#Not to be dramatic but thank you Dani Carr | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pricemarshfield · 3 years

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fresh as a daisy

Chapter 2/2. Requested by @renluthor: dani/ainsley angst/angry makeout?

Read on AO3 here.

Ainsley wakes up to a text from her brother and Dani pressed up against her, back to front. She's breathing slow and steady, like she doesn't have a care in the world. She does, of course--Ainsley's learned how crime scenes haunt her girlfriend(?) in the way she wakes up stiff and frozen, sometimes, like Ainsley does when she dreams about not-Endicott's blood on her hands. She's lied and said something about that time she got locked in Claremont, and Dani believed her, and that's the worst fucking part.

"I can hear you thinking from here," Dani murmurs, voice rumbling against Ainsley's chest. Ainsley doesn't jump, but it's a near thing. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ainsley says, too quickly, a lie meant to be caught.

Dani rolls over, eyes still hazy with sleep. "Come on, you can tell me."

Ainsley sighs, props her head up on her arm so she's leaning slightly over Dani. "I'm just worried about my meeting with the head reporter. He said he wants 'more' from my reports." It's easy enough to muster up annoyance about it, because she is annoyed with him.

"Carr?" Dani asks, and Ainsley grumbles, leans into Dani so she's pressed right into the crook of her neck. She could stay here for hours. "Fuck that guy."

Ainsley laughs, teeth scraping at Dani's skin mostly-on accident, and Dani shifts so that Ainsley's half-on top of her. "When do you have to go into work?"

"You're insatiable," Dani says with a little put-upon sigh that's as fake as the innocent expression Ainsley's definitely wearing right now.

"That's not actually an answer to my question," Ainsley says.

Dani doesn't respond for a second, and Ainsley pushes herself up to see a frown on her face. "In...less than an hour and a half, actually."

"Boo," Ainsley says, dramatically flopping back down. Dani's chest rumbles a little with laughter that Ainsley feels more than hears, and it's so fucking nice in a way that Ainsley's not used to yet, even after months of it all.

She hasn't looked at her phone yet. She knows it'll break the morning into something she has to deal with and not just luxuriate in.

"Do you have time for breakfast?" she asks instead, and Dani laughs.

"What, you're gonna cook?"

"Better than you," Ainsley says. "I didn't know you could burn toast that bad unless you were trying."

"You have all these weird 'smart' appliances, how is that my fault," Dani mutters. "I can make pancakes."

Ainsley hasn't had pancakes since she was young enough to still wear a bright pink dress with ruffles to school. "Sure."

Ainsley's mom had asked her to move back in, and she had been planning on it before--this, with Dani. She still goes back basically every day--she has a little study space in the basement--but it's nice to have a place that's hers.

And Dani's, in a way.

Dani has her own apartment, a place with chipped paint but plants everywhere, homey in a way that Ainsley hadn't thought was a real thing outside of home and garden magazines. She spends more nights than not here, though, and Ainsley's started to feel like the place is too big without her home.

She doesn't have a key yet. Ainsley has no idea when she should bring it up. If she should, even; there's that whole thing with the murder she got away with and Dani being a homicide detective.

Ainsley glances at her phone to see the text from Malcolm, complete with hidden message. She should check it. Dani's busy at the stove, it's the best time.

Dani hums some oldies song at the stove, the admittedly-weak smell of cooking pancakes wafting towards Ainsley, and she still can't bring herself to break the morning. Instead, she puts the phone facedown on the table, stands up, and wraps her arms around Dani from behind. Dani doesn't start or stiffen like she used to, when they were still figuring each other out.

"Is it supposed to look that lumpy?" Ainsley asks brightly.

"Yes," Dani says. "They're pancakes, it's not gonna be perfectly even."

"As long as they taste good," Ainsley says. She has to push herself up a little to rest her head against Dani's shoulder. It's not exactly comfortable, but she has no intentions of moving. Dani flips the pancakes with an expert little twist of the spatula, and Ainsley makes an impressed noise. "Where'd you learn to do that?"

"I worked at a diner in college," Dani says. "I was hired as a waitress, but I was way better behind the scenes." She shudders a little. "I hate customer service."

Ainsley's never had experience with customer service. She's thankful for that, but it does mean she doesn't have anything she can add, so she just hums agreement into Dani's shoulder. They sit and sway sway to the sound of pancakes cooking and their breathing for a little longer.

