Every Film I Watch In 2023:

143. Night/Curse Of The Demon (1957)

#10: Kate Bush - Hounds Of Love

Released - 24 Feb 1986

Highest UK Chart Position - #18

First Heard - on release, incessantly

If Abba were my brother’s first musical obsession, Kate Bush was the first that I caught from start to finish. Again, in my role as captive listener, I was subjected to all of her records in great depth and, once more, they shaped my still unformed brain in unpredictable and alarming ways. Hounds Of Love was the first album that came out during his hardcore Kate Bush period and, coincidentally, I have an extremely strong emotional reaction to it to this day. Is it just a great record? Or are these the effects of a more sinister form of conditioning that I still don’t fully understand? No doubt expensive studies might fathom the truth of this question but, in any case, the title track is my favourite Kate Bush single and so it takes its place in the 50.

One of his wider obsessions was to track down all the sources of her inspiration, so it’s a surprise that we never saw Night Of the Demon, the film that provides Hounds Of Love with its opening lines. But whatever its relevance here, it’s important to note that “it’s in the trees! It’s coming!” Is a kick ass sample and the best intro to any song in the list. Kate’s vocal is similarly great: having tamed the occasionally am-dram delivery of her early records into a kind of dense, melodramatic holler, she turns Hounds Of Love into a movie in itself, a figurative journey into the fear of love. Every moment is acted out as if she’s in imminent danger, tho there’s an ambiguity which gives the song its emotional charge: the meanings get flipped, the flight becomes pursuit.

But it’s the cellos that hit me the hardest: every time they begin to plug away, I’ll often end up bursting into tears (it’s the same with the violins on Cloudbusting, but I digress). The first time this happened was about 15 years ago, when I hadn’t listened to it for about a decade: it took me by surprise then but it hasn’t relented much since. I’m not sure what it means to be honest: maybe just that Hounds Of Love is a remarkable record that taps a deep well of nostalgia. Or perhaps one day I’ll have an episode of recovered memory and find out exactly what I endured in those dark days of late 1985, when this song filled the house relentlessly for weeks on end. But in the absence of evidence, I’ve formed my own suspicion: I think it might be just that I don’t know what’s good for me either.

rockhall

Inductee @katebushmusic created a unique space in rock with her lush soundscapes, radical experimentation, literary themes, sampling, and ability to captivate audiences and inspire countless musicians. For the latest on #RockHall2023 Induction, subscribe to our e-newsletter today from the link in bio.

KATE  BUSH

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A spellbinding visionary, the singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and producer Kate Bush created a unique space in rock. She used lush soundscapes, radical experimentation, literary themes, sampling, and theatricality to captivate audiences and inspire countless musicians. 

Kate Bush steered the course of her career from its infancy, fighting her record label for control of her eclectic musical aesthetic and maintaining control by establishing a home recording studio and publishing and management companies for her work. The Emily Brönte-inspired debut single “Wuthering Heights” from inaugural album The Kick Inside (co-produced by Pink Floyd’s David Gilmour) made Bush an overnight sensation and the first female artist to reach Number One on the U.K. charts with a self-written song. The album was soon followed by Lionheart and Bush’s only concert tour, which combined music, dance, theater, poetry, mime, burlesque, and magic. Described by the press as an “extraordinary, hydra-headed beast,” the tour was cited by Elton John as “a benchmark for people’s shows in the future.” 

  

Following a 12-year hiatus, Kate Bush released the critically acclaimed double album Aerial (2005), at once multilayered, experimental, and genre-breaking. In 2014, she returned to the stage for a concert residency at London’s Hammersmith Apollo. Tickets sold out in 15 minutes, and the ensuing acclaim drove eight of her albums to chart simultaneously – another first for women in rock. In 2022, the TV show Stranger Things prominently featured Bush’s emotional 1985 song “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God),” ushering in yet another Kate Bush renaissance and creating a new generation of fans. The song shot to Number One on the U.K. singles chart and into the Top Ten in the U.S., while Spotify streams of the song increased 9,000 percent. 

Kate Bush and her entrancing vocals have influenced artists ranging from Johnny Rotten to Tori Amos to Big Boi. Bush threw open doors for female artists to experiment more radically with their music, image, and theatricality, inspiring Björk, Solange, St. Vincent, and numerous others. She is not only a rock superstar, but a legend. 

Selected discography:  

“Wuthering Heights,” The Kick Inside(1978)

• “Wow,” Lionheart (1978)

• “Babooshka,” Never for Ever (1980)

• The Dreaming (1982)

• “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God),” “Cloudbusting,” “Hounds of Love,” Hounds of Love (1985)

• “This Woman’s Work,” The Sensual World (1989)

• “King of the Mountain,” Aerial (2005)

• “Among Angels,” 50 Words for Snow (2011)  

  

Nominee: Kate Bush  

My dear Queen expert 💛 I'd like to know the story behind A Winter's Tale and Mother Love. When were them recorded? All what i know is that Freddie said he'd come back and finish Mother Love but he couldn't and Brian finished it.

Thank you so much sweetie💕💋

Mother Love

Oof, this one breaks my heart, I can honestly barely listen to it (similar with Show Must Go On).

So, Brian and Freddie wrote Mother Love together, although I get the impression that Brian largely wrote it. However, the theme and words were clearly in relation to the end of Freddie's life and just wanted to be cared for and protected. At the time he was hounded by the press quite badly. If you look at the Wikipedia articles for both songs there is actually a great amount of info there, such as all the music samples making an appearance in Mother Love. From a song Freddie recorded as Larry Lurrex, to a bit of every single Queen song fast-forwarded.

I've personally always been fascinated by the baby at the end, because to me that speaks of reincarnation. I don't know if that was the intention, to be honest. If anyone has any sources where Brain may have addressed that (ahaha, I just realised what I did there), send them my way, because I'm curious.

Anyway, it was written during a time (May 1991) when Freddie had asked Brian to just keep giving him something to sing, and Brian said he'd literally written the song on scraps of paper, one line at a time. And they'd record it, one line at a time, three takes each, sort of thing. Before they could get to the third verse, Freddie was too exhausted to carry on and said he needed to take a break. As we all know, he never returned to finish it as his health deteriorated too much after that.

A Winter's Tale

Freddie wrote this one in Montreux, inspired by looking out of the window in early 1991. It was recorded shortly before Mother Love, and in a way very uncharacteristic for Freddie apparently. He did it all in one session, keyboards and vocals, when usually he would insist that the musical arrangement should be done before the vocal arrangement. But he was clearly aware that he was running out of time. Brian recorded his guitar solo years later, at home, I believe.

Here is part of an interview with the sound engineer who worked with them at the time:

"The most obvious memory for me is the day I spent with Freddie by myself, well, just himself and me in here, when it wasn't the last vocal that he recorded - that was Mother Love - it was A Winter's Tale, which is the one before, only a few days before in April or May, I think it was, 1991. Everybody was away and Dave Richards the Engineer was ill, so Freddie said, 'Well, you'll have to record me". So it was just him standing there, singing in the control room, and me recording him, and that was a very special day because it was one of the last vocals he ever recorded.

Freddie and I knew each other from years before because he'd been here many times from, well, in the late '80s, so at least 3 or 4 years him coming here, so it was fine. He knew me, I knew him, so it was very easy communication, and he was always very nice to me.

He sang amazingly even though he was struggling physically. He'd be conserving his energy to try and get the most power out of his voice, which is there on the records. You can hear it on Winter's Tale and Mother Love.

But it wasn't a sad time. People think it may have been sad, but I mean although we knew he was ill, everybody in the Queen organisation, the band and everyone else around and mostly Freddie, just said, "Look, forget all that. I'm just going to focus on the music and do everything I can." And everyone else was supporting the man and doing the same. Just forgetting about het bad stuff and focussing on the good stuff."

You can read the full interview on Brian's website here.

Hey have you heard these 50 songs from 2019

I really enjoyed this last year so going to give it another go for ‘19. I put quite a lot of thought into what actually a ‘song of the year’ for me when I was first constructing and then heavily editing the playlist that came to be my Top 50 of 2019. I think the most important thing is that above all it’s a track that I’m glad exists, sometimes this is because of the songwriting or composition, sometimes the performance, sometimes the lyrical importance and sometimes just because it sparks joy.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6bFJOjL8b8Zc2s5r1oJbsk?si=UJdqSXOTR3SQ8D3IwcmV2g

Explanations for each tracks inclusion below the fold…

100 gecs - 800db cloud 100 gecs channel a mix of Crystal Castles and Sleigh Bells with a Death Grips level appreciation for noise. It’s an absolute rush and that outro is just absurd.

Natalie Evans - Always Be Natalie Evans soft melody and sing song vocals are sublimely sweet on this heartfelt track of lost love, longing and nostalgia.

Petrol Girls - Big Mouth “If you fight back or disagree you’re the one with the fucking problem” this hits home, hard. Big Mouth is a rallying cry to speak out against oppression and discrimination, to raise you’re voice and be heard, not to be controlled.

Charli XCX ft. Lizzo - Blame it on your Love Charli has a midas touch when it comes to pop, combine that with Lizzo who has just about been the most fun thing in music this year and you’ve got a 10/10 banger.

Poppy - BLOODMONEY Poppy’s music just keeps going further down the rabbit hole. Originally playing with blending elements of nu-metal with bubblegum pop, she now seems to have transcended genre altogether to create whatever BLOODMONEY is, it’s absolutely ridiculous and I love it.

Body Hound - Bloom Get on that GROOVE! So proggy it hurts, this track from Body Hound is a technical wonderland of metamorphosing rhythms, gargantuan riffs, and just the tastiest of chord progressions.

Can the Sub_Bass speak - Algiers Word of warning, this is not an easy listen. A freefall tumble through genre and tone accompanies a stream of consciousness monologue full of racism, prejudice and political and artistic critique.

Elohim - Buckets Buckets is an onslaught of trap influences, emotional outbursts and aggressive distortion. I’m a big fan of this sound.

VUKOVI - C.L.A.U.D.I.A I know very little about VUKOVI as a band, but that riff is absolutely massive and this track has been a constant throughout my year on that basis alone.

Show Me The Body - Camp Orchestra Apparently more hardcore bands should use Banjos, because this is a damn good sound. Slowly building from a single bass line this track builds into a powerful demolishing force.

clipping. - Club Down Having thoroughly proven themselves able to do afro-futurist scifi on the Hugo nominated Splendor and Misery, clipping. now turn their considerable talents to horror core and unsurprisingly nail it. Daveed’s flows are tight as ever as he brings to life a decaying city backed by tortured screams.

Dream Nails - Corporate Realness YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB. WORK IS NOT YOUR LIFE. YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU MUST DO IN ORDER TO SURVIVE. Dream Nails are great and exactly what we need right now.

ControlTop - Covert Contracts This track positively bristles with an anxious energy. A fitting sound for the subject of the information overload we find ourselves locked into everyday.

Cherry Glazerr - Daddi There’s an icy coolness to ‘Daddi’, a disconnected sarcasm that falls away to reveal the anger and torment in the chorus, it’s a masterful bit of emotional storytelling through musical tone.

