WHAT DO YOU MEAN GOD WAS PLAYED BY JACQUELINE KING

Mario Thread Opinions

I saw something making rounds on Twitter featuring Mario characters, so, I wanted to respond to that, but without flooding the timeline.

So, I’ll put them here instead! ...And I’ll try to keep thoughts short...

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Original Tweeted Characters

Mario: He’s such a cheerful and happy protagonist! I don’t get why people ever have strong dislikes for him. He’s full of energy and normally kindness. Maybe they think that’s bland, but I’ve been following Mario’s journeys since I was very young, so he’ll always be a great protagonist for me.

Toadette: She’s so energetic and sweet! She’s come such a long way since her debut from Mario Kart: Double Dash, and currently, Toadette seems to be a regular mainstay for the franchise. You’re doing amazing, sweetie! Keep going!

Dry Bones: One of the cutest zombies and/or reanimated dead characters that I can think of. While a tricky enemy to handle, I still enjoy seeing them. Plus, they’re welcome additions to spin-off games like almost always!

Shy Guy: The beeeeest! Shy Guy is the cutest little enemy, and I love how they get included into various roles as either friend or foe. I think I’m always happy to see Shy Guy around in some way!

Pink Gold Peach: Peach deserves a cool power-up form! While I wish she had it outside of spin-off titles, I think it’s a cute concept regardless. (Though, I get the disappointment when she shows up.) People mention “rose gold” as a title instead, and I think I agree with that, but also, alliteration.

Peachette: (deep, heavy sigh) You could have been so fun conceptually...the potential for future uses that could be dramatic with bait-and-switches for Peach. But...marred by Internet memes...also, not a fan that Toadette gets replaced on-screen by Peach in the first place, so, yeah.

King Boo: This dude has so many change-ups in how he appears. I kind of love him as both a Mario enemy and a Luigi’s Mansion main boss. He makes a good adversary for Luigi, so, I hope he sticks around to spook the cast! Love his laugh too, lol.

Daisy: She deserves so much love and attention, and I don’t understand why the developers at Nintendo have kept her locked behind spin-off titles for so long. I feel like that could change going forward, so I’m hoping that she becomes even more awesome and help save the day in future adventures!

Peach: Arguably the most iconic damsel in modern media, though I wish we could let her evolve past that. Peach is strong in her own right, so let’s see her headline a franchise and save the day herself! She doesn’t get opportunity to do that enough. She can be more than just Mario’s plot device. Anyway, she’s great, and I wish she would get more respect from Nintendo. She could make the Disney princesses shudder if given the chance.

Yoshi: Quite possibly the cutest steed known to pop culture! He’s so sweet and precious, like, I feel as though no one can help but love Yoshi. Anytime he pops in and the moment immediately improves!

Luigi: As a younger sibling myself, I totally can relate to Luigi easily. He’s the best deuteragonist that Mario could ask for! His fans can sometimes be a little much, but I can understand the enthusiasm! Luigi’s a good boy. Nintendo should dunk on him less though; he’s proven well enough.

Hammer Bro: Bah, an enemy that always keeps me wary! Probably one of the biggest common enemies that is practically guaranteed to be at least a light challenge. As they appear in more spin-off games, I like their energy and excitement more. They’re fun dudes!

The Koopalings: No clue how they were kept dormant for so many years, because they provide so much flavor to the series! Then again, it’s painful to see any of them separated from one another, and including seven characters can be a challenge. Overall, I love them, and they make great opponents and even additions to rosters! Best generals, I think.

Kamek: I know that the name isn’t supposed to be significant, but he ended up being so. And I really wish we would get a version of Kamek that stands out from the other Magikoopa! His role seems too important to be neglected as often as it can be. Definitely the coolest standalone enemy on Bowser’s minion roster, and I hope they keep helping this one stand out more in the future!

Waluigi: He’s pretty funny, and he can sucker a few laughs out of me time and again. I think that he’s underrated by the Mario franchise itself, and that he should appear more often or join Wario for his franchise. His loudest fans are definitely a bit too rambunctious. Still, he’s been around for 20 years, and I do agree that he probably deserves better.

Rosalina: Definitely a cool character that I really hope we keep in rotation. She should be used for more than just spin-off shenanigans without question, so I hope that we see her more as time goes on. (She almost joined Odyssey in a cool appearance!) Anyway, I love her motherly and calm yet elegant nature, and the lore that she gave to Super Mario Galaxy as well. Luma princess!

Bowser: As Mario is one of my favorite protagonists, Bowser would be one of my favorite antagonists! Though, I do wish he’d get a break. He’s a fun character without always being evil. We should give other villains a chance to go crazy and let Bowser do something else, either helping Mario or just living life without being the big bad. He’s sometimes more interesting being just a dad above all else!

Piranha Plant: Plant gang rise up! Not going to lie, one of the most iconic Mario enemies to appear, and yet, I feel like they’ve been slept on until their recent inclusions in games as playable characters, most especially in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Great surprise trap enemies too. Overall, love these chompy dudes! ...Except when they chomp me, that is, ha!

Metal Mario: Probably one of Mario’s coolest power-up forms! He’s appeared in several spin-offs as a playable character, starting with Mario Golf for the N64, if I’m not mistaken. While I prefer him as a power-up, he’s a fun concept to see turn up every so often.

Whomp King: An iconic opponent in Super Mario 64, and one that I’m surprised to see turn up every so often! Yet, I’m also surprised that we don’t see him more often as well. It’s odd, but then again, Whomps can be underutilized. I like him though!

Wario: Greedy guy supreme! Wario is perhaps the grossest Mario character, but also one of the funniest. He’s usually a welcome addition to the rosters that he joins, so, I like to see him around too. His laugh is hilarious and definitely one of the more recognizable out there!

Dry Bowser: Bowser’s reanimated corpse! Originally a cool concept and perhaps even a surprising one! Since I like Dry Bones, I tend to like this dude, even when he’s not exactly Bowser himself sometimes, since that happens. Either way, cool and creepy, so totally a unique flavor!

Pom Pom: Honestly, not an addition that I ever expected, but totally welcomed alongside Boom Boom’s return to the franchise. I love her shuriken attacks and ninja theme, because I’m a sucker for that. And more female creature features are always welcome to roster! Not every lady needs to be a princess, after all.

King Bob-omb: I love him! He’s arguably my favorite boss from Super Mario 64, and I’m so happy that he’s been popping up more frequently. He’s finally playable for the first time in Mario Kart: Tour, so I hope he appears as such in future titles! His mustache deserves greatness!

Toad: I have literally always had a huge soft-spot for the Mushroom Kingdom citizens. Also, I feel like Toad should be recognized as an individual as much as Yoshi is! He’s cheerful, helpful, sweet, and usually so helpful! Plus, I totally crush it when I use him in Mario Kart, lol. One of my favorites as well, and I consider him as part of the core cast!

Bob-omb: Who knew living explosives could be so...cute? I can’t deny that I delight in seeing them, even though they usually terrorize me whenever they’re around. Totally love to see them included, as they’re great inclusions.

Boo: Spooky time! I love seeing Boo, they’re fun. Also, horrifying to face off against, since they’re not usually the easiest to defeat. They’re cute though, and I love to listen to their cackles and trills! Also wonderful inclusions, both in the main Super Mario games and hilariously so in Luigi’s Mansion. (I love their titles and names in those games!)

Bowser Jr.: While his existence should raise questions, mostly concerning how, I tend to hand wave that as easily as Nintendo does. I love that Bowser has a bratty kid, it’s so entertaining to me! And it’s precious, because I really enjoy seeing Bowser having a soft spot for his son. Junior himself is enjoyable to see too, because he’s a pint-sized enemy with lots of personality!

Pauline: That’s my girl! That’s my girl right there, whoo! I’m so deliriously happy that she’s returned in the greatest form, from nameless damsel to major city mayor! And now she’s regularly included for Mario franchise casts by the fans and the developers. She deserves it, and I hope we continue to see Pauline appear all the time in the future! Get it, One-Up Girl!

Baby Daisy: A cute baby bean, and a logical companion for Baby Peach! Not usually a character that I favor, but I don’t mind her. The scariest kiddo on the racetrack, that I’ve learned.

Petey Piranha: It makes sense that the Piranha Plants have a boss leader, since Bowser is that for the Koopas, and then we have such for Bob-ombs, Whomps, Boos, and the others. Anyway, the sludge stuff is gross, but I do love to see Petey! He’s actually sort of cute with his little utters of “yay!” in spin-offs. Plus, he’s usually a fun flavor of boss to battle!

Lakitu: Honestly, I forget that these dudes are supposed to be bad guys; they’re usually so friendly and helpful! And I think I prefer them that way overall. But, they do make challenging opponents when they’re not helpers, so that is fun to see from time to time. Totally a great mainstay to the roster either way!

Baby Rosalina: Like, I do get the idea of her, but at the same time, she’s more or less a walking contradiction, more than Bowser Jr. or the other babies by far. She is cute though, and I guess we’re not meant to think about it.

