family and basically unlimited access to games and assorted media is one of them#ChronoTag
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Can we hear about some of the strangest worlds you’ve visited?? (Not including the Taco Dream world)
“Glad you’re not asking about that one, because I refuse to think about it any more,” Day says, the same rage he had previously shown flashing in his eyes for just a split second before it’s replaced by consideration. “Hmm. Strangest is…a broad descriptor.”
“Are you seriously answering right now?!” Day raises his eyebrows at the baffled question from someone who’s clearly another Dream. The immortal deftly and effortlessly dodges the attempt to decapitate him that his other version makes. Said alternate’s most notable features are the three long, diagonal scars across most of his face and the fact that nearly every inch of his skin from the chin down is covered. His hands are the only other place where he shows skin, though his palms are covered by fingerless gloves.
They’re in the arena and the aforementioned Dream is evidently one of the Shields. His ear cuff looks older, though, and a little different from some of the other ones; sort of like it was a first pass, or at least an early one. Day barely looks winded, while this other Dream seems to be putting a lot of effort into his attacks.
“Yes,” Day replies, grinning a little. “Might as well give myself a handicap, since you seem to be–whoop!” His snark is cut off by a far closer call, followed by his grin growing. “There we go, get pissed! Get so pissed off you shut me up–” “I’m fucking trying,” comes the snapped response, his dulled green eyes flashing with irritation as he swings again.
Day scoffs a little. “Not hard enough, evidently! I can still answer the question just fine. Anyway; weirdest worlds are probably…cat world is pretty high up there, got to admit. Good kind of weird, but weird all the same. There’s been a lot where one or more people are secretly gods and a few with…magical girls, I guess, for lack of a better term. Just mostly guys who gained magic through what we’ve started calling Faustian soul bargains. Those types are both weirder more because there are a surprising number of them rather than inherent weirdness, though. Okay, well–magical girl worlds are a little weird. It’s also very funny that Vio immediately gets attacked every single time we step into one.”
It’s actually sort of impressive how easily he’s blocking or flat out dodging the attacks against him; the other Dream looks increasingly angry about it. “You’re perfectly capable, Raine, but you always second guess every swing! I know you’ve been here for years already, but–”
Day is cut off by a sudden dagger in his throat, eyes widening in surprise. He vanishes in a soft puff of air, leaving the other Dream–Raine, evidently–panting but with a triumphant grin. It was notable that no items had been left behind, despite Day having clearly been using a few things.
The winged immortal steps out of a back room, grinning as well. “Got too cocky, I guess. Goo–” He’s cut off by a blur running past him and leaping at Raine; the young adult makes a noise of alarm and barely puts his weapons in his inventory in time to catch Lee. “HELL YEAH!” He looks weirdly thrilled that his Dad just got stabbed in front of him, though Raine only looks a little surprised at his excitement. That, or suddenly having to catch him. For all that he had been struggling against Day, he was still easily able to hold the roughly ten year old–so he was clearly physically strong. Lee’s eyes almost sparkle with joy. “I’m so glad you started training, ‘cause now we can learn together.”
Day has to suppress a snort at the slightly guilty and slightly hopeful look Raine has; whatever his world had been like, he clearly hadn’t needed to use much in the way of deception. “I mean…I wouldn’t want to intrude…” Day is clearly amused by that reaction. “Eh, it’s extra motivation for both of you. It is nice that you’ve decided to learn more about attacking rather than just defending, though; I can’t imagine what possibly could have made you finally decide to start.”
Raine sets Lee down, shooting a glare over his head. “I thought it was time to step things up. The question thing is…unsettling. I don’t trust it.” His eyes narrow slightly, arms folding over his chest in a tell of his discomfort. Day sighs a little, rolling his shoulders to ease the tension in them. “Mm. I don’t blame you for that. Just don’t get too caught up in catastrophizing over it; there’s nothing we can do but see how it all plays out.”
Lee grins up at one of his self-proclaimed guardians. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out! We always do.” He turns to his Dad, bouncing a little on his feet. “Dad, what other worlds were weird? There were a bunch of them, right?”
The excitement earns smiles from both Day and Raine. “Yeah, there were. Thanks for reminding me. Other notable ones would be the one where Ghostbur decided to fuck with everyone by slapping a fake mustache on and claiming that he was Ghost, a family friend who definitely wasn’t Ghostbur. Techno immediately decided to go along with it and committed to the bit. We honestly just watched that one happen because it was very entertaining.”