The Physics House Band - Death Sequence I Listening to Physics House latest release, the Death Sequence EP feels like a physical journey. This opener is a perfect example of this, as you’re plunged straight into a heady and disorienting mix of rhythms and counter-melody’s, the Sax guiding you through the turbulence until you land in a placid midsection, before that bass riff drags you forward through rhythmic breakdowns into an absolutely absurd brain melting saxophony and then it just keeps on going from there…

Witching Waves - Disintegration I saw WW back in the early summer, they were a bassist down so it was just a guitar and drums duo. They started with this track and it was one of the most pure punk things I’ve experienced, drummer/vocalist Emma Wigham bashing the absolute shit out of her kit . A great no-nonsense lo-fi banger.

Lingua Ignota - DO YOU DOUBT ME TRAITOR Another, not particularly easy listen here. DO YOU DOUBT ME TRAITOR is a dark and angry brooding track, building in intensity to release the primal rage, fear and horror of the abused. Its deeply chilling and instantly arresting. This track and the entire CALIGULA album stands as an absolute must listen.

Carly Rae Jepsen ft. Electric Guest - Feels Right I love the instrumentation on this one, those chunky piano chords and screaming guitar lift the track out and make it the highlight of an already great album to me.

Orla Gartland - Figure it out Dialing back the intensity slightly, Orla chronicles the frustrations of having to deal with someone in your life who you’re done with. The choruses burst forth in beautifully fuzzy explosions of noise. That vocal flair at the start of the final chorus is chef kiss.

Battles - Fort Greene Park Battles are at their best when they keep things simple. This is evident on 2019′s Juicy B Crypts which features some incredibly cluttered moments, but this just makes Fort Greene Park stand out all the more. A delightfully spacious piece of math rock, from some of the best in the business.

Dogleg - Fox Boy howdy, do I love me some midwest emo. Catharsis in musical form, it just makes me want to mosh my troubles away like I’m 16 again.

Tørsö - Grab A Shovel Tørsö go hard, I can appreciate that. An absolutely brutal track about the destructive power of depression and self-loathing.

“Pijn & Conjurer playing Curse These Metal Hands” - High Spirits “We were like, are we Pijn and Conjurer, or are we Curse These Metal Hands? I think we’ve settled with ‘we are Pijn and Conjurer playing Curse These Metal Hands’ …whatever that means!“ what it means is one of the most joyously triumphant pieces of metal music I’ve ever heard. Some of the guitar lines in this absolutely soar.

Lizzo - Juice Lizzo has won 2019, her message of self love, acceptance and body positivity has won her both critical and cultural acclaim and permeates her music in a way that makes it impossible to not love.

COLOSSAL SQUID, AK Patterson - Kick Punch Colossal Squid is the name given to Three Trapped Tigers drummer, Adam Betts’ experimental project. After a solo album of percussive wizardry Betts has now teamed with vocalist AK Patterson to give us something else entirely.

Evan Greer - Liberty Is A Statue Evan Greer uses the a folk punk sound to deliver an essay on the damaging influences of cis-normativity and social inequality. Of course I like this one.

Taylor Swift - Lover I wasn’t on board with this song for a fair while, but then I kept listening to it and kept coming back to it because of a roughly 50 second section which ties the track and the whole album together. Yeah, this is on here purely for the bridge, which is just beautiful.

Dodie - Monster Monster is an incredibly well written and delivered study on how perception changes with resentment and it makes me cry.

The Y Axes - Moon Moon is a delightfully dreamy piece of pop that glitters with infectious melodies, it’s lyrics a blissful embracing of cosmic nihilism, need I say more?

Ezra Furman - My Teeth Hurt My teeth hurt is a song about tooth ache, about that pain you carry with you everywhere and can’t get rid of, that ruins your days and and is one hell of a mood. Yeah it’s about gender dysphoria.

Nervus - No Nations Speaking of things being a mood, this track hits the nail squarely on the head.

Cultdreams - Not My Generation "Everyone ignores me Unless I’m on a stage talking Because they put me on a pedestal And pretend I’m just performing“ Lucinda Livingstone calls out the misogyny in our culture with a singular ferocity.

Lil Nas X - Old Town Road If there’s one song that’s dominated 2019 this is it right here. Who ever had the idea of putting that NIN Ghosts sample to a trap beat and cowboying over the top of it is an absolute genius.

King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Planet B It’s impossible to predict where King Gizzard’s sonic influences are going to take them next I doubt even they know half the time. Whatever they turn their hand to though they do it as if they mastered the sound decades ago Planet B is an all out thrash track with a strong environmental message.

Kesha - Rich, White, Straight Men Okay, I’m about to compare Kesha to John Lennon here but HEAR ME OUT… As ‘Imagine’ asked us to consider a world without conflict or capitalism, Kesha now posits that we should tear up our conceptions of our society based on its formation by a privileged group and imagine what kind of utopia could be built if we gave the underprivileged and minority groups a say.

Allie X - Rings A Bell The chorus here sounds like it could have been off Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories, and I’m all about that sound. Combined with Allie X’s dreamlike vocals make this a certified bop.

Poly-Math - Sensors in Everything Sensors in Everything is a beast of a track spanning over 14 minutes of absurdly dense prog. Having recently enlisted keyboardist Josh Gesner. Polymath make use of the new sounds and textures available to them, at times imitating a sort of Hammond sound not unlike John Lord to the chaotic maelstrom of noise.

Calva Louise - Sleeper Big hooks on this one. Sleeper has a confident swagger to it’s sound which stands apart for the bands previous work. It’s an absolutely huge track.

Slipknot - Solway Firth Slipknot didn’t disappoint after the tease of 2018′s “All Out Life”, following up with an album which blended old and new aspects of their sound to create one of their best to date. Solway Firth is a perfect example of this matching the punishing heaviness of Iowa with the melody driven sound of All Hope Is Gone.

Clt Drp - Speak To My Seeing Clt Drp perform live was one of my highlights of the year. The filthy guitar tones, powerhouse vocals tight as heck drumming and the _grooves. _Absolutely like nothing else I’ve seen. Just an incredible band that deserve so much more recognition.

Black Country, New Road - Sunglasses Black Country, New Road released two tracks this year and now I just want more. Dense wordy lyricism plays off against ever evolving instrumentation to present a raw cut of emotional storytelling.

Her Name Is Calla - Swan Her Name Is Calla are a band that have always been on the edge of my radar, my Dad is very fond of them and saw them live a couple of years ago, but never went back to relisten to any of their stuff, then they started an album with this. I was sold instantly.

black midi - Talking Heads Talking Heads (the band) are an obvious inspiration on this track. Both David Byrne’s vocal style and the Talking Heads penchant for sharp angular melodies are on show here. But given an extra ounce of chaos through Black Midi’s delivery.

Amanda Palmer - The Ride The ride is ten minutes of bundling up all your fears and anxieties of where we are and where we’re going and just, accepting them as part of the ride. Written off the back of a prompt from Amanda asking her fans what they were afraid of right now.

Kim Petras - There Will Be Blood Okay, let’s have some out of season spookiness. Love the squelchy synths on this, there’s a huge amount of energy on this track and with it’s commitment to the horror conceit it makes for a super fun bop.

Kate Nash - Trash Kate Nash’s sound is like bathing pure nostalgia,here she spins the toxic-relationship narrative central to her work to deliver a bigger story about humanity’s, quite literally toxic relationship to our planet.

American Football & Hayley Williams - Uncomfortably Numb The other side of the “midwest emo” coin. A melancholic song built on a soft bed of arpeggiated chords and clean harmonics, Uncomfortably Numb is a heartbreaking track of losing everything and of cycles persisting thorugh generations. Employing the clever metatextual trick of referencing Pink Floyd’s comfortably Numb to mirror the generational similarities.

Glenn Branca - Velvet and Pearls Disclaimer, Glenn Branca was a musical hero of mine, his approach to music and composition being solely responsible for influence a vast number of my favourite bands. Released posthumously, Velvet and Pearls is taken from a live performance by Branca’s ensemble and perfectly captures the sense of sonic disorientation, conjuring aural illusions through an assault of intricately crafted noise. It’s an exhilarating piece that should be played as loud as humanly possible.

Brutus - War The raw emotional strength of Stefanie Manneart’s vocals instantly made me pay attention when I first heard this track. Then the song exploded into a barrage of riffs and breakneck drumming.

Valiant Vermin - Warm Coke Another slice of throwback pop, Valiant Vermin proved with “Online Lover” how much of an ear she has for pop and has proven it once again with Warm Coke. Is a real good bop.

———

Welp there it is, 50(+1) songs, I had to limit myself to one track per artist in the main 50 because according to Spotify I listened to [checks notes] 1082 new artists this year. There are a small handful of tracks I wanted to highlight from the same artists though as they offer something quite different to the tracks in the playlists, so here they are quickly with 3 word descriptions.

Petrol Girls - Skye (dead dog, sad) Amanda Palmer - Voicemail for Jill (Talk about abortion) Ezra Furman - I Wanna be Your Girlfriend (Trans Torch Song) Battles ft Jon Anderson & Prairie WWWW - Sugar Foot (Batshit Prog Insanity) Poppy - Choke (Dark Minimalist Pop) Show Me The Body - Forks and Knives (Anxious nightmare punk) Lingua Ignota - CALIGULA (the whole album.)

———

Closing Statement

Cultdreams - Statement

There has been a shadow over the entertainment industry the latter half of this decade. Whether film, music, TV or video games, the late 2010′s are filled with stories of people coming forward to bravely tell their stories about being abused and manipulated by men in positions of power. The #metoo movement as it’s come to be known has been a powerful force in giving marginalised people a voice and the ability to call out oppressors and in starting the groundwork to root out the misogyny in the seats of power, but this is a battle far from won.

While there are thousands of stories out there I want to focus on one in particular.

In 2016 a number of women spoke out about various forms of abuse by a well-known musician in the punk scene. It’s now over three years later and this group of women are in the midst of a long fought claim of defamation from this musician. If this case goes through it sets a precedent for silencing marginalised voices in the industry. They have been fighting for so long and with no legal aid available for the case they have had to finance their defense from their own pockets.

This is where Solidarity Not Silence comes in. Solidarity not silence is a crowdfunding effort to help take the case to trial without the women bankrupting themselves entirely so that they don’t have to give in to this mans demands.  You can read more about Solidarity not Silence and make a donation (if you feel so inclined) here: https://www.crowdjustice.com/case/solidaritynotsilence/

You can also follow them on twitter here https://twitter.com/solnotsilence

(PDF) The Character Of Music Genres

Throughout the United States people are obsessed with all forms of music, however have you ever ever questioned which musical genres are most popular during which areas. Americana; the music in regards to the working class. The hopes and goals of the free American individuals. Driving rock that you could hear in bars and stadiums alike. Jazz, rock or classical are terms regularly used to distinguish between different genres" of music. However they is also described as completely different styles". In that sense, style" would denote the more basic and genre" the more specific characteristics of the music concerned. Be that as it might, it's useful to regard genre" as an outline of the social function of music.

As an instance you are in a shop that's enjoying music and you want to know the identify of the tune or who's singing it. Simply hold down the House button on your iOS machine. Inform Siri Shazam this" and bretedments777471.wikidot.com Siri will give you the track title and artist. Warning: you would possibly lose a whole hour to this… Each Noise at As soon as is a one-web page map of playable audio samples for more than 1500 musical genres, from deep tech house to Finnish metallic to easy jazz to geek people to klezmer to deep opera.

