Bro how did you get on haiku bot again!

I DONT KNOW,, Thank you again Haiku bot for your blessing 🙏🏾

(Original post)

Hi can I request like a vinnie x reader like the reader wrote deja vu by olivia rodrigo (let’s pretend the reader wrote it and released it) and when the music video got posted on yt yall watch it together with the hype house members and when it finish your crying (tears of joy) and vinnie is proud of her and the other hype house congratulated the reader and thomas and alex filming everyone’s reactions and later thats night the reader and the other hypehouse member are hanging out in the living room and vinnie is all cuddled up to the reader and mia ask who’s the song abt and the reader said its abt vinnie and she explained it that she wrote the song when they broke up and vinnie got with another girl and everyone is shock.. you ucan continue it and do whatever you want in the end thank youu<33

Déjà Vu - Vinnie Hacker

Sooooo, I feel like this wasn't my best piece but I hope you still like it. I love Olivia Rodrigo 👀 I just can’t imagine Vinnie breaking someone’s hearts tbh, he looks way to sweet 

Warning : None

Word Count : 1.2k

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Today was an important day for you and your career. Your debut single Déjà vu was coming out and you couldn’t stop yourself from being excited but nervous at the same time. Having been doing covers of your favorite songs on social media for the last 2 years, fans wouldn’t stop asking you when your own music would come out. Today was the day they would hear your ideas for the first time in what seems like forever. You had posted little bits of some compositions you had made but never did you post a clip over 15 seconds long, let alone a full song.

You had been recording a lot in the past few weeks and when you presented the lyrics to Déjà vu to the producers, they fell in love with it. In all honesty you didn’t think it would be one of their favorites since it was sad and angry. You had written these lyrics a while back when you and your now boyfriend were apart. You and Vinnie had been good friends since the moment you had met. Being two growing TikToker, you found yourself hanging in the same places with the same group of friends.

Your relationship was complicated to say the least, you both knew you had feelings for each other, but he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship at the time and you were afraid to get into one as well. It didn’t stop the both of you of doing everything together, you were inseparable. From sharing one spoon to eat your favorite strawberry ice cream, to sharing clothes, you did everything a couple would do. All went crashing down the day you went on a trip with your best friends, a bunch of pictures of Vinnie and a blonde girl holding hand and sharing ice cream, laughing, came flooding the internet. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, the guy you liked, the guy you thought liked you too was with another women having the time of his life not even giving the time of day.

A few days after you came back from your trip, Vinnie had texted you, but you had decided to ignore him, staying in your room writing down into your notebook. That’s how the lyrics for your new song were created.

After that, things got awkward between the two of you, both of you having the same friend group, hanging out wasn’t easy. He would often bring his new friend with him and the situation made you uncomfortable and sad. They would share moments together, moment you first had with Vinnie, moments you thought belong to the two of you. The girl even posted pictures of places Vinnie would bring her to, places you showed him first.

A few months past and the two of them broke up, leaving the majority of your friends and yourself happy. Soon enough, Thomas invited you to move into the Hype House and you did. You and Vinnie got back to talking frequently and he one day asked you to lunch which you agreed to. You decided to give him a second chance and soon enough he asked you to be his girlfriend. Everyone had been talking about your relationship, approving of your love. The fans were mostly happy, some of them were mad that Vinnie found a new girlfriend, but for the most part, everyone was supportive.

Four weeks later, here you were, all sitting in the backyard waiting for the show to start. Your roommates had decided to surprise you with a nice diner, and they had set up an outdoor projection screen for the release of your debut single. Vinnie had his arms wrapped around you as the both of you sat down on a huge bean bag next to the others. You were all laughing and talking when the voice of the presenter got your attention.

“She’s been getting more and more popular over the past two years and fans had been waiting for her to drop her own music. From singing covers of her favorite songs on the internet to now coming out with her own song, this artist is destinate to a great career. We had the pleasure of getting the exclusivity of her debut single and videoclip, here is Déjà vu by (Y/F/N)”

The screen changed quickly, your face appearing as you licked some ice cream in a convertible. You had told Vinnie about the song a few weeks prior since it was about him. You could feel his arm tightened around you as he kissed your temple

“I’m so proud of you baby” he whispered so only you could hear. You smiled feeling the tears well up in your eyes, realizing how far you’ve come. It wasn’t always easy, but you were doing what you loved with the people who you cherished most. Once the videoclip ended, everyone was clapping making you laugh slightly as tears poured out your eyes.

“OMG! This song is so good (Y/N)” Kouvr said smiling widely as you turned towards her, seeing Alex filming.

“It is, and the video is great” Thomas continued

“Thank you, guys! You’re too kind, you’ve been supporting me from the beginning, and I couldn’t thank you enough for that” you said wiping your tears, looking at them.

“I could never do what you do, you’re so creative, where do you get all your inspiration from? Like for this song, I didn’t know you had all these emotions built up” Mia said, questioning you. You felt yourself tense up as Vinnie rubbed your arms softly.

“It was from an old relationship, all is good now” you shrugged, trying to avoid the question

“Well, this guy seems like he made a big mistake, who would do this to you?” Michael said trying to light up the mood

“Actually, it was me” Vinnie spoke as everyone looked at him with big eyes, including you.

“I’m sorry. What?” Kouvr was the first one to speak

“I was a dick to her two years ago, and I know I broke her hearth. I still regret it to this day and I’m sorry about everything” Vinnie stated now looking at you deeply

“I decided to forgive you and give you another chance and look where that has gotten us. I was scared at first, because of what had happened, but you proved me wrong. You showed me that you’ve changed and that you weren’t that guy anymore. You make me feel so special and I feel so lucky to have you”

“I love you baby, and I’m so proud of you” he said before kissing you tenderly, his tongue finding your bottom lip, making you smile slightly against his mouth

“Okay guys, get a room” Alex said, pushing Vinnie slightly

“We’ll gladly do that” he stood up, offering you his hand to help you do the same

“Stop” you said swatting his chest softly, laughing “Thank you guys so much for this perfect evening, I couldn’t wish for better friends”

“We love you (Y/N)” Mia said bringing you into a tight hug “And you” she said pointing at your boyfriend “If you break her hearth, I’ll have to kill you”

“Don’t worry, I won’t make this mistake a second time”

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Thanks for reading

Hope you liked it, let me know what you think

-K

fic tag game

thank you so much for tagging me @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥ i love rambling about my fics and my writing even if it always also brings up all the doubts and insecurities i have but. these are my children so i will show them some love :’) and it is always just wonderful to share this all with you my dear ♥

placing under cut bc i do ramble, as yall know to expect by now!