Koopa Troopa: Basically Bowser’s equivalent to Toad, and I don’t think that’s a comparison that’s addressed often enough. Like, they’d be great to make Bowser’s forces more sympathetic. Anyway, I like them as enemies, though I tend to see them as helpers fairly often too, since that’s how they’ve appeared over the years. Totally a great mainstay!

Boomerang Bro: As if their hammer throwing cousins weren’t bad enough, we get these dudes to battle from time to time. They’re tricky but cool variations on classic opponents. And I think I enjoy seeing them when we have big cast herds for the spin-off Mario titles.

Bullet Bill: Fear. These guys just come flying out of cannons and my instinct just shifts into fight-or-flight. I love them appearing, but I’m always wary of the challenges they normally present. Also, similar to Bob-omb with the whole, “who knew living artillery could be cute?” Because I know it’s Mario, but geez.

Baby Luigi: The baby bro! He’s a fun alternate option for Baby Mario to rescue, and cute to see included from time to time in spin-off titles. Though, I think his best appearance was Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time.

Banzai Bill: The developers went, “Hey, know what’s scary than a big bullet chasing you down? How about a MEGA DEATH BULLET that destroys everything in its wake? Let’s even give it a creepy slasher-grinning face!” And nobody really questioned that. Utterly horrifying to battle (or just run from), but cool conceptually, so I like the enemy inclusion.

Buzzy Beetle: They’re such lowkey baddies that I actually love. Like, there’s even a sinister hint to them with the glowing red eyes and everything! Totally underrated as opponents, and I enjoy their appearances whenever they’re around.

Baby Mario: The leader of the bunch, and you know him...wait a minute. Anyway, he’s a fun character concept, and I like the idea of exploring characters at different points of their lives! It’s cute to see Mario was thrown into heroics since basically birth, and Baby Mario’s usually entertaining to see around, even though we should really question the lacking moral/ethic decisions of letting babies drive go-karts and playing sports.

Goomba: The number one low-level grunt of all-time! At least, I think so. They’re such fun enemies to see included almost all of the time. It’s fun how they’re normally super easy to fight, but can be surprising challenges in various appearances too. Simple conceptually, yet really diverse in use! Overall, one of the best baddies out there!

Thwomp: Floating death trap extraordinaire! These dudes are utterly terrifying to be anywhere near, most especially under. I tend to remember them for the blocky blue forms used during the N64 era, but I think that’s the less iconic form. Still, they’re great trap enemies for sure, with a great slamming grunt to boot!

Captain Toad: While I’m not entirely sure if he’s meant to be separate from the Toad we know, I treat him that way. Plus, it’s fun to have a light-hearted version of Wario’s treasure hunter role used, and one that actually provides aid to Mario on his adventures! Plus, a hero in his own right. A great character indeed!

Wiggler: Instead of chanting “don’t be suspicious,” it’s “don’t wake the wormy” for me. This crazy caterpillar is full of anxiety inducing moments for sure, but on the cuter side too. Also, shout-out to the Flutter form! Anyway, they make a fun enemy, and it’s fun when they go from passive to aggressive!

Cheep Chomp: I really can’t deny that I’m surprised that this was included for an opinion list. Anyway, bigger and scarier fish enemies are always a good fright to include, so, why not? I like the purple version too.

Baby Peach: The original baby princess, which is weird to mention, given that I never expected more than one to appear or matter. Anyway, she’s a cute companion for Baby Mario and has her own baby princess posse, so...yeah.

Boom Boom: These dudes were always such cool enemies in Super Mario Bros. 3, so I’m really glad they came back into newer games! I love seeing them appear more in spin-offs lately too, they’re entertaining options to shuffle in with the cast now and again. Fun to face off against too; normally easy, but can be tougher too!

Cheep Cheep: Fishy! It’s weird how they can be so cute, and yet they’re so dangerous, since one bite cuts you down to size. But yeah, I like them as basic aquatic enemies!

Blooper: These troublesome dudes...they can chase you, tentacle smack you, and ink you in the face! That last one never used to be a problem in kart racing, but they totally improved over the years. Good enemy. But, also? A really, really cute spin-off character! I kind of love seeing them appear in other titles as playable characters. Especially in Mario Tennis Aces. Their voices are so cute!

Whomp: Really weird to see them included so far from their king. But anyway! Cool enemies, totally underrated compared to their Thwomp cousins, and I like to see them turn up now and again. They make fun guards, most commonly utilized in the Mario Party series. They’re fun enemies and deserve more love!

Additional Characters That I Like Too

Birdo: The disrespect at people never including my girl...shameful! Anyway, I love Birdo a lot. She’s pretty cute and should totally be included way more often than she is. And she pairs so nicely with Yoshi, that’s so perfect! Plus, she’s probably the earliest trans character that I was ever introduced to, and/or consciously aware of. Anyway, I love her, so there.

Toadsworth: Why does he get so neglected over the years? I thought he was a great inclusion for Peach’s staff, and yet, he’s diminishing so frequently over the years for some reason. Anyway, he was a very entertaining character, made a great equivalent to Kamek, and I wish he’d be used more frequently.

Donkey Kong: Not going to lie, I tend to not include him in Mario cast calls a lot too, since he just feels comparatively detached to other characters. That’s so weird for someone that basically helped kick off Nintendo’s main franchise. Anyway, I love him a lot, even if I don’t show it much. He’s a cool kong, and doesn’t need to be the king to prove it!

Chain Chomp: The bark and chain rattle of sheer terror. I love these guys though! They’re so cute! And dangerous. But cute! Whether being used as a baby’s weapon of mass destruction in racing, or as another avid tennis player, Chain Chomps are just delightful to have around.

Wart: Yeah, not really expected to be included. But, I like Wart from Super Mario Bros. 2, and he’s basically my new character to campaign for since Pauline made it back from the yester-years already. Wart has great potential to be an alternative to Bowser, or even just a fun character to include, so, I hope that we see him come back to the Mario franchise in the future some day!

Nabbit: This pesky thief actually stands out well enough to me, probably because he’s included as a playable pick in the New Super Mario Bros. games from time to time. Anyway, an oddball of sorts, but pretty cute to see pop up from time to time! Maybe he’ll be kept in rotation for future spin-offs...we’ll see!

Monty Mole: Perhaps a more forgettable enemy, but I think they’re entertaining and rather unique ground enemies! Also, I enjoy their Rocky Wrench cousins. But yeah, I felt these dudes deserved a special mention too!

Diddy Kong: Although I typically don’t consider Diddy a Mario character, he’s appeared so often enough that he should be. I like him as Donkey Kong’s go-to partner, and he’s fairly cute too!

Tatanga: Look, if Wart doesn’t work out, then I’m rallying behind Super Mario Land’s Tatanga. Plus, if we get more Daisy, we might as well get an enemy to go along with, or rather against, her. Who better than this little dude? ...Though, I kind of like the bulky version from the comics more. Then again, it’s less expected for a tiny guy to be a main bad guy, so, he’d work either way. Another fun alternate for Bowser, so he can have a break, and Mario gets more enemies!

Fire Bro: I saw the Boomerang Bro and was kind of expecting this dude to show up too. Normally easier to handle than their weapon tossing cousins, at least for me, but they’re challenging enough too. Another fun variation inclusion for big roster herds.

Spike: You know, I recall the Paper Mario version known as Clubba best. But anyway, I like these dudes, and I’m enjoying seeing them appear more often in newer spin-off titles. They’re cute! And they provide strong diversity for Bowser’s usual forces.

Luma: How did we not see these little fellows in the main set? They’re so adorable, I love seeing them all the time now! Definitely one of the coolest races to come from the Mario games, totally fitting for the franchise, and I love seeing them appear basically whenever they do. They’re so cute!

Rex: The retro Super Mario World enemy that’s rather squishy and most commonly forgotten. I think they work nicely as an evil equivalent to Yoshi, at least in appearance. It’s honestly strange that they’re so underrated and underutilized by the franchise; they’re pretty cool!

Ninji: Little ninja-like minions from Super Mario Bros. 2 that appear sparingly across the Mario series. Another enemy that I feel is super underrated and totally has potential for inclusion in spin-off games or just as a more frequent opponent like Rexes should be.

Koopa Paratroopa: Kind of included with Koopa Troopa above, but I like to see Paratroopa distinguished, since they normally tend to be, even among flying enemies. Plus, they’re common inclusions to the Mario spin-off titles, so it’s weird to pass over them. Anyway, I like these winged menaces too!

Professor E. Gadd: Speaking of underused characters and E. Gadd should totally pop up there. I like that he’s a Luigi’s Mansion mainstay, but I miss the days where he was slowly branching out in other titles, perhaps most notably in the Mario & Luigi series, but he’s also the reason that Mario had FLUDD in Super Mario Sunshine! I wonder why he’s not included more frequently; even if not playable, he makes sense just being used in some capacity.