Dani covers her pancakes in almost as much syrup as Malcolm used to, and at Ainsley's disbelieving look, laughs, and says, "Really, you should try it!"

Ainsley does, if only so she can prove herself right, but it does end up being pretty tasty.

"Don't tell Malcolm," Ainsley says, ignoring all of her etiquette training to talk with her mouth full because she knows it'll make Dani smile. Sure enough, she does, and Ainsley feels this warm glow in her chest she's still not used to. "He'll be so smug."

"Really?" Dani says. "He doesn't seem the type."

Ainsley feels something twist in her stomach, remembering how horrified Malcolm was when he'd figured out that she faked it. She stands by it, of course she does, but yikes. He'd lied to her, why does she feel bad? There's the text she's ignoring, the worry around that...that's probably it.

Still, she can hardly check it with Dani at the table, so she smiles at her and says, "That's just 'cause he always had a soft spot for you."

There's an awkward beat of silence where both of them sit in the reality of that being true in a way that's completely at odds with them sitting across the table for each other, half-dressed and warm.

"I do have to head to work," Dani says after awhile, and Ainsley frowns as if she doesn't want her to go. In reality, she could use the time to check her texts, figure out how she's going to present herself when Dani gets home. Tired, probably, but not too tired, she's still working from home as much as she can. Happy to see her--that part she doesn't even have to fake.

"Aw," Ainsley says. "You coming back here after?"

"Of course," Dani says easily, like it's nothing to just let someone else in her life the way Ainsley's been letting her here.

Ainsley's not sure what tugs at her heart just then, but she's pretty sure it's not a good thing. Dani heads to the bedroom to get dressed while Ainsley finishes her pancakes. The syrup's significantly less enjoyable now that they're cold, sticking to her mouth in a way that makes her want to toss them in the trash.

Dani's not looking. She could.

She stares down at them for awhile too long, chewing on the mush in her mouth until she wants to gag. When Dani walks out of the room again, she looks up, forces herself to swallow, and smiles. "Heading out?"

"Yeah," Dani says, pressing a quick, casual kiss to Ainsley's cheek. Ainsley wants her to linger, but instead she rushes out. Ainsley has to get up and lock the door behind her, and she stands there, staring blankly at the front door of her own apartment for a bit.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket again, and she unlocks it. Something about a private investigator, because of course it's about a fucking private investigator. She just knows Malcolm's gonna lord this over her, talk about how this is proof he didn't overstep when he was trying to protect her. Biting back an annoyed reply--she has to give him the benefit of the doubt, save the rudeness for when he fucks up--she texts back something about meeting tomorrow.

Today she's trying to do something for Dani.

One: her apartment's always neat, but she remembers being told that neatness was onto holiness at her etiquette schools, and the lesson's hard to shake, so she cleans. She's not down on hands and knees scrubbing the floors or anything, but the place looks a little nicer, and she's proud of it.

Two: something Dani will care about a little more. She goes the extra mile--lights candles, gets flowers, is polite (if direct) with the restaurant worker on the phone who'll get something delivered to her door. The candles are warm, smoky scents that are a far cry from the crisp, clear ones Ainsley favors, but Dani had murmured stories about a campfire into her shoulder once, tracing her freckles, and Ainsley hopes she'll like that she remembered. The flowers aren't roses. Dani had a story about some ex who got her roses that Ainsley winced in sympathy at even as her sides hurt from laughing so hard. So she got orchids, as expensive as they are hard to keep happy. (It's a little on the nose, but Ainsley is her parents' daughter, and drama is the easier vice to indulge.)

The food is the part Dani will like the most, Ainsley's guessing. The thoughtful, almost-metaphorical gestures are Ainsley's thing, always unsure with how to give affection without giving too much away. Food, though, is an almost universal love language--Dani making pancakes in her kitchen, Ainsley buying her wines that cost more than Dani's rent. Plus, Dani likes Thai, and Ainsley hasn't had good tom yum in too long.

She gets this all ready by 10am, and finds herself bored by 10:03.

Ainsley would normally go bother Malcolm about a case, but Dani hasn't texted her anything interesting, so it's not worth the effort of dealing with his panic over this investigator guy. She does care about him, and she does worry, but just--God, he'd lied to her for ages. It's hardly like she's incompetent. She'd handled things just fine, hadn't she?

