HELLO HI HELLO I AM!!! RECOVERING CURRENTLY!!!!

So I haven't posted in a small moment and planned to get myself going again soon but right now I am recovering from an accident (I won't get into the nitty gritty) that has left me quite shaken. FIRST OFF I AM OKAY! Minor injuries so nothing alarming I am physically fine besides being sore for a bit and some scrapes and bruises that are still healing, including my arms which is making drawing a bit difficult. I'm slowly getting better but cant really draw for long periods and honestly I might not draw much for a bit till I feel better both physically and mentally. its the mentally part that might take some time. But I'm resting, rest assured!

ANYWAY this is more just an update cause I know i've been a lil absent. ESPECIALLY after this accident. I'm not abandoning the blog by any means, def still check on tumblr but couldn't seem to muster the energy to interact with much at the moment as my brain is a little rattled up.

I hope yall are all okay! I hope your days are bright and yall are taking care of yourselves!

I promise I'm doing what I can to take care of me!

many things that i want to say:

firstly, some very dear moots of mine (y'all know who y'all are aknsjsnsn) KEEP SENDING ME THE SADDEST FRIGGIN TIKTOKS AND IM HERE FOR IT I LOVE YALL (also the funniest, i love y'all very much)

secondly, i finished marius's new personal chapter thingy (or the event, tbh i have no idea what it is i just saw marius and was like i had to do it) AND I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS

spoilers below the cut

why- i- ...okay THOUGHTS

there were a bunch of moments that just made me so SOFT like idk but i'm a huge sucker for when the guy leans forward to rest his forehead on their s/o's shoulder, the vulnerability just jansjsnsnks i love it

also i think these would be translations since hyv is china based BUT THEIR TRANSLATORS (and ofc story writers) HAD SO MANY MOMENTS IN THIS EVENT

my opinion at least, the connotations were so <3 and it (the story) i think was really good

then again i'm not like the type to heavily analyze (because i am incapable of critical thought aksnjsnsn) so y'all who have done the first part might disagree which is perfectly valid

BUT ANYWAYS UM HE CANONICALLY USES MY LOVE AS A PET NAME I REPEAT HE CANONICALLY USES MY LOVE AS A PET NAME god i'm so glad the pining stage is over

casual pda my beloved <3

i think i passed away like a billion times throughout that event oh my god

thirdly, trying to build cyno and i hate looking for scarabs

fourthly, tried to build heizou because the tiktoks about him as a dps has influenced me but i HATE farming for those stupid onikabuto (thank god i don't have itto omg)

TO THINK THAT VIOLETGRASS WAS THE WORST GOD WKSJKWNDJWNSMSKSJ

also the pain i feel when i get a 5* artifact and the main stat ends up being friggin def%.

LIKE IM NOT BUILDING A SHIELD IM TRYING TO BUILD CYNO/HEIZOU PLEASE HYV JUST 5 DECENT ARTIFACTS T-T

fifthly (is that even a word lol autocorrect says it's not), i had a really embarrassing first impression on one of my professors and it makes me feel horrible so i'm telling myself to make this a learning moment so i don't make this mistake again but god i wanna cry (to make up for it i'm gonna work 10x harder - or at least the best i can do juggling the classes that i have now - and make a really dedicated effort to make his office hours because i think it was 20? i don't remember but you need a lot of good impressions to change the bad impression and i have like a couple weeks left- tbh i think i only have like 1 remaining week because he canceled next week's and then there's thanksgiving break and then dead week so actually maybe there's 2- I DONT KNOW BUT THE ONES I CAN MAKE I SWEAR I WILL MAKE

the reading i have to do is brutal though

to my now hs seniors who want to go to college, please ik ur school might tell you otherwise but max 1 technical (stem) and 1 writing based class per semester PLEASE

idc if y'all love reading now you will not when you get to college please take it from me

ummmm oh yeah also ik good study habits just don't develop overnight but please take this time while y'all have it to make really good habits bc y'all will need it, barely getting by in my classes and i'm STRUGGLING bc of it :,)

for reference, i was in the top 10 at my hs, had a 4.0 gpa unweighted, took like 12 ap exams, and a bunch of other things that probably make me look cool (or average, depending on the person that you are), and i got into my dream school (still extremely proud of myself for that so no i will not take any crap for that - also sorry but please don't ask which school, just know that it's really cool lol), but i am like oh my god wow

i don't want to say it's the "college depression" but y'all the struggle is SO real

so yeah

please at least try to take the first sem easy, i understand that for some majors, that's not possible but i hope it won't hurt to try

wow i like how i went from tiktoks to friggin college

OKAY BYE THAT IS ALL LOVE YALL VERY MUCH <3

Hello my loves,

How are you guys doing? I hope you're doing well! It's been a long while since I've talked to you, I've been quite busy lately so I didn't really have the time, but now my exams are over, so here I am!