Name: VishCount i’ve already explained the origin of that name a couple of times so am sparing you from that but gotta just say that i never expected to get so fond of this username and the nicknames that followed ♥

Fandoms: wow ok so buckle up, this is gonna be a ride first i gotta mention the finnish fandom for this youtuber group called LaeppaVika. i adored them as a teenager and i still watch the videos sometimes :’) couple of the members still stream stuff even if the group has pretty much fallen apart by now and am just very fond every time. they feel like home in a way. those fics were my first ones and am still kinda proud of some of those?

then there’s this one random finnish utapri fic i once wrote... tbh i’m not sure why my anime fandoms never made me write anything? maybe it was the inexperience and the fear of using a second language lol 

after i got over that and got into BTS, i’ve written a ton for them. most of those are oneshots that vary from 1k words to 10k or something. a couple of longer ones have sprouted too and one is still in the making and i have sooooo many ideas. mostly just random aus. i adore to write those. 

lately MDZS has been my favored fandom and it has gotten some oneshots too as well as my gigantic xicheng fic that hangs somewhere well above 100k now. i wish to finish the last part for that soon but who knows, maybe it will take longer than expected sigh. and now DMBJ has pushed in as something that yells at me to write tho i’ve only posted a short oneshot for it for now. and oh, last year i also posted a couple of silly oneshots for 2moons! that was... weird tbh but am glad i did that. 

i wish i had more fandoms tbh bc there is so much interesting stuff there and i have so many ideas and inspirations but i’m very slow at writing. things don’t always just come out and some fandoms don’t grasp me for long enough that i would be able to tap into any projects. but i have no hurry, right?

Tropes: hmm do i have any? am not sure. i thought that maybe soulmate aus or some abo stuff was my thing but i’ve slowly drifted away from those. then it comes to just... idk. hurt/comfort? found families? i also adore slow burn these days and i feel like i’ve gotten a bit better at writing that but it’s still a struggle. also just, as already noted, all these different aus? mostly fantasy based ones. those are always so cool and somehow very whimsical? and lately i’ve also just fallen into this hole where i love to write some bittersweet tragedies or at least stuff that feels like a tragedy in some sense (and i blame my dear kiddo for that bc they’ve written the sweetest of tragedies and i want that too ok)

Fic I spent most time on: how do you count this? do wips count? bc if they do, then I feel like my xicheng fic called you’re the sunset and i’m the last purple left behind is it. it just keeps on going and i feel like i’ve given it all of my waking hours and heart and soul.  then it could also be my BTS abo fic My Lungs for You to Breathe that is slowly reaching its second year? am not sure. but it has been going for ages bc sometimes it comes and sometimes it goes and currently i’ve spent over six months without updating it and. yeah.  (it would be nice to mention some fic here that i’ve made some research for but tbh i never do any research. am horrible like that but i’ve never just. had the energy? tho i have hopes that i could go on this wild research spree for this one guardian idea i have but let’s see...) 

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: (making a list bc am unable to choose, fight me)

and you remain - my pingxie oneshot that just helped me to get all of the feelings i had after tlt2 pour out. am very fond of it destiny tied us together - some introspection of lwj and jc’s relationship and how it changes throughout the years as they both mature, learn things about themselves, fall in love and realize that they share the same ppl in their hearts (and maybe develop a tentative friendship bc they’re so similar in so many ways). i had so much fun with this and it just felt like my brightest moment haha painting your skin with all of me - the xicheng soulmate oneshot i wrote at some point and still adore. it just seemed to work and in the middle of my xicheng struggles writing them so briefly and gently just felt right pouring love (growing flowers) - the ot7 oneshot i wrote bc of this one amazing twt prompt/moodboard. it was the last part of my mono series. i love it so much. joon was so nice to write throughout the whole thing ;;  lilies bloomed under your carpet - my god au for taejoon. it poured out of me so wonderfully and it was so amazing. still one of my favorite creations, this whole au.  Stories Untold / chapter 3 - this was a collection of taejoon oneshots that i was trying to make but am not sure if i will ever finish them all. but this one, where tae is a forest god and joon a human able to see supernatural things, is very dear to me bc it just feels complete

Fic I spent least time on: gosh i think it must be either my first wangxian oneshot we had it almost or my touch-starved joon oneshot show me my skin and touch my heart with very soft and lovely taejoon. both created themselves in a couple of hours?

Longest fic: currently my xicheng monster but i somehow expect my bts abo fic to get even longer if i ever manage to finish it

Shortest fic: it’s apparently my namseok fic for joon’s tokyo called missing you (i’m homesick). it created itself out of my own experiences of living in a long distance relationship and is one of my faves in that series.  

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: most hits and comments go for my bts abo fic which doesn’t really surprise me when it’s a multichapter fic :’D most kudos go for the already mentioned xicheng oneshot and most bookmarks go for the bts ot7 fic!

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: hmm if i could rewrite something, it would probably be my first bts fic and my second long fic called Even the Universe Makes Mistakes. that soulmate au now feels a bit outdated and there are many parts i would like to change and things i would love to think again.  then if i was allowed to expand some world, i would love to write more for the xicheng soulmate au bc there are many other pairings i would love to explore there too or just to see lxc’s take on the events perhaps. other thing would be my namgi oneshot it passes (for us both) bc i adore namgi and the love they create in that brief moment. 

Share a bit of a WIP: it hasn’t been long since i shared snippets of several wips but let’s go with my pingxie which i’ve been working on and am just so damn excited about (especially now that i can use the bazaar photoshoot imagery as inspiration):

“He moves, pulled in by the darkness of the lake, mirroring the softly blue sky with its gray, heavy clouds. The snow lands on his nose, into his lashes, clings to his coat and his shoes. He doesn’t feel cold, doesn’t hear anything beyond the softness of the snowfall. Nothing exists and everything does, real and fake at the same time, comforting but still making him feel afraid.

He could lose himself here, could be lost from everything. He could stay and be forgotten, could join those people that tried to make him remain, could take the easier way. He could rest, just like he was supposed to do so many times before.

Maybe he does belong, after all. Maybe he is part of this place, so awfully familiar with it, so willing to even stop his own heart to get here. And maybe he is not, this place only hungry for those who don’t yet remain, refuse to give into this dream-like space.”

thank you once more for tagging me my dear! this was fun even if looking back to my old fics and all the lack of updating and posting these days makes me feel kinda bad... i’ve just been in a slump lately and am slowly trying to get out of it even if i almost fall back in all the time. it’s funny when last spring i felt like i was at my peak sigh. but well, as i’ve already said, i have time right?

i dunno so many writers over here but i’m tagging @cross-d-a and @kholran bc i’m curious about your work. also tagging @inkblue-black and @jockvillagersonly if you want to blabber about something or if you just want to see this. and oh also tagging @wangxianbunnydoodles bc am always open for new ppl and i know that you write ^^ 

ALRIGHT I can finally post this! The first of hopefully a bunch of big movie cgi monster reimaginings that I want to do. This was also posted one month ago on my patreon, along WIPS and other stuff, so do check it out!! 