He laughs a little and continues, “A lot of the time if a world is entertainingly weird it’s centered around Tommy in some way. I really liked the one where he somehow convinced Mothman to be his bodyguard without even realizing it. He called said cryptid Clementine and she would ride on his shoulder. Dream was fucking terrified of her, which was incredible. I understood the threat she made because–I have no idea where or how the fuck Philza learned that language, just that it’s in my brain now and it came in handy. I managed to tell her that we were…mm, closest translation would be something like watcher-protector-safe? Languages are weird as fuck.”
Day shrugs a little, stretching his arms out in front of him and his wings out behind him. “I could go on for hours about the strangest ones we’ve seen, but there’s only so much time in a day. And for a Day!” That joke earns him a smack on the arm from his son, who gives him a stern look. “That was a bad one. Don’t make bad jokes.”
“Ah, but Lee…that’s one of the perks of being a dad.” Day bends down to ruffle his youngest’s hair, though he’s careful not to mess up any of the braids. He continues, “I get to make terrible jokes that cause everyone around me pain. I suffer through you and your brothers being chaotic little gremlins who try to stab each other often enough that I had to make a ‘no murder attempts at the table’ rule. So, in turn, I make all of you suffer through bad jokes.”
Lee makes a face at him, clearly displeased with the form of retaliation. Day grins back, more than a little smug. “I’ll stop doing them as soon as I stop finding blood on things from impromptu stabbings. Since that won’t ever happen because Theo is physically incapable of not being a smartass and inciting chaos, none of you will ever be free of puns and dad jokes.”
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Thoughts on the swapped version of the Was-Taken family, including Darkza?
Atlas jolts a little in surprise, eyes flicking around like he can spot the disembodied voice.
He’s in one of the work areas of his shop, having just been deftly weaving wires and beads together in a way that spoke of many years of experience doing so.
It takes him a few seconds to really register what was asked. He slowly starts his weaving again as he thinks. “...They’re…weird. I know it’s technically normal, but…it’s still hard to imagine a life like Tommy and Techno lived through. They’re both so…different. It’s mostly how their family is…not really a family. They don’t really seem to want to be one either, and it’s…just…weird. Like I said.”
He picks up speed again as he talks. “The easiest to talk about is probably Wilbur. He’s fine, I guess, even if he really should learn how to make food you can actually eat. He runs a burger van, he should be able to make decent burgers at least half of the time. It’s always a gamble, which isn’t really an ideal dining experience. We don’t interact much.”
“Next is probably Tubbo. I like him; he’s fun to be around. Definitely more on the feral side, but so is Dee. I really like when he, Ranboo, Tommy, Orph, and me all get together and do stuff. Quizzy sometimes comes along, but he’s usually busy with his and Skeppy’s restaurant. Purpled is…usually pretty focused on keeping things running around here, but he also joins us. It’s not often we can all hang out, but it’s nice when it happens.” He blinks, and realizes he’d gotten a bit off track. “But, uh…Tubbo is a little too much like Dee sometimes. It doesn’t help that the two of them learned stuff from each other. If either of them decide to go nuclear, we’re all doomed.”
There’s silence aside from the clicks of his pliers and beads rattling together as he picks up new ones to add to his piece while he thinks more.
Finally, he begins again. “Techno is…sort of hard. He’s half me and half Theo, but…sometimes in the worst ways. Even though I hate that Dad hid everything about here from us for so long–and could have stopped stuff just by talking, like he always told us was so important to do…” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “I hate that part of it, but I also know everything would have been worse if he didn’t know about it. So between a life where he didn’t know and he did but kept quiet, I’ll take the second one. I can see how he tried to help us be less…messed up. He kept trying to nudge me enough to feel things but not so much I shut down; he made sure nobody could hurt Theo; he made Orph feel as supported and loved as he could; he tried to help Dee with seeing through manipulation. I’d like to think in a world without a link to this one we’d have all been really happy.”
He frowns as he finishes the wrapping for the piece he was working on; a bracelet, apparently. The wires are snipped and pressed against the base to make sure they don’t poke out. The bracelet is set aside and the excess materials put away. “I don’t interact much with Techno either–Dad and Theo are more the ones who talk to him. He and Theo are both nerds about mythology. Sure, we got our names from Greek myth, but they both can and will rant about it for hours. Usually to someone they dragged into their argument about it.”
There’s another wait as he pulls out what he needs for another project. The carefully sketched design with notes scribbled along the sides is repeatedly referenced as he starts pulling things out. This one seems far more complicated than the last one; a large, intricate collar necklace with a motif of wings wrapped around the throat.
