Upcoming Benefit Shows In Our Area

Upcoming Benefit Shows In Our Area

The world is often a cruel place but we can make it a little better for those in need when we attend benefit shows that donate the proceeds to good causes. There’s a few coming up in the DMV that I thought I’d mention here real quick (you can always get the full list of upcoming metal concerts in the greater DC, Baltimore and Northern Virginia area on our handy calendar here). Ben Blanton plays…

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Seasick Gladiator playing at The Pocket in Washington DC, March 3, 2024

Sunday 4/14:

FLUMMOX / Spiral Grave / Seasick Gladiator / U&Me&Me&U | 7PM | $13 adv ~ $15 atd

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DRAMEDY! Drag & Comedy & Burlesque Open Mic Night!  FREE @ 8 [Bring Cash for TIPS!] | hosted by Kenny Rooster! Want to perform? Sign ups at @kennyroostercomedy

How To Book Your Own Tour

~Bacon's Blog~

Photographs by Randy J Byrd

Jason Kindred of Void King

DIY tour booking is a big topic that I won’t be able to get too deep into, given the inherent constraints of the format, but one that I know you all want to know about, regardless. I’ve booked countless DIY tours since I was eighteen years old. I booked my first international tour when I was still a teenager. While I’ve definitely had struggles with this, so has literally everyone who has booked tours. I’ve booked everything from small debut runs to tours for groups like Exhorder and Wo Fat.

There Is Nothing by Void King

This stuff isn’t always easy, but it’s part of the game, and vital to master if you want to reach the ever-present "next level" in the world of being a DIY band. Knowing how to book shows -- and meaningful ones at that -- is essential. Before we get into this, don’t use this as a blueprint to immediately begin booking national tours. While you can indeed use it for this purpose, it’s going to be useless to tour nationally if you’re a new band. None of the fifteen people you play to in Reno will remember your band from Philly when you come back two years later. Use this to start regional, then spread your wings and go national.

Nika McKagen and Danny Shyti of Horse Culture

The first step for any sort of tour booking is finding the right contacts. A good starting point is finding the right local promoters, who will actually work to ensure shows go well. "But Matt," you may ask, "how do I get in contact with people who are almost always drowning under a constant flow of people trying to get in contact with them?" This is a great question, and underpins many of the reasons behind why I’ve always emphasized that you need to be constantly immersed in your scene. At the core, this is kind of what it boils down to.

Follow by Horse Culture

If you don’t talk to a ton of folks doing DIY music around you, then you won’t get to know the right people to talk to about getting a show in the next city over. If you don’t go to DIY shows, then you won’t meet the bands from other cities who might be able to connect you with their favorite local promoters, or even play with you in order to improve the amount of people at the show. Start off by engaging deeply with your scene, and you’ll create the foundation you need to be perceived as a valued part of your local community, a quality embodied by every successful DIY band.

Jake Swanson of The Astral Void

From there it’s easy. All you need to do is reach out to friends you have in relevant small cities and ask them who books cool shows where they live, six to eight months before when you want to tour. I know that sounds like a lot, but it’s what you gotta do. Odds are, friends will know who the local promoter is and might even facilitate an intro via Facebook. For the record, I’m a huge fan of the intro message or email. It’s a great way for promoters to see that you’re legit. If they note that someone they respect took time out of their day to hook this up, it’s often all the proof you need to get your foot in the door. Otherwise, the promoter might just feel like you were dumped on them.

Mandragora by the Astral Void

When talking to a promoter for the first time, definitely be very clear about what you want, but also be sure to ask them about themselves. If they don’t want to open up and just want to talk business, it’s fine, but some are going to want that deeper relationship. Feel ‘em out -- sometimes small talk is key. However, small talk or no, always remember to be direct with regards to what you are asking for. So often, people will get in touch with me and beat around the bush about their requests, and it just feels weird.

Ryan Evans of Cruthu

So, you’ve gotten in touch with a local promoter who seems reasonable and wants to actually give you a slot! Congratulations, but this is just the first step though. Chances are, the promoter will want help constructing the bill, setting up a flyer, or with other admin or promotional tasks. I’d recommend you start with a few hours spent delving into Encyclopaedia Metallum to find other bands in the scene who could be on the show.

The Angle of Eternity by Cruthu

Furthermore, there’s a lot to be said about the integrity of the promoter if they proactively set up a Facebook event page for your show. This means that THEY took the time to officially acknowledge the show is happening. A lot of people will try to squirm out of shows if they feel overwhelmed. I’ll admit, I’ve done this myself. Though, in my experience, usually when the promoter sets up the event page themselves, they have a bit more of an emotional connection with the show, and are more likely to ensure that it will actually happen. Otherwise, just stay in regular contact and see what you can do to help with the show. Remember what I said that other time about being a good guy? Understand that on the DIY level, the promoter is doing you a favor!

Zak Suleri of Seasick Gladiator

The final step now is just advancing the tour. About a month out from the tour, send an email to every promoter asking about all the key details of the show. Make sure you find out all the details about the opening bands, your time slot, where to park, if there will be any food offered, and all of that other stuff. This is another way to make sure that the shows are actually happening and that people aren’t trying to dip out last minute.