Anyway, this is the full, in-depth rework for the indominus rex that i worked on during April!! There’s a LOT of thought that went into this. and i mean A SHIT TON. I took the time to write a long ass artist/design commentary (under the readmore, bc its long) to explain all my decisions for this, design-wise! 

I hope yall like this :’) I spent an inordinate amount of time perfecting it

Artist commentary - Indominus rex

Okay there’s a lot I want to talk about but let’s start…. at the beginning shall we.

I did this whoooole thing for two reasons: 1. I want to prove that I am at least some good at creature design, and able to do concept art for my things and 2. a lot of movie monsters, particularly ones made by legendary studios, are never…. that great at all. The indominus had SO MUCH promise as a concept, but in the end they wasted her potential and that was really sad; so i took it onto myself to try and make another, wilder take on it.

OH BUT FIRST, DISCLAIMER: The art is in no way meant to be 100% anatomically correct. First bc this thing does not and hopefully never will exist physically, and second because I’m a simple student and can only dedicate so much time to anatomy and such yes.

PART 1. CONSTRUCTION OF THE BEAST

The indominus, according to the movie, is an artificial dinosaur, made from scraps and selected genetics from both a lot of dinosaurs (tyrannosaurus, gigantosaurus, therizinosaurus, majungasaurus, rugops, velocirraptor, carnotaurus and although it is not a dinosaur it also has deinosuchus dna) and some modern animals as well (including cuttlefish, tree frog and pit viper), making it a chimera of sorts.

The first thing you might notice is that.. i gave it a veil! Like a cuttlefish’s swimmy.. fin thing. The whole top part of the indominus is a cuttlefish “cover”, and hence it can do anything a cuttlefish could do (change colors or textures) but only on that part of its body. The movie pulling the ‘yeah it can turn invisible lol’ card was hhhh because we don’t really see it in action (i mean. That’s the point but also not) and it’s kind of wild that it could have just changed its whole body’s color at will so why not put a little more sense into it and just have it be the parts influenced by the cuttlefish? Oh, and a lot of the animals used to make this genetic trainwreck are water dwelling and/or amphibian so…  this monster is ALSO amphibian. It can swim really well, and generally do well in water for certain periods of time (it’s still much better suited for land but I digress). I think it’d have used the camouflage ability especially when going along the surface of the water so it’s stark white body doesn’t stand out horribly.

For the head I went with a much more crocodilian approach since it’s supposed to be heavy and wide, however the original design had a bunch of mistakes that i aimed to fix with that too, namely: the jaw joint being literally In The Neck for some reason, made it look frail as hell and like it’d have no strength, and also it had a horribly frail looking, shrinkwrapped neck, which I also took a stab at. (Speaking of shrinkwrapping, they did the same for the skull which. yikes.)

The OG head also had a ridiculous width to it compared to the eye placement, so it wouldn’t have been able to see much at all, added to the fact that it had a really, really small brain case.

In this new version i tried to fix all those things, and added a few aspects from other animals like the eyes being a mixture between slanted frog/snake eyes, and then the cuttlefish horizontal pupil. Biologically and realistically, this wouldn’t make much sense at all but fuck it, it can’t possibly be the worst thing.

The indo I made also has a lot of spikes on its head (as opposed to just two) and they’re all forward facing (as opposed to the OG’s backward facing spikes ???) AND last but not least it has heat pits right below its eyes. Those are from the pit viper and can sense heat signatures (cause i mean. why would you make a dinosaur and specifically mention pit viper dna but then do nothing with that. oh my god.)

I also discarded all the hard scales/spikes on the back in favor of it being able to make new ‘spikes’ with the cuttlefish texturing.

Next item: the arms. In the movie they’re a big part of the dinosaur’s action for whatever reason, it behaves like a half quadrupedal half bipedal creature. Sadly i elected to ignore that. The designers gave it long talons and then justified it by using therizinosaurus, which 1. had bigger talons, proportionately and 2. had bird wrists. So it could NOT have walked on its front legs and that’s the direction i went. Amped the fuck out of those claws, and i gave it the tree frog pads on its fingers (so instead of having to always spear things, it can hold onto stuff by patting it with those) and put some webbing all over bc 1. frog dna, 2. bird dna, 3. cuttlefish dna. I also gave it pin feathers on its forearms, because yeah velociraptor dna. Whoever did the OG design just said ‘yeah we gave it pin feathers from velociraptor dna’ which is what those weird spikes on its neck were, and called it a day.

The legs and tail don’t have that much more going on for them, same stuff. Frog pads and then a couple feathers. The tail itself i imagine is less rounded like we’ve been reconstructing theropods and more crocodilian looking so it can propel itself when swimming.

PART 2. GIVING IT FLAWS

Of course, being a genetic trainwreck, it’s not a Perfect Organism™, so you can see fuck-ups here and there because this thing had so many dna used for it...,

Let’s start with the head (because it’s where most of the items are anyway.)

The fucked up teeth. Those drove me up the entire wall in the OG design because yeah, they were fucked up bc of dna and that was cool! But they also had them all on the outside for some reason?? and they were stupid sharp and small so they didn’t look like many at all… just frail in general. I changed that to have a couple external teeth (croc dna again, tbh i just went with a lot of croc) and then a LOT of teeth actually inside the mouth. Also asymmetrical because, again. fuckt up.

In the mouth too, it’s got two tongues. One is actually functional, and the other (the snakey one) is fused to the bottom of its mouth. Itd still function as a smell sensory organ like an actual snake’s, it just cannot be thwiped out of the mouth.

The hole in its lower jaw is also the snake dna fucking up, making a not-quite-split jaw. It’s not functional either, it’s just a hole. It’s also got a regular opening to flick the tongue out like a normal snake, it just can’t.

I … did not give it scales (i did give it HINTS of scales, but nothing major) Because. yeah i figured it would be less likely to have them in this scenario haha

Also apparently in the movie they said it could manipulate its heat signature and i just scrapped that entirely cause what the fuck. I mean it’s cool but it didn’t do much, i feel like it’d be scarier if they could have KNOWN where this thing was but just couldn’t zone in on it either way bc it was that good at being stealthy.

The colors. The OG design is white bc of the invisibility thing, and it gives it an overall artificial feel that is great. I wasn’t quite able to emulate that because I went for a more naturally colored look, it’s just an albino bastard. Being this color would definitely be a disadvantage since it’d make it visible to everyone, so rather than just go ‘oh god oh fuck’ [turns invisible] and be done it’d have to curl up and position itself so the veil covers any would-be visible parts of it.

