#SVUxbluebloods
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Imagine finding out you’re pregnant with Peter’s baby
Imagine finding out you’re pregnant with Peter’s baby
Dr Becca Langley watched curiously as her next client walked into the room after her assistant called for him. He greeted her with a quick nod before taking a seat heavily across from her. Almost immediately sinking into back into his seat, as if he wanted it to swallow him whole, which only made her perk up and lean forward, as she continued to observe him.
She flipped to a fresh page in her notebook before smiling at him.
“Good Morning Peter,” She said greeting the somewhat distracted ADA.
“Dr Langley,” He nodded, still insistent on referring to her as that despite knowing her for over a year now.
“You know it’s Becca,” She brushed off as he remembered to switch off his phone.
“So Peter, what’s been happening since the last time I saw you?”
From there they continued to engage in conversation as per usual. Like every other week, it started with them discussing his work week. A fact that had originally annoyed Peter as he thought it useless at the start especially as he couldn't give her details, which she knew quite well, as he wasn't seeing a psychiatrist to talk about work, let alone paying her to do so. But as time progressed he appreciated the build-up talking about work provided as it made transitioning the conversation into the topics that weren't easy to discuss easier. Another thing that made it easy was the fact that much to his surprise Doctor Langley often contributed to the conversation with her own experiences and antidotes about her husband and young daughter. Which made it much more comfortable for Peter as he felt like it was a conversation instead of just him speaking.
The whole idea of seeing a psychiatrist after everything that had happened wasn't his. It was yours before you were dating you suggested that he talk to someone about everything that had happened. He knew things weren’t right after Pam died and you telling him that he was self-destructing was the push he needed to get the help he needed. And it had been helping, he was apprehensive at first as he had never been so open with his feelings but as time went on it became easier for him especially within the safe confines of Dr Langley’s office. In fact, it the Doctor that encouraged Peter to be upfront about his feeling for you as apparently it was obvious that ‘he cared very deeply for Y/N’ which was true but he disputed that it was easy to tell that he did.
Now that you were together and one of the most important parts of his life, you naturally came up in conversation a lot. And Peter did discuss your relationship in sessions from time to time. It was new territory, the whole relationship thing, for the both of you so he did appreciate the guidance. In spite of that though and all the positive progress that he made with his inner demons and emotional intelligence, he was still set in ways. And when things were bothering him and even if he did want to discuss them, he would never bring them up himself. He always waited for her to ask or for the perfect segway to appear. So Dr Langley had become an expert at knowing when Peter wanted to talk about something but needed her to ask him about it.
“Peter is something bothering you?” Dr Langley inquired, putting down her pen and looking directly at him.
“No…why do you asked,” He brushed off, a little too quickly.
“You seem a little off,” She phrased carefully, as Peter tapped his foot impatiently and ran a hand through his hair.
He sighed, “Well…”
“Well?” She encouraged.
“I was going to skip out on our session today,” He admitted.
“Oh, and why’s that?” She asked.
“I wasn't in the mood for talking about my feelings after the past few days I had and especially this morning,” He offered, “But I thought it would be rude to cancel so late so here I am,”
“What happened this morning?”
Peter averted his gaze and played with his hands. It was always hard for him to talk about you and your relationship. He had even asked you if he could discuss your relationship in these sessions, which you, of course, agreed too, you just wanted him to have support after everything and you knew you couldn't do that all that yourself. But he still found it difficult to share the most important part of his life, perhaps because he knew exactly what it was like to use it, but he would never risk losing you.
You and Peter were just a couple weeks shy of your first anniversary though you had known each other for over two years at this point, but there is a difference between being in an actual relationship and being colleges, friends and even something more. You’d moved into his apartment around two months ago and things had been going really well.
For Peter your relationship was difficult to describe, it was intense and very serious, in the way that you had both been through a lot and you both weren't used to serious commitment but you were doing it for each other because your feelings for each other were that serious. But in another way, it was very silly and fun because you both had such serious jobs that in order to survive you needed something light to balance it all out and keep you from going insane. And that was your relationship, not everything was always so serious in spite of the intensity of your connection. And this isn't even mentioning the fact that neither of you could keep their hands off the other. Peter couldn't explain it but when you both were together he feels like his true self and everything else feels right. And the past eleven months hadn't been easy, you had so much thrown at you but you made it through and that was all that mattered. You were still committed to each other and committed to being with each other and being in love because fundamentally you both worked so well. But that didn't mean it was always easy being with each other.
“Y/N and I got into a fight,” He confessed, “Well actually we continued a fight from the night before,”
“All couples fight Peter,” She began.
“I know but it wasn't a normal couple fight…like it wasn't the sort of fight we usually have…it was different,” He fumbled, uncharacteristically unable to look her in the eye.
“What are you saying?” She questioned seeking clarification from him.
“I messed up… really badly,”
“Y/N! Y/N!” Sonny shouted loudly into the thrashing dark blue water while simultaneously watching over the two young children you had already pulled from the water.
You had dived back under for the second time for the oldest of three children and you had been under for too long. You weren't even supposed to be down there but it was an emergency and as soon as you saw the car go into the river, you raced out your car and dived in without a second thought. You quickly caught up with the sinking car and recovering the two girls trapped in the backseat of the sinking car. Bringing up to the surface as quickly as your body allowed and practically throwing them at Sonny before diving back down in an attempt to save the struggling twelve-year-old, the oldest of three children, almost killed by their unstable mother. She was also in the car but you were too focused on getting her children to safety to even pay her a second thought.
Your lungs burned and your limbs throbbed as you pulled the now unconscious twelve-year-old boy the waist, holding your breath as you raced up to the surface. It was you against time and you needed to beat it as he started to slip away in his arms. You muster up all your strength to pull him ahead of you so that he broke the surface before you did. As soon as his head bobbed above water he was pulled out of your arms and to safety. You allowed yourself one breath and in those few seconds, you saw Sonny and a few uniforms take care of the children and heard the sounds of more backup and ambulances approaching. Help was coming but it wouldn't be here quick enough. And despite your feelings for a murder who had almost killed her children, you went back under, ignoring the warnings of those at the shore.
The water was dark as you dove to catch up with the sinking vehicle for the third time, plunging deeper and deeper, to the point everything was blurry and your whole body was screaming at you. You couldn't even think to evaluate what you were doing. Regardless of who she was and what she had just done, driving her and her children into the Hudson River, you weren't ready to let her sink, to get away with it without even trying to save her.
By the time you reached her, she was unconscious and dangerously still but that didn't stop you from grabbing hold of her body after untangling her and taking her back to the surface. And despite being in the vast body of water that made up the Hudson River. You felt enclosed and the pressure around your body intensified to the point that ever kicks your worn out legs out made was a fight for survival. Your now beginning to fail due to the prolonged lack of oxygen.
But you made it.
Once again the limp body was pulled away from you but now she was attended to by the paramedics. As you were pulled from the river yourself you saw ambulances with the three children start speeding to the hospital. You saw CPR start to begin on their attempted murderer. Back on solid ground, you stood up shakily and evaluated the scene.
“You idiot,” Sonny exclaimed before grabbing hold of his partner and hugging you tightly, ignoring that you were completely soaked, “What the hell were you thinking?”
“Just me doing my job,” You joked, coughing on the water that still occupied your lungs.
“We need to get you to the hospital,” He insisted, pulling you towards an ambulance while simultaneously keeping you steady.
“I’m fine,” You stated adamantly, shaking him and some excess water off.
“Y/N…” He began but he didn't get to finish.
Because as soon as you straightened up, your body betrayed you. You had to spin around fast to avoid violently throwing up anywhere in anybody's actual direction. You hunched over the edge of the water and spewed. You don’t remember how long it all was but you felt light-headed already but it was much worse when you turned back around to face a horrified Sonny and paramedics gearing up whisk you away. Your words of protest barely made it out of your mouth as everything seemed to blur, suddenly knocked off balance. The intense pain had gone as you settled into unconsciousness, replaced with the feeling of cold stone pressed against your cheek.
“What do you mean by that?” Doctor Langley inquired, her curiosity peaked
“I mean what I said…I messed up,” Peter responded, glancing away.
“Peter,” She scolded.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before looking in her direction, though purposely not at her.
“You know how I mentioned that sometimes I don't feel like I’m not good enough for Y/N?” He countered, his words reluctant but said all the same.
She nodded, “And we talked about it and I believe we reached an agreement on how these feelings don’t reflect the actual reality of the situation,”
“Yes,” He agreed, Peter was a master of words and yet when it came to matters of this nature words seemed to fail him, “But I can’t shake it you know? I know that you’re right. I know she loves me, she says it every day even when I forget. She loves me as I am right now and not who I might be or even who everyone thinks I am. And I still convinced myself that she deserves better as if I’m the judge of that. I convinced myself that even though I’m happy, so so happy with my life right now that she deserved better and I needed to give her that. But all I did was mess up one of the only good things in my life. My whole life actually because she is my world and I screwed it up. We both know that I’m the emotional one in this relationship, strangely enough, but yesterday it was like she snapped. I pushed her too far and I think I might have lost her,”
“Peter, do you think this might have to do with the anniversary of Pam’s death a few weeks ago?” She suggested after a brief silence.
“Why would you say that?” He demanded, shaking his head, “That has nothing to do with it,”
“Doesn’t it?” She asked, her tone careful but direct, “After she died you struggled with feelings of not being good enough and consequently punished yourself because you convinced yourself that you weren't good enough to save her. What happened to her is what brought you and Y/N closer because she could relate to what you were going through. She helped you get better. And I don’t think you got better because you wanted to be better for her, you got better for yourself because she made you want to be better. I think that you projected those feelings that resurfaced on the anniversary of your relationship as a way to deal with those feelings. Does that sound about right?”
“I…” He struggled.
“How about we talk through what happened?”
“Well, it started a couple weeks ago when…the anniversary came around,” He admitted, his words hesitant as he realised that she was right at the moment.
She nodded, encouraging him to go on.
“We’d just moved in together a month ago and everything was going great…fantastic even. We were happy and everything was going so well. And then I ran into into some old friends and it sounds so stupid now that I’m saying it. But they told me that I looked happy and that scared me,” He continued, bowing his head.
“Why did that scare you?”
“Because it’s the truth, I am happy,” He persisted, “But I used to convince myself that maybe I’m happy but what if she isn’t. What if she isn't as happy as I am? I love her so much and I used that and the fact that my last trial was a high stake two-week ordeal to distance myself from her. Because I let myself think that it was a good idea. In case I wasn't making her happy she could have that space to figure it out. So I spent all day at work, left before she did, came home after she went to sleep. Was working on weekends because I told myself I had to be sure. But now I know I did it because I was scared about how i felt and I know that I’m the only person to blame for how I feel right now,”
“And how’s that?”
“Devasted,”
“Why?”
“Because I made her unhappy too,”
“I was happy…and I thought…you were too…” You replied, looking at him from across the room, keeping a distance between the two of you.
It was late, he’d come back late. You thought since the trial had finally wrapped up and he’d won, he’d come back home to see you, especially after what felt like weeks of properly seeing each other. You waited up but he had gone out with colleagues instead of coming home to you. And it broke you, like you had been holding it together and you finally snapped. You were exhausted and sick and now you were heartbroken. It felt like those creeping thoughts you had over the past few weeks were coming true.
“I am happy,” He insisted, taking a step towards you.
“Then why are you doing everything you can not to see me?” You demanded, taking a step back in response and putting up your hand to stop him get any closer.
“That isn't true…” He began.
“Don’t try and pull that with me,” You interrupted fiercely, your hand clenching into a fist but tears were streaming down your face.
“Y/N…” He whispered, his voice tender, familiar, concerned, seeing you cry, out of the two of you Peter uncharacteristically was the more emotional one when it came to things like this so seeing you cry was enough for him to stop trying.
“What?” You shouted, frustrated.
“I’m sorry,”
“Now, you’re sorry?” You laughed, tragically, turning away so to wipe your tears.
“I was terrified, okay?” He gave in.
“About what?”
“Us,”
“What about us?”
“I love you so much, Y/N,” Peter breathed, close to you know, as you had allowed him to approach, he was an arm's length away, “I’ve never felt like this about anyone and I don’t think I ever will. And it’s terrifying because I know I can’t live without out you. I know that now. You are the only thing that matters and I was scared that even though you make me happy that I might not make you feel the same. Because I can’t do any better than you but you could way better than me. And I would be willing to give you up if it meant you were happy. I would let myself lose the only person I had left it made you happy.”
“No,” You stated, fiercely.
“What…?” He stuttered.
“You don’t get to decide what makes me happy. I do,” You argued, “I wake up every day and unapologetically choose you, not because I have to and not for you either. But for me, because you make me happy. And you would know that if you had just talked to me. Instead of making me feel like this to make yourself feel better.”
“I wanted to talk to you,” He insisted.
“Then why didn't you?” You interrogated, “Do you know how it feels to have the person you love the most suddenly act like they don't care about you for no reason at all? I’ve been asking myself what I did wrong, absolutely sick with worry that I feel nauseous, it was exhausting.”
“I’m sorry,”
“I just missed you so much,” You cried, letting it all out.
“I’m…”
“I don’t know if I can do this,”
“What?” He stammered.
“I don’t think I can be someone who can’t talk to me about when they feel insecure about our relationship,” You said steadily, though you were shaking and had backed yourself up against the wall, “ Someone who can’t communicate with me and instead plays games with me. Makes me feel like this. Because I know if you had just talked to me. I would have told you that for me, I know there is no one else that I want to be with because I love you so much. But I can’t go through this again.”
“Y/N,” He called after you after you slipped down the corridor toward the guest room.
“I need to be alone,” You responded before slamming the door in his face and breaking down against it as soon as you did.
“Detective Reagan?” The nurse, Clarke, asked, the sound of her concerned voice bringing you back to reality and with it the nosiness of the hustle and bustle of the hospital ward all of which you had drowned out when you were plunged into your own thoughts, her eyes were soft and sympathetic as she watched you lie their, stunned, “Y/N!”
You felt her hand pulling yours over the metal railing, you had been gripping it tightly and your hand had gone bright red in response, well at least it wasn't blue anymore. As soon as you noticed you let her pull you away and flexed it carefully.
“Is there anyone I can call to be with you?” She inquired, her voice soothing.
Words seemed to escape you and all that came out of your mouth was a cross between a croak and gulp, so you just shook your head.
“Are you sure? Your father is listed as your emergency contact. Maybe if we call…” She began to suggest.
“No,” You interrupted abruptly, before softening your voice, “No, I’ll…I will be fine…Right?”
“I know this is a lot to take in, especially right now in your condition…” She offered, comfortingly.
“I can’t be…” You sputtered, “I don’t know how…”
“Right now, I’m going to need you to relax,” She insisted, seeing you starting to work yourself up into a frenzy.
You nodded again and settled back in the bed, utterly consumed in your mind and your whirlwind of thoughts but your eyes were staring blankly ahead. The world around you seemingly going on without you while you seemed to be time locked, stuck in the moment, this life-changing moment. Perhaps the hectic environment of the hospital was exemplifying your feelings but you were overwhelmed with the feeling of unreadiness. You didn't feel ready at all. You didn't feel sure. Everything that had once felt so certain in your life, stable, seemed to be teetering on the edge all of a sudden. Nothing was certain, not your job, not your family and friends, not your relationship and not your life. No, in a second everything had changed.
And you couldn't tell if it was for the best or not.
In the moment? Panic was rising in your chest and your mind was spinning. It certainly didn't feel like it was for the best.
“For what it’s worth, and it may not be much since we just met,” The nurse began, taking a seat beside you and clasping your hand as the heart monitor beeped steadily beside the two of you, “I think you’re going to be great at it,”
“Why’s that?” You asked, playing along, giving her a small smile as she squeezed your hand, comfortingly.
“Well, you’re here because you just dived into Hudson River to save a bunch of kidnapped children after they were driven into it by their own mother,” She reiterated, “that seems very brave and selfless to me. And you’ll need a lot of that, that’s what being a mom is all about.”
“I was just doing my job,” You countered, reluctant to agree, “Serve and protect, remember?”
“But it’s the degree in which you decide to do it, is whats admirable,” She insisted, “ It’s above and beyond anything I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen a lot. It’s definitely more than any organisation can officially ask of you. So yes, I think you’re going to be great. Fantastic even,”
“You don’t know me,” You commented, letting out a sad laugh, “If you did you would know that I’m too much of screw to be someone’s parent. I don’t know if I can live with screwing up someone else’s life,”
“Oh sweetie,” She sighed, before leaning over and hugging you tightly while rubbing your back.
You were surprised at first but you soon let it happen, clutching the stranger tightly and beginning to cry into her shoulder. You don’t know how long you stayed like that but she made no attempt to let go, holding you as long as you needed. Eventually, though you let her go still sniffling but wiping away the last of your tears.
“Sorry,” You whispered, noticing the patch you had left on her shoulder.
“Oh, don’t you worry about it,” She brushed off, “I’ve had much worse on me,”
“I bet,” You giggled.
“Ah well look at that smile,” She pointed out, “Let’s hope your little one has it,”
You clenched your jaw at the mention. You couldn't let yourself forget what she started this conversation with. You hadn’t expected it at all, you’d had an insane few days and an even crazier morning, in more ways than one. You had expected her to tell you that you were being discharged, you were only here as a precaution anyway, not that you were actually four weeks pregnant and that was the reason you were feeling this way and why you were so ill.
“How are you feeling now, Y/N?” She inquired, after going over your charts.
“Better,” You admitted, “Physically at least,”
“Well that’s good but the doctor did say she wants to keep you on fluids for a bit and see how it goes. Extra precautions given the circumstances, you understand.” She explained clearly.
“Yeah,”
“And emotionally how are you feeling?” She probed.
“I’m absolutely petrified,”
Had you ruined everything already, without even trying, without even knowing? If you had known you would have done everything differently this morning and last night. Now that you knew it alms explained what happened but how could you let yourself do that. Well, you didn't know. You had absolutely no idea, you had felt the same besides the extreme fatigue and being way more emotional than normal. Perhaps you should have noticed but it wasn't even something that you even considered. It just never occurred to you.
And you were pretty sure that you hadn't ever discussed children. Neither of you weren’t the type of people who sat down and discussed the future and what you wanted. You were enjoying being with each other now and even though you wanted a future with him, you hadn't thought about what that would entail.
Though recently that had been far from your mind and when you did think about the future. You were questioning it. After what happened last night, your relationship was on the edge and now you were a month pregnant.
You had been so distracted that you had brushed off all the signs. Exhaustion, that was normal even if it was a little worse. Headaches and nausea everything that was going on with Peter. The cramps? All the snacks that Sonny had been feeding you. It was easy to explain away and you knew that with everything was going on you probably wouldn't have realised if you hadn't been sent to the hospital after collapsing. You could have also done without the hypothermia. Clare, the Nurse, comforted you once again before promising to come back and check on you.
You didn’t know when you were going home as they had made it clear that they wanted to be careful.
You were buried under blankets and hooked up to IV in hoping to get warmed up. You squeezed your eyes shut in hopes of sleeping but your mind was racing. The reality was hitting you and you weren’t prepared. You were alone.
Peter could feel his phone buzzing in his pocket for the umpteenth time when he finally walked out of Dr Langley’s office. He had felt it throughout it session but obviously ignored it because he was supposed to turn it off but he could never bring himself too just in case there was an emergency. It was buzzing continuously so he stopped in the middle of the waiting room. There were calls from various different people. He opted for Sonny as he had called the most. Putting the phone to his ear he glanced around the room as it rang. His eyes falling to the TV playing in the corner. And what it was playing made him lower the phone paralysed.
“It is believed that the mother drove the car into the water early this morning after a court declared her unfit and gave full custody of her three children to their Father,” The screen blared, “…she was declared dead at the scene while her three children were saved by two NYPD detectives and are believed to be in stable condition at Mercy General. One of the Detectives, Detective Y/N Reagan of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit was also hospitalised after saving the children from the water, her condition is currently unknown…”
“You look awful,” Danny commented, peering down at you, after suddenly appearing by your side.
“Danny?” You asked weakly, opening your eyes and seeing him there, “What are you doing here?”
“Your partner and I have an agreement. He calls me when you do something stupid, like deciding not to call anyone when you get hurt…plus you’re all over the news so I’ll give it ten more minutes until everyone we’re related to descends,”
You let out a heavy breath as you straightened up.
“You okay kid?” He asked, serious this time, taking your hand as you closed your eyes again.
“No,” You joked, “Apparently it’s not a good idea to take a swim in the Hudson River…in February,”
“I could have told you that,” He commented.
“Where would I be without you and your wisdom?” You continued.
“Dead,” He stated with a smirk before you sat in silence for a while.
“You don’t look okay,” He finally mentioned, unable to be subtle.
“You’ve already said that,” You played along.
“You sure you okay?”
You shook your head.
“I’ve really fucked up,” You whispered.
“I could have told you that,” He teased.
“I’m being serious,” You chuckled.
“So am I,” He winked, “But whatever is I’ll be here for you,”
“I know,”
“How bad can it be?” He offered.
“Daniel,” You warned.
“I didn’t ask what it was!” He defended, “Chill…wait actually don’t. We need you to warm up,”
You rolled your eyes as he seemingly started getting settled in the seat beside you.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s either I stay with you until you get discharged or everyone comes and waits with you,” He explained, grabbing a random magazine from the sideboard and flipping through it.
“Thank you,” You whispered.
“Whatever,” He dismissed, but he was still holding your hand.
A couple of hours later, Danny was helping you get released and the back home. You were feeling much better well better than before at least. But you knew you could recover at home at this point. Almost glad that you were going to get a couple of days off so you could think everything through, now that you were in the clear baby wise, in hopefully a better state of mind. You also had to figure things out with Peter and tell him that you were pregnant.
“So where’s that boyfriend of yours?” Danny asked, after stepping into the elevator to leave.
“He’s been in court all day he probably hasn't got the message,” You offered, though you were unsure.
“He could have called,” He suggested.
“My phone is in the Hudson River,” You reminded.
“Someone must have told him,” Danny insisted.
“I don’t know,” You stated a bit too harshly which shut him up.
Danny drove you home and you waved him off when he insisted to walk you back up. So you made your way up to your apartment alone, still in pain and just wanting to sleep, you had almost hoped that you would be greeted with an empty apartment like you had done so many nights these past few weeks. But no such luck.
You were greeted immediately by an obviously worried Peter, who had been pacing the living room, waiting for you.
“Y/N,” He breathed when you stepped towards him.
You opened your mouth to speak but you were speechless. You wanted to mad, angry, upset but also happy and you strangely felt relieved seeing him. You wanted a definitive emotion to feel and definitive idea of what to do. Your heart, your mind was at war in that second, screaming at you. And you gave in, just to what you wanted.
You raised your arms, indicating to him what you wanted. He rushed he wrap his arms around you as you buried yourself into his embrace, a slight sway as you held each other. Once again overwhelmed, so tears were spilling and you could feel his too when he pressed his face to yours when he leaned down.
“Where were you?” You asked.
“I didn’t know if you wanted me there,” He confessed, “But Danny texted me everything. I knew he would be with you so I asked him.”
“I needed you,” You whimpered.
“I know,” He sighed, “I just keep screwing all this up and getting things wrong,”
You breathed in.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“No broken bones or anything but I need a few days because hypothermia is awful when you’re…” You started before stopping.
“What?”
“We need to talk,” You announced, stepping back and looking at him directly.
“We don’t have to do this now,” He reassured.
“We need to, now more than ever,” You brushed off, determined.
“Are you sure?”
“What you did was fucked up,” You confronted, “You made me feel so alone and I need someone who can never even imagine doing that to me,”
“There is no excuse for what I did,” Peter agreed.
“I know it wasn't because of me but you projected it onto me and that can’t happen,” You continued.
“I know,” He nodded, “It won’t ever happen again,”
“I hope it doesn’t because I do love you but I can’t know if I can do this,”
“What?”
“Us?”
“Are you?”
“No,” You reassured, “We need to work on things but I’m willing to if you are,”
“I am,”
“Good,” You sighed in relief, “Because there is something else,”
“What?”
“I’m four weeks pregnant,”
You watched as Peter registered the shock of your words. He looked taken aback which you expected but you didn't expect what came next. You expected an expression of worry, fear but all you got was one of love.
A smile.
“Seriously?” He questioned, holding you once again, searching your eyes with his.
“Yeah,” You whispered.
He pulled you into him again, the buzz of excitement almost vibrating off him, everything transpiring beforehand escaping from his mind as he was filled with unbridled joy.
“That is the greatest news I have ever heard,”
“It is?” You asked, pulling back in his arms to look at him again.
“Of course,” He breathed, leaning his forehead against yours, “There is no one else I’ve ever wanted to do this with besides you. I knew from the day we met that I wanted everything I told myself I didn't when I met you,”
“You want kids?” You questioned.
“Yes,” He grinned but it flattered as it looked at your expression, “Don’t you?”
“I…I don’t know…” You admitted, almost shamefully.
“We’ll figure this out,” He promised, grasping your hand and kissing it.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“You won’t leave me alone?” You asked, shakily.
“Never again will I ever be stupid,”
“I don’t want we’re going to do,”
“We’ll figure it out,”
“I love you,” You muttered into his ear.
“Thank god,” He breathed, “Because I love you too. I always will,”
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New Detective
SVUxBlueBloods: Det. Sonny Carisi, Det. Riley Fitzgerald (OC), Lt. Olivia Benson, ADA Rafael Barba
Word Count: 1,086
(T)W: Hint at death,
Request: No
Pt 2
It was your first day at the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. You had recently transferred over from Chicago to the Narcotics Division in Manhattan then transferred over to the Homicide unit before moving to SVU, constantly looking for somewhere you fit in. Your CO’s were concerned that you were ‘getting too restless’ and ‘falling into too much of a rut or routine’ with how familiar and repetitive most homicide and drug cases panned out. That and you were concerned people in homicide would find out you were related to Detective Danny Reagan and would then be constantly compared with your big brother. There was a reason you took your mother’s maiden name when you joined the academy and it was to avoid being compared to your siblings and your father and your grandfather. You wanted to make a name for yourself outside of the so-called ‘Reagan Dynasty’. But you couldn’t do that if everyone in your precinct was constantly calling you ‘Baby Reagan’.
As you stepped off the elevator and walked towards the bullpen you paused, taking a deep breath and bracing yourself for the inevitable questions which were bound to happen, and which did happen every time you had transferred unit, “why’d you transfer?” “Where did you transfer from?” “What was your old precinct like?”, the list goes on. You had never been in the Manhattan precinct before and had to ask the officers at the desk where Lieutenant Benson’s office was, once they pointed you in the direction you thanked them and walked towards it, ensuring to remind yourself to breathe as you did so. When you got to Benson’s door, you chapped, once you’d chapped you thought that maybe you had chapped too softly but you weren’t bold enough like Danny to knock again, just in case. Instead you waited for a response, you decided to give it a couple of minutes so as not to seem too rude.
It only took a couple of seconds for Benson to open the door, when she saw you she smiled softly and stepped aside for you to enter. “Ah, you must be Detective Riley Fitzgerald? Please, please come in, take a seat.” You nodded and did as Benson asked, when you entered the room you hadn’t noticed the man in the suit with a very stern face, you looked briefly back to Benson before taking a seat across from her desk, “I’m sorry Lieutenant, I didn’t realise you had company.” Benson just shook her head smiling, “Don’t worry about it Detective, this is ADA Rafael Barba.” She gestured towards Barba who looked disinterested and gave you a curt nod before standing and making to leave, “Liv, we’ll discuss the details of the case later. Detective, pleasure.” That was all he said before looking between yourself and Benson and then walking swiftly out the door, closing it behind him.
After a couple of awkward minutes in Benson’s office, in which time she had offered you water and other beverages you didn’t know how many times, Benson finally gave you a defeated look. “Look, Detective, I know who your family is, and I have to say, I’ve heard a lot about your brothers.” You looked at the ground sheepishly, “all three of them, I was so sorry to hear about Joe.” She gave you a sympathetic look. “Look Lieutenant, not to come across as rude or anything, but, there is a reason why I didn’t use my father’s name when I signed up to the Academy, and there’s a reason I’m not using it now. I want to make my own way as a Detective without people giving me special treatment because I’m the daughter of the Commissioner and the sister of two of the most well-known detectives in the force. I’d really appreciate it if we could keep that detail of my personal life just between us.” At this Olivia smiled at you, “Alright Detective, I completely understand and respect your decision. Shall I introduce you to the rest of the team now?” You smiled at Benson and stood when she did. She then led you to the squad room for you to meet your new team.
When you entered the ‘bull pen’ all the detectives heads seemed to swivel in you and Benson’s direction, it was a little intimidating, but growing up in a family of police officers and armed forces personnel, you’d learned to pretend that it didn’t bother you. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet our recruit. This is Detective Riley Fitzgerald, she just transferred from Homicide.” You smiled at everyone, “Hey, you guys can call me ‘Lee’ or ‘Fitz’” you said as you shook the other detectives hands, “Riley, these are Detective’s; Fin Tutuola, Amanda Rollins, Nick Amaro and Dominick Carisi.” Benson introduced each member as you shook their hands, when you got to Carisi the Detective gave you a smile and said, “Hey, nice to meetcha, feel free to call me Sonny.” You smiled and let go of his hand. “Nice to meet you all.”
Once the 21 questions portion of meeting your new team was over, you were assigned to your desk, which was opposite Detective Carisi’s. You tried to get settled in, moving things around on your desk, finding your new log-in for the computer sitting on the desk and adjusting your chair. Once you had everything sorted you set to work answering e-mails and getting familiar with some of the previous cases SVU had worked, this included getting up to date with the current case that Barba must have been referring to when you met him in Benson’s office earlier.
You were so wrapped up in catching up with the case that you hadn’t heard Carisi talking to you until you felt something soft hit your shoulder. When you were pulled out of your reverie you looked down to see a paper ball lying on your desk. You looked up at Carisi, “Sorry, was that you that hit me with a paper ball?” you said while a small laugh escaped you, Carisi looked at you with wide eyes, “Sorry, not me.” You looked around to see Rollin’s trying to avoid your gaze, she eventually gave up and turned to you laughing, “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist, you were so entranced in whatever case you were readin’” you just laughed in response and threw Amanda’s paper ball back at her, “Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes I get a little caught up running through theories and playing catch up.”
(GIF Credit: @eighthmark)
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Imagine finding out the truth about your parents, Rafael and Erika (TPELB Part Eleven)
Imagine finding out the truth about your parents, Rafael and Erika (TPELB Part Eleven)
*Masterlist with all the parts HERE *
Imagine finding out the truth about your parents, Rafael and Erika (TPELB Part Eleven)
“I have a proposition for you if you are willing to entertain me for a bit, or for dinner at least,”
You looked up momentarily. Meeting his eyes, the same eyes you had, before glancing back down at your plate without a word or a second glance. You continued to push your dinner around your plate with your fork, not eating it just toying with it. If you did it long enough he would usually let you go without finishing. He got tired of trying…until the next day.
You’d been living with your ‘Father’ Rafael Barba, unwillingly and involuntarily, for over two months now which meant it had been exactly 64 days since you’d seen your family in person. You knew you would see them eventually but it was his decision to decide when. He’d persuaded the Judge to allow a ‘settling in period’ which meant you couldn't see your family even though they shared custody in order to let you get settled in without any undue influence. He used you outburst as evidence that you needed it and as a result the last time you talked to any of them in person or seen them. You texted, e-mailed, wrote letters but it wasn’t the same.
And even though it had been two months, nothing had changed. You felt nothing but contempt for the man who essentially took and obliterated anything that had once made you happy. Take today, it was Friday and if things were the same you’d be sipping milkshakes with Will at your favourite cafe right now. But instead, your favourite day had transformed into your least. Friday was the day he made an effort to spend time with you. Every other day of the week, Sarah, Mr Barba’s housekeeper and now you nanny would watch you and make you dinner. But on Fridays, he dismissed her and made dinner for the both of you himself. He made you eat together on Fridays and Sundays and took you to his mother’s on Saturday. You didn’t speak on Fridays or anytime when it was just the two of you or when visiting his Mom. You wanted them to know how angry you were. You had eased up overtime with Sarah. She was nice, understanding but ultimately still his employee.
“You’re going to have to talk to me eventually,”
You ran your tongue over your teeth and kept your head down. You were starving but you were determined not to eat anything he made, which included this dinner. You would eat Sarah’s dinner and you’d even relented with his Mothers, your Grandmother. Just not his, you shunned everything that was associated with him. He’d had to get Sarah to unpack your things because you refused too. You didn't pick out a colour for your walls or any furniture so his assistant and Sarah had done it themselves under his instruction. It turned out quite nice and the room was larger than your old one but it wasn’t yours. It was still his apartment, everything he had bought you was still his. His attempt to get you onside. Nope, you responded to yourself. You only spoke to him when you absolutely had too and used things he bought when you had to out of necessity and you wanted to keep it that way. You didn’t want to allow yourself to soften your stance.
“Y/N please,” He suddenly pleaded, startling you.
You looked up out of shock, your eyes widen as his bores into yours from across the table. His tone was desperate, broken. A little like you. He’d been so trying hard this whole time to no avail and perhaps that failure had finally gotten to him.
You didn’t look away this time. You kept looking at each other. He’d made no progress, you look at him with the same anger as you did in that courtroom. If not more as it was after you’d had all of your stuff moved to his he told you he was blocking access to your family until he thought you were ready. You think he thought it would encourage you to engage with him, the prospect of seeing your family. But you refused to play his game, you wouldn't engage until you could see them.
You didn’t talk enough to argue but if you did, you’d probably argue you over that. Or why he was so against them. He badly hid his negative feeling towards your family which utterly confused you. They hadn't done anything to him. But his tone filled with venom even when mentioning them in passing.
It made you angry. But you also felt a wave of intense confusion, curiosity.
Silence fell, he took the opportunity to elaborate.
“How about this,” He began, bargaining, putting down his essentials and crossing his arms, “I’ll answer any question you want if you answer one of mine in return,”
You titled your head at him. Evaluating his serious expression and as soon as you were sure he being truthful, once you were satisfied you set down your fork and pushed your plate away.
You nodded, briskly.
You never could resist your curiosity.
You watched as a wave of relief washed over him. He looked confident. He thought he was making headway. If only he knew how wrong he was.
“What happened to your hand” Mr Barba, asked you from across the table, casually, before eating a forkful of dinner.
You glossed over your bandaged knuckles, offering no explanation. But you had your thoughts.
“What the hell?” His voice cried, the door swinging open, beside you, it was strong, commanding, intense, “Y/N, what are you…?”
His voice softened at the sight of you. His eyes burning into your side. But you didn’t move, you didn’t even turn to look at him even though he was only a few feet away. Against the blurring world and the debris around you, you raised your shaking hand, and at that moment it was the only thing you could focus on, your shaking hand and the blood leaking out your freshly bruised knuckles.
“Y/N…”
“Y/N!”
You staggered backwards messily, his panicked voice the only thing you could hear over the deafening sound of your heart pounding in your veins. Your hand was stinging with fierce pain. But it was better. Way better, even if it was only a distraction, stinging was better than dull and relentless.
“Y/N, please talk to me”
“Oh my God, Y/N, your hand!”
You backed up until you felt the cool brick wall against your back, digging harshly into your skin as you tried to stabilise yourself against it.
You cradled your head in your injured hands as you heard his footsteps approach you, highlighted by the broken glass he had to walk on.
“Y/N?” A familiar but unwanted voice asked.
It was almost a whisper, a plea.
Your head shot up, your features already composed into a steely glare as you caught him look between you and the opposite end of the hallway.
“Oh Y/N,” He breathed, “ We need to get you to the nurse,”
He reached out for you after and you instinctively slammed your back, back against the wall, harshly.
“Okay, okay,” He reasoned, throwing his hands up apologetically, seeing you were unwilling to go with him, “Do you want me to get someone else to take you?”
You shook your head.
“Do you just not want to go?”
You nodded, sliding to the floor against the wall. Shards of glass grazing your skin. You weren't going to speak to him. Arguing would involve speaking to him which you were vehemently opposed to doing. You sat heavily. You could feel your detachment from everything that was happening around you. He was probing at you, checking your hand, trying to get you to talk him. But you were dazed, your mind an unsettling state of blankness.
There was nothing, there was no one.
Just you.
But your anger towards him was enough to bring you back to reality when he spoke.
“Why did you do it, Y/N?” Mr Morgan, his face was concerned if not highlighted with guilt, his eyes were pleading, begging you to speak.
He knelt down beside you, leaving a gap just in case.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” Your tone was cold, stark and in tone that you couldn't even recognise your own voice. But they were your words.
“Please, talk to me,”
“Was I not clear?” You questioned, the fog in your brain evaporating as you were suddenly fuelled by rage after snapping your head in his direction.
“I’m sorry, I thought…” He began to excuse.
“That you were doing the right thing,” You’ve waved off, already knowing where this conversation was going, “You’ve said that and more grovel over a hundred times by now. Which is why I stopped you. I don’t want to hear it again. I want what I’ve always wanted when we have this conversation. For you to leave me alone,”
“I’m your teacher,”
“I’m well aware. Which is why I say nothing when I have to be around you. And in case you haven't noticed I don’t have a Physics lesson right now so please leave,” You stated, holding your voice strong.
“I care about you, Y/N.” He sighed, adjusting his glasses as he always did when he was uncomfortable, “And I can’t just leave you in the hallway! I truly am sorry for what happened. I didn’t think you’d be…”
“So upset?” You offered, interrupting him yet again, “Wouldn’t you be upset if someone violated your privacy?”
“I thought we did the right thing by giving her your letter,” He whispered, bowing his head, “If I had known that…”
“What? If you had known what? If you would have known that you giving my Father’s lawyer a letter I wrote in therapy behind my back would mean I would no longer trust you, you wouldn't have done it? Here’s an idea next time you run the idea by someone because anyone with a half functioning brain would know that would be a bad idea,” You snapped, turning away from him, “How many times do I have to say I don’t want to talk to you?”
Your voice was breaking, your eyes were blurring.
“I’m not going to stop trying,”
“Why not?” You demanded, practically hissing between your teeth.
“You need someone to talk to,” He insisted, his tone sympathetic and lost, almost in mourning though you had no idea as to what, “And that’s what I’m most sorry about, that my actions mean that you can no longer trust me because I know that right now you need people you can trust more than ever. I wish you could trust me again,”
“How can I ever talk to you without worrying that you’ll go tell someone what I’ve said?” You countered, “Or even worse tell him, what I said?”
“What can I do to make you trust me again?”
You shook your head, “I don’t know,” You paused before despite your better judgment giving him a faint small sad smile, “But you know what I do know?” Meeting his gaze for the first time, “Everybody I want to talk to, I’m not allowed to.”
“I know it’s been hard,”
“You’re not making it any easier,” You pleaded, “Can you please just go? Shouldn't you have to fill in a report or something?”
“I can’t leave you here,” He sighed, glancing around the empty hallway, the shattered glass and the destroyed display, “Why’d you do it?”
You finally looked up at what you had done. It was the school display for last years science fair. Littered with design to showcase all the wonderful inventions that had been presented including the winning entry. Yours, though the place where'd your winning photo had been was evidently blank, the display was ruined and the glass case over was shattered. Due to you putting your fist through it. Glass was all over the floor as were the torn up pieces of your winning picture.
“I couldn't look at it anymore,” You confessed, your voice finally breaking and tears giving way down your cheeks. You went to rub your eyes only to wince at the flexing of your hand, you lowered it before sighing, “For two months I’ve had to walk past it and I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't look at it anymore.”
“I punched a glass case,” You looked away as you spoke, to avoid his reaction.
“It’s your turn to ask…”
“Why can’t I go home?” You stated, cutting him off,
“You are home,” He insisted, before questioning and gesturing in your direction, “Why did you do it?”
