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notallwonder · 1 year

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Okeydoke. CM 16x09 "Memento Mori". What delights and disappointments do you have in store for me...

Spoilers etc etc etc under the cut.

I've been rewatching season 3. It feels like such a different show. I think the impact of the shake up of producers and cast that happened in season 5/6 cannot be overestimated. And of course with this new season they've actively tried to make it a different iteration. But yeah...the creative vision or whatever shifted a lot over its original run.

Anyway.....back to the matter at hand...

oh no...Rossi flashback. :/ oh buddy. ngl hearing Rossi break up like that makes me very sad.

(Emily you look fabulous in your funeral dress)

I do appreciate the time they've given to Rossi & Emily's relationship

also it just makes me uncomfy that Rossi's doing his canvassing all alone. Even the Mormons don't do that.

OH SHIT is going down!

Emily is your blazer sparkly? no no it's like some kinda tufted wool pattern. (Cute)

JJ your hair looks great

Tara you must be right, "it's hard to be a new dad and a psychopath at the same time" (also you look great bb)

OH SNAP he walked right in??!! with a lil smirk??!!

Okay okay okay TARA / REBECCA FLASHBACK. Aw, Tara that look on your gorgeous face. 🥰 I am not intimately familiar with Al-Anon but I can see how Rebecca's history might influence her tendency to go scorched earth/go to extremes in her reactions.

I wish the flashbacks were in color though. The black & white photography is pretty I suppose, but I wanna see their beautiful faces in full color.

Urgency!! Rebecca coming thru!! (in her fire burgundy suit btw)

this Sacramento offer is all she's got?? I know she's under review, whatever that entails, and presumably thus no longer in line for an associate atty general job (is that actually a thing??) but she's... still actively working in the DOJ in Washington DC hence why she's even plausibly (lol) in this room. Why would this Sacramento job be the only option left to her? This does not make sense.

Tara looks so beautiful, GOD. but also too sad.

Ugh back to this bitch (Elias)

This little tete-a-tete w/ Rossi is...intruiging. Ooh twist that knife sir.

LOL the very subtle sound cue/background music they put on Rossi's grin after he says "Almost." God that was perfect. Like the cartoon sparkle on a smile. Like the Schitt's Creek chime.

Wow this guy has plans on plans on cojones. I like him. He's bad news.

Side note: it annoys me that they keep calling Sicarius the "most prolific" killer they've ever seen. Didn't they estimate Frank's body count in the 80s or 90s?

Oh....our favorite asshole Tyler Green. Oh and our other favorite ah Will - here in an official non-husband capacity. Neato.

The question remains....is Tyler Green a bad guy? He's clearly taking PG for a ride, but what that fully means I don't know.

OOooooh big drama betw Tyler & Luke. That stare down!

Does PG see it now? She might.

F U C K. Suspicions (Apparently!) confirmed ! !

Rossi you in danger girl.

this could still be a vigilante type situation...but they're leaning hard on making Green seem sus and at the very least he's an uncontrolled quantity. He's gonna get in the way.

ok another flashback. this one im categorizing as dumb bc it's about Tyler. Honestly I'd rather have an Emily flashback. Even if it's just her like...loading her dishwasher. God, what I wouldn't give.

cute baby tho. Tyler has baby-related ptsd

This angst filled grocery shopping RULES!!!!! Rolling Stones babey!!!

Rossi, stalking people while they are grocery shopping is not nice. I get it, you have a job to do blah blah. But coming up on ladies in the cereal aisle is just annoying as hell.

OH MY GAWD. Rossi talking serial killer with the wife in the CEREAL AISLE?!?!?!!!!! only god above and people I'll never speak to know if this was by design but I am LOSING it over this stupid visual pun.

Sydney! You left your toilet paper! Don't you remember how hard it was to get toilet paper just a few short years ago?!

LMAO Rossi you got played buddy.

It does feel odd given recent episodes that Bailey isn't in the middle of this fray, but I'm so not mad he's not there.

