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thewalkingdeadfanfictions · 5 years

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Noting or Something Chapter 4 - Waiting Game

Day One

I sigh as the quiet sound of my watches beeping woke me up. Shutting it off, I sit up listening or any sounds of danger. I only heard faint sounds of everyday life. It was a welcome sound but it’d be too dangerous to get too comfortable. Deadheads are always going to be a threat we have to be prepared for and as I already knew the living was too. With a relieved sigh I place the knife, which I had placed under the pillow just in case, back in its sheath at my side. With that I stretch as I stand up before fixing my disheveled clothes and running a hand through my tangled hair. I glance at my reflection in the little stand mirror on the dresser and fix my hair a little better.

With that I head out and into the kitchen. There I found Maggie and the brunette I assume is Rick’s wife. “Morning.” I say and get a “Morning Nai.” From Maggie and a simple “Morning.” From the brunette before she wipes her hands off and offers me one of them adding “I’m Lori, Rick’s wife. If you haven’t figured that out.” “Nai, Hershel’s eldest daughter. If you haven’t figured that out.” I respond shaking her hand once before grabbing an apple from the basket on the counter asking “How’s Beth?” “Still frozen but looking better.” Maggie tells me before adding “Try not to start a Dixon fight today.” “Can’t promise anything.” I mutter turning on my heel before taking a bite of the apple as I go to head out to see if Merle had taken his issue with the group off the back-burner. If he had, it would be a long day of calming him and the others down.

Unfortunately I don’t get further than ten steps when Hershel’s “dad” voice questions “Where are you going?” “Out.” I answer pausing as I turn to look at him only for him to respond with “No you’re not.” “Why not Old Man?” I question only to get the ‘don’t test me’ look as he answers “You need to rest that leg or it won’t heal. I shouldn’t have to tell you this.” “Fine.” I sigh so he nods saying “Thank you. I’ve already asked Glenn to tell Merle about it.” “That’s sure to go well.” I mutter before turning and going back to my room to grab a book and rest, as practically ordered.

****Time Skip****

“There’s no pictures.” Merle mutters standing in front of my bookshelf yet again with a book in his hands having come because quote “It’s weird without ya Peepers.” So he’s been spending a while going through my books…again and this time decided to flip through The Last Man. “Sorry my books don’t meet ya standards.” I scoff turning the page of the one I was currently trying to read: Blindness. “Ya know what I mean Peepers.” He mutters back causing me to sigh “Still my books not yer’s.”

Day Two

“I swear to god Dixon! If ya don’t pick one and sit down I’ll kick ya out!” I exclaim tired of his now mumbled complaints after the pointless fighting about the ratio of books with pictures versus those that didn’t we did practically all day yesterday. In response he grumbles under his breath a “must be that time.” as he places the book he currently had in his hand and got The Road again. “I better have heard that wrong.” I growl snapping my own book shut in a threatening manner only to get a “Heard what?” in response as he came over and sat next to me on the bed and opened the book. “That’s what I thought.” I mutter re-opening my book causing him to chuckle. It was strange how we just naturally started bickering after that major fight. I mean, it was strange that I got as close as I did to Merle as fast as I did. It took me at least a year before I even got remotely as close to Maggie and Beth. But Merle…only a few days. Which was even stranger given the fact that he behaved and thought the way he did.

Day Three

“So…are ya really related to them?” Merle asks suddenly from his spot on the opposite end of the bed causing me to question “What makes ya ask?” not even looking up from my book. Today was my last day of “bed rest” so I wanted to finish it before tomorrow. Though I’ll probably never truly finish The Ender Quintet as I never got around to getting the last books in the series Ender in Exile and the parallel story A War of Gifts: An Ender Story. Maybe I’ll find them on a supply run but that’s just a pipe dream. I know I’ll never truly finish the second series of the Ender’s Game: The Shadow Series as the last book Shadows in Flight was set to be released in two more years. I was also hoping to find another copy of Song of the Sparrow since I had been reading it while on break at work so it was still sitting in my locker in the back room. I thought about going to get it but I wasn’t going to go the opposite direction just for a book.