And uhh that’s about all I have! Ty for reading!

to all the boys that will *never* love me:

Dear christian, stephen, mikio, oscar, royce, pat, manny, derrick, mars, gill, rex, max, kevin, and nick -- whether y’all were a crush or someone i saw myself being in a relationship with get ready bc i’m going IN. I’m gonna use this time to rank these catastrophes from level 1 to level 5. level 1 being a crush yenno not so bad or scarring, and level 5 being sad machine playing while the world is burning to pieces like bish you left a MARK on my heart. if you know me i think you know who that person is hahaha

*alexa, please play truth hurts by lizzo*

christian - level 1. lol let’s take a trip down memory lane to my first crush ever!! my gosh i remember being so kilig over this boy in elementary school at st. leander lol it was so obvious. hahaha. your spikey hair and like goofy ass smile i don’t know i was such a sucker for that. the first filipino boy i ever crushed on waow <3 but then I left st. leander and never spoke to you again. you went to o’dowd, i went to sjnd and that was it really. you went to sfsu i went to usf. idk how we ever found each other on insta, but it is so cute to see posts of you and jasmine haha a USF don as well!! the last “convo” (i wouldn’t even call it that) was when i commented on your graduation post and you commented back thanking me and saying congrats too. so happy that your trillest brand is killing it and you know nothing about me anymore but what a great time it was to know you were my first crush ever lol. thanks for this <3

stephen - level 1. lol i left st. leander and moved to sjes and was like ok, who am i gonna crush on now?? hello stephen, my first white boi lol. i knew fosho that you thought i was weird in elementary school like there is a particular time where in church i sat next to you and during the our father you did not want to hold my hand LMAO and that’s when i knew. i stood from afar. touched your thumb for heads up 7 up HAHAHA gosh you were so out of my league and such an asshole tbh. you and nick, forever making fun of me for liking mikio lmfao hate y’all forever. you went to lmu and that was history. lmao you were so mean to me. but all well. you were like not a good person i think i just liked you because of your looks? lol hahaha

mikio - level 2.5. oh my god the epitome of my boy problems in high school lmfao fuck you. jk. but high school mika wouldn’t take that back. oh myyyyy what a FLIRT were you. i had so many fantasies thinking we’d be together, we’d be m&m HAHAH BARF wow, and then you dated mel and it was just like??? then you were my escort but then i was like nope and switched you with ryann LOL suuuuper crazy like I don’t really remember the details of everything but i knew in high school being so kawawa over not being noticed by you. but then you went to davis, slo, and now in sl?? idk where you are now but you had my heart back then (barf) but that was such a long time ago that honestly it doesn’t phase me anymore!! a feeling high school mika wouldn’t have thought was possible. so thank you. i liked you because you gave me little glimmers of hope of like maybe we could be together -- you were nice, flirtatious, close to your family... not afraid to make a fool of yourself for the one you’re interested in. which wasn’t me but again that’s okay! I wrote a letter to you didn’t i? idk what i was doing why was i so dramatic tbh. you did things that honestly weren’t in my control so i can’t hate you really. again realizing that you fit my type so it just, idk

oscar -- level 1. when mikio was being a butt i knew i could crush on you. LOL the hugs, the convos, being able to laugh at anything when you were in the room what a time SJND was when you were there. now you’re in boston with your boo and i’m still really regretful over not being able to see you when i was in boston last year but it’s okay. happy that you’re happy out there :-)

royce and pat -- level 1.5. ah. USF college times man. these two were literally a duo. RA’s of the 4th floor (share yall are silly for assigning that haha) and damn, what a trip it was to crush on you. royce you were a dj so thats how i knew my thing for dj’s came. you both did your jobs at ra’s, pat you were on eboard so i saw your hustle there which i super appreciated. and this is also how i knew filipinos were my type? lol. EVEN THO YALL WERE LIKE WITH BOOS lol i am cursed but yall had hustle, swagger, passion for what you love, and still made time for partying it up and studying. and now i see royce at parties sometimes n i would awk hug him (rip at the phoenix hotel party) and i havent seen pat since he graduated but hes so happy with becca!! so cute. and its cute (and weird) how kierst is happy with royce.

****DJ SPARKY/AGANA/YURI -- level 1. yall are dj’s who i will always cringe at bc of how naive i was at shooting my shot... BUT IM GLAD YOU ALL ARE THRIVING OK LETS DISMISS THOSE BOIZ NOW 

manny -- level 2.5. ahhhhh manny manny manny. my first trip towards using dating apps and matching with someone on TINDER!!! LOL!!!! ok anywho i met up with you for a few times and it was just like... a lot of question marks bc i didn’t really know where my standards were when it came to online dating. we went on dates? but the first time i paid, and the second time you “forgot your card” so i paid again?? and then you walked me to my dorm and kissed me on the forehead?? red alert!! then you kept wanting like a second chance, to prove me wrong and i kept ignoring you bc wtf lmao... then i was foolish to let you into my life again and realized that was a mistake and blocked you again. and now you’re like a bonafide dj living your edm dreams. i saw you at audio TWICE omg rip. i liked you because lol ur filipino, a dj, buttered me up a whole ton which again problematic bc i didn’t see any of it within myself... but its okay mika is better now. better to not be talking to you. but thank you for being my stepping stone into dating apps.

derrick -- level 1. omg at times i forget about you! which i don’t know is a good or bad thing but i don’t think i ever told anyone about you lol. we met on okc, this filipino boi (lol a trend) andddd i went on like two dates with him? one, i met up with him at that one coffee spot near golden gate park. then we walked over to ggp and we just talked and thinking about it now it was very ideal for me to be myself fully, in public if that makes sense. you were so nice and genuine omg. we went to sweet maple the second time around and you paid for the food which was like wow!! diff than manny!! and i remember talking to you about kh and you loving it as much as me. but i got scared because you were like 26 or somn? i was still 20 i think and i was like this dude might be asking a lot out of me...so i told him the “this is on me i don’t feel ready and not sure how i feel” spiel. and that was history. i honestly don’t know what he is doing now but he was really nice. i felt no malicious intentions from me, i just wasn’t ready to move forward w him. the first nice guy i ever let down bruh. ugh.i hope you’re doing well now though.  

mars -- LEVEL 5. fuck me i hate this chapter SO MUCH lmao. so many drunk cries and just cries in general post this whole... like chapter. but lets start off with why i liked you: handsome as hell, close to your family, athletic, hustled, SO MF KIND EVEN WHEN I WAS BEING CRAZY, a great homie and bf quality, gave me the false hope of like “yeah ill see if i can come through” “ill let you know when i listen to this” the forever ILL LET YOU KNOWS but still views my stories and still doesn’t let me know mentality.... you never initiated any of our convos. i was STRAIGHT pursuing you even though i didn’t believe that you’d change your mind about just seeing me as a friend. you made that clear to me from the start but i didn’t take that as an answer LOL which is why i was so crazy to keep hanging out with you... even tho you were super busy and i felt like a burden you STILL made time with me, whether that was peruvian food, or thursday nightlife followed by dancing at a bar together (which i ruined when you took me home and asked you about your love language lmao), souvla, and then our final time of seeing each other: san tung and tpumps. what a fucking few months that was...only to come out of it with another girlfriend with the same name as me. LIKE WHAT. ARE. THE. ODDS. i still can’t believe it till this day. my gosh you were so nice to me mars. such a great homie. and i wasnt empathetic or smart enough to make diff decisions to retain what we had...but im happy that you’re happy with mika. other mika. yeah. man i never felt so in the dark when going through this time, this was so rough. i wasn’t eating, i’d cry in bed for days, it was so bad. i’d like to say that I’m healed from that though. lol to burning the shirt which honestly i should have kept bc it was a cute shirt.. but yeah. thank you.

