#Morro Bay Harbor | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goldenavenger02 · 5 months

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i'm stuck between my anger and the blame i can't face

“Lloyd doesn’t blame you, none of us blame you. How were you supposed to know that he would get possessed by a teenage ghost with a vengeance?”

“I know that they don’t blame me, but..” Kai swallowed, rubbing his eyes on his red, dirty sleeve to keep the tears at bay, “I just wish I had gotten a really, really good punch in.”

‘Morro is so lucky that he’s already dead,’ Kai thought to himself as he chewed on his already raw lip and the bitter taste of coppery blood coated his taste buds.

He was aware that it was swollen with how many times it had broken open in the last day along with the fact that his hair was falling out of place due to the crusted salt water coating his scalp but compared to Lloyd, Kai had never looked better.

Despite the fact that it had been caused by their Sensei’s former student, the master of fire was painfully aware that there was no one to blame but himself for what had happened at the museum just a few weeks ago.

The misstep the team, especially himself, had made in letting Lloyd go by himself had now led to the youngest of the bunch being admitted into the hospital for an array of injuries and symptoms after collapsing against Nya’s armored chest when they had arrived at the harbors in the small riverboat.

And despite everything, Kai was all but forced to stay put in the tiny waiting room, biting at his fat lip to keep from blowing everything apart with bursts of burning flames from sheer anger and if some of the sinking guilt exited through it, that was fine by him.

But, he knew he had to keep it inside so no one else got hurt because the last thing he wanted was to hurt someone else even if Morro really deserved it right now.

“Hey, Kai?” Nya’s hand was soft on his shoulder as he was brought out of his thoughts to see his little sister with hair in a similar state of disarray that his own was and a water bottle in her hand, “you need to drink this.”

“I don’t want-”

“Take the water, dumbass,” Nya insisted, pushing the water bottle into his hand, “you and Jay are both dehydrated as hell and I do not want someone else getting admitted into the hospital tonight,” Kai couldn’t fight with her on that and screwed off the small plastic lid, washing away the bloody taste in his mouth with the cool, refreshing liquid, “and don’t chug.”

Kai pulled away the water bottle from his lips, wiping the drips off of his chin with his sleeve before feeling exhaustion pull at the genuine smile he offered his little sister, “I’m proud of you, the whole true potential thing.”

“Thanks,” she smiled briefly, her hand going to the back of her neck in a moment of timidness that Kai hadn’t seen in a very long time, “but, we all did great today. I just wish I had actually hit Morro after everything he did to Lloyd.”

Kai couldn’t stop himself from nodding; he knew that as the ninja, they were supposed to take the high road and not stoop down to the level of their enemies, but at the same time, the enemy had gone too far this time.

It felt as though even Lloyd had given up the golden power that the Overlord had coveted, he still had a massive target on his back just by existing.

“Kai, you’re zoning out again,” Nya spoke up, bringing him back to fluorescent lights and the pit of worry deep within his gut, “get another drink.”

He knew better than to fight with his little sister when he could see the worry reflecting in her brown eyes and as he sipped at the water again, he couldn’t stop himself from sending up a quick prayer to The First Spinjitzu Master or whoever else was listening.

‘Please help Lloyd heal.’

…

Lloyd’s cheeks were slightly flushed in the soft glow of the fluorescent lamp illuminating the room just enough for the hourly vital checks that the green ninja was being subjected to until he improved.

Kai could have focused on any number of things when he was finally let in to see Lloyd after Sensei and Misako left to get some much needed sleep and Nya was satisfied with his water intake.

The mild bruising around the IV site he could see just starting to creep out from the bandage that covered the back of his hand, the oxygen mask that looked way too big for his face being held on by two elastic straps going over his ears, the dark purple and reds that made up his under eyes, or even the pale tint to his skin everywhere but his cheeks.

But all he could focus on was the light flush that told him that he was no longer possessed, that he was alive and that he would recover in time.