House of Aristippus by SEASICK GLADIATOR

Inevitably, not all of your advance emails will be answered right away (or at all), yet persistence is key. If nobody responds, just follow up a week later, and make sure that you get the info you need. The advance email is a great way to collate essential data about your tour. When you have information on your side, people are going to be a lot more comfortable about what’s going down on the night itself, making for a less stressful experience for both the band and the promoter. The more you can grease the wheels, the easier it will be.

So that’s the less-than-a-thousand-word-Matt-Bacon-guide-to-tour-booking. I know it sounds like a lot of information, but that’s because it is. Tour booking is really hard to figure out. It’s the sort of thing that you’re constantly going to need to be building on and investing time in. To actually build up the network you need to meet the right people is a massive task in and of itself. However, take heart. After you’ve done this a handful of times, it’s going to get easier and you’ll even be able to help your buddies’ bands with their own booking. It’s a long term investment, but you need to be a freak to do this after all. Embrace your inner madman, be careful in your booking strategy, and invest deeply in your scene — it will pay off.

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Matt Bacon (IG: mattbacon666) with Dropout Media is a consultant, A&R man, and journalist specializing in the world of heavy metal. Matt also co-hosts the Dumb & Dumbest podcast with Curtis Dewar of Dewar PR.

hey guys did you know that super mario bros 2 for the nintendo entertainment system wasn’t really a mario game originally it was part of government mind control program MKUltra II?

