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kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months

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Genuinely so obsessed with the ask you answered about reader being associated with König’s childhood bullies and coming back years later to try and make amends……. I need the angst, the drama, the nasty disgusting degrading sex, the absolute turmoil on both of their parts 😭 I am starving for this, the way you portray König especially there is exactly how I’ve always envisioned him in my mind!!!!!! And then with reader desperately trying to make him happy now out of guilt and her crush that’s grown 10x since she saw him in school, delusionally hoping and believing there’s a *relationship* between them and she can fix what she thinks she allowed to happen back then 10 years after the fact, while König is constantly fighting himself to not fall for reader despite his own buried crush resurfacing, and convincing himself he’s only using her to release stress and tension after assignment while simultaneously holding so much resentment for her and her sheer proximity to the people that tormented him back then, I am foaming at the mouth for the toxic dynamics to be found there !!!!!!!!! The old him begging to fulfill some childish need to have her, while this new monstrous version of himself only wants to watch her suffer to repent for how he had to suffer !!!!!!!!!!!!

I know right?! I’m obsessed with this too!

I’m so here for the toxic relationship dynamic (sue me), also me and @bucca2/@wordstome had a whole conversation about this yesterday because König would bend over backwards to self sabotage this shit.

(The following is mainly a summary from our brainstorm session from last night + I have bucca to thank for the precious meme at the end, it’s König in a nutshell with his high school crush lol)

First of all our girl is sooo in love. She was in love when they were young, but now? She’s a goner, König is out of this world. He's so handsome, so confident, the epitome of cool if there ever was one... and God, would you look at those muscles?

Now she can finally drool all over him but back then, what was she to do? As the shy one of the clique, she always tried to avoid attention; she could never have endured what König did. Perhaps it was cowardly of her, but she really was just scared. She could only dream about him from afar, and in her dreams, they would both change schools due to their parents moving or something... Ending up in the same area, finally getting to be together like it was a miracle, Deus ex Machina.

Her silly dreams never came true, but it looks like they're coming to fruition now. And this time, she's going to make everything better! Now that they're both grown up and free from their tormentors she can finally admit that she has feelings for him, feelings that are only sparked fast aflame when she sees the man he has become.

And König can’t stand it.

Where was she when he was odd and scrawny? Where was she when he cried himself to sleep over her?? Of course she wants him now that he’s big, independent and menacing, an odd nerd who discovered guns and gym... He thought she was better than this.

Deep inside, he’s still like this:

...but we just need to forget about it because König is NOT going to fold for this girl.

He’s not.

And the sex is so NASTY. Bordering on degrading, König wants to be a gentleman when it comes to ladies, but this one? This one he wants to fuck like he paid for her. She brings out the beast in him, and he finds himself asking her to get on her knees and blow his cock on some filthy cruise... Fucks her like he doesn’t love her, and she’s absolutely lovestruck, when did König become so mean? (God, that she loves him)

Trying not to fall in love with her (as if he ever fell out), König is so incredibly mad at this girl – is this what she wanted this whole time? A buff jerk who fucks her doggystyle until her knees bleed, who gives her the bare minimum, who barely even calls her when he’s away? (He has to physically restrain himself from doing that because of course he’d like to hear her pick up the phone with pure hope in her voice)

While changing his tactics and devising a plot to make her pay, König doesn’t even understand that he’s falling fast for her again while becoming now (seemingly) the best version of himself. It's only to dump her later, of course. He's just being nice so that she'll cry over losing him later. He brings her flowers, eats her out for hours, getting sick satisfaction from the way she cries about how it’s the best sex she’s ever had. He’s going to bring her to her knees, in more ways than just one... She’s going to remember him for the rest of his life when he rearranges her guts, ruining her for any other man.

König is becoming the thing he hates the most while she’s learned her lesson, now wearing her heart on her sleeve. No more shame and secrets, she’s not afraid to tell him how she feels! How she always had a small crush on him… And not even that small… How she loved to hear his presentations, no matter what silly subject they were about because he had actually done his research. How she could’ve swooned when his voice changed. After a short breaking period, he started to talk lower than anyone else in the class, earning himself more of that bullying because he sounded so manly at such a young age.