The reassurance of the pink cheeks along with the steady breathing despite the wheeze when he inhaled was enough for Kai to pull his eyes away from his unmoving body and distract himself with his phone since he knew that there was no possible way he would be getting sleep tonight.

He wasn’t sure how long he was scrolling mindlessly to distract himself but it did mean that he was looking at the screen when the screen dimmed to a black screen and the vibrations started to reveal a phone call from Skylor.

“Hello?” He couldn’t stop the yawn from escaping his lips as he spoke.

“Hey, I was getting ready to close for the night and I saw the news. Is Lloyd okay?”

Kai swallowed as he glanced at Lloyd with the large oxygen mask obscuring most of his view of his face before he managed a response, “we’re at Ninjago General, but he’s been pretty stable for the last few hours.”

“Okay,” Skylor paused for a moment and Kai heard some rustling in the background that he couldn’t place, “is it just you and Lloyd?”

“Yeah, the others needed sleep.” Kai confirmed, keeping the thought of ‘they were actually able to help’ to himself, knowing it would just worry her more.

“Do you want some food? I can be there in ten minutes.”

Now that he thought about it, noodles sounded good to his stomach that hadn’t had anything but water since right before they had made their way to Stiix that afternoon and just the thought of food made his stomach growl.

But he couldn’t leave Lloyd by himself, again. ‘Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.’

“Kai?” Her voice came back and he could hear the concern etched in it even through the distortion of his cell phone, “I said I can bring it to the room if you want me to meet you there instead.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that works,” Kai agreed, the relief filling him quickly as he added, “he’s on the pediatric ward, on the second floor, room eleven.”

“See you in fifteen.”

…

Kai had watched Skylor cook before; keeping customers calm and collected while simultaneously putting ingredients together based on the recipes she had grown up cooking and eating on the island her father had been banished to; for her, it was all she knew but for him, it was the ultimate comfort food.

It tasted like home, it tasted like the first time he and Nya had enough money for more than new materials, power bills and seeds to grow their own food, it tasted like the the two of them ordering off of the one dollar menu for the very first time, it tasted like finding a speck of light in an otherwise suffocating darkness.

That first time they had gone, Kai had ordered the seemingly simple noodle soup but when he had brought the spoon to his lips for the first time, he was overwhelmed with how fantastic the flavors melded together. Bok choy, rice noodles, spicy shreds of chicken, green onion, chili paste and ginger all swimming in a golden, rich, chicken broth; it was the first time he had found comfort in food, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Even now, sitting face to face with Skylor as she tried to coax him into eating some of her puffy potstickers and chocolate-covered shell peas, all he could do was try and breathe in the comforting smell of his soup while simultaneously try to drown out the light hiss of the oxygen mask and the consistent beeping of the various monitors.

“Nya tried to keep me updated on everything, after Garmadon…” Skylor’s voice was quiet even while breaking the silence, “but after telling me that you four had lost your powers, she kind of ghosted me. I know that you two don’t usually check your phones while you’re preoccupied, so I was waiting for her to text me back again.”

Kai nodded, still unable to find his voice which gave Skylor the chance to keep talking, “after all, it’s only been a couple of weeks since she sent me that message,” ‘it had only been a couple of weeks?’, “but when I saw the news coverage, and I saw how sick Lloyd looked, I had to find out-”

“It’s my fault.” He spoke before even fully thinking about what he was saying, stopping Skylor in her sentence; but once the dam burst, he couldn’t stop talking, saying exactly what had been on his mind since that night where he fought the one he swore to protect outside of Steep Wisdom.

“I let him go without backup after I promised him that I would watch out for him. I broke through to him twice and I couldn’t get him back either time. I let him get dragged into the Cursed Realm-”

“Kai,” Skylor’s hand was soft against his glove; while it effectively cut off his rambling, it didn’t stop the tears that had started to build in his eyes and blur his vision, “Lloyd doesn’t blame you, none of us blame you. How were you supposed to know that he would get possessed by a teenage ghost with a vengeance?”