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! quotes This is a list of quotes from the television show The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!. They are listed by character. Contents 1 Mario 2 Luigi 3 King Koopa 4 Toad 5 Princess Toadstool Mario"Hey paisanos! It's The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!" - Opening Credits "Do the Mario!" - Closing Credits "Don't worry, Princess! Luigi and me'll climb that mountain before you can say "Spaghetti and Meatballs"! -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Okay, wait here! And if you become lunch for a polar bear, don't blame us! -"The Bird! The Bird!" "I hate to run on an empty stomach!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Must be a beehive nearby, and when there's bees; there's raviolis smothered with honey" - "King Mario of Cramalot" "If Toad doesn't get us outta here soon, I'm gonna eat this mattress!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job, is when we're working by the hour!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Catfish pizza? This may be a first, but I'm not hungry!" - "Rolling Down the River" "Excuse my brother, he gets nervous around guys six times bigger than him." - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "We can fix anything if there's spaghetti involved!" - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "Hey, Koopa! I hope your Big and Tall shop blows up, with you in it!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk" "Those ain't wedding bells in your tower! They're bats in your belfry!" - "Love 'Em and Leave 'Em" "Hey! Where'd you learn how to ride a bike!?" - "The Great BMX Race" "Get back here, Koopa! Don't you know vegetables are good for you?" - "The Great BMX Race" "Not on my melted mozzarella! - "Stars in Their Eyes" "If food isn't pasta, it doesn't count!" - "Jungle Fever" "Unstoppable? We're plumbers! If we can unstop a stop, we can stop the unstoppable!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas" "Magnifico! You're stronger than Grandma Mia's garlic chip cookies!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas" "Faster than a vanishing clog! More powerful than an electric drainsnake! It's Super Mario!" - "Pirates of Koopa" "She's not much, but she sure beats swimmin'!" - "Pirates of the Koopa" "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Then beat 'em!" - "Pirates of the Koopa" "Remember, Luigi, you gotta act tough!" - "Pirates of the Koopa" *singing* "Hush, little Princess, don't you cry. I'm gonna buy you a pizza pie. And if that pizza pie gets ate, Luigi'll buy you a New York steak." - "Two Plumbers and a Baby" "This is the first time my lunch ever took a bite out of me!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario" "I just love food that's spicy!" - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service" "I always cry at wedding feasts!" - "Mario and Joliet" "Koopa's gonna take a trip he didn't plan on!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "I hope the food's better than the furniture!" - "Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold" "As we say in Brooklyn; Banzai!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "Save the spaghetti! Save the spaghetti!" - "Mario and the Red Baron Koopa" "Koopone, you've Kooped your last Koop!" - "The Unzappables" "It doesn't look good for the good guys, Luigi!" - "The Mark of Zero" "I guess Mexican food doesn't agree with El Koopitan!" - "The Mark of Zero" "When Luigi's unfrozen, he's goin' on a diet!" - "The Koopas Are Coming! The Koopas Are Coming!" "It's ugly, but it floats!" - "The Trojan Koopa" "What? Only one pizza?" - "Quest for Pizza" "The Mushroom People get the mine, and Koopa gets the shaft!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "When the plumbing gets tough, the tough get plumbing!" - "Plummers Academy" "I can't quit now, Luigi! I was born with a plunger in my hand!" - "Plummers Academy" "Me Marzan! King of the jungle!" - "Mario of the Apes" "Can't we discuss this man to Mouser?" - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers" "First, we'd better get inside by a fire, before we turn into pasta-sicles!" - "Little Red Riding Princess" "The Provolone Ranger is ready to ride. High ho, Ostro, away!" - "The Provolone Ranger" "Help, help! There's a big, ugly spider in here! Help! My yelling's gonna keep you up all night, unless you get this spider outta here!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "Luigi, are you a man or a Mouser?" - "Mario of the Deep" "I guess somedays, even Super Mario can't think of everything!" - "Flatbush Koopa" "Don't count your reptiles before they're hatched, lizard lips!" - "Raiders of the Lost Mushroom" "I was hoping we'd have lunch, not be lunch!" - "Crocodile Mario" "I just love playin' Koopa in the middle!" - "Crocodile Mario" "I just had the strangest dream. I was a TV dinner!" - "Star Koopa" "He's showing a plumber how a garbage disposal works?" - "Star Koopa" "Watch it, gang! His toes are loaded!" - "Robo Koopa"Luigi"I can't! I'm allergic to mountains!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "P-polar bear? Lunch!?" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Hey, Super Mario! Super-cook their goose!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" (*sobs*) He was the nicest little fungus I ever knew!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Who could forget? Don't take chances or you'll go down the drain!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "C-c-crama's here in-in Koopalot? Uh, I mean, uh, Koopa's here in Cramalot? I mean, uh, shee, let's split this place!" - "King Mario of Cramalot" "Me? B-b-but I can't swim across the moat! I'm, uh, gonna have a baby!" - "King Mario of Cramalot" "Fellons? Yo, I never fell on nobody! I'm uh..." - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Oh no! End dend! I mean, dend dead! I mean shee, we're trapped!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "I've had it! I've had it, I've had it! I'm tired of Koopa chasing us from world to world! I wanna go home!" - "Brooklyn Bound" "Guess we're stayin' in Mushroom Land." - "Brooklyn Bound" "Mama mia! We shoulda rented a camel with air conditioning!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "Look at that loot! Diamonds, gold, rubies! It must be worth over a hundred bucks!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "I told him that he wants really yummy carpet to head for Koopa." - Mario's Magic Carpet "So, what do we do now, Mr. Big Time Gambler?" - "Rolling Down the River" "Okay, Mario. One all ya got, coming up!" - "Rolling Down the River" "He's too busy eating, Mario! He's your kind of horse." - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "Hey! That's my brother Mario, you three-faced double-crosser!" - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "Leapin' lasagna! This room's bigger than the Brooklyn Public Library!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk" "I th-think I liked it better when we outnumbered them!" - "The Great BMX Race" "I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach." - "The Great BMX Race" "That's what I call Shower Power!" - "Stars in Their Eyes" "Yo, my brother: the pasta vampire." - "Count Koopula" "Gee, that Mario. He can pulverize a pasta factory and still have room for dessert!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario" "Gee. Mario gets the brainstorms, and I get the backaches!" - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?" "You got 'em!" - "Koopenstein" "You don't got 'em." - "Koopenstein" "Let's really keep it a secret that we're agents, uhh, by stayin' here"! - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service" "Eh, it was nothin'! Danger is our business!" - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service" "Annette Funicello? Where?" - "Mario and Joliet" "Pluggin' up pipes goes against everythin' we stand for!