“Ya don’t look like ‘em.” He answers with a hum, like he was thinking, so I look up at him and decide to answer truthfully “I’m not. Hershel adopted me when I was sixteen.” “Adopted? Yer actual parents dead or something?” He questions causing me to scoff “Hopefully.” He just gives me a look to continue then so I sigh and question “Ya know how I said I know what it’s like to be alone in a dangerous place before all this?” “Yeah.” He grunts so I continue “Well, my parents, if they could even be called that, abandoned me in the streets of Atlanta when I was ten.” “Why?” He growls, but at me or them I don’t know, so I sigh again before answering “I was too old to continue playing the lost kid role while they had me pickpocket people. If I got caught before then I could just pretend I was pulling on their sleeve to get their attention and ask ‘Have you seen my mommy?’ But at ten the responses changed from them being worried to them being angry.” He’s angry himself now as he growls “So they just left ya?” “My name literally means the concept of nothing. It was only a matter of time before they discarded me.” I answer instantly causing him to snap “That don’t make it right.” “I know.” I snap back before sighing “I do think of them as my family.”

“I know.” He sighs then as he looks back down at The Road, which he’s still reading or pretending to, signaling that the conversation wasn’t going to continue so I say “I know ya know.” Before muttering “Did ya know I think the same for ya?” He’s silent so I look back at my own book, Children of the Mind, before hearing a mumbled “Same here.” From him. I hum signaling that I heard him which just causes him to grunt an angry “Shut up.”

Day Four

“Hey Nai.” Glenn says getting my attention just as I step outside onto the porch so I pause, look at him, and hum out “Hey Glenn.” “Merle asked me to take you to meet the others since he went hunting with Daryl.” He says then, in a tone that meant Merle didn’t ask but told him, so I say “Ya mean told ya.” “Uh…yeah.” He answers sheepishly before quickly saying “But I don’t mind doing it! I mean…” trailing off. “Thanks.” I chuckle before getting serious and saying “But before I agree to let ya do that I need to know somethin’.” “Huh? Okay. What do you need to know?” He responds with a friendly smile so I question “Did my sister really tell ya she loved ya?” Instantly he questions “You heard us?” so I respond “Just answer the question Glenn.” After a minute of him looking at me trying to figure out if I was serious he answers “Yeah…I didn’t say it back though…I mean I’ve never had a woman say that to me before, you know. Except my mom, of course, and my sisters. But with Maggie, it’s different. I mean, we barely know each other. What does she really know about me? Nothing. We’re practically strangers. But I didn’t know what to do with it. I just stood there like a jerk. Then I hold it over her like I don’t feel the same about her.”

“Glenn.” I sigh then so he questions “Yeah?” “All ya had to say was yes.” I sigh causing him to breathe out an “Oh…Sorry.” “Don’t worry about it. Yer probably gonna be my brother-in-law so I should be someone ya want to talk to. Just warn me next time.” I tell him placing a hand on his shoulder causing him to blush and say “Oh…uh…Thank you…And…uh, I will.” “Good.” I answer with a nod causing him to grin and say “Glenn’s tour is starting now.” Before dramatically doing a come on motion. I chuckle at him and the fact that he was actually a good guy and would be good to Maggie. Though he may be a little stupid and naive I approve of him.

“Hey Dale.” Glenn greets as we come up on the old man while he was putting some wood in the fire pit. “Ah, Glenn.” He says as he turns to look at him before noticing me and greeting “Ah, hello Nai. That leg of yours all healed?” “Yeah. Thanks.” I answer giving him a small smile which he returns as he says “That’s good.” “Oh, T. You’re just in time.” Glenn says then causing the African American who had just come out one of the tents to question “For what?” “I’m taking Nai around to meet everyone.” Glenn informs motioning to me from my spot at his side causing T-Dog to slowly look at me before getting a somewhat reluctant look on his face as he says “Oh, hey. I’m Theodore but you can call me T-Dog or simply T.” “Hey.” I greet giving a small nod which he returns before Glenn says “There’s three more to go. Let’s go!” doing another dramatic come on motion.