gill -- level 1. lol you were dumb to think i was attractive enough to dance with at the soulection event. we exchange numbers and i think because i told you i was 21, you backed off. lol guess i was a fetus then. still am. lmao. we text for a bit but then i find out you tried to get into arcilla’s pants?? lMAO. oh and then i see you at that pool party, saw you talking to other girls and i broke DOWN bc i was crossed as hell LOL sorry ate kayla that you had to take me home that day LOL ugh i hate myself for that night. and then i see you right in front of me at OSL. in 2019?? for childish?? that was such weird weird fate. thank god you didn’t recognize me (i had long black hair there, you remembered me with short brown hair plus it was dark). i just thought it was crazy. uhm you had the fuckboy vibe and look on point.. knew everything about soulection. family oriented. but it just fizzled bc i blocked you and then just stopped talking to you lol.

*****chris l/frankie -- level 1. again i cringe at how dramatic i pursued yall sorta as crushes but for sure bc yall were soulcycle and about fitness YES bodies 10/10 and you understood soul. but omg chris pls get ur life together (which is what it seems like ur doing??) and frankie well you’ve been having your life together being married and all so0o0o0 im trash for crushing lmao BUT IM GLAD THATS ALL IN THE PAST AND THAT WE’VE FORGOTTEN i think lmao

rex -- level 0.5. lmfao you were dumb you’re gonna keep looking at me and emily only for me to make the move in letting you know i was interested, follow you on ig, and then you block me?? weirdo. bye.

MY HINGE BOYS </3 

Max -- level 3. oh maximus lmao. we talked for a whole month and what a pleasure it was to text you every day, receive and send memes, curate playlists, be w/ each other at different events... only for it to end after we netflix party/facetime where i don’t feel the kilig i’d feel when texting you. so i told you i wanted to be friends. and then i try to still reach out and be friends, but i got delayed responses to no responses. and now you just, look at my stories? lmao i know it don’t mean shit to look and you recently liked my post, but i feel like i invested a lot into our quarantine reality. you had GREAT music taste (even tho ur playlist was a lil questionable), for all i know you were just telling me things to like get you on my good side, motivated, privileged......... yeah. i hope you find your 5′0 qt rave queen that can go to events with u

KEVIN -- level 1. lmfao honestly you SUCK hahaha even with the benefit of the doubt, it does not take 10 hours to reply...even if you are busy at work NICK AND MAX WERE ABLE TO!!! you were spotty to begin with but then we netflix party and then you dont talk to me anymore after i ask if we could exchange music playlists? i didnt even ask u to be my boyfriend its a fucking playlist.... we talked about music so much. ugh BOYS ARE SO DUMB LIKE SERIOUSLY. hope amazon treats ya right

NICK -- level 4. ugh. ughguhgughgh. i liked you because your profile/resume was all my criteria: music taste A1 bc of bryson, i hated mint chip, i loved spongebob (even tho you NEVER sent me spongebob memes fuck u), you were hapa (he he but fuck u) (i laugh while typing this i am so dum), uhm. yeah. we talked everyday consistently for two weeks. you were such a joy to text bc you were funny (i was funny too), even tho it was hard to keep the convo going w you at times in the beginning because you never inquired about me at times. max did. its like you were better than mars, but not like A+ in replying like max was. you never really flirted with me? lmao i mean even those attempts of me tryna bait you, i always got... friend vibes. benefit of the doubt maybe you just didn’t know how to flirt but you had posts of your past relationship up on your feed so you cant tell me that that exp did not have you pursue a girl and flirt her up. to me, there was no initiative from you. i was chasing you for sure. this dating life is a two way street -- life doesn’t work where one pursues you only otherwise like no. bet if i went the fuckboi approach, gave you lame responds would you have kept the convo going? prolly not bc ur a cancer and want to feel needed. the only thing ill commend you on is when you’d apologize for delays in text messages but then you kinda stopped that. like understand i should also feel like i should be pursued and never did i feel that i felt like you just responded just to respond... like you’re a cancer its in your nature to dive deep and ask deep questions but you never did, you were the type to play video games with your pals LMAO and like/????/? me understanding gamer life i was like YES this boy gets me but like CMON. lol so many things. ok maybe i am reading too into this but this is the freshest heartache :/ you never like told me i was cute or anything like... max made remarks about my looks and you never did. i mean cool maybe you were just vibing off my energy but i just now question if you were actually interested in me? bc i was trying so hard to make you like me. every meme, was a move. you didnt play your cards right!! its like i kept hitting you with plus fours, and then all you’d put down is the same color number card. where was the fun in that? it was super effortless but anxiety filling for me at the same time bc i was convinced that you were the one. :’/ super good news to hear that you wanted to meet virtually literally NO EXPECTATIONS but then monday rolls around, you dont text me the whole day, i check in at 530, you tell me you go to costco instead and want to reschedule bc you thought i was ghosting you????? wtf did u just like expect me to just call u right at 7 and expect u to be ready?? max texted me after work and was like “we still on right?” so i was high key expecting that from you bc 1. show interest and 2. take initiative but you DIDN’T!! so i was honest in telling you how i felt but kept it light and asked to reschedule. you take forever to reply, but when you do you tell me it was silly OF ME to think you were supposed to confirm it which i get i initiated it i shoulda texted you earlier (but what if i had the worst day ever and couldn’t text you??? would you have just let it be and not text me anymore bc you assumed i ghosted you???) you also said that you thought maybe it was too quick to assume that i ghosted you which is YES tru. however i was not going to apologize for not texting you earlier and waiting for you to reply bc boy, that was on you to make a move to double check. if i was in your shoes i woulda texted. that would indicate to me that oh wow this boy is making sure we are meeting and confirming! even drop a hey hows your day you excited for tonight? i made it obvious to hype you up on your photos and everything, you just were like wow your photos are so good! wow i hope you posted that picture! like idk. i kept it light bc i still really wanted to meet you, and just wanted to attribute this small ass thing as a misunderstanding between the two of us but after long hours of making me wait, you decide you don’t want to reschedule because you were unsure of how you were feeling and that you couldn't put your all in and said sorry. no sentiment towards wanting to be friends just a straight goodbye which basically meant, in harsher terms im prolly not as down as you are for me and maybe i am nervous to meet u (idk ill never know if you were) anddd im not interested anymore bc you’re crazy and ME being the womyn that i am ended up being the mature one and said the goodbye hope you have a good life without me text and then our lovestory ended lololol what a great two weeks am i right? honestly maybe you still need to do some growing buddy but relationships are not easy going they are a two way street but also ill never know maybe you were just texting me just to text me and you still wanted to be the nice guy bc you were scared of how invested things would be post call so you call it off and it was just in the moment for you to be down but then have it change on another day.... i woke up in a better headpsace today about how this turned out but like god fucking dammit i had high hopes for you you infj CANCER. *squidward voice* so thanks. thanks for NOTHING (this is when you start your spongebob dialogue of all how to get everyone on board for practicing for the bubble bowl and sing sweet victory)

