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evilcowgirl · 8 months

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OH MY GOD YOU'RE ALIVE!!!! idek remember my username from when i used to spam u but HI?!?!?!?! i missed you so bad your theme is literally ADORRABLEEEEEEEEEEEE !!

since you said tlou asks are open, could I ask for a drabble w/ ellie? maybe one where the reader comforts her through a panic attack involving joel, or one where her and the reader are snowed in at one of jackson's outposts and end up confessing to eachother? i don't mind which one u pick :333

knuckle velvet ♡

ellie williams/reader

a/n: HI BABE !!!!! I MISSED U 2 THANK U SM :D eeek !! okay okay so i lovee this sm and ill prob. do ur second option soon too bc its soo cute, hope u like this hehe mwah <3

୨♡୧

You still weren't used to this, any of it, and nights like this one reminded you of that fact. The wind caused a whistling sound against the windows that frightened you awake when you were on the verge of sleep. This was nothing compared to the creaking sounds of the old farmhouse that only seemed to happen when you were already paranoid. It helped to have Ellie with you, her presence alone calmed you, made you feel safer. You were safe though, safer than you had been in months. It was just going to take a while to get used to that off-putting feeling of security. You laid awake with your eyes open, staring in the dark at the cracked window that was causing the noises.

You squinted at it, wondering who had left it open and why you'd let yourself get so startled by something as silly as wind blowing through an open window once again. Staring at it wouldn't make it close though and you pulled yourself out of bed to shut it. The moment you brought the window down the noises stopped, leaving the room almost unsettlingly quiet.

You turned around then, spurred on by the silence to face the bed again, searching the cream colored sheets for any sign of Ellie. Your heart beat could be felt through your whole body then. She couldn't have gone far, only an hour ago you were laying side-by-side, sharing body heat and exhales.

"Ellie?" You said into the empty room. It was dark but you knew the layout of your farmhouse well enough to get to where you were going.

You creaked the door open, looking down the short hall to the bathroom. It was slightly open, enough for you to tell no one was inside. You continued out, heading to Ellie's dedicated art room. You'd found her here pretty late in the night a few times before. It happened especially when she was far away in her head. She would lose track of time while hyper focused on her art. Most of the time you let her just until you felt yourself getting tired, then you would finally interrupt to take her to bed with you. You would stroke her hair as she fell asleep, staring at her peaceful face in the darkness. It worried you sometimes, how quiet she got.

Walking in you were met with many versions of your own face. Some pinned in place on the wall and some leaning against it, stapled to canvas. She loved to paint and draw you, it was a love language of sorts and you grew to appreciate it more than anything else. You couldn't imagine a more pure

deceleration of love than to create art in another's image. You felt butterflies every time you thought of her admiring you in that way, so intimately. The room was messy with miscellaneous items, strewn all over the floor and collected in crates with no obvious organization. it had been like this since you found the place, she never took the time to sort through all of her things, and put them where they should be. Still, you never took it upon yourself to touch anything in that room. it was her safe place and you wanted to keep it that way.

The next place to check was downstairs. As you traveled down, felt the air grow colder. You shivered at feeling the coolness on your bare legs and arms, it made you want to hurry back to bed. Not without Ellie though.

"Ellie?" You called out louder than you had before, stepping into the dining room.

Ellie's plate was still there from dinner. She always forgot to clean up after herself but you didn't mind doing it for her. after all that time, you both spent surviving it felt good to live. To have dirty dishes and laundry to be annoyed and not wounds that required stitches and left deep scars. You grabbed the plate and brought it to the sink, placing it as quietly as you could. You were starting to get nervous now. Your chest feeling tight as you wandered. She had to be here. Nothing bad was supposed to happen to either of you while you were here, she promised you that.

The living room was left. It was your favorite part of the house so far. You'd put so much effort into decorating it. Putting things together as nicely as you could like you'd seen in magazines from before. Ellie thought it was a bit silly how much effort you put into getting everything together but in the end she was able to appreciate it too, mostly because it made you happy. She loved seeing you happy.

A sigh of relief passed through you when you saw her. It felt like something heavy had been lifted off of you and you were endlessly grateful.