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "Zelda of Legend! Next the from scenes! Some me show halfwit you!" - "Time Out Luigi" "The dungeon? I'm allergic to dungeons!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men" "Better make that "The more for Mario"!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men" "We're stuck here like hairballs in a drainpipe!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "Hey! I may be crazy, but I'm not dumb!" - "Mario and the Red Baron Koopa" "This place is emptier than a flushed drainpipe!" - "The Ten Koopmandments" "I want my mommy!" - "The Ten Koopmandments" "The Koopas are coming! The Koopas are coming!" "When our soldiers thaw out, we're gonna throw your tea in the harbor!" - "The Koopas Are Coming! The Koopas Are Coming!" "But I get seasick on a horse!" - "The Koopas Are Coming! The Koopas Are Coming!" "Aww, Toad. Did'ya hafta say dead?" - "The Trojan Koopa" "How ooga bugga-mugga wa-ooga-ma!" - "Quest for Pizza" "Ouch! Someone's standin' on my toe, and it's not me!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "Mario's mind was where it always is: on pasta." - "Karate Koopa" "Relax, princess! He knows who he is! Mario's always gone ape for meatballs!" - "Mario of the Apes" "I'm a chicken of the sea!" - "Mario of the Deep" "The only good thing so far is: we got to ride the roller coaster without a ticket!" - "Flatbush Koopa" "Stop him, Mario! Tell him Italian food is not on his diet!" - "Crocodile Mario" "I knew we should've built this raft with brakes!" - "Crocodile Mario" "Bein' garbage really makes a guy feel down in the dumps!" - "Star Koopa" "Koopa was scary enough when he was just a slimy reptile!" - "Robo Koopa"King Koopa"Koopa Pack, attack!" - Various episodes "He who koops and runs away lives to koop another day!" - Various episodes "Watch it soldier, when I want my feet licked, I'll ask for it! {quickly} I want my feet licked." - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Like my grandfather Poopa La Koopa always said: "Cheat, beat, and be merry!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Don't know what I'd do without my carpet phone!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "I'll get you for this, you pesky plumbers! A Koopa never forgets!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "Happy? Imposter! I never use the H word." - "Rolling Down the River" "Fool! Those pinhead plumbers are bound to try to rescue Princess Toadstool, and I intend to capture them before they do." - "Rolling Down the River" "Don't question my orders, you rotten rodent! Just do it!" - "Rolling Down the River" "Don't interrupt me, not while I'm boasting and gloating!" - "Rolling Down the River" "Stop wisecracking, mushroom, or I'll turn you into soap!" - "Rolling Down the River" "One of the nice things about being evil is... you get to lie a lot.  Ha ha." - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "Fum fee fi fo! I smell the brothers Mario!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk" "That goose is gonna smother you brothers!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk" "OK, that does it! You're all gonna be Koopatized!"  - "The Great BMX Race" "There'll be other crooked races and other ways to cheat!" - "The Great BMX Race" "You're breaking my heart, princess! Now, get to work! Now that you and these Quirks are my slaves, I got other planets to plunder! *laughs*" - "Stars in Their Eyes" "You call that music? Stop that racket! I hate that music! I hate spaghetti! I hate Quirks! I hate those faucet freaks!" - "Stars in Their Eyes" "Alright! Which one of you messed up? Who ruined all my sneaky underhanded plans?" - "Jungle Fever" "Thank you, princess! You saved me all the trouble of hunting you down! You're so nice to me!" - "Jungle Fever" "The courage beyond compare, the bravery beyond description, I praise this great hero, the superior fiend... me. Koopa Khan the magnificent. If I didn't deserve this, I wouldn't give it to me." - "Brooklyn Bound" "Last one into the cave is a goodie-goodie!" - "Brooklyn Bound" "Goodbye, jerkos! And don't come back!" - "Brooklyn Bound" "Those annoying wrench-heads won’t ruin my evil plan! Prepare an ambush, Mouser! Make road pizzas out of them!" - "Toad Warriors" "These fireballs are fantastic! Think of the destruction; think of the wreckage; think of how much this'll lower my heating bill!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas" "Mouser! More marshmallows!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas" "Say ciao to your friends, Princess Toadstool. That's goodbye in Italian, because when you see 'em again, you'll be a tomato sauce sucking vampire, just like me! - "Count Koopula" "Fire a warning shot! ... On second thought, blow the plumber-boys and the Princess right off the boat!" - "Pirates of Koopa" "Listen up, you reptile retches! It's time to play 'Auction the Princess'! Do I hear one-thousand gold coins? Remember, the money goes to my favorite charity... Me." - "Pirates of Koopa "I'm rich! I'm filthy, stinkin', mouth-watering rich!" - "Pirates of Koopa" "Ga ga goo goo! Now you terrible tots will do all my chores, while I play!" - "Two Plumbers and a Baby" "Stop, or I'll tell on you!" - "Two Plumbers and a Baby" "I'll be back to get you! When I grow up!" - "Two Plumbers and a Baby" "Rotten reptiles! It's that pasta-eatin' plumber!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario" "You don't scare me, you linguini-lickin' losers!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario" "I'm gonna turn these two fat little plumbers into two flat little plumbers." - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?" "Keep your crown on! You want people to think I'm marrying a nag?" - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?" "Boogie with Koopa, you fungus brats! Boogie right into my double-dealing clutches! Gwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (playing flute)" - "The Pied Koopa" "Mouser, this is not a nursery school! This is an evil castle!" - "The Pied Koopa" "No one is that stupid!" - "Koopenstein" "Oh, goody-goody! The Tunnel of Doom! My favorite!" - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service" "When I get my mitts on you, you're gonna be creamed, Mushroom!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "I'm always ready for sneaky badness!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "I love being rotten!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "Just because I said it doesn't mean I meant it!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "You mean I can't destroy the island? I hate those Marios! They always spoil my fun!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "You were hoodwinked by Hooded Robin! I'm gonna pluck that bird nerd wing from wing!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men" "Kiss Koopa's feet and I'll gladly get rid of the sea monster for ya!" - "20,000 Koopas Under the Sea" "Let's ram 'em, slam 'em, and ruin their day!" - "20,000 Koopas Under the Sea" "Pesky persnickety plumbers! I wish they'd never been invented!" - "20,000 Koopas Under the Sea" "Mouser, if anything happens to the princess, I'll turn you into Swiss cheese!" - "Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold" "Too late! His gorgeous self is here!" - "Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold" "Run, you teensy tempura tasters! I'm gonna squash this city flatter than a tofu pancake!