so, the end LOL basically. to all the boys who will never love me, ultimately thank you for being a part of my life. thank you srsly. thank you for making me exp the pain, the kilig, the uh everything. growing pains these are, but at the end of the day, i hope you have a good life. whether or not we cross paths again this gives me clarity as to what i’m looking for and what i deserve. this goalgetting, resilient, funny, hardworking, awkward but in the best way pinay is a force to be reckoned with!!! she has the best support system out there!!! she has so much to live for because she is determined to not let down anyone counting on her!!!! so fuck u for missing out on that!!!

k. my ideal man list is coming soon. until then... see ya later.

xoxo,

Mika (allison to some)

QuickFics Event has concluded~

Thank you so much, everyone!

I am very proud of my one-year accomplishment!

I want to thank everyone individually that has participated, not only in the event but on my blog for the past year! I can’t do that personally, BUT I hope this post serves as a widespread THANK YOU!

You guys rock, and I’d be nothing but a silent writer without you XD. I love having a community to share things with and like-minded friends to make! I’ve met so many people that I cherish since I began this blog!

Thank you for every reblog on my fics! These mean the world!

I appreciate all the likes and comments! Having feedback on my work is something that helps me grow and change. Not only do I want to write things that make a difference, but I also want to make entertaining things!

Thank you to everyone that sends me personalized asks and sharing your positivity with me!

And a huge thank you to all my followers! This event was for yall, and I hope my appreciation came across with this event!.

I wanted to get kind of personal in my post so if that’s not your thing then don’t click “read more” lol and know that I adore you!

It’s funny. I don’t like commitment XD I think that’s why I got into otomes in the first place. It is. But, one of the things I have learned this past year is that there’s nothing wrong with committing. I used to be scared of what could happen. But life doesn’t care and will always be unpredictable no matter what you do. This has improved my friendships, my job, my family relationships, and that life lesson is the result of this blog lasting!

I never imagined I would stick to a hobby for so long tbh. One of my fav hobbies is language learning, and I usually stop after a few months and jump to another language. I ended up having the basic “Hello, how are you.” phrases in several languages and nothing past that. (Maybe some colors and curse words XD lol)

BUT then writing happened to me! (again?) Writing is something I secretly did as a child until my mother found one of my stories and showed my father and they laughed about it together :( It was a mermaid story, and it was about a mermaid girl meeting a human boy and becoming friends with them. But, somehow (with my 5th-grade knowledge of writing) the wording was so hilarious to my parents that it needed to be ridiculed. They made fun of spelling mistakes I made, typos and even the name of the boy I was writing about. (Wyatt, which I thought was a badass name. Calling him “What”) And I stopped writing, full stop. Unfortunately this wasn't the only instance of this. I didn’t want that kind of attention from my parents like that :(

In high school, I aced all my literature classes and always got complimented on my writing from good teachers. I started a notebook (because I knew if I started writing on my family’s shared computer, my mom could find my writing and ridicule the story again) and HAND WROTE a more mature version of the said mermaid story. It had lore, and it had love, loss, sacrifice, and an MC that I adored! I hand wrote enough to fill up two and a half one-subject notebooks. (How did my hands not fall off??? I probably wrote close to 45k words by hand out of fear that my work might be found out again...)

This had me spin-off with some other stories, and the spark seemed to be there. (All written in notebooks ofc) But life got in the way. I didn’t know any other writers, and I didn’t know where to go from where I was. In college, I took a creative writing class, but the teacher dropped the course, and I was defaulted to another English/writing class that was hella boring. It had a hand in making me hate writing all together for a while. It just didn’t seem like writing was something I was meant to do. So much was against me, so I quit. Again, thanks to my fear of committing to anything for long periods of time.

Fast forward to five years. I began reading a lot of books, unapologetically this time. I used to try to read what people didn’t make fun of, but when romance books were my fav thing I had to sneak them. Then I found fanfiction, and I was FLOORED. There were so many short stories, little universes, about my favorite otome/anime OTPs!!!

I have always been a dreamer. Daydreams ruled my life for as long as I can remember. There was always a side story playing in my head, ever-changing but always magical. It was amazing for me to see other peoples daydreams and fantastical stories written out and shared with the world! I appreciated them so much and wanted to hug each story and say, “Thank you for existing!” lol.

It took me a while, years, but I cracked open my computer (now only owned by me) and began typing away. It was terrible lol like super bad. I hadn’t been in school for a while, so I forgot all about “first person,” “second person,” “Third-person,” even basic grammar and editing. I spent a few months writing, and literally taking free online English grammar courses to relearn a bunch of stuff. xD

I still don’t know everything (obvs lol, like who does?), but I like where I am at, where I am going, and how I’m growing. 

Being able to write out my daydream was an absolute savage feeling. It made the story more real. The daydream was like smoke, and my written story was solidified matter, tangible. There was suddenly color, and scents, voices coming through, and lots and lots of emotions I didn’t know I’d feel. A community of people that I could share all this with as well, that didn’t ridicule me for my stories but instead lifted me up and encouraged me!

Now that I am writing again. I feel like I learned a whole new language, and I can express myself. It’s as if I couldn’t speak for so long and now I can sing.

so tumblr, what incredibly petty, ridiculous things are you fully planning on literally dying mad about? cuz for me, there are two very specific incidents in my life that i have actually out-loud sworn to still be bitter about while lying on my deathbed, both of them involving food establishments that have wronged me

okay this post got wildly out of hand (i am a dramatic bitch) so the rest is under the cut

first, the Saga of the Medium Dipped cone. so a few years back when i still lived in vegas, a brand new dairy queen opened up a few blocks away from my house which was personally like a gift from the heavens. idk if u know this abt me, but literally one of my favoritest things on this earth is a chocolate-dipped vanilla soft serve cone, and honestly tbh nobody does it as good as my queen of dairy do. so i was excited to have such unfettered access to my supplier so wonderfully close to my abode, and as soon as i noticed they were open, i begged my dad to take me one day. now, i may love a dipped cone but i’m not an animal, so when drivethru dude asked what size i wanted for my frosty chocolate treat, i said medium. sensible, i thought. not pathetically tiny, but not complete hedonism either. a reasonable amount of chocolate-shelled cream to apply directly to my face parts, or so i thought.

cuz what i in fact received from drivethru dude was a giant fucking cone,literally almost a foot of that fuckin sugar styrofoam nonsense  (easily the worst part of the ice cream cone experience we are all in agreement, right?) with maybe abt a half an inch of soft serve on top, hastily slathered in some chocolate shell. and y’know, i understand mistakes can be made sometimes, so i asked my dad to double check the sitch, because that didn’t seem like my previous experiences with a medium dq dipped cone. so my dad is like “this was supposed to be medium?” and this guy, this fucking guy, looks my dad straight in the face with his cold, lifeless demon eyes and goes “oh, well, it’s just the cone that’s larger.”