"What are you doing in here? I was looking for you." You told her. She was standing near the window with her back to you. Her short hair still a little messy from being in bed. When you were close enough you reached up to run a hand through it which caused her to flinch away from your touched. Shocked, you took a step back, your lips parted in confusion.

"Ellie, look at me." You said to her softly. You gave her about half a second before your hands were on her shoulder, pulling her to turn and face you.

When you did your saw how wet her face was by the moonlight pouring in. Her cheeks were reddened and her eyes glossy and darkened like a pond at night. You could tell she'd cried, hard, even if she hadn't noticed it herself. Aside from that you noticed the distraught look in her eyes as she looked at you. More accurately, looked straight past you.

"Come sit with me, okay?" You said to her, grabbing a trembling hand to guide her over to the couch with you. She let out a shaky breath, almost getting a word out but failing miserably. You rubbed your thumb over her knuckles to let her know that it was okay. That she didn't have to say or do anything.

"Just breathe for me, I'm here, you're safe." You reminded her. Her eyebrows were still drawn together tightly as she looked down at her hands, they were still trembling quite a bit and just the sight of them seemed to upset her. All you could think to do was grab them in your own to keep them steady. She was warm to the touch.

You wondered what was on her mind then, what she remembered that pained her so much. You probably couldn't even begin to understand. You let her rest her head against your chest when she was able to. You brought a gentle hand to hold her there, stroking over her hair soothingly as she let her tears fall silently without trying to stop them. She had seen things that changed her, things she wouldn't tell you about because she didn't think you needed to know. You never pried, only listening when she needed you to. She had done things that she hated herself for and sometimes you feared that you'd never know why. You weren't scared of Ellie, not once had you ever been in all your years of knowing her, but you were starting to think that maybe she was scared of herself. She knew that the destruction that she was capable of left no room for forgiveness. Still, even with all that she dragged herself through, nothing compared to what she was forced to be witness to.

It was always worse each time she had to feel it all over again.

It made her whole body ache and grow numb all at the same time. A sick feeling formed in the pit of her stomach that stopped her from being able to breathe correctly. She'd cry out for someone to save her, for anyone to take those memories back so she could finally relax after all this time but no one could. Her fists would never unclench and the heavy metal chains of revenge were unmerciful and stronger than she could ever hope to be. Her redemption would never come as long as she was like this, no matter how much she laid awake at night hoping to move on from what she's done, she still lusted for the same brutality that broke her down into what she was now.

She listened to you hum to her and whisper sweet words. As she tried to slow her own breathing down, she followed the lead of yours. Calm and steady.

"You're okay, we're okay." You told her. She tried her hardest to believe you. Focusing on your voice and the delicate feeling of her hands on her, she melted down into something more manageable. In and out became less of a challenge and more of a natural bodily function. She slid her hands under your shirt, resting there just to feel the rise and fall. With her eyes closed there was finally darkness and nothing else.

୨♡୧

"I'm sorry I'm a mess." Ellie finally said when she felt like a person again. The sun was rising now. You almost didn't respond, you hadn't heard her speak actual words in hours. The bright feeling you got just from hearing her voice broke you out of whatever haze you were in.

"You're my mess." You said looking down at her fondly. Her eyes were so sincere as they gazed into yours. Like your souls were touching somehow. You couldn't imagine feeling like this with anyone else. Ellie was strong. The strongest person that you had ever known, but she was still human, fragile under her exterior. When it slipped you always wanted to be there for her.

"We're gonna be okay soon." You promised her, placing an innocent kiss to her freckled cheek. She sat impossibly close to you, your skin starting sweat against hers but you both couldn't care less. It felt right.

She wasn't sure yet how soon "soon" would be, and neither were you. All that she hoped was that she'd last that long with her rage sitting dormant.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams angst #the last of us fanfiction #tlou part 2 #tlou fanfiction #ellie tlou fanfic

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rrxnjun · 1 year

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IM SORRY FOR ANSWERING SO SUPER LATE LIFE GOT SO HECTIC ALL OF THE SUDDEN☹️

STILL WITH THE TAKE THE STAIRS FIC U GAVE ME LIFE WITH IT ACTUALLY IT WAS SO NICE TO JUST TURN MY BRAIN OFF AND READ IT SO I THANK U FOR IT!! and like actually need a jaemin in my life istg!! AND THE SAME GOES FOR THE TEASER OF UR NEW CHENLE FIC!!! IT ALREADY SEEMS SO FUN!! SO EXCITED ABOUT IT!!! 🥳🤭

I AGREE I WOULD ALSO RATHER JUST GOOGLE THE END OF THE SHOW!!