In 2017, more DJs took advantage of the one detail that makes their artwork kind truly unique: they'll play anything. Nina Kraviz, regardless of the absurd controversy it as soon as brought on her, continued colouring exterior the strains, be it with a hundred and fifty BPM techno or straight up drum & bass, on the principle stage at EXIT Competition or in room one at Unsound's Lodge Forum. Avalon Emerson, armed with wildly eclectic music on impeccably organized USB sticks, drifted seamlessly from straight four-4 into hip-hop and R&B. On the final morning of Sustain-Launch, PLO Man appeared intent on encompassing as a lot as possible of all the panorama of digital music in one set, with separate chapters devoted to jungle, garage, deep home, dub techno and ambient. Rock and pop bands use the identical quantity of instrumentation on stage, which is normally two guitars, one set of drums, and one bass guitar. One other similarity is the variety of musicians on stage which includes: vocals, guitar players, bass player, drum participant, and again vocals. The last similarity is the way both type bands perform. Both styles carry out with a robust stage presence, being very energetic on stage. Some examples of bands which might be pop bands and are confused as rock bands are: ‘N Sync, Backstreet Boys, and Justin Bieber. Music in America is at the moment in an interesting place. The internet has made it easier than ever for artists to release their music for the world to hear, but on the same time it might probably feel like a smaller group of artists is capturing the highest of the charts. Still, with regards to touring exhibits and local scenes rock and nation musicians are serving to to carry followers together all throughout the country. While the charts is likely to be dominated by music that's streamed over telephones and computer systems the local concert venues are filled with people searching for that traditional combination of drums, a guitar, and a singer that can make them really feel something. Solo: This can be used anytime, ideally after a round or two of refrain and verse, to add just a little jam feel. Used loads in jazz and can really create cool sections in music. When you find yourself thinking of live performance Solo components are always unbelievable, even if it's not in your released monitor. we fell in love with this music, and it's not one thing you typically grow out of, so long as the music evolves with you. and as long as there is a demand, there will likely be like minded folks supplying.

Eminem!? Eminem is amazing. I like to recommend looking into his music. My favourite genres are Various, Grunge, and Rock. Eminem has meaningful music. I am okay with you not liking him, but categorizing him with the others talked about? No. Just. No. Before John Lennon and http://www.audio-transcoder.com Paul McCartney's songwriting partnership turned the dominant drive of ‘60s fashionable music, there was Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller, who were a hit-making duo in rock & roll's earliest days. Elvis made their song Hound Dog"—recorded quite a few times by numerous artists as early as 1953—famous in 1956, and when Presley's new film 'Jailhouse Rock' got here out the next year, they had a monitor ready just for him.

Music based upon a rhythm style, which is characterized by regular chops on the backbeat, performed by a rhythm guitarist. Reggae is an African-Caribbean style of music developed on the island of Jamaica and carefully linked to the faith of Rastafarianism (though not universally popular amongst its members). Some school students discover that one of the best music to study by is so-called put up-rock music. It's a numerous genre that includes many bands that focus totally on enjoying instrumental music with none vocals. Nevertheless, some bands do embrace restricted vocals with hard-to-discern lyrics. In consequence, their songs typically present perfect background music for learning since they do not draw quite a lot of consideration to themselves.The effect of various musical styles on serum cortisol levels, blood stress, and heart fee is presently unknown. Yes, we have mentioned this earlier than- however ya'll do not listen so we are going to say it again. What you are calling EDM falls below the umbrella term of electronic dance music - but it surely's not EDM. The rationale why, is that there is no EDM subgenre. Wait, you imply EDM isn't a subgenre of EDM? STUNNING. music a sort of contemporary electronic music that developed in the Nineteen Eighties, changing disco as the most well-liked form of dance music. It combines deep bass sounds with components that are sung or performed on a synthesizer.3. Tone and Intonation. Jazz musicians will be obsessive about their sound and their tone quality, however overall I'd say it's less a precedence than it's within the classical world. Sometimes jazz musicians additionally go for bigger fairly than higher on this regard, for the above-stated causes. this is nowhere close to a whole listing of musical genres… what about witch hop or s3rl… or comfortable hardcore… or future base. was just wanting to level that out… there is approach to much music for anyone but a big group of lots of to listing and research.

Backpack Playlist 5/27/19

I no longer have a radio show so this is where I’m gonna be posting my thoughts and playlists! Have fun, who cares. Apple Music/Spotify links at the bottom. Enjoy. 

“Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” - Kate Bush, Hounds of Love (1985, EMI)

A gay icon, not much to say beyond that. We love some extra as shit background vocals.

“Bags” - Clairo, Immunity (2019, Fader)

First single off Clairo’s new LP coming out at some point this year. Literally all I can think when I hear the guitar line in this song is Avril Lavigne, and I say that with the utmost respect and love. Big ups to VW alum Rostam for the production on this track and Danielle Haim for drums - does this mean Clairo is now part of the PC Music squad AND the VW-adjacent rap/indie rock squad??? Her career is definitely pretty strange so far, but I’m hype to see her blow up beyond the world of the Youtube algorithm chewing up and spitting out DIY music videos. This track is also kinda full circle for her - in her big Pitchfork feature last year, she talked about being starstruck after seeing one of the Haim sisters on a plane listening to SOPHIE, and now she’s got one of them on a track. We love growth.

“Kisses 2 My Phone” - Sega Bodega, self*care - EP (2018, NUXXE)

Lona (aka MANIIK aka BABY GAMELAN) shared this EP with me last year, and it’s been rattling around in my head ever since. Some glitchy trap beats and subtly depressing lyrics about sending kisses to your phone and losing love. Scottish experimental pop kid who gets in your ears and won’t leave.

“Even the Shadow” - Porches, Pool (2016, Domino)

A classic, both Pool and their newer album The House (2018, Domino) remind me of a very specific time in my life when I was spending 12 hours in the photo studio every other weeknight and played Porches on shuffle to get through it. Very sad stoner synthy alt-pop for gay kids with lots of insecurity but dreams of 2014 soft pale tumblr aesthetic escapism!!

“Hatin” - Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats, Anger Management (2019, Sugar Trap)

Remember when Rico was just a Soundcloud kid with a stellar remix of “The Race” under her belt?? When I first heard that track in the background of a friend from high school’s Instagram story, I literally dropped my phone trying to lyric search it to see who sang it. Big ups to Lafayette (a newly minted Howard University grad :,) ) for putting me on. Rico’s always been bffs with Kenny, so this collab record isn’t surprising, but I didn’t expect it to be this good!!! Very excited to see her blowing up on Tik Tok rn, maybe she’ll finally get what she’s owed. And she deserves more than just a 2 second cameo in the Old Town Road music video………

“Dig” - Lance Bangs, Lance Mountain - EP (2016, Citrus City)

Reminds me of screamy jangly indie rock from the summer after my first year when I lived in a commune and got a stick and poke from a friend who was three mojitos deep. Also, Citrus City is awesome and we love to support VA labels!!

“Livin’ On a Prayer” - Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet (1986, Vertigo)

Mostly putting this on here because it’s the ending soundtrack to a great little animated short film I watched recently called WORK (2009) by Michael Rianda. It’s a super 2009 short, but it’s fascinating because it feels like the aesthetic halfway point between Don Hertzfeldt’s Rejected (2000) and Bojack Horseman (2014-) style absurdity. It’s not the subtlest anti-capitalist cartoon out there, but it’s very cute and funny.

“20 Ghosts III” - Nine Inch Nails, Ghosts I-IV (2008, The Null Corporation)

Put this back to back with Bon Jovi because the weird guitar/vocal growls sound like the “Livin’ On a Prayer” digital doo-wops put through an insane pedal filter. Heard it for the first time when I was watching Laura Poitras’ documentary Citizenfour (2014) - she used it for the super haunting opening and closing scenes, and I can’t think of any better use for Trent Reznor’s sad garage dad phase guitar music.

“Guap” - Yaeji, Yaeji EP (2016, GODMODE)

No introduction necessary, hopefully. Gives me third year queer party vibes, and if you know what that means, congratulations. You’re part of an in-group now. Listen when you need subtle hype up music.

“Indica” - Dizzy Fae, Free Form Mixtape (2018, self-released)

When I showed a friend a picture of Dizzy Fae, their first response was that she’s probably from Amsterdam or Berlin or something and floats between secret clubs all week long before performing herself. She’s actually from Minnesota and is way younger than either of us assumed, so big ups to her for projecting the coolest vibes imaginable. Her vocal distortion is a little FKA Twigs, but she knows how to fuckin rap on the rest of the EP. Well worth a full listen.

“Flower Moon (feat. Steve Lacy)” - Vampire Weekend, Father of the Bride (2019, Columbia)

Best track on this new album, imo, but I can’t stop thinking about Vampire Weekend for a completely different reason. When this album came out, literally everyone was making fun of it for sounding like a Paul Simon redux. A lot of people praised it for the exact same reason lol. But Paul Simon’s relationship with cultural appropriation is a lot like Ezra Koenig’s, and not enough people have made that connection. Remember when Paul Simon broke the cultural boycott with Apartheid-era South Africa to make Graceland (1986)?? Everyone shit all over him for not only straight up taking South African music styles and centering himself in their vocal story, but doing it all in the midst of the largest cultural boycott in modern history. It’s a good album, I won’t pretend it’s not, but it’s deeply problematic and disappointed a lot of people who expected something better from a guy who knew what he was doing. Reminds me of 2008-2012 Vampire Weekend!! Anyway, listen to this track for Steve Lacy, if nothing else.

“Ur Phone” - boy pablo, Roy Pablo - EP (2017, self-released)

Another Youtube algorithm kid, boy pablo was in everyone’s feeds because this EP is the perfect summery shimmery gaze-y indie rock. His newer album is a little more uptempo than I personally like, but this track is *chef’s kiss*

“Can the Circle Be Unbroken” - The Carter Family, Can the Circle Be Unbroken: Country Music’s First Family (2000, Sony; original recording 1935)

Really not trying to wade into the country music discourse today, but this track is genuinely full of intense longing and sadness in a way that so clearly changed country/rock music and its relationship to the guitar.

“Before the World Was Big” - girlpool, Before the World Was Big (2015, Wichita)

Their new stuff fucking slaps, and seeing them come to terms with their gender identities is fucking beautiful!! But I always come back to these weird ass nursery rhymes. It’s literally just their harmonies and two guitars, and legend has it if you turn this up to full volume in your car and drive through your hometown, your unrequited high school crush will appear with their spouse and two kids just to rub it in.

“Vroom Vroom” - Charli XCX, Vroom Vroom - EP (2016, Vroom Vroom Recordings)

I mean. It’s Charli’s early work with SOPHIE, you’ve gotta just blast this shit and ruin someone’s life. The return to queer hyper pop over the past few years is the only thing sustaining my fucking mental health.

“Xternal Locus” - Chynna & Oklou, Single (2018, self-released)

Another track Lona played for me after I picked her up from work in DC. Lowkey enough to ***** to, highkey enough to **** to ;)

“Cinema” - Kero Kero Bonito, Totep - EP (2018, self-released)

KKB really did an about face with this record, but I still fucking love them. It’s still sunny and glittery pop, but with a chilled-out vibe. Their intense pop records are like the come up, and this is the chill smoke sesh the day after. Just vibey enough to let you chill out and kick back, but keeps you on your toes with some unexpected samples and glitchy moments.

