Warning: Violence, spoilers
Title: HandClap
Editor: 3StarsAmV
Song: HandClap
Artist: Fitz and the Tantrums
Anime: Tokyo Ghoul, Jujutsu Kaisen, Shingeki no Kyojin, Kimetsu no Yaiba, Boku no Hero Academia, Fire Force, One Punch Man, Fate/Stay Night: Heaven's Feel 3 (film), Bungou Stray Dogs, Kakegurui, Owari no Seraph, Mob Psycho 100, Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress, Fate/Stay Night: Heaven's Feel 1 (film), Fate/Zero, Hell's Paradise, Megalo Box, Kara no Kyoukai Movie: Mirai Fukuin, Vinland Saga, Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress: The Battle of Unato (film), Fate/Stay Night: Heaven's Feel 2 (film), Rurouni Kenshin, Highschool of the Dead, Kyoukai no Kanata, Kiznaiver, Violet Evergarden, NieR:Automata Ver1.1a, Undeath Unluck, Horimiya: Piece, Solo Leveling, Darling in the FranXX, Flip Flappers, Charlotte, Shikimori's Not Just a Cutie, Tower of God, Monogatari series, Spy X Family, Ninja Kamui, Dragon Ball series, My Dress-Up Darling, Hibike! Euphonium, Bleach, Yofukashi no Uta, Fate/Grand Order, Chainsaw Man, Nanatsu no Taizai, Black Clover, Princess Connect! Re:Dive, Dusk Maiden of Amnesia, Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Hyouka, Komi Can't Communicate, Blue Lock, Naruto, One Piece, Tales of Zestiria, DanMachi, Kaguya-sama: Love is War, To aru Kagaku no Railgun, Mirai Nikki, Magia Record, Takt.Op Destiny, No Guns Life, Dr. Stone, Re:Zero, Kimi no na wa (film)
Category: Action
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Minutes of me watching the, luckily, last episode of ToZX
Warning: lots of capslock, lots of cursing. I finally figured out how to put things under a cut, hooray! Beware of obvious spoilers for the game, the anime, AND Tales of Berseria ahead. It’s also a goddamn long post.
0:00: *has just made the bad mistake to eat a whole litre of vla. Very hyper, hands are shaking, tummy ache* Okay, Ufotable. DO YOUR WORST.
No opening? I can deal. Didn’t expect it anyway. No anime ever plays the opening in the last episode, right? I don’t like it, anyway.
0:20: Yes, I know, it’s Captain Planet, go ahead and do shit
0:30 I’m kinda disappointed that the Captain Planet theme isn’t actually playing
0:58: No, it looks plain silly. NO CAPES, DAMN IT
Btw are the girls just gonna stand there in the background for the entire episode?
1:20: Yeah, looks like Captain Planet mode sucks after all. Btw if I wasn’t still sick, I’d take a sip for Meebo shouting “Sorey!”
1:29: You’re saying that NOW, Lailah? And is Heldalf just gonna stand there and watch the whole time?
2:08: I want Sorey’s hair conditioner
2:30: I honestly can’t read my shaky sugar-induced and rage-fueled handwriting for that minute anymore, but the last words seem to suggest that I was bitching about Anime!Sorey being a Gary Stu. Speaking of shaky handwriting, most „2“ in this post might as well be a „1“ and vice versa, hard to tell
2:48: NO, SOREY. YOU FUCKING CAN’T. WHO WROTE HIM SUDDENLY BEING ABLE TO DO THINGS THAT THE ENTIRE GAME IS MAKING HIM LEARN THAT HE CAN’T. And I can’t even do English anymore
2:57: Yay the good songs are back
I also wanna use these nifty rainbow magic dual element spells
3:37: …You still can’t, you know
3:47: Okay girls, I see you’re bored and wanna do something, BUT YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO, OK? YOU SHOULDN’T EVEN BE HERE. NOBODY SHOULD BE IN THAT FRIGGIN’ VOLCANO ACTUALLY
3:56: Hi Dezel!
4:00: I’m touched that Dezel opted to ship RosAli and has given the girls his blessing
4:10: Sorey, if the Gay Pride Armatus is that exhausting to use, I’d suggest you stop wasting your breath with cheesy speeches
4:38: DAT’S SOME BFS
DAT’S THE BUSTER SWORD OF GAY PRIDE
4:44: At least they somehow… reshaped that sweet sequence from the original game’s opening animation where Sorey and all Seraphim unanimously punch Heldalf. Okay, this is a sweet but sorry attempt at a decent battle scene.