AHH I HOPE U FOUND SOME ARTISTS SINCE THEN!!! AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF UR DAY AND TRANSLATING FOR ME!! IM SURE U ARE VERY BUSY AS WELL SO THANK U SO MUCH I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!🥹🥹💝💓 and my god the lyrics are so☹️☹️☹️ it's just such a great song and now it even got so much better with understanding it!!!🥲

WELL IF IT DOES HAPPEN I WILL BE HERE XD parents smh /j (but like actually i understand them cuz traveling alone can be risky☹️) thank u i hope we will figure something out if it does happen🥹🥹

IM GLAD THAT U ARE DONE WITH ONE OF UR ESSAYS ALREADY!! AND I HOPE SINCE MY LAST ASK U STILL ARE DOING GOOD WITH UR SCHOOL WORK AND STUFF🥳

I LOVE UR POSTS THERE LMAO SO DONT BE SORRY and ofc i agree!!! zach was my fav from the why dont we boys🤭 OH MY I HAVENT HEARD ABOUT THE VAMPS IN AGES damn now i'm gonna go and listen to them😵‍💫(also saw that u turned into a treasure stan🫣 and ur take on jikjin!! it's such a great song glad u listened to it!!!)

(liebestraum anon💕 and sorry if i disappear again and for writing a lot i swear i will try and keep it short for once☹️)

AHH ITS TOTALLY OKAY!!!! cant say i didnt miss you but i ofc understand that u have your own life and responsibilities and such,, so dont worry about it🤍🤍 AND THANK U SM AGAIN!!!

DJDJSJ MY CHENLE FIC IS FUN BUT THEN IT GETS DEPRESSING REAL QUICK SO UHHH HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR SOME ANGST ;-; (also i started rewriting liebestraum. just thought i'd let you know<3)

im super glad u enjoyed my translation!! the lyrics are really screamable in my opinion,,, and i also hope i did them justice however i bet i did a better job than all of the ones i saw online :p its not the best artistic lyricism but i like it nonetheless DJSK sometimes u need simple songs to jam to.

travelling alone COULD be risky </3 me and my uni friends randomly travelled to vienna last week because it was warm out and we thought our seasonal depression was finally over and i love me some spontaneous decisions but also it was so anxiety inducing bc it was my first time going abroad with no supervision 😭😭 we had SO much fun but also the stress we were put through to find the bus platform back home ??? never again. was so bad that i broke my 5 month streak of not smoking bc i had to calm myself down somehow and then i was put through the stress of buying cigarettes in german when i caNT SPEAK GOOD GERMAN but 10/10 i would do it again and it made me more confident abt travelling with friends so i WILL drag my equally spontaneous uni friends to budapest as soon as i can. (please tell me they speak at least a little english there)

I AM ACTUALLY DONE W 4 ESSAYS NOW WHOOP WHOOP ‼‼‼ 4 MORE TO GO BUT IM DOING WELL NO STRESS SO FAR. HOPE YOUR SCHOOL IS GOING WELL TOO!

wait do u rlly bc i think im so annoying on there sometimes like girl chill😭😭 but ZACH WAS ALWAYS MY FAV TOO altho i did have a daniel phase. I havent listened to the vamps in ages either i should catch up or sum ;-;

omg dont mention the teumefication of bar i wont admit it to myself yet DHSKSK however jikjin is now my fav song and i fear seeing my 2023 spotify wrapped bc of it now. ive also been watching a concerning amount of treasure map and finding myself in love with jihoon but thats...not important rn.

ill be waiting for u liebestraum anon!!! dw abt sending long asks i always look forward to them🤍 hope your days are filled with joy mwah

#💌ask #liebestraum anon

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