Spiny: Lakitu’s little monsters that rain terror from the skies and onto the ground! Perhaps one of tougher baddies to battle with, but I like to see them, since they’re pretty iconic. Even without being Lakitu’s minions, they’re still plenty tough for Mario to battle against. Plus, they’re kind of cute? We should see a blue variation some day though, so that way we all know who to hammer on for all of those Mario Kart horror stories...

Cappy: Since this is being posted on the 3rd anniversary for Super Mario Odyssey, I’ll give him an additional inclusion. After all, Cappy is probably one of Mario’s best companions for a 3-D Mario title to ever be included, easily surpassing FLUDD and Baby Luma / Co-Star Luma. I hope he’s not left to be forgotten as the years go by, because he had plenty of personality and flavor that really made the adventure even more entertaining, and a great concept to engage with the game play, so, here’s to Cappy!

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Phew. Anyway, these are just some thoughts on Mario franchise characters! There sure are a lot of them, huh? Probably too many to count if we really dig through the series, that’s for sure!

That’s all from me though, at least for this. Thank you for reading!

Fili x Reader- I Will Always Come For You (2/2)

@starofthedawn @c-s-stars @zulfiya-the-warrior-princess @inlaval @nerdbirdsworld Tagged those who I thought would be interested in this sequel :)

Previously: The summer had been chased away by the chill and each day you wondered where your love might be. You knew he’d come back- you had to believe that. Worries that air no longer filled his lungs and his heart no longer beat sent you spiraling so you did your best to avoid the thoughts like that. Fili would come back for you.

For now you just had to work and let the days pass. Eventually he’d come like he once had and he’d sweep you off your feet.

Every day you woke, tumbled out of bed and rolled out your stiff joints. You then washed up, ate some breakfast and walked to work. The same dirt path day in and day out. You ran about the tavern serving loud drunks and quite travelers and let the hours pass you in a blur you didn’t care to remember. You’d beg to close up. You couldn’t be alone with yourself just yet. You’d waste another hour washing tables and making sure the dishware and glasses were washed to your liking. Then you’d lock up, double check you locked up, and set off on your dirt path to your cottage. It was always cold and dark and empty. It had been since Fili left. 

Even the stray cat you’d saved one winter night came and went, not much of an indoor beast. Fili had been similar to that stray cat you’d realized. He’d come into your life suddenly, charmed you with wide open eyes and then he was on his way, off to adventure and take back the future that had been torn from him and his family. He wasn’t much of an indoor beast either. But gods you missed him. The rising sun on the fields of wheat reminded you of his long locks every morning. The flame you lit in your furnace reflected over the walls of the room, casting shadows on a woven blanket that matched the shade of his blue eyes. 

You sighed and sat down heavily at your table. Your feet were aching but it was pleasant. It kept you grounded. The throbbing in your caves and the knot in your back kept you present and you had to remind yourself that Fili had promised he would be back. You just had to be patient. But it had already been so long. Pouring a strong drink you shucked your shoes off in the corner of the room and shed your day clothes. You curled up in front of the fire and closed your eyes for a moment. The burning embers almost resembled Fili’s warmth. You let your drink and the quiet crackling of the fire lull you into a disassociated state of peace. 

It was too much to stay in your mind. It had become a dark place full of fears and worries, jealousy and hatred. Questions battered at your brain and it was just better to let your gaze grow hazy and your body grow still as you wondered elsewhere. You don’t know where you went to escape the thoughts that plagued you. You just zoned out. You either fell asleep or zoned back in hours later, somehow in bed or still at your place on your wooden chair, staring at the door to your home. Like he might walk in any moment. 

You scoffed as tears began to well up in your eyes. The bastard had probably forgotten about you, won, and then married some dwarrowdam. He had promised but where was he? You knocked back the rest of your drink and burrowed down under your heavy blankets. This was the second winter that you’d been through without him by your side. The frost from outside seemed to seep under the gap under your door and wrap around you heart to freeze it out. Slowing the beats until you drifted into another lonely, unfitful rest. Flashes of a pale orc and burning trees plagued you but by the time the sun rose signaling the start of your routine they vanished from your mind. However, the negative energy left you uneasy and worried for your love.

“Hey hun, if you take any longer bringin’ us our drinks, I’ll be dead!” Barked a broad man that you had no patience for. You rolled your eyes but put another mug of ale onto your tray and weaved yourself through the crowd to come before the complaining customer and his buddies. They roared as if he had said the funniest thing they’d ever heard. You spun on your heel, knowing there was someone else in the tavern somewhere about to complain about slow service. But you stopped in your tracks when the unpleasant man landed a firm swat to your ass with a, “that’s better, you’d make a pretty wife if you were quicker,” 

Your blood boiled but you shoved it down, paying him no mind before continuing to move about the patrons. Refilling drinks, delivering and cleaning up plates of food, directing them to their rooms. It was a tiring dance that left you hollow. You were tempted to crawl behind the bar and nurse a mug of ale for yourself to try and put back together some of your sanity. Yet you were forced to revisit the impolite men and the broad fool eyed you every time. You stood at the opposite end of the table when you replaced empty glasses and you took a bit longer in the back cleaning them then your boss would like but it was one of those days. If you had to put up with that bastard customer much longer you’d burst into tears. 

“Dollface!” Came a roar from the man and you could tell the multiple rounds of drinks would getting to him. Unfortunately, he was getting louder and bolder. 

“What can I get for you sir?” You said with barely restrained fury. You weren’t his hun, or his dollface. You weren’t his in any form. In moments like this you missed Fili with renewed vigor. 

With a surprisingly quick movement his arm snaked around your waist and tugged you. You were taken off guard and ended up in his laugh. His breath was stale and your nose wrinkled in disgust. Your hands were placed against his chest to keep you at a safe distance as you tried to worm out of his grip but he only tightened his grip. Your head whipped around and you hoped your boss or another barmaid would be out to assist you but your boss was probably working over finances in his office upstairs and Cynthia was most likely on her break. 

Your hands were pulled out from under you and he had the gall to smash his lips to yours in a sloppy kiss that made you want to vomit. You bit his lip, hard, in retaliation the same time you were being pulled back by a set of hands. You watched as the man’s seat was kicked from beneath him and a heavy boot swung into his side. His face turned red and he looked ready to fight when a familiar voice commanded, “Stay down.”

Your heart stopped and you nearly gave yourself whiplash as your eyes connected with a blue pair that you had been dreaming about for ages. You only broke your gaze to peer behind you and found a cheeky grin. “Hello, Y/N,” 

“Kili,” You said, voice small. 

He released you from his grip yet you found you were frozen to your spot even as you let your gaze return to his brother. Fili looked the same as he had the day he’d left. There were a few more demons behind his eyes possibly and a few more wrinkles, and you knew there would be hidden scars, yet other than that he was still as beautiful as you’d ever seen him. Possibly more. He let his eyes rake over you in a similar fashion and he took the first step forward. It was all you needed. 

Without a moments notice you were crossing the distance, arms thrown around his neck and tears streaming steadily down your cheeks as his own arms secured you against him, his hand coming to tangle in your hair. He pulled you back to let his thumb glide over your bottom lip, frowning at the blood he collected there. 

“Not mine, his,” You informed, nodding your head to the unwanted patron. 

Fili snarled but you knew he didn’t want to fight. He’d already kicked the man and for now he had better things to do than brawl in a tavern. Kili was already distracted by Cynthia and you were positive he would receive free drinks if he told her a story. She loved adventures. Fili let his hands cup your face and you were brought back to him and him alone. You let your eyes close however and you let yourself take in the feel of his hands and the familiar musk that put your soul at rest. Your arms tightened around him and your tears fell harder, you gasped for air and you ended up sobbing against his chest. 

“Come,  âzyungâl, we have much to discuss,” Fili said leading you to the door. You stayed underneath his arm and let him guide you home. Your eyes were trained to the curve of his nose, the slant of his jaw, the plumpness of his lips. He was smiling and you knew he was aware of your staring but thankfully he didn’t care. 

Once you were inside your cottage and you were kissing him like it would be the last time you’d ever have the chance to. You hadn’t savored it enough the last time he’d said his farewells and you were starved. He was the light of your life and you’d been in the dark too long without him. You needed him to pull you out. He grunted and stumbled back with the force of you, hands going to your hips to steady the both of you. He met your lips with the same desperation yet it was he who slowed them. 

Fili broke for air and pressed his forehead against yours, chest heaving. “Someone is eager,” 

“Of course,” You choked out, “I have been waiting for this moment since the second you left me,” 

“I promised I’d come back,” Fili said softly, sitting on your bed, hands on your hips, guiding you to stand between his legs. You let your hands wonder over the curves of his face, tracing his eyebrows, nose, lips. His gaze was sad. 

“I had begun to lose hope...” You sniffled. “Not that you would win back your home, but that I still had a place in your heart for when all was said and done,” 

“Is that you were in that man’s lap?” Fili growled lowly and you narrowed your eyes. 