There's a bitter twist in her stomach, and she pauses, considers it for a second before choosing not to look at it too closely.

She goes to lunch with her mother, who talks around Ainsley and Dani as best she can while still prying for information. Ainsley ignores the more back-handed comment about her always wanting her brother's things and says, "We're having dinner tonight, actually."

"Oh, where are you going?" her mother says. "I can get you a reservation if you don't have one. There's that new French place on--"

"We're staying in," Ainsley interrupts, something she'd have gotten a ruler on the knuckles for if she'd tried it back in etiquette school. "Sorry."

"Oh," her mother says. "Well. We are quite different, aren't we?"

Ainsley shifts in her seat, immediately, uncomfortably aware that there's something hidden behind her words that she can't quite make out. "Not that different. You--" She cuts herself off, which is also rude, but she's pretty sure her mother would have slapped her if she'd finished saying you made compromises in your relationship, too. "You, uh, would have a home dinner if Gil asked."

Her mother finishes her drink without looking at Ainsley, cheeks a little pink. "Ainsley..."

"I'm just saying," Ainsley says, turning back to her food with a grin.

Working from home--the one thing the pandemic brought that Ainsley's happy to hold onto--is great, but she can't deny the little rush of productivity she gets from being in the office again, even if she's just waiting in a hard plastic chair to talk with a man she hates. He's got to listen to her about this private investigator thing, though; he always listens to her when it comes to crime stories.

She used to get pissed about it, she's more than her father's daughter, but...well. Hoxley's here to investigate a murder she did, so.

Not that she plans to include that in her pitch.

When he finally waves her in, thirty minutes after their meeting was supposed to start, she can feel her smile is a little brittle around the edges. He looks up at her through his glasses, which badly need to be cleaned, and says, "What've you got, Whitly?"

"There's a private investigator here in town," she says quickly. "According to my sources, he's here to figure out who killed Nicholas Endicott."

"Your sources," Carr says, looking at something on his laptop. Ainsley's fingers twitch. "Your brother or your girlfriend?"

"...my brother," she says, knowing better than to tell Carr that her sources are private, even if that's what every ethics in journalism conference tells them. Carr thinks he's above it all.

She wonders who he'd assign her story to, if it ever came out. Leslie doesn't do the crime beat. No one does the crime beat except for her. He'd probably take it himself, try and get a Pulitzer, squander the research completely, and make her look innocent. Hm. It would help in court.

It's not healthy that she's thinking this, she knows, but at least she can talk to her dad about it later.

"Endicott died ages ago, why now?"

"His head surfaced in a lake somewhere," Ainsley says.

"Find out where. You're good, take the camera crew."

Ainsley smiles at him. "Thank you, sir."

He waves her out rather than even do her the courtesy of addressing her.

Dick.

Reporting is invigorating, as it always is, and she gets to wave at her brother before the cameras turn on. He looks panicked when he spots her, but whatever, she's literally here to do her job. She goes into autopilot, reporting the facts as she knows them--Simon Hoxley is here, he's researching Endicott, and there's caution tape preventing her crew from getting closer to this boat. When the camera operator turns as if to film the boat, she quickly gestures them back, hands low enough that it shouldn't be broadcasted. Can't he spot the body there? They'll get sued.

Also, she wants to be on camera. It's not like she got her degree in journalism because she dislikes attention.

They're able to chat with Hoxley for just a second, and he looks at her with a polite disinterest that is simultaneously heartening and discouraging. Pros: he doesn't suspect her. Cons: she's not even worth suspecting, the fuck? He's already glaring at Malcolm. Malcolm's everyone's focus.

At least, everyone but Dani, and she shouldn't feel so much vindictive little pride in that. Dani smiles at her when she passes by, rushing after the chaos that is her squad on a case. Ainsley grabs her hand and squeezes it quickly while the cameraman's busy catching Gil passing by. Dani beams at her, and Ainsley's heart thuds a little heavy in her chest.

She drops her hand, switches back to reporter mode, and concludes her broadcast with something about Hoxley getting to the bottom of this, and be sure to tune in for updates on the case.

The day drags by after that, giving bland check-ins to the camera while getting bizarre text updates about it all from Malcolm. Dani doesn't text at work unless it's important, and Ainsley finds herself hoping nothing comes up so that their dinner isn't postponed. She just wants to spend some time with her--whatever Dani is.