“Jack the Ripper” - SadGirl, Breakfast for 2 - Single (2018, Suicide Squeeze)

We love surf rock, and that’s all I’m gonna say for this. You either vibe with it you’re bored as shit.

“watch you sleep.” - girl in red, Single (2019, self-released)

Music To Sleep To.

Playlists

19. Kate Bush - Hounds of Love (1985)

Kate Bush made a brief comeback recently, taking to the road for only the second time in her career to stage a dramatised version of The Ninth Wave, the song cycle that makes up this album’s second half. Whilst Bush has never really gone away – her output has become increasingly slow but unfailingly consistent – it definitely felt like she was some kind of mythical creature emerging from a self-imposed creative hibernation once again. It’s strange envisaging her in a contemporary environment, as she often seems like the human embodiment of the creative freedom and artistic idiosyncrasies of music in the late 70s and 80s. From her initial arrival as a prodigious teenager (under the tutelage of prog-rock legend Dave Gilmour), Bush was a bold presence on the music scene; creating literate pop rock with a flair for the theatrical and a sense of exuberant but sophisticated sexual liberation. Her biggest hits are absolutely ubiquitous, yet at the same time completely unique pop music oddities; full of expressive, yelping vocals, antiquated folk instrumentation and oblique lyrical references. Yet in spite of her high-brow ambitions, something about Bush’s music makes an instant connection with listeners, as evidenced by the huge international success of her first single ‘Wuthering Heights’ – even with it’s bizarre, swooping vocal that retells the story of it’s namesake novel and accompanying music video of bizarre interpretive dance in a field. 1985′s Hounds of Love stands as her creative and artistic pinnacle, her most melodic and accessible songs set to her most forward thinking production and artistic aspirations. Each half of the album is an individual suite, the first being titled The Hounds of Love and the B-side entitled The Ninth Wave. The first half contains some of her best loved songs, from the atmospheric surge of ‘Running up that Hill’ to the breathless melodrama of the title track; each is preoccupied with the excitement and turmoil that comes with love, in all its various guises. Opening with swirling synthesizers and pounding drums, ‘Running up that Hill’ begs for sexual openness and communication, a longing expressed plainly through the building tension and dramatic release of the chorus. The title track is jagged and frantic, as Bush confronts the fear of attachment in the face of overwhelming desire, whilst ‘The Big Sky’ and ‘Mother Stands for Comfort’ address our relationships with nature and family respectively. The heartbreaking ‘Cloudbursting’ closes out the first side over rhythmic cello pulses and martial drumming, as Bush spins the story of Peter Reich’s childhood memoir ‘A Book of Dreams’ into a poetic tragedy. As a collection of standalone songs it’s the strongest anywhere in Bush’s catalogue and it paves the way into the record’s more abstract, conceptual second half The Ninth Wave. Darker and more experimental, The Ninth Wave is a song cycle about someone lost at sea and trying to stay alive until the morning comes with a chance of rescue. Beginning with the stately piano ballad ‘And Dream of Sheep’, the tone gets increasingly bleak – ‘Under Ice’ brings mounting tension that is eventually broken with the jagged, ricocheting samples of ‘Waking the Witch’, a song where Bush duets with a demonic presence in a genuinely frightening burst of aural violence. ‘Jig of Life’ is a fiddle driven gallop toward daybreak, whilst ‘Hello Earth’ becomes slow and bleak as all hope begins to seem lost. Closing track ‘The Morning Fog’ finally brings the dawn with a moment of sweet catharsis; capping off not just the preceding story, but also an entire album steeped in emotional weight and musical complexity. Taken together, both sides define the enigma that is Kate Bush – on one hand emotive, expressive and melodic, but on the other oblique, literate and unwaveringly uncompromising. It’s hard to imagine a world today without her influence, how musicians as varied as Sinead O’Connor, Bjork, Bat for Lashes, Polly Harvey or Lily Allen could’ve staked out their claim as important musical figures without standing in the wake of her trailblazing musical vision and artistic integrity. Hounds of Love stands as her greatest expression of both of these things.

Also listen to: The Kick Inside, The Sensual World, Aerial

12 albums from 2016

These aren’t in any particular order. I have, and continue to, love them all. If I’d have listened to the Mammoth Weed Wizard Bastard album more often I reckon that would’ve got in too. Unfortunately I do a lot of listening to music in the car, and I’m perpetually late for work, and it’s impossible to drive at anything approaching the speed limit when you’re listening to an album by a band called Mammoth Weed Wizard Bastard.

Underworld - Barbara, Barbara We Face A Shining Future

Oh Underworld you've soundtracked many significant moments in my life from the 90s onwards, and as we both get older you keep reminding me that youth and fire in the belly aren't the only ingredients necessary for making vital music. Underworld have blown me away again with an album which finds them at their most intimate yet transcendent. To my mind that's the perfect balance to pitch on an album that takes its name from some of a husband's final words to his wife.

The lyrics to Low Burn ('Time, The first time, Blush, Be bold, Be beautiful, Free, Totally, Unlimited') could, in the wrong hands, all too easily find their way onto a platitudinous meme but they sound vital in the context of the tune, a cresting wave of synths, strings, bass throb and eventually Hounds of Love toms. The perspective shifts on the penultimate line to include, "Panic, craving, nothing... Time, the first time..." and it transforms the vocal from a call for the Living to one that seems to encompass life and death's full cycle. Played back to back with Nylon Strung, whose refrain 'I want to hold you, laughing' assumes a mantra like quality, the two tracks feel like a compellingly heartfelt plea to embrace utterly the short moments we have.

David Bowie - Blackstar

We will never see his like again. To some extent that’s probably true, but that’s because Rock n roll is now nearing the point of anachronism; it's passing is inevitable but not something to mourn. We can't be forever young and full of piss and vinegar and I think if you're determined to be 18 till you die you've set your sights pretty low. I actually hope that the future of expressive culture lies not solely in the hands of men and women on raised stages preaching to the masses but in increasingly indivisible hands and minds brought together and operating in the spaces where the real and virtual world blur. I hope it's a place where individuals come second to the product of expression. In short, I hope there isn't another David Bowie. I love the guy (as much as it's possible to love someone you've never met), but I hope that before too long we no longer require these figureheads to align ourselves with or against. I want his work to survive and be celebrated but I hope that the culture he sprung from baffles my descendants, because there's something rotten about our obsession with the shock of the new that is the third quarter of the 20th Century.

Jez: Look, Mark, I'm a musician, in case you've forgotten. I answer to a higher law, the law of "If it feels good, do it."

Mark: Oh, that's a great law, isn't it? What's that, Gaddafi's law?

Jez: It's the musician's law. Colonel Gaddafi could not lay down a bass hook, Mark. That should be clear even to you. - Peep Show (series 3 ep 5)

It was the shock of the new, not a Solomonesque cultural cache. And now the world is moving on. Not diminishing in talent over time as we speed further away from the grand ejaculation of the Big Rock n Roll Bang. Music hasn’t descended into an over reliance on auto tune, or computers. There isn’t a dearth of ‘real’ musicians learning ‘real’ instruments, learning their song ‘craft’… ‘organically’. The world is moving on. But still we get to listen to the fucking bullshit put about by old people convinced that the brief period when you’re most emotionally engaged in the cultural stimuli around you happens to be the apex of civilisation; and you should never underestimate a Baby Boomer’s ability to slip a pair of rose tinted blinkers over your eyes when you’re moving into the crawl space they’ve rented out to you from their burgeoning property portfolios (Hippies and Yuppies – only really distinguishable by the proportion of their income spent on joss sticks).

But back to Bowie. Guilty of none of the above. His capacity for re-invention and forward thinking doesn’t need re-iterating, the back catalogue up to and including Blackstar speaks for itself. This has turned into a rant but, sod it, I'm not in the mood for not ranting.

Here's to Mr Bowie, perhaps the ultimate rebuttal to those who cite ‘honesty’ or ‘realness’ or ‘rocknroooooll’ as fundamental to making ‘organic’, ‘real’ music and writing ‘proper’ songs. Who used artifice, and sounds regardless of source, was fearless and transcended rock n roll and took it higher than it deserves, subverted and utterly disregarded hoary, chin stroking… fuck it… boring… notions of what a song/album/concert could/should be.

And he left us with Blackstar. All of the above.

The Comet is Coming - Channel The Spirits

It's quite hard to believe that this is the sound of just sax, synths and drums (or ‘skins’, if I'm trying to be vaguely alliterative) recorded (to tape no less) in a three day burst of creativity. The sound, all pervading atmosphere and ethos at large here is worthy of the entire Arkestra, amped up and channelled through Funkadelic via Leftfield at their most furious. If they've heard Channel The Spirits, then I imagine that the house band at the Restaurant At The End Of The Universe are probably worried about losing their residency. Sub point: Slam Dunk In A Blackhole (which wouldn't sound out of place on either Blackstar or Kendrick Lamar's To Pimp A Butterfly) is my song title of the year.

Savages - Adore Life

Opening with the three chord grind of The Answer, Adore Life positively pulses and howls (the guitars sound feral) before dissolving into more cerebral territory for the title track. Jehnny Beth's lyrics run the gamut of love, turning the subject inside out fearlessly, never breaking eye contact. It's an intense, beautifully paced piece of work, packaged in monochrome but red blooded through and through.

David Holmes – Late Night Tales

I was introduced to Mr Holmes via one of those late 90s Chillout compilations. The culprit, 'Rodney Yates' is a journey borne on floating ride cymbal and strings a la Lalo Schriffin, which led me to its mother album 'Let's Get Killed'. Over the subsequent years, I've lapped up pretty much everything he's done, be it soundtracks (Out of Sight springs to mind), Psychedelic Funk mix albums (Come Get it I Got It), freaky Hip Hop (The Free Association) and this year, Late Night Tales and Unloved (more of the latter in a bit).

If there's a unifying thread to Mr Holmes' work, to these ears, it's the sense that he's a man outside of time. His work is peppered with samples and ideas from pretty much every decade since it became possible to capture and replicate sound. But this is not the back catalogue of a retro mongering throwback, it's a body of work that speaks of a genuine love of sound and an overarching desire to share it. I have no idea how much of his own music is created from samples and how much is original composition... the lines are utterly blurred and it makes for compelling listening.

In these interconnected times, the Internet, behaving like it's second syllable, drags the endless bounty of musical creativity onwards with ever decreasing regard for chronology and Holmes has a rare talent for sifting through the haul for treasures. If you're on the search for new artists then Mr Holmes beats Spotify or any app you could imagine hands down. He's arguably never been better than on Late Night Tales. It's a beautiful, torchlit collection made all the more striking by the fact that it's largely beatless and full of acoustic and vocal performances thematically linked to questions of love and loss. A truly mesmerising experience.

Church of The Cosmic Skull – Is Satan Real?