Happy birthday Admin 🦋, I wish you nothing but happiness, I hope you're always happy and healthy and have the people that you love around you! Hopefully you had a good time that day, and spent it with your loved ones. Thank you for always providing us, along with Admin 🌶 , with great content and communicating with us.

Admin 🌶, I am so happy that you are doing better and I hope that the medication that you are on right now helps you feel even better! Take all the time that you need, your health is always more important (same goes for you Admin 🦋, please always put your health first).

As I said above, I've been quite busy studying, and honestly these past few weeks have been quite draining. I've felt very pressured and anxious with all the work that I had to do and the topics I had to learn, and things are going to still be difficult since I'm reaching the end, but it's okay. I'm not letting all these negative feelings and emotions take a toll on me, I know that there are a couple months left and then I'll be over with this and I will be able to move on to the next chapter of my life.

Also, stray kids had their comeback! Maniac has been stuck in my head since the teasers, and honestly, I really liked it. My favourite has to be waiting for us, though, it makes my heart warm. I also enjoyed muddy water and lonely st. a lot too! Freeze, charmer and venom were good, but I think I need to listen to them a couple more times, but they were good too. Sadly, almost all of the boys got covid, only felix and jeongin haven't tested positive yet, though I think that they will too in the next few days. I just hope that they recover soon and that they are healthy again.

I feel like this is a bit shorter than usual, but I don't have a lot to say this time. I just wanted to check in on you guys and see how you're doing, as well as wishing Admin 🦋 a, late, happy birthday. My sweethearts, make sure you are keeping safe and taking good care of yourselves. Eat well, sleep well, drink a lot of water. Stay safe, take care!

With love,

-Warmth anon❤💫

~ hi there love !! i hope you have been well ! we understand life gets busy, so don’t worry too much. thank you also love, i really appreciate the birthday wish !! we are always so happy to talk and create content for you guys to read in your free time !! yes, keep the positive attitude and mindset going and it’ll boost you to do great things, i know it. school can be difficult and life can be harder, but pushing ourselves to do what we life and to be happy is what its all about !! i’m so glad you enjoyed the comeback love, i really liked lonely st. the best i think !! it’s def my style more so. i think so as well since the boys are always together and in such close quarters, but hopefully, it isn’t affecting them really and they recover soon !! thank you again for checking in and for always reaching out to us, as always we are so appreciative of it and you. stay healthy and happy, eat yummy foods, drink yummy drinks and always smile love !! ~

- Admin 🦋

~ hi lovely! that's okay!! we all get busy so don't feel bad for not messaging us! i did and i made the decision to come off everything on my own because i wasn't coping and i can't even explain how much better i feel mentally without anything. obviously i'm struggling but i feel better in myself and that's what i think matters most! make sure you are taking better care of yourself love and work on some techniques to help ease the anxiety! you've got this my love, just keep your chin up and think about your future! the comeback was great as usual! charmer is my fave though, like i have it on repeat! it's so unfortunate that it happened now bc it's the worst timing but it was bound for the rest of the boys to get it since how close they are with one another! i just hope it isn't too bad for them and they are resting. thank you my love and make sure you are staying healthy and eating and sleeping well! ~