They should probably work that out.

Carr just grumbles when she checks in with him at the end of the day to see if there's anything else she needs to do, so she takes it as she's free and heads home. The taxi driver makes small talk with her about her broadcasts, and while he doesn't seem to understand that she is not involved in actually solving the murders, it's the most someone other than Dani or her brother has talked with her about the day-to-day of what she does in months. She tips like $600, because who the hell cares, it's her mom's money anyway.

Then she rushes around the apartment getting the few things ready that she couldn't do in the morning--actually lighting the candles, setting the table, restraining herself from setting more than one of each utensil on the table, getting the food where it's left outside her apartment when her phone dings to let her know, remembering to tip the driver right away, and getting the food on the table.

God, she hopes Dani gets here soon. The food smells good and her lunch with her mother wasn't exactly filling. One thing Dani's taught her is how ridiculous rich people portions are. (Dani's words, not hers.)

It's not ten minutes later when Ainsley hears Dani's hand on the handle, and realizes shit, she forgot to light the candles. She scrambles to get at least the one on the table. She turns to grab the lighter and hears Dani say, "Uh."

She whirls around. "Hi."

"Hi," Dani says with a soft smile. "What's all this?"

"You treated me to breakfast, so," Ainsley says.

"You didn't have to do this," Dani says, looking at the Thai on the table, smile not dropping or dimming in the slightest.

"I know," Ainsley says. "I wanted to."

"You're sweet," Dani says, and walks over to pull her into a kiss. "Do you really only have these long lighters?"

"I don't smoke and I don't like the small ones, I'm always worried I'm gonna burn myself," Ainsley says, and Dani laughs and lights the candle on the table for her.

The dinner's perfect, and Ainsley gets to vent about Carr not caring about her reporting beyond profits at all and Dani gets to talk about how ridiculous Hoxley and her brother were acting all day and Ainsley gets to bite down a joke about thumbs that she couldn't explain. Dani sneaks some of Ainsley's food off her plate, Ainsley smacks her hand away, and Dani shakes her hand as if it hurts while failing to suppress a smile.

Normally, this is the part of the night where Ainsley would pull Dani into bed, or into the shower while Dani gripes about the jeans being new. But the night feels warm and soft and Ainsley just wants to hold her.

"You've got me completely messed up," Ainsley says, and when Dani looks up at her, a bit of sauce on her lips, she can see she doesn't understand what she means. "I mean, like." She huffs. "I never felt like this in any of my, uh."

"Relationships?" Dani suggests.

"Are we? In one, I mean," Ainsley says, tapping her foot against the floor, an anxious tic she's had as long as she can remember.

"I'd like to be," Dani says slowly, and Ainsley knows what that cautious expression means. She's pretty sure she has it, too. "Do you?"

"Yeah," Ainsley says, and Dani relaxes. "Also, you've got some sauce on your lips." She wipes it off absent-mindedly, and Dani leans across the table to kiss her. The angle's awkward, but Ainsley's smiling into the kiss too much to mind.

The rest of the night is just idle, easy conversation. Ainsley feels light, giddy. Dani's arm around her shoulders, Ainsley's hand in Dani's, the dim mood of the candlelight. It's all perfect.

Still, at the end of the night Ainsley can't quite sleep, even as Dani snoozes peacefully next to her. She's not sure why. Everything's perfect. Dani's here, Dani's officially her girlfriend, she's getting to do her report on Hoxley, her and Malcolm got away with it. Every piece of her life is fitting together just fine.

"Babe?" Dani says, and Ainsley turns. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ainsley says grumpily. "I just can't sleep. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine," Dani says, already half-asleep again. "Sleep soon."

"I'll try," Ainsley whispers, staring at Dani. The easy acceptance, the give-and-take--it's new, but Ainsley loves it. She feels like she could tell her anything.

Oh. Dammit.

Seriously? she thinks to/at herself. You're upset we can't confess our murder? Fucking ridiculous. That's a normal thing to not tell someone. I mean, Dad--

Ainsley abruptly sits up, goes to take a shower. That's not--she can't think like that. There's unhealthy and there's self-sabotage, and that barrels over the line at lightspeed. Jesus.