“I know that they don’t blame me, but..” Kai swallowed, rubbing his eyes on his red, dirty sleeve to keep the tears at bay, “I just wish I had gotten a really, really good punch in.”

Skylor squeezed his hand tightly, her familiar smile gracing her face for a moment before morphing into a more empathic expression as she spoke, “I think the only person who blames you is you and the only person who can forgive you is you,” she stopped to hand him a puffy potsticker, the light scent immediately hitting his nose with a wave of comfort, “but you really have to eat more than dollar menu soup so you can get some sleep. Lloyd is going to be asleep for a while.”

Kai never claimed to be an expert on anything, but he did know when it was better to just do as he was told, especially when it was from someone who had a much clearer state of mind, so he ate the potsticker, took a long drink of water and finally let himself relax in the armchair next to Lloyd.

He wasn’t sure when Skylor left, but he did know that at some point he felt a blanket being tossed over his legs and a soft kiss being pressed to his cheek before he succumbed to the mind-numbing darkness.

…

Kai woke up to chaos.

The sun shone in his eyes, the blanket that had been put on him had fallen to the floor at some point while he was sleeping and he could hear rapid, loud beeping.

Rapid, loud beeping. In a hospital. Where Lloyd was hooked up to so many monitors. Where any number of things could go wrong.

He stood up before he fully had a chance to process anything that was happening around him, his hands reaching out in fists to either fight someone or to let go of his palms in order to figure out what had happened while he had stupidly let his guard down and slept.

But when he blinked, he saw Lloyd looking right at him with a tired smile, his oxygen mask now replaced with a nasal cannula, as a doctor continued to fiddle with the monitor with her face pressed into mild frustration.

“Sorry for waking you up like that,” Lloyd muttered quietly, his voice just above a whisper while he continued to smirk, “The monitor got unstuck.”

“When did you wake up?” Kai asked, still trying to shake away the adrenaline that had thoroughly encased his under-caffeinated mind.

“He woke up a few times last night, but only for a few minutes at a time,” the doctor supplied, seemingly content with the monitor now that it was reattached to Lloyd’s body and beeping steadily, “this is the first time he’s really been awake.”

“Finally got caught up on sleep,” Lloyd added, his tired smile widening before turning to the doctor, gesturing to the tubing around his face, “when can this come off?”

“I’d like for your oxygen levels to go up just a bit more before we take you off of supplemental oxygen completely, but that’ll be in a few hours at the most if it stays on this time.”

“Anything to get this itchy thing off of my face,” Lloyd agreed before seemingly remembering some sort of manners and adding a “please” at the end which Kai couldn’t help but smile at given that it had been awhile since he had seen his childish nature.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a couple of hours to check your vitals again.” the doctor told him, disposing of the gloves she had been wearing in the trash can before walking out of the room, leaving Lloyd and Kai by themselves and the guilt slowly started to creep back into Kai’s mind.

‘What are you smiling about when you caused all of this in the first place?’

“You can go get some tea or something,” Lloyd mumbled, his eyes shutting halfway while pulling in a not nearly as wheezey inhale like the ones Kai had fallen asleep to the night before.

“No, I’m okay,” Kai insisted, finally sitting back down in the armchair next to Lloyd and watching as Lloyd reached over and put his hand on top of Kai’s, “are you?”

“Mmhmm, just sleepy,” Lloyd managed a quick nod and a slow blink before asking, “does mom know?”

“I’ll tell the others. You stay awake for a few more minutes,” Kai insisted, pulling out his phone to send a picture of Lloyd to the others, only for Lloyd to stick out his tongue in retaliation right as the photo snapped, “do you really want me to send this,” he stopped to turn the phone screen toward him, “to your mom?”

“They don’t need a picture,” Lloyd huffed, his joking mood completely erased in just one moment that made Kai’s stomach twist with a mix of guilt and worry, “I’m going back to sleep.”