- Admin 🌶️

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Not to be weird, because I obviously don't mind if so, but are you wearing my clothes in your latest insta pics or have I lost my mind? Rio: Oh my God, sorry! Shoulda said before putting that up Rio: casual single white female situation Rio: I was in London and I had to stop by yours to avoid a real walk of shame... whole 'nother story, assumed it'd be alright 'cos you know, you weren't using 'em? Shipped back fully dry cleaned, swear down Rio: Not to drop him in it but shamelessly will, Buster said it'd probably be alright too lol Nancy: Well we have the brunette and redhead thing going on, already. Just don't murder me like Nancy: It's more than okay. They look great on you and they are just sitting there Nancy: Keep them if you want Nancy: I'd rather you than one of Buster's 'guests' Nancy: Did you talk to him? Rio: Last time I check, no feelings of murderous jealousy towards you Rio: Even if you do have a killer clothes collection Rio: You're too sweet! I'm nowhere near statuesque enough to rock it for serious but it was fun playing dressup, not gonna lie Rio: A little bit, yeah, as much as you can with him Rio: Has he reached out to you yet? Nancy: We should go shopping then. I'm not flooded with other offers or compliments right now Nancy: He did try but I didn't answer the call. I didn't know what to say, you know Nancy: Do I want to know what he said about me, if anything? Rio: Absolutely, always up for a style update Rio: and I promise to stay away for the red box dye Rio: Rihanna 2010 I ain't Rio: That's fair, I remember he mentioned that too Rio: He said a lot of things, some of 'em stupid which don't bear repeating but I could tell he was worried about you, checking you were okay, like Nancy: Oh god Nancy: I should've answered I just couldn't Nancy: I've already broken my own heart there's no handling if he decided to do it for me too Nancy: It was like I already hear what he was going to say Rio: No one is judgding you for not Rio: He's been guility of being unavailable for less Rio: You're more than entitled to take your time with this Rio: Let him cool down too, I put him right where I could but Rio: He's stubborn Nancy: And he thinks I'm as cringey as everyone at school does, right? Nancy: I knew it Nancy: I can't blame him really Rio: But that's nothing you don't know, you feel the embarrassment, I don't get why people think they're being clever pointing out as if its not your first hand experience Rio: He asked if you were coming back Rio: which he clearly wants, even if he's not gonna outright say that Nancy: I thought he might be on my side since he always goes after what he wants Nancy: Maybe he is though, if he does want me home Rio: Yeah, there's definitely hypocrisy otherwise Rio: I'm not gonna commit him to either side from a conversation relayed but I don't think talking to him soon will make it any worse Rio: Hoping he said all the dumb shit he needed to me instead, like Nancy: Was he such a prick to you? I'm sorry Nancy: I can't go back until those girls are far away at uni Nancy: Do you think we could convince him to come here? Team effort to get a visit? Rio: Not all bad Rio: and nothing I can't handle Rio: Yeah, reckon I might've met some of them last night Rio: and I feel you Rio: Worth a shot, I threw it out there that maybe if he came it'd make your 'rents coming less of a shitshow Rio: try and hold him to it Nancy: The ringleader is Chloe, with an accent over the e. You'd remember her if you did Nancy: It wouldn't surprise me if she was still hanging around him and his friends, she always did fancy him Nancy: Okay. I'll try Rio: Oh my God, her?! Rio: If she gave me daggers any harder I woulda been bleeding Rio: Such an unlikely candidate, no offence Chlo hun but total Rio: always the girls with the least going for them, honestly Nancy: That's her specialty Nancy: What's it say about me that I used to think we were actually friends once Rio: She looks like she can play nice when she wants to Rio: with your Brother, like you said Rio: Ugh Nancy: Yeah. She didn't want to play nice after I came out but she did a convincing enough job before Rio: Bet she thought you were in love with her and everything? Rio: What a cliche mean girl Nancy: Oh she went one better and told everyone I made a move of her, which even I wouldn't Rio: Oh, don't flatter yourself Rio: What a cow! Yeah, she's not changed at all then, obviously I avoided her best I could but she was way too happy about my drama Nancy: Like I know what I did with Sian was bad but Nancy: Please, I do have some standards Nancy: What happened with you? I didn't even ask. What a cow I am Rio: Yeah, she's not a catch, whatever way you're swinging, sorry to be a bitch but you were first gurl and that's always gonna be a turn-off Rio: Oh nah, nothing major, well, it was very dramatic but over it whilst it was happening so I'm not bothered Rio: Curtis went with me and then decided to get all huffy and try and make me leave early 'cos I was 'dancing too sexy' or whatever Rio: when I wouldn't he literally left me there, considering he drove us over, he had the hotel key Rio: Cue mad rush trying to find a place to crash and a way back Rio: Safe to say he's chucked Nancy: Oh my god! There's no words for how out of order that is. What an utter prick! Nancy: Buster better have offered you my bed Nancy: I'll kill him if he never Rio: Oh yeah, he did Rio: Offered to pay the way back but I thought that was too far Rio: Between taking your bed and clothes, like, need to at least try and sort half of it myself, like! Nancy: At least he's not a total prick