König is about to burst a blood vessel when hearing all this: she had a crush on him back then? What the actual fuck??

And then come the cuddles, the slow mornings, the coffee and toast, the showering together… She leaves her toothbrush in his place, and it stares at him accusingly from the side of the sink. She wears his t-shirts and looks absolutely gorgeous, mouth-watering and sweet in them. His sexy little minx, the one who didn’t get away…

Wait, what? No. No. No!

And when his high school sweetheart confesses her love for him for the first time, she's so open and vulnerable and sweet about it. Like she has been from the start, his sweet, sweet girl, exactly the kind of woman he always wanted to bring home to see his mom. König is about to lose his mind when she tugs at his shirt, almost cries when she says how much she loves him and couldn’t bear to live without him… She would cry herself to the grave if anything ever happened to him…

(König is like:)

#könig angst #könig fluff #mmm this is so nasty and delicious #they're practically soulmates #collaborating with other writers #könig x highschool sweetheart

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kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months

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Please expand more on the degrading sex. 👀

This is so funny because our darling sweetheart doesn’t understand that König is trying to degrade her. She just doesn’t get it, she doesn’t know how mad he is and why!

She just thinks he’s passionate and intense. What a man, honestly! Of course he’s a little freaky and rough; she never expected anything less from the odd weird silent boy at the back of the class. And now that they’re finally together, it would almost feel like an insult if he “only” made love to her...

So König can seize her hands and bring them over her head, he can keep her in place and fuck her so deep she’s seeing stars. She just looks like she’s more and more in love. It drives him crazy; so crazy that he fastens his grip and grits his teeth, growling “Is this what you want? Huh??” while she’s just like yes, yes, yes! Eyes shining like stars, she’s about to cum, and can’t even hear the silently spat words of “You fucking little…” when the orgasm hits. (Filthy girl!)

Another thing that König will do is some nasty semi-somno. He’ll wake her up, not with slow kisses and cute fondling, but by gripping her throat from behind, grunting and kissing and biting her to bruises, but what does she do? She only squirms from joy! How annoying!! She’s just smiling, gasping and moaning with her eyes closed as he slips inside to warm his cock. And she’s just warm and happy and wet! Does he have to roll over and fuck her rough again to show her her place?

König tries to show her off at work, and knows exactly what to do when she looks a little too impressed with him and his position at KorTac. Doesn’t even bother to look shocked when he vaguely refers to some things he’s had to do to get people talk – UN would be shook, but his dirty girl just looks at him like she’s about to swoon again from love. What an infuriating little thing, she’s not behaving at all like she’s supposed to…

With any other woman, he’d be gentle and discreet. Oh, he’d fuck his girl to his hearts content, but he’d be nice. He’d be on his knees for her, he’d be her knight in shining armor. That was his dream!

But this one is so… So... He doesn't even have the words for her.

She’s running her fingers over the handle of one of his knives even now, when they’re inside his office, looking at him naughty as if it was his cock she’s stroking. He just told her how he gutted someone with that blade... He's been nothing but stoic ever since she arrived here.

“Someone's coming,” he gruffs. “Under the table with you.”

His silly little sweetheart does what she’s told, only looking excited as she goes. Any other woman, he’d introduce around this place as his future wife and see if she'd get flustered... Any other woman, he’d propose before the month is through if she did. But this one, he orders under his desk, unzips his pants and pulls out his cock, waving it under the table while talking to his subordinates, in cue for her to be a nice, obedient girl and take it in her mouth. That’s what she’s here for, after all... To suck his cock and make his work day a little better. Right?

But the stupidest thing is that he doesn’t feel like winning when her eager lips wrap around his tip. He doesn’t feel like he got the fat end of the stick because she’s clearly enjoying it. Sucking his cock at work like a dirty little–

Fuck, he’s about to explode, in every meaning of the word. And while he’s about to shoot a load during the short briefing, like the pathetic wanker he always was, the thing that really grips him the most is shame.

Is this what he has become? A degrader and defiler of women? He was supposed to treat them like angels, the purest thing on earth!