“And what are you trying to say?” You challenged, arms crossing in front of your chest defensively. 

Yet Fili groaned and leaned forward, resting against your stomach before his hands skidded down your sides to squeeze your bum affectionately before he tugged you closer and you got the message. You straddled him yet kept your stern look and he looked like a wounded puppy. 

“I’m sorry, that was unfair of me, amrâlimê.” 

“Yes it was, I would never be unfaithful to you, even if you never came back,” You said honestly, looking away. Fili however gripped your chin in between his thumb and forefinger in a bid to get you to look at him. 

“I’ve missed you so much, every moment was spent with you on my mind.” Fili admitted to put an end to your short, senseless spat. 

Your legs were wound around his waist and you grabbed the hand that was on you to kiss his wrist before wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. His chin was resting on your shoulder and he traced nonsensical patterns into your back and you melted at the touch. 

“Never leave again,” You begged softly and he shifted, laying you both down, tugging the covers over you after kicking off his boots. 

“If I do, you will be coming with me. I swear that we will never part again,” 

If the characters of she-ra were swapped out with your oc’s which roles do you think they’d fill?

OH this is absolutely FASCINATING anon, I LOVE it. I tried to keep it to the main cast, this was really challenging!

Xadrea, my gut tells me, would be Adora/She-Ra. Lost princess from another world takes up powerful artifact for good in defense of the universe, overcomes the manipulations of others who would force her to use it for evil, knows nothing of friendship, love, or trust, only The Fight. The only problem is, I don’t have anyone to be her Catra, no one ever tried to stop her leaving home... so it would have to be someone else. Hmmm. Or perhaps this is a sign I need to make someone to fill that role for her. It’s so incredibly hard for her to trust, to see a future for herself, to believe it’s possible that the world can be saved for her too... Perhaps I don’t have a Catra for her because honestly? She never successfully redeemed anyone. She never, honestly, successfully saved anyone she cared about, and she is incredibly, terribly alone in it all. So I suppose she’s what Adora would be like without her foil. Dedicated to the cause to the point of self-destruction, because that’s all she believes she can do.

Princess Hypsipyle is the Glimmer of the group. Royal who just wants a chance to do something with her life, sneaks out of the palace to get away from her controlling parent, if left unattended absolutely will commit crimes. Only, her mother is a mad tyrant, not the victim of one. Orinn is Bow. 100%. He was never really inspired by Bow, on account of me creating him before I watched She-Ra, BUT... the show came out soon after that, and I may have taken some inspiration for his character after the fact. They’re both “the only normal one” in a group of crazy-powerful magical people, they often feel like they’re the only one putting effort into their friendships and struggle to keep up with being the happy friendly one all the time when no one else seems interested in helping. Lots of similarities between these two. Psamion would be Sea Hawk. I do not think I have to explain this one, they’re both chaotic sea captain bards who get up to all sorts of ridiculous hijinks, outwardly they might be the comic relief but they’re deep down quite sensitive and worry no one actually likes having them around. This, funnily enough, makes Kíhyué our Mermista. The long-suffering companion to Psamion, the “uuuuuuuuuuugh are you kidding me right now, you did WHAT” to his “I may or may not have seduced the king’s daughter/set the venue on fire/stolen something and now the guards are after me,” he’s the serious one who everyone assumes actually hates the ridiculous one but secretly loves them (even if they’d never show it). The serious one no one would ever expect is just as chaotic as the goofy one. Éomer is Swift Wind. The psionic celestial gryphon as the magical flying horse, he’s also the emotional support companion to our heroes in question. Faendys is Perfuma. The soft one who can be surprisingly scary in a fight, the one who wants a peaceful solution first, the one who always tries to look on the bright side of even the worst situation. I know she’s not one I mentioned anywhere recently, mostly due to her not being relevant to my current campaign events, but Vexana is Scorpia. Like, seriously, Scorpia is just Vexana but bug-themed instead of dragon-themed and rated PG instead of R. Their personalities are almost identical, they even have arguably similar backstories when I think about it, it’s one of the funniest things to me. Oh, your parent gave your kingdom and power away to an ally who turned out to actually be a villain? You are oblivious as hell and have a hard time fitting in but really, really love your friends? You are tall and beefy and have big claws but give really great hugs? Yeah, the resemblance is uncanny, I love them both so much. As for the current list though... Anaziah the Kind would probably make a good Scorpia too, all things considered. Amanthos and Arekos would be Bow’s dads. They’re not like, Orinn’s dads, obviously, but gay historians collecting artifacts of a long dead civilization and living in a library??? I’m sorry, it’s too perfect, that’s a wrap, we’re done. Kassia, another NPC in the bandit crew who was not mentioned, was actually just... straight up inspired by Entrapta, so there’s that. She’s very exuberant, has no concept of personal space, if First Ones Tech existed in my universe Kassia would lose her little rogue mind over it for sure since she loves any sort of complicated mechanical thing. Inimicia would probably be the closest approximation I have for Queen Angella. Though she’s much more involved with the goings on of the world, much less passive. She’s not afraid to take decisive action, despite that she’s no stranger to leaping without thinking and facing dire consequences for it. Alexis and Aodyni, while not romantically involved in my canon, could theoretically work as Netossa and Spinarella? If we’re going for canon, Faendys and Anaziah would probably be the closest match, this would be a good one for them. Actually, I take back their prior assignments, Anaziah is Netossa and Faendys is Spinarella. But uhhhh... shoot. Now I don’t know who fits the others. Dangit. They were really hard. Alexis or Aodyni would work as Huntara. Hm. Maybe. Sadly I don’t think I really have anyone who quite fits in as Frosta. My villains, unfortunately, don’t quite work with the Horde either. However........

BONUS: Rixa is Double Trouble. Don’t think I have to explain this one too much. She uses charm instead of disguise, mostly, though she’s been known to do that too... but the master manipulator behind the scenes has always been her role. Being chaotic and starting wars is just her thing.

New to Billy Wilder? Watch These Four Films by Jill Blake

Billy Wilder is, without a doubt, one of the greatest filmmakers of all-time. Born in Austria, Wilder got his start as a reporter, then later as a screenwriter after a move to Berlin. Unfortunately, Germany was in a period of great political uncertainty as the Nazi party and its leader, Adolf Hitler, were ascending into power. Being of Jewish descent, Wilder fled to Paris, eventually emigrating to the United States. Wilder worked as a screenwriter, forming a partnership with fellow writer Charles Brackett. The two worked on several films together, including BLUEBEARD’S EIGHTH WIFE (’38) and NINOTCHKA (’39), both directed by Ernst Lubitsch; Howard Hawks’s BALL OF FIRE (’41); and THE MAJOR AND THE MINOR (’42), which was Wilder’s directorial debut. Over the next 40 years, Wilder wrote and directed 25 feature-length films, including DOUBLE INDEMNITY (’44), SUNSET BOULEVARD (’50), THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH (’55), SOME LIKE IT HOT (’59) and THE APARTMENT (’60). FilmStruck has programmed an eclectic and comprehensive collection of Wilder’s directorial efforts from some of his most popular, critically-acclaimed works to his lesser-known and more controversial output, as well as the excellent documentary BILLY WILDER SPEAKS (2006).

Are you new to Billy Wilder’s filmography and unsure exactly where to begin? Here’s my Wilder Watchlist (my #FilmStruck4: Billy Wilder Edition, if you will) to help you get started:

SOME LIKE IT HOT (’59)—Starring Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon

SOME LIKE IT HOT is one of my go-to films for not only introducing Wilder, but classic film in general. Considered by many to be the funniest movie of all-time, SOME LIKE IT HOT has it all: witty, subversive comedy; sex appeal; incredible costuming; and a delightful story. Everything works perfectly in this film, from Jack Lemmon’s tango with Joe E. Brown to Tony Curtis’s exaggerated impersonation of Cary Grant to Marilyn Monroe’s irresistible performance of “I Wanna Be Loved by You” while wearing a dress that leaves very little to the imagination. SOME LIKE IT HOT is a comedy masterpiece.

SUNSET BOULEVARD (’50)—Starring Gloria Swanson and William Holden

SUNSET BOULEVARD is quite possibly the greatest film ever made about Hollywood. Wilder was not only a master of comedy, but he also explored the dark and cynical side of human nature. In this film, he juxtaposes that dark side with the cutthroat Hollywood studio system. Wilder carefully treads the line with his criticism of Hollywood and its fickle, unforgiving expectations of its stars; it’s equal parts love letter and ruthless condemnation. For the film’s lead, Wilder cast silent film star Gloria Swanson as the faded and reclusive starlet Norma Desmond in what was a major comeback for the actress. Wilder also featured cameos from other aging Hollywood actors past their prime, including Buster Keaton, H.B. Warner and Anna Q. Nilsson.

