When your day devolves from...

to...

Someone just came over the P.A. system at work and announced,

"Try it again! Reset!"

I think my reaction counted as a small mental breakdown.

Co-Worker: Why is there a Milk-Bone in your bag? Me: Because I've lost control of my life, Helen. Leave it alone.

I just talked myself out of an anxiety attack.

No, seriously. This is huge for me. I don't get like this often, but I've always spiraled down with it. Let it win, and let it pass. Today, I guess I just decided I'd had enough of my own shit. Took me less than a minute to pull myself back off the ledge. I'm a little embarrassed with myself, but this is the clearest I have felt in weeks.

Fucking weeks.

Warn me if this is unhealthy. And forgive me if this is an eye-roller, but I'm thirty-five years old, and I feel like I just unlocked a new super power.

P.S. Still don't wanna' be at work. Guess that part wasn't anxiety related, after all.

I was done with today when I thought our boss came out of his office and asked where we keep the cocaine.

I know that everyone has days where they are overwhelmed. Frustrated. Ready to cry and scream and laugh all at once. Fantasizing about quitting their jobs and running away to some foreign place that may or may not actually exist. I know those days happen. I know they are common. I just hate when they come around.

One of my co-workers is from Nepal, and she makes these fabulous noodles (vegetarian) that are unlike anything I have ever eaten. SO good. She made them for lunch today, and this is my reminder to ask her how the hell she makes them, because I could eat these three times a day, no problem.

*melts into a puddle*

So. We just had a Gaston sing-along at work.

Picture it. Eight adult women. Belting it out. My boot up on the desk as I let out, "I use antlers in all of my decorating!" It was fantastic.

Not on today's Bingo card, but certainly a highlight to my day.

Oh, to give my co-workers an obnoxious rendition of Too Much Time On My Hands while I can barely find two seconds to breathe.

THE BANK MANAGER GUSHTXGJXTJ lmao. can you imagine having that interview now tho? older, wiser, definitely walking out the door right after the tree thing 😂

HA. You aren't kidding! Thinking about it now, I am actually quite thankful I didn't land that position. People need to be capable of their jobs. Playing guessing games is just... childish, to say the least.

Must be she needed to remove the sequoia from her ass.

And, quite frankly, I have enough experience with being smarter and more capable than my 'higher-ups'. (Stated with true confidence). One electric fence I'm glad I didn't try to hurtle.

Getting frustrated. Twice today, my boss has interrupted my breaks for things that could have waited. The first one was my damned lunch. It may sound petty, but I rarely get to take my breaks at all. The days I can - headphones in, and relaxing - he has to interrupt me. What the actual fuck.

Dear Labor Department,

It's nice to want.

Affectionately, A Dissatisfied Customer

Y'know... When I have to cover for someone at work, I make sure that the job is done, 100%. Those tasks comes ahead of my own. When I was out sick last week? It doesn't look like a damn thing of mine that wasn't an Absolute Must was touched.

I think it's time I re-evaluate what the fuck I'm doing in this place.

My co-worker had a bunch of dip mixes on her desk, one of which was setting her into a coughing fit. We isolated the guilty party (Garlic Chipotle), and she gave it to me. Now, I can't stop taking little sniffs of it (through the plastic, of course). Suddenly, it hit me.

This mix was trying to kill her, and I'm over here using it for aromatherapy.

I really am the Devil's spawn, huh?

The Desk Logs - October 6th, 2022

Huh. I just got a raise.

The Desk Logs - October 6th, 2022

Sitting at my desk, half-asleep. Just before 8:00 am, I hear someone in the warehouse shout, at the tops of their lungs,

"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!"

Yeah. We're going to have that kind of Thursday.