Despite the need to ask and the need to press further, Kai kept his mouth shut; he pocketed his phone and used his free hand to run a hand through Lloyd’s matted hair, feeling him relax into sleep as he did.

After all, he was the one to blame; even if the others didn’t put him at fault, he knew one thing that was true, even if Lloyd only thought it deep within his subconscious.

‘Why would he ever trust me again?’

…

Kai would be lying to himself if he had said that he needed a break from the hospital room.

Even now that Lloyd was awake every few hours and managed to keep conversations going for more than a few sentences with the others, the room still made his stomach turn even before he factored in any of the guilt that hit him whenever Lloyd’s misty, green eyes made contact with his own.

So when Misako, Sensei and Zane had arrived, supplying the fact that Cole and Jay got sidetracked with a robbery, Kai knew that he could safely step out without anything happening to Lloyd.

‘Not that you’re strong enough to stop it regardless.’ His inner voice sneered as he went down to the first floor to find either the cafeteria, fresh air, or the vending machine.

Admittedly, in his search for caffeine so the mild throbbing in his temples would be quelled, he knew he made a wrong turn when he ended up in the waiting room where the hellish nightmare of the last twelve hours had started.

“Anything yet?” Kai couldn’t stop from panting after running straight from The Bounty into the entrance of the hospital, more than likely scaring the receptionist. That or it was the combination of three exhausted ninja, a literal ghost and a Nindroid.

But, if the woman behind the counter was scared, she was fantastic at keeping it to herself as she turned to the computer and asked “name?”

“Lloyd Montgomery-Garmadon.” Nya spoke up, her brother only now realizing how shaky her voice sounded.

“He’s still being treated,” the woman announced as she continued to type away, “immediate family only.”

“We don’t have time for this! His family situation is complicated between the Great Devourer and The First Spinjitzu Master, not even to mention the whole Underworld thing-!”

“Jay!” Cole shouted, effectively cutting off his obviously dehydrated ramblings before giving the woman a polite smile, “what he’s trying to say is that we’re practically his siblings.”

“Take a seat.” The woman responded before turning back to her work, effectively sending the group of six to the chairs that signaled uncertainty.

“I’m gonna go get some water bottles.” Nya announced before she even had a chance to sit down. Zane followed closely behind her to help her carry them, but Kai knew that he was also watching over her to make sure that she also didn’t collapse from the exhaustion of the night.

And while Jay leaned against Cole’s ghostly shoulder, his eyes already shutting with exhaustion, Kai’s stomach turned harshly as he thought about Lloyd and all the unknowns that came along with being unable to see him.

“Kai?”

He should have expected for Nya to find him in the waiting room.

She had always been good at knowing when he was struggling and where he would retreat to when he had the chance, even in an unfamiliar location to the both of them.

“You okay?” She asked, her gloved hand landing on his shoulder.

“Yeah, just looking for some caffeine.” He lied through his teeth, but he should have known better than to try and fool the one who knew him best.

“Vending machine is over there,” she gestured with her hand to the illuminated, refrigerated box in the corner, “what’s really going on?”

“I…I can’t tell you.” Kai stuttered, wincing when he saw Nya’s concern turn into confusion.

“Kai-” she started, seemingly trying to coax him into letting her in, but he cut her off before she could even begin and the fear that had been at the back of his mind for so long that it had become part of his subconscious finally broke free from his lips.

“You won’t see me the same way if I do.”

And with that, he backed away from her, watching as the hand that had rested on his shoulder fell to her side before walking out of the automatic doors and into the streets of New Ninjago City.

He didn’t know where he was going, he didn’t even know where he would end up. All he knew was that he had to get out of that place with its white walls, the stench of rubbing alcohol and the guilt that threatened to swallow him whole.

He made it a street over when he realized that he had left Lloyd again. He made it two before his conscience started screaming at him to ‘go back to the hospital and tell Nya everything.’

When he made it three streets over, the feeling of sterilization left his bones and was replaced with the familiar but loud sounds of the city around him.