ACE IN THE HOLE (‘51)—Starring Kirk Douglas and Jan Sterling

Much like Elia Kazan’s A FACE IN THE CROWD (’57), ACE IN THE HOLE was far ahead of its time and is one of those films that has only become more relevant in recent years. Wilder takes full aim at the deplorable tactics of those who value ratings, wealth and power over journalistic integrity and basic human decency. In our current era of 24-hour news cycles and the fight for limited attention spans, ACE IN THE HOLE plays like a real-life story. And it’s absolutely terrifying. This film is Wilder at his most critical and subversive. And that’s saying something.

AVANTI! (’72)—Starring Jack Lemmon and Juliet Mills

So, you’ve watched the three previous, critically-acclaimed films and would like to see one of Wilder’s deeper cuts. Look no further than AVANTI! Now, this isn’t considered one of Wilder’s best films and I’m likely in the minority in my unabashed love for it. But AVANTI! is truly special. It features Wilder’s trademark cynicism and unconventional romance, but on a more mature level. It’s funny and weird and deliberate in its storytelling. Its runtime is long, which is one of the main criticisms a lot of folks have about the film. But to me, no time is wasted. Wilder asks the audience to immerse themselves in the story, with all its quirky twists and turns, and in return we’re given a most satisfying and beautiful ending. AVANTI! is romantic, funny and bittersweet and an underrated gem in Wilder’s long and impressive career.

BPRD: The Devil You Know ~ Pandemonium - Chapter Four

Story: Mike Mignola & Scott Allie | Art: Laurence Campbell | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Clem Robins

Originally published by Dark Horse in BPRD: The Devil You Know #9 | August 2018

Collected in BPRD: The Devil You Know - Volume 2: Pandemonium

Plot Summary:

The Bureau starts its first push into New York City.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is in reference to the chapter itself and is not indicative of anything found in the issue or collections.)

pg. 1 - It’s interesting to see how seemingly out of their depth the Bureau seems to be when they have to face actual demons. It seems a little weird that they’re fine with interdimensional Lovecraftian monsters out of time and space, but little demons throw them for a loop.

Also, the near ever present red colour wash throughout this chapter is bound to have psychological effects on the reader. There’s something about the red and black here that just seems to set a shroud around the tale. Like everything is on fire.

pg. 2 - The changes to New York seem to be somewhat consistent with the architecture and colour scheme of Pandemonium in Hellboy in Hell. There does indeed seem to be an attempt to make NYC a New Pandemonium. In addition to the continued in-fighting amongst the demons.

pg. 3 - Throwing these little demons at the BPRD’s airship seems a little weird. While they are doing damage, it seems negligible. More like they’re a nuisance than anything else.

pg. 4 - I’d wonder whether setting fire to demons would actually do anything, but, well, it seems to be working.

pg. 5 - The battle outside feels a little weird. What with the agents being dragged off by the little demons.

pg. 6 - The artwork from Laurence Campbell and Dave Stewart is stunning though. Beautiful compositions of the confrontations. Love the little detail of blood splatter on Howards’ sword.

pg. 7 - The little demons flying into the engines definitely seems to be a way to take down the airship.

pg. 8 - Liz seems to be remembering what she saw of her vision of the end from way back. I think Fenix had a similar one of NYC. Though, I’m fairly certain it was the old format BPRD transport that they saw, not this one they effectively stole from Russia. Though, I could be misremembering that.

pg. 9 - It is worth noting that it’s kind of funny the Bureau thought they could just fly in their airship unscathed in the first place. The original sorties into New York when it was still infested with Ogdru Hem and the Black Flame were perilous and basically had to be handled on foot. I’m not sure why they’d expect less adversity from Varvara.

pg. 10/11 - Beautiful double-page spread of the splashdown. It’s neat that the Bureau is having to face both the flying little demons and the more disturbing blackened possessed folks.

pg. 12 - Ashley Strode’s flaming sword is neat.

pg. 14 - I like that the opening salvo is taken as just a distraction.

pg. 16 - Still some little pockets of monsters around to cause more problems for the agents.

pg. 18 - This expulsion of energy from Liz is just gorgeous. I also quite like the discussion with the demon questioning how Liz can potentially contain the fire inside.

pg. 19 - I love how this plays on our expectations. We’ve got three different people shown in Varvara’s oculum and I think many of us would probably think that the “weak link” is Carla since she’s been having the dreams sent out by Varvara. But we’ve also got Abe and Devon here. There’s doubt. Abe could be unwittingly be being made to fulfill his own destiny. Or Devon could just be an asshole.

pg. 20/21 - “God damn Giuliani...” may be one of the funniest things in Hellboy in retrospect.

pg. 22 - Well...that’s probably not good.

Final Thoughts:

This battle, compared to all of the time spent gathering forces and ruminating on what’s going on, feels like the real beginning of the end. The scope feels huge as the Bureau comes up against Varvara’s forces. Where there have been immense battles across the Hellboy narrative, from Hellboy’s fight in England to the Bureau’s standoff in Colorado, there’s something about how this one is being paced that it feels like the fight for all of the cookies is just on the horizon. Not even considering that the end of this act comes next chapter and the final volume is to come.

That feeling of finality opens up things a bit more for stakes. While we’ve been shown previously that any member of the cast can see their end throughout the series, especially during moments of heightened conflict, it seems possible now more than ever that no character is safe and anyone can die at any time. It’s just a push to see if there’s a little bit more time for survival.

d. emerson eddy thinks a U2 concert should be starting in NYC right now, under a blood red sky.

The Best Films of 2018, Part IV

Scroll down for Parts I, II, and III. VERY GOOD MOVIES THAT STILL AREN’T TECHNICALLY GREAT--SEE, I LIED, NEW CATEGORY, WHICH REALLY SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS TIER IN 2018 AND MAYBE HINTS THAT THERE WEREN’T MANY MOVIES THAT I GENUINELY LOVED

44. Hotel Artemis (Drew Pearce)- It should be illegal to watch this movie before midnight because it is an exploitation flick to its core. Is it a problem that it's shaped like a triangle, that it starts wrapping up its answers the minute we understand what the questions were? Yes. Is that a problem that Jeff Goldblum, playing the Wolf King, wearing a double-breasted camel's hair coat like a shawl, can't fix? No.

43. Sicario: Day of the Soldado (Stefano Sollima)- Considering how much I liked Sicario, I'm impressed by how close its sequel came to its chilly hardness. Strangely enough, the craft suffers more from the absence of Jóhann Jóhannsson than it does from the absence of Denis Villeneuve. Aside from a lull at the two-thirds mark and the pulling of exactly one punch, this entry feels as vital and astute as the last one.

Which means the real auteur must be Taylor Sheridan. His script mimics the structure of the original while twisting its characters just askew enough to breathe new life into the material. His screenplays just sort of unfold in a way that I find organic--it's hard to even say what the conflict is until halfway through most of the time. And if he wants to write five more of these, I'll gladly take them.

42. The Other Side of the Wind (Orson Welles)- Like almost anyone else, I'm grateful that The Other Side of the Wind exists at all. The fact that it's so more personal and experimental than I expected is a bonus. It's kind of a mess until it congeals at the drive-in, but every choice still seems labored over. (The claustrophobic nature of the party versus the wide open spaces of the film-within-the-film, for example.) Nonetheless, it's hard to go to bat for a movie whose backstory is more captivating than the final product.

41. The Mule (Clint Eastwood)- Besides the breezy glide of the pacing, the performances stand out. Eastwood's is the type that we haven't seen from him in a while. He smiles a lot. He sings and dances and flirts. He's generally carefree and loopy. And he's contrasted with* a nervy Bradley Cooper in one of those humongous-star-taking-the-back-seat performances, sprinkling charisma the way Sean Connery did in The Untouchables.

But there is no elegance at all. Besides Chekhov's cough and the cheesy elbowing of "If only somebody had $25,000 to save the VFW Hall," we get the messy racial politics of Eastwood once again. Whereas Gran Torino worked for me because it's aware of its own racism, this one thinks that it's doing some good. The subtext is that an old White man would never catch trouble from police, but the text is a Hispanic man getting pulled over and nearly pissing himself for laughs. Hard to argue this isn't a fun time at the movies though, despite the fact that it's almost entirely about regret.

40. If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins)- Too theatrical and outre for my taste, but it's easy to get lost in its cosmetic pleasures: the lush colors, the lavish costumes, the immaculate close-ups, the best score of the year. I liked it, especially the Brian Tyree Henry tangent, but as the movie is swooning over itself, it's easy to catch yourself thinking, "What is this even about?"

39. Can You Ever Forgive Me? (Marielle Heller)- Can You Ever Forgive Me? hits every beat you would expect from an "in over her head" crime movie, but the time that the film dedicates to the central relationship creates a rare intimacy. If you stopwatched it, I imagine the majority of the film would be McCarthy and Grant talking to each other. That focus, along with a resistance to smoothing over the characters' rougher edges, elevates a kind of boilerplate story.