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "Scram, pests, or I'll call an exterminator!!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "'"Stand still so I can squash ya, you little vermin!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "Ba humkoop!" - "Koopa Klaus" "Plug your ears and watch your rears! We're goin' Bob-Omb bowlin'" - "The Unzappables" "Let's stash this cash and dash!" - "The Unzappables" "Gosh, this tyrant business is hard work! I'm too pooped to Koop! Think I'll take a Koopa catnap." - "The Ten Koopmandments" "Lousy lizards! This is enough to make a grown Koopa cry!" - "The Ten Koopmandments" "You call yourself an army, you miserable misfits? Why am I cursed with such incompetents?!" - "The Koopas Are Coming! The Koopas Are Coming!" "It's those dumber plumbers, the Mario Bros.!" - "The Trojan Koopa" "It's... it's... it's horrible! It's disgusting! It's me!" - "The Trojan Koopa" "And you're gonna spend the rest of your life digging for it! Hahahahaha!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "More! I want more! More!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "Make way for the big daddio, the headman, the new king of Sock Hop Land: Koopa, the Kool!" "Elvin Lives" "Come back here! We got a date for the prom!" "Elvin Lives" "No way, José! They'll never catch the Koopilac! I got dual carbs! I got four on the floor!" "Elvin Lives" "When you hurt Koopa's nose, you've blown it!" - "Plummers Academy" "In just a few minutes, the bidding for Princess Toadstool and her slimy friend Toad will begin! So drink up your Koopa Kola!" - "Karate Koopa" "Welcome aboard Air Albatoss. This is your Koopa speaking. This flight is non-stop 'til ya drop!" - "Mario of the Apes" "We're gonna celebrate the capture of those faucet freaks by letting me win a baseball game." - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers" "Now is plumber squashing time!" - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers" "OW! I hate plumbers! OW! I hate... OW! Why can't they pick on... OW! Someone their own size?" - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers" "It makes me feel so warm, to be so cold!" - "Little Red Riding Princess" "I want that ranger in danger! Now!" - "The Provolone Ranger" "Koopa Court is now in session! Bailiff Mouser, read those phony charges you and I cooked up!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "Congratulations! You've won a five-hundred year all-expense paid trip to Club Koopatraz!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "It was so much fun being your crooked judge, I decided to become your cruel warden!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "This better be a bad dream, plumber, 'cause if it's not, you're in deep fettuccine!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "What the Koop are you talkin' about?" "Mario of the Deep" "You mean this is all?! There ain't enough gold here to bother Kooping about!" - "Mario of the Deep" "You Mario Bros. ruined my evil schemes, so I'm gonna ruin the burg that you love best!" - "Flatbush Koopa" "Hold your applause! I know it's a genius idea, but I have them all the time!" - "Flatbush Koopa" "Fan-kooping-tastic, it worked!" - "Raiders of the Lost Mushroom" "I love Down Under Land! It's where Mario Bros. went down- and under!" - "Crocodile Mario" "Go to Warp 10, Mouser!" "Star Koopa" "If you want something wrong done right, you gotta wrong-do it yourself!" - "Star Koopa" "I am the mighty Robo Koopa! Half Koopa, half machine. Built for destruction! And I'm gonna destroy you miserable little meddlers! (fiddles on his control panel) Drat! Where is that 'destroy-you-miserable-little-meddlers' button!" - "Robo Koopa" "The fun's not over yet! I've got Super-vision; Super-hearing; Super-strength; And yes, even... Super-toes!" - "Robo Koopa". "If it isn't... Robo-Rooter!" - "Robo Koopa".Toad"Hey! Let me go!" -'"The Bird! The Bird!" "I'm warning you, I get airsick. Heeeelp!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "What're ya trying' to do, ya wacko bird, drown me?" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Mommy? You're not my mommy!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "I can't be your little Cheepy, lady! I don't have wings! Look! No wings, no feathers. I'm just a mushroom that can't stand heights!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Flyin' lessons!? Are you outta your mind!?" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "The least that featherbrain could've done was lend me a parachute. Hey! That's it! A parachute!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Hey! It's me! I mean, him! It's little Cheepy! The Birdo's real lost baby!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Oh no! I'm not going back up there! Never!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "When I get my hands on that King Koopa, I'll fix his wagon!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "I'm no frog. I can't even swim." - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Bombs awaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "What did you tell him?" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "Who did you expect? Pee-wee Herman?" - "Rolling Down the River" "Looks like you guys saved the day again! Almost." - "Rolling Down the River" "By the power of the shining star, I am the...Toad Warrior!"-Toad Warriors "Hey, man, I’m the Fantastic Fungus! The supercharged Mushroom of Might! I’m the Toad Warrior!" - "Toad Warriors" "Give me five. NO! Give me five bomb plants!" - "Toad Warriors" "Whoever slows down first, loses!" - "Toad Warriors" "Whoa! No more Toad Warrior!" (After turning back to normal) - "Toad Warriors" "Y'all made it!" - "Toad Warriors" "You blew that one, Koopa Stoopa!" - "Pirates of Koopa" "Some Mushroom Retainer I turned out to be... I was so close! I couldn't save her..." - "The Trojan Koopa" "Naughty turtle, you've been hittin' the sauce again, well, have some more!" - "Count Koopula" "Let's make like eggs and SCRAMBLE!!!" - "Mario of the Deep" "So much for hope." - "Stars in Their Eyes" "Don't do it, Princess! Don't marry Koopa! I'd rather be a rock!" - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?" "Koopa you stoopa! Watch it with the Bob-Ombs!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "By order of his most royal repulsiveness, the reptile Sheriff of Koopingham! The castle road shall require a toll! In the amount of: One wagon full of gold coins!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men"Princess Toadstool" “Milled uranium ore—U3O8 or "yellowcake"—is dissolved in nitric acid, yielding a solution of uranyl nitrate UO2(NO3)2. Pure uranyl nitrate is obtained by solvent extraction, then treated with ammonia to produce ammonium diuranate ("ADU", (NH4)2U2O7). Reduction with hydrogen gives UO2, which is converted with hydrofluoric acid (HF) to uranium tetrafluoride, UF4. Oxidation with fluorine yields UF6." - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Look! The Birdo took Toad to the highest peak! Please, Mario! Toad saved my life a hundred times! We've got to save his!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "(*Teary eyed*) Goodbye Mario, goodbye Luigi." (About to watch Mario and Luigi leave) - "Brooklyn Bound" "Mario! {Kisses him} Luigi! {Kisses him} You came back!" (After being rescued from Koopa and realizing that the brothers went back for her and Toad) - "Brooklyn Bound" "Oh, dear. I think he wants Toad for an appetizer." - "Crocodile Mario" "(*sobs*) I always cry at weddings!" - "Mario and Joliet" "What was that about pancakes and maple syrup?" - "Quest for Pizza"