I've spent the last few years resolutely trying to engage with modern sounds after years in a proto metal, Sabbath indebted cul de sac (not a bad place to be admittedly, but it's good to shake things up every so often). This year however, I've found myself slipping back into my comfort zone, maybe as a way of escaping the hideousness of 2016, maybe because albums like Is Satan Real? are so fucking tasty. It combines the vocal, harmonic... There's no other way of saying this... pomp of Queen, hooks and almost jazzy flourishes that The Zombies would've actually stayed split up over and a deliciously sparse smattering of Sabbathian crunch. The fact that they only properly let rip on the closing 'Evil In Your Eye' is a masterstroke that has had me reaching for the repeat button, repeatedly.

Metronomy - Summer '08

Joe Mount is not cool, he’s no rock star and he doesn’t swagger, but the music he makes does, albeit in a slightly jerky, twitchy St Vitus on espresso way. When I was small I used to make myself spaceships out of bits of furniture, and go on adventures of the imagination… Listening to Metronomy has always felt a little like being invited into someone else's world of 'let's pretend'. One where the lightsabers are still visibly made from mismatched lego bricks and the Darth Vader helmet is quite obviously a plastic policeman's helmet with a flap of cardboard inexpertly sellotaped around the back. They aren’t smooth. They're not making music for parties in and around Jacuzzis and JD shaped swimming pools, but 40 minutes in the company of this collection of off kilter electro funk, break and disco beats and aching slow jams might allow you to pretend that you are. And, once again, the artifice is far more stimulating and appealing than reality.

Opeth - Sorceress

Opeth. Opeth. Opeth. I just bloody love them. That's a shit review, but it's basically how I feel. I guess that how you feel about Opeth depends on your views on progressive music. If you think it's wanky and unnecessary then you'd be forgiven for avoiding Opeth but I'd argue that you're mistaken, because there are very few elements included in an Opeth number that could be considered unnecessarily wanky. Dramatic shifts in tempo and volume and time signature abound on this, as all, their albums. The key to their success though, is that they're artfully and meticulously placed with an almost architectural eye for detail that seems set on firing the imagination, rather than bludgeoning the listener with its own cleverness. In the truest sense of the word Sorceress is a wonderful addition to an enviable back catalogue.

Hedvig Mollestad Trio – Black Stabat Mater

 I don't really know much about these ladies. I'm not sure whether to describe it as Jazzy proto metal or proto metallic jazz... maybe the latter. But it is fierce. Really fierce. The five tracks slowly descend from a (relatively) straight forward opening freak out on a jazzy, turning bluesy groove, to nightmarish feedback and clatter that could be mistaken for King Crimson being dissolved in a rusted cauldron of battery acid stirred by Trolls. Also: One of my favourite album covers in a long time.

Paul Simon - Stranger To Stranger

Received wisdom has it that 74 year olds should just rest on the canon, firing blanks, cashing in on the willingness of Mojo readers to part with their coin for ever more padded out and barrel scraping reissues. Paul Simon seems to think that the best way to get through one's three score and tens is to build an album from the beats up and then bring in a designer and player of micro tonal instruments to add layer upon layer of otherwordly sound. I like Paul Simon. A lot.

Unloved - Guilty of Love

A collaboration between Jade Vincent, Keefus Ciancia and David Holmes (him again). As with Late Night Tales, Unloved is a creature of the night, but this time with teeth, paraffin eyes and a taste for smoke in the back of the throat. Guitars twang, drums can be heard reverberating up blackened alleyways and the astonishing voice of Jade Vincent entices, admonishes, damns and defies. When A Woman is Around should be considered a classic, 'Truth is seldom found (by a man) when a woman is around... Lose that Cheshire grin, take it like a man, keep what's yours, leave me mine.' Although there's a dark 60s vibe at work here, it's beautifully realised, with the faultless songwriting, performance and production giving it an elusive timelessness.

Nissenenmondai - N/A

This album is a perfect example of singular and fearless exploration.

They're a power trio, but that's where the similarities to that particular trope end.

They veer closest to making minimalist Techno, but with guitar, bass and drums.

They sound like they're being beamed in from the future, and not necessarily a good one.

Some of the album is hard to listen to and imagine it having been created by humans.

That's why I love it.