The picture, you just couldn't look at that picture. You thought back to that day as if you were trying to make yourself feel even worse.
“Now what is that?” Your Great-Grandfather Henry exclaimed, pointing to one of your classmate's projects as he walked by, much to your annoyance and your Uncle Joe’s amusement.
“Shh,” You hissed, swatting him, “They’re about to announce the winner,”
“Y/N/N, why are so worried?” He asked, jovially, before leaning in and whispering, “You know we’ve already got this in the bag,”
“We?” Joe questioned from the other side of you, “Grandpa, this is Y/N’s project,”
“I helped,” He insisted, pointing to the decoration part of your project, “That was all me,”
“I gave him the choice between red or blue ribbon,” You clarified, before shooting him a sly wink.
“It was my glue gun,” He reminded, “And besides the only real competition is that volcano,”
“The volcano?” You questioned, taken aback, “You think that’s impressive?”
“How did he get it to erupt?” He countered.
“Someone is lighting a lightbulb with a potato,” You stated.
“But is the potato erupting?” He pointed out with a distracted nod before glancing over the stage and grabbing your hand, “They're about to announce the winner, pipe down,”
“I already said…” Joe went to say.
“Hush, Joseph,” He warned off, dismissively.
Uncle Joe rolled his eyes before flashing you wink and grabbing your shoulder supportively. You’d appraised the competition and you knew you were a shoo-in to win but you always got nervous in situations like this. Nobody said you had to win but you felt like you had too. You were genius, everyone said so, the smartest person in the room. You had to win. And you always did. You shut your eyes tightly, ignoring everything around you in an effort to tame your racing heart. Only opening your eyes to joyful hollers and celebratory jostles.
“We won!!!”
“Y/N won,” Uncle Joe corrected.
“I won?”
“You won,” They confirmed in unison.
“How…I…did…” You stuttered.
“Just go,” Joe ushered.
“Come with me?” You asked, hopefully, looking at them both in turn.
“It’s our time to shine,” Your Great-Grandpa agreed, offering you his elbow as you began walking up to the stage, with your Uncle Joe following behind, slightly embarrassed.
You were congratulated again and met with another applause when they presented with you a trophy. It had been donated by one of the other parents and subsequently much bigger than last year. It was over half your size and when they handed it to you, you struggled straight away. Your Uncle Joe quickly grabbed at one side and Henry the other to help stabilise you. The celebratory picture was taken at that moment and you all had massive smiles on your faces as you tried to keep the trophy upright.
You all were so happy.
But you weren’t anymore.
And looking at that picture every day, just reminded you of that fact.
You just couldn't take it anymore, seeing how you all were every damn day when you walked out of class. You said the same thing to Mr Morgan before bursting into tears and sobbing on the floor of the hall for what seemed like hours. He had stayed with you that day, wrapping a hesitant arm over you as you buried your broken and sobbing face into your knees. Hugging your legs in an attempt to stop yourself shaking, hugging yourself as no one else could.
You were alone.
“This isn’t my home. It’s yours, I’m just forced to be here,”
“That wasn’t answer to my question,” He pointed out.
“I couldn't take it anymore,” You offered, purposely aloof with your words.
He swallowed hard, the tension between you palpable.
“Why can’t I see my family?”
“I want you to settle in fully before you see them again, so they can’t…” He trailed off purposely, looking in the other direction and breaking away from your intense gaze.
“What?” You probed spitefully, “Turn me against you?” You rolled your eyes and leant against a balled fist, “Too late,”
“One day you will understand,” He breathed, pulling the napkin off his lap and wiping the corners of his mouth.
“Do you think I’m incapable of understanding your reasoning right now?” You countered, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair, “I’m the smartest person in most rooms I walk into…including this one,”
“Academic intelligence is different from emotional intelligence,” He sighed.
“Of course,” Your muttered, rolling your eyes, “I don’t think…”
“It’s for your own good,” He suddenly offered.
“Bullshit,” You breathed.
“Y/N!” He warned.
“I’m not a child,” You shot back, “Don’t try to mess me around. You didn’t do this for me,” You took a sharp intake of breath, “You did this for you. To alleviate guilt. Make yourself feel better. Whatever your reason don’t kid yourself and pretend you’re doing this for me. Because if you were we wouldn't be sitting here. I would be at home, my real home, and you would be making an effort to get to know me before separating me and taking me away from the only family I’ve ever known. You’re doing this for you. And I don’t know why,”
“You’re right,” He admitting, “Part of this is for me but it is mostly for you no matter what you think. I’m doing this for the both of us,”
“That’s not an answer,” You argued, “I want to know why,”
“I want to be your Dad. I’ve already missed thirteen years…”
“But that was your choice,” You reminded, insistently.
“That is not true,” He stated fiercely and adamantly, it was clearly something he was sensitive about and yet you didn't believe a word.
“I listened to it, you know,” You announced, a beat of silence before you spoke as the tension fizzled.
His face flashed an expression of confusion, looking back at you blankly as he registered your words.
“The recording,” You clarified, blinking away the tears that were blurring your vision and clenching your fist in an effort to stop it shaking, “Of what I believe to be the last conversation you guys ever had?”
“How did you…?”
“You really think they wouldn't find a way to give me it?” You countered, raising an eyebrow at him and tilting your head as you observed him closely, “If you didn't think you would, you are very much underestimating them,”
He chuckled dryly, shaking his head, “Of course they did,” He looked away, placing his hands on the edge of the table, gripping tightly as he collected his thoughts, before swinging a glance back in your direction, mirroring your natural head tilt, “What did you think…?”
“Are you asking for my opinion?” You questioned, taken aback.
He gave a heavy look but purposefully made no effort to verbally encourage you to continue.
“You were cruel…cold,” You stated, harshly, pointedly, as you stared him down, “Angry, even”
“You don’t understand,” He interrupted, repeating himself.
“Maybe,” You shrugged, “Maybe I don’t understand. But I do know one thing. Your reaction to it doesn’t make sense,”
“What do you mean?” He finally gave in and prompted, his gaze meeting yours as your observations reeled him in, curiosity getting the better of him.
“There was no shock, no surprise, not even fear just anger. Like you knew it was coming,” You offered, blinking innocently at him before shaking your head with false light-heartedness “But that isn't possible…right?”
He didn’t miss a beat and you had a feeling both of you knew the last conversation they had ever had word for word.
“Hello?”
“Rafael?” Erika questioned, almost nervous.
“Oh hi,” Rafael responded, his surprise evident, “It’s nice to hear from you? How are you?”
“Okay,” She replied shakily, “You?”
“Good,” He said, “Listen, you know I was planning on calling…”
“Rafael, I don’t know how to tell you this,” Erika began all of sudden, she couldn’t keep it in.
“Okay…” He dragged out, confused, slowing done his packing, “What’s up?”
“I’m pregnant,”
The words hit Rafael’s ears. For the first five seconds, he was silent. Then he opened his desk drawer and searched. Once he found it, he pulled it out and held it in his hands. Opening it up slowly, the memory of the first time he received it washed over. He knew what he had to do and he didn’t like it.
“Rafael?” Erika asked, thinking the connection had been lost or he had been stunned into silence.
“Are you joking?” He countered.
“No, of course not,” Erika refuted, “I wouldn’t lie about something like this,”
“Come on,” He insisted, “Enough is enough. I’m not falling for it!”
“I’m not joking!” Erika insisted, “It’s the truth! I can prove it!”
“Yeah okay, I’m sure you can,” He played off, “Listen I don’t have time for this, okay? You can't-fool me so your little trick failed. So can we just drop this and never speak to each other again?”
“Rafael, I don’t understand,” Erika sighed, her voice softening.
“I do though. This is just your attempt at a money grab, right?” He accused, “It’s pretty obvious,”
“I don’t want your money and how fucking dare you accuse me…” Erika stated.
“How many people have you tried this on?” He countered.
“I don’t know why you are thinking this way but the truth is I’m pregnant and it’s yours so,” Erika stated once again, getting angry at this point.
“Whatever you say,” He entertained, mockingly.
“Why are you acting like this?” Erika demanded.
“Why are you?” Rafael countered, “You could do much more with your life than reducing yourself to this.”
“What the hell is going on?” She demanded.
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” He countered.
“I can’t deal with you. How dare you? You don’t even know me,” She began to rant.
“You’re right,” Erika agreed, “And I clearly don’t know you either. I thought you were a decent person,”
“Yeah, let’s debate my decency,” He chuckled, condescendingly.
“You know what I can’t deal with you anymore. So I’m going to hang up but before I do. Just know when you realise that you’re wrong because you will. You will never ever see this kid unless it’s over my dead body. Are we understood? Because I wouldn’t want them to have such an insensitive moronic bastard as a Dad.” She shouted down the line before hanging up angrily.
“I can’t honestly sit here and say that I wasn’t expecting a call from your mother that day,” He confessed.
“But how?” You pleaded.
“I’m trying to protect you by not getting you involved,”
“I’m already involved,” You stated, slamming your palms into the table, jostling the dishes before you retracted your hand, hissing in pain.
“Are you okay?” He questioned, concerned, jumping out of his seat.
“Don’t,” You warned, making sure he kept his distance, holding your throbbing hand to your chest, “Don’t come near me unless you're ready to tell me the truth. That’s all I want,”
“I don’t want to hurt you,”
“You already have,”
“After your mother and I split ways. I was sent a package,” He began, “In it was a letter explaining that your mother or at least Rosie MacDonald which was the name she gave me was a scam artist who pulled cons on young professional men. Including ones that pertained to faking a pregnancy in an effort to extort money,”
“Who would do that?” You asked, softly, taking in the information.
“I don’t know,” He said, solemnly, “All I know is at the time it was enough. They gave evidence and even provided a police badge number. I didn't think twice. I was just happy that I avoided getting scammed. But now I think there’s more to it,”
“Well, obviously,” You sighed, “For one I’m real, she was actually pregnant and secondly my Mother wasn’t a scam artist. She was a cop,”
“Who was undercover when we met,” He added, “And I don’t know why. After I found out she was not who I thought she was. I looked and I couldn't find anything,”
“What do you mean?”
“I couldn't find anything on the operation she was working on or even who she was investigating. I even finally looked up the badge number from the original letter only to find out that it had been reallocated,” He continued.
“That doesn’t make sense,”
“It didn’t until,” He began before stopping.
“Until what?” You encouraged.
“Y/N please,”
“Just tell me the truth,” You pleaded angrily before softening your voice as you slouched back in your chair.
“When I found out your mother was dead, I was devastated and I wanted to know what happened,” He admitted, “I guess a part of me still did care as soon as I found out she was genuine. And I felt incredibly guilty that I could never to apologise to her for how I treated her. And I know you told me how she died but I wanted to know. So looked for the file and that’s when I knew something was wrong,”
“Why?”
“How did your mother die, Y/N?”
“A car crash during a police chase,” You answered matter of factly.
“Who told you that?”
“My family, obviously,”
His head was bowed, he couldn't meet your eyes. His breathing laboured as he considered his words carefully.
“Mr Barba?”
“She didn’t die in car crash Y/N,” He finally said.
“What?” You spluttered, almost laughing, “You’re kidding,”
“That is the official story, the one the media reported, the one everyone believes but it’s not what happened,” He elaborated.
“So what’s the truth?” You demanded, not being able to comprehend the information.
“You’re shaking,” He whispered, bending down beside your seat, he reached for your uninjured hand, hesitantly, as if he expected that you'd snatched it away.
But you didn’t. You let him grab your hand.
“Are you okay?”
“Just tell me the truth,” You insisted, keeping your head down as you adjusted once again.
“She was shot dead in her car,” He revealed, slowly, breaking the news as gently as he could.
“I…I don’t understand,” You let out, “She was murdered?”
He nodded.
“Why would someone…? Why would they lie to me?” You spluttered, breathing heavily.
“I don’t know. All I know is someone when to great lengths to keep everything about your mother under wraps. Almost changed, distorted, sealed away. I had to go find original copies of the case files to get the truth about what happened. Someone when to great lengths to cover up everything your mother was doing and how she died,” He explained, “And that’s why I did all this. I needed to protect you because I’d already failed for so long. I needed you to get you away from them,”
“From who?”
He gave you a guilty look, “There are only a few people powerful enough to orchestrate a cover-up like this. And your Grandfather’s one of them,”
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Imagine Peter meeting your family and them not knowing you’re dating
(A/N: This is long because I don't know when to stop. Also, I’ve decided that all my Peter imagines taking place in the same timeline with the same Y/N. You don't need to read all of them but they are all connected so they offer background. I just really like the Y/N and the dynamic! I hope you enjoy this. I know I’m doing a lot of peter stuff but I’m currently obsessed. EDITING LATER. I’M TIRED SO I’M SORRY IT SUCKS!)
WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE CONTENT! NOT N*FW BUT BORDERLINE
Imagine Peter meeting your family and them not knowing you’re dating
You’d seen many of the different sides to the illustrious ADA Peter Stone over the time you’d known him. His usual stern, cold and sarcastic demeanour that he adorned during work that rarely ever faltered, his cheekier, carefree and flirter side when he was off the clock or had a couple of drinks I'm him. The in-between that only ever appeared when you had worn him down with he described as your ‘sparkling personality’ a comment almost always followed by an eye-roll. His utter heartbreak and hopelessness. To his pure pleasure and desire whenever it was the just the two of you. You’d seen all of him but you couldn't honestly say that you had ever seen him completely relaxed and content.
Until this morning that is.
You’d woken up and found yourself in his arms. You were on your front, your head resting on his firm chest as well as your right shoulder and arm that was wrapped loosely wrapped his torso. The rest of your body pressed comfortably into his side. Your legs entangled though it seemed like Peter had eased his limbs off yours so you wouldn't have to deal with the pressure. You couldn't move as Peter had a strong hold on your right hip, his arm resting lightly on your back to keep you in place. Right next to his heart. You couldn't move, but you didn't want too.
He was still sleeping and when you looked up at him. He was content and completely relaxed. His sharp features light and at ease but what convinced you the most was the small smile he had as he slept. It was small almost smirk but a smile all the same. He looked peaceful. Happy…You couldn't help but smile back up at him.
You eased your hand up to touch his face gently, barely applying any pressure because you didn't want to disturb him, your heart swelling with joy, after everything he gone through it was nice to see him like this. You weren't convinced that you were the reason, you were just a contributor.
You shifted as best as you could.
“Stop moving,” A gravelly voice murmured above you before pulling you even closer to him, his grip on you strong but you were undoubtedly comfortable.
You lifted your head up to look at his face. His expression remained the same and his eyes were still closed. He dipped his head to the crook between your neck and shoulder, his face in your messy hair and the tip of his nose and breath tickling the sensitive skin of your neck.
“So you are awake?” You questioned playfully, the sensation making you shudder slightly.
“No, I’m still sleeping,” He mumbled into your skin as he pulled even more of you on top of him and he continued to bury his face into your neck, moving your hair out the way and placing a small kiss on the exposed skin.
“Then why are you talking?” You countered, adjusting to your new position.
“Talking in your sleep is actually a very common occurrence and is not usually considered a medical problem,” He began to lecture but his voice still remained husky in tone.
“Peter, it’s 10am,” You announced, lifting your head off his chest to glance at the clock on his bedside table
“It’s Sunday,” He countered, his voice restless and thick with sleep, which he seemed to be falling back into it.
“You’re the one that likes to wake up early!” You reminded, with a breathy chuckle.
“I’m aware but when you’ve been kept up all night…” He argued, whispering now, obviously exhausted by last nights activities.
“It wasn't all night and need I remind you that you’re the one who invited me over,” You defended, enjoying how easy it was to argue with Peter while he was basically asleep.
“For dinner,” He stated, even tired he could be on the top his game.
“You didn't complain last night when dinner turned into this,” You pointed out.
“Go back to sleep Y/N,” He mumbled, giving in.
“You know I have to leave soon, right?” You commented while counteractively wrapping an arm around him in order to get comfortable.
“No,” He moaned without thinking, his voice vibrating, “You have to stay here with me,”
“Why’s that?” You probed eagerly.
“Because you’re soft and comfortable and I am tired.” He began to list lazily as if he wasn't paying attention, “And I like you a lot. I like it when you’re here…a lot,”
“Are you always so romantic in the morning?” You teased, kissing the base of his neck.
There was silence as he hesitated and shifted. Waking up completely now and clearly registering everything he had just said in his semi-conscious state.
“No,” He said sternly, his voice adjusting and suddenly clear and stern like at work, obviously an attempt to hide his embarrassment.
“Nooo,” You whined, pouting as he opened eyes and adjusted so you could look at each other, “Give me sleepy romantic Peter back,”
“He doesn't exist,”
“I beg to differ,” You scoffed, jabbing a finger into his side as you continued, “Normal Peter is never romantic,”
“And yet he has so much success getting you to sleep with him,” Peter commented, lying back comfortably beneath you.
You sat up for the sole purpose of looking him in the eye when you glared at him.
“You’re one cocky bastard, you know that?” You scolded as he smirked.
“Would it make you feel better I pretend to be hurt?” He asked his voice laced with sickening sweetness, just to tease you.
“Now I’m glad I have to leave,” You huffed, getting off him completely sitting up fully beside him.
He rolled his eyes.
“Don't be like that,” He continued to tease, a stray hand running up the length of your upper thigh “What can I do to make it up to you, hmm?”
“Say something romantic,” You demanded, crossing your arms and huffing like a petulant child.
You watched with a sceptical gaze as you watched him compose himself. His expression turned mysterious, his eyes growing dark with desire, bringing himself up to a seated position. Not breaking eye contact with you, his stare so intense instantaneously that you didn't dare break it and despite your best efforts it made your heart quicken and breath stopped as he had the power to capture your whole being in seconds. He leaned in ever so slightly, his face inches from yours as he lightly brushed the hair from your face.
“So,” He began, his voice suddenly even huskier than before, low and alluring, “How much do I owe you for last night?”
“You bitch,” You exclaimed as he burst into booming laughter.
You shoved him back hard and fell back down on the mattress still laughing. His laugh was hearty and true that you couldn't help but join in despite him besting you. You raised your hand to swat him again playfully but he grabbed your hand and used to pull you on top of him. Your knees falling to either side of his torso as you looked directly down onto his face. Your arms still held above your head.
Still laughing he captured your lips in a searing kiss, his version of an apology, the intensity growing that your held fists were pressed against the headboard as all your attention was fully taken over.
“Why are you so mean to me?” You pouted playfully, break free of his hold so you could run your hands down the length of his chest and then even lower as you could feel from your position how excited he was getting.
Clearly, he wasn't that tried from last night or perhaps he just wasn't tired of you yet.
“You’re the only one who can keep up with me,” He responded sincerely, still panting from breathlessness beneath you.
His words made you stop momentarily, sitting up straight on top of him as you considered what he said. Your heart pounded with content and something else that you couldn't quite figure out. A sensation of feeling overwhelmed but in a good way. You felt good. You could feel Peter was about to say something else but you interrupted him swiftly. Pressing your mouth to his hungrily a surge of passion taking you over as you moved against him, smiling as you did. Peter was taken aback, surprised by the sudden eagerness but there were no complaints. Moans escaping his mouth into yours as you ground your body against his, intensity rising to a level that your knees gave out and you just lay on top of him.
You half expected for him to flip you over and take over but he seemed content with letting you take the lead, surprisingly so as Peter liked to be in control in these circumstances. Though he couldn't help his hands fumbling with the hem of your shirt…his shirt…pulling it off you promptly and tossing it across the room, leaving you bare besides your underwear. His hands roamed your back and the rest of your body for that matter as you began your trail of kisses down the front of his chest. He hissed the lower you got. He pulled you back up for another kiss before you could get any lower than his navel. His fingers now toying with your underwear. You nodded approval and he proceeded promptly.
Then there was a bang. And then another and another, in quick succession.
“Ignore it,” You panted, pulling away so his moan was audible, retracing your trail of kisses but making it lower this time.
“Y/N…” Peter breathed shakily.
Another bang, and then another and then another.
“I don’t think…” Peter began before stopping as you made no attempt to stop.
“NYPD!” A voice boomed followed by another succession of loud knocks.
Perhaps you should have recognised the policeman’s knock. Alas, the words caused both you and Peter to stop in tracks. Sitting up and giving each other a confused look. You fell back onto the bed in a huff about the interruption as Peter pulled on his boxers and grabbed his robe to cover himself.
“I’ll make it quick,” He promised, kissing you fiercely clearly as annoyed as you about the interruption, “Now If you’ll excuse me I’m about to go murder a police officer,”
You chuckled appreciatively, “It’s fine. I’ll go make some coffee instead,”
Peter went to go answer the door and you got dressed before making your way to his kitchen. You heard him talking to who you could only assume was the officer but Peter’s body blocked the view as you walked passed the front door from the living room.
You yawned and a large stretch before going to retrieve two mugs from the cabinet.
“It’s no problem at all, Officer Reagan,” You heard Peter say clearly.
You froze. No…it couldn't be. How would he even know that you were here? Maybe they tracked you? You wouldn't put it past any of them.
“Sorry to interrupt your morning Stone,” You heard what was most clearly Jamie respond.
Of course, they would send Jamie to catch you. Erin and Danny were weak and would never confront you directly.
“Sorry, for making you wait,” Peter added.
“You didn't curse, shout or swear so you really don't have anything to apologise for,” Jamie joked, “Take Care, thanks for the help,”
“See you around Reagan,” Peter concluded before shutting the door.
A silence filled the apartment as Peter made his way to the apartment to meet you, where you were still frozen in place.
“Was that?” You questioned, despite what you had heard you needed some sort of confirmation.
“Your brother Jamie,” He nodded, his look as puzzled as yours.
“How? Why?” You spluttered, almost in shock.
“There was a break-in downstairs and he was canvassing,” He explained.
“So a complete coincidence,”
He nodded.
“How is it that they can cockblock me without even trying?” You sighed before raving, “It’s just like in high school, one of my brothers always managed to interrupt me, though in a lot of those circumstances it was intentional…”
“Was this a common occurrence?” Peter inquired, his curiosity peaked, leaning towards you using the counter as leverage.
“What?”
“Sneaking boys back to your house while you were in high school?” He elaborated, smirking.
“Peter, you know who you are dating,” You stated simply looking up at him.
“I do indeed,” He chuckled an arm slinking around your waist, pulling you close before kissing you, you had to keep your arms outstretched as you were still holding two coffee cups, “Shall we get back to…”
“The moments over sweetie,” You winked, grabbing his face and giving it tight squeeze, “Plus I still do have to leave soon,”
“Right, it’s Sunday,” He nodded, plucking the coffee cups from your hands and gesturing for you to sit at the island.
“Which means its Reagan family time,” You added with a subtle eye-roll.
“Plus it’s your turn to help with the cooking,” He mentioned, as he began to make you both a cup of coffee.
You tossed him a confused looking, resting your chin on your hands and leaning forward, analysing him as he moved around the kitchen.
“What?” He demanded, “I listen when you speak,”
“And yet all my suggestions at work are always ignored,” You countered.
“Because they’re always illegal or inappropriate,” He reminded, before taking a sip of his back coffee, shooting a wink in your direction as he did, as he continued to make your preferred extra froffy latte.
A few minutes later he slid over your coffee before taking a heavy seat beside you at the island counter. Sipping in a comfortable silence. You lost yourself in thought and he seemed to notice.
“You okay?” He asked, peering at you over his mug.
You nodded with a sigh, “I just can’t believe out of all the cops that could have been put on canvas it happened to be my older brother who ends up knocking on your door on a morning when I’m here,”
“Maybe it’s a sign,” He offered with a shrug.
“You don't believe in that stuff,” You pointed out.
“But you do,” He insisted, “Personally I think it’s just a coincidence,”
“Hell of a coincidence,” You muttered.
“Stranger things have happened,” He offered, “Plus it’s not like he saw you. I imagine it would have been much worse if he did. No brother likes seeing their sister half naked emerging out of her new boyfriend's bedroom with sex hair,”
You patted your hair gingerly, before raising an eyebrow and smirking all while leaning into his space, “Boyfriend, huh?”
“It’s been two months, Y/N.” He stated, referring to the amount of time since you had engaged what could only be described as an exclusive relationship after your encounter in his office.
“I’m aware,” You responded, though admittedly you were hesitant, you knew that it was highly likely that he was only seeing you exclusively.
“I didn't think I needed to explicitly ask you to be my girlfriend.” He argued, “I thought it was obvious after what I said before,”
“Yeah,” You confirmed, quickly.
“So you don't mind if I refer to myself as your boyfriend?” He inquired with his usual natural confidence but there was a slight uncertainty laced in the tone of his words, nervousness, hesitation.
“Not at all,” You smiled brightly.
“Good,” He stated, concealing his own smile that was spreading across his features by taking a sip of his coffee.
“Though I personally wouldn't mind if we kept it between us for a little while longer,” You confessed, nervously, looking down at the bottom of your coffee cup, gripping it tightly.
“Oh?” He probed.
“I mean just…I really like where we are right now and just how it is, you know just us knowing…” You fumbled, “My family are really important to me and I want them to introduce you to them eventually just not right now because you’d be the first person…”
“You aren't the only person in this relationship that hasn't been in a serious longterm relationship in a while,” He interrupted, saving you, “I’m okay with taking things slow, keeping things between us and waiting until you're ready to met your family officially as your boyfriend. I’ve said it once and I’ll stay it again. I’m not going anywhere because I like you a lot,”
“Like like me like me?” You joked.
“I like you like you, like really” He empathised, playing along but rolling his eyes so you knew that he disapproved.
“I really like you too,” You beamed in response, “And I’m excited to introduce you to them even though you met them already but as my boyfriend…within the next couple of months,”
“Is that a timeframe I hear?” He mocked lightheadedly.
“You know what that is,” You reenacted, much to your own amusement “Growth,”
A deafening silence ensued.
“Was that a joke? Was I supposed to laugh?” He questioned.
“And to think I was going to come back here after lunch to continue what was so rudely interrupted,” You sighed, dramatically.
“Oh you’re coming back,” He chuckled.
“You sound certain,” You commented, recoiling away from him.
“Need I remind you?” He teased, his eyes sparkling mischievously at you, “You really like me, like like me like me,”
After another round of coffee and a couple of long lazy Sunday morning makeup sessions, Peter finally let you go back to your own apartment to get ready for dinner. And despite his reluctance to let you go, even though you were coming straight back as soon as you were done whenever that would be, you still arrived early which meant you were most definitely on dinner duty. A few hours later you found yourself standing with your Grandfather Henry, peeling and chopping vegetables, while Linda cooking almost everything else. Your Dad was in his office, your brothers hadn't arrived yet neither had Jack, Sean or Nicky, who were all coming together. And Erin was running around the house packing Pop’s suitcase.
“Erin, will you calm down,” You sighed, impatiently as Erin strode into the kitchen for the umpteenth time.
“I’m looking for Pop’s glasses,” She exclaimed, shuffling through the sideboard in search of them.
“Have you tried his face?” You suggested, pointed exaggeratedly at his face with your peeler.
“Hey careful, you'll take my eye out,” He warned, concentrating hard on chopping his potatoes.
You stuck your tongue out at him which he responds to by jabbing you in the ribs, causing you to giggle.
“Okay, maybe, I’m going a little crazy,” She admitted, sitting heavily at the counter, “But I wouldn't be if this one could pack his own suitcase properly,”
“I did a fine job,” Pop huffed.
“You packed cargo pants and fishing rod for Barcelona,” She reminded.
“They fish in Spain!” He insisted, “And besides it was my top choice of vacation destination,”
“You didn't have a choice remember,” Erin chuckled, “This my vacation, you and Nicky are just tagging along because one of you is my daughter and the other is my Grandfather who claimed he wanted to see the world in his retirement,”
“I didn't realise Montana was on the moon,” He snapped.
Erin rolled her eyes at him.
“Notice how neither of us was extended an invitation though,” Linda pointed out teasingly, nudging you as she circled the kitchen.
“I noticed, it’s nice to know how she treats her sisters,” You joined in, dramatically, flashing a disgusted look in Erin’s direction.
“You’re both working,” She reminded, taking it seriously, “And besides the point of taking this trip is…”
“Because you’ve been so dedicated to your job for so long and you’ve been so busy that you haven't taken a day off or vacation. And now that you’re the DA you finally able to take some time to rejuvenate and spend time with your daughter. Because you’re amazing. A martyr really who does nothing but tirelessly help others,” You interrupted before continuing for her, “Yes, Erin we know, you’ve told us fifteen times if not more.”
“I don’t recall referring to myself as a martyr,” She commented holding her arms and leaning back with an annoyed expression on her face.
“It was implied,” You stated, waving the peeler in her direction without thinking.
“Y/N,” Pop said sternly, “Don’t make me take that off you,”
“Please do,” You sighed, before turning back to Erin, “What I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted is that you’re going on this vacation to relax right,”
She nodded.
“Then stop stressing and chill,” You ordered, “Just sit and enjoy your last day in New York before you all leave tomorrow. Who cares if Pop hasn't packed everything he needs. There are shops in Spain,”
“You’re right,” Erin admitted in defeat.
“I still can’t believe you’re even going. Erin Reagan taking time off work to vacation no less.” Linda commented, taking your vegetables.
“I know I’m so proud,” You teased.
“I’m only going because I finally feel like I'm leaving the office in capable hands and it won’t fall to pieces without me,” She muttered, distracted as she began scrolling through her finger, with one finger no less.
“And whose hands are those?” You inquired, casually.
“Hands I’m sure you know very well,” She chuckled quietly, her eyes glued to the phone screen before flickering over to yours, “Peter Stone,”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You demanded, defensively instinctually before immediately regretting it.
“That he’s your departments ADA,” She started slowly, taken aback by your reaction, “And that you work together. What did you think I meant?”
“I thought you were making a bad joke or something,” You played off, letting out a relieved breath.
“Anyway, he’s the only ADA we have that has at least some experience running the whole office. And he’s really been settling well especially the last couple months and considering what happened it’s really nice to see. I was worried but now I definitely feel able to let him be in charge while I’m gone and when I asked he graciously accepted and thanked me.” She explained.
“You like him then?” You probed gently.
“Y/N, I hired him!” Erin countered, “Of course I like him. He’s a hell of an ADA and man might I add,”
“Really?” You questioned, surprised.
She nodded, still engrossed with her phone, “He has a high success rate, nice to work with on my end, handles your department well and from what I hear has really bonded with your department as well,”
“Oh yeah?” You entertained, “Who said that?”
“Peter,” She stated, clearly in her eyes it was obvious, “I do check in with my employees, you know? Your department is notoriously difficult so I took upon myself to make sure he was handling it. You know like most bosses,”
“No need for the attitude Erin. I’m making conversation,” You huffed, “I just don't want to hear you speak about your vacation anymore,”
“Swimming trunks!” Erin said in response, before jumping out of her seat before heading back up the stairs.
“She’s crazy if she thinks I’m going swimming,” Pop whispered in your ear making you laugh.
Thirty minutes later, everyone else had arrived and Linda had completely taken over dinner which was scheduled to start in around twenty minutes time. You were lounging on the sofa with Jamie, watching the game. You had made idle conversation about his morning and he mentioned ending up canvasing ADA Stone’s apartment. It was casual but the interaction made your heart race but forgot about it as soon as he finished, mentioning nothing about seeing you or anyone else in his apartment for that matter.
Much to your relief, might you add. It wasn't like you were afraid of your family finding out about you and Peter or even introducing them to him as your boyfriend, it was just that you wanted to take things slow. It was after all your first real relationship in a long time and you had forgotten truthfully what it was like. It had already been two months but you were enjoying it just being the two of you, right now. And you wanted to hold onto that for as long as could before introducing him to everyone. Your family was the most important thing to you and everyone else in your family so you knew that it was going to happen sooner rather than later.
“Aunt Erin, it’s for you!” Jack called into the house after answering the door.
You heard Erin rush to the door behind you but you didn't pay much attention concentrating on the game as you had bet Danny and you were about to cash in big time. You were so engrossed in the game that despite the proximity you couldn't hear who Erin was talking to.
“Come on. Come on,” You whispered before jumping up dramatically and hollering, grabbing Jamie and shaking him.
“Nooo,” Danny responded, rushing into the room.
“Suck it, Danny,” You shouted happily, spinning around excitedly to face him only to met with a sight that made you stop short.
“Sorry about them,” Erin apologised, giving the three of you disappointed looks before looking at Peter whose gaze was fixed subtly onto yours.
You widened your eyes at him only to shake it off, not wanting acting strange or make it obvious to the five other police officers and lawyer in your family that something was going on between the two of you.
“Hey Pet…Stone,” You greeted, trying to control the shakiness in your voice which you managed to do by the end of it, “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Ada Stone,” Danny greeted, tipping his beer at him before returning to game nonchalantly.
“Danny. Jamie. Y/N,” He acknowledged in turn, “I just stopped by to get Erin’s signature on a couple of things before she left so she won't have to deal with it all when she comes back,”
“So you came all the way from Manhattan?” You questioned, still transfixed in place.
“I know, right,” Erin agreed, “It really could have waited,”
“They’re due on Wednesday and it would have been a massive headache for you when you came back,” He insisted.
“Well, thank you for taking the time and making the trip,” Erin breathed, “Here let’s go into my Dad’s office, it will save my siblings from any further embarrassment.”
The comment earned a snicker from your brothers while all you could offer was an awkward smile.
Peter gave you one last lingering look before following her out. You let out a breath and sat back down heavily. You needed to pull yourself together or you were going to be obvious that something was going on between the two of you. You could no longer focus on the game or engage in the conversation between your brothers. It had caught you off guard that’s for sure. Peter hadn't even mentioned that he would be working while you were gone or that he was in charge of the DA’s office for a week.
Your head continued to spin as you tried to get your head straight.
“Earth to Y/N!” You heard Danny say before jostling you, to get your attention.
“What?” You demanded, smacking his hands away playfully, scowling at him as you focused back on your surroundings.
“Dinner’s ready,” He stated, looking at you annoyed, “Didn’t think you’d want to miss it,”
“Thanks,” You snapped with a smirk, pulling yourself up.
As the three of you began to pile into the dining room, Erin popped her head around the door.
“By the way, Peter’s staying for dinner,”
“What, why?” You asked a bit too quickly.
“Because he came all this way to make my life easier. Least I could do was offer him lunch,” Erin shrugged, “Is that a problem?”
“No!” You insisted.
“Good,” She responded, though her eyes were suspicious, “And besides we have extra thanks to someones over chopping,”
“Well, if someone hadn't been distracting me,” You began before turning into the dining room to see Peter chatting to your Dad and Grandfather.
You both tensed up at the sight at each other momentarily. Everyone began taking their seats as the boys finished setting the table.
“Peter take my seat by Y/N,” Erin offered, pulling out another chair for myself.
“Thank you,” He said graciously before sliding into the seat on your right while your Dad sat on your left at the head of the table as always.
Everyone was still settling so you looked at him pointedly before grinning willing and saying slightly louder, “So Stone you excited about your first Reagan Sunday lunch? Promise we don't bite…well except Danny,”
“You want to start, Y/N!?” Danny retorted quickly taking his seat opposite you.
“I am,” He chuckled, relaxing slightly beside you, “Thanks for inviting me, Boss,”
“Don’t mention it,” Erin waved off.
“Besides it’s been a couple of years since we had a Stone round for lunch,” Your Dad added.
“What do you mean?” You inquired.
“Ben Stone was a regular at Sunday lunch back in the day,” Pop chimed in.
“Back when he was my EDA,” Your Dad smiled, reminiscing.
“Right,” You nodded.
“Thank you by the way for coming to the funeral. I knew it would have meant a lot to him,” Peter thanked, graciously yet again, your eyes meeting for a second as they swept passed you to look at your Dad.
“It was the least I could do,” Your Dad sighed.
“I didn't realise you guys had met before,” You commented.
“I’ve actually met most of you guys before except Danny, Linda, Nicky and the boys, of course” Peter divulged.
“You could have mentioned it,” You suggested, with exaggerated shrugged shoulders.
“Well, you keep me so busy that I don't have time,” He teased.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That I’m always fixing your messes to discuss anything else besides work,” He clarified, sweeping his eyes across the table to see everyone enjoying your display.
“My messes, get you your convictions,” You stated, both of you slipping into your work relationship easily and the teasing quickly followed suit.
“Is it always like this between the two of you?” Jamie asked, interrupting you both.
“Nothing like the relationship between a Detective and his ADA,” Pop grinned, gleefully, causing you to blush slightly.
“Tell me about it,” Danny commented shooting a false smile in Erin’s direction which she rolled her eyes at.
“Are they all like that?” Jamie asked, gesturing to the two of you.
“You would know if you took the Detectives exam,” Danny intervened which led the conversation away from you and Peter.
An argument erupted between Danny and Erin and you took the voice and distraction as an opportunity to speak to Peter.
“Why didn't you text me?” You whispered.
“I didn't even think about that. I didn't think she would invite me in and especially not to dinner,” He responded in a hushed tone that only you could hear after leaning slightly into his side, “I’m sorry,”
“No, it’s okay. I’m just surprised,” You reassured.
“I know you don't want to say anything yet,” He relayed.
“Yeah, it’s just too soon you know,” You confirmed.
“Okay, whatever you want,” He agreed, “I can pretend, we do it at work well enough,”
“Why didn't you tell me that you’d met my Dad and Grandpa before?” You asked.
“I didn't think it would be a big deal. It was only briefly anyway at the funeral and I thought our first real meeting would be when you introduced me to them,” He offered, “I’m sorry it didn't turn out that way,”
“No, it’s good that you get a run-through before the real thing right,” You figured, “It will be less pressure next time or let you know if you want to end it all to avoid ever coming back again. I wouldn't blame you…”
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere…” He insisted.
“What are you to whispering about?” Danny asked, drawing the groups attention back to you.
“I was just trying to save your first impression after that embarrassing display,” You snapped, “We have guests Danny, try and control yourself,”
“I’m so sorry Peter,” Danny apologised with mock sincerity earning a laugh from the table.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve seen worse from another Reagan at this table,” He commented, looking at you.
“You talking about me?” You mumbled, your mouth filled with potatoes.
“Well, I’m definitely not talking about my boss also known as the woman who signs my paycheques,” He laughed.
“Oh, I see how it is,” You commented, folding your arms, instinctively, “Are we talking about the guy on the roof?”
“Yes!”
“What guy on the roof?” Jamie asked which caused Peter to launch into a long story about the time you had an unusual method of obtaining a confession from a suspect.
“I can’t believe you did that!” Linda burst out as the story concluded.
“I know right!” Peter agreed, engaging the whole table with his storytelling, like a true lawyer while you sulked and rolled your eyes.
“You’d think he knows by now not to try and stop me,” You interjected, “And he dangled me off the roof first!”
“Excuse me for trying to stop you from dying by trying that trick again,” He countered.
“You act like it’s a common occurrence,” You retorted.
“Oh, it is!” He insisted, “Let me tell them the story about Y/N and the carjacker,”
“Go ahead,” You encouraged, “They’ll agree with me!”
“Maybe not,” Erin chuckled.
“I will kill you,” You said with dead seriously.
For the rest of the dinner, Peter retold some of your greatest moments, cases and arguments you had had together over the time you had worked together. He always started telling the story but you always butted in along with everyone else in the family. As it wore on the more relaxed everyone was. It felt natural and Peter was a good fit with your family, very much neutral and offering a unique side to Danny and Erin’s sagas. They all seemed to like him and it put you at ease. So much so that you didn't even notice that you were subconsciously leaning closer and closer to him. You rested your elbow and on the back of his chair and often grabbed for his hand to draw his attention or to stop his hand gestures. His hand would also land on your knee occasionally as he spoke, he did it without even thinking. You were hyper-aware that everyone's eyes were on you but you were satisfied that everyone just saw you both as close co-workers, probably friends, even though you clearly argued like an old married couple.