Still, she turns back to look at Dani as she closes the bathroom door--slow, so as not to wake her again--and she can't help but think on it for far too long, staring at the tiles of her shower with a bitterness she wishes she could bite back.

She should text Malcolm. But he and Dani--that's still too fresh a wound. It's not like she can talk to her mom about it. And Dad...

The only reason she can think of not to is Dani would be disappointed. But that's enough.

Probably.

#my fics #renluthor #request #dansley #dani powell #ainsley whitly #prodigal son #daisy #fic: fresh as a daisy

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papermoonloveslucy · 6 years

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THE BOB HOPE CHEVY SHOW

October 21, 1956

Bob Hope (Himself / Ricky Ricardo) was born Lesley Townes Hope in England in 1903. During his extensive career in virtually all forms of media he received five honorary Academy Awards. In 1945 Desi Arnaz was the orchestra leader on Bob Hope’s radio show. Ball and Hope did four films together. He appeared as himself on the season 6 opener of “I Love Lucy.” He did a brief cameo in a 1964 episode of “The Lucy Show.” When Lucille Ball moved to NBC in 1980, Hope appeared on her welcome special. He died in 2003 at age 100.

Lucille Ball (Lucy Ricardo) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon, which was not a success and was canceled after just 13 episodes.

Desi Arnaz (Fred Mertz) was born in Cuba in 1917 and immigrated to America as a youngster. He was a musician who married Lucille Ball in 1940 after meeting her on the set of 1939’s Too Many Girls, which he had done on stage in New York. In order to keep him ‘off the road’ Ball convinced producers to cast him as her husband in a new television project based on her radio show “My Favorite Husband.” The network was convinced. In 1951, Arnaz and Ball began playing Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, roles they would be identified with for the rest of their lives. The couple had two children together, Lucie and Desi Jr. In 1960, Ball and Arnaz divorced. Desi became a producer, responsible for such hits as “The Mothers-in-Law” (1967-69). He re-married in 1963. Desi Aranz died in 1986, just a few years before Ball.

Vivian Vance (Ethel Mertz) was born Vivian Roberta Jones in Cherryvale, Kansas in 1909, although her family quickly moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico where she was raised. She had extensive theatre experience, co-starring on Broadway with Ethel Merman in Anything Goes. She was acting in a play in Southern California when she was spotted by Desi Arnaz and hired to play Ethel Mertz, Lucy Ricardo’s neighbor and best friend. The pairing is credited with much of the success of “I Love Lucy.” Vance was convinced to join the cast of “The Lucy Show” in 1962, but stayed with the series only through season three, making occasional guest appearances afterwards. She made a total of six appearance on “Here’s Lucy.” She also joined Lucy for a TV special “Lucy Calls the President” in 1977. Vance died two years later.

William Frawley (Captain Blystone) was already a Hollywood veteran when he was hired by Desi Arnaz to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy.” After the series concluded he joined the cast of “My Three Sons” playing Bub Casey. He did an episode of “The Lucy Show” in October 1965 which was his final TV appearance before his death in March 1966.

Tommy (Trained Seal) Others guests on the show that evening were James Cagney, Diana Dors, New York Yankee Don “No Hit” Larsen, and Les Brown and his Band of Renown.

The Hollywood DebStars (up and coming young women in the entertainment business nominated by the make-up industry) include:

Nicola Michaels aka Niki Dantine (from MGM)

Elaine Aikens aka Elaine Aiken (from Paramount)

Dani Crayne (from Warner Brothers)

Anna Navarro (from NBC)

Nancy Kilgas (from CBS)

Roxanne Arlen (from Pine Talent Productions)

Stephanie Griffin (from DelBar Productions)

Carol Nugent (from American National Studios)

Autumn Russell (from Al Wallace)

Veneita Stevenson (from RKO)

This cross-over episode of “The Bob Hope Show” aired on NBC (Hope's network of choice) two weeks after his guest-star appearance as himself on the season six opener of “I Love Lucy.”

Because the show is sponsored by Chevrolet, the opening theme is their jingle “See the U.S.A. In a Chevrolet” by Leo Corday and Leon Carr. Dinah Shore sang the song after 1952, and it became something of a signature song for her. Later the song was also sung by Pat Boone on his “Pat Boone-Chevy Showroom” (1957-60) on ABC. Hope's signature tune “Thanks for the Memory” by Ralph Rainger is saved for the closing credits, with special lyrics about the 1957 Chevies.