It would be comforting if the voice in his mind wasn’t taunting him with thoughts of ‘you left Lloyd again, traitor,’ and ‘if it isn’t Morro, someone else will hurt him. All because you aren’t there. So much for the “Master of Fire”.’

Kai’s feet stopped moving in the middle of the sidewalk; he could feel the citizens of the city shoulder check him or just walk around him, faces moving coming into and disappearing from view in a blur and he was paralyzed, forced to stand on the designated pavement.

His breath hitched and he was suffocating on air. His chest hurt and he couldn’t feel his hands. His back hit the wall of a building as his eyes burned with hot tears and his head wouldn’t stop echoing “your fault, your fault, your fault”-

“Kai? Kai, can you hear me?”

He tried to nod to the distorted voice but his vision wouldn’t focus on the blur of red and orange and his neck felt stiff so he reached a hand out, hoping that the figure would grab onto it; when he had spent weeks with a white bandage covering his right eye and couldn’t find the strength to open the left one, he had found comfort in tight grips around his hands and identifying them based on how hard they squeezed back.

Sure enough, when the person returned his grasp and said something about “try to slow your breathing”, he focused on their hand to see if he could find familiarity in the grooves.

The small piece of callous sticking out of their right thumb was all he needed for his vision to focus and his chest to slow its heaving, but in its wake left a deep seated exhaustion and he had to use all of his strength to keep himself from falling face first into the sidewalk.

“Come on,” Skylor’s voice was soft as she wrapped his arm around her shoulder and wrapped her arm around his side, “let’s get you inside.”

…

After taking a much needed nap on Skylor’s futon and eating two full bowls of ramen, Kai finally had the strength to air out everything he was feeling; it never came this easy when it came to the others, but with her, he had the opposite problem where he couldn’t stop talking.

“-and I know what you said last night, that the only person who can forgive me is myself,” Kai stopped to pull the orange throw tighter around his shoulders before looking back into Skylor’s amber colored eyes, “but I don’t even know how to do that.”

“It’s not easy, and it’s not linear,” the hollowness in her voice nearly matched his own, “it’s easier when you first acknowledge that it’s going to take a while for that to happen, self-forgiveness.”

Kai couldn’t help but wonder what Skylor herself felt guilty for, but he also knew better than to ask; if it was anything like his own situation, he’d much rather she told him when she was ready to.

“Has Wu talked to you six about guilt?” She questioned, moving to sit beside him on the futon and resting her hand on his shoulder, giving him permission to put his head against her, “about how to cope with it?”

“He always says that guilt is a good thing, means that we’re aware of what we’ve done even if it’s a mistake,” Kai sighed, trying to grasp onto the words of his sensei when he had been sick with grief over Zane, “it’s when you start to hate yourself because of your actions that it becomes a problem.”

“Do you?” Skylor asked, her hand running through what would usually be a spike but had fallen down around his scalp.

Kai took a moment to consider it, but ended up shaking his head, “that’s not what this is. I just wish I could have done more. The others had really helpful weapons, Nya’s powers defeated the Preeminent and I…” he swallowed, feeling the stinging tears start to make their appearance, “I had a headband.”

“You felt useless.”

And that’s when it finally hit Kai directly in the chest.

He had always echoed the sentiment that Wu had given them, that they were not just their powers, but after having those powers for a little under two years now, he had let the element take away his sense of self and now that he had it back, he wasn’t sure that he was even worthy of it.

“I wasn’t good at anything before I started training under Sensei,” he let a tiny flame flicker in his hand, a reassurance that Lloyd was okay, “But me and the others, our destiny is to protect Lloyd and when I couldn’t do that…It makes me wonder if I’m good at this at all.”

“You’ve done so much, for Lloyd and for Ninjago,” Skylor insisted, gently pressing a kiss to the top of his head before holding him tighter, “but, self-doubt is a bitch and something I know a thing or two about.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Not as intensive as being one of Ninjago’s sworn protectors or anything, but going from being a pawn in a tournament designed to steal powers to running an entire noodle empire,” Kai could hear her light hearted smirk as she spoke, “let’s just say it’s a massive adjustment.”