There were no funny looks, suggestions or look so you figured when the dinner ended that you were both in the clear and that they didn't suspect anything more. Everyone scattered again and Peter was invited to stay back for a while. You, on the other hand, headed back to the kitchen alone as it was your turn to do the dishes.
You washed contentedly, unable to wipe the smile from your face when you heard the kitchen door shut and felt strong arms wrap around you.
“Peter!” You gasped, spinning around to face him in concern that someone might walk in after you.
He took the opportunity to grab your face and pull you in into a frenzied, urgent but long kiss before he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours.
“God, I’ve wanted to do that for the past three hours,” He breathed.
“Tell me about it,” You chuckled though your eyes continued to flick between him in the door before kissing his cheek quickly.
“Then kiss me again,” He suggested, pulling you closer.
“One of them could walk in any minute,” You reminded, half-heartedly trying to push yourself out of his grasp.
“They’re busy,” He promised, pressing a hot kiss to the sensitive skin on your neck.
“Peter,” You warned, failing to be stern as you were enjoying it, “It’s a glass window,”
“Okay, we’ll get out of view,” He winked, before casually pushing a pile of napkins onto the floor behind the island counter, “Oops,”
You giggled as you both, dropped to the floor, completely out of view. You smiled at the mischievous look in his eye before kissing him again. Feeling like a teenager again with the threat of being caught hanging over you as you delved your hands through his hair. Though you eventually had to pull away or you knew neither of you would have stopped.
You brushed off your clothes before helping with Peter’s hair. He helped you finish up before you both headed back into the main room where everyone else was. They didn't have time to register you because as soon as you walked in, Danny pulled Peter away, to confirm a story Erin had been telling them while you and Peter had been occupied.
You hung back, unable to hold back your smile as you watched Peter continue to effortless blend and bond with your family. So much so you didn't even notice you Dad sidle up next to you.
“So, you and Peter…” Your Dad began, making you jump before you glanced to your side to see him standing next to you, watching over the rest alongside you, though he was nursing a drink.
“What about me and Peter?” You questioned defensively, yet again, making you cringe internally as you knew if anyone was going to pick up on something between the two of you it would be your Dad.
“Seem to get along really well,” He continued, eyes watching you carefully.
“I guess,” You shrugged, perhaps too nonchalantly.
“He seems nice,” he added.
“Yeah, he is. Some of the time at least,” You confirmed and then added.
“Smart too,”
You nodded.
“And he has a good job,”
“Yep,”
“Gets along with everyone,”
“Looks like it,”
“Treats you well. Clearly respects you and wants to keep you safe,”
“What are you getting at Dad?” You asked, directly.
“Nothing,” He responded, “Just that I’m glad you work with someone like him and he’s obviously lucky to get to work with you every day,”
“Damn straight,”
“You should invite him over for dinner again sometime,” He suggested.
“I will,” You agreed.
“As your boyfriend?” He questioned in the same tone, though you were taken aback.
Maybe you hadn't hidden it as well as you thought.
“Look Dad…” You began though words seemed to fail you as you couldn't think of what to say.
“You don't have to say anything. Not yet at least, I’m pretty sure no one else has guessed. But to me it was obvious. But I just wanted you to know when you’re ready we will be here. If you want to talk about it before then I’m here. And I know that it probably would have been your mother you would have gone to about this stuff but I just wanted to let you know that I am here. If you want,” He reassured.
“I know, Dad,” You smiled, leaning into his side after he wrapped a protective arm around you as you watched Peter happily laugh with your siblings.
“I like him for you,” You Dad finally added.
“You do?” You questioned, looking up at him.
“You sound surprised,” He chuckled.
“He’s a good man. Clearly in love with you. Why wouldn't I approve? Not that you need my approval,” He countered.
“I appreciate it though, Dad. It means a lot!” You grinned before your face fell, as you glanced back at Peter who caught your eyes momentarily and smiled covertly as he could see your Dad was watching too, “I don’t think he’s in love with me though.”
“We disagree on that point then,” He considered.
“We do,” You brushed off.
“You don’t sound so sure, Y/N/N,” He teased, good-naturedly.
“When am I wrong?” You played off, your heart rate accelerating as you let yourself consider the possibility momentarily.
“When am I?”
#peter stone#peter stone imagine#ada peter stone#ada peter stone imagine#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#svu#svu imagine#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#svu fandom#SVU fanfiction#blue bloods fandom#blue bloods fanfiction#SVUxbluebloods#bluebloodsxSVU#Reagan#Jamie Reagan#Erin Reagan#Danny Reagan#Frank Reagan#henry reagan#svubloods#imagine#imagines
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Imagine having a One Night Stand with Peter only to find out he’s the new ADA
(A/N: Editing later so enjoy this long ass mess while you can. It’s 4:00am and I need to sleep. Obvivosuly Peter won. I’m worried that I can do his character well, let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy regardless of how shitty it is)
RATING: Not NSFW but sexual and suggestive throughout
Imagine having a One Night Stand with Peter only to find out he’s the new ADA
"You don't do this often, do you?" You inquired, straightening up and turning to look at him directly.
"What makes you think that?" He countered.
"Just a hunch," You shrugged, walking towards him and leaning casually against the footboard of the bed, that he was still laying in, watching you.
In the moment you had almost forgotten that you were still naked from the waist up. The only thing you were wearing was your underwear with your pants in your hands. You had forgotten about that but it was clear he hadn't. He paused before speaking again, giving you the once over.
"Well um..." He stuttered, gulping as he struggled to avert his gaze from your chest to your eyes, much to your enjoyment, "Not exactly but definitely more recently,"
"And here I thought I was special," You sighed dramatically, faking disappointment before turning away and once again going yo look for yesterday's clothing that were scattered across the floor.
"What no? I just meant..." He began to splutter.
"Relax, I'm just messing with you... " You eased, tossing a smirk in with the sideways glance you gave him as you pulled your pants on before teasingly adding, “It is Peter, right?"
He was sitting up in the bed you had just left. Naked but you could only see his chest as he watched you collect your things and get dressed.
"You didn't seem to forget my name last night," He reminded, a wicked grin on his face before purposely dragging out the next word in the same sultry tone, "Y/N..."
"At least I'm not forgettable," You quipped before finally finding your shirt and bra on the other side of the room.
"Sorry about that," He remarked, still watching you.
"Don't be. Finding your boxers I'm sure will be a much more difficult task," You commented, choosing purposely not to get fully dressed yet.
Unusually, you were actually enjoying the awkward morning after chat this morning. Perhaps because this morning it wasn't that awkward. So even though you knew you had somewhere to be, you dragged it out slightly, teasing him. You figured you would never see him again, so why not have some fun. Plus there was something about him and you knew it. From the second you met him last night, it felt different. It wasn’t your usual haunt, it was a lawyer’s bar after all, but you had been their a few times before. Like usual you sat at the, drank free drinks, watched whatever game played on the screen and waited for whoever was going to take you home for the night. It was all going the same last night, until he walked in and sat in the seat beside you.
You were drawn to him from the very start, though you didn’t show it, and you actually enjoyed the conversation you had. It wasn't useless and empty, just filling time before it was socially acceptable to go back and do what you were both actually interested in. It was entertaining, challenging and flowed naturally. And the result at the end of the night was a natural progression rather than simply want was expected. It’s always fun, but last night…last night you felt alive.And you were willing admit how jaded you were when it came to all this, last night and this morning was surprisingly refreshing. All you knew is that you felt different this morning than any other morning like it previously, in a different apartment with a different person. Instead of wanting it to end, you didn’t want it to end.
“If there anything left of them,” You continued, with a wink, “Sorry about that,”
A comfortable silence fell over you both as you collected your shoes and belt. Still reluctant to put your bra and shirt on as you couldn’t help but like relishing in the fact that he couldn't seem to take his eyes off you. But then you collected yourself, scolding yourself for indulging in such fantasy. You were a one night stand only, a good one for sure, probably the best he’s ever had, but that was definitely all it was. He didn’t want more and neither did you…
“So I should go,” You announced, tossing your shirt and bra back and forth in your hands before glancing at him again.
“You don’t want to stay for breakfast?” He asked, almost nervously but expertly hiding it and if you couldn't read people so well the facade wold have worked.
“Breakfast?” You questioned.
“The meal one eats in the morning. The first one of the day,” He defined, cockily, tilting his head at you.
You rolled your eyes before narrowing them in his direction, “I know what it is, I’m just surprised you asked,”
“Why’s that?” He asked, surprised, folding his arms.
“You know most people pretend to be asleep until the other person leaves,” You commented, walking over to him but hesitating at the foot of the bed.
“I find that hard to believe,” He breathed, his breathing increasing as you drew closer to him.
“Oh?” You entertained, raising an eyebrow as you sat down.
“It’s just that you’re so…” He began but yet again stopping as you leaned closer to him as he did you.
“What?” You prompted, your faces inches away from each other.
“You know,” He smirked.
“You’re not too bad yourself,” You grinned, “Though I admit your right. No one pretends to be asleep when I leave,”
“So what usually happens when you leave?” He continued to inquire.
“They try to make me stay for another round which never works and usually give me their number,” You informed.
“Do you call?”
“Nope,” You smirked, “But very rarely do they ask me to stay breakfast,”
“So will you stay?” He asked.
“I can’t,” You sighed, almost showing your disappointment, “I already have a breakfast date,”
“Oh,” He commented, showing his disappointment clearly, by creating a small increase in operation between you.
“It’s with my big brother,” You confessed, “So you don’t need to worry,”
“I wasn’t worried,” He shrugged, not breaking eye contact with you.
“Hmm,” You nodded, averting your gaze from his and biting your lip.
“So?” He prompted, after another brief and charged silence, your faces still hesitant inches apart from each other.
“So?” You breathed, leaning in even more.
Another silence ensued. You opened your mouth to speak only to stopped by him grabbing the back of your neck and drawing your mouth to his. Your surprise passed in a moment before you reciprocated. Pressing him backwards so his head fell back to the pillow and you shifted so you were sitting on top of him. Disagreeing the shirt and bar you still hadn't put on but had been holding once again the floor. You tucked a stray hair out of your face before parting your lips to allow his tongue access to your mouth. He kissed you long and hard, one hand on your cheek as he traced your cheekbone with his thumb, the other hand sliding down the length of your torso before settling your hip, digging in as the kisses became more fervent.
“I thought you had to leave,” He commented, breathless against her lips as they part momentarily for air.
“He can wait,” You gasp, before grabbing his face and capturing him again.
He pushed back this time, flipping the both of you over, so you were lying underneath him. He kissed you harder and pressed his body into yours, so you could feel how much he wanted you. You moaned into his mouth before hooking your leg around his waist to draw him even closer to you. His hand responded by going to your own about to undue your pants.
Before he could you pulled away reluctantly. Causing him to pull back.
“As much as I want to, I should really get going,” You explained.
“Right,” He nodded, moving so he landed beside you.
“But here, before I go,” You offered, grabbing the notebook the rest on the bedside table and scribbled, “My number,”
“Your number?”
“My number,” You confirmed before leaning close to his ear, “And I never give that away,”
You kissed the space beside his ear before hoping up out of bed, grabbing your belongings and heaving towards the door. You gave him one final glance and smile before saying goodbye. Pulling on your clothes as you walked the corridor and living room towards the front door of his apartment. Letting yourself out and as you shut behind you, you couldn’t help but feel the weighing disappointment of the likelihood of never seeing him again.
Around half an hour later, you were still running late to meet your older brother Jamie in a coffee shop for breakfast, luckily for you, you kept extra clothes in your car and the coffee shop was close to the station which meant you’d only be marginally late for briefing this morning. When you slid into the seat opposite him, in the booth he was occupying, he gave a suspicious glance.
“Thank God,” You breathed, taking a hearty sip of the warm coffee that he had ordered and left waiting for you.
“Good morning to you too,” Jamie responded, taking a sip of his own coffee, watching you with his steady gaze.
“Sorry, Morning,” You offered, setting the cup down.
He said nothing as he narrowed his eyes at you.
“What?” You demanded, before glancing over the menu.
“What, what?” He retorted.
“You’re staring,” You stated.
“I’m observing,” He corrected, before picking the menu and glancing over it himself.
“J, I don’t how many times I have to tell you. No matter how hard you try you’ll never be as great as I am,” You sighed dramatically, “It’s just the sad reality we live in,”
He snorted before rolling his eyes.
“I’m not trying to be you,” He informed, “I’m trying figure out what’s up,”
“Who says somethings up?” You countered.
“Call it intuition,” He shrugged.
“Look at you breaking at those Detective skills Officer Reagan,” You teased, “Practising for the Detective’s exam are we?”
“Well I have been considering it…” He began before stopping himself, “You’re deflecting,”
“Am not,” You argued, indignantly.
“Are too,” He retorted.
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Are you guys ready to order?” The waitress suddenly asked, appearing by your side, causing both of you to look up.
You both quickly ordered breakfast before a tense but normal silence settled between the two of you.
“Am Not,”
“Are too,”
“Am Not,”
“So how was yesterday?” He asked, casually interrupting, though you knew that it was the whole reason why Jamie scheduled your weekly breakfasts on a Thursday morning.
You sighed, leaning back in your chair, almost hoping it would swallow you whole and get you out of the conversation.
“Do we have…” You went to protest.
“Yes,” He interrupted.
“Fine,” You gave in, thinking for a moment before responding, “It was insightful, we laughed, we learned and I came out a better person,”
Jamie face fell into a scowl, “Y/N,”
“It was all right, I guess,” You offered, truthfully, “I don’t know Jamie, how you describe a therapy session? I don’t think you’re supposed to feel better after them or if you do. I haven't experienced that yet,”
“So why are acting so strange?” He questioned, giving you look up and down.
“What do you mean?” You questioned, taking another sip as your respective breakfasts were placed in front of you.
"I don't know. You're face is..." He continued after thanking the waitress, waving his fork at you, as he spoke.
“What?” You demanded, preparing to offended by whatever childish insult that he would conjure up.
“Happy,” He finally breathed, “I don’t know, you just look good,”
“Don’t I always?” You teased, before taking a hearty bite of your breakfast.
“I know you like to think so,” He quipped before speaking sincerely, “But seriously, you look good. Like you did before...”
“Thanks,” You smiled, sadly saving him saying it by interrupting, before looking down at your meal.
“Is that because of your session?” He inquired, gently, you could tell he trying the best he could to balance his sincerity, the concern he had and his need to alleviate some of those concerns.
“God no,” You responded, honestly, “My session is why I went to a bar last night.”
“So why are you so...?” He went ask.
“I may have met someone at said bar,” You admitted, letting out a tense breath while avoiding his gaze, no matter how close you and Jamie were, he was still your older brother at the end of the day.
“Oh,” He nodded understanding immediately, a brief flash of disappointment taking over his features.
“It wasn’t like that,” You corrected, “It was supposed to be but it ended up being different,”
Jamie didn’t approve of your tendency to pick up random guys and have one night stands over traditional dating, but he never imposed his opinion on you and never directly asked you to change. Ultimately respecting that it was your life and your decision. But with that said, he didn’t like it either and you could tell it worried him. And if the roles were reserved, you’d probably be pretty worried too. Perhaps that’s why they had suggested going to talk to someone about everything that was going on, because they were concerned and by they you didn’t mean just Jamie.
You’re the youngest of the Reagan children and the first female Reagan to become a cop. And in spite of being the youngest you’d were always the one that took care of everyone else. You didn’t let them know that of course but it always felt like your natural role. Ever since you were little you would do things for your older siblings and other members of your family that you knew they liked or needed but you were never let them know it was you. Never letting your effortlessly cool, sharp, quick witted and perhaps somewhat emotionless persona falter. Though you think they knew regardless, you kept your attentive, loving and emotive side to yourself for the most part, wrongly believing for a long time and perhaps maybe still that others would see your kindness as weakness. Regardless of this, for the most part you were the baby of the family, carefree, sarcastic, too smart for your own good and extremely determined.
In light of this though, maybe it was so surprising what happened to you. When your mother died despite being the youngest and only being fifteen, you sort of took charge and took care of everyone and everything you physically could. You’d always been able to compartmentalise your feelings, so you ignored your grief and helped everyone else do the same. You rationalised in your head that their grief was more justified than yours, you were the youngest and they had known her longer and consequently would miss her more. Plus, by that time you were the only one left in the house by that time and who would take care of your Dad if not you? The same thing happened when your brother died but by this time, you were older and could do much more. Everyone was once again too distracted by their own grief to notice that you weren’t dealing with yours. You seemed okay so they all wanted to believe that you were and it was only until the fact that you hadn’t dealt with anything became so apparent when they realised that something really serious going on with the youngest Reagan, the carer, the family fixer.
Because that’s the thing about grief, you can compartmentalise, push down and ignore grief but eventually the manifestation ends and it resurfaces. It took years for you to fully resurface but their were a lot of signs along the way. For example after becoming a cop you always gravitated to the departments that were challenging so much so your career as a Rookie, Uniform and as a Detective started in the Gang Unit. Something that was extremely unusual especially as most people much like SVU only lasted two years. You lasted much longer. You threw yourself into it, it was hectic and fast paced and you loved it. It was all consuming to the point that you could forget yourself and your emotions even though you almost related to it all. It gave you an excuse not to date and no one ever questioned you about work, knowing that it was either classified or not something appropriate to discuss over the dinner table or in front of kids.
Your family noticed as the years went on, particularly after Joe’s death that you became increasingly distant. You’d go to Sunday Dinner every week but it was unusual to hear from you in-between and for a while they let themselves believe that it was just work. Then you missed a family dinner, you missed phone calls, avoided them purposely, moved apartments without saying a word though you did that regardless and just hadn’t mentioned it. When it was bad, it was overwhelming, you wanted to see them but you couldn’t. They were reminders, that you still had people who loved you and people who you loved early as well.
You still had people to lose.
You still had people who could leave you.
The biggest indication probably that something wasn’t right? Your love life or perhaps your lack there of. You’d never had a problem getting someone, there was always a lot of interest, much to you older brothers dismay but you could never let yourself truly want them back. Because once again to want someone meant that you could lose them. And that was you biggest fear, losing someone you loved, it had already happened twice and you couldn’t let it happen again. So you isolated yourself because it was easier and maybe because you feared that even if you tried and they promised they wouldn’t they would leave anyone and sometimes perhaps in your darkest moments your truly believed that there was something wrong with you. That you were the problem, you were the reason that no one stuck around.
The fear was perfectly illustrated. You broke up with your high school boyfriend during senior year because you knew he was going to go to College out of state and leave you. After that you continued to date but your relationships were lucky to last a year. After Joe died it went down to two months. And then there was no dating, just random encounters and sex. Telling yourself that was all you had time for but in reality it was all you let yourself have.
It was a year and half ago after you had ignored and avoided your family and your friends for around a month when they did something to get you help. You were two weeks into a big Organised Gang investigation and in the middle of day, Danny marched into your station and demanded to speak to you. Already too embarrassed to say no you obliged and you spoke privately in your Captains office. You knew that he had all intentions of ripping you a new one for ignoring everyone particularly your Grandpa that day but just one look at you made his expression change from one of anger to pure concern and worry.
He bent by your side and asked you when was the last time you ate, went home, did anything besides work. And you couldn’t give him an answer because you couldn’t even remember. Everything after that sort of became a blur. You went off work for around two months and moved back in with your Dad. Began seeing a therapist. You reconnected and more importantly you finally grieved. You let them take care of you like you should have all those years ago.
Over the past year and a half, you’d been a lot better. You felt supported by your family and the fear subsided. You were still seeing a therapist and Jamie had become the designated person in the family who checked in with you about it. Despite everything your family still weren't on talking all the time so it was easier just to speak to Jamie. The biggest take away you got from all of this was that you deserved to be upset as well, it didn’t matter that you were the youngest and had the least amount of time with Joe and your Mom. You still could miss them, they were as much as your Mom and brother and everyone else. Now you understood that maybe you deserved to be more upset because they were taken from you so young. Your mom missed a lot of your firsts way more than anyone else. She got to see everyone grow up but not you.
You were much better now. You eventually went back to work but only after you transferred to a different unit. One that satisfied your desire for challenge but also let you nurture your drive to take care of people. And that’s how you ended up transferring to the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. You felt it on your first day and every day since. It was were you were meant to be. It was your unit and the Squad whom you got on with straight away was your squad. It’s were you belonged. You still went to Therapy, every Wednesday after work. And you had worked through a lot and come a long way.
But dating was still where you still fell short. Both Erin and Linda had tried to set you up multiple times but they never worked out. You like to think that none of them were right for you and when you did find whoever was right for you, you’d know. Like your parents had alway told you, they knew from the second they met. Until then though, you were happy with your colleagues and family. And when you needed it, there was always a random guy to sleep with.
“Different, huh?” Jamie teased.
“I mean, yeah,” You shrugged, wavering under the scrutiny of his gaze do you dipped your head low and raised your cup high as you took a sip of your coffee.
“How so?” He questioned gently, putting his knife and fork down which had been working ever since the waitress had set his plate down.
“Uh…it’s nothing,” You stuttered suddenly nervous, quickly changing the topic of conversation for the rest of the breakfast.
It seemed to have worked, you both chatted idly as you made your way to work. Jamie was an officer at your station which meant you were both heading the same way anyway. Navigating the busy streets with second cups of coffee in your hands.
“So what do you know about the new ADA?” He questioned as you turned the final block to the station.
“Nothing,” You shrugged, “All I know is that he transferred from Chicago and that I don’t like him as much as Barba,”
“You’ve never even met him,” Jamie chuckled, as he took your empty cup and tossed it into the trash along with his.
“Apparently he’s doing the briefing this morning,” You added, “Should be fun,”
“He’s not too bad,” Jamie offered, holding the station door for you as you both stepped inside after walking up the steps.
“And you know this?” You probed.
“Well Erin said she liked him…”
“And we all know Erin’s word is holy,”
“Plus I’ve met him,” He informed, “He’s already been here for a week Y/N. You’re the only person who hasn’t met him,”
“It’s not my fault I was training in Philadelphia when everything went down and he’s been in court for the past couple days as well apparently since I got back,” You returned, holding the next door open with your back.
“I know but I think you’ll like him,” He revealed.
“Well, he won’t like me considering I’m a whole five minutes late to his briefing.” You commented, glancing at your watch.
You continued to chat until you reached the bullpen which is where you parted ways. You began taking off your jacket and scarf as you headed towards the crowd of people, your squad, huddled around the evidence board. An unknown but strangely familiar voice filling the quiet room. Sonny, your partner, noticed you approach. He flashed you a smile before glancing at the clock and rolling his eyes. He then quickly beckoned you closer. You pushed through a couple of uniforms to be by his side. As you got closer, the voice became clearer and even more familiar. And then it dawned on you. Your eyes widened as the figure who had his back to you, turned and confirmed your suspicions. Sonny was about to say something when you locked eyes with the man that was addressing you. The same man you’d spent the night with. Your Peter was the Peter Stone everyone had been telling you about.
Your breath caught in your throat.
“Holy Shit,” Peter breathed, stopping mid sentence.
Everyone turned to look at you. There were a couple sniggers but mostly questioning glances as they looked at both of you in turn. No more than a second past but it felt like forever as you looked into each others eyes, knowing the time that you had spent together in the past twenty four hours were playing in your mind. You were still holding your breath, your chest tightening and your pupils widening.
“…I forgot to give you all my number,” He quickly continued, tearing his eyes away from yours and turning back around.
It was enough for everyone else. The moment passed and no one gave it a second thought. Except Sonny of course who was smirking at you as everyone else disappeared and moved on.
“I saw that,” Sonny teased, jostling your side as you both leaned against the edge of Fin’s desk.
“What? You saw what?” You stuttered, composing yourself and finally looking away to look Sonny in the eye.
“Th way he looked at you.” He winked, “And the way you looked at him,”
“I don’t even know him,” You reminded, regaining composure as you both heading back to your parallel desks, “It meant nothing,”
“You’re sure about that?” He questioned, his eyebrows furrowing at you.
“Positive,” You stated confidently, now safely across the room, tossing a look in his direction, before sitting down, “I’ve never seen him before in my life,”
“I guess you do have that effect on guys,” He shrugged.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he wouldn’t be the first man to walk into this precinct and get awestruck at the sight of you,”
“Stop exaggerating,” You commented, rolling your eyes.
“I swear I’m not. You have that effect on people, usually male,” He continued.
“I can’t help that people find mw irresistible,” You began to joke, spinning your chair jovially like usual.
“Detective Reagan?” A stern voice said from beside you.
You turned your head and looked up to see Peter standing by your side. You shot Sonny a glare as you knew he most seen him approaching as you had been speaking. You gave Peter a once over before standing up to greet him properly. You noted how he wearing the same suit you had seen hung up in his closet. His expression was emotionless and cold but his eyes told a different story. They were alight, just like they had been last night. Looking at you as fondly as they had that morning. He was trying to hide it but you knew.
“That’s me,” You smiled at him, your breath catching in your throat.
“I don’t believe we’ve been formally introduced,” He greeted briskly, sticking his hand out but purposely avoiding your gaze, “I’m SVU new ADA. Peter Stone.”
“Nice to meet you, ADA Stone,” You returned, extra warmly as if to compensate for his lack thereof, shaking his hand and once again feeling the instant intensity you had felt before.
It was unfamiliar but good, amazing even. Enough that you didn’t want to let go.
“I’m Detective Y/N Reagan,”
“Likewise,” He nodded distantly, still not exactly meeting your gaze, “Olivia told me that you had a suspect in the Monroe case,”
“I do,” You confirmed, “He gave me some information yesterday but only if I got him a deal with the DA would he tell me everything he knows,”
“I put him interrogation room 3 for you,” Sonny interjected, pretending to look up from his computer as if he wasn't watching the whole thing.
“Perfect, we’ll see if it’s worth anything,” Peter stated, with a gesture to the right direction, “Shall we?”
You nodded before you walked silently through the bullpen. He waited until you were alone to speak. Just as Sonny had said your suspect was waiting in interrogation room three. You were about to open the door when he stepped into your path.
“We need to talk,” He hissed.
“Then talk,” You encouraged, folding your arms and looking up at him.
“Alone,” He insisted, leaning in closer to you.
“We are,” You reminded, leaning in too, “No one is going to bother us, they’re all busy and will be for a while. Besides how long is this even going to take,”
“You don’t think we have things to discuss?” He questioned, sternly.
“Did I say that?” You asked.
“You didn't tell me you were a cop,” He accused.
“You didn’t tell me you were a lawyer,” You reminded.
“It was a lawyer bar,” He offered.
“So you assumed I was one,” You pointed out.
“I didn’t assume anything. I wasn't thinking. I just…I made a mistake. We made a mistake,”
“A mistake, huh?” You breathed, knowing your disappointment was well hidden.
“We made a mistake,” He concluded, taking in sharp breath, his hands falling to his hips, “You know nothing can happen between us, you know that right? It’s the rules.”
“And you’re such a stickler for the rules,right? I can tell.” You entertained.
“You don’t know me and I don’t know you.” He stated.
“So it’s easy to pretend that we met this morning and not last night, right?” You demanded, your gaze never faltering as you stared him into the eye, taking a step closer to him, “Unless you can’t deal with the fact that you’ve seen me naked because I know I can work with you despite the fact that I’ve had your penis in my mouth,”
He physically tensed up, his eyes immediately darting behind you to make sure that you were still alone.
“I can…” He insisted but his voice wavered.
“You sure counsellor? You don't seem to certain,” You interrogated, taking attest closer, closing the distance between you even further as your hand gripped the door.
“Yes,” He said, putting on a determined performance.
“Then it’s nice to meet you ADA Stone,” You spat, almost spitefully as you swung open the door and stepped inside.
“Detective Reagan,” He whispered before following you in.
And that’s how it was between the two of you for a while. Frosty, distant and usually non-existent, you didn't go out o foyer way to avoid him but it always seemed like he was doing that to you. Avoiding you, and you mostly understood not everyone was good at hiding their emotions as you were but there was still the smallest part of you that hoped that he couldn't be around you because he had felt it too. That instant feeling, we’ll call it chemistry, that your parents always described, that feeling knowing that you had found that one person.
Your person…
But that possibility became bleaker because after he treated you like everyone else on the squad. Like there was nothing between you and there never had been. And in a way it destroyed you for awhile but he was just treating you the way you agreed. So you compartmentalised and tried to move on. But in your experience, anything you pushed won always bubbled over eventually. The next three months thing shifted. The more you worked together, the closer you became. It was just as colleagues at first but it soon turned in to something more. A friendship,
It was even that strange when you thought about it now. You actually had a lot of things in common. Workaholics, cold exteriors but big hearts with big names to live up to. It wasn’t that surprising that you got on so well. You were professional but you messed with each other. You messed with each other but had a healthy respect. It became easy for you both to forget about the actual truth about how you met but it still festered underneath it all. It was the small moments that remind you both of it. After you won a case and everyone was celebrating and you’d catch each others eyes, grinning and the chemistry would overwhelm you both. Whenever you had to track him down at the bar, the same bar. Whenever either of you innocently touch each other, the electricity would shoot through your veins so much that you’d both flinch. Or any small moment between the two of you when you were alone, you could feel it festering still, coming up to surface, closer and closer as time passed.
There were two significant moments that brought you closer. One night at the bar after his sister was killed and you talked once again for hours, just like when you first met, but it was different that you opened to each other. You told him everything and he became the first person outside your family to know you saw a therapist. You tried to comfort him as best as you could, as you had also lost a sibling and a parent just like he had. And he opened up to you. He was hurting and for some reason he trusted you with all of it. Nothing happened at the end but you still felt closer and for the first time since that meeting in the precinct. There was hope. The second time was after you were injured apprehending a suspect and he rushed to the hospital to make sure you were okay. And everyone there could feel it. The concern he felt was more than one feels for a college or a friend or even a close friend. It was more.
You had ignored your feelings for so long by that point that you didn't even see it but it was then Peter knew that you weren't just friends. But he didn't do anything and you had ignored everything for so long that you didn't even realise.
But then it all changed. The surface had broken and the feelings bubbled over. For the both of you, There was nothing special about the day it happened or the circumstances. It was just supposed to be a standard, normal everyday encounter but it turned into so much more.
“Woah,” You let out opening the door to Peter’s office before quickly shutting it again, clutching the door handle.
“Y/N?” He questioned after the door slammed shut.
“Yep?” You shouted through the door.
“What are you doing?” He questioned.
“Well I visiting Erin and I thought I’d say hello but then you were shirtless so I thought…” You rambled incoherently only to stop when he opened the door from the other side.
“That you’d embarrass yourself?” He offered for you.
“I’d give you some privacy to get changed,” You corrected, stepping into his office as he shut the door behind you, “You just caught me by surprise,”
“As did you for me,” He pointed out, smirking at you as he leaned against his desk and you stood nearby the couch arm rest.
“Sorry,” You blushed helplessly, looking away as he had changed from his standard whit suit dress shirt to a soft navy blue sweater that was much more form fitting.
“Don’t be,” He insisted, “It’s not like you like you haven’t seen it before,”
You looked at him stunned momentarily as it was the first time he had ever brought up that night himself and the first time you had thought about it for a while.
“Sorry, I shouldn't have said that,” He quickly apologised as colour flooded to both of your cheeks.
“Don’t be,” You insisted this time, yeah your hand out and brushing your hand against his arm briefly and comfortingly, “We’re both adults and it’s been months since it happened. We’ve both moved on from it,”
“Yeah,” He nodded, averting his gaze.
“Like you said, it was a mistake,” You reminded.
He paused.
“Right?”
“I don’t…” He began before stopping himself and rehearsing, “If that night would never have happened would we be the same?”
“No,” You answered honestly.
“Then I was wrong then. It wasn't a mistake of that night brought us here. It never was. I was wrong then. I see that now,” He corrected.
“Wow…um…” You stuttered nervously, “We’ve never actually talked about that night,”
He nodded, looking at the floor. A silence fell over you both, it was tense and everything was being left unsaid.
“Can I ask something about that night?” You suddenly piped up.
“Of course,”
“Would you have called me?” You asked, simply, gazing at him but biting your lip as you watched him.
“Yes,”
“Because I was telling the truth when I said that I never give my number to anyone. I take theres because there was no uncertainty. I knew nothing would happen but with you…” You continued, not hearing him.
“I said yes, Y/N,” He repeated, even louder.
“Oh,” You let out stopping yourself, digesting everything, “How can you be sure…”
“You know me quite well, don’t you?” More than most?” He asked, interrupting you.
You nodded.
“You know I’m organised and I never forget a commitment,”
You nodded again.
“Well, heres something you don't know. I put reminders on my phone sometimes for important things even though I don't forget. Just in case,” He explained as he pulled out his phone.
“Okay…” You persisted.
“I’ve been putting off the same reminder since the day you gave me your number,” He confessed showing you the screen.
The reminder simply read: ‘Call Y/N’
“I didn't want to forget,” He admitted, drawing closer and closer to you until your bodies were only inches apart.
You breathed heavily as you looked up at him, your chest heaving.
“I still don’t want to forget,” He continued, “The way you made me feel. The way you still make me feel. It was more than just sex for me.”
“For me too,” You confessed.
“What?”
“I walked into that bar just wanting what I always wanted. But I left with something more. I don't talk to my one night stands for five hours before sleeping with them. You were different and it felt right for the first time. I felt right. It all made sense. And I haven't wanted anyone else since,”
“So you haven’t…?” He asked.
“Not since you. I didn't need too. You’re the only one I wanted. No one else…,” You explained.
“I want you too,” He said.
“What?”
“I want you too,” He repeated, adamantly this time, sure of himself.
Confident.
And with that he closed the distance, capturing you in an intense kiss. His hands going to your face as he pulled your lips to his. It was hungry and passionate, tantalising, leaving you dizzy as it went on, never seeming to end and you didn't want it to. Your hands ran through his hair as he captured your lip in-between his teeth.
“But I thought…” You began as soon as pulled away for air.
“I don’t care anymore,” He sighed, leaning his forehead against yours, leading you backwards until the back of your knees hit the front of his desk.
He placed a hand on each side of you, keeping you there as you looked up at him.
“You’re worth breaking the rules for,” He murmured against your lips before kissing you again, pressing his body into yours as your legs spread slightly so he was in-between them and you wrapped them around his waist.
“Are you sure?” You questioned, thinking about all the things he knew about you, how broken you were. All your issues, all your problems, everything. You needed to be sure he wasn't going to leave you.
“More than anything else,” He reassured, the look in your eyes all he needed to know, “I’m just as broken you know. I don't plan on leaving you,”
“How can you be sure?” You inquired, your limbs still entangled together as you kissed in-between every sentence of conversation.
“It’s like you said when I’m with you all the stories make sense,” He breathed breathlessly in a low murmur into your ear before returning to kissing your neck hungrily, slipping further down your throat each time.
“I know what you mean,” You let out, your hands gripping the edge of the desk as he pressed his body more and more into yours, “It’s that thing. It’s chemistry,”
“It’s more than that now,” He whispered, spinning you both round and knocking over the things on his desk in process, “I don't just want sex with you Y/N. And I don't want just a friendship either. I want you. All of you.”
“What does that mean?” You asked.
“You already now but right now all I want…” He responded frantically and you could feel why, before he picked you up and sat you down on the desk, encouraging you to lay down on it.
“To have sex with me on your desk?” You teased, obliging happily and laying down as he climbed on top of you.
“No,” He whispered into your ear making you shiver as he began to unbutton his shirt of top of you, “I want to make love to you on my desk,”
#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#svu#svu imagine#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#peter stone#peter stone imagine#ada peter stone#ada peter stone imagine#svu x blue bloods#blue bloods x svu#SVUxbluebloods#Reagan#Jamie Reagan
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Me reading the planned ending I had for The People Erika Left Behind
#the people erika left behind#Tpelb#law and order special victims unit#Blue Bloods#svuxbluebloods#What was i thinking?#Who wrote this?#A monster#Im going to have redo my plan#Prep for this series is going great guys#🙃🙃🙃#kill me 🙃🙃🙃
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Imagine Jamie proposing to you
(A/N: Sorry for my flakiness. I hope you enjoy!)
Continuation of these Imagines HERE and HERE
Imagine Jamie proposing to you
“Hello?” You asked tentatively down the line, your face screwed up in discontent.
You had tried to let the call go but you couldn’t answer it. It was Jamie after all. In the brief seconds, you waited for his response, you're cursed at yourself for giving in. You knew he wouldn’t be happy.
“Y/N!” He sighed, relief in his hushed whisper as you were officially a good hour late, “Where are you?”
You looked around with pout before awkwardly offering, “The car…?”
“Is it driving to our place?” He probed.
“No…” You dragged out honestly thought it was reluctant.
“Why not?” He let out, you could sense the frustration down the line.
You could practically imagine him squeezing the bridge of his nose.
“Would you believe me if I said I was stuck in traffic,” You offered reasonably, looking at the empty road ahead of you.
“No,” He countered simply, detecting your deception.
“Why not? It’s a perfectly reasonable excuse considering the city we live in,” You reminded, logically.
“Where are you, Y/N?” He sighed and asked once again.
You couldn’t stall him any longer. You knew that he was stalling everyone there, waiting for you to arrive.
“I’m outside,” You finally confessed.
“What?” He said in surprise.
“I’m outside. I have been for fifteen minutes,” You elaborated, angling yourself so you looked up at your apartment block and more importantly your apartment window.
“What are you doing outside?” He whispered, obviously not wanting everyone to hear.
“Sitting and breathing mostly,” You admitted, “I’m just sitting in my car, feeling guilty”
“I’ll be down in a minute,” He said immediately, ending the call so you didn’t have time to argue.
As promised in about a minute. You saw Jamie jog out the building and then peer at all the nearby car, looking for yours before finally locking eyes with you. He sped over and slid into the seat next to you as soon as you unlocked the door.
“Hi,” You let out after a silence.
“Y/N…” He started again.
“I don’t want to go in,” You interrupted.
“Why?” He probed.
“You know, why.” You reminded.
“I know you think…” He began.
“I don’t think. I know.” You interrupted yet again, leaning your forehead on your steering wheel.
Jamie put his hand on your back and rubbed it comfortingly.
“They’ve already started haven’t they?” You asked, turning so you could face him and rest your head.
“They may have said a few things…” He admitted, “But that’s only because they want the best for you,”
“Why do you give them that much credit?” You asked.
“Someone has too,” He smirked, “But also because unlike you I listen to what they say. And I don’t know how many times I’ve told you this,”
“So it’s all in my head?” You asked.
“No,” He smiled, “You're just a little biased.”
“They have been better,” You gave in, “Because of you mostly.”
“You can’t give me all the credit,” He insisted, “You’ve really been trying lately. I’m really proud of you,”
“At least someone is,” You scoffed.
Jamie’s hand found it’s way to your cheek and he stroked it gently. You sat in silence for a few moments. Your eyes locked. And in that moment everything seemed less scary. Jamie always had that effect on you. You could conquer anything with him by your side. Even a party with your family and his.
You had also just passed your three year anniversary of being together. Earlier this week you had just moved into your new apartment. It wasn’t your first apartment together by any means but Jamie had insisted he wanted to gather both your families together for a housewarming party but not with any of your friends which you found strange. They were a good buffer between you and your parents.
Things between you and your parents had slowly but steadily improved since you and Jamie started dating. They had fallen in love with Jamie and he had been brokering some sort of understanding between you and your family. He was good at it probably because he was so close to his own. And though he didn’t always understand he had always tried to make things better, encourage you to step outside your comfort zone.