In Hope's opening monologue, he promises a look at the new 1957 Chevrolet cars. He then alludes to the new TV season. Hope wonders who is running the country with Walter Winchell on TV and IKE out campaigning. Winchell's new NBC variety series was titled “The Walter Winchell Show” and it premiered three days before this “The Bob Hope Chevy Show.” It lasted just one season. A month after Hope mentioned IKE campaigning, Eisenhower handily won election to a second term as US President.

Hope says that Sid Caesar's back – with a new wife. Hope is referring to the third season of NBC's “Caesar's Hour.” Nanette Fabray left the show after a misunderstanding when her business manager, unbeknownst to her, made unreasonable demands during contract renewal negotiations. Fabray and Caesar did not reconcile until years later. Fabray appeared with Lucille Ball in the her 1974 special “Happy Anniversary and Goodbye.”

Hope says that Steve Allen is back and busy as ever. Allen's new show on NBC was titled “The Steve Allen Plymouth Show” (another show sponsored by a car manufacturer) and would run five seasons. Steve Allen interviewed Lucy Whittaker (Lucille Ball) in 1977′s “Lucy Calls the President.”

Hope also reports that Perry Como is back. Hope is referring to Como's hosting of “The Kraft Music Hall.” Como appeared on the premiere of the aforementioned “Walter Winchell Show” to promote the “Kraft Music Hall.”

Trying to make a joke about “The Ed Sullivan Show” (which he says “owns Sunday nights), Hope mistakenly says “Elvin Presley” instead of “Elvis Presley.”

Hope does a joke about Winston Churchill's son being on “The $64,000 Question.” On September 18, 1956, a month before this Bob Hope Show first aired, Rudolph Churchill was a guest contestant on the American quiz show hosted by Lucille Ball's friend Hal March. Churchill and the other contestants all got the answers right that evening and it was discovered that they were already given the answers. This began what is know as the quiz show scandals in Hollywood.

English-born Diana Dors does a sketch where she plays Hope's wife in a traditional English cottage. Dors and Hope then do a companion sketch about a married couple in modern day America where the house practically cleans itself. They even have a baby (several) thanks to automation.

Hope and Cagney sing and dance to “Mary's a Grand Old Name” by George M. Cohan. Cagney won an Oscar for playing George M. Cohan in the 1942 film Yankee Doodle Dandy, which also featured the song. It was also in the film The Seven Little Foys (1955), which is mentioned by Hope. Cagney says he is doing a new film about Lon Chaney called Man of a Thousand Faces. It was released in 1957. Hope also makes a joke about Burt Lancaster's 1956 film Trapeze.

During Hope and Cagney’s introductions of the DebStars, background singers perform “A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody,” “You Oughta Be in Pictures” and “You Are Too Lovely.”

After ogling the DebStars, Cagney does an imitation of Ernest Borgnine saying “What're you doin' tonight, Marty?” from the 1955 film Marty. About Cagney, Hope says he's such a tough guy that he thinks Somebody Up There Likes Me is a comedy. The dramatic 1956 film is about the life of boxer Rocky Graziano.

Hope rightfully states that he knew Lucy long before she met Desi and wonders what it would be like if he'd married Lucy. This sets up the premise of the “I Love Lucy” cross-over sketch that follows.

The “I Love Lucy” theme is played at the start of the sketch.

Although the “I Love Lucy” set is used, it is slightly changed to accommodate the action. There are now closet doors at the extreme left and right edge of the set. The set dressing in the hallway is also different.

The sketch was probably recorded in advance, possibly on the “I Love Lucy” stage, to accommodate the cast, including the live seal. This is born out by the fact that during Hope's “curtain call” during the final credits, only William Frawley and Vivian Vance come out to shake Hope's hand, and they are dressed in different clothes than they were wearing moments before. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz do not appear as “themselves” out of context of the characters they play in the sketch.

The action opens on the Ricardo's New York City apartment with Lucy leading a live seal from the front door into the living room closet. Ball has some trouble getting the seal through the closet door, despite tempting it with food.

Lucille Ball would work with live seals again in “Lucy at Marineland” (TLS S4;E1).

When Ricky (Bob Hope) comes home, Lucy smothers him with kisses, which makes him suspicious that something is up.