38. Blockers (Kay Cannon)- Even if the ending is kind of exhausting, desperate to give each character his or her moment, this is hilarious. Not so much in the setpieces showcased in the commercials but frequently in an expression or line reading. The Blu-Ray has a line-o-rama gag reel that is funnier than some entire movies. It's pretty progressive and fair in its portrayal of young female sexuality too.

37. Game Night (John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein)- It gets a little tidy and full circle for my taste, but this movie has some great laughs while being a good example of a film that nails both the characters' "want" and the characters' "need." Rachel McAdams is winning, and Jesse Plemons steals all of his scenes.

Game Night also has way more of a filmic identity than one might expect, since it doubles as a sort of Fincher parody. Besides Cliff Martinez's insistent electronic score and some CGI-for-no-reason establishing shots, Daley and Goldstein borrow the auteur's desaturated palette, locked-down camera, and narrow light range. There's even an elaborate one-r. The visuals elevated a premise that had the potential to be really dopey.

36. First Man (Damien Chazzelle)- I think this is exactly the movie Chazelle wanted to make, but, to match my expectations or his filmography, it's not quite good enough. Cool to the touch, though anything else would be antithetical to who Armstrong was. In the shape of suspense, but with an outcome that is obviously never in doubt. Flipping to the IMAX ratio the second the crew docks onto the moon is a cool trick, but it's as innovative as things get.

The cast is game. Gosling's fastidious brooding resists any of his Movie Star charm but still holds every scene, and the framing of Armstrong's motivation works very well. Foy's reading of "a bunch of boys" is about to become a t-shirt. Kyle Chandler and Jason Clarke and the suddenly mature Patrick Fugit all get their moments. The final scene places the film into the Chazelle tradition of people whose calling is greater than even their most transcendent relationships, and a protest sequence is a welcome break from the eraser-streaked perfectionism.

I'm sorry that I wanted Apollo 13 instead of a hipper Apollo 13.

35. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (Bob Perischetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman)- Within the course of one year, we got two possible solutions for the "problem" of inspiring but self-serious origin stories. At the beginning of the year, Black Panther mastered the form and presented it so solidly that it couldn't be argued against. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse goes the other way, so impressionistic that the final sequence is people flying through abstract shapes and colors, so irreverent that a character cuts someone off mid-sentence as he says, "With great power comes..." Though I would have trouble explaining the film, all of the dimensional comings-and-goings make sense in the moment, and it's easily the funniest Marvel movie ever made.

Maybe purposefully, it is overstuffed though. Six different iterations of Spider-Man is enough to juggle; I definitely didn't need a cadre of villains that was even less defined. I have to admit, even though I couldn't tell you what to cut, I was exhausted by the end, even if I was huffing and puffing fresh air.

34. Boy Erased (Joel Edgerton)- Many characters do bad things in this movie, but they're people trying to help and doing their best, justifying the pain that they're causing. This is a film that easily could have been drawn in caricature, and it never is. It does, however, draw the characters as fairly as they deserve, so the Joel Edgerton gay conversion therapist does wear bad ties and pronounce some words incorrectly. The Russell Crowe character, especially in the powerhouse final scene, is more complex and real, at least if I'm to judge by my own father, who has disturbingly similar moral authority and power moves k thx bai.

33. Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (Morgan Neville)- This one is more cohesive than 30 Feet From Stardom, but these Morgan Neville docs are sometimes too slick for their own good. If you've never made the "jerking-off motion" with your hand, then you'll be tested when he asks his subjects to close their eyes and imagine someone special to them.

That's not to say that the nearly pornographic reverence of Fred Rogers is not deserved or effective. And one of the most daring notes of the film is the suggestion that, in our hostile times, Rogers's message might not have stuck. The jabs at Trump aren't overplayed, but the president is sort of a pall over the entire film. When Rogers says, "The most essential things in life are invisible," it's hard not to imagine the person on our TV daily who is the antithesis of that idea.

32. Hearts Beat Loud (Brett Haley)- This is a heartwarming movie that ends on a high note with solid music. (Important because, if the music that the father and daughter made had been bad, the whole thing would have fallen apart.) Occasionally, it falls into that ensemble problem of "Good news: We got Ted Danson. Bad news: We have to find something for him to do." And it's a weird sideways ad for Spotify. But if I gave Begin Again three stars, then I have to kick this Once-core entry up to three-and-a-half.

If I may, though, I would like to analyze a recommendation that Offerman's record store owner makes to Collette's character. Since she's buying Dig Me Out by Sleater-Kinney, he puts her on to Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavilion, an album she has not heard of. Which is absurd. Forget that Animal Collective should not be recommended to any woman ever. Any person who knows Sleater-Kinney also knows Animal Collective. She would have heard of them if only because they would be a bad match for someone who likes Sleater-Kinney. But here he is all like, "Check out 'My Girls'--killer song." You're going to recommend the lead single, fam? You're not even going to go out on a limb and push "Bluish"? No wonder your store is shutting down if you're pushing free folk/art-punk onto riot grrls.

31. Western (Valesta Grisebach)- While I was watching Western, I can't say I was having too much fun. It seemed like an adequate story told in a patient, austere way. But in the days since then, I haven't been able to get it out of my head. The way that Grisebach gets so much out of non-professional actors, the way that each character seems to exist not so much as a person but as a totem for something like aggression or labor or exploitation or occupation. Like few other movies--though Beau Travail comes to mind--it's a portrait of masculinity that seems really resigned about its conclusions. 30. American Animals (Bart Layton)- I worry about the potential Boondock Saints effect of this movie: Do I want to be in the same number as the college dorm crew attracted to it only for its style? Is it only style? I don't think it adds up to much ultimately.

But it does have style, and it's way too fun of a caper flick to resist. It presents an interesting bridge in Bart Layton's career, from non-fiction that is a bit too fictional to fiction that is a bit too factual. The segments with the real people involved in the heist serve as decisive punctuation to the florid sentences of the narrative. I also appreciated that the film didn't dwell too much on the trial, since we know exactly where the boys faltered and what evidence did them in.

29. The Land of Steady Habits (Nicole Holofcener)- I loved the rich characterization of the first half, which resists hand-holding as it plops the viewer into a post-divorce setting that is familiar but specific. The film bounces off into tangents from there, some of which are great, but Edie Falco seems to draw the short straw. There are three actors on the poster--weird-voiced Ben Mendelsohn, Thomas Mann, and Falco--but her character is left undeveloped, a bit unfairly, as the proceedings favor the men. The film is still another ground-rule double for Holofcener, a filmmaker who gives the impression that she has no idea what a ground-rule double is.

28. Private Life (Tamara Jenkins)- I don't know anything about Tamara Jenkins's personal life, but there's no way that the details and emotion of the central couple's infertility don't come from her own pain. That frustration and obsession take center stage, and we get filled in with the rest of the details patiently as the film goes on. I don't think we even know what Giamatti's character does for a living until forty-five minutes in, and that's okay. The movie cares more about the supporting characters than I did, but I appreciated the lived-in realism of an apartment with books filling up the fireplace.

27. Flower (Max Winkler)- Although I didn't believe Zoey Deutch as a seventeen-year-old, I was impressed by this script, which moves slowly until it doesn't. I guess "Flower" is good branding since there doesn't appear to be a movie called that already, but I kind of wish this had just been called "Erica." It builds that character carefully, plants her in an impossible situation, then unleashes hell upon her.

An advantage of a movie with teenage characters is that they don't necessarily have to make the most logical decision in a given moment, so even when these characters are being dumb, they're being true to themselves. As the most prominent Zoey Deutch stockholder in North America, I actually thought about bumping this up an extra half-star.

26. Leave No Trace (Debra Granik)- Leave No Trace is partly about how existing outside of society can be as much of a contrivance as buying in, but the way the movie delivers that message is less ham-fisted than my description due to the intense performances at the center. Ben Foster, uncharacteristically restrained here, reportedly worked with Debra Granik to excise 40% of his dialogue, and that choice speaks volumes about the trust the film has for the audience in limiting the exposition.

The only thing holding me back was how exclusively internal the father-daughter story is. Unlike Granik's Winter's Bone, which functions as both a (similarly compassionate) coming-of-age story and a race-against-the-clock thriller, Leave No Trace is tracking only emotional growth. Will and Tom aren't headed anywhere in particular, which is part of the survival-versus-living point. But, you know, get you a Debra Granik movie that can do both.

25. Eighth Grade (Bo Burnham)- Socially terrifying when it isn't being effortlessly funny. Sometimes the protagonist is downright frustrating, which the film doesn't shy away from, but the vulnerability of Elsie Fisher's performance grounds everything around it. Besides nailing adult condescension, Burnham's script works because the big social disaster is always averted until it suddenly isn't, and that's when the moment hits the hardest. Somewhere in the back of my mind though, I kept thinking that perceptive realism is easy to do if that's your only goal. To quote the kids: "Some shade."