himself ALL the time Nancy: Remembering some of how he was raised now Nancy: Are you in London rn still? Rio: Yeah, I'd say we can give him that Rio: Will go to his head but what you gonna do Rio: I am Rio: Toying with staying for a bit but I'll defs get in more shit for doing that for going with Curtis in the first place so Rio: Should probs get the soonest flight back now Nancy: My bed and wardrobe are yours if you are staying Nancy: Did you see my mum and dad? Nancy: While we're mentioning being in lots of shit, like Rio: I appreciate it, Nance Rio: I did my best to avoid then, and succeeded, thankfully, not really the vibe I'm looking to give out to the olders like Rio: Buster didn't seem keen to talk to them either, so they may very well be on the warpath towards Dubo and you...Soz to confirm Nancy: Care to teach me some of your ways before they end my life? I'd REALLY appreciate it tbh Nancy: Fantastic. That sounds accurate Rio: Umm, get them drunk and they'll be sleeping as you sneak about like Anne Frank? Rio: ORRRRR, whilst they're mid-air, come back to London, ha Nancy: Get mum REALLY angry Nancy: Nice subtle nod to my gayness with the Anne Frank ref though Nancy: And you're definitely onto something with getting dad a drink Rio: Say you're coming to rescue me, I can be FAR more dramatic about this breakup than I'm really feeling Rio: edge of fucking tower bridge like Rio: of course, all bisexuals are upheld in the highest esteem in my household Rio: especially brave little jewish girls Nancy: Good plan, if I can be this dramatic about a non-break up then we can make this believable I'm sure Nancy: Take the heroics from my brother too, always great Nancy: I see the bed and clothes gesture and I raise you Rio: Everyone loves a bit of sibling rivalry put to use Rio: get us both off the hook in one fell swoop Rio: Only flaw in the plan is Chloe with the accent Rio: Going to have to work on that so she's outta the way by the time you get here Nancy: I'd suggest taking her to the bridge and pushing her off but I don't need to go to prison Rio: If you thought the gay jokes were bad now Nancy: Exactly Nancy: And nobody needs a rebound that badly, least of all me Rio: They say some people go to Prison for the roof over their head and three meals a day Rio: wonder if anyone has ever gone in purely for the pussay Nancy: As a vegetarian I feel I'd have to Nancy: If only casual sex was my thing. Wouldn't have got here Rio: Yeah, it ain't for everyone Rio: at least you didn't get to fuck her, THEN catch feelings Rio: that'd be even shittier like and what happens to so many girls in our year when they do the 'casual' thing Rio: no wonder they're being salty little bitches about it Nancy: But that way it wouldn't have been all in my head Nancy: Maybe they have a point, I don't know Rio: It wouldn't make this bit any easier Rio: the actual heartbreak shit Rio: the people being cunts, less so Rio: but they'll find any reason, someone else will be the target next week, like Nancy: I know you're right Nancy: And I don't want her life ruined so Rio: Yeah, but you gotta think about you and your life too Rio: She's fine Nancy: Don't rub it in, please Nancy: I feel like my life's over Rio: I know sweets Rio: but it ain't Rio: you'll just keep going Nancy: I know I will, but I don't want to. Like I know she couldn't love me but I still want her too Nancy: It hurts Rio: Its going to Rio: for a while yet Rio: revel in it Rio: how unfair it feels Rio: 'cos its not a sexuality thing, if you were straight or she was gay or whatever the fuck, when you feel like you love someone and they just don't back Rio: that's gonna hurt regardless of the how you got there Rio: its not just because she was a teacher, everyone's been there, like Rio: Promise Nancy: I wish everyone saw this how you do Nancy: You're the best Nancy: June too but he doesn't get this bit yet Nancy: Though he can appreciate the wonders this will do for my art Rio: Gotta suffer, might as well get paid for it Rio: or A's Rio: at the very least Rio: I don't know, Junior is so guarded, I wonder if he ever will, not that I wish that bit on him but you've gotta go through it so its better to get it over with really Nancy: Especially because my Irish grades are gonna take a dive Nancy: I think he will Nancy: He just needs the right one to fall for Nancy: I appreciate how that sounds coming from me rn but Rio: Oh the awkwardness of that first lesson back is gonna be Rio: I'll deffo come Home by then Rio: I hope so, I know he's not happy hiding who he is, so I don't think he's content being alone forever, like, either Nancy: Oh god please do. I'll need all the help I can get Nancy: He won't be. He's a catch. I keep telling him Rio: Pretty sure push it any harder and I'm being dragged back by my hair lmao Rio: Totally, he just needs to get a lil confidence Rio: Not a complete personality change but just enough to give him that push Nancy: We're working on it Rio: Yay! Shame we can't be real speedy about it, get him getting a man to distract all the attention from you like Nancy: That's okay I wouldn't wish it on him Nancy: I can handle it. Sort of Rio: Yeah you can Rio: You've got this Nancy: So our brother keeps saying. But he makes it we because he's everything Nancy: *your Rio: Y'all are cuties Nancy: If you could use your influence on my brother to make him bearable I'll be your best friend Rio: I definitely cannot make promises there Rio: He goes out of his way to be un Rio: but he's alright really, I think lol Nancy: I'll have to take your word on that Nancy: Until I talk to him myself Rio: Let me know how it all works out like Nancy: Definitely