“How’d you…you know.” Kai couldn’t find the words as yet another nap threatened to drag him into sleep.

“Learn how to live with it? I brushed myself off, told myself that one angry customer wasn’t going to destroy the entire business and moved on. It wasn’t easy at first, but now? I’m kind of an expert.”

Kai absorbed her words and tried to apply them to his own situation; he knew that the guilt was normal and even expected, but at the same time, he knew that even if he had been at the museum that day, Morro wouldn’t have abandoned his plan when he saw him. He’d either plan a different attack or worse, hurt both of them before taking Lloyd.

Just as an angry customer wouldn’t bring down Mister Chen’s Noodle Emporium, the day at the museum wasn’t going to tear apart his team. ‘So why should it tear me apart?’

“You should go back to sleep, hot shot,” Skylor insisted while maneuvering the comforter so it covered both of them, “I’ll text your sister and let her know you’re safe.”

Kai nodded and shut his eyes, letting the sound of Skylor’s heartbeat lull him into sleep.

The hours passed around him in a blur; he’d wake up, take a drink of water and fall back to sleep. Sometimes Skylor would be there, other times he was all alone. Sometimes the sleep would just be peaceful darkness, but the rest of the time, he was forced to be a fly on the wall as he watched himself go through everything that had happened in the last few weeks.

“Don’t worry, big shot,” pressing his hand into Lloyd’s golden waves, holding onto his arm so he couldn’t escape, “I’ll watch over you from now on.”

That one moment of happiness that was tinged in melancholy grief and the fear of the unknown. After that, all he saw were flashes of himself against the ghost who started all of this.

‘Foolish ninja! Why would you try and take me on all by yourself?!’ rough hands gripped the promotional t-shirt he was wearing, but despite the fear of what would happen to him running through his veins, his fear about Lloyd was stronger.

‘Because I promised to look after Lloyd,’ he maneuvered so his hands were pressing onto his “brother’s” neck, holding him tightly, ‘I know you’re in there, Lloyd. Fight him!’

‘The staff is getting away! Let go of me!’

‘Only when you let go of Lloyd!’

That’s when he heard his voice, raspy and gravely like every word hurt him to say, ‘Kai. Help me!’

The world swirled around him. He was no longer outside of Steep Wisdom, he was on the small boat from Cloud Kingdom, trying to best the sword of sanctuary and destiny at the same time all with just a single aeroblade.

‘I guess both our fates are tested, the only thing is that I already know how mine will end!’ Morro jeered as he engaged in hand to hand combat before stealing the aeroblade with his free hand, leaving Kai backed against the wooden side, ‘now I know how yours will!’

But before he could strike him down, his body stiffened and he nearly fell to his knees as Lloyd’s strained voice broke through, ‘take the sword, Kai! I can’t hold him much longer!’

Once again, the scenery changed. He was no longer in the snow, but rather, in a freezing cold river. Lloyd’s weight was heavy in his right arm as he paddled with his left, desperately trying to avoid going over the waterfall just like the realm crystal.

His cheeks were hot and he could feel a tiny bit of drool on his chin when Skylor finally woke him up for good, pressing a hot mug of tea into his palms once he was sitting up and setting a plate with a couple of pancakes on the coffee table without being asked.

“Thanks, for all of this.” Kai finally said after taking a few sips of the tea, “I really appreciate it.”

Skylor just shrugged in a “it’s nothing” way as she took a bite from her own plate, only speaking after she swallowed, “Nya said that Lloyd got discharged. Do you want me to drop you off at The Bounty after you eat?”

‘You can’t hide from this forever.’

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Kai agreed, savoring the subtle sweetness of the tart blueberries that had been mixed in with the pancake batter, “I’m sure you’re welcome to stick around for a bit afterwards.”