He was a natural with people, he could talk to anyone while you were the complete opposite. You found it hard to connect to people, probably because of how you grew up. But Jamie just understood you and you connected really easily with his family. It was a surprise but it felt right. Though that was hard to accept in beginning. The feeling of being accepted by a large group of people without any real effort. Like a family, you suppose.
You unbuckled your seatbelt and wrapped your arms around Jamie. Burying your face in his chest. Everyone was still waiting for you. The both of you technically but especially you as you had yet to make an appearance.
“Do we have to go in?” You pouted, positioning yourself so your face was only inches away from his own.
“It’s our housewarming party!” He reminded.
“Why are we doing this again?” You sighed.
“Because we bought a new apartment,” He reminded yet again.
“We didn’t do this for the first apartment we bought so why…?” You went to ask.
“Because it’s important to me,” He interrupted to state, stroking your cheek.
“Fine,” You accepted, unable to argue with that, kissing him again briefly before muttering against his lips, “I just don’t understand why it is,”
“You will soon,” He smirked, before opening the door, getting out and waiting for you to follow.
Still confused you got out the car and headed upstairs. The party was in full swing which would be given considering it was a good hour after the party was supposed to start. You sucked in a breath and Jamie squeezed your hand before everyone swarmed you. Everyone seemed so happy to see you. Like they had been waiting for you, which they probably were considering it was your housewarming party. The air was a buzz. A hidden excitement in everyone's undertones which you couldn’t quite place. Even your parents, surprisingly. They gave you a hug and even told you how much they liked your new place. Though they had some suggestions, of course, you remembered what Jamie had said.
Plus regardless of what they said. You knew this was going to be the place you would call home for a very long time. It was perfect and you could picture your life with Jamie here. There was a big kitchen and dining room area so you could house both your equally large families. There was an office big enough so that both you and Jamie could share for those long paperwork nights together. And there was a small spare bedroom, for whatever happens. But you knew whatever does, you and Jamie will be going through it together. He was your everything, mind, body, and soul. He was your future and you couldn’t wait for it to start.
As soon as you slipped away from your parents grasp. You ran into your brother Sonny.
“And where have you been?” He inquired immediately, neglecting pleasantries, and engulfing you in a hug.
“Freaking out in my car,” You admitted, taking a place beside him, facing the party.
“They haven’t been too bad,” He reassured.
“Yet,” Yous sighed, tossing your parents a nervous glance.
“Have some faith. Tonight’s going to be a good night,” He grinned.
“And how do you know that?” You countered.
“I know a lot of things you don’t,” He replied.
“My GPA would beg to differ,” You quipped.
“You’ll see,” He smiled before heading over to talk to Jamie’s brother Danny.
You continued to mingle for a while until you finally sidelined by Jamie’s Dad, Commissioner Reagan. Though you called him Frank, well he insisted you call him that. You usually called him Commissioner but you were working on it.
“You look like you need a break,” He commented, handing you a water and pulling you to the window so you could overlook the city.
“Thanks,” You smiled, taking a deep breath, averting your gaze and taking a sip.
There was a comfortable silence for you both. Out of all the members of Jamie’s family, his Dad was easily your secret favorite. He was quite easy to talk to despite his initial intimidating exterior. You boned over a mutual love of botany and your relationship had only developed from there. You very much saw him as a Father figure and you hope that he saw you as a daughter. He treated you just like he did Erin and Linda. Jamie insisted that you were his favorite child but you could never believe that.
“I think you think too much.” He suddenly said, already knowing what you were thinking about.
You snorted and looked at your feet, “Tell me about it,”
“You need to stop worrying about what they think,” He insisted,
“Because regardless of what they think, it shouldn’t take away from how you feel,”
“But they keep on saying things about this apartment, you know?” You sighed, still not meeting his gaze, “And I…”
“And you what…?” He probed.
“Just wish for once they would support me without having to critique it first,” You finished.
“Tell me are the things they are saying things you have noticed before they said it?” He asked.
“No,” You answered, thinking back to you mothers comment about your drapes.
“Then why worry it about it now?” He smiled.
“Because they mentioned it.” You persisted.
“People will always have something to say. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative but regardless of what they say about you or something else. Take what they say for what it is. An opinion. Not a fact. What they say shouldn’t take away from how you feel,” He explained, “Always do what you feel is right regardless of what anyone else thinks or says,”
“Sometimes it’s hard to ignore though,” You countered, “Even with this place. I couldn’t stop thinking about what everyone else would think of it before getting it, especially my parents.”
“Do you like it?” He asked.
“Me? I love it of course.” You stated.
“Why?” He inquired.
“Because whenever I’m here I feel like I’m at home. I can just picture my future with Jamie here perfectly unlike at our old place. It just wasn’t us but here. This place is us.” You answered.
And in that moment, you figured it all out. You finally understood why everyone was acting so strange. Frank noticed for shift and even though he acknowledged it he didn’t say a word directly about it. Ignoring it practically.
“Then that’s all that matters,” He reassured.
“You’re right,” You chuckled
“I get that a lot,” He returned.
“What if something goes wrong? What if they are right? You know about the drapes and stuff?” You asked all of a sudden.
“Don’t be afraid to be afraid, Y/N. Sometimes you can’t stop the things that happen nor can you predict everything that you will. You just have to have some faith. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and take the risk.” He advised, “ And keep the drapes.”
“Thank you,” You said as you hugged him tightly.
He didn't respond, he just gave you a squeeze. An unusual glint in his eye.
“Are you okay?” You inquired, tilting your head at him, studying his expression.
“Very much so and I have a feeling that my mood will only improve,” He replied.
“And why is that?” You asked inquisitively.
Frank didn’t respond. He just gestured to behind you. You span around quickly your hair and the hem of your dress flying. Jamie was tapping his glass as everyone's eyes fell on him. You couldn’t help but smile at his grinning face. He really was excited about tonight though you did notice that his hand was shaking slightly as if he was waiting for something in eager anticipation.
“Hi everyone. I just wanted to thank everyone for coming to celebrate with Y/N and me in our new apartment. We’re so excited to share our new home with all the people who are the most important to us.” He began, earning a cheer so he had to pause.
“This is a really special place for Y/N and I. For many reasons. The first being it’s the first apartment we’ve had together that we both actually like. The second being it’s the first apartment that didn’t sustain any lifelong damage because of Y/N’s cooking. But the most important reason is a reason Y/N doesn’t even know about yet, which is surprising because if you know anything about Y/N. You know that she knows everything and that’s she's usually right. Empathises on the usual.” He continued, looking his grinning eyes with your confused eyes.
The crowd seemed to separate with a laugh at his comment, so Jamie had a clear walkway towards you. He took a step towards you.
“But Y/N is so many things besides smart. She’s kind and caring and she has the ability to make anyone feel comfortable. She’s therapy for the soul. I can still remember from the second I met her how easy it was to talk to her. I’ve never felt nor stopped feeling so alive, loveso connected, so present then I have since the moment I met her. No matter where we are whenever I’m with her. She makes me feel like I’m at home and that lovedand appreciated. She makes me believe in myself and she’s never let me think that I couldn’t do anything I put my mind to. She believed in me and made me believe in myself. She’s the greatest person I know, the greatest person most people know. And I know she doesn’t always believe it but I’ll spend the rest of my life reminding her.” He continued, walking towards you before stopping in front of you.
“So I figured what better place to ask the girl who makes me feel at home whenever I’m with her the most important question I’ll ever ask anybody in my whole life than the place that I hope we’ll call home for a very long time…” He smiled, before dropping on one knee and pulling a small box from his pocket.
You gasped in shock and awe, your hand flying to your mouth as he presented the box to you and opened it. Revealing his mother ring.
“Y/N, will you marry me?” He asked, looking up excitedly and expectantly at you.
You closed your eyes, took a deep breath and smiled.
“Yes,” You said simply, opening your eyes to cheers and applause.
Jamie jumped up after sliding the ring on your finger. His lips found yours as his arms wrapped around you and dipped you. You waited for Jamie to open his eyes so you could smile at him.
“I love you so much,” You whispered, tears in your eyes.
“I love you too,” He grinned, wiping away your spilling tears with his thumb.
“To think I almost ruined tonight by being too scared to come in,” You commented.
“You couldn’t ever ruin anything, Y/N. You only ever make things better.”
#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#Jamie Reagan#jamie reagan imagine#officer jamie reagan#officer jamie reagan imagine#sonny carisi#Sonny Carisi is coming up#carisi#imagine#SVUxbluebloods#bluebloodsxSVU#imagines#svubloods
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Imagine your sister Erin finding out that you’re dating Sonny
(A/N: Dedicated to all those who supported and waited patiently. You know who you are and I hope you enjoy)
Continuation of this imagine HERE
Imagine your sister Erin finding out that you’re dating Sonny
“Morning,” Sonny greeted with a grin as you sleepily emerged from the bedroom.
Sonny had been humming and dancing in your kitchen while you assumed making the two of your breakfast before he noticed you.
“Eh,” You managed to reply as you stretched and yawned, before stopping and tilting your head at him.
“What?” Sonny questioned, noticing your confused expression.
“Are you naked under that apron?” You quizzed, looking at him intently still tilting your head to the side to get a better a view.
“Yeah,” He admitted reluctantly with a shy chuckle as he blushed, “I couldn’t find my boxers,”
“Sonny, you have a whole drawer filled with clothes here and since the primary piece of clothing you wear here is underwear I’m assuming you got a couple in your drawer,” You pointed out, holding your arms across your chest.
“Well, the truth is…” He gave in and admitted, “This was supposed to be a breakfast in bed thing and I knew you would prefer if I wasn’t wearing anything,”
“Wow, you really do know me well,” You nodded, “But I’m going to need you to take that off,”
“Seriously? Now?” He questioned surprised.
“No, not of that,” You defied, “But probably later. You have to take it off because it just doesn’t seem sanitary to me. I wear that when I cook and more importantly so do my nephews when they come over.”
“You don’t cook,” He reminded.
“Sonny,” You persisted.
“You have to find my boxers first,” He insisted.
“Okay, where are they?” You asked, turning around and looking around at the living room.
“Well, where did you throw them last night?” He countered.
All you did was smirk as you searched. You found them quite quickly and headed back into the kitchen.
“Here,” You said, tossing them at him.
“Where were they?” He inquired.
“Couch cushions,” You shrugged.
“Alright, turn around,” He said.
“What why?” You quizzed, puzzled.
“Privacy,” He stated.
“Do I need to remind you what we did last night?” You asked, “And every other night for the past eight months,”
“Just do it,” He insisted.
“Fine,” You gave in.
“Fantastic,” He commented.
“What is?” You questioned.
“The view,” He teased.
You looked down at yourself and remembered that you yourself were only wearing a short pajama top and underwear that in your opinion made your rear look fantastic. You spun back around and frowned in response to his wink as he continued to make breakfast after quickly washing his hands once again. Guess, he knew by now that you would call him out for it if he didn’t
“You’re so annoying,” You commented, walking towards him.
“Guilty,” He smirked.
“Mmm,” You agreed as you wrapped your arms around his waist as he continued to fry his eggs.
“What are you doing?” Sonny questioned as you maneuvered yourself around his body so you were wrapped around his front, causing him to take a step back from the stove top.
You just shrugged with a pout before resting your head on his chest as you continued to cling onto him.
“Whose being annoying now?” He posed out loud.
You shrugged once again, “I like being close to you,”
“I do too but my eggs are going to burn,” He reminded, stomping his foot lightly in feeble protest but you knew he liked it secretly as his arm was already loosely wrapped around you as he tried to reach for the stove top.
“Let them,” You said before leaning up and kissing him.
Sonny couldn’t resist going along with it. His hands stopped reaching and wrapped around you instead. Leaning in as passionately as you were.
“Seriously Y/N,” He said against your lips but making no attempts to stop what was happening, “They are going to burn,”
“Think of it as burning calories,” You quipped also not stopping as your hands slid down his back.
“No, I can’t deal with the apartment burning down,” He said breathlessly pulling away for few seconds to turn off the gas, “What about breakfast?”
“How about we go out for brunch instead?” You suggested, resting your chin on his chest.
“Works for me,” He agreed, before kissing you again but without the added worry of burning down the apartment he was much more into it.
He lifted you up effortlessly on the countertop without falling out of passion or sync. His hands fell to your thighs as you wrapped your legs around his waist. Sonny began to trail kisses down your face to your neck only to be interrupted by knocking on the door.
“They’ll go away,” You insisted, your hands in Sonny’s hair before you began kissing his neck.
Sonny nodded and went to go again before being interrupted once again by the knocking.
“You should answer it,” He commented.
“Why me?” You pouted.
“It’s your apartment,” He reminded.
“It is isn’t it?” You sighed, “Why is someone knocking on my door?”
“Because they are here to see you?” Sonny offered, confused.
“But when someone is here to see me, my door man calls beforehand to let me know who it is,” You said.
“He doesn’t do that with me,” Sonny mentioned, “I knock,”
“Because he knows who you are,” You said, “So that means…”
“It’s someone you know?” He continued on your behalf.
“More like someone I’m related to. All my friends know not visit me this early,” You commented.
“It’s 10:30,” He said.
You just rolled your eyes as you jumped off the counter and headed toward the door. Sonny waited out the counter and watched. You peered through the peephole. It was your sister Erin standing, waiting impatiently for you to open the door. You watched for a mere second but you got the feeling that she knew you were there, watching.
“Go hide,” You hissed, turning around to face Sonny.
“Who is it?” He asked.
“Erin,” You continued to whisper.
“Seriously?” He questioned.
“No, I’m lying because I’d rather be doing this instead of making out with you,” You said sarcastically.
“Here,” He said, tossing you a light dressing gown so you could cover up as much as possible.
“Thanks,” You said sincerely, feeling bad.
“All right, I’m going,” He gave in, “Let me know when she’s gone,”
You sighed sympathetically as you watched him disappear into your room. He had made it clear to you his feelings about your insistence on keeping your relationship a secret from your family especially for such a long time.
Eight months…
It was especially a long time for you. None of your relationships had ever lasted this long. You had six months once relationship, only once, and after that, you vowed never to let it get to that stage ever again but then you met Sonny and then that all changed.
He made you believe again. That you could fall in love. That you deserved to fall in love and to be happy.
It wasn’t an intentional thing. You falling for Sonny or Sonny falling for you for that matter. It definitely wasn’t. Sonny was hardly your classic type. Meaning that every boyfriend you had had before Sonny wasn't as straight edge. Sonny was sweet and open while all your other boyfriends were the tall dark and brooding types. When you first met sure you liked him but not in that way. You liked that he was a good cop and had your back as any good partner should. You didn’t think much of it but then you got to know him. He wasn’t like the partners you had before, you trusted him more than you should trust a colleague. He knew everything about you and it felt natural to you to tell him. You weren’t apprehensive as you typically were, it was simple and effortless. You tried to fight the romantic feelings that you were beginning to feel around about a year ago now but as Sonny has taught you: you can’t fight destiny. It was his humor that got you. While your own was more sarcastic and formulaic his was almost always accidental and honestly stupid. You hated how funny you how it as you loved to claim that your own humor was smarter. He never failed to make you smile and when you were with him, you were always laughing. It’s why you loved him so much.
Sonny asked you out finally after around a year of being partners and three months of tiptoeing around your feelings for each other he finally asked you out albeit after being prompted. It leads to a date which leads in turn to an eventful night. And you’d been together ever since which was eight months. It wasn’t the traditional sort of relationship as you were already in a relationship so there wasn’t an awkward get to know stage you just went into all the fun stuff immediately. It was perfect. At this point, Sonny was basically living at your apartment but neither of you asked if you wanted to move in, maybe it was too soon. Or maybe because you had to hit another milestone before then and that milestone was hard for you.
You loved everything about Sonny and sure that he felt the same way, well that’s what he says, but you know that there was one thing that he wished was different. He wished that you would introduce him as your boyfriend to your family. It wasn’t like your relationship was a secret, everyone else you knew about it. It hadn’t gotten back to your family because you ran in different circles to them. It was an open secret that no one discussed at work. You had met his family prior as his partner and now as his girlfriend. He had met most of your family as well but in the partner capacity. He wanted you to introduce him as your boyfriend but understand why you were apprehensive about it all. Plus you may have told a small lie about your family having a rule that you couldn’t bring anyone to family dinner unless you’d been dating ten months. It was something you regretted and had come up with in the moment the night after you went to meet his family.
Your last boyfriend had been the first boyfriend you’d ever introduced to you family formally and it had ended pretty badly and you were devastated. You hated having to explain to all your family why and what happened. It was embarrassing and you vowed on never doing it again but that was before you met Sonny. Now you were questioning that decision but staying firm on your decision because you were scared, you just didn't want to admit it.
“Do you know what time it is?” You demanded as you opened the door to reveal an impatient and smirking Erin in your doorway.
“It’s 10:30,” She said, walking into your apartment uninvited.
“Come on in,” You said sarcastically.
She just turned and smirked at you once again.
“Why are you here Erin?” You questioned.
“Can’t I visit my sister?” She countered.
“Not on a Sunday morning,” You commented, “Why are you here?”
“I need to borrow your blender,” She stated, “Nicky and I wanted to make smoothies,”
“No please,” You teased, heading to your cupboard.
“Everything that is yours is also mine,” She smirked, “I thought I was going to have to use my spare key in all honesty,”
“Why would you think that?” You countered.
“Well, it was Saturday night last night. I assumed you’d be out still or sleeping off a hangover so you wouldn’t have wanted to get up and answer the door,” She replied.
“It may surprise you to learn that I don’t have crazy nights every weekend,” You mentioned.
“So what did you do last night if you weren't having a crazy night out?” She asked.
“I just stayed in,” You responded, not lying as you had done that just with Sonny.
“By yourself?” She questioned.
“Who would I spend it with?” You deflected, trying hard not to lie.
“A friend possible…” She suggested playfully, “Or maybe even your secret boyfriend,”
“I don’t have a secret boyfriend,” You said tactfully.
“Well, then do you have a boyfriend?” She clarified.
“Why do you think I have one?” You countered, narrowing your eyes at him.
“Many reasons,” She teased, “The main one right now being that hickey on your neck,”
Your hand quickly flew up to your neck in an attempt to cover it.
“Other side,” She smiled.
“What’s your issue, Erin?” You inquired.
“What’s yours?” She countered, “Why can’t you tell me who you are dating?”
“I’m not telling you,” You offered thoughtlessly.
“Why can’t you tell me?” She asked, “Is he a criminal?”
“No, of course not. Definitely not! He’s pretty much the opposite in fact,” You spluttered, “Why do you think I’m dating someone?”
“Sisterly instinct,” She offered before admitting, “I know you Y/N and I know when you're dating someone…when you’re in love,”
“How?” You probed.
“I’ve seen you in love before,” She chuckled, “But this one is different isn’t it? This one is special I can see it in your eyes,”
“Not that I’m admitting anything,” You cautioned, “But who do you think it is?”
“If you aren’t sharing then neither am I,” She smiled, getting up, “The blender,”
“Here,” You said, walking over and passing it to her.
In that moment a crash came from your bedroom.
“What was that?” Erin smirked.
“I’m being burgled,” You said instinctually and stupidly for that matter.
She raised her eyebrows.
“It's my cat,” You joked, “My…ghost,”
“Tell him I said Hi,” She said smugly before walking out the apartment, “See you later,”
You waited until the door sounded behind her before collapsing into a nearby seat. Your bedroom door crept open.
“Sorry,” Sonny said.
“You couldn’t handle five minutes of being quiet?” You teased.
“Clearly not,” He chuckled before asking, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” You reassured, “I just didn’t think that she was on to us,”
“On to us?” Sonny questioned, “You make it sound like we are doing something bad,”
“No, I meant that I didn’t think she knew I was dating someone,” You corrected.
“Well, it’s not like it’s a secret, right?” He asked, studying you intently.
“Sort of,” You confessed reluctantly.
“What?” He asked.
“So maybe I didn’t tell them I was dating someone,” You admitted.
“I thought you did,” Sonny sighed, “I thought you just didn’t say who you were dating.”
“I didn’t tell them that either,” You said.
“Is there anything else you’ve lied about?” He questioned, his voice harsher.
“My family also don’t have a ten-month rule,” You breathed.
“You’re kidding right?” He said.
You shook your head, not looking at him.
“Sonny…” You want to say.
“So you lied to me?” He inquired.
You bit your lip in anguish.
“When were you planning on telling them about me? Us?” He demanded.
“At ten months,” You offered unconvincingly.
“Unbelievable,” Sonny commented, throwing his hands up in the air and walking away from you.
“Sonny,” You repeated, getting up.
“Why can’t you tell them Y/N? Honestly, why can’t you tell them about us?” He interrupted.
“I’m scared…” You began.
“Guess what Y/N relationships are scary. They’re essentially one massive risk but you know what usually when you’re in it with the right person they don’t seem less scary. Well, at least it’s what it’s like for me but now I don’t know if we are on the same page,” He said solemnly.
“That’s not it…” You began to argue.
“Y/N, I’m in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I don’t know if you want the same. I was willing to wait for Y/N but even I’m not going to wait forever for you to be ready. You either think that this relationship is going somewhere or you don’t think it is and it's becoming clear to me how you really feel. I want you in my life Y/N but you keep on giving me the impression that you don’t want me in yours well at least not all part of it.” He continued.
“Can I explain?” You pleaded.
“Not yet,” He sighed, “I need sometimes…so I’m going to go for a bit,”
“Sonny,” You called as he headed into your bedroom your assuming to get dressed.
“I’ll call you later,” He smiled sadly re-emerging after a minute, pulling his pants up.
He couldn’t help but kiss your cheek as he left but he didn’t let you hold it. It was quick and almost impersonal, sort of like a transaction. You watched speechless as he walked out and shut the door.
You felt so guilty.
You knew you shouldn’t have lied to him. You knew it but you just couldn’t help it. The truth was embarrassing and childish. You didn’t want to admit that. You just hated the feeling the way you did because you knew he wouldn’t do what you were scared of.
For the first time in months, you cried and it wasn’t even Sonny’s fault. It was your own. You eventually got yourself together and headed down to your Dad’s house for Sunday lunch. Alone as per usual and usually felt relieved going up by yourself but today you just felt lonely. Maybe because you didn’t get to say goodbye.
You put your bravest face on when you got there not letting even a hint of your current emotional state to be seen. It wasn’t too hard this time anyway, everyone was preoccupied with some drama between Danny and Jamie. So much so that they didn’t even notice you and your acting but one person did of course but that was only because she had kept a steady eye on you throughout the whole afternoon.
She finally confronted you while you were washing dishes alone in the kitchen.
“What’s wrong Y/N?” Erin asked tentatively, coming up from behind you suddenly.
“Nothing, why would anything be wrong?” You said quickly and reassuringly, wiping your face.
“Because you’re upset,” she noted.
“I am,” You insisted.
“Just like you aren’t in a relationship?” She countered.
“Can you just drop it, Erin?” You demanded, you words coming out harsher than you had intended due to your state.
“You guys had an argument didn’t you?” She questioned, studying you closely.
“Erin,” You said again.
“Come on Y/N. Can you just admit it so we can talk about what’s wrong?” She sighed sympathy but impatient all the same.
It was exhausting keeping things from your older sister. She would never stop asking until you told her what she wanted to know. She was a lawyer after all.
You tensed before releasing again.
“Alright, fine,” You gave in, “I’m dating someone,”
“I knew it!” She exclaimed.
“How?” You questioned.
“I know you,” She repeated smiling before her smile fell as she remembered the current situation, “So what happened?”
“Nothing until you came,” You commented bitterly.
“Are you really blaming me?” She asked.
“No,” You sighed, “It’s mine,”
“Come with me,” She insisted, turning the faucet off for you and grabbing your hand so she could pull you along.
She took to the same place you both always went when you were having the heart to hearts. Which wasn’t often but it always did help. It was the swinging bench on your Dad’s front porch. You had fond memories of sipping cocoa with your Mom and Erin in the evenings as you just talked mostly about the fact you were outnumbered by males.
“You can’t lie to me here,” She reminded as you both sat down.
“You’re right,” You confirmed, bitterly.
“So…spill,” She insisted.
“You sound like a teenager,” You commented.
“I live with one what’s your excuse?” She teased.
“I was one not so long ago,” You reminded, “Which we all know is something you can’t say,”
“I’m going to ignore that because you’re upset,” She sighed followed by an encouraged hand gesture.
With a dramatic sigh, you told her everything that had happened and why it had happened.
“I don’t understand,” Erin said as you finished.
“What is there not to understand?” You inquired.
“Why?” She revealed, “Why did you do it? Why did you lie? I know our family are intense but it’s not like we wouldn’t have supported you,”
“I know it’s more me than you guys,” You agreed, “I’m just scared.”
“Of what?” She asked.
“Of screwing up,” You finally confessed, “We all know that I’m the screw-up around here. I mess up everything. Take a look at my past relationships as examples. I mess up good things and I’m so scared of messing this up.”
“You really like this guy don’t you?” She observed.
“More anything,” You admitted, “Everything was going so well and I’m just worried that I’m going to introduce him to you guys and then I’m going to do something stupid and then I’m going to be heartbroken again and then I’m also going to have to deal will all of you guys pity,”
“It’s not pity,” Erin corrected, “It’s sympathy, empathy. We love you Y/N. We just want you to be happy!”
“I just hate that feeling,” You commented.
“And you aren’t a screw-up either,” She added.
“Please,” You played off.
“How do you think you’ll mess things up?” She inquired gently.
“I’ll figure out a way,” You chuckled dryly, “I always do,”
“Do you love him?”
“I do,”
“Does he love you?” She inquired.
“I think so,” You played off, not wanting to dwell.
“Y/N…” She probed.
“Yes, he does,” You corrected.
“Then tell him the truth Y/N,” She said.
“What am I supposed to say? I’m sorry for lying to you and I’m sorry for not telling my family about you because I’m so scared of screwing it up so I can’t introduce you to my family because that’s a change and I'm scared dog things changing. Because when things change they can also end. And I really don’t want things to end. Not ever, not until it has too! I just want to spend the rest of my life you and I don’t want how I feel about you to ever change or how our relationship is now to change. Is that what you want me to say?” You demanded.
“Yeah, that’s good,” A voice from in front said.
You turned to look as you had been turned to the side so you could face Erin.
“Sonny?” You questioned, “What are you doing here?”
“Erin called me,” He revealed walking up the path to get closer to you both.
“How did you know?” You said getting up to meet him but glancing back at Sonny.
“You two are hardly discreet,” She chuckled, “Plus I’ve seen the way you look at him. It’s the same way Mom used to look at Dad. It’s how Linda looks at Danny. It’s true love,”
“I’m sorry,” You apologized as you reached Sonny and he held you at arm's length.
“I know you are,” He smiled, “I just wish you could have told me the truth,”
“I was scared,” You offered ironically.
“And to think I used to think you were fearless,” He teased.
“I am, just not when it comes to relationships.” You reminded.
“I’m not going anywhere Y/N. I know how I feel about you will never go away. What we have isn’t something that just fades. It can’t be damaged by changing. Relationships change because circumstances change all the time. But relationships the core of them don’t. I know meeting your parents is a change in our dynamic but it’s just going to add to your relationship. I want what you have with my family with yours. Give me that chance. I love you so much that nothing you could do can change that,” He said sincerely.
“What if I murdered someone?” You posed to him.
“Y/N,” Sonny said unamused.
“What if I cheated on you?” You persisted.
“Y/N,” He repeated.
“What if I told you that I didn’t like Italian food,” You whispered teasingly in his ear, leaning up before saying, “I love you too Sonny,”
You kissed and embraced swiftly.
“Aww,” Erin swooned as you broke apart.
“Can you not embarrass me for once?” You sighed, still in Sonny's arms and looking up at her.
“No,” She grinned, shaking her head, “Though what’s more embarrassing is that you haven’t introduced me to this boyfriend of yours,”
“You know who it is,” You reminded, “You’ve met before.”
“I’d like a formal introduction to your boyfriend, not your partner,” She insisted.
“Sonny,” You began, “This is my much older sister Erin. Erin this is my boyfriend, partner and best friend Dominick Carisi,”
“A bit cheesy but I’ll take it,” She chuckled, walking down the steps to shake hands with Sonny ceremoniously, “It’s nice to meet you, Dominick,”
“Please call me Sonny,” He grinned, “It’s lovely to meet you. And may I say that you are much more beautiful than your younger sister gives you credit,”
“You can say it but you don’t have too,” You commented under your breath.
“Why thank you,” Erin smiled after tossing you a disapproving look, “Please come in Sonny and meet the rest of the family,”
“Y/N?” Sonny asked, looking at you.
“Yeah,” You confirmed, smiling up at him, “Come and meet the rest of the Reagans,”
“Great,” Sonny grinned.
“Smile, while you still can, pretty boy” You winked as you headed hand in hand into the house.
#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#svu#svu imagine#SVU fanfiction#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#SVUxbluebloods#bluebloodsxSVU#sonny carisi#sonny carisi imagine#Dominick Carisi#dominick carisi jr imagine#Dominick Carisi JR#dominick carisi imagine#SVU FANDOM#blue bloods fandom#imagine#svubloods
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Imagine a Barba v Reagan Custody Trial THE INTERLUDE: How We Got Here (TPELB PART EIGHT)
(A/N: Sorry I’m such a slow uploader lately! Trying to be faster! I hope you enjoy this. Trying something new is always fun)
Masterlist with all the parts HERE
THIS IMAGINE IS IN THE THIRD PERSON
Imagine a Barba v Reagan custody trial THE INTERLUDE: How We Got Here
August 20th, 2003
Erika Reagan tapped the last keys of the song before being met by an applause better than she had expected, given that there were only a few patrons in the bar.
It was 2:00 am after all.
But then again there was that one guy. He had slipped in just as you started and she hadn’t noticed until she locked eyes with him while performing. He had almost made her mess up but she composed herself quickly. As she stood up the light shined brightly in her face so she couldn’t see anything. She made her way towards the end of the stage so walk down and standing at the bottom was the man she had seen.
“Let me help you,” He said, giving her his hand so she could use to get down the stairs.
He must have noticed the ‘ridiculous high heels I’m wearing’ she thought to herself as she stepped down and got back onto solid ground. Erika hated the dress code for this place, it was so unlike her to wear such high heels
“Thanks,” She smiled, quickly dusting herself off.
“You were amazing up there,” He complimented, with a slight blush but his eyes bright with confidence.
Erika finally took a proper look at him as she had previously just noticed his beautiful green eyes. He was wearing a suit essentially but without the jacket and he had taken off his tie as well as undone some of the buttons. He was well dressed, yes, but disheveled like he had just gotten off a long days work or had done that then had to drive a long time to get here. Nobody would make the trek to come to a place like this so he clearly had some sort of business in the area and stumbled here for a nightcap. It was strange though she thought, he wasn’t the sort of person who came to a bar like this. She thought about the regulars, mostly old drunkards that drove trucks. Definitely not the sort of person she would expect.
She tried to be suspicious of this stranger but she couldn’t bring herself to feel that way. She was intoxicated by his eyes and his smile was enticing. Very unlike her, she found herself avoiding eye contact with him. She almost felt self-conscious.
“Aw, thank you,” She repeated, “My boss just made get up there because he was fixing the stereo. Didn’t want any silence for our many customers,”
She said it while gesturing to the almost empty bar.
“Well, you were much better than anything on the stereo,” He smiled.
“What if the original was playing?” She countered.
“I preferred your version,” He complimented once again, “Which is a big compliment coming from me…”
“Because your opinion is important for some reason,” She teased with a wink.
“No,” He chuckled, attracted, “Because it’s my favorite song. And obviously, it would have to take a really good performance to say that it beat it,”
“It is?” She asked, surprised.
He nodded.
“It’s mine too,” She said honestly, gaining some confidence.
Both of them did.
“I’m Rafael,” He introduced.
“I’m Rosie,” Erika lied expertly despite almost forget because she was so taken by him, shaking his hand, “I like your name,”
“You do?” He inquired.
“Yeah,” She smiled.
“I like how it sounds and it’s really cute, you know?” She explained badly, she couldn’t describe it accurately, she just liked it.
“Well, hopefully, I live up to your expectations of the name?” He offered awkwardly as he didn’t really know what to say.
“You do,” She reassured with yet another shy smile.
They chatted about Bob Dylan, amongst other things for a few minutes. They had both gotten over the nervousness of approaching and or being approached someone they found attractive and were back to the usual confident selves. They were flirty, playful and curious.
“So why don’t you tell me what someone like you is doing in a place like this?” She questioned, as she had boldly taken his hand in hers and pulled him to a nearby table so they could talk.
“What do you mean by someone like me?” He countered.
“You know,” She insisted, rolling her eyes at his ‘game’.
“No, I really don’t,” He smirked, leaning forward so they were closer together, “So tell me,”
“Smart, well dressed, not a trucker ” She sighed and gave in, “annoying to a certain extent because he won’t admit that he just wants me to compliment him, hand…”
She stopped herself from continuing.
“You were going to say handsome weren’t you?” He accused playfully.
She just played it off.
“You’re not too bad yourself,” He commented.
“Because that’s what every girl wants to hear,” She responded, leaning back as he did.
“What do you want me to say?” He inquired, his eyes glistening up at her.
“Why you’re here?” She smirked.
“I just got in from upstate, well a couple of hours ago. My mom kept me occupied so by the time she let me go it was too late to call up any of my friends so I’m out by myself. Here was the closest place open to my Abuela's house,” He explained.
“Sorry, you had to end up here,” She apologized, taking a glance at the establishment.
“I’m not,” He said.
“I only say that because this is hardly a place that attorneys come to,” She clarified instinctively without thinking.
“Why would you think that I’m an attorney?” He inquired.
“It’s a look,” She excused, cursing herself internally for her slip-up, “I’m good at reading people. You have to in this job,”
“I didn’t think bartenders had to be so observant,” He commented.
“Well, they have to see,” She began before making up something to satisfy him, thinking carefully, thoughtfully and quickly.
Rafael, on the other hand, was barely listening. He was just watching her. She was one of the most beautiful people that he ever saw. Her smile was infectious and her blue eyes were deep and meaningful. He noted that she very gesticulated. Probably more than she realizes he thought. Watching her was captivating. He was just so interested in everything she had to say despite knowing her barely more than an hour.
He hadn’t expected to meet someone like her, especially at this time but he was very welcoming to this change of plans. He thought that he was going to have to spend the night drowning his sorrows in his beer. It was three years since after all. He shrugged it off as much as he could without jerking.
He didn’t want to think about her. He couldn’t change things with her or make things with her. But he could with Rosie he thought. He liked her a lot, more than any of the other girls he had been filling his time with since everything happened. She was electric.
“I never considered that,” He admitted, tuning back in.
“Got to know who to target,” She chuckled.
“Is that what you are doing, right now?” He accused teasingly.
“You approached me,” She reminded.
“You could have taken advantage of the situation,” He suggested.
“Maybe I am,” She winked.
"So what's your story?" He asked, taking a sip of yet another beer one of your coworkers brought to you.
"I don't know what you mean?" Erika replied innocently yet tactfully.
"Do you expect me to believe that you want to be working here?" He elaborated.
"I'm wondering if you would actually feel bad if I said that was what I wanted," She attempted to deflect in a playful manner.
"But it's not so why should I feel bad?" He rebutted, "Who are you, Rosie,"
Erika thought about who she really was.
"I don't know yet," She said with brutal honestly, for a second letting go of the facade, "I'm still figuring it out which is why I work here,”
“Far enough,” He offered, though slightly disappointed, he had always known what he wanted to do and ambitious that it was surprising whenever he met someone who apparently lacked the drive.
The alcohol in his system made it seem like less of an issue, however.
“What about you, Rafael?” She asked in turn, purposely rolling his name off her tongue.
She liked how it sounded and he liked how she said it.
“Well, I work for a corporate firm upstate. We handle mergers, contracts, and business deals,” He listed off in a monotone.
“And you hate it don’t you?” Erika picked up on almost immediately.
“Yes,” He responded, the alcohol making it much easier, to be honest all of a sudden as he made no attempt unlike usually to hide his distaste.
“Why are you doing it then,” She inquired, sipping absent-mindedly, keeping an eye on her ‘boss’ across the room.
“It pays really well and I’m trying to save money.” He sighed, swirling his drink before taking a massive gulp.
“What do you want to do then?” She questioned.
“I want to be the District Attorney,” He said boldly, in a tone which would imply that he didn’t believe it.
“Then go do it,” She said.
“It’s not that easy,” He insisted.
“It could be,” She pointed out, “You’re just making it complicated,”
“Ten more minutes and then you all need to clear off,” A loud voice from behind them called.
They both turned to see who it was. Erika rolled her eyes at the bellowing voice of her ‘boss’. It irritated her to no end. After that, they both realized that they had been talking her a solid two hours as 4:00 am drew closer.
Rafael went to say something when a new song started playing on the stereo. Erika jumped up and grabbed Rafael’s hand. He chuckled after the initial shock.
“I love this song,” She cried, the tipsiness taking over at this point.
“I wouldn’t ever have guessed,” He commented.
“Dance with me?” She asked though she was already dragging him to the dance floor.
“I don’t dance,” He tried to insist.
“Please, I bet you do,” She giggled, “You look like someone whose mother made them go dancing classes,”
“How did…” He went to ask.
“I’m good at reading people, remember?” She whispered into his ear as they took a position on the dance floor.
“Fine,” He gave in, though he was already moving along with her as they danced to song playing.
As they danced to the song, the giggled and laughed and just had fun. Rafael wouldn’t ever usually do this but the mix of alcohol, lack of spectators and the right girl made him more carefree than he ever had before. Erika, on the other hand, would have done the same thing even if the whole bar was brimming with people. She didn’t care if people were looking. Rather cliche but life was just too short in her mind. In fact, the both of them secretly thought about how tonight had been the most fun that they had in years.
In the most unexpected place with the most unexpected person.
As the song drew to a close, they had already stopped dancing. They had begun kissing half way through and hadn’t stopped. They did until their time was up and the bar was closing for the night.
“When can I see you again?” Rafael asked as they slipped back out into the real world.
“How about seven tomorrow?” She replied, “This should all be finished by then,”
“You mean work?” He asked.
“Yeah,” She nodded, quickly “Just let me know where you want to go,”
“I will,” He agreed, “Do you want me to walk you home? It is late after all.”
“I can handle myself,” She reassured, “My roommates coming to pick me up,”
“All right, see you tomorrow,” He smiled.
“Tomorrow,” She confirmed.
With that he kissed her again before walking away, leaving her standing outside the bar, waiting. She watched him go, only back when he had disappeared around the corner. She sighed a breath of relief as a blacked out car pulled up in front of her. The window rolled down to reveal Erika’s partner Will Gorski smiling up at her.
“How was work, dear?” He teased as she quickly scrambled into the backseat.
“Not too bad considering I was just there to keep my cover for the past, oh look at that three hours,” She snapped as he began driving.
“Haven’t you always wanted to be a bartender?” He asked.
“No,” She stated as if it was obvious.
“I have,” He grinned, “Ladies love bartenders,”
“You’re disgusting,” She commented.
“Well, think about it this way. By five tomorrow you’ll never see any of those people again and you can stop being Rosie McDonald and go back to being Erika Reagan,”
“Yeah,” She said, breathing out heavily, “It will all be over,”
August 24th, 2003
“So you got any skeletons Barbs?” Erika inquired, as she took a bite of her food.
“What do you mean?” He countered, taking a bit himself of his stake.
“Anything big that I don’t know about you?” She elaborated, “It is our third date after all. I should know all big things by this point.”
“A little early isn’t it?” He posed.
“This is usually the date I decide if I want things to go any further,” She revealed.
“How are my odds?” He inquired.
“Depends on your answer,” She winked.