$PAOG – NWAV ROADTRIP REPORT & PICS 

NWAV ROADTRIP REPORT & PICS Hello all, First off, let me preface this with, I normally write code, not papers, so please forgive any spelling or grammar issues. Second, thanks everyone for a fun trip. I’m not just talking about Florida and Ohio. I’m talking about entrance into stocks. That’s correct. Not a stock pro here, first decent investment in a stock really. I got lucky with about 700 shares of OWCP when a buddy suggested that this might be right up my alley and pointed me towards it. Then I started looking for another stock since it was apparent 700 shares wasn’t going to do me anything in the near future that I wasn’t going to get in a pay check anyway. So backup… Who am I and why should you listen to me? Well, I’m more or less just a regular guy, for all intents and purposes, nobody. I do however happen to have a unique perspective that made this stock stand out to me as something to watch. Day to day I am a computer programmer, writing software to analyze various business functions ranging from marketing performance and employee efficiency to customer shopping patterns and inventory allotment. Since I’m also a big fan of money, I build websites on the side, primarily medical since doctors generally always pay. Lawyers are good to, but I digress… I live in Missouri and as we are bordered on three sides here by states with MMJ in some form or another in the works, and have a sad, sad, little program here ourselves, we all know MMJ is on the way. In Mo we currently have very restrictive legislation, only two companies allowed to produce CBD oil for epilepsy, and few neurologists willing to recommend it yet. I can’t blame the doctors, nobody wants to be the first and risk their career. Med school isn’t cheap! To have those loans and not be able to practice… No thank you! Keep that in mind when you think about these doctors working with PAO already… Pioneers. That being said, doctors don’t always make the best lawyers, marketers, or technical security experts. Trust me when I say as we web developer, I’m really glad these doctors are doctors, not web developers, or even designers for that matter. Nor should they be! They went to school to be doctors. Most know their limitations but sometimes they try to build their own site. They normally soon realize that when looking at time to dollars while comparing to overall website quality and shortened development time, it was best to just pay a developer/designer to do it, and everyone ends up happier and more successful. Similarly, I’m sure I could drill a hole or two in someone’s spine, pack it with Plexiglas, and call it a Kyphoplasty. I mean that is in essence, what the procedure is, but I make no claims that the patient would be in either less pain, or breathing at the end of the procedure. Having PAO to lean on for knowledge in areas doctors simply aren’t going to know as much about such as legal or make use of PAO’s online tech, will allow smaller practices to explode and larger ones to dominate in this emerging medical sector as it spreads across the country. While the MMJ aspect alone makes linking up with PAO attractive to doctors here in Mo who want to be in ahead of the curve, it is just a portion of the benefits. My most recent build was for a pain management surgeon who is already offering several alternative medical solutions offered by PAO and others that are not. After seeing how much business my client does on alternative medicine though, it is clear that MMJ, while massive, is only a part of this equation here. With our current healthcare system in a state of uncertainty, many patients are finding themselves weighing their options as the cost with insurance for many procedures is just as unaffordable as it is without. The Hormone and stem cell therapies alone are massive. As PAO grows and more doctors join, more ideas will spread, more solutions will be offered. One procedure my client offers now is Platelet Rich Plasma Injections. They cost the patient about $500 and are not covered by insurance despite showing overwhelming success rates. Like everything, as these procedures become more available, and better understood by the non-medical community, they become more affordable. Between the nightmare stories I’ve heard from clients and family, patients and doctors, everyone is ready for some options in healthcare. This isn’t news. Then you throw RSII in the mix, couple that with the fact that this company is not only growing its roots in two of the most conservative / restrictive states in the union and making it look easy. If their model works in Ohio and Florida, they can adapt to work in any virgin state as well as push into more saturated markets (once the low hanging fruit is gone). Seems to be a pretty good position to be in. At this point I’m sure I’ve got some people saying, “Making it look easy?!?!?!?! I keep hearing they are a scam?!?!?!”. Now I’ve learned if you even imply a negative motivation behind anyone’s actions on this board you are very likely to have your post removed, so I will simply ask. Why would someone you don’t know, who will never meet you, be hanging out in a stock gossip forum warning you “hey, don’t buy this it’s a scam”? I’d love to believe that everyone is my buddy, but have you played video games online? Have you seen what anonymity has done to behavior online? So without further delay, this is what I’ve got on NWAV… NWAV SUMMARY & REPORT (Part #2 – Ohio) So let’s start in Ohio. I was up there March 24, 2017. I started in Sandusky and then went down to Parma. The Sandusky office was exactly where it was supposed to me. This is one thing that had me dying laughing. We’re all sitting around here asking “Where is it? It’s not where it’s supposed to be!”, totally freaking out. Shoot, I took vacation days to drive up to Ohio because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t caught up in some Wolf of Wall Street pipe dream and thought we (the longs (the vocal ones at least, I’m learning here guys lol) on the board) had discovered some serious new info and I was gonna get proof. Just a couple days ago I’m looking at the PAO Facebook page. There is a sample ID they posted on Jan 20, 2017. It’s got the address on there, plain as day! Since Jan 20th! Even funnier, it’s been on this board at least that long too! They aren’t hiding info from us, they are busy working! Opening 6 locations and launching a website in a couple months is a daunting task. I made it up to Sandusky and found the clinic with no trouble. It is kind of tucked away in the back, not really easy to see unless you know where you’re going. No signage in the shopping center, but great signage at the entrance. To tell you the truth, I was a little disappointed in that at first, but later it all made more sense. I was able to talk to the neighbors in the unit closest to the street. They were telling me that they were really busy the previous week but were able to finish up moving everything in early and were “just waiting on the official go date”. I don’t remember exactly how I brought it up other than I was asking as a potential patient, not as an Investor, so there was zero reason to tell me a lie. That and the guy was very laid back, positive, and had sounded as if he believed it would be good for the community. When I was saying good bye I threw in there, “Man I wish these guys had stock, I would totally get some!” to which he said, “No kidding, I should ask if they do!” I hope he did. As far as what I could actually see, honestly not too much new. The signs were up and looking good. Everything was clean. Computers had some monitor glow at the desk in the lobby. I got there early in the morning and checked on it as soon as I got into town (about 1:30am… in the rain… lol… didn’t care, it was there!!!). I came back the next morning (where I talked to the neighbor) and the lights were out so it appeared someone had been there. The maintenance door was open between units but I’m getting too old to crawl through ceiling tiles and get trespassing charges, plus I had seen enough to feel good that things were on the up and up. I seriously considered it anyway, but thankfully I brought my fiancé, not my buddy, or I might have been writhing a much less complete report from a cell as I would rather have the stock than bail. Before heading down to Parma I checked out a few other things. I went to the Sandusky Wellness Center on 3703 Columbus Ave. This is where Dr. Greg(g) Winnestaffer, who will be at the Sandusky clinic, currently has an office. A nice building not too far away and after seeing how Florida is building out around Jacksonville, and talking to the staff of the medical complex where Dr. Bernard’s Friday office is, it would not seem farfetched to me that this location could serve as at least another referral source / satellite for PAO. This is just speculation on my part, but why not? I also checked out the Bank that was for lease in the same shopping center as the Sandusky clinic (1028 Cleveland Rd). There are no for rent signs on it anymore as seen in the Google Maps images. It looks unoccupied however there are some signs on the door that say “Lucky’s Entertainment” with little shamrocks. In the PR that came out Nov 3, 2016 it clearly said that they renegotiated the lease to get the bigger unit, but I still hold out hope that they grabbed the bank too and are saving it for Central Office / Dispensary / RSII Lab, but that is just me hoping. Couldn’t blame them for being quiet, I mean look at how we hound them for info, but think about a bank drive through with multiple lanes and a huge vault. How could a company like this, make use of a building like that? Next I went down to Parma to find the other clinic, but one thing first. I’m not from Ohio, never been to Ohio, didn’t know anything about the place. So when I read the PR talking about the opiate addiction problem in Ohio and saw some news clips about how they had the highest death rate from opiate overdose, I was like, “Yeah it’s bad stuff, got that problem here. Tons of meth too. Wanna talk murder rates, we all got problems, and what?” Ok, well maybe not that cold, but the point is I absolutely underestimated what was going on up there. In Sandusky there were some billboards, a few signs here and there, but more than at home. It was apparent that opioid addiction was a public concern, but by the time I got to Cleveland, parts of the city looked almost like a WWII “buy war bonds” news reals. There were signs everywhere warning about heroin and pills. Bus stops, trash cans, benches, everywhere! Once I made it down to Parma it was a little less apparent, but all that means is that it wasn’t smacking me in the face anymore. So the Parma office was a lot more viable than Sandusky, which makes sense. Folks in recovery aren’t really looking to be called out on it, or seen going in. Having a nice entrance in the back of the shopping center fitted the need up in Sandusky. Parma was the exact opposite. It’s positioned in a pretty nice medical building on the corner of a big intersection that is impossible to miss. Walk through the front doors, make a right and you’re there. The first 5 units facing the street are all AMCA. The office had easy to see professional signage, name and unit number in the buildings info board, and a mostly finished office visible from the mail slot and windows, and a note directing deliveries to go to the main door, not the other doors. This location was a win too! So Ohio looked great! Both of these are corporate locations, so revenues there will be all PAO! I almost convinced my fiancé to keep south and check out Florida on the way home, but there just were not enough hours left in the weekend to get back for work, so I would have to wait. We have since had the walkthrough of this location: https://www.facebook.com/PAOgroupinc/videos/611587985717486/ NWAV SUMMARY & REPORT (Part #3 – Florida) Let me start this part of the report with an apology to IR. Now that I’ve seen all the locations, talked to some people in person, and thought about all the work, and the timelines involved in businesses I’ve only to helped launch (not plan, and initiate)… in a single state… in much less volatile, history making sectors… and then compare to what you all have said you were doing to do, and have in fact done, in the time you have done it… I take back all the less than friendly messages I left over the last month or so when I didn’t understand, or misread the PR, or mistook something I saw. I even left a couple this weekend in Florida. I normally felt pretty dumb when I figured out what I was missing if that makes you feel better. While we’re being all forgiving, since I’m in part 3 of a report on a series of cross country road trips stalking your company, I would not trust me to keep quiet either, so totally forgive you for never calling me back LOL. At this point though, come on guys, drop the PR, make everyone happy, and let me get a real tour so I can say thanks in person! Ok, so I packed up the car and headed down to Orange Park. When I got there I was happy to see, much like Ohio, exactly what I expected to. Having AMCA logs on the door and windows was a great start. The parking lot was full, even around back. There even looked to be people waiting in their car in the lot next door because they were either early, didn’t feel like waiting inside, or maybe both. I walked in, looked around, saw that they were packed, and just looked lost and got out of there. After all this was a live working practice. I know how busy those offices can get and with a possibly overflowing waiting room, I didn’t want to interrupt and ask silly questions. Seeing there were 5 patients in the waiting room, 4 visible staff members moving quickly to get things done in the section of office behind the admittance window, and who knows how many of each I couldn’t see in the other 80% of the building, I didn’t need any more convincing that they were busy. Seemed to be everything I could hope for here. A few things to note about this location before moving on to the others… It is positioned wonderfully at an intersection, with a stop light, across from a large medical center. The number of patients a day that are going to leave that medical center and see the green cross in the windows here will be huge. There is also a pharmacy attached to the building. As of April 3rd 2017 Florida’s Senate has passed a new plan through its first hearing which is much less restrictive that the one from the house, allowing for edibles and vaping, just not smoking, along with all other treatment options. It also proposes increasing the number of dispensaries and independent labs testing the medical MJ treatments. Don’t we know a company that could benefit from that? Sure this is six months to a year away, so what do we do till then? I guess we work on registering more patients and give the lawmakers the numbers they need to put some weight behind what the people are saying they want. Wait a second, so you are telling me actions speak louder than words? So wait a second, by that logic, I guess I would rather have 5 verified locations and no PR, than a glowing PR full of promises. Now I mentioned leaving some unhappy messages with IR. That was because when I got to Jacksonville Beach I could not find the AMCA sticker anywhere and I didn’t want to go into random buildings asking about it. I called IR and left message and my phone number. Surprisingly, they didn’t call me back. Cooler heads prevailed and after I realized that I sure as heck wouldn’t call me back either, but I was already down there and couldn’t go home and leave it at that… I went in and played patient and turned up some good info though. So we have seen on the Pointe Medical website that 905 Beach is Dr. Bernard’s part time office. He is only there on Fridays. This of course was a big old red flag until I understood the business a little better. How can we count this as a clinic if the doctor is only there on Fridays? We’ll doctors having a couple offices is nothing new, they do it all the time. The problem is that Dr. Bernard is only one guy, so how can he be in two places at once and make use of two offices in a way we can really count as two clinics? That is the beauty of this model, with even just what we have seen of the altmedcenters.com page, the secure video referral system (MCVerify), and proper staffing, a doctor’s practice can rapidly scale up to multiple locations in short order. The software allows the doctor to be anywhere provided they have a location with staff such as a Physician’s Assistant or Nurse Practitioner to aid in the recommendation. Now all the sudden this location made more sense. Well, confirmation on that was the second thing that came out of the mouth of the very nice lady working at the desk. “Dr. Bernard hasn’t been at this location in a few weeks actually. ” My heart stopped. “I know he’s been out trying to hire some more staff. I know he needs at least a PA (Physician’s Assistant).” I vision came back into my left eye, then my right, followed by a heartbeat. More staff is good. The other lady chimed in, “Yeah I think he’s been working on getting a new location ready the past couple weeks.” I need to start playing poker. I politely said thanks and sorry for the confusion, I must be trying to get to his other office. Joked around for a minute since they were really friendly people and headed for Ft. Lauderdale. At this point not having had time to think it through and realize how good of news that was, but feeling better about all I had just heard. Now my next stop was Ft. Lauderdale since I only had so many business hours left in the trip, but first I’ll talk about St. Augustine. When it was announced that PAO Group got their lease at this location I was pretty happy. Unfortunately I was not able to figure out where it was, nor did they give a location. Seeing how this location is not too much further from Jacksonville Beach than orange park (in the greater scheme of things), with Green Cove Springs (another location mentioned in PR) almost between Orange Park and St. Augustine, it seems to make sense that Dr. Bernard will be in fact heading up multiple locations as we were told in his FB video with Robert Webber. Also, the St. Augustine location looked to be in overall good shape in the video, and seems to not need much more than paint and equipment as it was previously a doctor’s office. Having been 2 full weeks since they took possession, I would not be surprised if they were ready to open in short order and then we will have our first corporate location in Florida. Ok, on to Ft. Lauderdale. Well for starters… Man the turnpike can slow ya down! I didn’t get down there till after business hours and it was Friday so I was out of luck for catching anyone there. Just like you find looking online, there was Hollywood Hormone Therapy sign, just no AMCA. I was a little irritated. Left IR another real peach of a message, and sat there for a minute or ten. I was able to see through the windows in the front that the lobby looks just like its picture on the website, but the lights were out and the only picture I could get was more reflection of my phone than image of the lobby, so I didn’t bother taking a picture of it. Now at this point, despite overwhelming evidence that this is in fact everything promised, I’m sitting there seeing ready to pop actually thinking. Maybe they are right… Crazy talk I realize now, but I had been in a car for 20+ hours. Anything short of a grand opening parade was going to be a disappointment. I went back to the PRs to see what I had missed. Just like the freaking ID with the Sandusky location on it that sat in plain sight for months. When I talked with the staff in Jacksonville Beach, I mentioned Alternative Medical Center in the office next door when I was looking for Dr. Bernard’s office. Just like the people who called the phone numbers asking about the PAO group getting confused answers. Everyone there knew Dr. Bernard, only one of the neighbors knew that Alternative Medical Centers was, “that thing Dr. Bernard is working on”. Patients going to Hollywood Hormone Therapy are making appointments to see a doctor, not a physician’s group. In this case they want to see Dr. Michael Schmidt who also runs a family medicine practice a little further north in Deerfield Beach. Me getting hung up on the AMCA sticker not being in the window seems kinda silly now that I have had sleep and EVERYTHING else is where it was expected to be. Additionally, because of the scalability of this business model, I won’t be shocked if we see similar developments with Dr. Schmidt in the Ft. Lauderdale and easily drivable surrounding areas as we have seen in the Jacksonville area with Dr. Bernard and the northern Florida locations. NWAV SUMMARY & REPORT (Conclusion) So having time to get home and type everything out. More than ever, I like what I see here. If my biggest beef is that two satellite locations don’t have logos in the window, but everything else seems to be going pretty darn well… Things could be a lot worse. They seem to be meeting goals on time which is apparently unheard of in the OTC. We also look to have been building a very strong base over the last month investor wise and the PPS has had one of the smoothest stabilizations after initial discovery that I’ve been able to find going through other stock histories. Throw the fact that we have a PR due any day and 4/20 in two weeks where MJ is about to be national news on CNN and all the other news stations, like it is every year around 4/20, it would seem to me that great things are on the horizon. Good luck all! http://dlvr.it/Qvtt1W

October 3, 2018

I’ve had a really long day of running around. Grading during free periods, ending my day with 3 classes in a row and office hours, driving down to the hospital for a staff meeting and then back to school for the Freshman Parent Guidance Meeting, which I was asked to attended and have been hounded about for a month and have always received grief for not attending the evening session, only for Mark to ask me when I arrived, “What are you doing here?” because I was the only advisor to show up. The rage-filled live-texting  I did was an excellent sample of the pettiness of school idiocy and politics, (and the violence of my creative streak).

I get home and S looks very grave and says he has to tell me something, and he didn’t want to tell me earlier because he knew the type of day I was having. He starts talking about my grandmother, who beat breast cancer-but we found out a year or so ago (when she fell and broke her hip) that her numbers were up, and it turned out the cancer was back and had metastasized in her bones. It’s terminal. We know that. She has been slowly but steadily declining in the two years since she broke her hip, but she’s also 86. She recently began experiencing difficulties urinating, got catheterized 2 weeks ago, and her urologist told my mom and my grandparents earlier this week at their appointment that the bladder itself is fine, but the issue could be tumors in her spine compressing her bladder, so they now have another appointment scheduled with her oncologist to get a prognosis. 

All of which I knew-except, obviously, that last part, about spinal tumors and worse cancer news. Because despite telling me she’d keep me posted, when we talked this week my mother said everything’s “fine, nothing new.”