5:03: WTF FUCKING WHY I JUST – *inhales deeply* Heldalf, you’re fucking doing it wrong, Velvet would be disappointed with you
5:28: That’s some ugly CGI malevolence
5:55: EVEN IN THE MANGA THEY HAD FIGURED OUT BEFORE THE FINAL BATTLE THAT THE LAND AND LA– MAOTELUS ARE CORRUPTED, AND THAT THING HAS ONLY 19 CHAPTERS! HOW HARD CAN IT BE!? BTW YOU’D KNOW IF YOU HAD EVER BOTHERED TO TALK TO MUSE YOU BASTARDS
6:30: What was the Gay Pride Armatus even good for? LAP–– I MEAN MAOTELUS, PLEASE INTERVENE, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB AS GOD
8:00: SEAL? JUST KILL YOU DUMB IDIOT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
8:10: Oh no Meebo, please don’t cry OH SHIT NO IF THAT’S NOT THE LOOK OF A BROKEN HEART THEN IT’S ON MY FACE RIGHT NOW
8:20: ARGLBLARGL NO NO NO DON’T PLAY JOURNEY’S END IN THE BACKGROUND, OH GOD WHY DOESN’T SOMEBODY (=Sorey. Or Maotelus with a Deus Ex Machina move, come on, I’ve been so waiting for it) FINALLY END MEEBO’S SUFFERING
8:40 OH MAN ANIME!SOREY FOR WORST BOYFRIEND EVER
9:03: IT’S GONNA BE THE PURPLE PROSE AU
9:14: *hands over tissues and chocolate* Meebo, you know, this whole show doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, anyway, so there’s absolutely no need for Sorey to pull through with this heroic sacrifice but kinda not at all shit thing
9:20: SOMEONE GIVE THAT POOR BOY A HUG FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
9:24: I doubt he’s listening right now, Sorey, and you really deserve a punch or two
10:34: WHERE WAS THAT DREAM THE LAST FUCKING 24 EPISODES!!!!!!!!?????????????
10:40: I’D TAKE A SIP IF I WASN’T STILL SICK AND SOBBING
10:59: Yeah, Alisha, I’m glad you’re still alive, too. Who even suggested that squire-killing risk in the first place
11:09: HI CUTIE-PIE! Okay I admit it, part of me who was already used to being spoilered just wanted to see cute baby Laphi turning back his adorable seraph self. Screw this
BTW SHOULDN’T YOU KINDA BE DOWN THERE WITH SOREY, WHICH WAS THE 1000% BETTER CONNECTION TO THE BERSERIA PLOT!????
11:22: I don’t think he hears you, sweetie
11:49: Are you gonna give me nothing but scenery porn for the remaining 10 minutes!?
12:55: Oh no, you didn’t fucking make the last in the line to the throne –
12:57: OH MY GOD NO YOU DID
13:05: That dress is disappointingly boring
14:57: What the fuck is written on that stone?
15:07: How many shepherds has Anime!Lailah destroyed?
15:25: …so, did they kill Eizen?
16:00: ZAVEID, YOU’RE EXCLUSIVELY HANGING OUT WITH OTHER SERAPHIM, AND YOU TRIED TO KILL SOREY THREE TIMES IN A ROW, HOW ARE YOU AN EXAMPLE OF INTERCULTURAL MEDIATION Oh wait actually Anime!Zaveid has never tried to kill Sorey. Well, anyway.
16:03: …Yeah, Eizen is what? Apart from, STILL A DRAGON AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, STILL CURSED!?
16:25: Ride a dragon, Edna
16:40: …It was too much to ask, I guess. Dammit.
16:57: Oh hello long-haired Rose. How did it get that long, she doesn’t even look a single day older
AND WHERE IS YOUR SHEPHERD’S CLOAK, BITCH!?
You also look like a Pokémon trainer. Or like a female Luke. Definitely female Luke
17:43: Lesbians doing a cooking course together. How does that fit your schedule, QUEEN ALISHA?
18:02: HAROLD, THEY’RE LESBIANS
19:07: PURPLE PROSE AU IS REAL
19:55: They are so fucking married I can’t believe my eyes
20:18: Well… about that…
20:20: YEAH ASK MEEBO, EXCEPT SOMEBODY DECIDED TO CUT THAT PART OF PLOT AND WORLDBUILDING COMPLETELY OUT OF THE STORY
20:32: *CHOKED SCREAMING*
Btw is there a specific reason why the nameless kids look like Sorey’s and Mikleo’s human love children? Except hurting me on a deep emotional level?
20:41: THAT’S AN UNDERSTATEMENT AND YOU KNOW THAT, TSUNLEO
21:18: Hey wait, they can still do the telepathy crap? Why? And how is the pact still in place?
21:23: ARRRRHHHHHH WHY DO YOU BREAK MY HEART, ALL I WANTED WAS SERAPH SOREY
21:40: R3V#1GU) +B8ß23pkcf +ierq0ßcple2ßîdo^# jncoäejvcreoL
*AGGRESSIVELY SMASHES KEYBOARD*
21:52: …Dammit. *adapts “adult Meebo is still shorter than Sorey” headcanon to “adult Meebo is the same height as Sorey until he starts growing too, until they arrive at the same height difference again* Then again, this is a stupid canon divergent AU, anyway, right?
21:58: FOR FUCKING REAL!?
22:05: Good idea, ask Gramps for all the missing things from the plot. The adaptation spared him, after all
22:15: Part of me is relieved, part of me is very upset
22:43: Why can you still do this? BTW WAY TO CHEAT ON A RACE
23:00: When did you two learn to fly?
AND WHERE THE FUCK IS MAOTELUS? WHO CARES ABOUT HELDALF, WHO SHOULD BE FUCKING DEAD? I WANT MY SWEET BABY BACK
23:06: What… or where is that?
23:17: THAT’S FRIGGIN’ NORMAL BIRDS, SOREY
And did you just fly out of Glenwood to Tethe’alla, because I don’t recognize that view
WHAT A RIDE
Hands still shaky, still sick, fucking offended
PLEASE END MY LIFE
(no reaction scribbles this time, at least not immediately. Except Sorey and Mikleo should totally adopt their mini selves. AND LAPHI.)
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