He starts talking while still pulling things out. “Phil is–sort of complicated for a lot of reasons. He’s…Darkza wasn’t ever part of my family. Not really.” If he told himself that enough times, he might even believe it. There were days that he could feel the emptiness that he had left in his wake, in his twisted form of affection that was warped by a first life he shouldn’t have remembered at all. “It’s easier than you’d think to remember that Darkza and Phil aren’t the same person. Phil has…at least a little warmth to him. He’s nice, even if I dislike him for different reasons.”
With a sigh he sits down and starts to shift things around to where they’ll be easiest to grab when he needs them. There’s a sense of it being a bit like a ritual for him. “Tommy deserved a better dad growing up. For all that things were messed up in ways that he says sound worse for me…? At least I knew my family was there for me. He…didn’t have that. He had Wilbur, and then Wilbur left. He did that willingly, and Dee didn’t. He left out a stupid, self sacrificial attempt to protect the rest of us. So–I’ll amend what I said about Wilbur. He was an awful brother, even if he’s trying to be better now. He hurt Tommy, and Tommy didn’t have anyone but Tubbo to have his back any more.”
The first signs of anger show as he speaks, a scowl forming. It fades a little as he starts working, though the silence seems shorter this time. “Outside of my family and Quiz, Tommy is my closest friend. He understands in a way that’s hard to really explain. I know he feels the same way. I knew we’d both get along when one of the first things he did when we first met–back when I didn’t even know that Dad used to be the Dream from here–was help me through a panic attack and then offered to listen. He said he got it, and it was–it was hard to believe. He does, though, and has the whole time. That, and he also got why I couldn’t really talk to anyone else about it. It was always…” he trails off, taking a deep breath.
“My brothers are all really strong. They’re strong in ways I still don’t know if I can ever be. I never disagreed with Dee giving Orph the presidency, because I would have folded like a wet piece of paper in an instant. I’m not as fast to pick up on situations as Theo, and Dee is just…Dee is scary with redstone. He once figured out how to raise and lower his bedroom wall without any of us realizing he was doing that. He was still a teenager then, too. And Dad? Dad was always invincible. I know he’s not, now. It’s hard to keep that image of him after seeing how he gets sometimes. He takes some worlds really, really badly. There have been some that he needs all of us nearby for a few days afterwards. There have been times that he goes unresponsive, which is…scary. It’s terrifying to think that he’s been that small and scared before, and he did that while hiding it from all of us.”
A shaky exhale is let out as he tries not to think too hard about those times. “But, uh…my point was that in my eyes they were, and sort of still are, stronger than me. So the idea of admitting to them that I almost gave up was unthinkable. Tommy had been there too, though, so it was…easier, I guess, to tell him. It was…the talk I had with him when I first visited here was really big for me. He was still stronger than me, because–Quiz stopped me. Tommy, though, didn’t have anyone there, didn’t even believe his own brother wouldn’t throw him back out at best. He still decided that he would keep going despite believing he had nobody. For all that he’s jealous of me in some ways, I can’t help but admire him a lot. Even if I didn’t like going through most of it, I’m glad my world and everything I went through led to this place existing like it does now. He deserves the family he has now, he deserves his success, and he deserves to be happy.”
His smile is a little wry. “Dad probably rubbed off on all of us a little too much in the self sacrificial idiot department, if you couldn’t tell.”
The last silence is longer than any of the others as he works and tries to sort out his thoughts about Dream. It’s not easy–nothing related to him is.
“...Dream isn’t Darkza. He’s not Dad, either. He’s a milder version of both of them, and it’s still…it still hits me that one of my best friends was at the worst place of his entire life because of Dad. Yeah, he redeemed himself, but it’s…not much easier to really accept. I’ve talked to him–to Dad and Tommy both–about that, and…I don’t want to keep reminding Dad of that. He’s better. That, and Dream is…he’s trying, too. In his own, very stubborn way. That’s another way that I think Tommy is stronger than me; I wouldn’t be able to forgive Darkza. Or, maybe not forgive, but interact with him like Tommy does with Dream. It’s not even that Dream takes it poorly, any of it–though he does mutter about wanting TnT again sometimes–it’s more that…I don’t really know. Nothing related to Dad, Dream, and what they did when they were the same person is easy to think about. It’s all so messy.” He gives a halfhearted smile and gestures absently at the tidy, organized workroom.
“And I dunno if you can tell,” he says, making at least an attempt at humor, “I don’t really like messes.”
#Asked&Answered#WasTakenAnarchy#JewlerAtlas#he's got a lot of feelings#and he doesn't know how to feel about those feelings#none of you can imagine how hard it was to not go into more detail about his work#listen I make/made jewelry for as long as I've been writing#and I have at least SOME idea of wirework#as opposed to working with molten metal#which I don't trust myself with AT ALL bc shaky hands#anyway I saw someone say 'Atlas should do jewelry to mirror Tommy and sewing' and I proceeded to lose my fucking mind with that#and I've yet to stop#the jewelry docs are SO MUCH#long post#ChronoTag
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Hey, I'm sorry about the other asker! That was awfully fuckin rude of them. Anyway, I was wondering - what's your favourite other world you've visited so far? This is directed at all three of you, I'm curious!