“Hey Andrea!” Glenn calls to the blonde on top of the R.V. with a rifle as we get closer to it. “What is it Glenn? I’m busy.” She answers not even looking at us so he explains again “I’m taking Nai around to meet everyone.” That got her to look at us for a second but she immediately turned back to watching saying “That’s great.” “It’s fine.” I mutter as Glenn gives me an apologetic look causing him to give me a small smile as he says “Off to the next one then.” With that I follow him to where the older woman was busying herself with taking down laundry.

“Hey Carol.” Glenn greets causing her to pause mid-fold to look at him as she says “Uh…hi Glenn…Nai.” In a sad tone. “How are you doing?” Glenn asks then causing her to continue what she was doing as she answers “I’m fine...But a mother should never have to outlive her child.” “I’m sorry.” I tell her, slightly wondering if my own mother ever felt sorrow for abandoning me, causing her to give me a small smile for a second before continuing with her task. With that Glenn gives me a small smile again before he says “Last one…But…I should warn you that you probably shouldn’t make him mad.” “Or what? Is baldy gonna kick me out of my own home?” I question, using process of elimination to determine that the last one was the bald guy with a bad temper, causing Glenn to get a look that screamed ‘I forgot about that.’ Before he says “I guess not but…” trailing off. “Fine. I won’t purposely make him mad.” I sigh out causing Glenn to say “Thank you. Come on.”

Like I thought bald man was “guarding” the locked up Randall with the anger I’m sure was now an almost permanent fixture to his face. “Hey Shane. I’m taking Nai here around to meet everyone and you’re the last one.” Glenn says in a friendly tone as we get closer to him which causes him to look at us with a glare as he practically stalks our way snapping “We’re not on some camping trip Glenn.” “I know-“Glenn starts only for him to get cut off by Shane saying “You don’t as you’re taking time away from what needs to be done to do pointless introductions.” “Already writing me off are ya?” I question with an innocent tone before getting a threatening one as I smirk adding “Because if ya are I have news for ya. I live here and won’t go down without a fight.” This causes him to give me a deadly glare which I counter with my own as Glenn tries “I know things are stressful but let’s save it for the Walkers okay?” But like with Merle there was no way I was going to back down and eventually Shane got that and growled “Yeah.” While turning away.

“You’re as bad as Merle.” Glenn sighs as we walk back to the house so I say “He started it.” “Still.” Glenn says before looking at me and adding “But I was surprised with he backed down. I mean, you’re like what…a little older than Beth?” “I’m twenty-five…Regardless, it was certain that Shane would back down since Merle did.” I state only for him to exclaim “He did what?!” “Seriously?” I question so he says “Sorry…It’s just Merle doesn’t back down to anyone.” “That’s not exactly true anymore is it?” I question with a smirk causing him to smile saying “Guess not. You’re like a one stop shop of awesomeness.” “Don’t know if I’d say that. But…I am pretty awesome.” I respond smirking causing him to chuckle “You’re so much like my sisters it’s scary.” “Oh? Well it’s a good thing I’m going to be one.” I state placing an arm around his shoulders causing him to copy the action chuckling “Yeah.”

Day Five

“Is squirrel even edible?” I question watching as Merle and Daryl skinned the squirrels they caught after they got back from their overnight hunting trip which earned a grunted “Yeah.” from Merle and a half curious half angry look from Daryl. Probably because most women, let alone people, would be disgusted at what they were doing but I was on track to be a doctor and I basically did the same thing with the Deadheads when I was collecting blood and guts for my jars.

“I don’t know if I believe ya.” I mutter poking the one Merle was currently doing as I’m sure if I did it to Daryl’s I’d might lose the finger. “Believe me Peepers. It’s just like chicken.” Merle states with a smirk and humor in his voice so I look at him with my eyes narrowed as I state “Not everything tastes like chicken.” “Well this does.” He answers his smirk still on his face which causes me to snap “What else?!” We’d actually had a similar argument back at the housing development with a can of food that we found that didn’t have a label anymore. For some reason every can that we found in that house didn’t have a label. I even debated about looking in the fridge it see if there was labels on that stuff but thought better of it. Power had been out for weeks and anything that needed to be in the fridge to stay good was definitely rotten. Let’s just say it wasn’t tuna but minced clams. The only type of seafood I can tolerate eating is tuna, which Merle knew, so he got a couple nice punches and choice words while he just laughed calling me a child.