And she’s not even degraded, his filthy little angel, emerging from under the desk with shining eyes and a loving stare. She swallowed it all like a good girl, and proceeds to follow him around when he tucks himself back into his camos and grunts that he has work to do. Hugs him from behind with her weak little hands, presses her cheek against his back, and sighs from happiness. Tells him that she loves him so much.

He wonders if the meeting rooms are insulated enough for him to go and have a good old roar of despair.

#könig x highschool sweetheart #könig smut #könig x you #just ughhh #get loved you idiot #he's in hell!!

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kneelingshadowsalome · 2 months

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literally can't stop thing about highschoolsweetheart!au where darling is 24/7 clinging onto a slightly annoyed/frustrated könig's arm, autistically chatting his ear off about random things like cute cat videos that she saw, dinosaurs or art, gushing about how much she loves him, how utterly handsome he's looking and that they're absolutely meant to be!! 🥺 always nuzzling him and pressing sweet kisses to his face.

until... maybe he snaps and shuts her up :// not in a nice way. maybe i'm projecting here, but i've been silenced before and it did nasty things to me. (bit of advice for unknowing peeps, don't make autistic people stop rambling, if you can help it. let them down gently if you must 💌)

back to our sheep... she suddenly shuts in. doesn't chat as much as before, slowly sticking to only utilitarian stuff. avoids his gaze oftenly, gradually starting to keep her distance, stops initiating affectionate things. she still absolutely adores him, but she's hurt, heart constricting in her chest. thinks she's doing him a service by listening to his 'request' at shutting the hell up, thinking she's making him happier. she's still itching to babble, making an active effort at stoping herself from going back to her rambling habits.

how would könig feel? react?

imagine what would it be like, if after some time of this distance, at a social gathering or something, he sees a man approaching her. another MAN!! how is this possible?? and he's... he's asking her about things? looking interested in her talk, eyeing her up and down??

would you do me the honour of tormenting this poor man for me? :33

Her ramblings were cute at first, then they started to go in one ear and out the other. König has a budding tinnitus from work and only wants to rest, but she skitters to him like a lovesick cat, climbs into his lap, and starts to talk his ear off about attachment styles and some pop psychology.

The enthusiasm in her eyes is what bothers him the most – he’s hit with envy, bright hot and red, because he has no time for intellectual interests these days. There's nothing but gun oil and gym to keep him busy. He was supposed to become either a philosopher or a fighter, but since they said philosophers can’t get pussy, he chose the other option (and still got little to no pussy), sad wanker as he was back then.

He either doesn’t know what the hell she is talking about or, he would want to discuss with her about the subjects she’s into, so much in fact that it would soon become an autistic competition of its own. But the deeply ingrained memory of being called a scrawny nerd is keeping his mouth shut even now, when he’s approaching his mid-thirties.

So he tells her she should read an actual book about the subject and stop filling her head with nonsense layman theories.

It hurts; it fucking burns, the mute, helpless stare she shoots at him. She scoots away, sorely upset, and won’t come back to him before the evening fall.

There's no cute noises and kisses peppered all over his face, no dangling from his neck and prattling away about the differences between C. S. Lewis and Tolkien; no videos where a cat tries to fish the last pringles with its paw or memes that remind her of him. There's just a broken girl and a knife in his heart, but he’s too ashamed and proud to apologize.

And so she comes back to him when he won't go to her, the deep yearning always overthrowing her pride. It feeds his self loath by gallons: she's better than him, always has been.

She hugs his middle when they lie down to sleep, forehead pressed against his upper back. She’s too small to reach the back of his neck, but she won’t wriggle upwards like an adorable little worm to place a kiss there like she used to. Just falls asleep with a sigh, holding him tight.

His sleep arrives only after hours have passed, and the knife inside his heart has finally done its duty and euthanized the whole organ.

They never talk about it: but she prattles far less nonsense to him now. He nearly breaks the silence one day and asks her about the Myers Pigs test or whatever it was called, see if she would crack open from her shell and laugh. He could coax her to tell him what her newest interest is nowadays, what makes her eyes bright and shiny when he’s away. But he’s too fucking ashamed, too goddamm proud to tell her that she’s annoyingly cute when she talks so much and that he fucking loves her for that. That she’s the silliest girl he’s ever met and if he had a hat, he would take it off every time she wanted to share another monologue.