It’s clear some time has passed, even if it hasn’t been much; a few hours, at most. Vio has left the location he was previously in–the house shared by Day, Theo, and Lee–and is instead talking with Tommy Prime.
Said former teen is clearly older and sports a slightly different look–namely, his baseball tee had been exchanged for a similarly patterned, quilted leather jacket, as well as a simple white polo shirt with red poppies embroidered on it. His dramatic netherite ear cuff is similarly poppy-themed, though in white rather than red.
Vio pauses mid-sentence, head tilting to the side slightly. Tommy’s eyes sharpen and he straightens up in his seat. The split black and white doctor’s coat he was working on is set aside as he turns his full attention to the alien. “The whatever the fuck you three have to listen to spoke again?”
The question is met with a nod. “There are multiple ones, evidently. That, or it’s an attempt to deflect attention. They want to know what our favorite world is.” Tommy grins a little. “Wasn’t asked, but I’ll answer anyway. Opinionated Ranboo world. Capitalist Tommy is pog as fuck. He and I have an…arrangement.”
While it’s said very ominously, it only makes Vio snort with laughter. Tommy looks a little offended, protesting, “Hey! We do!” “You have plenty of better ways to underscore your power; you don’t need to imply some sort of supervillain scheme with your alternate self. He’s referring to the deal he helped make for the likenesses of the blobs. He and his team make them and Capitalist Tommy sells them in his universe. Who thought a cookie trade deal would ever be so profitable?”
Tommy huffs a little. “I wasn’t implying supervillainy. That’s your thing, not-dad.” It’s clear that Vio’s response is automatic, based on how quickly it comes. “I’m still not your dad.” Tommy’s reply is just as automatic. “S’ what I said; not-dad. You’re not our dad ‘cause you didn’t adopt me, Bee, n’ Boo and didn’t cry when we gave you the ear cuff that you always get fuckin’ sappy over. Scared the fuck out of us with that, too–thought you’d fuckin’ broke or some shit.”
Vio rolls his eyes, hands going into the pockets of his heavily embroidered, bright purple lab coat. Despite the performative annoyance, it’s clear that he likes the dynamic he has with his not-son. “You won the bet you three rigged for that, so I fail to see how that wasn’t a net win.” Tommy grins at him. “Never fuckin’ said it wasn’t. Was also great to see you realize what day it was. Dumbass kept getting called our not-dad and still didn’t think to mark when Father's Day was so he could spend it in hiding. S’ his own fault, really. We can’t be held responsible for our actions.”
“You absolutely can and will. You already have too much power; if you keep calling me your dad, eventually I’ll take that to its logical conclusion and ground you.” Vio’s light threat is met by a loud bark of laughter from Tommy. “Yeah, but then you’d have to cave about the fuckin’ joke. We all know you’d never do that. Too fuckin’ stubborn, too big of a hero complex.”
Before Vio can protest further, Tommy waves his hand a little. “Answer the question, big man. Let’s not find out what happens if you don’t answer in the middle of my fuckin’ workroom, yeah? Control for that shit if you're gonna fuckin' experiment.”
Vio glares, though there’s no heat to it. “My favorite world is likely the cat world. The results of Dream Prime adopting seven cats have been surprisingly profound.” Tommy snickers a little and comments, “Mostly ‘cause he keeps learning shit about them in the middle of doing stuff and gets so mad. It’s the best fuckin’ thing, seeing someone mention the cats around him and he suddenly gets this fuckin’--his expression every fuckin’ time! It’s the best. Only thing better is that his fuckin’ info source is the world themselves and they adore the cats. S’ why he keeps learning shit belatedly; the world keeps showing him stuff the cats did. Oh, and they keep letting chickens loose in the cat zoomies track. There's fuckin' footage of him arguing with the world over it! The best part is you can tell he didn't fuckin win; had to settle for a compromise.”
There’s a pause before he adds, “If you had told me that I’d ever see Dream with eight fuckin’ cats and as one of my many war criminal brother figures, I’d have killed you. But, well…turns out he’s surprisingly tolerable now. Asshole just needed to chill the fuck out–literally.” Vio makes a noise of agreement. “Living in the tundra does seem to suit him…no matter how much I hate the cold. Fucking snow, it’s the worst–” He seems to be far more offended at the idea of snow than anything else mentioned so far.