“Some of them said it was like pork.” Daryl half-growls then pointing his knife in the direction of camp so I tell him “Thank you.” Before snapping at Merle “Was that so hard?” “Down girl.” Merle chuckles then causing me to push him off the log with an “I’m not a dog.” “Cat then?” He chuckles earning a nice kick to the ribs with a snapped “No.” “Aw is the little girl upset?” He chuckles but this time catches my foot and pushes me off the other side of the log earning a yelped “Merle!” from me and a growled “Go flirt somewhere else.” From Daryl. Which causes Merle and I to laugh out “Flirt? With him/her? Yer crazy little brother/younger Dixon.”

Day Six

“Hey, Bethy Boo.” I greet walking into the room she was in with Maggie after she told me she was out of her shock. “Nai…Mom and Shawn.” Beth breathes out with tears in her eyes so I say a gentle “I know, Boo.” As I go and hug her to me. Maggie joins us before questioning Beth “Hungry?” as we both release her. “No.” She answers so I tell her “Ya still need to eat something.” This causes her to get angry as she snaps “Or what? You’re going to force me? You’re not even my real sister.” “I’m just as much yer sister as Maggie is Beth. But if ya feel that way I’ll leave.” I tell her turning and leaving with Maggie close behind and as soon as we get out of the room she grabs my arm saying “She doesn’t mean that.” “Look, Maggie, deep down I know you feel that way too. My personality isn’t the easiest to get along with and we’re not related by blood.” I tell her gently taking her hand off my arm causing her to say “That’s not true Nai.” “It is true Maggie.” I sigh while turning away from her and walking away, not waiting for a response.

Day Seven

Rick and Shane had just left with Randall when I went into the kitchen where Maggie and Lori were at, just like that first morning back. “Hey.” I greet earning one back from the two before Maggie hands me a half of tomato with a “Here.” “Thanks.” I tell her before taking a bite of it as she looks at Lori questioning “Rick say anything to you about Glenn when they got back from town?” “Just that it had gotten pretty bad.” Lori answers causing Maggie to say “He’s not the same. Says he froze. Blames me. Says I got inside his head.” “He came back. That’s what matters…Men have to do certain things, you know that, and they’re either gonna blame the little woman as the reason they do ‘em or the reason they don’t. I’ll tell you something. What happens out there, happens out there. And we…we’re just trying to keep it together till they get back.” Lori says causing Maggie to start to say “Things were good. Maybe I-““Glenn’s a big boy. He makes his own choices. I mean, do you…do you have anything to apologize for?” Lori says cutting her off so I say “That’s right. Do you have anything to apologize for?”

Maggie shakes her head no so Lori says “Tell him to man up and pull himself together. Just don’t say, ‘Man up’. It never goes well.” With a chuckle at the end. “Nope.” I state with a chuckle as well causing Maggie to smile at me before Lori asks “So Maggie’s into Glenn but who’s Nai into?” looking at me and taking a bite out of a cucumber slice. “What? Nobody.” I state giving her an ‘are you crazy’ look only for Maggie to say “Come on. There has to be someone you find attractive…It better not be Glenn.” “I wouldn’t do that to ya. Besides he ain’t my type.” I inform only for the two women to grin saying “So you do have a type.” “Yer relentless.” I state shaking my head of the picture of Daryl that popped up as there’s no way I would let myself like him like that which just causes the two women to chuckle. Maggie then goes to grab the tray of food they were making saying “Let me just get this to Beth.” “You go on. I got it.” Lori tells her grabbing the tray and walking off before Maggie could counter her.

“I don’t like anybody.” I state again when Maggie gives me a look that told me she didn’t believe me. “Sure. But when I catch you with one of them you owe me.” She tells me causing me to roll my eyes before she adds “By the way…do you think you could go and collect the apples we can’t reach with the ladder.” While grabbing the empty basket next to her and holding it out to me. “Fine.” I say taking it from her before adding “But if I fall you owe me.” Which causes her to laugh as I head outside and towards the apple tree. I was happy that she dropped the subject from yesterday and about who I would like. I know they truly saw me as part of the family but there would always be some part of them that knew I’d never truly be part of it.