Lucy: “What are you talking about? I give you a kiss every day.” Ricky: “I know, but this is October. You just kissed me through Lincoln's Birthday.”

Lincoln's Birthday was formerly a Federal holiday celebrated on February 12. It is now marked only in select states, having been replaced by Presidents’ Day at the Federal level.

When Ricky tosses his hat into the closet where the seal is hiding, it immediately comes flying back at him, nearly landing back on his head, but missing.

Lucy: “We've got termites!” Ricky: “One of them must pitch for Cleveland.”

Hope was part-owner of the Cleveland Indians, and never missed an opportunity to joke about the team.

Lucy says she was just trying to help by getting the closet fumigated.

Ricky: “You're always helping, like when we went on our honeymoon. You thought we'd be lonesome so you invited your mother along.” Lucy: “I was just trying to help.” Ricky: “Who were you helping? You're father?”

While Lucy Ricardo's mother was an integral part of “I Love Lucy” in its last few seasons, her father was never mentioned. In real-life, Lucille Ball's father died when she was an infant and she was raised by her grandfather. Like most cross-overs, Hope's writers appear not to have been avid watchers of “I Love Lucy.”

Seeing a plate of whole fish (the seal's food) on the coffee table, Ricky gets suspicious. He calls them “Texas anchovies.” Lucy explains that they are her first dividend from her membership in the Herring of the Month Club.

Ricky says he has an audition in the morning for the 100-piece Havana Symphony Orchestra: 99 bongos and a sweet potato.

When Fred enters (played by Desi Arnaz), Lucy barely recognizes him:

Lucy: “Well Fred, I didn't recognize you. You look like a new man. Took off a little weight, put on a little hair.”

When Ethel smothers Fred (Ricky) in kisses, Lucy (or Lucille Ball) says “All right, break it up. Let's not overdo it.” On “I Love Lucy,” Vivian Vance did not enjoy having to be affectionate with William Frawley. If the script required them to smooch, an air kiss was all Frawley and Vance would do - and that reluctantly.

When Ricky (Hope) turns his back to the audience, his bathrobe says “Havana U” on it.

On “I Love Lucy” Ricky Ricardo claimed to have attended the University, and even sang their fight song in one episode.

When Ricky can't understand Fred's thick Cuban accent, Bob Hope recycles a punchline he also used on “Lucy Meets Bob Hope” (ILL S6;E1) the week before: “You're trying to tell me something!”

Lucy insists on playing charades. When Ricky complains he needs to go to bed, he asks Lucy “Who do you think I am?” As if a charade clue, she quickly replies “The Beast From Hollow Mountain”! This was the title of a low-budget horror flick about a modern-day dinosaur on the loose. The movie was released in August 1956.

When Lucy announces that Fred and Ethel's apartment is being fumigated (to hide that Captain Blystone is staying there), she says that the girls will sleep in the bedroom and the boys will take the living room. Hope breaks the fourth wall to address the audience:

Hope: “How do you like that? I marry Lucy and wind up with Desi.”

Both Ricky and Fred dive for the sofa at the same time. Hope is still straddling the fourth wall.

Hope (to Desi): “One chorus of 'Babalu' and out you go.”

Then Desi mutters under his breath “I should have never left CBS” which is likely an ad-lib by Arnaz.

When Ricky opens the closet door a huge circus ball rolls out. Lucy claims it is a beach ball for the little girl next door. When Ricky (Hope) tries to lift it, it is heavy, and he remarks “Who's the little girl? Sophie Tucker?”

Sophie Tucker was a vaudeville personality of sturdy build. Lucille Ball would play Tucker on “Bob Hope's All-Star Comedy Salute to Vaudeville” in 1977.

In another closet, Ricky finds what Lucy calls a ‘gramasousaxylophonovitch’, a series of horns arranged like a xylophone.

Five years earlier, on “The Audition” (ILL S1;E6), Lucy Ricardo pretended to be a trained seal and played "How Dry Am I" on the (what she called then) the ‘saxavibratronophonovitch’, but is virtually the same instrument. This was also part of the act Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz toured live across the country to convince CBS and sponsors that their pairing would work on television.

Lucy's performance wakes Captain Blystone (William Frawley) upstairs, who comes to claim his seal, who he calls Tommy. Lucy introduces the seal as her music teacher!

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