If he had the balls, he would ask if she had all this madness inside her when they were kids but never had the courage to spill it out… If he's the only person she has allowed to see this side of her without fear.

...

He returns to the party after having a smoke – a bad habit everytime he knows he's about to down a few beers – only to see she’s engaged in a heated conversation with some other guy.

Or, the guy is asking questions, while his girl is about to burst out of her dress from the eagerness to tell him everything about some new hyperfixation of hers. Something she hasn’t really shared with him; not anymore...

The knife is still in his heart, it seems, because it twists. Violently.

He looks for a weapon to defend himself: an empty beer bottle, a knife on the table, an untended umbrella by the door; his fists, ungloved. It’s just a routine check, a simple habit that was hammered in his system years ago, and of course this is not the time or the place for violence. He just… fantasizes about stabbing that guy in the liver with some blunt cutlery, pounding his ribs to pieces until his knuckles bleed with jealousy. He even fantasizes her screams when she sees what kind of a man he really is: a weak wanker who turned into a pitiful beast of a man.

These flashes take only a second or two, then he squares his shoulders and goes to get his girl back.

“How about we dance,” he offers his hand to her, palm up like the other guy was made of air – or not even that.

Her eyes light up with surprise, pure, undiluted hope, her interest in her chat companion now completely gone.

“You... You want to dance?”

His lips compress into a thin line, his nostrils flaring from the need to either claim her right on this floor or turn and beat the competing dick beside him into a pulp.

Then her hand finds his, her soft little smile pulls him back, her eyes now shining to him and only him.

It’s a slow one, the song, and he only notices it when she lifts her hands and cups the back of his neck. Tingles shoot down his spine and send a curious little twitch down his dick – even his testes pull up a notch. They’ve fucked a thousand times, and still, she has this effect on him... All she needs to do is smile and touch his neck, and his body answers; he’s hers.

“Does this mean you like me…?” She asks with a playful smile when his hands come to naturally claim her waist.

“...What?”

“You saw me with that guy and came to whisk me away.”

He tries to avoid her stare, fakes to steal a glimpse at the other pairs dancing, but it’s challenging when she looks at him like… like that.

“He was drooling all over you back there,” he mutters.

“...Oh? So you came to save me?”

“You have difficulty saying no.”

She's relaxed, while he's stiff, the adrenaline leaving him slowly and with a rising boner. It doesn't help that she's drawing little circles on his skin, right there where it tickles and sends more pulls down his cock.

He tries to breathe deep and slow, but it doesn’t really work much. There are times when he gets a hard-on from her playing with his hair or brushing a set of fingertips across his nipple, and then there are times when he really wishes she wouldn’t do shit like this. Not when they’re at a party and he almost had a temper tantrum in front of everyone.

“König… You never dance,” she says with a weighted stare. He answers it with a heavy glare of his own, eyes that should tell her enough about his true feelings for her.

There’s a thin line between love and hate, but never has he felt this undeniable truth as acutely as he has with her...

“If you don’t stop with the tickling I’m going to have to take you upstairs for a fuck.”

Her tiny little fingers stop immediately, but her eyes shine brighter than ever before. From shock, love, or awe, who knows. Then she picks up that annoying habit again, a bit too keenly to convey any kind of actual fear.

“You’re begging for it, aren’t you...?” He comments with genuine contempt.

“...Yes?” She answers with a breath of a smile, pure love in her stare.

He grunts as if tired, then scoops her up, right there on the dance floor and takes her upstairs when everyone can see.

“You like me. Admit it,” she babbles when he carries her inside some guest bedroom and kicks the door shut, with her snug and smiling in his arms.

“Yes, yes. You can tell me all about everything when I’m done with you.”

“All about everything?” She giggles as he throws her on the bed and starts to take off his shirt. Her eyes shoot to his pecs, then to his fingers when he unzips his pants. There's no lie, no deceit in that stare, just adoration and want.

“First you have to be quiet. Think you can manage that?”