THE CONE. THAT IS LARGER. JUST THE CONE. JUST THE CONE. *deep breaths* i like to think i’m a reasonable person, esp when it comes to exhausted retail/food service workers. we’re all just trying to get that bread, i understand. but yall. YALL. i about leapt over my father into that fuckin window and pummeled this dumb motherfucker. THE CONE. the fUCKING CONE IS LARGER.

i came home actually, literally, ranting about how the fuck this fuckin guy thought he could get away with giving me a “medium” dipped cone that was literally just a small ice cream in a giant ice cream package. i ate the cone, of course, and it turned to ashes in my mouth. my heart grew as icy cold as the pathetic amount of soft serve i consumed, and merely a moment later, it was gone. and my mom, my beautiful perfect precious mom was just like “next time you go, just get a small cone, and proportionally it will be more ice cream!” which honestly, is just a portal to madness at that point.

so anyway, me and the moms went back a few weeks later and i thought surely, surely they wouldn’t try that shit again, right? it was just a fluke? just a single, cruel person who hadn’t known love or joy and was too fuckin lazy to make my ice cream properly, but this time, surely, it would be different. dairy queen could redeem themselves! i believed in the power of redemption!! second chances!! so i, like an idiot, ordered a medium. dipped. cone.

AND GUESS WHAT I FUCKIN GOT. GUESS. GO ON. YOU’LL NEVER GUESS. because it was actually, somehow, less ice cream than last time, still on a medium-sized cone. like which demon thought when i ordered a medium-sized ice cream cone what i was really hoping for, what my truest heart’s desire, was a medium-sized empty-ass cone to eat. ice cream, guys. ice cream is what you serve, ice cream is what i thought i was ordering what is WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. i was livid.

and from that day forth, i actually and literally swore that i would go to my literal and actual grave still seeking vengeance upon this establishment that had wronged me so egregiously. every time i go to a diary queen now i order a medium dipped cone, almost spitefully, and wait to see what they give me. thus far no one else has been dumb enough to try the “oh it’s just a larger cone” bullshit on me, and i haven’t had to try and nuke the entirety of dairy queen as a brand from orbit. for now.

my second story isn’t quite as dramatic but definitely still just as petty and ridiculous. this is The Sushi Incident, and it goes like this: when we first moved to utah, me and mom were shopping around for a sushi restaurant. our expectations for the food culture in this state had been already thoroughly disillusioned by this point, and after a few too many 4-star yelp reviews that surely must have been posted sarcastically led us down some dark, dark paths, we were desperate for anything approaching edible at this point. and so we hit up a pretentious looking place near where i worked, and it was busy and loud and took forever for us to get a table, but i was trying to be positive here. and i was looking over the menu and it actually kind of all looked terrible but-positive, i’m trying to be positive here, so i was searching for something that sounded good. and i noticed- under the basic sushi rolls, there was something missing. my number one, go-to staple sushi order. my version of the cheeseburger. my safe haven, that thus far not even the worst restaurant has managed to ruin for me. the rainbow roll. (yes, 95% of the reason i order it is because it’s called a rainbow roll, and therefore, it is the gayest sushi option).

so i asked the waiter, innocently, curiously, oh, do you guys not have a rainbow roll on your menu? and this monster, this eldritch abomination in the shape of a white guy (it’s always fuckin white guys, isn’t it) stared at me, like i’m fucking with him. complete blank face. like i was veering wildly off menu here, some demanding spoiled brat asking for herculean tasks in my honor. the fuckin grocery store makes rainbow rolls. this is entry level bullshit. i tried halfheartedly to explain-y’know, it’s a california roll, but it’s got slices of raw fish on top. like, c’mon dude. it’s the ham-and-cheese sandwich of the sushi rolls. and he just shrugged awkwardly and wandered off.

i don’t remember what we ended up ordering that night, i think i blocked the traumatic experience from my memory. but i do remember appending another black mark to my Record, and one day i know that i’m going to be old and withered, in a hospital somewhere surrounded by generations of my family, my wife beside me holding my hand. and i’m going to beckon towards one of my great grandchildren, and i’m going to pull them close, and i’m going to whisper they didn’t fuckin know what a rainbow roll was and then my heart is going to stop beating. those will be my last words.

so, like, pls, tell me i’m not the only one with these ridiculous stupid petty grudges against things?? pls???

Are You The One Season Finale Recap: Just Put Me Out of My Goddamn Misery (PART TWO)

Since everyone bitches and whines about how long my recaps are, I separated them into two parts. Pick up a book, you lazy pieces of shit and read part 1 here >>

Chuck is like, were not going to win so next match ceremony Im picking Britni and everyone is like Chuck and Alec start yelling at each other and having a food fight, which pisses off Alec more because hes a firm believer that you should never waste food.

Alec: WE SHOULD NEVER QUIT Chuck: Eat a dick dude

Chuck goes up to push Alec, which is a huge mistake surfer brah, and Alec shoves Chuck to the ground like hes made of paper. Alec, congrats, your ovaries have officially transformed into a small chode of a penis. Gotta start somewhere.

Britni is like You would shove Chuck, who btw looks like a Ken doll version of the lead singer of AFI, for money?! Thats some shit ONLY poor people would say. Britni, people have done way worse shit for way less money. Read a book, tune into the news, watch Empire (or read my recaps).

Rashida and Devin are like And I agree. I did not sit through 10 weeks of this retarded shit to watch yall give up.

Devin is like If I can get this fresh batch of mentally incapable humans to win this stupid fucking reality show, it would be equivalent to the greatest feat in sports history. Which sport? Speed walking? Turn on ESPN Devin, I fucking dare you.

Zak and Hannah are mourning the fact that they arent a match, and tbh, I am too.

Cheyenne is talking to Devin about how he is disrespectful and is like

Devin: (actual quote) Im a shit head, but not a total shit head. – I honestly dont even need to try and be funny for these recaps, they all say enough stupid shit where I dont even have to try.