Tommy rolls his eyes and picks the lab coat back up, starting to work on the intricate embroidery across the back. It's easy to tune out the ensuing rant about snow and cold; it's actually sort of comforting, if Tommy was being honest. Even when he gets in the zone, a part of him still hears that grumbling and is soothed.
Maybe it's a little childish that he breathes a little easier with Vio around, or when he can see all of his family in one spot. Sometimes he wonders if maybe he's not a full blooded human, because there are times when his brain and blood and the very marrow of his bones demands that he be able to see his family--which felt too small a word to encompass how he felt; his flock, his herd, his sounder,, maybe even his heart if was feeling sappy--all in one place and protect them, defend them and make sure none of them could be hurt.
He's still grappling with how strongly he sometimes feels that drive. The others understand, though, and when it gets too bad they all pile into a well-lit, well-stocked, and surprisingly comfortable bunker under Vio’s house.
Hero often joins them. The silent show of support from the very eldritch not-dog who watched them with a far more intelligent gaze than a dog really should have was another weirdly comforting thing.
Tommy also wondered if maybe, just maybe, he was slowly eroding layers of his humanity--in the flesh and blood sense, not the morality one--simply by spending so much time with Vio and Hero. Then he would wonder if it was a little messed up that some part of him lit up with joy at the idea that his connection with Vio might be slowly seeping into his skin and bones. It feels natural, almost, that he have some manifestation of their bond--not unlike the Was-Taken family's wings.
He could also just finally be able to listen to long-burried hybrid instincts. It was hard to tell.
Thoughts drifted by as the rant shifted to narration. Vio knew about Tommy feeling soothed by the stream of background noise, so when he had free time he often spent it in here. He'd get a digital book on whatever piqued his interest (another reason to be thankful for multiverse travel; they all could get a previously unfathomable range of media and entertainment) and just...sit on the couch and read it out loud.
Affection for the weird, hooved, weird skin texture having alien burst through his heart. Vio might object to the title, but in all the ways that mattered he was Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo Prime’s dad. They all were aware of that much, at least.
It was why he had never really attempted to go back to Phil. He had been too absent twice over, and Tommy didn't trust that giving him a third shot would be anything but a mistake.
No; he had his current family, made up of those who he loved so much. They were his brothers in all but blood, the bonds he had chosen for himself. While he wasn't biologically rated to Phil, Techno, and Wil...the phrase 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb' resonated with him.
Family by choice, not by blood. That wasn't near enough to describe his feelings towards them, but it was a start.
============
Elsewhere, the Was-Taken family are loosely grouped together in the arena. Most of the brothers are in the stands, save for Daedalus, Orpheus, and Achilles. Day is perched on a nearby rock formation, carefully observing them. Evidently, Dee and Orph are helping the youngest of the family with learning the nuances of wielding dual daggers.
There are also more than a few additional people–mostly Tommys and Dreams, and nearly all of whom are heavily scarred–lingering nearby with a very watchful eye. They all have identical ear cuffs that only differ in that they either have a small sword or a shield charm dangling from them.
Day and Theo both straightening a little makes the family all pause in their training or conversations, respectively. The rest of them seem to immediately understand what’s going on, though all are curious.
Neither group is far enough away that conversation can’t easily be carried between them. Daedalus asks, “Got a question, Dad? I thought Theo and Vio were fielding those.” Day shrugs, looking thoughtful. “Maybe there’s a time limit for that. It’s not a bad one, at least; just asking what our favorite worlds are.”
Theo nods. “Same here. S’ kind of a hard question though; who could pick a single favorite? I know Dad’s answer ‘cause he’s a sappy, predictable bastard–” Day grins, looking a little smug as he cuts in, “Ah, but earlier you said my favorite was Opinionated Ranboo’s world. Has your position changed that quickly?”
Multiple deadpan stares meet that answer. “Your favorites are definitely the worlds you met Lee and me in. There’s no way they aren’t. You’re too much of a sucker for all of us.” Perce’s answer is met with a little laugh from his dad. “Yeah, you’re right. As far as non-son worlds, though…hmm. Probably the loop world we brought the two heads of the Prank Guild back from. It’s hard not to be charmed by them and their love of moderate chaos. That, and the wonder that is glitter TnT.”
Atlas points out, “Only because you’ve never had to deal with the cleanup. I hear a lot of complaints about that.” Day’s grin only grows. “Naturally. Nobody really wants to risk spooking anyone new, nor in earning the seven of us–and likely the Swords and Shields–starting a prank war. We’ve proven to be more than willing to hit back harder and faster than anyone else.”