She opens her pink little mouth, then shuts it, starts to nod like a broken doll.

When he eventually slides in, the poor doll whimpers, just like he thought.

"Hush," he gruffs, but doesn't cover her mouth.

He can have a little taste, a sip, a treat... Because the knife in his heart stops rattling only when he makes love to her – he does that often, even if he calls it 'fucking' in his mind.

#könig x highschool sweetheart #könig angst

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kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months

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Will Konig eventually fall in love with his highschool sweetheart or will he dump her in his misplaced desire for revenge (and end up deeply regretting it?). I love this scenario so much. 💗

Yes 🥺

I mean he never stopped loving her. König loves her so much he can’t take it, she was always the one for him even if he lost faith in such things long ago. He just gets entangled with his revenge fantasies, the years lost, the resentment and hurt, so much so that he plays with the idea of finally dumping her on their 1st anniversary, thinking there’s somehow a way to get her out from under his skin after this ultimate retribution. (König you fool)

The thing is… She proposes to him that day.

They have their anniversary, and he’s about to dump her, and she PROPOSES.

So very sweet and shy, suddenly she smiles, and says that maybe they should get married… No, she’s not kidding...

She knows women don’t usually do this, but she just can’t take it anymore. She loves him. They’re made for each other, anyone can see that! She will always be here for him if he needs her. What does he think? Oh god, this was probably a mistake… She knows it’s a little too fast... Or is it? She’d be the happiest woman on earth if he said yes!

That’s when König finally crumbles and sees the man he has become, but he's so far in it now, he has no heart or guts to tell her what he’s done, what his plan was. He’s just like Get away from me, I’m an evil man and you need to leave while you still can, you deserve better.

And she just walks to him, face full of joy, crushes his head between her tits and says that she likes it when he's a bit bad :) That in truth he’s a bit silly too, he always had higher morals than anyone else and that if anything he’s the best man she has ever known. She won’t leave him, no way! If he needs some time with this, she’ll wait… She already waited for him all these years. She’ll always wait for him ❤️

#könig x highschool sweetheart #könig angst #könig fluff #these silly kids #more screaming in the woods #one of these days she'll catch him trying to muffle his roar with a pillow

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kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months

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Question for the previous on König and highschool sweetheart ask— Would König consider trying to treat her more gently on a round 2 to make up for her first time? Or he’d just act like it’s not a big deal and think that she can take it?

Unrelated one— If his sweetheart is ever caught being upset or sobbing with full on tears over something like work or a crappy coworker, would König ever try to comfort her in his own way or just leave her be?

Oh for sure he’d be more gentle. I think his remorse would override even the silly need to be some ultimate gentleman when it comes to virgins.

König is a little crazy with these revenge fantasies but at the same time, he can’t stand to see his sweetheart hurt. He wants to make her yearn for him (bro what do you think she has done for the past +10 years??) but he would never abuse her, cheat or anything like that. The thing is he doesn’t quite know what to do with her. He can’t live with her, and he can’t live without her!

Highschool sweetheart actually wanting him to be rough is so confusing to him. She seems to love it that he plays this confident distant jerk, and König can’t stand it, appears she never loved him when he was kind, shy and weird?? At the same time she's star-eyed on the 2nd round because “oh you’re making love to me now? how cute!” and it's making König’s brain hurt – all he ever wanted was to treat her right! Now it’s too late! And besides what does this girl even want?! And how can he (not) give it to her? He needs to make her pay! Not today... But some day. He will. Yes…

Her crying and sobbing would instantly make his chest hurt, and he knows what it means – of course he fucking loves her still because he’s cursed or something – and the need to run to console her is greater than the goddamn gravity but he takes a feeew extra seconds before strolling to ask if everything’s alright. Fights the urge to pull her into his lap, but she climbs there herself, sobbing and sniffling, and his heart just hurts hurts hurts until he can’t take it anymore, he has to caress and console her. Now then, who was mean to you…? :|

(He’s going to kill whoever made her cry… And then he’s going to come back and make her pay. Some day! Not today, because she’s crying. But some day.)

