The point of self-esteem and inferiority. And the solution_4

5. Solution - You have to move.

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When a problem comes up, a solution comes out automatically. The problem is that the inferiority complex has not been resolved. Then, solving the inferiority complex solves the problem. Inferiority is actually relieved when I become a satisfactory person. I can actually level up.

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<Step 1> Face me as I am. That's how you live in reality, and you can only make efforts in reality.

<Step 2> You can set and practice realistic and specific goals.

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<Step 1> Once you see it as it is, say it as much as you feel, and say as much as you know. It's hard at first. When I endure this exaggerated desire to express myself, emptiness and boredom pours in. You have to put up with it. Only then can the empty space be filled with practical effort.

You just have to accept me as I am. Then I don't hide my impure intention to ask someone to recognize me who is greater, and I don't have expectations. If you feel inferior, you can just make practical and realistic efforts to be better. If I'm 50, I just have to focus on trying to be 80 while being a 50 guy. Don't try to look like a fake 80, don't expect to see it as 80. I'm 50 years old.

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This is the real Carpe diem. The original meaning of Carpe diem is not to indulge in this moment, but to immerse yourself in this moment. I mean, I should not do delusions floating around to become a better me, but immerse myself in the action that actually changes me at this moment.

On the contrary, in order for this to be possible, you must first kill expectations. Don't look forward to it. The more you have expectations from others, the more artificial actions and thoughts you take to meet those expectations. I want to be a person who meets expectations, not a real "me." Because I have a lot of expectations, I am conscious of other people's eyes, and I cannot express my true feelings honestly. Because I'm full of expectations to look like a cool ideal person. If I reveal myself honestly, I won't look like 80. I'll look like I'm 50 people.

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<Step 2> Specifically, you can do this. It's the best way I've ever done it, the fastest way to raise self-esteem and make inferiority disappear.

Sitting at my desk, I think of myself as wonderful as I wish. And I write down what I need to have to be like (academic background, job, money, ability, status, personality, whatever). And write down the specific goals you need to do to have it. Divide the goal into a daily unit and write down the to do list for tomorrow in detail from 1 to a few times. Go to bed early and wake up early the next day to break down the to do list one by one. If you finish your to do list that night, your self-esteem will go up. I feel like I'm living in reality. I repeat this. The end.

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This is the real way to raise self-esteem that vague, vague self-improvement books like "love yourself" don't tell you. It is not important to analyze childhood trauma to raise self-esteem, fall deeper into self-consciousness, write emotional writings, lose psychological books, and love me as I am, going to restaurants and thinking about luxury goods. I don't want to make realistic efforts even if I die, so I'm running away while rationalizing it with that. Or just accept me as I am and live.

I want to be amazing, but I don't want to try. That state is another word for low self-esteem. Drinking dew at home, swearing at my boss, calling a friend to complain, going to a good hotel and posting pretty pictures on Instagram, posting Mercedes photos, and putting on #healing tags does not increase my self-esteem.

What I want to be, that is, a realistic and specific goal to be '80', and a practical action to break down the goal step by step by day. This is the essence. Just one day makes me feel different. It's even addictive.

The point of self-esteem and inferiority. And the solution_3

4. Self-esteem and inferiority complex ​ Self-esteem is 'feeling' in the first place, that is, feeling. Feeling is a post-mortem response to a stimulus. I feel like I'm sick when someone hits me, and I feel like I'm sweet when I eat something sweet. The same is true of self-esteem. If I live well, I will feel a sense of self-esteem, and if I live doing useless things, I will not feel a sense of self-esteem. So self-esteem is just a post-mortem feeling of my actions (stimulation). Self-esteem itself is not the driving force behind doing something different. It's not that you can't do anything because you don't have self-esteem, but because you don't do anything, you don Self-esteem is an indicator of how well I live. If you spend a day on YouTube unnecessarily, you can't sleep and feel depressed at night. I don't feel any self-esteem. I want to be compensated for the day, so I can't sleep more because I feel guilty about what to say something. ​ If you have insomnia, you should check if you are basically spending your day lazy. There are so many self-esteem-related contents these days that self-esteem is amazing and formed by past experiences when young, and it goes up and down with every word of old people, and it's very difficult to have, but I don't think it's a great thing. Self-esteem is just an assessment and feeling of myself for my actions. So raising your self-esteem is simple. When I evaluate myself, I just have to do something decent. Just plan and practice the day. Grow 'me' in reality gradually like this, and kill 'me' who wants to be recognized as a virtual fake 'me' ideal 'me' Set the target of the struggle not the world but the fake 'me'. And fight and kill. This is the conclusion. ​ You have to work hard no matter what! Live hard! Be a lawyer, judge, doctor, a big company employee! That's not what I'm saying. The standard is always subjective. You can make a practical effort to meet my standards. For example, if you say that your ideal appearance is good to play with your friends even if you earn a small amount of money while doing a local beer shop, you can make an effort accordingly. Whether I study interior design, develop personality or humor that my friends want to talk to me, study basic sales, management, marketing, study beer, etc. I will have to fill the day with concrete actions to become the ideal figure I want. ​ In summary, inferiority "sense" is a post-mortem sense that you cannot be satisfied with "me" as it is, and a post-mortem sense of whether you are doing well in practical efforts to resolve your self-esteem "sense of inferiority." If I feel inferiority, it is a sign that I am not satisfied now, and self-esteem is a sign of whether I am taking action to relieve that inferiority complex. To eliminate inferiority complex, you can become a person who is satisfied with yourself, and to increase self-esteem, you can make realistic efforts. How can I not respect myself for making realistic efforts? If you don't feel self-esteem even if you try realistically, you're trying in the wrong direction that your inferiority complex can't be resolved.