“That’s sweet,” Skylor started, but he could tell by her tone that she was rejecting his offer, “but, I have a lot of reservations at the flagship location today, investors. I’ll drop by for a visit soon though.”

Kai knew that her agreeing to visit soon was the best he was going to get and dropped the topic to finish eating breakfast and run some cold water over his face before they left her apartment.

He was glad that she drove him home, he didn’t feel steady enough to take the wheel and given that Lloyd had just gotten out of the hospital, it would be best if he didn’t get himself admitted in his place.

The drive was silent aside from the sound of the R&B music he seemingly always heard her playing, whether that was in her apartment or in her car; it sounded like everything he loved about her from the small smile that would grace her lips every time she giggled under her breath to the way her hands always knew just how to move in his hair to put out the fiery walls of anger that he more often than not surrounded himself with.

But, the silence was welcome after the chaos of the last few weeks. For Kai, it gave him the chance to breathe and to feel without tears pricking at the corners of his eyes or fire trying to force itself out of his palms.

He could just be, and for that twenty minute drive, that was okay because while the others meant well, she never tried to force the information out of him. She was content to hold his hand and wait for him to be ready and she always knew exactly what to say.

Kai didn’t know if they would last forever, between their busy schedules and his inability to call her when villains arose as everything went to shit, but in these moments where she drove with her left hand and kept her right clasped against his left, he felt like just focusing on the now was enough for both of them.

So when they arrived at The Bounty and he took off his seatbelt, he was fully prepared to just get out of the car until her hand reached out, making him stop.

“You’ve got this. Don’t let them make you talk about it if you don’t want to, okay?”

“I know, Sky.” He nodded, leaning forward to press a kiss to her soft cheek as a good-bye, “I’ll text you in a bit, promise.”

“Okay,” she agreed and let go, waiting until right before he shut the passenger side door to say with a wink, “see you later, Hot Tamale.”

And with that, she drove off; back to the city where her home and her job were, forcing Kai to turn around and board The Bounty, his heart pounding in his chest as he did.

It wasn’t that he was scared of his teammates, his family, but more so that he was worried about the glances that Jay would give Nya, trying to pry information and the questions that would inevitably be asked about why he had left.

He wasn’t surprised to see that the deck was empty. Given the fact that Lloyd had been discharged, he knew that they would all be below deck, probably watching some bad tv show or playing video games.

Sure enough, when he arrived in the living area, he wasn’t shocked to see Cole, Jay and Zane sitting on the floor as they played Fist to Face 2 and he knew that Wu and Misako were more then likely somewhere that was more quiet aboard The Bounty as they finalized the last of the documents from selling Steep Wisdom.

But what he hadn’t expected was to see Nya sitting on the couch, her controller long abandoned as her right hand rested on Lloyd’s shoulder that was under what looked suspiciously like the red and orange blanket that belonged to Kai and was always haphazardly draped over the edge of his bed.

“Hey,” Kai whispered, getting Nya’s attention as he sat down next to Lloyd’s sock covered feet, not wanting to be loud enough that he would open his green eyes, “how is he?”

Nya’s smirk filled her face for a moment as she gently moved her hand up and down the boy’s shoulder, “he’s doing better. He tried to play for a bit but he’s still tired, poor thing,” she looked away from his peaceful face to meet Kai’s eyes, “are you doing better?”

And as Kai around the room for a moment, taking in the familiar glow of the television, the sounds of Jay cheering a bit too loudly only to get shushed by Zane and the pure relaxation that covered Lloyd’s sleeping face despite the signs of exhaustion still being there, he found the strength to meet his sister’s eyes and speak.

“I’m getting there.”

#lego ninjago #ninjago #whump #angst #my writing #fic #kai ninjago #lloyd garmadon #ninjago skylor #ninjago nya #kailor #panic attacks #hospital #hurt lloyd garmadon #sick lloyd garmadon #stressed kai (ninjago)

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