#könig x highschool sweetheart #könig angst #könig fluff #fluffy angst

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kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months

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I was thinking about how the only other AU that could rival the highschool sweetheart in terms of König tortureTM is the virgin reader AU which naturally led me to thinking…can we combine the two? 👀👀👀

She could either tell him upfront or he only finds out after wildly taking her from the back and making her cum, and then notices small traces of blood, he nervously asks if she’s on her period (he wanted to hurt her yes but not like THIS) and she shyly looks up at him and tells him it was her first time and how incredible it felt

and he’s just standing there slack jawed because he missed it?? The look in her eyes as he took her virginity? Not to mention he did non of the things he promised he would do if a sweet girl offered her “flower” to him, no hand holding, no soft gentle kisses or going down on her for an hour to make sure she’s nice and relaxed for him or telling her how wonderful she was. Just thrusting in like a mad horny dog!? Did she do it on purpose?!

Lmao she’s laying there wish flushed cheeks and a content smile and he’s staring at the ceiling with a thousand yard stare

Ooooh my goodness anon your brain… I’M SHOOK ❤️

Imagine König’s horror when she shyly confesses that she has saved herself for him. That she never found anyone worthy of her flower because she always thought it would be him who takes it from her.

It’s just this silly daydream she had... She knows it’s a bit stupid, but to her, it was always him and no one else. She dreamed about how good it would be with him, how he would make her cum on her first time, how in love they would be… But then he went away, and no one ever compared. It just somehow didn’t feel right. Luckily she had the courage to contact him and now they’re here, who knew! Her dreams finally came true!

They lay side by side, König stiff as a plank as she slips her hand in his, traces of her “flower” still on his cock, she giggles and gives him a kiss on the cheek – was it that good for him too? He looks like he got hit by a rock! Oh, and is it true that men fall asleep right afterwards…? Wouldn’t be a surprise after that… He sounded like a gorilla in heat! *more giggling*

#König’s insides are full of ice as he’s trying to decode whether this CRUEL WOMAN indeed did it on purpose #or if he’s the worst scoundrel on earth for taking his sweetheart on her knees like a goddamn animal #making her bleed in the process #he could never hurt her but god does he sometimes want to strangle this woman #könig x highschool sweetheart #his remorse gets suicidal proportions #and what’s even worse he missed the hand holding #he was supposed to hold her hand during the first thrust!!!1 #*dude explodes*

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kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months

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trying to play big buff disinterested jock with his sweetheart is all fun and games until his jealousy sets in 👀

Oh God no (this scenario is obvs before the anniversary thing and König finally coming to his senses somewhat):

She holds a bday party and König is like yes, some big event that reminds him how it feels like to be an outsider, great… Maybe he’ll just drink beer in the kitchen while she socializes with her girlfriends, puts on his best act of a cool distant guy who has a dangerous job, it would both please and bother him if she wanted to show him off. Anyways, it’ll take a few hours before he has her all to himself again, he’ll just have to suffer this through…

But then these guys start pouring in. König is like wtf? She has male friends?!

They are as decent and charming as can be, but it doesn’t matter, König will project all his shit on them. For him, the picture is as clear as a day. She’s still the angel, the diamond thrown among the trash, laughing while a bunch of dogs wag their tails around her... These men only want a piece of her; anyone can see they’re just trying to play the long game to get her. Waiting until shit hits the fan so that they can offer their shoulders and dicks for her to cry on… Asking how she is just to appear interested, pfft, he can see right through their act.

If König still had his beer in hand it would explode to bits. He’s again demoted to the guy who’s standing in the corner while the life of the party is giggling and socializing sweetly with everyone. And it wouldn’t bother him if it weren’t for her fans. He didn’t even know she had so many guy “friends”... And of course she has, the cute little thing she is. Vultures, all of them, and she either plays with their hearts willingly or then she's even more naive than he thought.

When all the guests have left, he tries to make love to her (=claim her and show her who she belongs to, König has to mark her with his cum or otherwise he’ll go mad) but she just laughs again and says she’s tired and too tipsy for sex. Maybe tomorrow morning, you big brute! So there’s nothing he can do except hold her while having the most painful boner of his life, thinking if she's keeping some of those guys as viable options to fill his place if he ever decided to leave...