Rafael looked around the busy restaurant they were sitting in. You had feared that Rosie would be intimidated by a rather upscale place like this but she seemed to fit in seamlessly. A fact which confused him considering the upbringing she had described was very humble, such like his own. But unlike his own, she hadn’t had the opportunity to learn all the stuff he had during his college days at Harvard.
“Like what?” He entertained.
“Have you been divorced?” She asked.
“No,” He said.
“Ever been in prison?” She pressed.
“No,” He chuckled.
“Got any kids?” She questioned.
“Definitely not,” He ensured.
“You sound really sure about that last one,” Erika picked up on.
“I am sure that I don’t have any children.” He stated.
“You may have one and just might not know them,” She suggested.
“Stuff like that doesn’t happen in real life,” He commented.
“Sure it does,” She said, “Much harder for guys to keep trachea than it is for girls,”
“Do you want kids?” He asked rather bluntly.
“Woah! It’s the third date. That’s bit of a heavy question, don’t you think?” Erika played off rather awkwardly and not in her usual confident manner.
“No harm in knowing where your date stands in the important matter,” He shrugged.
“Kids are an important subject to you?” She countered.
“They are to most people,” He insisted.
“Okay, so what’s your view on the matter?” She argued.
“To be honest I don’t know,” He admitted, “I don’t think I do but I don’t know,”
“Well, I do know,” She said rather confidently, “I don’t want kids. I’m just not good with them you know? I’d be a terrible mother plus I’m pretty sure I was born without that motherly instinct thing,”
“Well, I guess we are sort of on the same page then,” Rafael said, “Neither of us wants kids,”
August 27th, 2003
“Come on Rosie, just tell me,” Rafael said.
“No,” She giggled, “It’s embarrassing,”
“So you get me confess all my secrets but you don’t have to tell me any of yours?” He questioned.
“That’s usually how it works,” She chuckled, “Which means I’ll never tell you why I will never tell you why I don’t like spaghetti,”
“But it has nothing to do with the taste?” He insisted on asking.
“Would it matter if it did?” She smirked before they both started laughing.
“So, what’s going on with your bar?” Rafael inquired.
He and Erika were walking down the street, hand in hand, towards her apartment. They had been going on dates every day since they had met a week ago. They were really hitting it off, despite the secrets that were looming over their heads.
“What do you mean?” She countered.
“I went by there today and it was closed,” He said.
The flashback of hauling the boss into the back of a squad car a few hours before hers and Rafaels date flashed in her mind.
“Oh maintenance,” She played off.
“Are you sure?” He went to ask only to be interrupted by Erika, in a moment of panic so she pressed her lips into his.
“Do you want to come upstairs?” She said against his lips, as they had reached the outside of her apartment building.
“Sure,” He said eagerly though he was playing it casually.
She just grabbed his hand and pulled him along inside. The silent understanding between them was clear.
The next morning when Rafael left was the last time either of them would see or talk to each other for a while after that. If you asked either of them the reason why they never reached out again, they would have different answers. If you asked each of them who pulled the silence treatment on the other, they would both give you a different answer.
October 30th, 2003
Erika tapped her foot furiously and quickly on the floor as the time passed. Her older sister Erin paced outside the door. She was speaking as fast as Erika was tapping her foot but Erika wasn’t listening to a word. She was just staring at the clock, waiting.
Three minutes.
“Erin!” Erika snapped before her voice softened, “Just stop talking,”
“What are you going to do?” Erin asked, coming back into the bathroom and dropping by Erika’s side, who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub.
“I don’t know,” She responded, not looking up, “And I don’t have to know until I get the result right? It might be nothing. You might be wrong. I hate to break it to you Erin but that might happen you know? You can’t always be right! Sure you might have been right about me cheating on that test in the with grade and when I dropped out of college and tried to hide to from everyone. But you might not be right about this, okay!”
“Erika,” Erin tried to say.
“No, Erin I just don’t…” Erika began continuing her tirade.
“Times up,” She interrupted, gesturing towards the counter.
“Oh,” Erika let out, getting up and walking over.
She steps were timid and short. As if she was prolonging the time of not knowing despite being so impatient a few minutes ago. She eventually reached the countered and picked up the pregnancy test gingerly.
“So?” Erin prompted after several moments of Erika looking down at the test.
She just shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks as she thrashed the test into her sister's hands.
“Oh sweetie,” Erin said as Erika sank onto the floor her back against the bathtub.
“I’m pregnant,” She sobbed, her head in her hands, “I’m having a baby,”
“Yeah, you are,” Erin confirmed, sitting down beside her and wrapping her arms around her so her baby sister could cry into her chest.
“What am I going to do?” She cried.
“We’ll figure it out,” Erin reassured, soothing her, “We’ll figure it out together.”
“You don’t have a plan?” Erika demanded, still so in shock that she didn’t know how to react.
She didn’t know if she was happy or sad. All she knew was that she was overwhelmed. And all she could do is cry.
“Of course I do,” Erin chuckled, “But we don’t have to talk about that right now if you don’t want to,”
“I don’t,” Erika affirmed.
“Can I ask you something?” Erin said after fifteen minutes of the two of them sitting on the floor, the pregnancy test at their feet.
“Sure,” Erika nodded, pulling herself up and wiping the tears from her face.
“Whose is it?” Erin asked.
Erika paused.
“You do know don’t you?” Erin continued.
“Yes,” She confirmed, annoyed.
“Just checking,” Erin said with fake innocence as they both stood up.
“I have to make a phone-call,” Erika announced, walking into her living room.
“Are you calling the Dad?” Erin asked, hurrying after her.
“Who else?” Erika demanded.
“Hey, I don’t know. You may have been calling your psychic for all I know,” Erin offered, disapprovingly.
“I haven’t seen my psychic in months,” Erika stated, as she tried to find the number on her phone.
“Hold on,” Erin said running to her bag and pulling out a handheld tape recorder.
“What are you doing?” Erika asked.
“Are you dating this guy? Do you think it will last? Do you think he will want to be apart of the babies life? Will he want custody?” She started to question incessantly.
“I don’t know!” Erika responded, “I know we aren’t dating. He was just a…”
“He wasn’t a one night stand was he?” Erin asked.
“I…” Erika went to say.
“Oh, Erika Rosaline Reagan!” She cried.
“God, you sound like mom,” Erika commented.
“How are you going to tell Mom and Dad?” Erin asked.
“Stop asking me questions! Let me do this!” Erika insisted, “Now, why do you have a tape recorder?”
“If this goes to court it’s better to have a record of all communication. Just in case,” Erin explained, “You don’t what might happen. Child Custody cases can get very intense.”
“Alright,” Erika agreed, pulling the ringing phone from her ear and putting it on speaker.
Erin pressed the record button.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three rings.
“Hello?” A voice on the under end responded the signal must have been bad as there were cracks but not enough that the message would be distorted.
“Rafael?” Erika questioned, almost nervous.
“Oh hi,” Rafael responded, his surprise evident, “It’s nice to hear from you? How are you?”
“Okay,” She replied shakily, “You?”
“Good,” He said, “Listen, you know I was planning on calling…”
“Rafael, I don’t know how to tell you this,” Erika began all of sudden, she couldn’t keep it in.
Rafael at this point was sitting at his desk work, back upstate. He was working late and he wasn’t expecting any calls. He was about to leave when it rang. Under the assumption that is was a casual call. He continued to pack away his things.
“Okay…” He dragged out, confused, slowing done his packing, “What’s up?”
“I’m pregnant,”
The words hit Rafael's ears. For the first five-seconds, he was silent. Then he opened his desk drawer and searched. Once he found it, he pulled it out and held it in his hands. Opening it up slowly, the memory of the first time he received it washed over. He knew what he had to do and he didn’t like it.
“Rafael?” Erika asked, thinking the connection had been lost or he had been stunned into silence.
“Are you joking?” He countered.
“No, of course not,” Erika refuted, “I wouldn’t lie about something like this,”
“Come on,” He insisted, “Enough is enough. I’m not falling for it!”
“I’m not joking!” Erika insisted, “It’s the truth! I can prove it!”
“Yeah okay, I’m sure you can,” He played off, ��Listen I don’t have time for this, okay? You can’t fool me so your little trick failed. So can we just drop this and never speak to each other again?”
“Rafael, I don’t understand,” Erika sighed, her voice softening.
“I do though.This is just your attempt at a money grab, right?” He accused, “It’s pretty obvious,”
“I don’t want your money and how fucking dare you accuse me…” Erika stated.
“How many people have you tried this on?” He countered.
“I don’t know why you are thinking this way but the truth is I’m pregnant and it’s yours so,” Erika stated once again, getting angry at this point.
“Whatever you say,” He entertained, mockingly.
“Why are you acting like this?” Erika demanded.
“Why are you?” Rafael countered, “You could do much more with your life than reducing yourself to this.”
“What the hell is going on?” She demanded.
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” He countered.
“I can’t deal with you. How dare you? You don’t even know me,” She began to rant.
“You’re right,” Erika agreed, “And I clearly don’t know you either. I thought you were a decent person,”
“Yeah, let’s debate my decency,” He chuckled, condescendingly.
“You know what I can’t deal with you anymore. So I’m going to hang up but before I do. Just know when you realize that you’re wrong because you will. You will never ever see this kid unless it’s over my dead body. Are we understood? Because I wouldn’t want them to have such an insensitive moronic bastard as a Dad.” She shouted down the line before hanging up angrily.
May 20th, 2004
“See you a bit,” Erika smiled and waved while lying back on the bed as her parents shut the door behind them.
As soon as she did her eyes glanced over the bassinet at the side by the side of her bed. She took a deep breath and got up. She circled the bed and walked towards the bassinet. Stopping and placing her hands on the rim.
She looked down at the contently sleeping baby placed inside. She gently stroked her cheek and bent down so it was at eye level.
“Hi Y/N,” She whispered, careful not to wake her sleeping daughter, “I know it might seem like it is going to be just the two of us but we aren’t alone, I promise. There are so many people that love you so much already. We’re going to be okay. I promise. And even if I’m not you will be. Because my promise to you is that from today on the only job I have is to make sure you are okay. You really the best thing I’ve ever done. I love you so much. I didn’t know what alive felt like until I met you,”
July 24th, 2007
Erika let out a sigh of satisfaction as she leafed through the freshly developed photos of her daughter Y/N’s 3rd birthday party. She had finally gotten them developed after almost two months. She had honestly only did it because her sister Erin had been pressing her for pictures so she could put one on her desk.
Erika was sitting in her partners' car. They were on their way to go question a suspect when her pertained Will had stopped the car to get coffee for the two of them. It was a neighborhood that they never really went to. Will had parked on a residential street a few blocks away from the shop because he couldn’t find a space. The street was empty as everyone presumedly was off working.
She pulled out a picture of her and her daughter. She was holding her as her daughter tried to blow out her candles. Y/N’s eyes were shut in an effort to blow out the candles and Erika was looking at her daughter and chuckling. Neither of them was looking at the camera. Erika made a mental note to thank her younger brother Jamie for always amazing photography.
Erika held the picture up and smiled. Holding it tight in her hand as she looked lovingly at the light of her life.
Then there was a knock on the window. She turned to look, the picture still in her hand. She looked up at the face and went to say something but then the gun was pulled and she stopped dead. Her hand flew to her own but the reactions were slowed of course. She wasn’t fast enough, the confusion of it all playing apart. She didn’t have enough time before it was fired.
The last thing Erika Reagan ever saw was shattering glass and her daughters face.
Blood splatted everywhere and Erika’s lifeless body slumped to the side. She was covered in glass and still in her clenched hand was the now blood splattered photo of her daughter.
Her partner returned five minutes later and officially discovered her body.
“And now back to our main story. This morning an NYPD Detective was found shot dead in her car…”
A few hours later that day, Rafael Barba found himself sitting in a bar, watching the news absent mindedly as he waited.
“Rafael!” A voice from behind said, causing Rafael to turn around just as the picture of Erika Reagan flashed on the screen.
“Sir,” Rafael acknowledged, getting up and shaking his hand.
“I know you’re dying to know so I won’t keep you waiting,” He chuckled, “Let me be the first to say congratulations on the new job.”
“I got the position?” Rafael inquired.
“You did,” He confirmed chuckling, “Welcome to the District Attorneys Office,”
Two Weeks Ago
“Has it affected her?” Rafael inquired, looking out the window and across to his daughter.
Y/N was sitting eating lunch outside with her friends unaware of her Father’s gaze. She seemed happy. Broadly smiling and laughing. They were clearly engaged in some sort of conversation. Rafael couldn’t help but smile at her despite still caring the heavy feelings of guilt that he felt. He was good at hiding his emotions and he got the impression that his daughter was also good at it.
“We have noticed some changes,” Y/N’s principle acknowledged, “She has her version of good days and bad days,”
“What do you mean?” He asked, not taking his eyes off her.
“She doesn’t show her emotions like other people. She’s a very controlled individual. You need to know her well to be able to pick up on how she is feeling.” They recounted.
Rafael bowed his head in guilt.
“Not that I’m suggesting…” They went to rectify.
“It’s okay,” Rafael reassured, “It’s the truth isn’t it,”
“I’m to the belief that it wasn’t your fault though, correct?” They inquired.
“No, it wasn’t my fault,” Rafael confirmed, looking back at his daughter, “Thank you for letting me do this. I don’t really get to see her, this is best I can get.”
“Of course. I can’t imagine going through what you are,” They smiled.
“I’ll head off now. Thank you once again,” Rafael said, feeling overwhelmed he made a quick exit.
He walked down an empty corridor. Turning the corner he was stopped by a young blonde teacher. She was standing there as if she was waiting for him.
“Are you Y/N’s Dad?” She asked immediately.
“Um yes. Who are you?” Rafael questioned.
“I’m her English teacher, Miss Norden,” She introduced, shaking his hand.
“Nice to meet you,” Rafael smiled politely.
“I don’t have much time but I wanted to give you this because I heard you were here,” She said handing him a letter.
“What is it?” He asked, opening it up.
“I don’t have time to explain. Just read it. You need it but let me be clear that I’m doing this because I think it’s in Y/N’ best interest,” She explained, “It’s a letter she wrote as a part of some exercise with her therapist. It’s a letter to her mother,”
“How did you get this?” He asked.
“It was an accident,” She said.
And with that, she walked past him and down the corridor as the bell rang and children began filing in. Rafael continued to leave, clutching the letter in his hand as he slid into his car. Once safely in its confines, he read the letter.
It was emotional and personal. Rafael hated himself for reading it. He felt like he was betraying her trust, though it wasn’t like that she had any in him anyway. Though it was the last paragraph that peaked his interest the most.
“I feel so guilty that sometimes I feel like they all look at me and wish it was you instead. Because I know they love me but I sometimes I feel like would rather have you. They miss you so much Mom, so much. I really wish I could miss you like they do but I can’t. I feel disconnected. I hate that sometimes I hate looking like you. Because there are just things I notice. Sometimes Uncle Danny can’t even look at me because I look so much like you and he misses you so much. Sometimes Great Grandpa Henry calls me by your name by accident and looks so sad when he remembers. There are some streets on your old beat where everyone stops and stares at me because you had such an effect on them. They miss you. Everyone misses you. They all want you back.
I just wish I could feel the same way. I just want someone to love me because I’m me and not because I’m your daughter.”
Present Day
The courtroom erupted and the Judge called a recess quickly. Not wanting Y/N, who was sitting on the witness stand see the arguing. The judge gestured for the young girl to be taken back to the witness room while denying the request to be recalled. He wasn’t going to let that poor girl go back on the witness stand after that.
Y/N was directed to the witness room and then left alone.
She took a deep breath. She felt overwhelmed. She hated this feeling and she just needed to get out of here.
She wiped a tear from her cheek and bolted towards the door. She made as far as down the corridor before being stopped by a familiar case.
“I’m so sorry Y/N…”
#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#svu imagine#svu#SVU fanfiction#blue bloods fandom#SVU FANDOM#blue bloods x svu#SVUxbluebloods#imagine#rafael barba#ada rafael barba#rafael barba imagine#ada rafael barba imagine#rafael x daughter#Reagan#Frank Reagan#frank reagan imagine#Erin Reagan#Joe Reagan#joe reagan imagine#detective joe reagan#detective joe reagan imagine#Jamie Reagan#jamie reagan imagine#officer jamie reagan#officer jamie reagan imagine
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Imagine Nick’s daughter, Zara, letting it slip that he likes you
(A/N: To Anon, sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoy. Only 4k so a bit on the short side than usual but hopefully, you all still enjoy it. Had to take a half an hour break from writing though after hearing SENSE8 is getting a special! Needed to celebrate!)
Imagine Nick’s daughter, Zara, letting it slip that he likes you
“Well,…um…you aren’t who I was expecting,” Nick commented as he opened the door which consequently revealed you standing on his doorstep.
“Who were you expecting at this time?” You smirked, leaning casually against his doorframe.
“The pizza guy,” He nodded, seriously.
“But you’re more glad to see me, right?” You grinned, playfully.
“Did you bring a pizza?” He asked seriously.
You hit him with the files you were carrying in response.
“I’ll take that as a no,” He quipped as he dodged the final sing you took at him.
“Are you going to let me in?” You sighed, shaking your head.
“Depends,” He dragged out, leaning against the doorway you just pushed off from and folding his arms, “Tell me what brings you to my apartment at this time on a Thursday night?”
“It’s seven ‘o’ clock, Nick,” You reminded.
“Exactly,” He agreed, “I usually don’t see you past five so do your car to share what brings you to my apartment,”
“The Mercado case,” You revealed, folding up the file.
“And here’s me thinking that you came all this way to see me,” He sighed, teasingly as he stepped out the way so you could step in.
“You wish,” You quipped, stepping inside and looking around the room before turning back to him, “Plus I didn’t have to drive that far,”
“Really?” He questioned.
“Really,” You nodded, “I was at my Dads,”
“How is the Commissioner?” He asked.
“Very well,” You replied, “Not too happy I had to skip out poker night to track you down and work on a case though,”
“Why can’t we do it tomorrow, why the sudden rush?” Nick inquired.
“Our victim has been identified as a Meredith Harlow,” You began to explain handing him the file.
“So?” Nick shrugged taking the file from you and starting to flip through it.
“Meredith Harlow is a senior executive at Randstad Limited,” You continued, waiting for his reaction.
His eyes widened as he looked up at, tearing his eyes away from the pages in front of him.
“Brass put pressure on Liv who in turn is putting pressure on us,” You finished.
“This is going to take all night,” He commented.
“Which is why I'm here,” You stated.
“Y/N, I can't go…” He began to excuse.
He was interrupted by Zara who came running from the kitchen looking for her Dad. Her priorities changed when she saw you though. Her eyes widened, excitedly, just like her dad and she started to beam.
“Y/N!” She exclaimed, before charging at you.
“Zar Zar!” You returned, dropping to your knees so she ran into your hug instead of your legs.
She came at you with such force that you almost toppled over but you steadied yourself by returning the massive bear hug she was giving you.
“I've missed getting hugs from you,” You commented while you swinging her from side to side to make her giggle.
“Why are you here?” She inquired, looking up at you with big eyes.
“To see your Dad,” You explained but you then lowered your voice into a whisper, “But really to see you,”
“Hehe,” She giggled, scrunching up her face in laughter.
“You should ask him if I can stay,” You suggested in a half whisper, fully aware that Nick could hear.
“Daddy, can Y/N stay and have dinner with us?” Zara asked, turning so she could look up at her Dad, who was watching over you, she also made a point to keep hugging you and press the side of her face into yours.
“Yeah Dad,” You winked.
“Alright fine, but she gets your half of the pizza,” He gave in, shaking his head at you.
“Yay!” Zara squealed, hugging you again.
"And we can make our special dessert” You reminded, grinning at her.
“But Dad finished all the oreos,” She pouted, disappointed.
“Well, it’s a good thing I bought some then,” You comforted, squeezing her cheek.
“You did!” She stated.
“A huh, and…” You announced, getting up and opening the front door, grabbing the bag you’d left to the side and pulling it out, “I bought ice cream. Cookie dough flavour!”
“You’re the best,” Zara exclaimed, grabbing the bag and racing to the kitchen with it.
“After dinner. Put it in the freezer,” Nick called after her before turning suspiciously back to you.
“You knew I had Zara tonight didn’t you?” He questioned.
“Of course I did.” You gave in immediately, unfazed, “That’s why I didn’t call you down the station and came here instead,”
“How did you know?” He inquired.
“You’re my partner Nick. I know everything about you including your schedule,” You smirked.
“That’s a bit creepy,” He commented before softening, “Thank you,”
“No problem, I was hardly going to interrupt your night with Zara by dragging you away,” You reassured.
“Technically, you’re still interrupting,” He reminded.
“If anything I’m adding to the experience,” You rebutted.
“If you would let me finish I was going to say,” He sighed dramatically, before stating, “That you’ll definitely make it better. You may not have noticed but she loves you,”
“I’m sure she would have had fun if it was just the two of you as well,” You comforted.
“I know,” He agreed confidently, “I don’t need to bribe her with dessert. Speaking of bribes where is mine?”
“You mean this?” You said, leaning back out the door and retrieving from the side a case of six beers.
“You know me too well,” He commented, taking it from you and inspecting by lifting it up to his face.
“It’s the real thing, don’t worry,” You smirked.
“Just making sure it wasn’t a knock off or you know poisoned,” He teased, before saying, “Come on,”
“If I was going to poison you I would have done it already,” You reminded, closing the front door again and walking ahead hopefully on route to the kitchen.
“I don’t doubt it,” Nick chuckled, walking with you, putting his hand on your back to guide you the right room.
As soon as you felt the pressure of his hand on your skin, it sent shivers down your spine. You hated that he could do this to you. All he needed was to look at you a certain way, or bite his lip or even touch you briefly and you practically melted. You hated how your feelings made you so vulnerable around him, but you hid it well so you were the only one that had to live with the embarrassment you felt.
You were going to need to face these feelings eventually. Currently, you were just avoiding them and only confronted them when they came up.
You couldn’t really pin point the moment when you started feeling more than just friendly feeling towards your partner of now over two and half years. A good proportion of the first year he was still married to Maria, even though it was rocky to say the least. And regardless at that time you were in a relationship yourself. You think it was around six months ago, after his divorce had been finalised and after things in your won relationship had started to become strained.
You don’t know why you started to like him or why for that matter, fell so hard for him.
Maybe, because, besides from your family he was the only person who’d come into your life who completely had your back and knew you truly. Even though you often tease Nick for not knowing anything about you, he knew more about you than anyone. And it wasn’t because you were partners or you because you saw each other everyday. It was truly because he opened to his heart to you and tried to get to know you fundamentally. Your soul, spirit and mind. He proved himself to be more than the macho aggressive cop that you stereotyped him to be when you first met. He was more than that, you know, he was caring and attentive. And he truly loves life and being a good Dad, most likely because of the experiences he had with his own father growing up.
Maybe you did know why you liked him.
You’d been struggling with this realisation for like you said around six months. Three of which you were in a relationship with another guy. In your defence you had fallen out of love with him, Jason, for months prior but you stuck around because he was nice enough, you were denying your feeling for your partner and you didn’t think that you would find anyone else.
You’d been with Jason for around a year when Nick joined the Special Victims Unit and became your partner. And obviously he was completely engrained in yourself plus back then, you were in love with Jason. He attended your family dinners on Sundays and went to all other family events, he was your boyfriend, so why wouldn’t he. Once again you don’t know when it all started to go down hill for you. You knew by Jason’s reaction when you broke up with him that he wasn’t the feeling the same way. He was still supposedly in love with you while you felt nothing at all. You assumed that he would have sensed something was wrong when you dodged his suggestion of moving in together for several months.
You broke up with Jason around three months ago. You didn’t announce it so to speak. He of course stopped coming to your family dinners and events. You made up excuses for a while but you gave up. You think they figured out that you weren’t together and strangely they seemed to be happy about it even though you were sure that they liked him. Though it may seem like you were but you weren’t hiding it. You were just not talking about it. If they asked you would tell them the truth. And it just so happened that Nick had asked you, he had’t even mentioned Jason for a while, much to your relief.
“Are you okay?” Nick asked, clearly sensing that you had tensed.
“Yeah, I just got shocked,” You said.
“By what?” He questioned, confused.
“The carpet,” You lied, “You know the static,”
“You’ve been dragging your feet?” He asked.
“What can I say? I’m not particularly excited to spend my night with you,” You teased.
“Because you have somewhere better to be?” He smirked.
“Ah, not really,” You confessed, truthfully.
“Really?” He questioned, surprised, “Not even at home with your boyfriend?”
“Well, actually…” You went to say.
“Y/N, come on!” Zara interrupted, suddenly appearing by your side, grabbing hold of you hand and pulling you into the kitchen.
“I’ll go call the pizza guy,” Nick announced, chuckling at his daughters eagerness.
“Why?” You inquired.
“Because both the pizzas I ordered have anchovies on them,” He informed.
“Eww,” You commented.
“Exactly the reason why I’m calling, Hawaiian right?” He asked, pulling out his phone and putting it to his ear.
You nodded eagerly.
“Can’t have some fish on pizza but can have pineapple on it,” He sighed, tapping his put impatiently.
“Because fish is disgusting,” You commented.
“Pineapple and pizza don’t even belong in the same airspace. It’s an insult,” He argued.
“Then why does it taste so good,” You countered.
“Because your tastebuds are as messed up as you are,” He joked.
“You know we’re only talking about pizza right?” You chuckled.
“It’s very important to me,” He stated.
“I feel the same way about pasta,” You agreed.
“So you understand,” He said.
“I do but I still won’t have any anchovies on my pizza,” You reminded.
“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” He chuckled before the phone was obviously picked up, “No that wasn’t to you,”
You couldn’t help but smile before Zara tugged you once again and pull you to the kitchen.
“So what were you doing with your Dad before I came?” You asked, helping her up to sit on the counter seat.
“We were working on my art project, he said we could get it done before dinner,” She explained, gesturing to the countered litter with art supplies.
“What are you making?” You asked.
“A rocket ship,” She said, picking up a stray piece of paper.
“Have you started?” You inquired, curious at her exasperated expression.
“I tried but I can make the long circle bit and Dad couldn't either," She sighed.
"Really?" You questioned.
She nodded.
"It's so easy though," You said, taking a piece of paper and quickly making the desired tube, finishing it with stapling it together.
"Can you do it with this one?" She inquired after you presented her with the finished product, she in turn presented you with another piece of paper of another color.
“Sure," You agreed quickly, doing it for her, "So what are your ideas with this.
She then proceeded to explain the design she wanted on her homemade rocket and how she wanted it to look. She set you off on cutting up shapes for the outer design while she began colouring but then you had to explain that it would p[probably be easier for her to decorate the outside of her rocket before stapling it together.
Around half an hour, you were still waiting for pizza but you had finished Zara's rocket. Nick had come in and reminded you that you were supposed to be working but you insisted on doing it after you had dinner which luckily for you and Zara was taking a while to get here.
"And we're done," You announced while helping Zara adjust the tip of the rocket.
"No no," She insisted, "We have to stick these on the windows,”
"What are they?" You inquired as she handed you three small circles.
“They're us," She exclaimed, "It's me, you and Daddy,"
“Oh,” You smiled, flustered, “That’s really nice,”
You didn’t get tome to say anything else as the doorbell rang and Nick jumped up to go answer it and Zara quickly followed, stating that she was going to get to give the pizza guy money this time. You looked back down at the little specs of paper Zara had given you. You took it upon yourself to stick them on. It made you smile that she had drawn you because she wanted you to go on her fictional space adventure.
Nick caught you smiling to yourself when he came back into the room and smirked at you. After that you ate dinner and while you did, you and Nick started work on the floor while Zara sat comfortably on the sofa watching TV. A couple of hours passed and you and Nick were still working. Zara had moved on from the TV to your hair. As she was in an elevated position it was much easier for her to do your hair. She was putting it into pigtails, so you had to sit up quite straight as you discussed your case, in code of course.
Nick kept mouthing apologises as Zara tugged on your hair had but you just shook you head and chuckled. You just thought it was amusing. You and Nick surprisingly finished a nights worth of work in a few hours, just in time for Zara to go to bed. Zara asked you stay around for a while as she got ready and you agreed even though Nick said you could go if you wanted. Around fifteen minutes later she was all ready for bed and announced that she wanted to do your makeup. Nick once again insisted that you didn’t have to but you couldn’t say no plus you were curious about her skills.
You found yourself, lying flat on your back on the sofa, Zara perched on your chest and brushing at your face. Nick just observed and laughed before walking away to clean up all the messes that you had made over the course of the past few hours.
“Zara,” You sing songed, as she applied sudden extra pressure on your chest because she had leaned forward, “It’s pretty late. Don’t you think it time for you to go to bed?”
“I just have to finish your lipstick,” She said, squinting hard as she concentrated hard on it.
“Does it look nice?” You entertained.
She nodded eagerly.
“Well, it most be if you’re doing it,” You complimented.
“You’re just pretty anyway,” She said complacently.
“Not as pretty as you but thank you very much,” You grinned, amused.
“Daddy thinks you’re pretty,” She continued as she applied once again an obscene amount of blush to your cheeks.
You swallowed hard, taken aback but definitely curious, “Does he?”
“He talks about you all the time,” She added, without thinking twice.
“Really?” You smiled awkwardly, trying to act normally but also to get more information so you could figure out if she was telling the truth of just making it up just like kids do.
She nodded once again, “He says you’re pretty and that he really really likes you,”
“When does he tell you all this?” You probed, gently.
“Whenever we see you or after he calls you,” She informed, “And done,”
“May I take a look?” You smiled, but you were distracted.
She grabbed a small mirror and held it up to you face. It was an interesting look that she had given you to say the least.
“What do you think?” Zara grinned.
“I’ve never looked better,” You confirmed.
“Really?” She exclaimed.
“Really,” You nodded, inspecting your face closer up and chuckling.
“Daddy come look,” Zara suddenly said, looking past you and looking at the other end of the room.
“Woah, Y/N…” Nick commented, coming into purview and taking a look at you.
“You don’t have to say anything,” You interrupted, “I look fabulous,”
“Zara should do your makeup everyday,” He winked.
“I was about to say the same thing,” You laughed, trying to be serious.
“Anyway, you need to go bed,” Nick said, turning to face Zara, “And after you do I’ll negotiate your fees,”
He then began to usher Zara out the room and gestured silently to the bathroom to wash your face. Around twenty minutes later, you came back out dabbing your face with a towel. Making a last ditch attempt to get all the makeup Zara had put on you. The towel was still covering your face when Nick walked back into the room as you had wondered out of the bathroom.
“She’s asleep,” Nick announced, you could only imagine her confused expression.
“Be prepared you’re about to see my makeup free face,” You warned semi-seriously.
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” He chuckled as you shook off your towel.
You made eye contact as soon as you lifted it up and his reaction was silent.
“I did warn you,” You commented awkwardly, not breaking the intense gaze.
“You look beautiful,” He breathed.
“As always,” You joked, trying to ease up the nervousness you were feeling.
“As always,” He agreed, still serious.
“Do you need help cleaning up the files?” You asked.
“No, I got that done when Zara was giving you a makeover,” He informed, “I actually found something we didn’t go over?”
“And what is that?” You asked, switching into work-mode immediately.
After that revelation you found yourself once again sitting on the floor with nick surrounded by files as you went through files trying to uncover motives and any other information relevant to the case. But this time you both nursed the beers that you had brought plus some extra that Nick had produced from his fridge. The forgotten file actually provided some substantial information so it took a while to go through it all. By the time you were finished it was early morning.
“I should head off,” You announced, standing up, yawning and going to grab your coat.
“Y/N, you can’t drive home,” Nick reminded, looking up at you.
“I wasn’t going too,” You insisted, “I was going to walk to my Dads,”
“It’s late Y/N and that’s really far to walk,” He argued, standing up.
“I need to sleep Nick,” You sighed.
“You can stay here,” He suggested.
“No, no,” You denied, “I couldn’t do that,”
“Why not?” He shrugged, “You can take my bed,”
“I can’t do that,” You said.
“Of course you can. I’m offering,” He insisted.
“Don’t you have a spare room?” You asked.
“It’s being renovated,” He informed.
“Can’t I take the couch” You inquired.
“Wasn’t raised to let guests sleep on the couch,” He added.
“Where will you sleep then?” You asked.
“On the floor,” He explained, “It’s great for the back,”
“Are you sure?” You questioned.
“Of course,” He reassured, “I’m not letting you drive and I’m not letting you walk to your Dads at this time and in this state,”
“I didn’t drink that much,” You insisted.
“Still, it will just be easier for you to stay here,” He countered, showing you to his bedroom.
An hour later, you were laying in Nicks bed unable to sleep. You were wearing one of Nick’s shirts and you underwear as you obviously you didn’t have anything else with you. Nick was sleeping on the floor beside the bed as you didn’t want to displace him too much. It had been around thirty minutes since you had both said goodnight and you had just been staring at the ceiling. You assumed that he was sleeping. You were breathing heavily as you processed everything that had happened tonight. The touches, the gazes, the smiles and especially what Zara had told you.
“Can you not sleep?” Nick’s voice suddenly inquired out the dark.
“You’re awake?” You said, not moving and continuing to look at the ceiling.
“I was waiting for you,” He informed.
“Why, so you could stare at me sleeping?” You teased.
“Obviously,” He sighed, the discontent evident in his voice.
There was a silence.
“I heard what Zara told you,” Nick suddenly announced.
“Oh you did?” You played off, trying to be casual, “I’m sure she was just messing around,”
“What if she wasn’t?” He asked.
“Wasn’t she?” You entertained.
“How would you react if she wasn’t?” He clarified.
“I would ask how long you had felt this way,” You continued, inching closer to Nicks side so you could peer down and look at him.
“What if I said one year?” He countered.
“I would say I’ve been feeling the same way,” You informed.
“For how long?” He asked.
“Six months but probably longer,” You responded.
“What about your boyfriend?” He asked.
“We broke up,” You informed, at the edge but still looking up at the ceiling.
“When?” He inquired, his voice perking up.
“Three months ago,” You mentioned.
“Why didn’t you tell me,” He asked taking hold of the hand that you had let dangle over the side, he stroked it instinctively as he held it.
“I couldn’t talk to you about anything involving romance or relationships without most likely descending into a conversation about how I feel about you,” You confessed.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” He probed.
“I was embarrassed for one. You were just getting divorced and I thought you wouldn’t feel the same way,” You admitted.
“Are you crazy?” He exclaimed.
“Maybe,” You nodded, finally turning to look down at him, “But most definitely about you,”
The room was only illuminated by a single ray of moonlight. You saw Nick in it’s glimmer and he looked as handsome as ever.
“Ditto,” He whispered into the darkness before leaning up and grabbing hold of you to kiss you.
The kiss was deep and passionate and your hands both roamed each others bodies. Somehow Nick hoisted himself up on the bed with you and you ended up on top of him. Leaning and pressing down into him as you continued to kiss him. Breathing a second priority in that moment.
Things continued and escalated to say the least. Layers were removed and his hands fell dangerously to you waist. You were nothing but encouraging of what you knew was going to happen next.
“Are you sure?” Nick asked, pulling apart after minutes of pure magic and passion.
“Are you crazy?” You mocked, chuckling, “Of course I am. I’ve been waiting for this,”
“Ditto,” He said once again before kissing you once again.
#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#svu#svu imagine#blue bloods imagine#Blue Bloods#SVUxbluebloods#bluebloodsxSVU#Nick Amaro#nick amaro imagine#Detective Nick Amaro#nick amaro fanfic#imagine#Reagan#svubloods
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Imagine your brother Danny not being impressed with your boyfriend Nick
(A/N: For Anon, I hope you and everyone else enjoys! Sorry, it’s late!)
Imagine Danny not being impressed with your boyfriend Nick
“So why weren’t you this nervous to meet my other older brother, or my grandfather or my father for that matter?” You inquired, sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine as Nick emerged from you bathroom after spending a good hour getting ready for dinner.
“Because I want to impress him,” He replied, smoothing out his pants.
“And you didn’t want to impress my Dad?” You countered.
“No, of course, I did and I think I did impress him…?” He began to explain but paused to ask.
“You’re good,” You confirmed, flashing him a quick comforting smile.
“But Danny unlike your Dad won’t have any problems with hanging me off a roof if he doesn’t like me,” He explained.
“Pretty sure that was Steve McGarrett and not Danny,” You corrected before pausing to think about it to make sure you weren’t forgetting, “But then again he may have done it and not told me but usually he tells me when he does that sort of stuff so I don’t think you should worry.”
“You fill me with so much confidence, Y/N,” He stated bluntly in an unimpressed sarcastic monotone.
“Don’t worry Nick. I’ll protect you,” You chuckled, tossing your magazine and getting up and smoothing out your own dress, “He’ll have to get through me first.”
“Once again so much confidence,” He sighed, walking towards the door.
“Hey,” You protested, “I’ve saved your ass lots of times.”
“Sure you have,” He said sarcastically.
“You’re only lying to yourself,” You commented, holding your arms across your chest and narrowing your eyes at him.
“I just agreed with you,” He defended.
“You were being sarcastic,” You pointed out.
“Well, you’re always sarcastic so I thought why not give it whirl,” He countered with a large over exaggerated grin.
So defensive and I didn’t even mention the amount of time I’ve kicked your ass,” You commented, off-handedly as if he wasn’t supposed to hear.
“That’s because you didn’t give me any warning,” He played off as you grabbed your bag and he opened the door.
“Was ‘go’ not enough of a warning for you?” You countered, puling face.
He pulled a face, “Can you just?”
“Alright, alright. I’ll lay off you because you’re so nervous,” You gave in before leaning in and giving him a brief kiss, playing with his tie as you did but once you broke away you said, “Though piece of advice you may want to put on some chapstick before you spend all night kissing Danny’s ass. You’re a bit dry,”
He narrowed his eyes at you.
“And I’m done,” You grinned, “Let’s get moving. Danny doesn’t like it when his dates are late,”
With only a sigh as a response, you walked out the door first. He wanted for you to go ahead before slapping your ass in retaliation and to get you to move faster as he shut the door and headed down alongside you. You swatted at him playfully before your hands entwined as you headed down to his car so you could to the restaurant where Danny and Linda for that matter were waiting for you.
It was strange seeing Nick so nervous for something. He was such a suave and confident guy seeing him nervous was just so strange to you. He was definitely nervous to meet your Dad for the first time a couple of weeks ago but you think the fact that he had met everyone else there beforehand calmed him down. As he had some people on side, particularly Erin, Nicky, and Linda but you won’t lie and say Jamie didn’t have a positive affliction for him either. So that definitely helped with the nerves. Plus though intimidating your Dad is a very calm and collected person he judges on character and ultimately you knew Nick fundamentally was a good person so you didn’t worry too much about it.
Danny on the other hand you knew was going to be a different story. Danny was more impulsive, some say aggressive you say deeply passionate but no one could deny he was an incredible cop, one of the best. Though you like to say he is an even better brother. You and Danny were really close despite the fifteen year age gap between the two of you. You’re really close with all your siblings of course but you had a special relationship with Danny. He was like your best friend, brother and a second father all rolled into one. You were the baby of the family and he treated you as such. It was the same with Erin and Joe who are and were twelve and ten years older than you respectively.
It was just different with Danny though. When you were born Danny was around fifteen years old and was going through a really tough time. He was just lost and like a lot of kids was confused about where his life was going. It was just worst because Danny’s fiery personality meant he was just getting into trouble. And then your Mom went into labor a month early and Danny was the only one there because he had been suspended from school. He drove her to the hospital after only one driving lesson and stayed with her until your Dad got there. He was the first family member besides your parents to hold you. Your Mom told you that be burst into tears at the sight of you but Danny always forgets that part when he tells the story.