The point of self-esteem and inferiority. And the solution_2

2. A feeling of inferiority ​ Then why do you hide your intentions in words like this? Why am I deftly pretending to be pure on the outside and to be serious in conversation, but hiding my intention to be recognized inside? ​ It's because of a sense of inferiority. I feel inferior to myself. I can't accept myself as I am now. He keeps talking like he's more amazing than I am, he keeps talking like he knows more than I know, and he keeps trying to be something greater than he is now. In other words, you can't accept me now.



" Everyone has a feeling of inferiority. But no one can endure a sense of inferiority for long. "



It's a phrase I've read somewhere. Inferiority in nature is a positive thing. It's a fundamental driving force for people to try. However, for some reason, if the inferiority complex is not resolved, people are said to be bluffing and bragging. It's because of the desire to be compensated for that inferiority complex. The way I hide my intentions is exactly the same. Rather than revealing the actual "me" as it is, I keep decorating the virtual "me" that I think will be cooler, and firing comments with impure intentions. I want to be rewarded for my inferiority complex at such a low price. In a way, it may be natural. In fact, I know it roughly in my head, and it may be common sense in an era where this knowledge of self-development has become popular, such as self-esteem or inferiority. But simply knowing in your head and feeling it and being aware of it are different. ​ ​ 3. I'm stuck in the mirror. No matter who I look at, I can only see myself. ​ This is extremely dangerous. Because I can't reveal myself as I am, people only see my fake self, and they don't reveal my real self, so the more I feel empty and empty the more provocatively I make up and say that the more I get attention. It's a vicious circle. People like this always have a lot of thoughts in their heads. He is self-conscious. I always think about myself. ​ I keep running away into my thoughts because I can't accept reality. The smarter you are, the more sophisticated you make your own world, and later you believe it without realizing it. He doesn't listen to others very well. I can't hear you. Rapper C Jam once said this. "I feel like I'm living in a mirror. I have a strong self-consciousness, so I can only see myself because it is reflected wherever I look. I want to break this mirror, but..." That's quite an agreeable thing to say. Run away to the world, settle down. This process happens slowly and very finely and doesn't even realize that you're doing it now.

 The real "me" in reality and the imaginary ideal "me" are separated, so they do not live the real "me" life, but live as a virtual "me." You get to live a fake life. I cling to this idea every moment. "Is he looking at me as a virtual 'me' and the cool 'me' I think?" And he fills all his thoughts, words and actions with expectations. So I keep getting upset and annoyed. In fact, there is no one who can satisfy my enormous expectations. This is impossible even for mom and dad. Even when talking, I don't listen to the other person (I don't think you can hear me), or I only think about what I have to say. Or, he pretends to listen to the other person and tells similar stories. It's a story that I look great. Please recognize me, I even think about this, I've experienced this before. ​ In this way, the expectation of being recognized as fake, not the real life of "I," continues.

The point of self-esteem and inferiority. And the solution_1

This will be a rather long article. However, this article contains my thoughts on self-esteem and inferiority and the know-how of solutions. ​ It includes organizing my thoughts and making a promise to myself. ​ I hope it will help those who are struggling with self-esteem and inferiority.

-------- 1. Do you often argue or get angry at the feeling of someone contradicting me? ​ I sometimes end up arguing unintentionally in my life. Especially close friends seem to argue more. While dating, it seems that whoever the other person was arguing in a similar pattern. ​ I suddenly realized. Sometimes whenever I said what I thought, I didn't really say what I thought. I'm actually ("I'm cool, right? I even think about this! I used to say that with the intention of "Admit me!" On the surface, I pretended to say my thoughts purely, to say simple knowledge, but the intention was hidden to acknowledge me. On the surface, he talks with a subtle lofty air, but in fact, he hid a very impure intention. So when someone refutes, you want to argue. I'm cool, right? I asked you to acknowledge me, but I feel ignored because the other person doesn't admit it and refutes it. In the first place, I set up all the pictures I wanted and I'm expecting a reply like you, "Now tell me what I expect!" My horse's departure itself was a problem in the first place. In fact, I am not angry because the other party contradicts me. I hid my intention to recognize me, and I had a lot of expectations for recognition, so if I didn't defend my words, I felt disappointed and betrayed. ​ The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment. This does not seem to be limited to the desire to be recognized. I think all the intentions of hiding in words are actually bad. The same is true of the intention to be considerate of someone or to empathize. Of course, there is no problem if you are purely and truly trying to be considerate. It doesn't matter what I say with all my heart. However, I want to avoid conflict, because of the atmosphere, because I want to be a good person, and if I say it with a fake intention, I expect that the other person should also treat my consideration and empathy favorably. If the other person speaks honestly about his or her beliefs, the expectation will turn into a sense of betrayal. Even if the other person responds favorably, the relationship is awkward in all likelihood. We're both fake anyway. I'm feeling both of them. ​ If you hide your intention in words, you will expect from the other person and be disappointed. In fact, I can see that you're hiding your intentions like this. Everyone knows except me. I'm just letting it go because I'm afraid it'll be embarrassing. ​ In this way, if you hide your ulterior motive and say it, you will be ignored more. It's obvious that this guy's size comes out, but the guy who's about 50 acts like the guy who's about 80. A person intuitively notices a fake. It's instinct.