SEASICK GLADIATOR 'The Hanged Man' Album Review & Stream

SEASICK GLADIATOR ‘The Hanged Man’ Album Review & Stream

Article By: Pat ‘Riot’ Whitaker, Senior Writer/Journalist ‡ Edited By: Leanne Ridgeway, Owner/Editor

Look, let’s not beat around the bush; fine, I’ll say it: If you are going to be an instrumental band, especially in this day and age, you damn sure better have something special going on. (more…)

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MEIRA  HEADCANONS

she absolutely has a type and that type is greek girls with pot bellies and light brown hair

she will also go for female gladiators. the beefier the better

meira cannot live without 

she keeps a pouch of seeds on her person at all times in case her farm burns down and she has nothing

big fan of the public baths.  she prefers the cold pools and also wastes all her money on hookers

she has her own map of hispania !  it’s semi - accurate,  and took her one hundred years to make !  she has three copies,  and one of them is hung up in her salon

thinks philosophy is the biggest waste of time since city - states

she gets seasick,  but she loves travelling by sea.  11/10 big fan of the salty seas

trajan is her favourite of the spanish emperors.  hadrian is her second favourite,  and she thinks marcus aurelius is a fucking jokes

she was pro pompey when it was him against caesar,  but pro caesar when it was antony against brutus,  and pro antony when it was antony against augustus.  she also let augustus know this

meira doesn’t care for the amorality of blood sport,  but she likes gladiatorial games well enough

the only philosophy she can really understand and identify with is catonian stoicism,  and that’s only because that’s how she has stayed sane and docile after all these centuries.

With Debbie watching Seasick Gladiator and Pimmit Hills at Dangerous Pies in DC on H st. NE https://www.instagram.com/p/B8VJ9Ewpn-C/?igshid=1ctd12ja4bw8z

Week at the Crown : April 9th to 14th

~

Tuesday 4/9:

Crown Karaoke Party! FREE at 9 PM

~

Wednesday 4/10:

HOOD RATS / Starcarr / Fear of God | 7 PM | $10

~

Thursday 4/11:

MEGAGONEFREE / Shelby Morgan [ Moved from Metro! ] 7PM | ALL AGES | $20 adv

+

It Wants / Cat Sensei / Ploy Machine / Motel Portrait | 6:30 PM | $5

Friday 4/12

SLOT / Pluot / Turd Merlin | A FREE SHOW! All Ages | no jerks | FREE @ 8 PM

+

They/Them Ty's Birthday Celebration & Comedy Show! ft. Kenny Rooster / Tae Madden / Hannah Alden Jeffrey / Howl Cooper / Michael Furr | Your Host, Regina Gina G | special guests: Floozy Carmichael & Dickolas Cage | 8 PM | $10

+

EARLY FREE SHOW : Hideo: A Shakuhachi Performance | 5:30 PM | at the Back Bar

~

Saturday 4/13:

Selfish Act / The Dead Ringers / Fleabath / Sin Lung | 7PM | $10 adv ~ $12 atd

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Sunday 4/14:

FLUMMOX / Spiral Grave / Seasick Gladiator / U&Me&Me&U | 7PM | $13 adv ~ $15 atd

+

DRAMEDY! Drag & Comedy & Burlesque Open Mic Night! FREE @ 8 [Bring Cash for TIPS!] | hosted by Kenny Rooster! Want to perform? Sign ups at @kennyroostercomedy

.