That information slipped out to S in a conversation with my brother yesterday morning, when when S let him know that our mom had specifically not mentioned that news, G turned white, looked sheepish, indicating to my husband that there was a reason I hadn’t been told, and that he had fucked up by sharing that information.

Needless to say, I’m fucking furious. 

This has been my relationship with my parents and G more and more since moving out, reaching a really noticeable point about 4 years ago. My mom had called my at work one night and told me the cancer was back and that it getting into her bones was terminal. My voice shook a little when I asked about prognosis and next steps, and my mom said to me, “There’s no use crying about it. She’s in her 80′s. She’s had a good run. However long we have her, we have her.”

Like she’s a horse we’re sending out to pasture or something, and like I was unstable to react otherwise. This is where the alienation began to shift, and slowly turned into secret-keeping.

Like the dozen or so times over the last 2 years that my parents and G would have dinner out with my grandparents (and sometimes my aunt, if she was down from MA) and were eating 10 minutes away from our house and never thought to ask if S and I would like to be included, only to talk casually about it the next time we talked. Or my cousin’s autism diagnosis, which I had called 2 years beforehand anyway as a possible explanation for his over-stimulation and social lag. Or my older cousin’s anxiety diagnosis that eventually came out of all the GI tests he had done. At their anniversary dinner 2 weeks ago, my mom super conspicuously ducked out to our living room to take a phone call. After a few minutes I got a sinking feeling it was about my grandmother, since they had cancelled with us last minute because of her ER visit, and she looked like she got caught in a drug deal when I entered the room, only to tell me that she was getting an update from her cousin on my great aunt, who had been in the hospital and was being discharged to a rehab. And even then, that day it had taken all sorts of awkwardness and borderline aggression to get the information about my grandmother. My grandfather left me a message simply stating he was canceling and wouldn’t answer the phone when I called back to communicate my regret about it. So I called home and no one answered. When I texted G and asked what was going on, he hemmed and hawed and pretended not to know anything (because he was buying time to text/call my mom), who then called me from the beach and still resisted telling me what was happening until I pushed. So this whole keeping me out of the loop about family business has been building and building, and now it’s got me pissed off. Because it’s like since I don’t live under the same roof anymore, that dynamic I had always pushed back against-like my mom, dad, and G are family and I’m not-has just escalated, and now I’m not privy to any information whatsoever.

It’s like I’m no longer family-or at least truly family-because I was married and out of the house by 26, and did what I was supposed to by leaving the nest. And while before when we were kids G woudn’t stick up for me, but cling nervously to his position as the favorite, he is willingly watching me be cut out of this family-like, surgically, participating in the secrecy towards me and not really questioning it more than a superficial shrug.

So my dad bullies me with or without an audience, my mom and brother allow it, and my mom and brother block me from knowing what’s going on in the family, like I don’t have a right to be a part of it.

What. The. Fuck.

All because I got a little choked up when my mom dropped the bomb on me at work that my grandmother’s cancer was back when she had been cancer-free for so long?

Or is it because I cry at all?

Because here’s the thing: I know my grandma will likely not be with us much longer, especially if this tumor hypothesis ends up being true. If she has to be permanently catheterized, she will become demoralized, depressed, and give up, and she will deteriorate even faster. I know her well enough to know that. I don’t need a medical degree to get that.

And when she eventually passes away, I will cry. I will mourn the loss of my only grandmother that I really knew. I will miss her. I will grieve the impossibility of her getting to meet the next Eileen, her great granddaughter, and it will suck that she, my mom, my baby and I will not ever get to all be together. That sucks. I will shed a tear for the fact that when she and Grandpa went to Florida, and when mom and dad made up their minds about me, this altered the course of my relationship with her for a long time, and what it could have been, which I’ve only recently been able to enjoy. That we weren’t closer, especially as I became a woman and an adult. Sure I will.

Because I’m a fucking human being.

But I’m not going to lose my shit. I won’t be fucked up about it. Because I realized a while back that my parents had their own version of me that they presented to other adults in my life. And that while my grandma sipped the Kool-Aid for a little bit, and has spent most of the last decade living a mile or two away from my parents and G, she has been at times vocal about her preference for G-not directly, mind, but the message was there. But she also never did it at my expense. She clearly preferred him because he was the one my parents deployed to help them with tech in their house, and he was the one at all those dinners my mom was telling them I was busy for but I was actually ignorant of, and all offers I made to chip in were brushed off by my mom. But when she and I were alone, when we had our time together, she let me know what’s what.

I remember back in 2009 she was the one who requested my mom invite me to join her Mother’s Day trip to New York for an evening dinner and show since I lived there. She insisted on coming to see my apartment-she beamed at how, “metropolitan” I was, and as she was getting ready to get in the cab at the end of the night, she hugged me tight, and she kissed her bold red lipstick all over my face, and she told me,

“I am so proud of the brave woman you are. Keep going. I want you to stay here and see this through as far as you can take it. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not smart or you can’t do it, because you are! I love you for it, so much, my girlfriend.”

I obviously minimized and self-deprecated, just like I’ve always been taught. She whacked me in the leg with her cane and said, “Stop it. I love you, girlfriend. You keep all of this up-don’t you disappoint me by stopping too soon. I love you too much for you to ever settle. You got this.”

“I love you, too.”

“I know you do. You show me all the time by how proud you make me, every day.”

I cried so hard after that cab pulled away because that was the first time in at least a decade that anyone in my family had told me they were proud of me, especially without a qualifier (especially one that involved G), and it was the first time an adult in my family had said, “I love you,” in almost as long.

Since then she has often reminded S to, “worship” me because I am a catch, because I am her girl.

She gushed throughout the entire wedding process.

Every time I see her, she is happy to see me and she tells me how glad she is I continue to invite her for holidays (as if I wouldn’t?) and I get her her favorite snacks, and get her, “cool” gifts that help her feel hip and chic.

We had a long conversation when I saw her the 2nd or 3rd time after she fell, when she was in my mom’s nursing home for rehab. She was depressed and self-pitying and angry with mom for making her go to PT. I talked to her about the validity of her feelings and fears, but encouraged her to start the antidepressants that were being recommended by the staff psychiatrist-that there’s no shame in needing a little help-that her body and mind are connected, and it’s not as simply as willing the pain away. I encouraged her to talk to the social worker, to have someone on her side whose only agenda was to provide her with safety and validation and encouragement. And if she wouldn’t, to call me and yell and wail and bitch and that I could hold that for her. She got tearful and asked, “When did you become so smart, and so wise?”

I told her simply that it had been a while, but that mom and dad didn’t quite see it that way, and that it could stay our secret. And she took me up on it a few times, and she was always grateful for the ear.

So maybe she only sipped that Kool-Aid, and as much as she sings G’s praises and S’s in front of others, it will only ever earn an eye roll from me. 

I won’t have unfinished business with her when she passes, whenever that is. Will I wish she had been more public in her acknowledgement of me? Sure. But that’s about me, not about her. She is a black and white thinking, and can only have one favorite. It doesn’t mean she devalues me. I will wish we were closer. But she knows I love her. She loves me the way she knows how: by outwardly favoring the boy, and sharing her quiet, more vulnerable moments with me.

I will not have any regrets. Because she saw me, and I let go of the need for her proclaimed approval once I knew it existed at all.

You know who will be really fucked up?

G, when he loses his most vocal source of praise and one of the few people who, “needs” him.

My uncle, the favorite child who has been largely uninvolved with her care despite being 15 minutes away, and missing many opportunities for time with her.

My aunt, who is depressive and perfectionistic, and who will struggle with guilt and anger towards her husband for uprooting her and the kids to MA, and couldn’t be more involved despite desperately wanting to be.

The most fucked up of all will be my mom. The oldest child who was never the outward source of pride, who broke her own heart to get the approval she wanted and is bearing the brunt of her care now. Who rarely gets a thank you but gets bitched at simply because she’s there, because she’s safe and reliable to receive her anger. I know she’s internalizing this. She is already batshit crazy about all of the praise she’s not getting, the reciprocity that’s not obtainable so long as my grandma is as bitter and angry and lost as she is right now.

The woman scolding me for having a human reaction to a cancer relapse is going to need the most whenever Grandma’s time comes. She is going to be bereft and lost. 

And who does she think is going to provide her emotional support and hear all of this? 

My, “feminine logic,” emotionally retarded bully of a father?

My emotionally stunted, overgrown adolescent brother who still sleeps in the same twin bed and lets his dad make his bagged lunch?

Or her daughter, who can speak about and hold emotions and provide empathy and gentleness, not just because she’s a compassionate person, but because she’s a trained fucking counselor, and not a cyborg?

THIS. THIS is what makes me so insane about all of this shit with my family.

I’m never smart enough until there’s a question G can’t answer because it’s my area of expertise. I’m never wanted around until I heed that response and back away. No gift good enough. What have you.

And I’m unstable and emotional when I communicate that they hurt me, and ask for what I need, or am overwhelmed or stressed about how my family treats me. It makes me angry and unworthy.

But when you need a free therapist? That’s when you want me to provide all of the things you denied me for all of these years, even as you’re still excluding me and hurting and keeping secrets from me?

When do I get to become a fully operational person to them?

Maybe I need to cut away from my family for a while. Or maybe altogether. 

I feel like they just make me so angry all the time, and I hate the person I am in those moments.

I feel like with all of this, I’m being poisoned. I hate it.

