my school has an anonymously run “confessions” Instagram page where people can submit stuff and it’s all lame shit like “ooohh I jacked off during a zoom call” or “ohhh ableist stuff ableist stuff ableist stuff” or “ohh I got a teacher fired”

but I want to submit something that’s like “I’m sorry to my best friend Steeble Stompleton, who I accidentally got him trapped in the wizard portal and we can’t figure out how to get him out. Hopefully nothing has eaten him yet. Sorry buddy, we’re trying to answer the wizards riddle right now. Good luck”

and then a second one that says “this is steeble stompleton, it’s so fucking dark in here and all the wizards are mean :(“

and then a third one that says “hello it’s me the wizard *wizard noise*”