And after that, he cleaned up his act. Joined the force and the Marines respectively when of age and got together Linda. He says that holding you for the first time made him realizes that there was more to life than screwing up. Real fulfillment came from the ones you love. He said that you were so small that day and the world was so big and he just had to do his part to make it better for you. So you shared a special bond. You think that he found it easier to talk to you and tell you things because he knew that you wouldn’t judge him. And you did talk a lot. When he confessed to you about the PTSD and stuff you went to Linda and you Dad to get help for him. You like always were a little more reserved but if you were going to confess something it would be to Danny.
Danny was very important to you and you think because nick knew this was why he was so nervous. And if you were being honest you were a little too despite your cool and playful demeanor before.
When you introduced Nick to you family that was the first time you had ever done it. Introduce a guy to your family. Which consequently also meant this was the first time you were introducing a guy to Danny. And you really wanted Danny to like him. You were hoping that he would meet him at the same time as your Dad but Danny was suddenly taken out of town so he missed it. Nick, unlike your other family members, had never met Danny before. Just heard horror stories which are another reason why he was so nervous. So Danny had suggested that the three of you have dinner which you knew for Danny was just code for ‘I’ll interrogate him and you can eat dinner while I do it’ so you convinced Linda to come along as a protective barrier and as a comfort blanket for Nick. It would be less intimidating.
You and Nick had been dating for around nine months at this point. You had a kept it a secret for quite a while as he had just become your Sergeant which made the fact that you were dating even worse, job-wise, than when you were partners. You and Nick were infamous for bad timing. When you realized you liked him as more than a partner he had just finalized his divorce and clearly wasn’t ready to be an in a relationship. Nick says he realized he was in love with you when he was getting the divorce and while you were in your last relationship.
It wasn’t serious or anything but more serious than any of your other relationships but saying that all that really meant was that lasted longer than three months. You were always a bit weary of long term commitment which is why none of your relationship before Nick surpassed max four months and why none of them ever met your family officially.
You and Danny had discussed your lack of actual relationships a lot. He made you confront things about yourself which you wouldn’t have if he wasn’t there. Like a therapist. A small angry therapist. It was because of that conversation you realized you could accept your more than friends feelings for Nick and eventually tell Nick about how you felt.
You and Nick had been partners for over two years prior to dating, ever since he joined Special Victims back then. You started dating when he became your Sergeant and you got a new partner, Sonny.
Everyone would always you were a couple before you started dating when you were partners. Strangely, though you got much less of that now that you were actually dating. You think it was because you and Nick worked so well together.
You were very different but also very similar. Your whole relationship was formed on originally finding each other the most annoying people on the planet and teasing each other. Sure, it developed a mutual understanding and respect and then a friendship and then a very close relationship but you had assumed that was the limit. He was very by the book and work orientated, he wanted the job done and of course, he had his own temper. While you were much more relaxed when it came to things and rarely got angry but when you did everyone knew it was serious. You encouraged Nick to relax and he kept you in line. You balanced each other out and ultimately made each other better cops. But because of your differences, you never stopped teasing and arguing with each other like a married couple. You made each other laugh and smile, he understood and was willing to listen to your deep ramblings and you could always make him see the bright side of things. You could switch from playful to serious. You just had fun and loved being with each other. Could you really help falling in love, you think it was obvious in hindsight that the two of you were truly made for the other.
So when you finally started dating it truly was one of the nest days of your life. You were just so excited and you had never felt that way in a relationship before. You weren’t scared of hitting all of those big milestones anymore. Though you can admit nine months was a bit long to wait before introducing a guy to you family, But in your defense, you didn’t actually know when the right time was to officially introduce a guy as your boyfriend to you family. You probably would have waited longer if Danny had interrogated it out of you one Sunday lunch in front of everyone. He sensed something was off and he had been for a while but had waited because he had a feeling what it was and wanted to wait and do research.
You had admitted to him privately prior that you were seeing someone a couple of months before to Danny but you didn’t think much of it because you were always dating someone. You didn’t tell him who then but he got out at lunch.
“You’re not really nervous are, you?” You questioned, as you and Nick walked hand in hand still to the doors of the restaurant.
“No, are you?” He countered.
“A little,” You confessed.
“Why are you nervous?” He asked.
“Because if he doesn’t like you we’re over. And I would hate to see this end so soon.” You replied in dead serious tone.
You watched his face change dramatically.
“I’m sorry. I had too,” You giggled.
“I hate you,” He snapped while breathing in relief.
“Come on tough guy,” You giggled, as you pushed him through the door of the bustling restaurant first.
You and Nick had arrived before Danny and Linda so you got seated first. Which was a good thing as you defiantly needed to get Nick to relax a little more before they arrived.
“At least we aren’t late,” You commented, taking a seat as Nick slide in beside you.
“Does he not like it when people are late?” Nick questioned.
“People don’t like it when other people are late,” You quipped, “It’s rude,”
“Why can’t you help me through this stress instead of making it harder,” He asked.
“It’s more fun this way though,” You pouted, tilting your head in his direction.
“Seriously?” He responded.
“I joke through anxiety,” You said, “I know you already know this,”
“I do and I’m curious as to why you are nervous,” He chuckled.
“I really want him to like you as much I do but not really,” You confessed, “I just really want this to go well,”
“And why is that?” He probed, enjoying himself.
“Because I love you,” You stated.
“I wasn’t expecting a serious answer,” He commented.
“Well, you got one,” You smirked.
“I love you too,” He replied before kissing you again before pulling away and saying, “Plus it’s nice to see you worked about something,”
“You like seeing me in distress?” You accused.
“Of course not,” He said, rolling his eyes, “You know sometimes I feel like I’m more into you than you are to me. I mean look at you and then look at me. You could have any guy you wanted,”
“You’re not terrible looking, seen .you know.” You teased.
“I feel so good about myself,” He winked.
“You don’t really think that do you?” You asked.
“Of course I do,” He confirmed, “Like I said look at you. You’re gorgeous,”
“When I have a ton of makeup on like tonight,” You played.
“Even when you don’t have any makeup on. You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” He said sincerely, looking into your eyes.
You couldn’t help but blush.
“You’re really selling yourself short,” You insisted, playing with his tie, “I have always thought you were the handsome guy I’ve seen.Definitely the hottest cop I know,”
“It’s not that hard considering you’re related to half the police force,” He quipped which earned a playful hit from you, “You’re still blushing!”
“I can’t help it!” You stated, “You’re being all sweet and stuff, it’s so sickening. I’m embarrassed for you really,”
“You know you’re really cute when you blush,” He commented, biting his lip.
“Aren’t I always cute?” You countered, raising your eyebrows.
Nick rolled his eyes once again, licked his lips before leaning in for another kiss.
“Yeah, we better get all this PDA out the way before Danny comes,” You mentioned as he pulled away yet again.
“Is he not a fan of PDA?” Nick asked.
“Not when it involves his baby sister,” You corrected.
“Such a smartass,” He tutted, leaning back in his seat and looking at you with a smile.
“But you like that don’t you?” You teased.
“One more time?” He pouted.
“Fine,” You gave in, kissing him again.
You had intended for it to be brief. But lets just say the two of you got a little caught up with each other. You and Nick were like that. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other unless you were at work of course. It wasn’t in the way you would think, it wasn’t always sexual. You kissed a lot sure but mostly you just liked being able to grab hold of him whenever you wanted, because finally he was yours. And you just simply loved holding hand. To you it was way more intimate and romantic act than kissing and making out. There was just something about feeling the constant fireworks you felt whenever you touched.
“Ahem,” A voice said which caused the two of you to pull apart and look up..
“Danny. Linda,” You greeted, getting up so you could hug them, “Hi,”
“Hello,” Linda chuckled as you hugged her, “To the both of you,”
“Hi Linda,” Nick said.
“Danny,” You said again with a big smile as you hugged him.
“Y/N,” He said in sickly sweet tone.
“Danny,” You began once again, your arm still around him as you turned to introduce, “This is my boyfriend Nick Amaro,”
“Nice to meet you,” Nick jumped, extending his hand towards Danny.
“I’m sure it is,” Danny responded, taking his hand firmly and shaking it.
You watched Nick hand turn white because of Danny’s tight grip but he looked unfazed. After a brief moment of silence you all sat down. You asked Linda about the boys which handled the conversation side of things for about ten minutes. Throughout you could feel Danny’s gaze on the two of you but mostly on Nick. You and Nick like always were holding hands, it would have been unnatural for you not to. You kept squeezing his hand reassuringly. Everyone ordered quickly and things finally started at that point as soon as the waiter walked away.
“So how did the two of you meet?” Danny asked, suspiciously, eyeing the two of you up.
“On the job,” You stated annoyed because you knew that he knew this, “We were partners,”
“And what are you now?” He asked.
“I’m her Sergeant,” Nick replied.
“Do you sleep with all the detectives under your watch,” He snapped.
“No, pretty sure he doesn’t sleep with Carisi,” You countered.
“Danny,” Linda warned.
“Alright,” He sighed, “Tell me about yourself Nick,”
“Well…” Nick began.
After that point dinner transformed into an interrogation with fancy food and mood lighting. But luckily for you and Nick you think it went well. He was charming throughout, Linda loved him but no too much and you caught Danny slipping up his cold exterior a couple times when he found similarities between himself and Nick.
All and all you were convinced that Danny liked Nick but you had to wait until you were alone to ask him about it. Which happened when Nick left to make a phone call and Linda went to check on the boys at their sleepover.
“So…?” You prompted, as soon as they were out of earshot.
“So what?” He entertained, leaning back and taking a drink.
“Daniel,” You scolded.
“What do you want me to say?” He asked.
“Just tell me what you think,” You pleaded, leaning across the table.
“Why do you care so much about what I think?” He inquired.
“Because you’re my big brother and you’re important to me,” You replied, shaking your head at him in disbelief.
“And you are very important to me,” He smiled sincerely for the first time all evening.
“Your opinion matters to me,” You reiterated.
“What did Dad think about him?” He asked.
“He said as long as I’m happy he’s happy. Nick was a gentlemen and if he hurts me then we’ll see,” You repeated.
“Yeah I’m feeling the same way but if he hurts you I’m hanging him off the empire state building and letting go,” He smirked, raising his eyebrows.
“You like him,” You beamed.
“He’s alright,” He corrected.
“So you approve?” You asked.
“You don’t need my approval. Never have. Proved that when you dated a criminal in high school,” He reminded.
“He lifted some sunglasses as a bet and how do you know about him?” You informed and then asked.
“I know everything,” He said suspiciously.
“Sorry about that,” Nick smiled, sitting back down, “What did I miss?”
“Just sibling stuff,” Danny responded.
“Then I won’t ask more,” He said, smiling at you.
“Better not,” Danny commented, taking another swig.
The dinner ended after that. You were so excited, it was strange. It was like for the first time since Joe and your Mom, you felt content. There wasn’t this massive piece of your life missing anymore. It was a really good feeling.
“That was amazing,” You practically squealed as soon as the door of your apartment closed, “He loved you,”
“Sure did…I mean was…” He fumbled suspiciously, putting his hands in his pockets and tapping his foot nervously.
You turned and looked him up and down, suspiciously, yourself. Nick was never good at hiding his emotions or lying…to you at least…for that matter.
“Why what’s wrong?” You demanded, walking up to him and looking up at him.
“I can’t lie to you,” He began, avoiding your gaze but you could see the hurt in his eyes.
“Look at me,” You insisted, reaching up for his face, “What happened?”
“He told me to break up with you,” He revealed.
“He what?” You demanded, shocked.
“I couldn’t not tell,” Nick confessed, “He told me that I should ease out of it. You know distance myself from you and then end it,”
“When did he say this?” You asked in disbelief.
“When you were in the restroom with Linda,” He continued, as if he was deeply conflicted about telling you all this.
“I can’t believe he’s done this,” You sniffed, tears filling in your eyes.
“Hey,” Nick comforted, reaching for your face this time, “Are you okay?”
“No,” You stated, wiping them fiercely, “I’m pissed. How could he do this? He told me that he liked you,”
“He did?” Nick questioned, “Why would he say that to you?”
“Throw me off,” You spat, “That bastard,”
“He’s still your brother,” Nick reminded.
“I’m going kill him,” You fumed.
“Y/N, I only told you because I know i can’t do it,” He said.
“Break-up with me?” You filled in.
He nodded, “I know he’s your brother but I’m not going to throw this away because he tells me too, even if he is scary,”
“He’s not that bad,” You insisted, “But I can’t believe he is doing this to me,”
“Y/N, I don’t want to ruin your relationship with your brother. I know how much he means to you,” Nick began.
“But you didn’t ruin Nick,” You interrupted, taking his hands into your and leaning against his body, “He did. He knows how much you mean to me and you were perfect tonight. I can’t believe he would do this,”
“I thought he didn’t know about us,” Nick asked.
“He didn’t but before we got together I would talk to him about you and how much you meant to me without names of course. He was the first person to guess after we started seeing each other that I was dating someone. And I told him all about how much you helped me heal after everything I’ve been though and how you have helped me in ways that I didn’t even know I needed help. You’re one of the best things that ever happened to me. I love you so much,” You explained, tears spilling down your cheeks.
“I love you too,” Nick smiled, gently colliding his forehead with yours, “So much that I can handle him hating me for the rest of my life if it means I get to spend it with you,”
“You won’t have too,” You said stepping out of his reach, “I’m going to go talk to him,”
“No Y/N,” Nick began to argue.
“Nick it isn’t about him not liking you. Yeah, it was important to me but I don’t live to make others happy. I spent too much of my life already doing that. I live to make myself happy. I’m going to go talk about him interfering in my life. Telling you to break up with me is too far,” You stated, grabbing your coat and charging of the door.
“Do it tomorrow,” Nick argued.
“Why?” You countered.
“Because you’re angry right now and you need to think about it for a little longer,” He explained.
“When did you become all rational about anger?” You inquired dropping your bag and kicking off shoes and ultimately giving in.
“Second I saw you angry,” He chuckled, “You’re scary,”
“You don’t know the half of it,” You smirked.
“Let’s go to bed,” He suggested, “Might the last night we get too,”
“Not funny,” You commented as you walked past him into the bedroom.
“Just like you then,” He countered.
The next morning you weren’t any less angry despite Nick’s best efforts. It was Friday so you had to go to work and you knew Danny would be as well. But you couldn’t help but seethe about it all day. Nick kept a watchful eye on you to ensure you didn’t escape and release an unholy triad on Danny but to no avail. You slipped out at lunched and stormed down to the 54th precinct.
“What are you…” Danny asked in your direction as you charged into his squadron.
“Interrogation room two…now,” You ordered not even stopping as you left him in your wake.
He quickly obliged, something about your demeanour must have tipped him off. He walked in and took a seat and you slammed the door behind him.
“Hey that wall can’t any more slams,” He commented causally, “I do it too much already,”
“How dare you?” You asked.
“How dare I what?” He countered.
“Don’t give me that Danny!” You stated, “Nick told me what you said to him. You too him to break up with me,”
“He told you that?” Danny countered.
“Of course he did,” You said, “Because Danny he isn’t just going to dump me because my insane older brother tells him to,”
“But isn’t he worried that you might be as crazy as me?” He smirked.
“I’m not kidding Danny,” You spat.
“You’re really angry aren’t you?” He asked, folding his arms and looking up at you.
“Of course I am,” You sighed, “You told the man I love to break up with me,”
“You love him?” He asked.
“Yes, but that isn’t the point,” You sighed once agin getting frustrated, “What the hell were you thinking?”
“What the hell was your man thinking telling you what I said to him,” He said casually.
“Did you think he was just going to dump me because you threatened him?” You interrogated.
“Sort of,” He pouted, “I’m quite scary. When did he tell you what I said?”
“Last night,”
“Why did it take you so long to confront me?” He asked.
“Nick stopped me. He says that there was no point confronting you angry because we’re so close that doing it might ruin our relationship,” You explained, “He told me to wait and calm own a little,”
“Didn’t work,” He commented.
“He tried his best. Kept at the station all day,” You confessed.
“Really?” He questioned, surprised.
“Yeah,” You stated, confused by his reactions, “Why aren’t you defending yourself?”
“For what?” He asked.
“For lying to me or for telling my boyfriend to break up with me,” You reminded.
“Can’t defend the boyfriend part but I can defend the first bit. I didn’t lie,” He stated, “I liked Nick,”
“You did?” You questioned.
“Yeah he was a nice guy,” He clarified, “I think he’s great for you,”
“Then why did you tell him to break up with me?” You interrogated.
“Would you believe me if I said it was for fun?” He joked.
“No,” You stated, unwilling to participate and unimpressed.
“It was a test,” He finally revealed.
“A test?” You countered in disbelief.
“Yeah, a test,” He confirmed before explaining fully his reasoning, “I needed to make sure that he wouldn’t run away at the first sight of trouble. I know how much you like him. I needed to make sure he wouldn’t break your heart because there is a problem. Even a big one like an important family member not liking them.”
“By asking him to break up with me?” You accused.
“I knew he wouldn’t but I needed to make sure,” He elaborated, “And if he did he wouldn’t be worth your time anyway,”
“Why?” You demanded.
“Life is hard Y/N. You need someone despite any repercussions will tell you how it is. He knew how close we are and still told yous something that could potentially end a very important relationship for you. And he did that because he didn’t want to lie and because he really does love you. You clearly are as important to him as he is to you,” He explained sincerely, clearly speaking from a place of concern.
“I can’t believe you,” You commented, annoyed beyond belief at that point.
“I’ve always got your back,” He grinned gleefully, “Even when you don’t think I’m there,”
“I can’t even be mad at you,” You sighed, collapsing into the opposite seat in relief.
“Because you know it came from a good place?” He inquired, cheekily.
“Sure,” You said, rolling you eyes.
“You’re so relaxed now,” Danny observed.
“Now that I know my brother isn’t an insane interfering bastard, I’m sort of at ease,” You gave in, messaging your temple, “But you’re still freaking crazy. Couldn’t you have come up with a better way to test him?”
“But it wouldn’t have been as fun,” He smirked playfully before cackling with laughter.
“I’m going to kill you,” You threatened.
“I’ve lived a long life,” He chuckled.
“Can’t wait to tell Nick about this,” You breathed.
“Was he sacred?” Danny inquired.
“He was sad,” You corrected.
“At what?” He asked.
“The prospect of breaking up with me,” You reminded, as if it was obvious because it obviously was.
“Anyone else would be relieved,” He teased.
“Just for that I’m going to tell him you like him,” You smirked.
“Don’t do that,”
#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#svu#SVU fanfiction#svu imagine#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#SVUxbluebloods#bluebloodsxSVU#Nick Amaro#Detective Nick Amaro#nick amaro imagine#detective nick amaro imagine#Danny Reagan#danny reagan imagine#imagine#svubloods
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Imagine being Sonny’s sister and your boyfriend Jamie helping you reconnect with your family
(A/N: Sorry for the wait… a continuation suggested by @delnquents I hope you and everyone else enjoys this)
!WARNING: Reader has anxiety and family issues/Includes a scene with a therapist!
Continuation of an imagine you can find HERE
Imagine being Sonny’s sister and your boyfriend Jamie helping you reconnect with your family
Imagine being Sonny’s sister and your boyfriend Jamie helping you reconnect with your family
“How would you feel if we spent today's session talking about your family,” Your therapist suggested as soon as you sat down.
“How about we don’t?” You countered swiftly.
“Y/N,” She tutted, disapprovingly, “You can’t avoid the subject forever,”
“Fine,” You gave in reluctantly, shifting uncomfortably in your seat, “What do you want to know?”
“Do you get on with them?” She asked.
“Well enough,” You responded, quickly.
“What does that mean?” She countered.
“Depends on which family member we are talking about,” You replied.
“Remind me who is in your family,” She prompted.
“Are talking about just immediate family?” You asked to clarify.
“You can do extended if you would like,” She offered.
“Then we would be here all night,” You chuckled dryly, “I am Italian after all.”
“I forgot,” She smiled, “Just who you think is relevant,”
“Well, I have an older brother,” You began.
“And that’s Sonny?” She questioned.
You nodded.
“I also have two older sisters and their husbands and kids, there is my mom and dad and my Grandparents on my Dad’s side and my Nonna on my Mom’s,” You listed off.
“So why are you so averse to talking about your family?” She inquired gently.
“Well, I talk about Sonny,” You reminded, avoiding the question.
“I get the feeling that is because he’s the one you’re closest too,” She commented.
You nodded again.
“Why?” She inquired once again.
“What do you mean?” You responded.
“Why are you closer to Sonny than your older sisters for example,” She elaborated.
“We are closer in age. I’m the youngest of four he was the third. Grew up together. I don’t know,” You offered complacently.
“Well you grow up with you sisters, why aren’t you close to them?” She pointed out.
“We’re just different,” You shrugged.
“And you and your brother are similar?” She continued to probe.
“No, not really,” You sighed, “He’s just more open and I guess understanding. He’s different in his own way,”
“How so?” She probed.
“Like he’s more accepting of me,” You tried to clarify, though you don’t think you were doing a good job.
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“I’m not like the people in my family. I’m different and Sonny is the only one who accepts me for me,” You explained.
“What do you mean by that?” She pressed.
“I’m not the traditional girl my parents wanted to raise, I guess,” You explained, “And Sonny is the only one that is fully okay with that,”
“How are you different to them?” She asked.
“I come from a very traditional roman catholic family. It’s big, it’s loud and very religious. Two of my cousins are priests. My parents don’t understand why I don’t want to get married and have children straight away, they don’t understand why I want to wait. They don’t understand why I come to therapy you know and I every time I try to explain they ask why I can’t talk to them.” You explained.
“And why can’t you talk to them?” She asked.
“Because they don’t understand how their daughter can have such different ideas and just be so different,” You spluttered, “I don’t believe in God. I got kicked out of Sunday school because I asked too many questions. So they punished me and tried to put the fear the god into me. They didn’t get why I’m not loud and over emotional like they are. I’m quiet and an introvert. I express with action, not words. They just didn’t get it so they treated me differently. Like they were so confused by me constantly so it was just easier to keep to myself. Which meant I just spent my time alone overthinking and since I felt like such a disappointment to them I just started getting anxious about the things I say and stuff because I didn’t know what would set them off,”
“Do you think how they treated you contributed to your anxiety?” She asked bluntly.
“Maybe,” You sighed, “I can’t blame them for everything.”
“You said they treat you differently,” She picked up.
“Yeah,” You nodded.
“How so?” She pondered.
“They don’t seem as proud as me as they are my siblings,” You confessed.
“You’re a social worker who has been recently promoted and is often regarded as the best in her departments,” She recalled, “I can’t wait to hear what your siblings do,”
“My brother is a Detective and my sisters both have part time jobs,” You informed.
“And your parents treat them differently,” She prompted.
“Sisters are perfect daughters who are always around with their own kids while I’m not and my brother is my brother. He gets a free pass,” You explained, “But it isn’t even about that,”
“Then what is it about?” She asked.
“They’re normal and I’m not,” You answered simply, “They aren’t atheists, or anxious and they all want children as soon as possible,”
“You don’t want children?” She inquired.
“Now I do,” You smiled, “Since I met Jamie just not right now,”
“Did he change your mind about the subject?” She questioned.
“No, he just made me realize that I wanted kids and that I was just saying I didn’t because I thought no one would want to have them with a screw up like me,” You shrugged.
“You aren’t a screw-up, Y/N,” She reminded.
“Hmm,” You let out, “They don’t accept me but our relationship is getting better,”
“Yours and your parents?” She asked.
“Yeah,” You confirmed.
“Why is that?” She inquired.
“Jamie,” You revealed with a helpless smile, “He has this charm and this way of speaking that is really hard to resist, honestly I will never understand how anyone could hate him. I knew they would like him but they really like Jamie. They love him. They’ve literally told him that they’re so happy that we’re together because they were worried that I wouldn’t meet anyone with my ailments,”
“Why do you think they like Jamie?” She probed.
“He’s a good guy. Religious enough for them, smart, family orientated. Not to bad to look at. He’s just a great person,” You offered.
“Not because he treats you well or makes you happy?” She smiled sadly.
“I don’t know if they care,” You lied.
“Do you feel loved by them?” She confronted.
“Of course they do. I am their daughter,” You replied, “But the level varies. Usually, it’s normal amount that you would expect but then they get reminded that I don’t go to church or I get anxious. I can feel it go down. So when things are good I’m just waiting for the ball to drop,”
“And that makes you anxious,” She continued.
You nodded.
“How has it been going recently,” She asked.
“Better…” You admitted.
“And why is that?” She inquired, folding her legs and delicately chewing the end of her pen as she focused.
“Because of Jamie,”
Your session continued for around 40 more minutes after that. You continued to discuss the inner workings of your somewhat strained relationship with your family as candidly as you could manage. It felt awkward because you had been raised never to speak about family dysfunction outside of the actual family but that had been the case throughout going to therapy. It was hard to open up and talk about hard stuff.
It was an unexpectedly tense session so by the end of it, you were definitely exhausted. Which wasn’t good because you were about to go on a getaway to Montauk with your boyfriend, Jamie. In fact, he was waiting outside so as soon as you finished you could embark on your 4-hour drive down. Probably not the best idea but once again you didn’t think it was going to be like this, you thought you would discuss going on a semi spontaneous trip with your boyfriend for a few days, which is something that the both of you rarely did but since you had just been promoted and you were also both fast approaching your anniversary, your eighteenth month anniversary, which you wouldn’t really be celebrating if you weren’t going away.
You and Jamie like you said had been dating for around a year and a half at this point and it has just been amazing. He was sweet, sensitive, strong and funny plus to you, he is beyond the word handsome. Way too handsome for you but he didn’t think so apparently and he hated it when you say it. He truly is the best human being you’ve ever met. You just connected on this level that you had never experienced before. You were so different but it was also like you were two half of a whole. You loved being with each other and you hated being apart. You could do everything you’ve ever wanted and the best part of your day would still be when you met up with Jamie. Which usually was first thing in the morning as he was basically living in your apartment at this point.
You weren’t lying when you told your therapist that he has an ability to charm anyone. You knew that your parents would like him but you didn’t think that they would as much as they do. They love Jamie and unfortunately, you also aren’t lying when you say that they probably love him more than you, because it’s probably true. Being him definitely helped your relationship but you were still distant from them. Though Jamie encouraged you to spend more time with them. You introduced Jamie to them after three months of dating and you were introduced to the Reagans at six months for other reasons. But ever since Jamie met your parents you’d been going to your own weekly family dinners more often, though you tried to avoid them as much as you could.
You much preferred the Reagan family dinners and had attended every single one since you were first invited. You got on well with the Reagans and they had quickly accepted you into the family and now around a year on from when you officially met them, you were quite close. For the first time, you felt like you were apart of a family that accepted you completely, without judgment. You think it’s because none of them were the same, they were all black-sheep, like you, thrown together. There was no stereotype or expectation to adhere to.
You knew that Jamie didn’t always understand how you could be so distant from your family especially as he was so close to his own but he always tried. And he was very understanding of your anxiety, even though he hadn’t been close in contact with it before. You tried to keep it from him for the most part which he didn’t like. So to counteract that he always held your hand in public just in case you ever felt anxious.
“How was it?” Jamie asked, with a comforting smile as you slipped into the passenger seat.
Jamie was already dressed for the beach and the hot weather predicted. Wearing blue shorts and a white t-shirt with stripes of various colors as well as having sunglasses hanging off so they could easily be slipped on.
“Good,” You lied, wiping your face tactfully to make sure that you had got all the tears.
“Are you okay?” Jamie asked sympathetically, reaching out your hand because he always knew when something was wrong and when you were lying.
“A huh,” You said with an exaggerated nod before taking his hand and kissing it before turning and flashing a smile, “Promise,”
“Okay,” He sighed, not completely satisfied.
“Let’s get going, huh?” You suggested shaking the emotion off and faking it expertly, “We have an anniversary to celebrate,”
“Don’t you mean a promotion?” He smirked, as he started the car and began driving.
“Then it wouldn’t be a treat for the both of us?” You countered.
“Celebrating you is a treat for me,” He insisted.
“Anniversary celebrations are more romantic,” You reminded.
“You can make anything romantic if you try hard enough,” He commented.
“Can you now?” You entertained.
“Well, we don’t ever have to try,” He grinned, “It always feels romantic when I’m with you,”
“That wasn’t as smooth as you think it is,” You mentioned.
“Guess I’ll just have to try harder,” He winked.
“I can’t wait to see this,” You chuckled.
You and Jamie continue to chat for the next hour as you continued to embark on your adventure. After that, the conversation died down as you had taken an unexpected, impromptu nap. When you woke up you on your last hour of the journey.
“Look who's up,” Jamie said as you stirred.
“How long was I asleep for?” You questioned, stretching.
“Just under two hours,” He replied, looking at you briefly.
“I don’t know why I’m so tired,” You yawned.
“Especially since you went to bed at 9 last night,” He commented.
“I wouldn’t be going anywhere if I didn’t do all those double shifts last week,” You reminded.
“And I appreciate it,” He chuckled.
“Do you want me to take over?” You inquired.
“No, I’m good,” He insisted, “You might fall asleep at the wheel if your as tired as you claim,”
You just shook your head and settled into your seat.
“So do you want to talk about what’s on your mind?” He asked.
“What do you mean?” You questioned.
“Something is up,” He insisted.
“I’m fine,” You countered.
“No, you aren’t,” He countered sadly, “I can’t enjoy myself unless you’re okay,”
“Jamie, I’m ok…” You want to say.
“You aren’t okay,” He interrupted and rectified, “Come on Y/N, please,”
“My session was just a little more intense than I expected,” You finally gave in and offered, bowing your head.
“Can I ask what you talked about,” He probed gently.
“My parents mostly,” You confessed.
“Really?” Jamie said in surprise, he knew that you had tried adamantly, “That’s great,”
“Great?” You questioned.
“You had to talk about them eventually didn’t you?” He asked, “I mean you’ve been avoiding it forever so it’s good that you finally discussed it,”
“Didn’t have to be today though,” You huffed.
“Why not?” He asked.
“Because I don’t want to talk about it,” You said.
“Sometimes we have to feel bad to feel better,” He stated.
“But it isn’t going to get better,” You sighed, “No matter how much I try. I can’t change them, can I?”
“Maybe you don’t have to change them, maybe they are doing that themselves,” He counteracted.
“Do you know something I don’t?” You questioned, folding your arms.
“I think they have started to change in relation to trying to understand you,” He elaborated, “I think they have started to try and see things from your perspective,”
“Just because dinners are less tense doesn’t mean they have started to change,” You countered.
“Well, why do you think they are less tense then?” He inquired.
“Because they like you,” You replied, “Nobody can resist that Reagan charm,”
“Well, I can’t really argue with that,” He chuckled, “But it’s not just that,”
“But it is,” You insisted, “To them, you’re the best decision I’ve ever made,”
“Do you not agree?” He teased.
“Depends on the day,” You smirked.
“I know you say that I have a natural talent to ‘charm’ anyone,” He began, “But you have a gift of making whoever you encounter feel loved. You are so selfless that you give yourself to people and they pick up on it. I’ve seen it, Hell, I’ve felt it. You make people feel like they are important because you genuinely listen and take in what they say. I think it why you are so good at your job. The kids you work with haven’t had anyone tell them they are important or made them feel like they are. But then they meet you and from the second they do, you can see it in there eyes. You make them feel important. It’s one of my favorite things about you. It one of the many reasons I love you,”
“Jamie…” You went to say.
“Let me finish,” He insisted, “And it’s because of that and all the other things that make you the incredible person you are that I think that they are changing. I’m not the only one that is seeing all the good you do. They are too and I think they have made them try harder with you. And you may not see it because you are so sure that they hate you that you don’t even pay attention. But they don’t hate you. They love you so much. They just didn’t know how and I’m not excusing how they treated you before but I think they’ve realized that they can’t make you into who they want you to be. Especially not now because they are starting to appreciate the amazing person you are,”
“I don’t know what to say,” You let out, overwhelmed.
“They’ve told me that they feel bad and they want to try and understand,” He revealed.
“When?” You interrogated.
“Since you’re always late to dinner on the rare occasions I get you to go we have a lot of time to talk,” He confessed.
“Talk is just talk,” You played off, “They haven’t ever done anything to prove this,”
“Because they don’t know how and it’s not like you ever give them a chance either,” He commented.
“So it’s my fault,” You related.
“That isn’t what I’m saying and you know it’s not,” Jamie insisted, “They are so proud of you, Y/N. They just don;t how to express it because they didn’t expect it. They treat you different because you are so different and they didn’t know how to handle it. They realize that it wasn’t the best way now because they feel like they’ve lost their daughter.”
“You think they are proud of me?” You asked.
“I know they are,” He smiled, “You know when you were in the paper a couple of months ago for your work at the youth center?”
“Yeah,” You nodded.
“Your Dad has that article framed on his desk,” He revealed.
“How do you know that?” You inquired, “When did you go to my Dad’s work?”
“I had some business around there and I stopped by and saw it,” He offered, “And my Mom always asks how you are while I help her cook while I wait for you to get there,”
“So why can’t she tell me that?” You asked.
“When do you give her the chance?” He countered.
There was a silence between you.
“Maybe I should call them and let them know what we are doing?” You said.
“Okay,” Jamie nodded casually but you could tell he was happy for you, “I know they would want to hear about our plans,”
“Maybe I can if they want a postcard for their collection,” You continued, “They haven’t ever been down here,”
“I’m pretty sure they would love that,” Jamie smiled.
“I could maybe invite them to that award ceremony next week as well,” You suggested out-loud once again.
“Everyone else is coming,” Jamie grinned, “Why not invite them,”
“I’m going to do it,” You stated, grabbing of your phone, tapping away and putting it up to your ear, “Hey Jamie,”
“Yeah?” He prompted.
“I love you,” You said.
“I love you too,” He replied.
Your Dad was definitely surprised to get your call as you never ever called out of the blue like this, in fact, you can’t even remember the last time you called him. He seemed excited at the prospect of coming to your awards event even though you reminded him it was off for work. It was a nice conversation that branched off naturally onto your plans for yours and Jamie’s time away. It was nice, strangely.
“I have to go now Pa,” You announced after a good ten-minute conversation.
“Okay caro, Rimanga secure,” He waved off, “I love you,”
“I love you too,” You struggled.
“Say hi to Jamie and make sure you say yes,” He said before prematurely ending the call.
“What?” You went to say before you realized that the call had ended.
“So?” Jamie asked as you put the phone down.
“He and Mom will be there,” You retold.
“That’s great,” Jamie grinned as he turned the engine off as you had reached your hotel, “I;m so proud of you,”
Jamie leaned over for a hug which you automatically and eagerly and reciprocated.
“But…” You said as he pulled away.
“But what?” Jamie questioned.
“He said something about saying yes to you,” You explained.
Jamie's face reacted in a minimal way as if he was trying to hide something.
“And you know exactly what he is talking about, don’t you?” You confronted.
“Well, I wasn’t exactly planning on asking you this in a carpark,” He sighed, “But since I know now that you know something is up that you won’t drop it. I guess I will just ask.”
“This better not be what I think it is,” You commented, “There isn’t enough room in this car to react,”
“It’s not,” He ensured, “But it is a step in that direction,”
“Okay…” You dragged out.
“I was planning on asking you probably over a romantic candle lit dinner if you wanted to move in together,” He revealed.
“Oh Jamie,” You smiled, “That’s so sweet,”
You leaned over and kissed him.
“Well?” He asked as you pulled away.
“Oh right,” You spluttered, realizing you hadn’t actually answered, “Of course I want to move in with you,”
“Great, I’m just sorry I asked you here and not over that dinner or the beach even” He beamed helplessly before kissing you again.
“Don’t worry here was perfect,” You commented as you broke apart once again, “Even if it means that’s another thing you were right about,”
“What?” He questioned.
“We really can make anything or anywhere romantic,”
#Jamie Reagan#jamie reagan imagine#officer jamie reagan#officer jamie reagan imagine#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#blue bloods fandom#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#sonny carisi#Sonny Carisi is coming up#SVUxbluebloods#bluebloodsxSVU#imagine#svubloods
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Imagine Barba v Reagan custody trial PART ONE (TPELB SEVEN)
Masterlist With all the Parts HERE
Imagine Barba v Reagan custody trial PART ONE
“May I make an observation, Y/N,”
“It’s your hour,” You shrugged.
“Actually it’s yours,” She reminded with a small comforting smile, “Which is what I wanted to say. We've had a couple of sessions now Y/N and you haven't really discussed how you feel about what is going on for you at the moment,”
“I have my reasons,” You offered.
“Would you like to share those with me?" She inquired simply.
"Your services are being paid for by Mr. Barba which understandably could make you bias so I feat whatever I say could easily be misinterpreted into supporting him,” You elaborated.
“I’ve noticed that you rebel from anything involving your Father,” She observed.
“He’s not my Father,” You stated.
“Even the mention of him, you rebel,” She continued.
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat and looked around the room for the umpteenth time this session. You were in a yet another session with your court mandated therapist. She was nice enough and very good at her job. It took a lot of effort to deflect her questions and not reveal too much to her. You were weary about opening up but most of the time you ended up doing just that. You feared to have all your private thoughts and feelings aired out for your family to hear. You often used the excuse of her having a bias as a reason to deflect. It was clear bias, its how it works in the real world. Though you knew deep down that she obviously didn’t have one but it was a sufficient enough barrier to stop yourself from talking. You tried to get things out of her instead as your Law Guardian had just concluded the ‘discovery’ stage of your case which meant that she had interviews with all of you family members, teachers and anyone else who is in contact with you. Though you weren’t supposed to know this, you just researched it.
“Y/N,” She began in a soothing tone, “I’ve been doing this for a number of years now. It’s very common for the petitioner to pay for this service in this sort of case. I’ve managed to maintain unbiased in all the cases before yours. My sole job is to look at things objectively and ensure whatever is decided is what is best for the child or children involved. What do you think would make me bias in this case?”
“He’s very convincing,” You replied.
“So are the Reagans,” She responded.
“You’ve talked to them?” You asked, faking surprise.
She nodded, “I’ve talked with everyone directly involved at least once,”
“Really?” You questioned, confused.
“Usually I wouldn’t but due to the unique and complicated nature of this case, your law guardian thought it would be best for me to have context so when I put forward my professional opinion it would be ensured to be in your best interest,” She explained.
“Is it really that unique of a situation?” You asked.
“Long lost parents are extremely rare,” She chuckled, “In fact, this is my first ever case where it has happened.”
“Should I feel special?” You muttered.
“No,” She smiled comfortingly once again, “You should feel special because there a lot of people that love you very much and what I gathered from talking to them is that they just want the best for you. Granted both sides have very different ideas of what is best for you,”
You just nodded before looking away.
“Y/N, I’m getting the feeling that this rebellion against your Father isn’t because you don’t like him, I think you do like him, I think you do it because you don’t want to feel like that you’re betraying your family,” She revealed.
“I don’t like him,” You insisted.
“You can like a person and not like their actions. They aren’t mutually exclusive,” She reassured.
You pulled a face.
“I don’t know how I feel about him,” You gave in and finally confessed, “Sometimes I hate him and sometimes I’m okay with him but I don’t want to live with him,”
“And that’s for definite?” She asked.
You nodded.
“I don’t know why everyone keeps asking me if I’m sure or not. Would you want to live with a complete stranger?” You countered.
“I wouldn’t,” She agreed, “But hypothetically say if he did things in the way you wanted them. By getting to know you first and communicating with your family. Would you consider living with him then?”
“No,” You replied, “If that were the case maybe weekend stays or something but primarily I would like to stay with my Grandfather.”
“So there is no circumstance where you considered living with your Father?” She inquired.
“Yes,” You confirmed, “Unless circumstances completely changed and I had known him my whole life,”
“Are you angry at him?” She asked out of the blue.