I spent most of the movie thanking God that YouTube channels didn't exist when I was thirteen.

24. Three Identical Strangers (Tim Wardle)- I'll be the millionth person to write "truth is stranger than fiction" with regard to this movie. And sometimes having no idea where a movie will go is enough. 23. Green Book (Peter Farrelly)- When a dramatic director makes a comedy, it often feels self-conscious and overt. I'm thinking about Von Trier's The Boss of It All, in which the technique is more important than any audience joy or release. Or Michael Haneke explaining tirelessly why he thinks Happy End is "actually a comedy." Unsurprisingly, the results work a lot better when a comedy director of twenty years decides to go more serious. He knows what audiences want, he already understands how to wring tension out of each scene, and all he needs is the right subject.

The last item is where Green Book suffers. In the end, this is still a movie in which a White guy learns not to be racist. The first third, there seemingly to insist that Tony is the main character, is shaggy. I would wager the men don't get into the car inside of forty minutes. But once we're on the tour? Man, is this a crowd pleaser. The men's respect for each other grows gracefully, and the film's proud sentimentality powers its best moments as they fly by at a clipped pace. I had given up on Farrelly after Hall Pass, which felt amateurish, so a work of such professionally manicured (manufactured?) emotion was a shock.

On a different note, are any of you interested in a thousand words on Linda Cardellini's posture?

22. Den of Thieves (Christian Gudegast)- Despite the February release date, a director with no track record, and the most #basic studio lead there is, Den of Thieves is a caper film as sprawling as it is humane. Even Potato-face Butler is perfect for his role.

I watched the unrated version, which should be called the "depressing version," since I know exactly what was cut. (Hint: The wordless scene of Butler's jilted family ignoring him when he sees them in the grocery store, not anything from the shoot-out.) There's a spot where I would end the movie, and it's way before the Keyser Soze epilogue, but this was a welcome surprise for me. The movie seems to find its star in O'Shea Jackson, Jr. as it goes, and I completely agree. Many more like this please.

21. The Front Runner (Jason Reitman)- Reitman starts with a complicated oner that cranes up and down, zooms in and out of new characters, and times itself perfectly to catch snatches of conversations about "how can you even lay this much cable?" And in all of its Altman-esque indulgence, it's kind of the movie in a nutshell. Something simple--a scene shot with one take--commenting on how damned hard it is. What seems like a straightforward thesis moves at a breakneck pace with a game ensemble until you realize that it was all more complicated than it seemed.

Hugh Jackman has the challenge of playing someone essentially unknowable, but he has an amazing moment in the first third. On the chartered boat called Monkey Business--such a bad look, dude--Gary Hart is composed and dignified until a woman we don't see* sits down across from him, and his whole affect changes. His guard drops, and he seems absorbed by her, giggly. We can't hear what he's saying, but he's asking her about herself and joking about himself. Both or one or neither of those personalities is the real guy. The Front Runner is a movie about a tragic Great Man, and they're always described as if they can't help themselves, as if they're fighting their demons until the magic moment when they aren't. Jackman made that magic real for me when Hart's personality fell out.

20. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (Joel Coen and Ethan Coen)- Patently uneven and bizarrely sequenced, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs doesn't stack up to the Coens' major works--though it demands another viewing. I did think, in all of its bleak absurdism, that it belongs in their neighborhood. To me, there's a dichotomy that most of the brothers' films trace. We're all doomed, but the force that does us in is sometimes fate (A Serious Man, Inside Llewyn Davis, The Hudsucker Proxy, No Country for Old Men) and sometimes the stupidity of other people (The Big Lebowski, Blood Simple, Burn After Reading, Miller's Crossing). This new movie seems to start with the latter, waver sometimes in the more interesting middle stories when Zoe Kazan and Tom Waits break my heart, then end up at the former. Tracking such a thing in miniature can be really instructive.

19. The Tale (Jennifer Fox)- If you can look past Common's goofy voice and the more afterschool special aspects of this movie, then you can realize that it should actually, as disturbing as it is, be an afterschool special. It spins its wheels sometimes, but the questions that this movie asks about memory and abuse are invaluable. Presenting a downright shocking portrayal of grooming and secrecy, it avoids easy answers and over-sympathizing with the protagonist all the way through. (Especially notable because the character is "Jennifer Fox," and the director is Jennifer Fox.)

Laura Dern remains Laura Dern, but I loved Jason Ritter in this. Exactly because he has been in a hundred failed sitcoms, he is terrifying here as a devilish knock-off of the type of guy approachable enough to be on TV.

18. Paddington 2 (Paul King)- At first, during the extended introduction, I was worried that Paddington 2 was falling prey to the curse of the sequel: more, not better. But as each family member pays off what we learned about him or her in the introduction during a sprightly train setpiece that owes more than a little to Keaton, I realized that I shouldn't have doubted the Paddington empathy machine. This one carries over the humor and sweetness but goes even harder on the pathos in its attempt to convince us to have good manners and care about the people around us. I'm not sure any other movie this year hit me harder than when the Browns don't show up for their weekly meeting at the jail.

Hugh Grant, an actor who always seems to be having fun, has never seemed as if he is having more fun.

17. Set It Up (Claire Scanlon)- I guess I believe in true love now.

16. Blindspotting (Carlos Lopez Estrada)- The stylized climax is going to be polarizing, but I thought it was a heightened, artful moment whose seeds had been sown throughout. The film meanders, but its angles on subjects like gentrification and probation and identity show tenderness and openness, and Estrada's visual energy recalls early Spike Lee or Jarmusch or Aronofsky. It's worth seeing if only for its fresh sense of place.

The two leads play off each other especially well. If Daveed Diggs is the fourth lead or whatever of Hamilton, then I guess I finally have to see it.

15. Incredibles 2 (Brad Bird)- Incredibles 2 is a good example of a sequel rhyming with the original in a way that doesn’t feel like a retread. Accidentally topical in its subtext about just rule of law, the film hits upon some of Brad Bird’s ideas of exceptionalism and hope for the future while being slightly more cogent in that messaging than the original. (Slightly. The villain problem is still there. If superheroes are already illegal, then why employ and promote them at all if your goal is to make them even more illegal?)

This entry is a bit more overstuffed, less timeless, and less funny than the original. There’s nothing on the level of “Honey, where is my super suit?” which I still say to my wife fourteen years later. But the fight choreography and the textural animation take advantage of the gap in between films. The Paar family dynamic is altered only slightly, but it’s enough to re-invent the proceedings. Violet has more confidence in herself, Dash is more in control of his powers, and it’s the, yes, thicc Elastigirl who is working solo this time. Especially in the opening sequence, we see how each character’s skills complement the others’. If Finding Dory is the bar for “sequels to Pixar movies that didn’t need sequels,” then Incredibles 2 leaps over that bar.

14. Chappaquiddick (John Curran)- "We need to tell the truth. Or at least our version of it."

After the Kennedy Curse claimed JFK Jr., it seemed as if the culture reached a saturation point with Kennedy coverage. Aside from the occasional "Look who's dating Taylor Swift," we gave them their space. Who would have thought that twenty years later would be the perfect time to dust off the coldest case in the dossier?

See, now that we're having a national conversation about who gets the breaks, there's a little bit of extra weight lent to a scene of Ted Kennedy waiting for a sheriff he summoned as he drafts a statement at that absent sheriff's desk. A sheriff who then helps Kennedy to escape through a backdoor lest he answer any untoward question about his manslaughter. The film is delivered with an even pitch--especially the Jason Clarke performance that could have been overdone--but it makes no mistake about its real subject: privilege.

The attempts to keep Kennedy safe become more brazen as the film goes on, and each dodged consequence--getting Teddy's driver's license renewed on the low, for example--is balanced by Ed Helms's desperate performance as a voice of integrity. In all of the best tragedies, we know what's going to happen in the end. All along, the Kennedy Curse was that they are not like the rest of us.

13. Love, Simon (Greg Berlanti)- Can we all agree that an anonymous gossip web site for a high school is a bad idea? And that, though the film doesn't pursue this angle, the vice principal is the one maintaining it?

This propulsive, observant, and witty movie is an outright pleasure from beginning to end. Hocking spitballs at its PG-13 rating, its greatest strengths are having the courage to get dark and having the wisdom to give every supporting character his or her own moment.

Captain Skrigh THIS IS 100% CANON!