The smallest member of the family has an identical grin, wings ruffling proudly at his back. “I want to do a prank war.” Day quickly shakes his head, giving a pointed look at most of the small clusters of watching guardians. “No. Not unless you get targeted first, Achilles. And if you do, you can’t get help from the Swords and Shields. I can and will ground you.”
That makes the child–who seems to be roughly around ten or so–scowl unhappily. “Fun police.” Dee quickly agrees, “He is! He’s the fucking worst! I wasn’t allowed to start a bee cult or bring over the other one!”
Day rolls his eyes at the familiar complaint. “Daedalus, your amusement isn’t worth everyone else’s sanity.” “Mmm…agree to disagree,” his second eldest says, shrugging with a little grin. “It’s really fuckn’ not,” Theo mutters. Dee flips him off, staring at him as if daring him to continue.
Theo opens his mouth to do just that. Day quickly interjects, “Answer the question, Theo.” His eldest huffs unhappily, but seems to be considering the question. He finally answers, “Dunno what my favorite is; have a few that I like the most, though. Dream teaming up with Tommy instead of Wilbur in Pogtopia was a real fuckin’ good one–Dream Prime looked like he wanted to fuckin’ die when he got shown that Dream saying that Tommy was like a brother to him. Oh, then there was the version where Prince Tommy managed to get a fuckin’ assassin army through being charming n’ fuckin’ oblivious–and because that Dream is even more oblivious. Feel bad for their Tubbo n’ Ranboo, though. And who could forget Tommy getting Mothman as a bodyguard? Fuckin’ amazing, and entirely deserved. Then the one where everyone filled in for Tommy, usually not even bothering to try to hide that, during–” He cuts himself off, glancing over at Atlas for a moment. The very human-appearing version of Techno sighs. “I can handle you mentioning Exile, Theo. I’m not that delicate.”
The eldest brother frowns a little, but nods. “Yeah, during Exile.” Perce blinks a few times. “...Are all your favorites just ones where the Dream gets dunked on, or can otherwise be used to mock Dream Prime?” “Obviously. Fucker deserves it.” Something dark flashes in the warrior’s eyes, though it’s gone as quickly as it arrived. Perce laughs, raising a hand for a high five. He says, as Theo returns the gesture, “Hell yeah he does!”
Orpheus, who thus far has been quiet, decides to speak up. “Well, as interesting as that was, we probably should–”
He stops short, and all seven family members look between each other. Atlas furrows his brow and looks to the eldest brother. “Is that what the Fates are like?”
Theo scoffs. “Only a little. The Fates are way more pog, and there are so many more of them–” “And they like me a lot more,” Day says, grinning at the glare he gets. “Don’t encourage them.” “Don’t be mean to the voices in your head, Theo. They’re very nice,” his Dad teases back.
Lee interjects before it can devolve into another bout of bickering, though. “My Dad n’ brothers are the best. S’ why I don’t want to get big again too fast; I don’t wanna risk remembering being evil and going back to being like that. They’d be sad if I had to die ‘cause of it.”
It’s said completely and utterly matter of factly, as if every word of it is just the truth. Day looks stricken, starting to say something, but Lee cuts him off again. “That, n’ I get to learn so much like this. My brain can pick up on stuff better as a kid! I get to learn from a ton of people who are really, really good at the stuff they do, but I get to learn it without life or death stakes. Oh, and I’m less threatening like this, so I can make more people feel safe when they first get here. I’m, uh…how did it get put…” He snaps his fingers, eyes lighting up. “I’m a tiny beacon of hope n’ healing! And a source of bandaids, which are better than stickers. I will not be budged on that.”
Day looks utterly fond as he says, “You’re a tiny menace.” Lee stows his daggers and uses his wings to help him scramble onto the rock his dad is on, hugging him. Day immediately hugs him back. “Yup! I learned from the best.”
Theo barks out a loud laugh. “Hah! He’s fuckin’ got us, there! Lee is the best tiny brother, by the way–none of the rest compare.” He gets a shove, a kick, and an elbow from various brothers for that, though none of them are very forceful. Entirely unrepentant he says, “He is, though! Look at him; tiny baby brother. I would die for him–”
“Deal with your emotions in a healthy way, Theo! We’ve talked about this; stop saying you’ll die for him!” Day’s interjection is met by Theo flipping him off. “Fuck you! He’s worth it!” Lee shifts so he’s sitting beside his dad, and glares at him. “If you die I’ll cry forever, Theo! I’ll die of dehydration! You wanna murder me, huh? Gonna kill me from grief?!”