“I’m just confused as to why he doing things this way when he had other less drastic options,” You replied honestly, “I’m upset, confused and angry,”
“Do you hate him?” She asked.
“No,” You admitted, “I wanted to for you know for putting me through this mess but I can’t for some reason,”
“It’s a parent thing,” She chuckled, “No matter how much you dislike what they are doing. You still love them because they're your paren,”
“I’m not familiar with parent things,” You commented.
“I know this is a new world for you. Having an actual parent and I understand it’s going to be hard for you to adjust. But you will eventually.” She sympathized.
“I’ve never needed a parent,” You commented, “My family has always been enough,”
“I understand Y/N and I’m not taking away from what they have done. They have clearly raised a brilliant, intelligent and talented young lady. And there is no doubt that they haven’t given you everything you’ve ever needed nor does anyone think they are inadequate in any way,” She reassured, “But I just get the impression that sometimes you have wondered what it would be like to be like an average kid.”
“And what if I had?” You countered.
“It would be okay,” She smiled, leaning forward in her seat to you, “Nobody would blame you for doing it or even thinking about it on occasion. We all do it.”
“Do what?” You asked.
“Think about how our lives could be different if certain things weren’t like they were,” She elaborated.
“What do you think about then?” You asked.
“I think about if I had become am Artist like I wanted to when I was a teenager or what my life would be like if I had stayed with my college boyfriend,” She offered, “What about you?”
“If my Mom was alive mostly,” You confessed, “And what my life would be like if my Dad had been in my life,”
“You don’t talk about your Mom much,” She commented.
“I have my reasons,” You said once again.
“Do you miss your Mom, Y/N?” She probed gently.
You shook your head sadly.
“You don’t seem so happy about that answer,” She observed.
“I try. I really do,” You sighed, “But I can’t miss her like everyone else does. And it’s frustrating because no matter how much I hear about her. I just don’t feel connected to her and it feels like there is this big part of me that’s missing because she’s not here. It’s very confusing so sure I wish she was here but I don’t miss her. I don’t remember having her or having this part of me and you can’t miss what you don’t remember having,”
“That must make it hard for you,” She sympathized.
“Not really,” You lied, “I just deal,”
“I talked to your English teacher yesterday,” She announced after a brief silence.
“Okay,” You replied, confused.
“She talked about a letter you wrote to your Mom,” She continued.
“I gave it to her by accident,” You excused, “I was inspired by her assignment and I was just compelled to write it,”
“Do you have it still have it?” She asked.
“Why?” You countered.
“She said it was very moving and revealing, not to mention well written,” She informed.
“I shredded it,” You admitted, “It felt good to write it though,”
“That’s good,” She smiled.
“I guess,” You shrugged, uncomfortable once again.
“What do you think your life would be like if your Mom was alive?” She asked.
“Different,” You stated.
“Are you ready for things to be different, Y/N?” She asked.
“I don’t know if they will be yet,” You commented.
“I think it will be regardless of what happens,” She insisted, “Your life isn’t ever going to be the same,”
“Why do say that?” You questioned.
“Because I got the impression that regardless of what is decided your Dad going to fight to be a part of your life,” She responded, “It’s just a question of when you’ll let him in,”
The session quickly finished after that. She told you that she would see you soon at the trial. It seemed like your whole life as it drew closer was consumed by the trial. It was the only thing on your mind. You’d been away from you family for months only surviving a couple of visits a week. You just wanted it all to be over but on the other hand, you feared that the trial would end in the way you feared it might.
The next day, you were scheduled to see your trial judge for a private meeting in his chambers. So you went down to the courts with your Law Guardian Garret and Will. Judge Barker was running late so Garret through it would be a good idea to get you familiarized with the court room and take the time to talk you through what will happen.
“I imagine you’ve been in lots of courtrooms,” Garret commented as you raced to the top of the empty court room and took a seat in the witness box, both of them following closely behind.
You nodded, “I used to come with my Aunt Erin all the time,”
“So I guess I don’t need to go through much,” He smiled.
“Not really,” You agreed, “Why are three desks?”
“Well, unlike most cases which had two. Child custody cases have three parties which mean they have three desks. One for me and you, one for your family and one for Mr. Barba,” He explained.
“Which one are we?” You inquired.
“Doesn’t really matter but typically I go for the middle one,” He informed.
You nodded in understanding before darting your eyes around the room, as if you were soaking it in. You could see it all from your slightly elevated position in the witness box.
“Do you have any more questions for Garret?” Will asked, approaching you and leaning against the box in front of you.
You shook your head.
“Are you still okay with going on the stand?” Garret asked, taking a step forward himself, “Because of you…”
“No, I want to,” You interrupted to insist.
He nodded and was about to say something else when Judge Barker’s secretary popped his head around the door to announce that he was ready for you. You, Garret and Will quickly head back down the corridor towards the office. They assured you once again that it was nothing to worry about before ushering you in.
“Ahh, you must be Y/N,” He smiled as you stepped into the room and closed the door behind.
Judge Barker was a tall burly man with a graying bread. He was sitting at his desk and watching you intently, still in his robe.
“It’s nice to meet you, your Honour,” You greeted, walking over and extending your hand to him.
“The pleasure is all mine,” He grinned before gesturing for you to take a seat.
“I’ve been hearing a lot about you young lady,” He began.
“You have?” You questioned.
“Well, I should say reading a lot about you,” He clarified, with a friendly beam.
“Oh,” You let out with a little jump in your seat.
“You are quite an impressive young lady,” He complimented, “Very much like your mother,”
“You knew my Mom?” You questioned, surprised.
“Everyone knew your Mom,” He chuckled, “She was a firecracker. Her departments ADA had a very hard time controlled her,”
“You dealt with criminal cases?” You asked.
“I did for twenty years,” He confirmed.
“Why did you change?” You probed.
“Well, my son went through a divorce and I thought it was handled badly by the presiding judge so I decided I couldn’t let that happen to others,” He explained.
“That’s sweet,” You smiled.
“So, should we get down to business?” He asked.
You nodded.
“I bet you're tried of being asked who you want to stay with, huh?” He asked.
“Definitely,” You agreed adamantly.
“I have a pretty good idea of what you want already,” He said, “I’m also sure that you know that the law is hardly on your side with this one,”
“I know,” You said sadly, “I just hope you see the special circumstances in this case. One of them being what I want,”
“That will be a very important part of my judgment,” He assured.
It wasn’t too long of a meeting as Judges are very busy people. He assured you that he was ultimately going to act in whatever way was best for you. You got the feeling that he was being truthful with you so his sentiment somewhat instilled confidence in you.
Your meeting with the Judge marked a week until the trial started. You can’t even decide if that week went quickly or not. Time seemed to go in this strange wrap were it both went fast and slow depending on the time of day. Nor could you decide whether or not you wanted it to go faster or slower.
You just wanted to go home. You didn’t think you would every miss the musky old man smell of your Grandpas house or Pops singing in the morning. You missed your room and feeling connected. You missed going to family dinner every week and the cleaning up party you all had afterward. You missed being confused by whatever sports game they had on. You just missed home and your home was your family.
“You ready kid?” Will ask, as you stopped before the door of the courtroom.
“Nice suit,” You quipped, trying to be causal.
“What can I say, I get dressed up for my ladies,” He winked playfully.
“You just look weird,” You continued to probe.
“I wear a suit every day to work,” He defended.
“I don’t pay attention to you,” You reminded.
“I bought this tie for you,” He informed in mock offense.
“I appreciate it,” You smiled, gripping his arm harder, “I don’t know if I want to go in,”
“You can leave whenever you want,” He reminded, “You don’t have to be there the whole time. Your the first witness so at first you’ll have to wait in the witness room and then you can sit with Garret at the desk,”
“Then why did you bring me to the courtroom and not the witness room?” You asked.
“I thought you would like to take a look at everyone in there so it wouldn’t be so scary when you went on the stand,” He explained, “Plus I know a couple people you want to see are already in there,”
“Can I?” You asked, hopefully.
“I’m not going to let anyone stop you,” He promised, “Not today,”
You finally let out a breath before walking quickly walking into the courtroom. It was bustling as everyone got settled before the Judge sat. You could feel eyes on you. As it was a family case it was private to the public so everyone in the room was familiar to you but you didn’t care. You just kept walking forward towards the bench until you saw the faces you were looking for.
“Grandpa,” You finally let out when you saw your Grandpa, who was standing by his desk, his back was to you so you saw him first.
“Y/N?” Your Grandpa questioned quickly, spinning around as if he didn’t do it fast enough that he would miss you.
“Hi,” You beamed before running up to him and engulfing him into a hug.
“Hello,” He chuckled, holding onto you tight as he bent down so he could be at your level, “I was wondering when I would see you,”
“I came looking,” You informed, clinging onto him tightly.
“I got the feeling,” He smiled.
“I miss you so much,” You sniffed, finally letting go.
“I miss you too but it will all be over soon I promise,” He whispered in your ear, still holding onto to you.
“But what happens when it does?” You questioned.
“We will figure it out,” He promised, rubbing your back, “Like always because we are a team,”
“Are we still a team?” You asked.
“We always will be no matter where we are or who we live with. We will always be together no matter what,” He insisted.
You pulled away and he wiped your tears.
“There are some other people that are excited to see you,” He informed, pointing behind you.
You turned around to see your whole family behind you. You took turns hugging them all. They all promised you that it would be okay but they hugged you tight as if it would be one of the last times they would be able to. You wanted to stay for longer but Will motioned to you that it was time to go before everything started. He was standing in front of you and then proceeded to circle the room in a different path so you could meet at the door. You clung on as soon as you could before you had to leave. Your families lawyer began to talk so they became immediately distracted.
You turned to leave and took a couple of steps, keeping your eyes on the floor so no one could see your tears and because you did you collied with someone. Someone with really fancy shoes, the sort of shoes you Grandpa wore to events and funerals.
“I’m sorry,” You quickly apologized, looking up.
“Y/N,” Mr. Barba greeted.
You were shocked to see him but couldn’t let out any words. You were flustered and didn't know what to do. It wasn’t like you had anything to say to him anyway.
“I have to go,” You spluttered, walking away quickly, not looking him in the eye.
“You don’t…” He began to say but you didn’t hear the rest as you walked away so
You sped out the room quickly and obviously, you looked a bit startled because Will asked if you were okay. You lied and said that you were okay and you both headed into the witness room. Will came and sat with you and ensured that he would be the courtroom when you got up and that you could look at him if you didn’t know where to look. You guess he knew that you tended to zone out when Garret explained court procedure.
Like Will had said you were the first one to be called. Time definitely seemed to slow when you took the walk down the corridor to the court and when you finally got in and were escorted to your seat. Once again you could feel eyes on you. You didn’t think you would have trouble finding someone to look at but you had so you were glad you could look at Will. As you took a seat you flashed a smile to your families side as you glanced over them.
It was arranged like Garret had said. He was in the middle while your family was on the right side and Mr. Barba and his lawyer were on the left. You avoided looking at the left. You just knew that you couldn’t look at him. You were too upset and you were filled with all these emotions and sure you weren’t as angry as before the letter but you had the feeling that you would be again by the end of it.
As there were three parties it meant that you were being questioned by three attorneys. They all played softball with you as nobody wanted to be seen as putting pressure on the kid in question, nobody wanted to look like the bad guy. Garret and your families lawyer just asked you to reiterate what you wanted.
“Y/N, you’ve told us what you want,” Your Grandpa’s lawyer began, “Would you mind telling us why you don��t want to live with Mr. Barba,”
“I don’t know him,” You replied honestly, “Not well enough anyway. We were starting to get close before all of this happened but really we’re strangers. He just walked into my life as someone that my Aunt worked with. Not my Father,”
“Is that all?” He prompted.
“And I don’t agree with how he’s done this. My family was willing to compromise with him. They are really open people and they just want the best for me. If I said I wanted to get to know him they would work to make that happen because they don’t have an alterer motive. They just love me and I love them so so much. To be honest I’d probably be more willing to get to know my him if he hadn’t done things like this,”
“What do you mean by that?” He continued.
“I mean there is a reason I haven’t had any contact with him since I found out he was my Father. It’s because of the way he has done this. He has taken me from my home, my life, my routine and most importantly my family.” You clarified, finally turning to look your Father in the eye as you began to plead with him. “I understand that it isn’t fair for you but what you’re doing isn’t fair on me. I get it, I can’t imagine what it must be like to find out you had a kid that you didn’t know about. And I know to make up that you want to start trying but this isn’t how it works. You don’t instantly become a parent and maybe that’s why you’re doing this because you don’t know how actual parents would approach this. Because parents don’t get to be selfish which is what your choices are. You’re being selfish and parents are supposed to put their kids first,”
“Thank you, Y/N,” He nodded, “No further questions,”
“Thank you,” You said impulsively as he walked away.
“Hi Y/N,” Miss Hennessy, Mr. Barba’s lawyer, said as she got up from her seat and approached you.
“Hi,” You let out wearily.
“I’m going to keep this quick. I know how scary it can be up there,” She smiled.
“I’m fine,” You insisted.
You won’t say that you were as cordial with Mr. Barba’s lawyer than you were with Garret and you families attorney. You were a tad sharp with her because you wanted it over as quickly as possible with this. You think you did a good enough job with redirecting all your answers back to the point that you didn’t want to live with Mr. Barba.
“Y/N, how do you feel about your Mother?” She asked suddenly.
“What does she have to do with this?” You countered.
“Your honor,” Garret said standing up.
“Answer the question,” Judge Barker instructed.
“Depends,” You offered.
“She is the reason we are here. She didn’t tell anyone who your Father was and then she died without saying anything,” She explained, “So in that sense how do you feel about her?”
“I can’t really comment on her and her actions. I’m sure she had her reasons,” You replied, “But I do feel bad,”
“For yourself?” She probed.
“For Mr. Barba,” You clarified, “Like I said I can’t imagine how hard this is,”
“So you sympathize with him?”
“To an extent from an outsiders position. But in mine, like I said again. I think it’s selfish to tear apart my life to try and fix a wrong that happened to him,” You answered.
“But do you understand where he is coming from?” She inquired.
“Not really,” You confessed, “There were other ways of doing this. And I’ve said them a couple of times already,”
“Are you upset?” She asked.
“Of course,” You reiterated, “I’m tried. I want to go home and I’m really sorry Mr. Barba. I really am but my home isn’t with you. I’m really sorry that my Mothers actions stopped you from getting to be my Father. And you may be my Father by blood but you aren’t my Dad. I wish you were but I grew up without a Dad and making me live with you won’t magically make you one. The closest thing I’ve had to a Dad is my Grandpa.”
“You’ve always wanted to know who your Father was, haven't you?” She asked, unfazed.
“Yes, it’s natural to be curious, right?” You responded.
“Of course,” She agreed, “But it must have been extra hard on you as you didn’t have either parent,”
“My family made it easier,” You smiled, glancing back at them.
“But they can’t do that all the time can they, can they?” She inquired.
“No, but they try their best,” You nodded.
“But it doesn’t always work does it?” She continued.
“What are you getting at?” You asked.
“I’ve read the letter you wrote to your mother,” She informed.
“That was private, how did you get that?” You demanded.
“Y/N, why don’t you tell us what you wrote about how you feel sometimes when you are with your family.” She inquired.
“That isn’t relevant,” You insisted.
“I think it shows that you need an actual parent in your life,” She said.
“That isn’t about my Dad. It’s about my Mom,” You informed.
“You’re honor don’t you think that enough? Is any of this relevant?” Your families lawyer stood pup and questioned.
“She’s bullying her into saying what she wants,” Your Uncle Danny suddenly interrupted.
“Danny!” Erin scolded.
“It’s true,” He insisted.
“Your honor all my questions are relevant. I’m showing that the perfect picture that they are trying to portray isn’t a hundred percent accurate. I’m not denying that they haven’t done a good job. I’m just saying that there are some issues that need to be addressed,” Miss Hennessy tried to
explain.
“Like what?” Danny demanded.
“How about the fact that you’ve been lying to her about her Mother’s death?” Mr. Barba suddenly got up and accused, glaring them down.
“You want to talk about lies?” Your Aunt Erin countered, enraged, standing up herself now, “How about the fact that you’ve lied to everyone about not knowing that Y/N existed until a few months ago? I know for a fact that my sister called you when she found out she was pregnant to let you know and I can prove it too because I recorded it,”
#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#svu#svu imagine#SVU fanfiction#blue bloods fandom#SVU FANDOM#SVUxbluebloods#bluebloodsxSVU#the people erika left behind#mini series#rafael barba#rafael barba imagine#ada rafael barba#ada rafael barba imagine#rafael x daughter#Frank Reagan#frank reagan imagine#Jamie Reagan#Danny Reagan#Erin Reagan#Joe Reagan#Reagan#jamie reagan imagine#danny reagan imagine#joe reagan imagine#imagine
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Imagine not wanting to tell your fiancé Jamie that you were injured on the job
(A/N: For @samanthaofanarchy . I hope you enjoy this. Sorry, it took me so long but I made it extra long for you and for making everyone wait for so long. Expect a Sonny request in the next few days to make up for the all the long breaks. I hope you all enjoy!)
Imagine not wanting to tell your fiancé Jamie that you were injured on the job
“Come here…” You shouted after your fleeing suspect.
Your suspect then quickly turned and slashed at you thoughtlessly.
You jumped back automatically and missed it by inches. You stumbled slightly on the rocky surface. You looked up after milliseconds of getting your bearings, you looked up only to find your knife wielding suspects coming for you once again. You delivered a swift punch that caused him to back up but it was momentary, he came at you again but you blocked his hand quickly holding it above your heads and struggled violently for a few seconds. He pushed hard and so did you in defence. He let out what sounded like a growl before kicking your legs causing you to stumble again.
And this time when you looked up you didn’t have time to dodge the knife. It slammed into your torso and ripped your skin.
“Son of a bitch,” You cried as you clutched your side as he retracted the knife.
In a second of pure adrenaline and anger, as you continued to clutch your side, you delivered a fast and impactful kick to the nether regions, which caused him to fall to floor howling in pain. You swore loudly and limped up against the wall, stumbling down the ally in an attempt to get away, in case he got up again. You weren’t going to be able to defend yourself again.
You heard Sonny reach your suspect and quickly handcuffing him but he left him attached to a fence to search for you. He must have seen the bloodied knife as he called for an ambulance and backup into his radio.
“Y/N!” You heard Sonny shout frantically as the noisy blast from the bullet subsided and the cackle from his radio as he finished his, “Y/N!”
“Over here,” You hissed, loud enough for him to here through clenched teeth after several failed attempts at it.
“Oh my God, Y/N,” He called as he came speeding down the alleyway that you had stumbled down, reaching your side fast and kneeling beside you, “What the hell happened?”
“The bastard got me. I was blocking his knife and he kicked me shin and made me stumble.” You retold, breathing heavily as you awkwardly clutched your slashed torso.
“It looks pretty deep Y/N,” He commented, taking off his jacket and pressing it into your wound.
“God dammit,” You breathed heavily.
“The ambulance is on its way, okay? Everything is going to be okay!” He reassured.
“It better be!” You cried.
“Y/N, you’re bleeding a lot,” He commented, as he pressed harder in an attempt to stop all the blood.
“Oh really?” You snapped, as pain vibrated through you, “I didn’t notice! It’s not like it’s pouring out of me!”
“It’s going to be okay,” He comforted, as the sound of the ambulance entered the atmosphere.
“I’m sorry,” You panted breathlessly, as you shifted out of your leaning position against the wall to lying flat on the rocky ground.
“It’s fine,” He chuckled, “You’ve just been stabbed. I think I can forgive you for being a snappy,”
“You’re right,” You winced as you clutched onto his forearm to help deal with the pain, “Why am I even apologising? You should be apologising to me, for not running fast enough!”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep up with two track stars,” He apologised jokingly.
“Good,” You whispered, wearily, your eyes suddenly becoming heavy.
“No, Y/N. You’ve hot to stay with me!” Sonny began to say panicked as you heard footsteps began running towards you both with impressive speed.
“But I’m so tried,” You let out, your eyes becoming increasingly heavy.
“Y/N,” You heard Sonny say again as his voice became distant as he moved away to allow the EMTs to cater to you.
You were only out for ten minuted before slipping back into consciousness. You were in the back of an ambulance with the sirens blaring. There was a man standing over you and Sonny was sitting by your side.
“Thank god, you’re awake,” Sonny breathed, grabbing hold of your hand as the ambulance sped through the streets to the hospital, “We’re almost there. I’m going to call Jamie, okay? He’s going to be there,”
“Jamie?” You questioned confused, your vision still blurry.
“You know? Your fiancé Jamie?” He reminded, his voice filled with concern and panic.
“No,” You said.
“What?” He questioned.
“Don’t call him,” You insisted.
“ You don’t want me two call him? Is that what you said? Why not Y/N, you aren’t making sense?” Sonny questioned in quick succession.
“Don’t call. Call Danny,” You elaborated, you eyes becoming heavy.
“Danny?” He probed, “Jamie’s brother?”
You nodded slowly in weak confirmation before slipped back into darkness of being out of consciousness.
You seemed to slip in and out of consciousness for the next half an hour add you reached the hospital and treated. Though you stayed under for the most part as you only remember being awake and aware for a few seconds each time before slipping under again.
When you became fully conscious again the pain had subsided partially and you could feel the bandages that were tightly wrapped around your torso. You were also in a hospital room and Sonny was standing in the corner on the phone.
“Y/N,” He sighed as turned back to look at you after getting off the phone.
“Hello to you too,” You winced as you shifted slightly in your position and while he walked back to your bedside.
“How are you feeling?” He inquired gently.
“Like I've just been stabbed,” You quipped.
“Nice to see that being stabbed doesn't effect your attitude,” He countered.
“Hmm,” You sighed, settling not so comfortably onto the bed, “How long have I been out?”
“Only half an hour,” He informed.
“Explains why these meds haven’t kicked in yet,” You breathed.
“It could have been much worse I hope you know that,” He pointed out.
“But it wasn’t,” You reminded, “Are you the only one here?”
“Yeah,” He nodded, nervously, “I haven’t called your family yet and I stopped the hospital from calling too,”
“Why?” You questioned.
“Because on the way here you were babbling about calling Danny and not Jamie and I didn’t know what you were saying. They said that you weren’t in any real danger so I thought it would be best to wait and see what you wanted when you woke up,” He explained.
“So, you haven’t called Jamie?” You asked.
“I’ve only called the Lieu,” He confirmed.
“Thank God,” You sighed in relief.
“Why don’t you want me to call him?” He asked confused.
“You know how he gets,” You began, putting your hand to your forehead, “He gets all worked up and worried. I don’t want him to stress out even more you know. It’s been a tough year for him, you know? I don’t want to bother him even more. Remember how he was when I fell out the window last year with the suspect? And he’s away on break right now with some of his old friends and he’s having a lot of fun. I don’t want him to rush all the way down here”
“Y/N, you know it’s because he loves you so much! He can’t see you hurt just like you can’t see him hurt.” Sonny said, shaking his head at you, “Plus it’s hardly falling through the window if you charge for it. It’s more like jumping,”
“Details,” You shrugged off, “This isn’t that serious anyway,”
“You were stabbed,” He reminded.
“But it doesn’t feel like it though,” You played off before offering, “It feels more like I was like lightly punctured,”
“What’s the difference?” He inquired.
“It’s less serious,” You nodded.
“Y/N,” He began in an exasperated tone.
“Sonny,” You interrupted, “I know it seems like this is serious but trust me it’s not as bad as you think it is. I bet you I won’t even have to stay the night. They’ll send me home in a couple hours with some pills and tell me to take it easy for a couple days,”
“Well, I know Lieu gave you the next couple days off obviously,” He commented, “But I think you’ll have to stay.”
“And if they do I’ll call Jamie but if they don’t you just have to keep your mouth shut,” You waged.
“I don’t know if I can do that,” He sighed.
“Come on, you’re sure right?” You insisted.
“I am,” He gave in, shaking your hand in accordance.
After that, he went to go find the doctor and he got him to examine you. He gave you a quick inspection and told you that you were very lucky as apparently if it had been a couple inches in any other direction it would have hit a major organ and you would have suffered major damage. But it hadn’t it was however pretty deep which explains all the blood. He said that it would take around six weeks for the wound to heal but you would have to take it easy for the next few weeks. Especially for the next few days, you shouldn’t move that much as it may cause more damage. And unfortunately, that was why he wanted to keep you in for a day or two and then set you on home, to self-care. Coming in for a check every week or so.
“Do you want me to call him or should I?” Sonny asked smugly after the doctor left.
“We aren’t calling,” You stated.
“I thought we had a deal,” He reminded.
“Well, since I’m the stabbing victim I get to decide,” You countered.
“I thought you weren’t stabbed,” He smirked.
“I’m the lightly punctured victim then,” You corrected annoyed.
“Let me call someone,” He pleaded, “What about you parents?”
“On a cruise somewhere,” You informed, “You won’t be able to reach them,”
“Then who?” He questioned.
“Call Danny,” You gave in, “He’s the only Reagan I can trust not to make a big deal out of this,”
“I’m not happy about this,” Sonny commented.
“That makes two of us,” You chuckled before stopping as it made your side hurt.
In about fifteen minutes after Sonny called Danny for you, Danny was running down the hall shouting at some nurses. He actually ran past your door. Then he doubled back, shaking off some nurses.
“I’m family,” He stated as he strode into your room, the disapproving nurses still following him, “Can you tell them?”
“Yeah, he’s my um…brother,” You agreed.
They nodded and walked off after that.
“Can you go anywhere without making a scene?” You joked.
“They kept saying it was family only,” He huffed, “I tried explaining that you’re basically my little sister but apparently you’re an only child,”
“I am,” You reminded.
“That doesn’t matter,” He insisted, “What the hell have you done to yourself? I get a call from this guy telling me you’re in the hospital but I can’t tell anyone and I have to get here as soon as possible.”
“I was lightly punctured while trying to arrest a suspect,” You explained in the simplest terms.
“What?” Danny asked confused, looking at Sonny.
“She was stabbed,” He clarified.
“You were stabbed!’ He exclaimed, his whole demeanour changes, “Kid, what the hell was you thinking?”
“That I was going to get stabbed,” You offered.
“My God,” He breathed, giving you hug and a kiss on the cheek, “You’re okay though,”
“Yeah, it didn’t hit anything major,” You reassured, “I’ll be here for a day max and then I’m on bedrest for the next couple of days. Desk duty for a couple weeks,”
“That’s good,” He breathed relieved, “I would have killed you if you had died,”
“Thanks,” You struggled.
“Have you called Jamie yet? Is he on his way? What about everyone else?” He asked continuously.
“No, no and no,” You responded, “You’re the only person I have told,”
“Why?” He demanded, genuinely confused, “Why isn’t everyone here? You should know that this isn’t how we Reagans do things when someone in hospital,”
“I know, it’s just that I don’t want to bother anyone you know? It isn’t that bad. It’s not like I was shot or I’m dying or anything.” You excused.
“But aren’t they going to find out anyway?” He questioned.
“Not if I deceive them and hide it from them?” You stated.
“Is that your plan?” He questioned sceptically.
“Yeah,” You stated obviously, “Here’s the thing. It’s Monday. If I take it easy on Friday night which is when Jamie comes back. I’ll be good enough and in six weeks when it’s all healed and stuff I’ll mention it,”
“You know how crazy you sound, right?” Danny questioned.
“You’re lucky I told you,” You snapped, “If you didn’t have our spare key you wouldn’t know either,”
“So, you want me to play along with this?” He sighed.
“All you have to do is not mention it,” You commented.
“I don’t understand why I’m going along with this,” Danny said out loud to no one in particular besides himself.
“For the entertainment value,” Sonny offered, “It's why I do it,”
“Hey, we wouldn’t be here if you could keep up,” You swatted.
“Track stars!” He sighed exasperatedly.
“Regardless,” Danny cut off, with a wave of his hand, “I’m still going to keep an eye on you. When you go home. I’m coming to see you every day. I don’t support this but I guess I love you so I’ll help,”
“You love me?” You asked, with mock emotion.
“I guess,” He played off, but clearly lying at your expense, “You’re like my sister so I sort have too,”
“Great job at expressing emotion,” You teased.
“Can we just pull the plug on her?” Danny asked, turning to Sonny.
You did end up staying at the hospital for that night but you were sent home the following day around midday. Jamie had called that night which he had promised on doing every night while he was away skiing with his college buddies up in Vermont. A promise that you regret making as Jamie was finding it was suspicious that every night around 7 when he called, you were always lying in bed. Which is what you mainly did as soon as you got home. To maximise the recovery time you had while Jamie was away.
Both Danny and Sonny made it habit to come around and check up on you every day. Both still trying to get Jamie, you didn’t want him to worry about you. You knew what it felt like to be worried about the person you loved. Jamie had thrown that moment where you question if you’ll ever get to say I love you again at you multiple times despite joining the force after you. And he was the careful one out of the two of you. You were just a lot better at hiding the life threatening stuff from him. You took risks on the job, you were just better at handling the effects of those choices. You had started your NYPD career in the SWAT unit as a specially trained officer. This is exactly the sort of situation you had been tinned to deal with. When you talked about work especially back in the days when you were in SWAT unit before joining Manhattan SV, you didn’t mention that sometimes the stories you told didn’t always go so smoothly as you made it seem.
The last time you got injured and let him know was when you shattered your shoulder and broke your leg after falling out of a window. You can just remember Jamie pacing around the bed while you were getting bandaged. He asked every few minutes if you were okay and doted on you unconditionally for the next couple days. He was just so on edge those days whenever you did something in case you got hurt even more that you knew that you couldn’t do that to him again.
So that’s why you decided to keep it a secret until it wasn’t that big of a thing anymore.
You and Jamie had been together for around five years now. You had met him when he was still under two years on the job. He was put on a protection detail and you being a member of the Special Weapons and Tactical Unit back in those days. You were on the team tasked with saving him. You got quite close, which is what happens when you have to stay with someone for twenty-four hours per day for multiple days.
You bonded a lot over the fact that a lot of the other cops on you respective squads looked at you slightly differently. He was a Reagan of course and son to the Commissioner. You, on the other hand, were the only child of one the cities most famous investment bankers and his infamous socialite wife. Neither of you was expected to become cops and because you had and because of your links they perceived you differently. It was nice having someone who understood and to have someone you could talk about it with. Which is what started it all. After everything settled down, Jamie asked you out. You’d been together ever since.
Even though you were dating a cop and a cop yourself. You don’t think either of you got used to that feeling that any time could be the last time you may ever see each other. You should have seen how excited Jamie was three years ago when you transferred out of SWAT and into SVU. He viewed it a much safer that SWAT, which is what is was but it didn’t really resonate with you until then.
“Jamie!” You called when you finally spotted him emerging from the gate.
It was Friday night and you were at the airport waiting for Jamie as he was coming back from his trip. It was also the first day since getting back to the hospital that you had ventured further than your apartment door. You were feeling much better at this point and could walk without hassle, you just needed to make sure you were jolted or touched in that area.
“Hey,” He grinned, changing direction so he was walking towards you.
“Hi,” You smiled, angling yourself so when he went for a hug that your body was away from his so he couldn’t squeeze you, “I missed you,”
“I missed you too,” He said, pulling into a hug and kissing you.
As he did, his arm went to go around your waist to pull you closer but you avoided his arm and stayed as far away as it was socially acceptable. When you pulled away you detangled yourself from his hands and took a step back. He looked confused.
“I missed you too,” You played off which he responded to with a usual smile, “Tell me everything,”
“You already know everything,” He chuckled, as you began walking out, you put your arm around his waist to avoid his suspicions.
“But it’s different hearing it in real life,” You entertained.
“Firstly, how are you doing?” He insisted.
“What? Why?” You fumbled, on edge.
“Because I haven’t seen you in a week,” He offered, raising his eyebrow.
“I’m good, great even,” You lied.
“Okay, then why acting strange?” He pointed out.
“I’m cheating on you, I’ve moved out all of your stuff and my new tall dark and handsome boyfriend have moved in,” You teased in a deadly serious tone.
“Every time,” He sighed, annoyed at himself, “Every time you do that I believe you for a second.”
“It’s okay babe,” You cooed, grabbing his face and squeezing it, “I won’t ever leave you,”
“But you may cheat on me,” He joked.
“Only if you know who becomes single,” You winked.
“We are never watching that damn show again,” He huffed, playfully.
Later that night, as you were both getting ready to go to bed. You had peaked his suspicions again as you had gone to the bathroom to get your pyjamas on instead of doing in the bedroom like normal. When you returned, he was lying on the bed, reading a book.
“I have a surprise for you,” He announced as you walked back in.
“You do?” You questioned, spinning to face him, “What is it?”
“Come here,” He beckoned.
You made your way over to him and carefully laid down on the bed beside him but as discreetly as you could to avoid even more suspicion.
“Well?” You prompted.
“I got you a souvenir,” He continued.
“I know,” You reminded, “You already gave me my hoodie and the keychain,”
“But I got you something else,” He insinuated.
“What?” You inquired, curious.
“To keep with our tradition,” He began, “Here’s your terrible souvenir,”
“Socks,” You exclaimed, as he reached from under the bed and handed them to you, “They truly are awful,”
“There not just any socks,” He pointed out, “They are goofy moose magic socks,”
“My God,” You giggled.
“Put them on,” He suggested.
You went to bend over but stopped after realising that could tear one of your stitches. So you stopped suddenly and straightened back up.
“What?” He questioned.
“Why don’t you do it for me?” You offered awkwardly.
“Why…?” He dragged out.
“Because it would be a nice thing for you to do after leaving me for a week,” You made up momentarily.
“Seriously?” He questioned.
“Does it look like I’m joking?” You demanded adamantly.
“Okay,” He dragged out once again, leaning down himself and pulling your leg closer.
You jerked away. He gave you another confused and frustrated look.
“Why are you making me move?” You demanded, admittedly stupidly.
“Fine,” He gave in, you could tell he was becoming annoyed by your behaviour, “There,”
He moved back into his position by your side and folded his arms and looked at you.
“Y/N, is something going on?” He asked, straightforwardly.
“No,” You lied.
“You know you can tell me anything,” He said, taking your hand.
“I know,” You smiled, leaning your head on shoulder tactfully, “And I do tell you everything. You know more about me than anyone else,”
“And you me but honestly, Y/N, it just seems like you’re keeping something from me, you know?” He sighed, biting his lip, “You’re acting strangely. You’re hot and then your cold. Have I done something?”
“No of course not,” You reassured and confessed, “No, I’m sorry. I am being weird and stuff. Honestly I…”
“What is it?” He interjected.
“I had a really tough week,” You said somewhat truthfully, “And you haven’t been here so I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it with so now I don’t know whether I should give in and be happy that you’re here now or be upset that you weren’t here when I needed you,”
“But we talked every night and you didn’t say anything,” He pointed out.
“I didn’t want to ruin your trip,” You said truthfully, “You’ve had a hard time with work and everything for the past few months. You deserved a break and to have fun, and that doesn’t involve worrying about me because I’ve had a bad week. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah,” He smiled, “And just so you know. I had fun with them this week but it doesn’t beat the fun I get to have with you every day. I love you,”
“I love you too,” You grinned before kissing him.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything else,” He asked, as you pulled away, still in his arms.
You nodded reluctantly, the guilt wrecking you but you just couldn’t bring yourself to tell him. Not now anyway, you didn’t understand why you were fighting this urge not to say anything.
“Good,” He smiled and that only crushed you even more.
“Yeah,” You returned, before lowering yourself down on the bed, so you could look up at the ceiling comfortably.
Jamie the following suit and laying next to you so he could look up as well but he only looked at you, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“What?” You countered, still looking up.
“Work, you said it was a tough week for you,” He comforted, rubbing your leg.
“Oh right, yeah! Maybe not just now. I’m not in the mood ” You smiled sadly, turning to meet his gaze.
“Is there anything else you’re in the mood for,” He flirted.
“Seriously,” You commented, unimpressed.
“What?” He shrugged, moving so he was on top of you, holding himself up with his forearms so there was still distance between you, “It’s been a week since I’ve seen you,”
“And you can’t handle that tough guy?” You smirked
“No,” He beamed, “I’m just crazy about you,”
“Ditto,” You teased before he leant in to kiss you again.
You let it go on as he was hovering a few inches above your body but you knew that Jamie would change that soon enough. You’re pretty sure where Jamie though this was going was on the list of extraneous activities that you were supposed to be avoiding.
But you let it go on because you had missed him a lot. Even though you were dreaded him coming back and keeping secret. You both had alone time of course but anytime that you could spend with Jamie you took advantage of.
Everything was better when he was around.
A few minutes of hot and heavy making out took place before hands carefully and luckily slide down the side of your body to the waist of your pyjama shorts. You pulled away before he had a chance to pull at them.
“Um, maybe I’m not in the mood for that,” You shrugged and excused, “I had a really long day today,”
“Yeah, I’m a bit tired too,” He retreated, getting off you, but you knew he was lying.
“Goodnight J,” You offered, switching your light off.
“Night Babe,” He returned, switching his own light off.
That night was rough. You made it a habit to avoid Jamie’s grasp when he reached out for you, claiming it was too hot to cuddle when he eventually asked after serval failed attempts to spoon. You could tell that his suspicions returned by that point and that he was annoyed that you hadn’t said anything.
The next day you had to go to work for one of your cases. So luckily you avoided him for that day and his incoming confrontation. It was a good thing that you went in on Saturday without Jamie as everyone was coming up and asked how you were doing. You knew that you were going to be on desk duty for the next week or so but it was nice to be back at work. You hadn’t enjoyed the week off as much as should have, mostly due to the pain.
Even Sunday you avoided him for most of the day up until Sunday lunch at the Reagans. You had been feeling progressively worse as the weekend went on. Your stomach was in knots and you were feeling uneasy but you had a feeling that it was more due to nerves than your injury.
“How are you feeling?” Danny asked cornering you and whispering.
“Awful,” You admitted, breathing heavily.
“Good, so we’re feeling the same,” He hissed, “I can’t keep this from him for any longer. It’s killing me,”
“Well, pull it together Reagan,” You sighed.
“Why can’t you just tell him so I can tell everyone else,” He demanded.
“I already told you why ” You reminded.
“No, you gave me some half-assed reason and mumbled,” He corrected.
“He already knows something is up,” You sighed.
“Great, there is your chance to tell him he’s right,” He insisted.
“I can’t,” You confessed.
“Why not?” He sulked.
“I don’t know,” You admitted, “I want to but I stop myself. And I keep telling myself that it’s because I don't want to worry him but I know that’s not it because he’s even more worried because I’m acting so strange,”
“He loves you. So much. He is always going to be worried about you,” Danny empathised, “Just tell him, sure he’ll he pissed you hid it but ultimately he’s just going to be glad you’re okay. So just tell him,”
“Maybe…” You went to say.
“Plus I told Linda and she is dying to tell Erin,” He informed.
“You told Linda?” You demanded.
“I don’t keep secrets from my wife,” He defended putting his hands up.
“Dinner’s ready,” Sean announced interrupting just like his Dad while running past you so he could tell everyone.
You and Danny dispersed after that. You both headed for the dining room and sat at opposite ends of the table facing each other. Jamie took his seat beside you and took your hand and gave you a smile. But it was off, you knew he knew something was up. You were feeling worse. You felt like you were going to throw up. Dinner progressed normally up until Erin asked you to pass a knife to her so she could cut Jack some chicken.
“Oh let me,” Jamie piped up, interrupting and picking the knife up himself and handing it to her, “Y/N isn’t that great around knives,”
After his comment, he returned to eating and started talking to his Grandpa Henry. Erin thought nothing of it but your eyes widened and Danny choked on his spoonful of mashed potato. Everything took more notice of that than Jamie’s comment. Danny gave you a look to ask if you “did he just,” and you nodded. Putting the both of you on edge. Dinner progressed and you and Danny kept giving each other looks.