#baltimore #baltimorenightlife #baltimoremusic #baltimoreevents

THE DOOMED & STONED SHOW

~Season 5, Episode 23~

Part two of our Maryland Doom Fest V preview, as we continue to talk with festival organizer J.B. Matson about the event, which rolls out Thursday, June 20th and wraps up Sunday, June 23rd. We've got the perfect blend of doom metal and stoner rock on deck for you, too, featuring Pentagram, Conan, Apostle of Solitude, Toke, Beelzefuzz, ZED, and much more!

PLAYLIST:

INTRO (00:00) 1. Pentagram - "Lazylady" (00:25)

HOST SEGMENT I (04:13) 2. Greenbeard - "Swing" (08:01) 3. Eternal Black - "Sum of All Fears" (12:31) 4. Forming The Void - "Arcane Mystic" (17:25) 5. Sixes - "Fogbreather" (22:15) 6. Atala - "Upon the Altar" (27:38) 7. Beelzefuzz - "Nazriff" (33:27) 8. Foghound - "Known Wolves" (37:05) 9. Apostle of Solitude - "Keeping The Lighthouse" (41:04) 10. Pentagram - "Death Row" (47:27)

HOST SEGMENT II (51:42) 11. Crooked Hills - "no Hope Kids" (53:11) 12. Seasick Gladiator - "The Seasick Gladiator Part III" (56:39) 13. Thunderchief - "Stone House" (1:02:49) 14. Pale Grey Lore - "The Conjuration" (1:07:18) 15. Electric Age - "Cold Witch" (1:11:21)

HOST SEGMENT III (1:16:26) 16. Witchkiss - "Spirits of the Dirit" (1:20:00) 17. Shadow Witch - "Dead Heroes" (1:28:44) 18. Faith In Jane - "Doomed Phoenix" (1:33:14) 19. Horehound - "The Sloth" (1:42:07)

HOST SEGMENT IV (1:48:52) 20. Thousand Vision Mist - "Window Through Time" (1:51:42) 21. Toke - "Blackened" (1:57:11) 22. Kings Destroy - "The Nightbird" (2:00:53) 23. ZED - "Skin + Bones" (2:05:24) 24. CONAN - "Vexxagon" (2:10:46)

HOST SEGMENT V (2:17:30) 25> Stone Dust Riders - "Steve The Dolphin" (2:20:36) 26. Wolf Blood - "Opium" (2:24:12) 27. Temptation's Wings - "To Forge a Legend (Ulfberht)" (2:26:43)

OUTRO (2:34:30)

☠

Get to the festival: www.MarylandDoomFest.com.

Support The Doomed & Stoned Show by becoming a 'High on Fiver' supporter. Patrons get a 2+ hour exclusive episode focused on new music and rarities, plus access to all past rewards.

SEASICK GLADIATOR - The Hanged Man (full Album 2020) https://t.co/MXRXHZHDPG : [Via HeavyRockFreak]

— TheHeavy (@TheHeavyBot) May 2, 2020

Kaptain Carbon at Metal Bandcamp put together an in-depth preview for SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST including highlights for each band and some great words around the festival! Grab the digs on what to expect at Metal Bandcamp, now!

Metal Bandcamp:

http://metalbandcamp.com/2017/08/shadow-woods-metal-fest-2017-preview.html

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SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST

SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST, the Mid-Atlantic’s only open-air camping heavy metal gathering, is pleased to announce the complete lineup for the 2017 festival, which runs from Thursday, September 14th through Sunday, September 17th at White Hall, Maryland’s Camp Hidden Valley. For the third year, the festival will host 39 of the undergrounds leading bands, representing all genres and subgenres of heavy metal.

Over three days, the four stages of SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST will come to life inside the woodsy landscape of Camp Hidden Valley.  “Every year has been special, but I am just particularly stoked about what we have curated”, says Mary Spiro, organizer of Shadow Woods Productions LLC.  “I am extremely honored to present the lineup this year because I think it reflects the best of the underground metal scene as well as some of the personal favorites of the festival organizers. Several of these bands, I have been trying to host at the fest since the first year and I am happy to finally have them play.”

Beginning on Thursday night, the Pavilion stage will light up and set the tone to the weekend with all-acoustic and intimate performances with Portland’s dark-folk soloist AERIAL RUIN and West Virginia’s Appalachian folk duo, NECHOCHWEN.  As the moon illuminates the sky on Friday,  San Francisco occultists CASTLE will conjure heavy doomed thrash at the Woodland Stage and Boston’s HUMAN BODIES will deliver raw, blackened punk on the Field Stage.  On Saturday, as darkness falls over the Woodland Stage, atmospheric blackened folk giants PANTOPICON will play an exclusive, 70-minute set under the backdrop of the stars. Georgia’s tortured blackened death quintet WITHERED, Brooklyn black metal titans WOE, Rhode Island sludgy-doom foursome CHURCHBURN, mysterious blackened grind band DEAD IN THE MANGER, and San Francisco extreme death quintet VASTUM (one of two east coast shows), will all deliver exclusive performances to SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST.

SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST 2017 merchandise features stunning new artwork by Dylan Garret Smith and Brian Sheehan/Legerdemain.  The beautifully hand-drawn design entitled “Laud In The Garden” by Dylan Garrett Smith, is featured as this year’s Shadow Woods Metal Fest official limited edition poster (only 50 will be printed). The alluring design will also be available on t-shirt and hooded sweatshirt. The official line-up t-shirt by Brian Sheehan/Legerdemain features a brand-new ravishing design commemorating the festival. Official merchandise is available for pre-order now (pre-order is available until September 3). PRE-ORDER: http://www.shadowwoodsmetalfest.com

Marketplace vendors will include record labels Season of Mist, Grimoire Records, and festival sponsor Tridroid Records. Artists and craft vendors FTG Illustrations, Evan Void, festival merchandise artist Dylan Garrett Smith, KPG Paintings, Jessi Hardesty, Horrid CRVX and Necronomicharm will all be on site selling prints, paintings, jewelry, woodcuts, and so much more.

Throughout the festival, delectable food and beverages will be provided by the ever popular coffee wizards Zeke’s Coffee, pit beef and other scrumptious dishes from Pond View Farms, and vegan/vegetarian steaks, sandwiches, salads and more from Self Love.

SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST is proud to be sponsored this year by Moxie Bookkeeping and Tridroid Records and to receive promotional support from Grime Studios, Leftover Pizza Productions, and Perfect World Productions.

SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST 2017

Complete Lineup (in alpha order):

Aerial Ruin – Portland, OR (Ritual folk)

All Hell – Asheville, NC (Crusty black metal)

Bearstorm – Richmond, VA (Blackened southern death-prog)

Black Table – NY/NJ (Progressive black metal)

Castle – San Francisco, CA  (Heavy doom metal)

Churchburn – Pawtucket, RI  (Blackened sludge) **

Cut the Architect’s Hand  – Richmond, VA (Death metal)

Dark Water Transit – Baltimore, MD (Instrumental heavy rock)

Dead in the Manger – coast to coast – (Blackened grind) **

Dee Calhoun – Frederick, MD (Acoustic; vocalist of Iron Man)

Earthling – Richmond, VA (Thrash metal)

Elagabalus – Baltimore, MD (Experimental metal 2-piece)

Erlkonig – Baltimore, MD  (Blackened death metal)

Fiakra – Freehold, NJ (LARPower metal)

Foehammer – Annandale, VA (Sludge)

Green Elder/Paul Ravenwood – Johnson City, TN – (Nature folk)

Heavy Temple  – Philadelphia, PA (Psychedelic-doomed rock)

Hexis  – Copenhagen, Denmark (Hardcore/black metal)

Human Bodies – Boston, MA  (Crusty blackened hardcore)

Immaculate Deception – Baltimore, MD (Death metal)

Infera Bruo – Boston, MA (Black metal)

Kyoty – Dover, NH – (Instrumental post metal)

Mome  – Portland, ME (Power psych rock)

Nechochwen “unplugged” – Wheeling, WV (Appalachian acoustic folk metal) **

Night Raids – Philadelphia, PA (Thrash/grind) Obsidian Tongue – Medford, MA (Black Metal) Panopticon –  KY/MN (Black folk metal) **

Percussor – PA/DE (Old school death metal)

Seasick Gladiator – Washington, DC (Experimental doom prog)

Sloth Herder – PA/VA/MD (Sludge grind)

Take to the Woods/Jo Cosgrove – Baltimore, MD (Dark folk)

The Owls Are Not What They Seem – York, PA (Ritual noise)

Toke – Cape Fear, NC (Stoner doom)

Vastum – San Francisco, CA  (Death metal) ** Voarm – Richmond, VA (Doomed Black metal)

Withered -Atlanta, GA (Black/death metal) **

Woe – Brooklyn, NY (Black metal) **

Worthless- NY/NJ (Black metal) **

ZUD – Portland, ME (Black and blues metal)

** EXCLUSIVE PERFORMANCES

SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST DETAILS

Location:

Camp Hidden Valley, White Hall, Maryland

Ticket Link: http://shadowwoodsmetalfest2017.bpt.me

Price:

Weekend Package:

$175 Full weekend package (Thursday evening-Sunday morning) including all musical events and camping

Single Day Tickets (advanced ticket pricing):

$50 Thursday Only

$80 Friday Only

$80 Saturday Only

Cabins: $20 bed (shared cabin)

Food & beverage vendors: Various food vendors will be on site with both vegan, vegetarian, and omnivore selections.

Merchandise Vendors: Multiple record labels, distros, and artisans will be located in the Hall. For more information on becoming a vendor, contact [email protected]

Shadow Woods Metal Fest Preview at Metal Bandcamp! Kaptain Carbon at Metal Bandcamp put together an in-depth preview for SHADOW WOODS METAL FEST including highlights for each band and some great words around the festival!