“That’s not fair, I don’t–” He gets cut off once more by the youngest of the family, who sounds exasperated in a very similar way to how Day had been. “Then don’t say you’ll die for me, dumbass! You’re supposed to be smart! Not the smartest–that goes to Dee–” The brother in question perks up a little at the compliment, even if the return to the idea of Lee’s death makes him visibly unhappy, “--or the cleverest and fastest, which goes to Perce. But, you know, generally smart.”
Theo scowls, slumping a little in his seat. “...Fine, no dying. None of die, ever. Happy?” Lee grins back, triumphant. “Yup!” Though worry still lines his eyes, Day rests a hand lightly between Lee’s wings. “You might as well mention what the rest of them are best at.”
Lee perks up at the suggestion, grinning. “Right! Attie is the most creative, ‘cause he does our jewelry, n’ Orph is the best with music n’ wood carving–he made my crossbow!” A crossbow, notably smaller than most and far more ornate, is produced from his inventory. “He’s so good with this stuff, just like Dee is great with weapons n’ armor–n’, again, Attie does all our jewelry, n’ he’s so fast with it, too! It’s so cool to see him just–speedrun through something new! Oh, and Theo…Theo is the coolest. I want to be able to beat up anyone who tries to hurt everyone I care about like he can! I can’t wait until I’m old enough to really keep up with him in spars–right now I don’t have the muscle memory to really do it.”
All of them are smiling, especially Theo. He’s visibly cheered up at the compliment, wings ruffling proudly. Orpheus points out, “You forgot Dad.” Lee blinks at him, and frowns a little in thought. “Dad is…I dunno. S’ hard to put everything he can do into words. He’s just…the best, period. Pretty sure he’s not bad at anything.”
If his other sons had been happy, Day is damn near glowing with happiness and pride. “I have plenty of things I’m bad at. But I hope you remember that I’m apparently the best, period, next time you get in trouble for something.” He pulls his youngest into another hug, his wing wrapping around him as well.
Lee sticks his tongue out at him, though is obviously happy that he’s happy. “I won’t,” he promises cheerfully, earning several snorts of laughter from both his brothers and the Swords and Shields.
“I mean–Theo said it. Best baby brother,” Perce says with a little shrug. “Yup. He’s going to be so fucking scary when he’s really got fighting down,” Dee adds, tossing one of his daggers in the air and catching it idly. Theo grins, visibly excited at the current topic. “Fuck yeah–tiny assassin brother, making his own potions n’ poisons n’ shit–”
The comments make Lee beam. “Anyone who thinks I’m the weak link is very, very wrong. I got my name because even before they really knew me, my family knew I’d be important to them. But that doesn’t mean I won’t learn how to protect myself and protect everyone else. This is my home, these are my people. If anything or anyone gets in here..? They won’t use me to hurt any of them. Not now, not ever.”
Day can’t help but look proud of that, even if the idea of someone threatening him clearly makes him unhappy. “And that’s why, despite the small army and us at your back, you still get taught so many random skills. Hopefully they won’t ever be needed, but…I feel better with you learning as much as you can.” He smiles, then gives a pointed look at a few of the nearby members of said army. “And that’s why he needs to stop being helped during survival training; I don’t care if it makes you sad that he looks bored, or it’s extremely unlikely that he’ll ever need to use it.”
Several of them look guilty, though most of them don’t so much as bat an eye at the rebuke. This is evidently a familiar argument, given the long-suffering sigh that Day has. “As for how I feel about him…? Lee is my son. He’s more precious than any treasure, more important than anything else. All of my sons are. They’re my heart, my soul, and my reason to keep going. They’re everything to me.”
Orpheus and Atlas look at each other, and the former shrugs a bit. “I can’t really top that, no matter how often I’m betrayed by this mockery of a family–” With a roll of his eyes Day tells him, “Not getting the last bag of tea or being ribbed by your brothers isn’t betrayal, no matter how many dramatic speeches you give!”
He gets a glare for his troubles, and a solemn, “This is what I mean! You’re stifling my creative freedom, and you deserve to be put in a corner for it! I stay for Achilles and Achilles alone. My only true brother, the sole member of this wretched hive of scum and villainy–” “Stop being jealous about everyone but you and Atlas being war criminals, Orpheus! It’s not a thing to be proud of!”
The glare only intensifies. Day removes his arm from around Lee, who looks pleased at being singled out as the only good member of the family, to start gesturing with it. “It’s not my fault you and Atlas both decided not to do any!” “This is a cruel, merciless farce that has the sheer fucking gall to call itself a family, with the sole exception of my tiny, precious brother–”
Atlas sighs, leaning back against the seat behind him. “Achilles,” he says, as his dad and twin bicker, “is important. He’s…he doesn’t have to deal with anything the rest of us did, at least firsthand. It’s why we’re all so protective of him. There’s a lot of stuff he deals with that most adults can barely grasp. It’s almost unheard of that he doesn’t make a point to go talk with anyone new that ends up here because they don’t get here if things went well for them, and he wants to make sure they’re okay. He cares, and he cares a lot. We’d be idiots if we didn’t care just as much about him in turn.”