THE GAME

Chuck is like, I was hammered last night and said dumb shit and Im going to actually play this thing. Thank god Chuck, otherwise I seriously would have cunt punted you, and your little dog too! (Britni)

The game is the easiest one of the season: its an obstacle course with girls sitting on their back. There is a true/false section, where if the team guesses it right, then they get 30 seconds off their time.

Zak and Kayla are in first, which is crazy because Zak might be the smallest out of all of them. Alec is terrible with this shit and is back to being a giant bitch.

Melanie and Tyler go to the true or false thing, where Mel admits she offered Chuck a threesome, which is a new low.

Kayla and Zak win, being the Italian stallions. Rashida and Devin get second and Mel/Tyler get third because they answered the question right- aka, Mel is a closeted freak.

Stacey is talking to Nelson about how she has no idea who her match is and shes talking so fast I could have sworn it was a Gilmore Girls episode. You can def tell Stacey is fucking hammered in this, but its cool. I love Stacey. And apparently so does Nelson. Okay whatever.

Meanwhile, Alec is flirting with Amanda and Kiki is like WTF. Which is literally her reaction to everything- WTF.

THE DATE

Theyre hanging out on fucking boat that doesnt even have a bar. That sounds like some Life of Pi shit.

Devin and Rashida are flirting and shes like except this shitty white guy with a butt chin.

Zak and Kayla are like you remind me of my family so they must be a match- some fucking Freudian shit right there. Chelsey the aspiring psychologist is probably fucking creaming her pants somewhere in the distance.

Tyler and Melanie are like, were besties and Tyler thinks thats code for match but Mel was like,

THE TRUTH BOOTH

The group makes a smart decision for once ,(they probably all broke out in hives afterwards because we all know they are allergic to brainpower), and send Zak and Kayla to the truth booth. Hannah is like Hannah save the stupid lines for Hunter please, babe.

Zak and Kayla make their way to the truth booth, looking like a set of fraternal twins walking into their grandmas 90th birthday. Not gonna lie, Im stressed right now. Im on bottle number 2 of wine, and shit is REAL rn.

Results are in and- THEYRE A PERFECT MATCH! YAAAAAAASSSS.

Everyone is screaming and jumping while Hannah is like, . Its okay Hanz, its not like these matches are real. Those rules arent even real! They were real that day I wore a vest!

Alec and Kiki are flirting and they are drunk AF and Kiki is like Shes talking about how she got stupid fucking matching bracelets for her perfect match and Im like

Devin is doing his shit math again using red solo cups, I feel like an algebra class is being taught in a frat house. Aka this shit is dumb AF.

They determine there are two scenarios- one where Kiki mtches with Alec, and one where she doesnt. Guess which one best friends forever bracelet Kiki wants?

The decide to use deductive reasoning and rationality.

Jk, they decide to flip a fucking coin. I CANT RIGHT NOW WITH YOU PEOPLE. Hunter is like Here is a quarter and ew, I dont trust anyone who has change offhand like that. Get a fucking debit card, you hillbilly fuck.

Kiki is upset because they get scenario one, but you know if the coin flipped for the scenario she wanted shed be like PERFECT! ITS ALL SETTLED, THIS COIN IS HOLY.

Tyler is like, Fuck your heart Tyler, fuck it. Austin is like WOAH you need to figure this shit out. Like I dont mean to sound aggressive, but if you fuck us all over were probs gonna stab you.

Never did I ever think that the game would rest in Tylers hands. Take a drink to that.

THE FINAL MATCH UP CEREMONY

Devin is like, there is a high possibility we lose- not high, almost definite. But he thinks they chose scenario one for a reason, that reason being a coin flip.

Ryan gives some speech about love and how they need it and its like, save it Ryan. Empire comes on in 20 minutes and I need to get this show on the road.

Austin is first and he picks Britni– basing it off the fact that he wanted a girlfriend who would be a ghost for most of their relationship and they would get together eventually when it was convenient. You know what thats called? A fuckbuddy. You came on a reality show to find a fuckbuddy. May I suggest Tinder next time?

Hunter is next, and Ryan is like, do you all have a strategy? And hes like clearly fate isnt on our side, so we decided to do a coin flip. So, fates not on your side, and you decided to rely on it again? Seems legit.

Ryan is like, And Connor and Chelsey are like

Hunter picks Hannah, which is a weird match but whatever I dont care anymore. Im gonna be honest, this whole season I thought Hunter was secretly gay.

Devin is up next and he picks Rashida. Rashida, girl, I have been praying for you. Clearly I am a sinner because my prayers have not been well received. My b.

Tyler is up next and were all on edge. Hes like I think Melanie is my match truly and this is the biggest plotline he has had all season, so hes rollin with it. Tyler ends up picking Cheyenne, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Alec picks Amanda, and Kiki is like WTF (again). What is she gonna do with her bracelet?!!!!

Nelson picks Stacey and RyDev is like, And shes like, Okay, thatll work. Cant wait for an invite to the wedding.

Chuck is up next and gives an inspiring speech. Well, it would be inspiring if he wasnt talking to a band of idiots who put their fate in a coin toss and if he didnt look like a homeless folk singer.

Chuck picks Melanie. Shes like, well this sucks because well never date because hes still fucking Brittni. Maybe you can get that threesome you wanted, skank.

Kiki is last, and ends up alone, well, because her match is Mike. #tbt to Mike. LOL. She shows those bracelets to Ryan and Ryan tries so hard not to fucking vomit on her. Kiki is like I am not confident at all Mike is my match and honestly, ditto.

The beams and RyDevs dramatic hand motions begin. They get 4 beams, which they have never gotten before, so #progress..They get a 5th, then a 6th, then a 7th. Everyone is on edge as fuck, and I am stunned into complete silence at home. Even my boyfriend, who has migrated out of the room is whispering no fucking way to himself. Idk if he is saying that because hes surprised Im silent for once, or surprised that they just might actually win.

They get 8 OMG, They literally need one more to win the fucking game. Im shaking.

THEY GOT TEN BEAMS! THEY WIN THE FUCKING GAME.

MIRACLES HAPPEN (queue song from The Princess Diaries)

MTV IS THE LAND OF DREAMS

IM CRYING

IM SCREAMING, I FEEL THINGS

Okay, Im back. Wow Im hammered. So its made clear- either MTV is a magical place where miracles prevail, or this shit is staged AF. I mean, we all saw The Hills.

Wow, thats it for this season and this truly unique group of escaped mental patents. Thanks for reading, even though, lets be honest- I made your shitty Thursdays infinitely better. And to the cast who read and tweeted me, thanks for having a thick skin. Low key surprised I havent received a death threat from Britni by now. Good luck existing in the real world, you all are sure gonna need it. And if youre ever in California, come buy me a beer, because god knows I deserve one for putting up with your shit.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-season-finale-recap-just-put-me-out-of-my-goddamn-misery-part-two/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/178560286887