I had just started climbing the tree after positioning the basket where I could easily drop the apples into when a voice says “Hey.” Not expecting it I get startled and slip a little but catch myself before snapping “What the hell? Trying to kill me?” “We need to talk.” Daryl says then so I say “I’m busy.” “I don’t care.” He answers causing me to sigh and fully sit down on the branch I was on while looking down at him stating “Fine. What?” “What’d ya do to my brother?” He growls then so I state “Other than save his life? Nothin’.” “Then why…why does he treat ya like that?” He questions causing me to roll my eyes as I say “I’m gonna need a little more than that Daryl.” “Normal! He treats ya normally! Not like he does any of the others…or me.” He snaps before getting quiet as he adds the last part so I say “So that’s why ya have a problem with me…Look, I don’t really know why Merle and I get along as well as we do. Hell, I tried leaving him back in Atlanta after taking him back to my apartment to clean his arm but he followed me. So if ya really want to know ask him.”

He opens his mouth to say something but before he could Andrea runs up exclaiming “Daryl have you seen Nai?!” “I’m right here. What’s up?” I question climbing down causing her to say “It’s Beth.” “Shit.” I say before telling Daryl “We’ll have to finish our talk later.” He just nods so I take off towards the house.

****Time Skip****

“Are you crazy?!” I snap at Beth so Maggie asks “What if Dad finds out?” “What’s he gonna do? Kill me for committing suicide?” “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I sigh dragging my hands over my face as Maggie walks over to her, sits on the edge of the bed saying “Stop being such a brat. He’d die. So would I. And Nai. This isn’t just about you. We all lost mom.” “May lose each other, and I couldn’t stand that.” Beth says causing me to question “So you give up?” so Maggie adds “Mom would be ashamed to know she raised such a coward. What about Dad, Beth?” “He’s clueless. He had us waiting for a cure.” Beth says with venom in her voice causing Maggie to fire back “He knows he was wrong.” “When has Dad ever admitted he was wrong? He’s just telling Rick’s group what they want to hear.” Beth says so Maggie questions “And Jimmy?” “We went out for three months and now I’m married to him?” Beth answers so Maggie asks “And me? You could do that to me? I can’t take another funeral.” Her voice cracking.

“You can’t avoid it.” Beth says then causing me to yell “Beth!” “What are we waiting for?” She questions looking between Maggie and me as she continues “We should all do it.” “What?” Maggie and I breathe out causing Beth to say “At the same time. Help each other.” “No.” Maggie says but Beth continues “It’s hard to do it. No one wants to, but…we could do it so it’s easy. Our choice.” “No! Stop talking like that!” Maggie yells crying but Beth says “Then it would be over. Or we’ll be forced to do it when the farm and this house is overrun. No one can protect us.” “That’s not true.” Maggie says shaking her head causing Beth to say “Who, Glenn? I heard what happened. Rick will save his family, the others too. We’re alone. You, me, Nai, Patricia, with only Dad and Jimmy against a whole world of those things.” “I haven’t been back here long but I know Rick would do everything in his power to help us!” I snap only for her to snap back at me “I don’t want to be gutted!” before looking between the two of us again adding “I want to go…in this bed tonight…with my sisters beside me…Please.”

“Dammit Beth!” I shout before yelling “To kill yerself because yer scared?! Grow the fuck up! What if I did that?! Huh?! Way back when or back in Atlanta?! I will do everything in my power to protect ya! Hell I’d die for ya, kill for ya, or anything for ya or anyone in this family! But I will not let ya kill yerself! Ya hear me?!” She just looks at me defiantly so I yell another “Dammit Beth!” before storming out of the room and slamming the door behind me. I really need to hit something now as I violently rubbed my head, surely making my hair a mess, while going to try and cool off on the porch.

I’m soon joined by Maggie so I ask “Who’s with her?” “Andrea.” She answers before saying “I don’t know what to do to help her.” “I don’t either.” I sigh placing my head in my hands. I had no idea how to handle this and it was driving me insane.