Nursery Rhymes & Kids' Songs

Who could overlook the entire alien instances for Fox Mulder and Dana Scully on The X-Recordsdata? If Halloween ever had a trendy and funky sound that was not a novelty track, this was it. First you will want to train the brand new vocabulary for Halloween that you want your college students to use for the video games. Danny Elfman is probably probably the most http://www.thetoptens.com/frozen-songs/ iconic composer of all time when it comes to music within the vein of Halloween and quirky horror. In the event you're attending a Halloween occasion this weekend then their will nearly certainly be some woman dressed as a witch singing this music at individuals while doing weird issues with their arms. For example, some of these musical works have a deep association with horror, suspense, struggle, adventure, and different similar film genres, especially for Halloween. Some are pop, some are rock, some are hip-hop, however the entire songs we selected are spooky and perfect in your Halloween get together. Ripley von Rapperstein, the Spooktacular Sammy Hain, and the other Halloween Freaks, are busily brewing up more funky and enjoyable songs on your Halloween pleasure. PBS Parents states that nursery rhymes are fun for young children to study and say, which is why it's imperative that you just proceed the time-outdated custom of educating them to your children. With lyrics coping with everlasting love and the inevitability of dying, this hit from the American rockers isn't the perfect occasion decide. Monster Occasion A Haunted House on Halloween Night time and Extra Child Songs from Mother Goose Club! A singularly cinematic presence on 2015 radio — peaking at No. 7 on Billboard + Twitter's High Tracks chart around this time last year — Ghost City” is extra John Wayne than John Carpenter in its dust-swept sonics. The tune was originally recorded with no cowbell, however it was later added to turn into one of many memorable cowbell featured songs in history. Around the Halloween season, grocery shops will typically carry CDs related to Halloween. Classical or different songs that are associated with Halloween, due to their use in motion pictures and movies embody Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, and Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield (‘The Exorcist' theme). Arthur Cleveland Coxe describes Halloween so properly in simply two quick lines - a night celebrated by the dead! Simply because the previous year, each family in attendance acquired a folder containing directions for every activity set up during the night of the Family Night, ideas for extensions at dwelling, coordinating math/literacy skills and ideas taught inside each activity, a nursery rhyme e book, and a feedback form. There, together with my weird-however-talented friends, I started to conjure up deliciously fun, funky and household-friendly Halloween songs for young Occasion Monsters such as you! Obtain these standard children's Halloween songs: , (Monster Shuffle) and (Ba Ba Bones). While there aren't like plenty of songs which are written about werewolves, the very few which have been are usually a little bit on the creepy aspect. However the Halloween music which I really like & cherish probably the most is the fantastic cassette tape recording I made again in the mid 70's. However it's additionally obtained a reference to ghosts within the title, earning it a spot on the Halloween record. In the UK Halloween traditions are very a lot alive and in style, especially amongst kids and teenagers. Certainly one of them is colored and one is black and white so that youthful college students can shade them in. These would be great for a classroom's Halloween get together or as a take-dwelling activity. These songs are geared towards preschoolers, and as such they are scare-free (I do not do scary…at all). As like me many children and children also want to have a good time with loved ones like household and associates as a result of they do not wish to go backward in any sense or in anything from any grownup. While all of Helloween's songs would match the invoice, we're going with probably the most apparent, Halloween,” a creepy basic. Endlessly hauled into lazy round-ups like this one, as of late The Specials' greatest hit is more commonly rolled out as a novelty hit for Halloween. But I Was a Teenage Werewolf,” off the group's 1980 debut LP Songs the Lord Taught Us,” is perhaps probably the most fitting. You can begin by introducing one or two rhymes every week, starting with a conventional one like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star Start by saying the nursery rhyme so your baby learns the words and the rhyme sample, and then you possibly can sing them and add fun hand motions. Perceive that the repetitive high quality of nursery rhyme phrases helps in memorizing them. These pages contain the origins, histories, real folks and any other attention-grabbing tidbits about nursery rhymes. Sober's” lingering, wandering beats and Maynard James Keenan's tortured vocals make this an important fit for any Halloween shindig. Finally, the lyrics are in regards to the hounds of hell and burning witches at the stake. However there's one thing about donning a witch's hat and making use of faux blood that signifies that the music you are selection for October 31 had higher have one thing of the evening about it. Whereas he never goes full bore wailer like he would on other 50s horror film inspired songs , there's enough edge in his voice to know he's not messing around. The Antrobus Soulcakers Tune is sung firstly of the Greenman Mummers Souling Play on YouTube. This piece has a haunting factor to it. However, it's a wonderful addition to Halloween musical accompaniment that's been utilized in countless films, TV reveals, commercials, and other media. The phrases and music for the Soul-Cake track (which begins A soul, a soul, a soul-cake!”) can be found as Soul-Cake Spherical on Digital Tradition. Because the band moved into the 1980s, they changed their sound and fell into making the kind of ska-influenced new wave that was beginning to take over the favored music scene at the time. Prime members get pleasure from FREE One-Day and Two-Day supply on eligible gadgets, limitless video streaming, 30-minute early access to high offers & more. From beelzebub booty bass to trick-or-treat lure, listed below http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU are eight fabulously freaky Miami music originals on your Halloween fiesta. All of the extra purpose to get it on the stereo at a party, as individuals are assured to recognise Rih-Rih's music. Download Halloween Music - Scary Sounds and get in the groove with scary sounds. Since being released the song has been featured in numerous cowl variations, commercials, and movies - perhaps it is best recognized for being a form of anthem for the Scream movie franchise. Souling is a people customized which continues in some areas of England on Samhain, the night of October 31. Youngsters go about in groups and sing Souling Songs and beg for treats, very similar to American Halloween. For those who're looking to kill two birds with one stone, then pack a pirate costume to double as your Halloween costume and Pirate Night time costume.

A//TAR Perform “Arcana” Live at Ceremony of Sludge

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

It was the last live performance I attended in 2020, before orders were given by the Governor of Oregon to shelter in place. I'd heard about the novel coronavirus outbreak and the still mysterious disease it caused, COVID-19, but was crossing my fingers it hadn't spread too far into Portland yet. This was, after all, the annual Ceremony of Sludge! A tradition for nine years and counting, organized by Witch Mountain's Justin Brown. It brought together some of the most impressive new and long-standing heavy underground acts that the Pacific Northwest had to offer.

Everyone was in good spirits. No one had yet heard about the notion of social distancing, wearing masks, or taking that occasional sip from your buddy's beer. For one brief night, we could let our hair down (well, some of us who still have hair to boast of) and have a good time, as naive as that may sound in retrospect.

Four incredible bands took the stage on that March 6th eve at the World Famous Kenton Club, where I've shot many a show. On this Friday evening, I decided to leave the Canon at home and just let myself enjoy the music first hand, as so often my experience of live performances is through the lens (which I rarely peel my eyes from).

Today, Doomed & Stoned is premiering footage from that very night, revealing the song "Arcana" from A//TAR (or Alltar, should you prefer). If you haven't encountered them before, their sludgy-doom and post-metal stylings, with touches of atmospheric mysticism and Near-Eastern sound, establish the five-member outfit as truly one of a kind.

You'll recognize some of the members from other bands around town: Hound The Wolves, Tigers on Opium, Sixous, to name a few. The Portland scene tends to cross-pollinate a lot, which I suppose accounts for the creativity behind Alltar's unique sound.

I asked Frontman Juan Carlos Caceres about how these remarkable doom fantasias (and "Arcana," in particular) spring to life:

We have a pretty set in stone approach to writing our music. The musicians will compose riffs and string them together into a loose arrangement. However in this band, one of the creative choices we make is that Tim will title the arrangement. Once the music has a flow or is sounding like a song, they will pass it along to me and I will take that “title” and use it as the inspiration for the lyrical content and story of the song.

From there I’ll come in with arrangement ideas and help produce the song into its final arrangement by adding vocals/synths, and ultimately shaping how the song plays out from anything like needing things to be repeated for a certain length, to adding other sections that help the music sound like a song and not a string of riffs.

This can make for a long process to the end result, however with “Arcana” it actually came together very quickly. If I recall correctly it was two rehearsals. The song originated from a riff Colin brought to the table and the band spent a rehearsal coming up with some parts. They emailed it to me along with the title “Arcana”. I was deeply intrigued by this title and the fact that the word means secrets/mysteries. I quickly dove into writing the lyrics and had a full working version ready to go for the next rehearsal.

Deep in our genetic makeup, are the stories of centuries, the stories of evolution, the stories of failure, and the stories of progress. I gravitated quickly to this thought process and used the concept “Arcana” to tell the story of a message hidden deep within us, that guides us, whispers to us, but we are only aware of it through intuition and practice.

As to the meaning of "Arcana" and the influences driving the four songs on the setlist for the forthcoming album, 'Live At Ceremony of Sludge IX' (2021), Juan adds:

One of my favorite books is 'The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind' by Julian Jaynes. He proposed that the human brain existed in a bicameral state until about 3000 years ago. The theory is widely disputed but nonetheless I find the concept of our growth of consciousness fascinating.

There are hints of this in the lyrics, along with hints of evolving further into our next state of being. I really like to use phrases that portray a strong visual imagery that the listener can perhaps interpret in several ways. With this song, I wanted the listener to be curious whether we are in the past, present, or future.

Are we conscious automata? Are we free willed? Are we guided by things planted deep in our subconscious and genetic make up? Unlocking the mysteries of our consciousness and our DNA to propel ourselves into the next cycle of life, is what this song is about.

Performance Stills by Stephanie Savenkoff

Deep thoughts indeed to guide this deep cut from an album that will surely leave its mark upon you. "Arcana" is rich with esoteric atmosphere, enhanced by thoughtful instrumental details, brimming with attitude, carried by transcendent vocals that stir the heart with its cryptic creed.

Out February 12th, Alltar's Live From Ceremony of Sludge IX can be gotten on compact disc, as well as in digital format (pre-order here).

Give ear...

A//tar - Arcana

Lyrics

Messenger Show yourself Deep your roots plant themselves Further than time itself Unfolding

Whispering in my ear Only things I can hear Forever unknowing Unfolding

Library Circuitry Loops caught infinity Only you only me

Unfolding Unfolding Unfolding Unfolding

Mystery hidden deep in the sea Buried underwater effigy There is a message carved onto it Only one human can know of it Only one human can know of it

Open ocean Part ways for us all Open ocean Part ways for us all

All knowing Arcana Genetic permanence

DNA AND palindrome Mirrors speak in parables Offering miracles Unfolding

Splice open chromosomes Rewire what we know Binary in revolt Unfolding

46 deep in me 46 let me be Shadow step out of me

Unfolding Unfolding Unfolding Unfolding

Mystery hidden deep in the sea Buried underwater effigy There is a message carved onto it Only one human can know of it Only one human can know of it

Open ocean Part ways for us all Open ocean Part ways for us all

All knowing Arcana We are genetic permanence

All knowing Arcana

Some Buzz

Bring your pain, your loss, and your love and place it on the Alltar, as we honor those that came before us. Emerging from the Pacific Northwest region, Portland’s Alltar set out a two-fold reminder: one, of the potency behind a doom, sludge, and post-metal blend; and two, of just how good live music will be once it returns. After the successful release of their début Hallowed, the quintet’s next move is to release a live record commemorating a stunning set at Ceremony of Sludge in their hometown, which saw a stacked bill including Usnea and Brume shake The World Famous Kenton Club back in March.

“Ceremony of Sluuuuudge, baby!” comes booming through the speakers from vocalist Juan Carlos Caceres, whose amiable attitude contrasts with both the Ozzy-like wailing and harsher screaming - both of which hitting impressive peaks on “War Altar”. The lyrics draw from a wide range of topics; in the bands’ words, “the triumphs and tribulations of human-kind. From the technical and artistic birth of society’s achievements in art and technology, as well as the rise of power, war, destruction, and the control of humanity.”

Live at Ceremony of Sludge by Alltar

One unusual feature of this release is just how damn good the mix is for such a young band in a festival format. Aside from the vocals soaring and shrieking, the drums pop and crash, the bass rumbles with menace, and the cavernous rhythm guitars are hypnotic. The five work seamlessly to stir the genre-melding pot, the contents of which contain pinches of Neurosis’ Souls at Zero, Amenra’s Mass series, latter-day Elder, and Cult of Luna.

The record itself is akin to a beast that awakens - it starts with smooth guitar lines interwoven with Moog synthesizers on “Arcana”, while by the time “Cantillate” rolls around, there’s an unfolding crescendo of crunch. And then, just as the audience recovers from the devastating closer, a simple “thank you, we’re Alltar, Glasghote is up next!” It’s over in a short space of time, but that’s the beauty of live albums - there’s always the replay button.

Alltar is:

Nate Wright - drums  (Hound the Wolves, Tigers On Opium)

Tim Burke - guitars, samples  (ex-Boneworm, Hound the Wolves, Electric Ring, ex-Skull Island)

Colin Hill - guitars, samples

Juan Carlos Caceres - vocals, Moog synthesizers  (Tigers On Opium, ex-Sioux, Hound the Wolves, The Hungry Ghost)

Casey Braunger - bass  (He is Me)

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