#könig x highschool sweetheart #könig x you #possessive könig #jealous könig

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kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months

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Idea I've had for highschool sweetheart to make könih further rot in guilt because it's silly and amusing that I simply had to share <3

In cliques of the nature of his bullies there are always the internal dynamics people outside don't see. Like how one person is never felt true compliments, only back handed ones if not just straight up insults. Fed lies about how no one else would ever be friends with them, the punching bag of within the clique to keep the glue of the group strong and firm. Naturally it would have been the shyest and most bookish person within the group. But you've known these people your entire life they didn't always act like this they used to be kind and good. (right? they, they were kind once right?) so day dreams become an escape because how could anyone be friends with you? How could anyone tolerate you? Especially after you were around the clique, how could you ever approach the quiet boy who you knew they picked on. He must hate you. You longed to be friends (don't delude yourself you didn't wish to be friends you wished to be lovers but start small right). How could you ever approach him. And then graduation comes and you're abandoned. You can heal and begin to find your personhood. You can pick the shattered pieces of your confidence up off the floor and glue your life back together. It takes years but eventually you gather up the courage to reach out to the boy after he misses the reunion. You want to apologize for your passivity at least. You must after all. (You were children and both victims in your own right but how could this ever be spoken of? You must play the role of the bystander because who would ever believe otherwise? You may have healed but there are still cracks of course.) and much later maybe he learns all this, maybe he reads it in a journal or a letter addressed to him, maybe you finally get the courage to tell him. And the guilt and rot grows like fungus over his heart, eating his anger alive and churning out something like grief in return. Not that you'd noticed the anger, you just saw the second chance, of course he would be wary of you, of course he would have changed over the decade, but a decade of growth was only done on the foundation of the boy you loved before. How could you not love the man he's become now?

tee hee I'm going insane I hope you enjoy my little ramble

Yes yes yes the delicious reveal of how it was for her, that she wasn’t having a happy time in the clique, that she, too, was suffering! ❤️‍🩹

In my opinion König would eventually come to his senses. If we’re treating this scenario with actual seriousness, he would eventually see that what he’s doing is useless and stupid and hurtful and unjust to both of them. I mean he’s clinically insane, he’s nasty and troubled and traumatized and works for a fucking PMC and tortures people but... he’s not rotten to the core. König is like a stray dog that bites if it feels like it’s about to get cornered and beaten again, and that’s his viewpoint with high school sweetheart actually. It may sound silly and misplaced but he’s just too triggered to see that he’s about to do a royal fuck-up with her.

And the unbearable shame when he realizes? When he faces the thing he has become? It’s simply too much to bear, he has worked so hard on himself & to put that shit behind him, he’s built confidence from scratch, he’s built actual, physical muscle just to feel better about himself, he probably joined the military because it was his middle finger to the world. Yes, he had aspirations and actual passions concerning the sniper dream but he’s also driven by this need to prove a shitload of people wrong.

And in walks this babe who reminds him of a time when he was nothing. Absolutely nothing. How do you love that? Because ultimately, it means you have to love yourself and who you were before you became the incredible Austrian Hulk. At the core of it is a 6 feet deep insecurity because König doesn’t feel he’s worthy of her at all.

I think the only thing that would cleanse his heart from pain is the revelation that she suffered too. As sad as it is, that’s what makes his heart crack open because then he gets to play the savior. But then comes the “Do you still love me even if I almost turned into the monster I always battled against” part… Because König would pay her authenticity "generously" by revealing the bully he almost became. And I think that’s when high school sweetheart really needs to ask herself if she’s up for this kind of shit, if she’s actually ready to love this man who isn’t as cool and tough as she thought he was, who is deeply flawed and resentful and childish and cruel.

Part of her probably knows that already and even loves his flaws, but loving König is like loving that stray dog. He’s gonna bring fleas and dried-up mud into your house eventually. Especially if you feed him and give him a scratch… Put a nice, cosy bed for him by the fire... Tell him he's cute when he whines next to your bed... Teach him it’s ok to prefer to sleep with you instead :/

#he's a problem/rescue dog #character study stuff #könig x highschool sweetheart

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