****Time Skip****

Walking back into the room, after we’ve both calmed down, we discover it’s empty. We look at each other confused before we hear crying from the bathroom. “Beth?” we question walking over to the bathroom door before we hear glass breaking causing us to run to it yelling “Beth?!” We bang on the door and Maggie tries the handle but it’s locked. “Beth open the damn door!” I order as Lori comes in questioning “What’s wrong?” “She’s in there. We heard glass.” Maggie answers causing Lori to come over asking “Beth, you all right?” “Don’t do this, Beth. Don’t do this. Open up, please.” Maggie tries one more time before turning to look for the key saying “God, I left her with Andrea.” “Where’s the key?” Lori asks causing me to snap “If we knew we’d already have the door open.” Maggie gives up trying to find the key and comes back pleading “Beth, honey, please open the door. We’re not mad. We’re not mad, Beth.” While Lori goes over to the fireplace.

“Move.” I hear Lori say then so I turn and see that she’d grabbed the fireplace stick. I move and Lori quickly uses it like a crowbar and pries open the door. Beth turns around holding a hand over her wrist as it bleed all over the floor while crying “I’m sorry.” Maggie and I quickly go over to her and take her in our arms telling her “Okay. It’s okay.” As we lead her back to the bed. “Lori can ya please run and get our Dad?” I question taking Beth’s bleeding wrist in my own hands, placing as much pressure as possible. I wouldn’t be able to do anything without something to stop the bleeding or stitch the wound. Soon Hershel comes in with Lori and Patricia following close behind and he, Patricia, and I get to work.

After Beth’s wrist was stitched and bandaged I stand and storm out of the room and outside. I know I’m being followed but I don’t care enough to turn around. Just as I step outside the source of my rage was running up to the house, Andrea. “I just heard is she okay?” she questions only for me to shout “She would be if ya had stayed with her! Where were ya?!” “How bad is she?” She questions and Lori answers “It wasn’t deep.” From behind me causing Andrea to take a sigh of relief as she says “She wants to live. She made her decision.” “She tried to kill herself.” Maggie says as it was taking all my self-control to not beat the ever-loving shit out of Andrea.

“No she didn’t.” Andrea says causing me to snap “I just got done stitching her wrist!” “She’ll live.” She tells me going to walk past us causing me to snap completely and punch her as hard as I could, sending her falling back and to the ground holding her face. “Stay the hell away from her! From her, Maggie, and me. Don’t you dare step foot inside this house again. Ya hear me?” I yell at her practically seething causing her to nod as she picks herself up off the ground and walks back in the direction she came from. With that I storm back into the house in into my room. I shut the door behind me before walking over and going into my closet. Closing the door behind me I situate myself in a spot on the floor. Closing my eyes I focus on listening to the sounds surrounding me trying to calm myself down. I’ve never been this mad at someone even my biological parents when I realized they weren’t coming back for me. Even when Merle almost got us killed…It scared me and I didn’t know what I would end up doing if I stayed this mad.

After a few minutes I hear the sound of my door opening followed by soft steps into my room. Not surprisingly it was Lori’s voice who calls “Nai?” Sighing I stand and open the closet door, effectively causing her to jump and gasp “God, Nai. You scared me.” “Sorry.” I say stepping out of the closet so she says “Look, I’m not gonna say she was right, but Beth has made her choice. She wants to live and now she knows it. And sometimes you have to cross the line.” I take a deep breath as I look away from her not answering. “Nai…honey. Are you okay?” She questions gently startling me enough to look at her breathing out “I don’t know.” She smiles, comes over, and gives me a hug saying “It’s okay, Nai. No one blames you for hitting Andrea. Not even her.” I push her away but still find myself saying “I know…It’s…It’s just…I’ve never been that angry before…It scared me…I scared me.” “Oh honey. Your reaction was completely reasonable. Your baby sister was suicidal and you and Maggie trusted her to watch her.” She says placing her hands on my shoulders and giving a comforting rub as she continues “Look…Andrea’s sister died the night our previous camp got overrun and she wanted to stay at the CDC seconds before it blew up. But Dale made her get out then took away her gun. She then got attacked by a walker but didn’t have a weapon. Regardless she fought and decided she wanted to live herself. She thought the best thing would be to let Beth decided the same. I’m just asking you to see why she did what she did and to forgive her.” I sigh and look away from her with an “I make no promises.”

#fanfic #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl x oc #merle dixon #original character

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