So honestly I just really liked Captain Skrigh’s design and couldn’t bring myself to change anything about her. Also I realized I’m not very good at drawing straight flowy hair. So part way through drawing a thicker version of her I gave up and just drew a cute chubby afro girl to make up for it... and then I gave her a poodle tail cuz i thought it looked cute. ...and @gooseworxmusic hasn’t given us any backstory on Skrigh because “Do you really care?” so I can only assume whatever I write here is cannon until it gets retconned so I’m just gonna cross all this out and write my own crap <.<

Ok so Captain Skrigh is this grizzled warlord that broke off from the galactic guard cuz she plays by her own rules and looks damn good doing it! She basically just cruises around the stars teaching people how to make pasta cuz water is plentiful on their universe but there’s still a hunger crisis. And the people she feeds usually end up joining her ranks so by season 2 (which is when she actually becomes a captain) she has like this massive fleet. Which you think would make the series kinda lose it’s sense of wonder but they transition it very nicely (like REALLY NICELY, but i don’t wanna spoil the first season finale) and somehow none of the characters ever really get pushed to the background with the ever-increasing cast. Speaking of which that’s where First Lt. Poodles comes in. In season 1 when the Galactic Guard finally catches up with Skrigh and throws her in jail she meets Poodles (who’s basically the biggest baddest mother f***er in there, but also super sweet) anyway Skright helps Poodles and her groupies get their spirit back and they plan this AWESOME jail break which just so happens to double as quite possibly the funniest moment in the first season if not the whole series. Honestly I wish I could say more but I don’t wanna spoil anything else for anyone that hasn’t watched past the barricade episode yet!

Captain Skrigh belongs to Goose and you can find their art of her here:

http://gooseworx.deviantart.com/art/Captain-Skrigh-574543970

  Credit: Johan Persson

There is no doubt that within the theatre community, brand new musical & Juliet is one of the most eagerly anticipated shows to open this year. The musical which stars Hamilton’s Miriam-Teak Lee in the eponymous role, uses the extensive back catalogue of music producer Max Martin, to tell the story of what happened if Juliet decided there was a life after Romeo and Juliet and decided that Paris is the place to be. The book by David West Read, tells us the story of how Juliet decides that life means more to her than dying for the one she thinks she loves.

Ahead of the show’s London opening in November, the show has been wowing audiences at Manchester Opera House since mid September and if the show I saw on October 1, 2019 then London audiences will be in for a real treat next month.

Although there is only one original song “One More Try” in the show, the re-orchestrations of the songs at the hands of Bill Sherman create a new twist on some incredibly memorable, and nostalgic songs and at no point did I feel that I was watching a traditional “jukebox musical” and that is due in no small part to the exceptional directing talent of Luke Sheppard (In The Heights).

West End stalwart Oliver Tompsett (We Will Rock You, Wicked, Rock of Ages, Kinky Boots), plays William Shakespeare who is debuting the first performance of Romeo and Juliet to a challenging audience after making a memorable entrance and Cassidy Janson (Beautiful, Man of La Mancha) stars as Anne Hathaway, Shakespeare’s wife who makes him reconsider his “shit” ending.

Tompsett is perfectly cast as Shakespeare, and his cheeky and clever Shakespeare is definitely not the bading, ruff wearing image we are used to seeing. He has exceptional chemistry with Janson, and there are times where you can’t decide whether you want to slap him or hug him. Of course Tompsett’s voice is nothing short of perfect, with the opening number “Larger Than Life” showing off his vocals perfectly, his duet with Janson “As Long as You Love Me” is one of the tearjerkers of the show, and of course hearing Tompsett rock out in “It’s My Life” is pure pleasure. Tompsett’s Shakespeare is definitely not a one dimensional caricature, and we definitely see Shakespeare as a slightly flawed human who pours himself into his work at the potential exclusion of Anne.

Janson is a joy to watch both as Anne Hathaway, and as Juliet’s new best friend April who helps her to find the way to secure her own happiness. Janson has a fabulous comic touch and she has some of the funniest lines in the show, and the scenes between Juliet and her friends are just a joy to watch. Janson blew the roof off the theatre with her rendition of the Celine Dion classic “That’s the Way It Is.” Whilst Lee (and Juliet) is no doubt the star of the show, it feels like Janson and her characters are the true heart of the show, and some of her scenes with Tompsett will bring a tear to your eye.

Joining Janson’s April as one of Juliet’s friends is Arun Blair-Mangat (Angels in America, Leave to Remain, In The Heights, Kinky Boots) as May who is always there for Juliet and is willing to throw away their own chance at love for their best friend. Blair-Mangat is as always heart wrenchingly amazing, and May is a truly fabulous character and at no point does May feel like a stereotype, or a reason to be mocked. May’s relationship with Juliet is something that everyone needs, a friend who has their back and there is a lovely emotional connection between the pair, however their group is not without its comedic elements which Blair-Mangat excels at as can be seen in songs such as “I Kissed a Girl”. Blair Mangat is a true vocal powerhouse with two of what I feel are some of the many unforgettable songs within the show; “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” had the audience drawn in totally with an emotional rawness that Blair-Mangat creates effortlessly and it reduced me to a total puddle of tears and “Whataya Want From Me” shows a new side to his vocal range that I wasn’t used to hearing, and I need to hear more rock spring forth from his stunning vocals. I truly believe that Blair-Mangat’s role could see him receive nods when awards season comes round next year.

Tim Mahenderan, who plays Francois, is just exceptional and a shining talent with songs such as his duets with Blair-Mangat and Lee. I can’t wait to hear what Mahenderan will do next, and I have no doubt he has a bright and glittering future ahead of him. His emotional scenes are just amazing and you end the show rooting for Francois’s happiness just as much as Juliet’s.

Double Olivier Award winner David Bedella (Jerry Springer the Opera, The Rocky Horror Show, In The Heights) stars as Francois’s father Lance, who is blustering and pompous who is also an old flame of Juliet’s nurse, played by the sublime Melanie La Barrie (Wicked). Songs such as “Shape of My Heart” reminded me of what a wonderful voice and range Bedella has. Bedella’s comic side is definitely allowed to fly free in the role of Lance, and I had to pick my jaw off the floor (in the best possible way) watching Bedella and La Barrie frolicking around a bedroom whilst singing a mash up of “Teenage Dream” and “Break Free”.

In a similar vein, I never knew that I needed to see a “Bois Band” comprising Tompsett, Blair-Mangat, Mahenderan, Bedella, and Jordan Luke Gage (Bat Out of Hell) who sing and dance their way through “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)”, but now I’ve seen it I want to watch it again, and again.

Gage, plays Romeo who we only really see at the end of Act One, when he arrives in a blaze of glory rocking to “It’s My Life” and determined to win back the most recent woman he loved. This version of Romeo is vapid, dense and in the words of Anne Hathaway “a douche”. Gage’s voice is something special and his duet with Lee “One More Try” is gorgeous, and although his Romeo is anything by perfect he is still a guy trying to do the right thing.

There is one true star of the show and that is Miriam-Teak Lee as Juliet, a modern girl who isn’t willing to let a failed relationship define her life, and with the help of her friends she will discover who she is. Lee’s performance is truly of another level of power and awesome raw talent from her pared back version of “…Baby One More Time” to her theatre grabbing rendition of “Roar” which is undoubtedly the anthem of this show. There is not one song that she doesn’t fail to deliver on and her voice is truly of the most exceptional I have ever had the honour to listen to. The mash up “Problem/Can’t Feel My Face” with Lee and Gage is one of the most inventive reimaginings of the songs in the show. If Lee does not receive an Olivier Nomination for her role in the show, then I will wonder what is truly wrong with the world. Lee deserves every praise for the way that she becomes the centre of the show without making it a one woman show, yet standing tall in her own diva worthy way.

The “Company of Players” are one of the tightest I have seen in a long time, with a special mention to Grace Mouat (Six), and Jocasta Almgill (Dreamgirls, West Side Story, In The Heights) who plays the almost villainous Lady Capulet; they are both brilliant and bring a new level to the show.

The choreography from Jennifer Weber is clever, and in total keeping with the vision that has been created and the company execute it impeccably. Paloma Young’s costumes are unexpected but work so well with feel of the show, and the costumes never feel out of place or jarring to the action that is taking place on stage at the time. Soutra Gilmour’s set design in conjunction with the lighting designed by Howard Hudson create the varying worlds of Verona and Paris in a way that was totally unexpected and the mash up of period and more modern makes it even more interesting. I certainly found myself looking at so many details of the stage before the show and in the interval which is not something that happens all that often.

At the end of the show, the entire audience is on its feet and quite rightly so, because & Juliet is the musical we have been waiting for to show us all that there is more to a person than the person they fall in love with and that we are ok no matter what. I can’t wait to see this show again and again, because this show deserves to run for a long time.

Check out the gallery of official production photos below:

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Credit: Johan Persson

Credit: Johan Persson

Credit: Johan Persson

Credit: Johan Persson

Credit: Johan Persson

Credit: Johan Persson

Credit: Johan Persson

Credit: Johan Persson

Credit: Johan Persson

Credit: Johan Persson

& Juliet is currently playing at Manchester Opera House until October 12, and will open at London’s Shaftesbury Theatre on November 19 with previews starting on November 2. Tickets for both venues can be purchased via the show’s official website.

& Juliet Roars With Sass, Shakespeare and A Second Chance At Life There is no doubt that within the theatre community, brand new musical & Juliet is one of the most eagerly anticipated shows to open this year.