After you were all wrapped up. Danny told you that he always knew that Jamie was strange. But then Jamie announced that you both had to leave early. You went along with it and left. The door shut and he walked ahead of you to the car. He got in first and shut the door. You slid in and you just knew that somehow that he already knew. As soon as you were buckled in he took off not saying a word. His hands were gripping the wheel hard. Your head was swirling at this point. You couldn’t think.
“When did you find out?” You asked.
“Thursday,” He stated.
A day before he comes back.
“How?” You inquired.
“One of the first responders to the scene work at the same station as me. He called me to give a hard time about not rushing back and seeing you. Imagine my shock when he told me. He didn’t even believe me when I said I didn’t know,” He explained, “I guess it’s too crazy to believe,”
“Jamie…” You began, resting your throbbing head on the seat.
“You lied to me, Y/N,” He said.
“If you had asked me were stabbed on Monday I wouldn’t have said no,” You pointed out.
He gave you a look.
“Sorry, not the right time,” You apologised quickly.
“You always do this Y/N,” He sighed.
“What? Get stabbed?” You questioned, pain still searing through you but you ignored it.
“No, you hide things from me,” He began to explain, “Whenever something bad happens at work, you don’t say anything. And if I ask you downplay it when I know it’s more serious than you make it out to be. Why don’t you talk to me about that stuff? I understood when you were in SWAT because it was just an everyday thing but now. I tell you when it happens to me. With this job, you need to talk to someone and you just bottle it up. You go to extreme lengths like hiding the fact that you were stabbed just to avoid talking about anything bad that happens to you. Why don’t you trust me?”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” You responded, rubbing your throbbing forehead, “I don’t trust myself. I’ve given so much of myself to you because I love and more importantly I trust you so much. You know more about me than anyone and sometimes I forget that I have you to depend on,”
“Y/N,” Jamie comforted, “You aren’t alone anymore,”
“I know,” You breathed, “I just was for essentially my whole that I just don’t know what’s like to be someone. To be a part of something but I’m going to work on it I promise. I want to be on your team and me don’t to lose you,”
“It’s not about that Y/N,” He sighed, “It’s about you letting me onto yours. We’re getting married. I need to depend on me like I depend on you. I don’t want you to end up hating me because you’re doing all the emotional work. I want you to lean on me too,”
“I could never hate you and that’s why I can’t,” You started to cry, “What if you fall out of love with me and I’ve given you everything. What happens to me then?”
“You think that I can live without you?” He questioned, his own eyes welling up “Because I can’t. From the second I met you I couldn’t get you off my mind. You’ve become a part of me. There is no me without you anymore. You have made my life so much better. I didn’t know what content felt like before I met you. You filled this emptiness that I didn’t even realise I had. I gave you everything I have Y/N because you are my everything. I’m not ever going to willingly leave you. I love you,”
“I love you too,” You whispered, the pain overwhelming you.
“What it was serious?” He inquired, “What then?”
“I don’t know,” You mumbled, your eyes heavy.
“I’m not asking you to tell me all your secrets but important stuff like being injured and almost dying. I feel like I should be told,” He continued.
“You’re right,” You agreed, “And I will,”
“Promise,”
“I promise,” You said, “The whole time I was keeping it from you I was fighting the urge not to tell you. After hearing what you said it went away. I’m really going to try to let you in,”
“It’s all I want Y/N. I’m building a life with you and I want is to support you in all areas of it,” He confessed.
“I know. I’m sorry,” You breathed, allowing the pain to close your eyes for just a second.
“You don’t have to be. Us talking honestly like this is the first step, it’s only going to get better,” He smiled.
“Do you forgive me?” You inquired.
“I wasn’t ever mad. I was just disappointed that you wouldn’t let me know,” He explained.
“I promise I will next time,” You whispered.
“Hopefully, there won’t be the next time,” He pointed out, “And I know you will. I know your determined voice.
“Jamie,” You let out.
“Yeah?” He responded.
“Look at me,” You instructed meekly.
He turned to look at you and through your blurring eyes you saw his face change dramatically to shock, “My God Y/N, are you okay?”
You took your head and struggled to keep them open
“What’s wrong?” He questioned, his voice panicked as he sporadically took turns looking at the road and at you.
“It hurts,” You whispered before you eyes gave in and you were plunged into darkness.
You woke up for the second time in less than a week in a bright white hospital room but this time Jamie was by your side. Holding your hand, and just there waiting for you. It made you feel better instantly and you realised that he could only be here for you when you let him in and he knew. You vowed again to yourself to let him know when something went wrong in the future.
“Y/N,’ Jamie breathed in relief as he saw your eyes open.
“Jamie,” You smiled, so glad to hear him.
“Why did you let me go on for so long when you were in that much pain?’ He inquired gently, kissing your hand and holding it tight before resting his head on it.
“We had to talk. Making things right between us was my first priority. I wasn’t going to let any pain stop me from getting back on good terms with you. It would have been much worse if we still avoiding each other,” You explained.
“I wasn’t avoiding you,” He reminded.
“Details,” You chuckled, “So what’s wrong with me?”
“Don’t know yet,” He informed, “Doctor will come back and let us know as soon as he knows. Though my theory is it had something to do with that stab wound of yours,”
“Yeah, must overdone something to it while hiding it from you,” You agreed.
“Well, if that doesn’t teach you a lesson then I don’t know what will,” He teased.
“Hey, I already said I was sorry,” You huffed playfully, “Just wait till we get home. I’m going to tell you every near death experience I’ve had.”
“I don’t know how to respond to that,” He chuckled, “And just so I know when I asked you to tell me when something bad happens next time I didn’t expect it to be so soon,”
“I could be dying Jamie and you’re making fun of me,” You reminded.
“You aren’t dying,” He continued to laugh.
“This is why I didn’t call you the first time,” You commented.
“Okay,” He spluttered continuing to laugh.
“You’re going to feel really bad at my funeral, you know that?” You huffed.
“Calm down,” He insisted, still laughing.
“You calm down,” You said, “You’re embarrassing. Pull yourself together,”
“I’m sorry okay,” He apologised, composing yourself, “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’m going to throw up,” You admitted, laying back, “Been feeling this way for days. I did throw up a couple times too. I’m just so tired all the time and I can’t eat anything because I’m so dizzy and nauseous so I’m starving. It’s probably because I’ve basically been lying down for a couple days and I’m just readjusting,”
“I didn’t know you were feeling this way,” He comforted, “You should have said something,”
“Then I would have had to admit that I had been stabbed,” You reminded.
“True,” He nodded, “See why it’s easier to tell people things,”
“Can you stop rubbing it in?” You sighed, “I got the message. Tell you when I’m to die,”
He went to say something in rebuttal but then the doctor walked in.
“Ahh, you’re up,” He smiled, noticing you.
“I am indeed,” You grinned.
“Any ideas as to what caused her to pass out?” Jamie asked.
“Is it anything life threatening?” You asked hopefully.
“No,” The Doctor dragged out confused.
“Damn,” You commented.
“I’m sorry to disappoint,” The doctor offered confused.
“She’s trying to prove a point,” Jamie clarified.
“Anyway you fainted because of low blood pressure,” He explained.
“That’s so boring,” You commented, annoyed.
“Why is her blood pressure so low?” Jamie asked, ignoring you.
“Well, that’s the good news,” He began to announce.
“There is a complication with my injury. And I need life-saving surgery to correct it,” You suggested hopeful, “Hah! Do you feel bad now?”
“Please stop and please continue,” Jamie said to you and then the doctor respectively.
“The good news is Miss Y/L/N is that you’re pregnant and that’s why your blood pressure is so low,” The doctor confirmed.
“I’m what?” You asked blindsided.
“You’re pregnant,” He repeated, “Around six weeks. Congratulations you’re going to be parents,”
“I’m what?” You repeated once again.
“Pregnant,” He stated, “Blood test confirms it. You’ve probably experiencing other symptoms like…”
“Nausea, morning sickness and fatigue,” Jamie filled in, after a couple of seconds of reeling himself.
“I thought that was because of my injury,” You finally made out.
“That’s not the case. Your wound is healing nicely. All the symptoms you’ve been experiencing are due to the pregnancy,” He clarified.
“Is it okay?” Jamie asked, “She was stabbed after all,”
“The baby seems fine,” He confirmed, “I’ll leave you two alone for a bit,”
And after dropping that bombshell he quickly left and left you and Jamie alone. Well, you guess you weren’t as alone as you thought you were.
“Are you okay?” Jamie asked.
“Are you?” You countered.
“I’m great, godnot even great. I’m fantastic!” He admitted.
“Thank God, you’re happy about this,” You sighed in relief.
“You didn’t think I would be?” He asked.
“Not after the day we’ve had,” You mentioned.
“What happened today was important but not as important as this,” He clarified, breathing heavily and with a massive smile on his face, “Are you happy?”
“I’m shocked,”You confessed truthfully, “But excited. Really excited. Just so shocked and when that passes I’ll be excited. We’re having a baby,”
“We are,” He grinned, grabbing your face and kissing you, “We’re having a baby,”
“And a super awesome baby that can survive being stabbed at that,” You added.
“You’re ridiculous,” He chuckled, resting his forehead on yours.
“But you love me,” You teased.
“I do,” He agreed helplessly, filled with glee, “I love the both of you,”
#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#svu#svu imagine#bluebloodsxSVU#SVUxbluebloods#Jamie Reagan#jamie reagan imagine#officer jamie reagan#officer jamie reagan imagine#Danny Reagan#sonny carisi#Sonny Carisi is coming up#imagine#svubloods#SVU fanfiction#blue bloods fandom
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Imagine a killer date night with Jamie
(A/N: To the Anon and everyone else who wanted the second part to the ‘Criminallly good date night with Jamie imagine’. Hope you enjoy and sorry it took so long for me to post. I’m a crappy a blog runner especially when I’m a combination of tried and busy. I’m sorry if this is terrible)
Part One: HERE
Imagine a killer date night with Jamie
“This is it, isn't it?” You questioned, getting out the car and surveying your surroundings.
“This is what?” Jamie countered, getting out himself and looking over at you from his side of the car.
“This is where you murder me,” You clarified, “I’ll admit it well thought out. It’s quiet, secluded dense. It’s the evening so there are fewer people that could be possible witnesses to your crime. Take me far enough no one will hear me. And I’m working on the assumption that even though you plan on ending my life that you still care for me a little and that is why you decided to do it here, out of all places. Because you know that I have a deep emotional connection to this park,”
“Are you done?” Jamie sighed, though still amused.
“Doing what?” You inquired.
“Your speech about how you think I’m going to murder you,” He informed.
“You act like I make it often,” You stated.
“You do,” He reaffirmed.
“Well, it is likely,” You commented.
“No, it’s not,” He argued, rather adamantly.
“If I had been dating me for officially thirteen years tomorrow, I would,” You chuckled.
“Well, I guess I like you too much,” He winked.
“Or you're tricking me,” You insinuated, raising your eyebrows at him.
“Can we start the date now?” He sighed, shaking his head you exasperated but yet again still amused.
“Sure,” You shrugged casually, circling the car so you were perching on the hood of the car, “But just know that I have my eyes on you,”
“I’d be upset if you didn’t,” He smiled, moving so he was sitting next to you.
“Alright,” You gave in, “I’m done teasing. Proceed with your date Officer Reagan,”
“Thank you,” He nodded, “Well, what do you think?”
“You know I love it here,” You commented, “I’m just wondering why we are here?”
“Well, I thought that my redemption date I’d take you somewhere I knew you would like,” He explained.
“It’s not a redemption date it was just your turn to organise plus it’s also doubling as our thirteenth anniversary date,” You reminded, leaning on his shoulder as you looked up again.
“Which is why I took you here, your favourite place in the world,” He announced, with a hand gesture.
“That’s where you are wrong,” You smiled, looking up at him, “My favourite place is wherever you are,”
“Look who's being cheesy now,” He smirked, before kissing you briefly.
“But this is a close second,” You confirmed.
You took a deep breath and soaked in the surroundings. You were at your favourite park in the whole city. Well, it was technically a park but it was more like a forest. A popular hiking trail and your favourite place in the city. It might sound strange and most likely pretentious but when you first moved to New York fourteen years ago. You were lost, you parents essentially absentee and your first good memory here was going with your Housekeepers family to the forest for their annual family hike. It was the first time you felt connected to people and it is what you accredit finally allowing yourself to open up to other people. Without it, you may never have let yourself get to know Jamie.
You would have missed out on the best thing that ever had happened to you.
And that’s why you loved this place so much. You loved just sitting and watching everything go by, walking up the trail and taking it all in. Even just exploring, the place was so big that you hadn’t come anywhere near exploring all of it despite your frequent trips, most of them with Jamie.
“So what do you have planned for our date?” You inquired.
“Well, I thought we could take a hike up to that point that you like and then…” He explained before jumping off the hood and heading to the trunk, opening it up and lifting out, “A picnic under the stars,”
“How romantic,” You chuckled, “Where’d you buy the food?”
“I made it,” He informed.
“Really?” You questioned, sceptically.
“Well, after our disaster couples cooking date. I took cooking classes by myself and have become pretty good at it. And also not so surprised when you weren’t there, there was no crime ring to take down,” He teased.
“I’ll believe it when I taste it,” You mentioned.
“I would expect nothing less,” He chuckled, before prompting, “Now come on. We have a long hike to your picnic spot,”
“It’s going to be dark when we get there,” You commented as you grabbed each other's hand and started walking down the path.
“That was the plan,” He winked, swinging the basket in his other hand.
“What exactly are your intentions with me tonight Reagan?” You flirted.
“I think you know,” He countered before whispering in your ear, “ Mostly because half of them are your ideas,”
“You really are trying to out due my last date aren’t you?” You teased.
“Trying to,” He admitted, “You’ve made it difficult,”
“Not up, for the challenge Reagan?” You smirked.
“Oh, I definitely am,” He confirmed.
After the last date Jamie had organised had descended into a crime-solving mess, you had spent the rest of the night at home eating take-out from one of the Reagan families favourite places. He spent the whole night ranting and vowing that when his turn came around again that he would make sure that it went perfectly.
Before he had the chance to redeem himself, even though you continuously told him that he didn't need to because you had had fun fighting crime with him but you understood his wish to have at least one crime and punishment free date with you. But back to the point before he could organise his ‘redemption’ date, you had to organise your date for him as it was your turn to organise a date.
Last month both you and Jamie had some scheduled time off so you decided that for your date you would go on vacation. Jamie loved driving, especially for long distance so you organised a road trip across a couple of states in a rental car, staying a different hotel and doing different things in the little towns you stopped at for a couple of days before flying back. Jamie loved it but was annoyed by the end that your dates or plans for him always seemed to go off without hitch but his for you would attract the craziest of stuff. Regardless, Jamie had to admit that he enjoyed the go-karting, paintballing and even the painting lesson you did, during which he revealed to be quite a talented artist.
“God, I forgot how long that walk is,” You shuddered as you finally arrived at your destination and slightly ahead to the middle of it.
Which was a small hidden clearing that you can only find if you go slightly off the path? It was a perfect circle so when you looked up it was like looking up at the sky through a larger eye. Plus from this high up, every night is a starry night. It was like its own little world. Surrounded by tall trees, it was a very private spot. Probably best for whatever Jamie had in mind.
“But definitely worth it,” He smiled, catching you up and setting the heavy basket on the ground.
“For the sentimental value, it has?” You inquired.
“That and for that view,” He confirmed before gesturing to the sky.
It was sunset at this point. It was still a bit early so the sky descended from blue, white and yellow as the sun began to set. And from your high position it was breathtaking, with only a few clouds in the sky the colours were even brighter than you had ever seen before. It was absolutely perfect and you were surrounded by pure mother earth.
“Wow,” You breathed, not taking your eyes off the sky.
“Pretty good day to be up here,” Jamie commented, as he began.
“It’s perfect,” You nodded, “Thank you,”
“Don’t thank me just yet,” He teased.
“It's getting better?” You questioned intrigued, pulling your eyes away and watching him as he set out a picnic blanket and started unpacking the food.
“Oh yes it does,” He grinned, on his knees in front of you as he started placing food on the blanket before pulling out a box and opening the lid so you could say, “Can you say strawberries covered in white chocolate?”
Around twenty minutes later you and Jamie were lying on the blanket. Your feet at opposite sides so you met up in the middle. You both snacked aimlessly, feeding each other occasionally, as you discussed meaningless to the most important topics in your lives. The cooking lessons Jamie had been attending were definitely paying off. Everything tasted amazing and you could Jamie was very pleased with himself whenever you liked something he had made, which in this case was everything that he made.
“Oh my God,” You sighed dramatically as you finally got to taste one of those chocolate covered strawberries.
You were flat on your back, looking up to the sky while Jamie was at your side, leaning over you and propped up slightly so he could feed you the strawberry.
“Do you like it?” He asked.
“Of course,” You nodded, jumping up to take a moving bite as he was hoovering it absent-mindedly over your face but a few inches too high as he spoke.
“Well, you better! I went all the way to Brooklyn to get your favourite chocolate,” He mentioned.
“You’re amazing you know that?” You commented, looking up at him over the sky.
No sky could beat his face, to you at least.
“All I did was melt some chocolate,” He reminded, chuckling.
“No, I meant just in general,” You clarified, “Everything you do is so great. You’re just so great at everything. It’s one of the best and most annoying things about you,”
“You find it annoying?” He questioned, curious.
“Rarely, I just get jealous that you’re just so good at everything straight away. Like, take cooking for example. Last month the best you could stir up with a cold linguine and now you stirred up a literal stir fry. My favourite thing in the whole world, rivalling the one I get from my favourite place,” You explained.
“You liked it!” He smiled.
“I loved it,” You reassured, reaching up to stroke his cheek, “It was amazing just like you,”
“Maybe I pick things up quickly,” He gave in, “But not really good at anything while you are. Sure, I’m good at a lot of stuff but you’re really good at certain things,”
“Like what?” You entertained in disbelief.
“You’re one of the best detectives out of all the detectives of heard of, seen and or worked with,” He offered, “You just have a natural born knack for all the skills you need to be a great cop. Your smart, brave, intuitive, analytical and adaptable,”
“Adaptable?” You questioned.
“I meant adaptable in a way that you change our approach depending on the situation you find yourself in or the people your within said situation,” He clarified.
“Oh,” You nodded, “I guess,”
“I hate that,” Jamie sighed.
“What?” You demanded.
“I hate it that you can never accept any of my compliments,” He informed, “It's like you don’t believe it,”
“Well, it would be pretty conceded if I just agreed with you,” You commented.
“Then you deflect with a sarcastic and or generally depreciating comment,” He observed and added.
“Compliments make me feel awkward,” You confessed.
“I know but everything I say is the truth and you need to start believing it,” He said, stroking your cheek with his thumb as he leant over you, blocking any view of the sky behind him.
“Then you need start accepting my compliments when I say them to you,” You insisted.
“I do,” He countered, “I completely agree that I’m intelligent, handsome, daring and great at everything,”
“Now you sound like me,” You giggled.
“Did it sound arrogant?” He teased to which you responded by hitting him playfully, “I’m sorry. I’m just joking,”
“I think we both know that I’m the funny one in this relationship,” You commented, patting his arm sympathetically.
“Funny looking,” He quipped.
“Wow,” You breathed, “It’s like we’ve been transported back into the seventh grade,”
“Seriously though,” Jamie started seriously, “I need you to think that your as incredible as I do,”
“I’ll try,” You reassured.
“That’s all I ask.” He grinned, “So what do think of the date so far?”
“So far?” You questioned, “There's more?”
“Of course there is,” He grinned kissing you before standing up and then helping you up as well.
“Jamie this is too much,” You sighed still holding his hand with one hand and dusting yourself off.
“What do you mean too much? ” He asked, pulling you close, wrapping his arms around your neck and bending his knees slightly so he was at eye level with you, “This time last month you spent the morning playing football and then the whole afternoon watching a football game. It's the least I can do,”
“Buts that's because it was your date,” You argued.
“And today is yours,” He countered as if it was obvious.
“But it's not just my date,” You reminded, “It's our anniversary date too,”
“I know, which is why because I knew you would insist on it. Little perks for myself,” He reassured.
“It's not underwear again is it?” You shuddered.
“Do you think that little of me?” He questioned.
You shrugged teasingly.
“No, it's not underwear,” He chuckled, “It's even better,”
He bent down carefully, so not to drag you down with him, and pulled a portable stereo from out of the basket. Swiftly he plugged his phone in and the speakers crackled slightly to indicate the connection.
“What's going…,” You went to ask only to be interrupted as Jamie put a finger to his lips silently.
He continued to hold your hand as he places the stereo on a nearby tree stump. He pressed a button and music you began to swell. You recognised it immediately.
“Jamie,” You sighed, shaking your head as he kissed your hand.
It was your song.
“Care to dance?” He asked, pulling you closer.
“You’re insane,” You commented but you moved your hands to correct the position so you could slow dance.
“I know what you want me to say,” He chuckled, “And I’m not falling it for this time,”
“Go on,” You teased before prompting him, “Say it,”
“For you?” He questioned.
“For me,” You grinned cheekily.
“Okay,” He obliged, suddenly spinning you around and dipping you, in time perfectly with the song, “I’m only crazy about you,”
“Aww,” You squealed, as he pulled you back up again and you began to dance again.
“Why do you like that so much?”He inquired, tucking some of your flyaway hairs behind your ear.
“It’s just reassurance that you feel as crazy about me as I do about you,” You confessed.
“You don’t think I’m crazy about you?” He countered.
“Well, I know you like me…” You began to say.
“I love you,” He corrected.
“Hell, you’re crazy about me,” You agreed before continuing as you placed your chin on his shoulder as you began to sway, “But sometimes I fell like I have stronger feelings for you than you do for me,”
“Now, you just sound crazy,” He reassured, “Y/N from the second I met you I’ve been in love with you. Hell, I’ve always been crazy about you and I still am. Alway will be,”
“I know,” You said.
“Then why do you need reassurance?” He pondered.
“Because I don’t always believe it,” You admitted.
“I’m not going to leave you,” He reassured once again.
“I know,” You repeated kissing his cheek before resting on his shoulder again and looking at the forest that surrounded you.
He whispered that he loved you and kissed the side of your head. You returned that favour but you kissed him properly. You both swayed as the music continued the play. Progressing from your song to others that you both loved. You were in blissful silence. It was almost perfect except for the fact that Jamie seemed a little tense like he was nervous or something. Every time you went to go see if he was okay he would kiss you and that was enough. Also though the music was on, you could still hear all the hustle and bustle of the forest. The bugs, the birds, and the leaves rustling in the wind, but there was something else as well. An irregularity, every once in a while you could hear it.
It was coming from behind you so you tactfully got Jamie to turn around so you were facing said direction. Your eyes had been closed and when you opened them you could have sworn that you saw a shadow go by. The shock of it caused you to misstep and step on Jamie’s foot.
“Y/N,” He sputtered, swallowing back the pain.
“Sorry,” You apologised quickly, “I got distracted,”
“Care to explain the reason as to why?” He inquired, as you began dancing again.
“I was just thinking,” You offered, shaking what you had thought you’d seen off.
“About?” He asked.
“You…us,” You offered.
“What about us or me even?” He probed further.
“I was just thinking about our future,” You said, which wasn’t a lie because you had.
“Really?” He grinned.
“Yeah, I was thinking about if we would still dance like this when we’re fifty or something,” You informed.
“You know how much I like dancing, of course, we will,” He insisted.
“You are surprisingly good at it,” You commented.
“What can I say? Dancing class pays off,” He chuckled.
“Still can’t believe your mom sent you to that,” You giggled.
“And I’ll never forget,” He sighed, “Danny and Joe never let me forget,”
You continued to laugh as you both descended into fits of it. Your eyes connected and he started kissing you. It was intense over brief like all the other kisses you had had tonight. You continued to hear the irregular sound but you were caught up. Jamie continued to kiss you and it didn’t seem like he was stopping. His hands were at your waist and yours were around his neck. He was applying much more force than you were. Your back was bending much back as he continued to press himself against you.
“Jamie,” You breathed, pulling away.
“Shh,” He whispered, grabbing hold of your hands and pulling you down gently.
You found yourself lying on the back on the blanket and then Jamie got on top of you. You could feel yourself blushing like it was the first time, even though you had done this so many times before. You still got butterflies when he told you he loved you, or when you made out or even when he called you beautiful.
You probably would have been as into it as Jamie clearly was if you didn’t keep hearing the unusual rustling coming from the bushes. You tried to ignore it, listening to the music instead but it was getting louder and you honestly couldn’t understand how Jamie couldn’t hear it.
“Can you hear that?” You asked, pulling away and leaning up to your elbows.
“No,” He said, catching his breath.
“Seriously?” You questioned, looking around as much you could.
“It’s probably just a squirrel,” He suggested, before leaning in again to make out.
You participated, trying to believe that he was right. But just in case you weren’t. You made the both of you roll over so know you were lying on top of him. Tucking your hair behind your ear, you kissed him this time. You know he liked it when you were on top. Your kisses began trailing down his jawline and his neck in an attempt to focus on what was important.
Jamie.
“I think we need to stop,” Jamie said, breaking away.
“We are alone,” You reminded, with a wink.
“You were always the smart one,” He agreed, sitting up and wrapping his arms around you so you were basically sitting on his lap.
“Says the one that went to Harvard,” You teased.
“Details,” He played off before kissing you for the umpteenth time.
Jamie had a habit of kissing you whenever he was nervous or avoiding or even hiding something from you. His way of keeping you occupied and possibly he found it comforting. But your mind was so pre-occupied with this mysterious rustling you kept hearing that you didn’t even have time to even process it.
The noise was getting louder and you couldn’t ignore it and then it suddenly stopped. Your eyes were closed so you opened them and what you saw was a man watching the two of you from the edge of the clearing. As soon as you spotted him you stopped and as soon as he spotted that you had noticed him, he started taking off in the opposite direction.
From that moment you were out of girlfriend mode and into cop mode. You basically and practically jumped off Jamie and took off running after the mysterious man, just knowing that something was wrong. Your hand flew to your holster and piece. Jamie shouted after you but you knew he was running right behind you. You caught a couple of glimpses of the running man but he went around a bend and you lost him.
You stopped to catch your breath, knowing he was gone and there was no chance of you catching up with him. Jamie skidded up next to you after a couple of seconds.
“Y/N, what the hell?” He panting.
But you didn’t answer.
“Is that…?” You pointed out, gesturing a couple of feet to where you both were.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jamie commented instinctively without thinking.
“That’s a dead body isn’t it,” You sighed.
“Of course it is,” Jamie sighed exasperatedly.
From there, things went into high speed. You stayed with the body while Jamie went and got help as there wasn’t any signal. A bunch of park rangers soon came up and you could tell that they had no idea what to do. The park you were at was hardly a crime hotspot, it was more like a Nanny hotspot. You identified yourself as a Detective and suggested calling the nearest police department only to find that their homicide squad had gone to training weekend and their night squad was definitely not qualified to handle this type of investigation. Especially when the Rangers came back to you and told you that one of the cameras on one of the five entrances to get here had caught a man that matched the one you had described bringing in a bag, big enough for a body the previous night.
You contacted the neighbouring police force but roadworks meant it would take them hours to get here, especially at this time with all the weekend traffic. It became slowly evident that you were going to have to handle this until someone within the jurisdiction could assume responsibility. Things got even more pressing once it was discovered that it had been made clear that your man hadn’t left the area was most likely to still be in the park.
Once you received permission to run the operation to smoke your suspect out, you got to work. You called all the uniforms that could run to the park from the local precinct as well as the park rangers. Your own squad back at SVU were attempting to get here to assist. Everyone was designated an area, the park was put on lockdown to prevent escape. Despite the limited numbers you put everyone into pairs as judging from the state your victim was left in, it was clear whoever you were dealing with was violent.
Around an hour after discovering the body, you and Jamie found yourselves armed with flashlights trekking through the forest. You knew this place like the back of your hand so you took the lead, not to mention the fact that you were technically the senior officer out of the two of you.
“I’m sorry J,” You said, breaking the silence.
“Why are you apologising?” He countered, “It’s not like you killed the guy,”
“I meant I’m sorry for ruining your date…again,” You clarified.
“You didn’t ruin it,” He reminded, “All these criminals we always seem to stumble on to do,”
“Well, then I’m sorry for always attracting them to our dates or everything I like attracting them,” You corrected, “Either way I’m sorry,”
“I can’t be angry at you for being a great detective,” He commented, “I’d be pissed all the time if I did that,”
“Then why are you angry?” You inquired, sensing that something was wrong, he had been tense before and now he seemed much more bothered by this whole situation that you would have anticipated him to be, “Why is all this bothering you so much?”
“It's just…just that…” He struggled before offering, “Tonight wasn’t supposed to go like this,”
“I would hope not,” You tried to lighten.
“It’s just that we should be doing something completely different, right now not hunting down a killer in the middle of the night!” He exclaimed, even more, bothered than you had originally thought.
“Like doing it?” You winked.
“I would have hoped so,” He continued, so wound up that he didn’t even process what he was saying.
“Jamie I know this isn’t how you wanted tonight to go…” You began.
“You can say that again,” He muttered, restlessly as he kicked at some twigs on the ground.
“But we can raincheck and resume all of this some other time,” You suggested, continuing.
“And what take down a drug cartel next?” He huffed.
“Jamie,” You scolded, “What’s going on with you?”
“I just want one of my dates to go off without a criminally related hitch,” He sighed.
“The first one did,” You reminded.
“Not really,” He said.
You tossed him a confused look.
“That restaurant we went to totally ripped me off. It was basically theft,” He gave in and played along.
“Think of it this way,” You began to suggest, “At least we’re spending time together,”
“I guess it’s better than nothing,” He agreed, “I just wish it wasn’t so cold, damp and dark,”
“It’s not too bad,” You offered, “It’s sort of romantic,”
“Late night trudging through the mud, what else could be more romantic?” He countered, sarcastically.
“If we were doing it naked,” You nodded, trying to be serious for comedic effect.
“I like the way you think,” Jamie chuckled, finally lightening up a little.
“I know,” You giggled before prompting, “Come on, the quicker we catch this guy the quicker we can go home and sleep,”
“Now that’s romantic,” Jamie joked before a sudden noise up ahead silenced the two of you.
You motioned to switch your flashlights off as not to draw attention to yourselves. You put your finger to your lips and crept forward. You saw in the distance and moonlight, your suspect pacing and crying as he ranted about what seemly to be the crime he just committed. This guy was clearly unstable and taking him down would be a task as he was clearly erratic and you assume armed. You turned around and summed Jamie closer. He quickly obliged and peered over, seeing what just had.
“What do you want to do?” He whispered as you both took a step back.
“You stay here, I’m going to go talk to him,” You replied in a smilier hushed tone as you shifted you let back so your holster was behind it.
“What?” He hissed.
“Shh,” You hushed, before taking a step forward and gesturing for him to get out of sight.
You crept forward and you kept taking quiet steps towards him.
“Hi there,” You said casually, taking steps down towards him.
You didn’t really have a plan going in. You just decided to do what you always did, be bold and overconfident to a point that no one could question your idea. It was going well enough, he was still pointing a sharp bloodied butcher's knife at you but you tried to make him trust you enough to lower it.
You don’t really know what happened but you assume that either one of the park rangers or uniforms had stumbled upon Jamie and had accidentally snapped a twig on the ground because your guy got all jumpy as soon as he heard a noise.
He accused of you tricking him and got jumpy. He came after you with the knife and dodged it quickly but he came after you again with surprising speed.
“Y/N,” You heard Jamie shout as he jumped the little dip towards you both.
Your suspect suddenly grabbed you and held the knife to your throat as Jamie and a park ranger came into view, levelling their guns at your suspects head and coincidentally yours.
“NYPD!” They both shouted at the both of you.
“Back off,” He demanded.
“Drop the knife,” Jamie countered, his eyes violently going from you to the man holding a knife to your throat.
You could feel the blade pressing into your neck. You closed your eyes as the pain started to hit.
“You don’t want to do this,” You whispered, before reasoning, “If you kill me, they’ll kill you. And if you do that they can’t prove that you didn’t kill Emily,”
Jamie gave you a confused look.
“I didn’t kill her,” He insisted yet again.
“And I’ll help you prove that like I promised,” You offered.
“How?” He demanded, holding you even tighter.
“My boyfriend he’s a lawyer, he went to Harvard and everything,” You admitted truthfully.
“He’ll help?” He softens.
“Not if you kill me,” You reminded.
“Right,” He nodded, his grip loosening and the knife.
“Drop the weapon,” The park ranger repeated again, clearly helpless on what to say from besides from keep the gun levelled at the two of you.
“I was about too!” He shouted, “Why do they keep on shouting at me?”
“I don’t know,” You admitted, shooting the ranger a death stare.
“Everyone is always shouting at me,” He ranted, “Emily was always shouting at me!”
“Is that why killed her?” The ranger questioned.
“Will you shut up Officer?” You snapped, fidgeting.
“Detective…” He went to say.
“Detective?” He questioned, “You’re a cop? You lied to me!”
“No, I…” You began only to be interrupted by the sharp pressing of the knife into your neck.
Enough to draw blood.
That’s when two sharp and precise gunshots went off. You and your hostage taker fell to the ground. You clutched your neck and your suspect howled in pain. He was clutching his knees that had been bleeding profusely. Jamie had shot your suspect in both knees to subdue him. It was only a couple of seconds of realisation before Jamie scooped you up into his arms.
“Are you okay?” He asked gently, holding onto you, his hands on your cheeks as he gave you the once over, wincing at the sight of your neck.
You nodded, attempting to look back as other officers started to swarm.
“No, just keep looking at me,” Jamie insisted, pulling you into him.
“Did you shoot him?” You spluttered.
Jamie nodded this time.
“In the knee?” You continued.
“Both knees,” He added.
“That was pretty hot,” You commented jokingly.
He laughed as you both stood up together and he began leading you towards the main entrance, telling you that their would be an ambulance waiting.
Around twenty minutes later, you were sitting in the back of an ambulance, wrapped in an emergency blanket. You were drinking something warm as by this time it was the middle of the night probably early morning so it was awfully cold.
“Happy Anniversary,” Jamie announced, walking up to the ambulance and taking a seat beside you.
“What?” You questioned.
“It’s officially our anniversary. It’s 1:001:00 ame clarified.
“I completely forgot,” You admitted.
“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” He chuckled.
“I’m sorry Jamie,” You whispered.
“Why are you sorry?” He asked, wrapping an arm around you.
“Because I ruin everything,” You insisted.
“No, you just have something about you that attracts crime solving and criminals,” He teased.
“Next time we’re taking down a drug cartel,” You joked, “Be prepared.”
“I always am when I’m with you,” He winked.
“Do you want to raincheck tonight?” You asked.
“If we do we’ll probably end up taking down that drug cartel,” He laughed.
“I’m sorry,” You said again.
“Y/N, if think that I’ve accepted that when I’m with you anything can happen. You’re an incredible cop and the universe probably sends you these things because it knows you can handle them. If that ranger had kept his mouth shut you probably would have talked him down,” He comforted.
“The universe?” You questioned, skeptically, “You sound like me,”
“I intended too,” Jamie revealed, “My logic can’t explain all of this so I used yours,”
“You’re probably going to have to do that a lot,” You commented.
“I know and I hope that I’ll be able to do it for the rest of my life,” He agreed.
“What do you mean?” You asked.
“This isn’t how I wanted it to happen,” He confessed, “I had planned this whole thing. And everything was perfectly suited to you,”
“How so?”
“Well, it was here for one,your favourite place, your favourite song was playing which is also our song, at your favourite time of day, sunset,” He explained, “I know your favourite number is thirteen and that your favourite day out of the whole year is Christmas eve. So I thought what better day to ask you than the eve of our thirteenth anniversary here with all that other stuff,”
“Ask me what?” You inquired.
“To marry me,” He stated, reaching inside his pocket and pulling out a small box.
“What?” You demanded, so utterly shocked that it was probably a good thing that you were wearing a shock blanket.
“Will you do me the honour of marrying me?” He asked, officially, opening the box the presenting to you his mothers ring,
“Of course I will,” You nodded, tears spilling down your cheeks as he shakily slipped the ring onto your finger.
“I love you so much,” He beamed, as he pulled you close for a hug and a kiss.
“I love you too,” You cried, wiping your tears.
“You didn’t mind me asking here or today do you?” He asked to make sure.
“No, it was perfect,” You reassured, “I promise,”
#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#svu#svu imagine#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#SVUxbluebloods#bluebloodsxSVU#Jamie Reagan#jamie reagan imagine#officer jamie reagan#officer jamie reagan imagine#Reagan#imagine#svubloods
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The People Erika Left Behind MASTERLIST
SERIES SYNOPSIS...
Erika Rosaline Reagan was Commissioner Frank Reagan’s and his wife Mary Reagan’s fourth child and the first Reagan female to join the NYPD. Bright, temperamental, dedicated, Erika was quickly rising through the ranks along with her partner Will Gorski and older brother Danny and twin brother Joe. Unfortunately, her life would be cut short after she was killed unexpectedly on the job. Leaving behind her partner, family and most importantly her three-year-old daughter. Never revealing to anyone her daughter’s paternity, Y/N grew up without knowing both her Father and Mother under the watchful eye of the Reagan brood. Ten years later Y/N is now thirteen. Y/N herself is a smart-witted, courageous, inquisitive genius that attends NYC’s most prestigious schools for the Academically gifted. And though she isn’t socially inept sometimes finds it hard to follow social cues that are incompatible with her pre-existing knowledge. And even though she had lived a very happy yet sheltered life surrounded by a loving family she often struggles with the guilt she feels about wondering what her life would be like if her mother was alive or in particular if she knew who her Father was. Her years of speculation were soon to be over when she met Manhattan’s newest ADA, Rafael Barba also known as her biological Father. A revelation and a court case throws Y/N’s life into a tailspin, where almost everything she knows is a story orchestrated to protect her from the truth. The actual truth is that her Mother left a lot of unresolved secrets as well as people behind...
THE PEOPLE ERIKA LEFT BEHIND [BarbaxDaughter Mini Series]
(All Crossovers)
Part One: Imagine unknowingly meeting your Dad, Rafael Barba, for the first time
Part Two: Imagine unknowingly bonding with you biological father, Rafael Barba
Part Three: Imagine Rafael figuring out that you’re his daughter
Part Four: Imagine finding out Rafael Barba is your Father
Part Five: Imagine your biological father, Rafael Barba, filing for full legal custody of you
Part Six: Imagine finding out how your parents, Rafael and Erika, met
Part Seven: Imagine Barba v Reagan custody trial PART ONE
Part Eight: Imagine a Barba v Reagan custody trial THE INTERLUDE: How We Got Here
Part Nine: Imagine a Barba v Reagan Custody Trial PART TWO: The Aftermath
Part Ten: Imagine a Barba v Reagan Custody Trail Part Three: The Verdict
Part Eleven: Imagine finding out the Truth about your parents, Rafael and Erika
Part Twelve: https://svubloods.tumblr.com/post/187949805956/the-people-erika-left-behind-imagine-looking-into
STATUS: ONGOING
#law and order svu#Law and Order: Special Victims Unit#law and order svu imagine#svu#svu imagine#Blue Bloods#blue bloods imagine#SVU fanfiction#rafael barba#rafael barba imagine#ada rafael barba#ada rafael barba imagine#daddybarba#barbaxdaughter#SVUxbluebloods#bluebloodsxSVU#Reagan#Frank Reagan#Danny Reagan#Joe Reagan#Erin Reagan#Jamie Reagan#joe reagan imagine#detective joe reagan#detective joe reagan imagine#imagine#svubloods#the people erika left behind
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