His brothers give signs of agreement, though they’re more focused on Orpheus’ entertaining and deeply dramatic speech-slash-rant. “That’s a good way to put it. Lee cares, so we care back. The backbone and strength of our family is love. Dad might not be related to us by blood–well, not in the usual sense, at least–but…it’s hard to argue that he doesn’t care,” Perce adds, shrugging a little. “He saw that I was upset about my mom being…well, evil, and asked me if I wanted to be a part of his family. I could tell within five words of meeting him and Theo that they were everything I ever dreamed of being a part of. I said yes, obviously.”
Theo grins, nudging him with his leg and getting nudged back in turn. Perce continues, “I’ve never regretted it, even after I moved here. I still talk to my friends, still visit them sometimes. But this is…I’m really happy here. I get siblings who laugh and tease and sometimes stab each other, I get a dad who is damn near a hero in my eyes, I just…have more than I could have dared to hope for. Lee is that happiness personified. Dad keeps getting yelled at for it, but I can’t really…disagree with him, that all of them are worth going back into the Vault for. I would take every fucking second of that place if it kept them safe.”
The smiles the others have all drop in an instant. Day notices as well, eyes narrowing at the concerned on their faces. “Perseus, what did you say?” “Nothing! And if anyone says otherwise, they’re all liars who shouldn’t tattle like assholes!”
It’s very obvious that Day doesn’t believe that for even a fraction of a second, his attention shifting slightly to stare at the others. The one to immediately break is Theo, of course. “He needs to get fuckin’ yelled at for saying he’d go back in the Vault for us!”
Day’s wings fluff up in outrage and he points a finger at the second youngest. “Perseus Dream Flint Was-Taken, you KNOW that’s not okay–” His scolding is interrupted by a protest from the son in question. “You say it too! You don’t get to be a fucking hypocrite, Dad!” “Yes I do! That’s what I swore when I adopted each and every one of you, and I will not have the idea of you going back there even be an option!”
A stubborn, mulish glare meets that statement. Day’s eyes narrow, and then he hops down from his perch to go into the stands. “Alright, nope, training on hold while Perce gets dragged to a surprise therapy appointment.” The young adult in question groans. “Dad, it’s not that–” “It very much fucking is, actually! Until you get it through your thick fucking skull that none of you will ever set foot in there as a prisoner–until that is understood, you will keep getting dragged to therapy every time you make statements like that. They’re important, yes, but so are you.”
The glare softens, and is replaced by guilt. Day leans down, gently cupping Perce's in his hands while he presses their forehead together. “You matter. You’re my son and have been from the second you agreed to be a part of this family. You are worth more than a hundred thousand worlds who tell me stories without words and send packs of wild wolves to calm me down when I get upset. Nothing is worth you suffering. Okay?”
Any remaining fight left evaporates from Perce, who shifts so he can press his face into Day’s shoulder while he hugs him. “...Okay,” he says, voice oddly small. His wings are likewise tucked pulled against his back, like he's trying to either shrink down or burrow into the comfort he's being given.
His brothers all rest a hand on him or lean against him in a show of support. “Don’t threaten my second-babiest brother,” Theo says, a gentleness to his tone that usually isn’t present. “He’s very pog, and I’d be pissed if he was put through that again.”
Sometimes it was easy to forget that Theo knew what happened in the Vault. He rarely spoke about it, only vague allusions or implications…but he had still had to witness it, same as exile, same as everything else. He had a depth of understanding that was only outmatched by his Dad.
Perce laughs a little, not even looking as he lightly shoves him. “Fuck off, asshole.” “Nah. You’d miss me if I did that,” Theo teases him. Day lets his son escape the hug, watching as the two of them start bickering. It doesn’t take long for them to drag everyone else into it, Day included.
#Asked&Answered#DayDreamer#DoctorViolet#ChaoticTheseus#WasTakenAnarchy#NotFamily#oh my god this got so long#I cut it down and it got long again#listen the was-taken fam are so much fun to write together#I love them#they're all willing to stab but also willing to die re:each other#it's a bunch of idiots arguing about who gets to be the most self-sacrificial one#spoilers it's always Day#ChronoTag#TailorAver#EngineerDaedalus#MusicalOrpheus#JewlerAtlas#CleverPerseus#PoisonousAchilles
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