Emily's "yes ma'am" reminds me of her very flat "ma'am" to Strauss in "100". Very different (this one contains no venom), but I just have not been able to get Strauss out of my head while watching Prentiss this season.

ZOMG LUKE & PENELOPE. Pen, why are you oversharing with him???!!!! Oh honey. You really think he's just your friend. Can't talk to Prentiss bc you already fucked that up, can't talk to JJ bc JJ will call you out on your shit, can't talk to Tara bc she's in her own world of hurt... you friend zoned Luke and are about to find Out!

Oh GOd PG! Like... I know you sometimes lack a filter but c'mon. 😬

FUCK Rossi WHAT are you DOING. This man who has been marinating in grief for years is about to lose it all

The only one who we know knows where he is is Tyler Green (awful sentence so sorry)

I'm getting tense

The Two Devolvers

AAAGH I just LOVE when an intense moment goes straight to psoriasis drug commercials!!! Fuck!

Is the Dan & Sheila thing a reference to a real podcast of some sort? Who are Dan and Sheila.

I do like when the show seems to acknowledge the shortcomings of profiling as an endeavor

Rossi rounding out the Brown Jacket Brigade

Oh. Emily.

Oh. GARCIA. Chickens....roosting....etc

i am just dying, Dying for Emily to completely Lose Her Shit. i doubt she will get the opportunity. But I want it.

JJ getting the lay of the land watching Emily's reaction. Tara getting the lay of the land watching Penelope.

I want Rossi to pee in the car, and then say "it's just a rental".

A favor from DC Metro? For when they are in the field in SEATTLE? I know this is just to get Will into the mix but it's annoying.

Garcia! Um, the implication that you think avoidant-attachment style folks are like...better at or predisposed to lying? Fucked up. I think you have not been getting an A+ in therapy (thing that's normal to want, etc...). All this "Penelope has thrived during the pando / been getting so great at self care etc" seems to be revealing itself as a front of sorts. Kinda feels like a third, smaller, devolution.

The Will stans of the world will rejoice - he's on the jet

For the record, I think Emily made a calculated risk/decision to send PG into the field with the rest. Perhaps thinking she would be uniquely situated to convince/keep Tyler out of the way. Meta-wise, it was necessary to then place JJ/Will and Luke/Garcia in the same frame on the jet. I'm sure that was no accident.

Ugh. Do we think Rossi's out? Is he gonna be dead when this is all said and done? I hope not. He's still got lots of grandparenting to do. But he really should fucken retire.

OOOOHHHHH. THE GARVEZ DATE. Again...I wish they gave us these flashbacks in color.

Oh, handholding!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 it's not the specific handholding I wished for, but it's the handholding I absolutely needed!!!!!!

Luke, my man. I love ya. I feel for ya. God. I'm sorry things went this way. Honestly, PG, if you have trouble conversing in a non-dunking way with someone you consider a friend...like maybe I'm being judgmental here but that sounds like a you problem that you might want to figure out babe.

Thinking about Luke compared with Derek. Derek would have pushed back on a statement like that from PG. Luke, bless him, does not push back because he's got more at stake emotionally / is wounded by it. But a statement like that from PG needs pushback, especially if you're trying to redefine the relationship.

I feel so bad for Emily. She has to keep it together but you know she's furious and deeply worried about her kidnapped work wife

Now we've come back around to Rossi's flashback pain. He didn't want to watch his wife be closed up underground. I see.

Zomg. I wonder if they are gonna cliffhanger the season with Rossi still trapped underground.

AAAAAAAAAAAH

I quite enjoyed this episode. I liked the directing, though I would have preferred the flashbacks in color. There were some really nice shots in there. A lot of backstory snippets. I wanna know more about Tara. What prompted her to go to Al-Anon, years after her marriage broke up? Does that have anything to do with the toning down/disappearance of her swagger? As for Garvez - I don't feel the same level of upset over how this has played out, but I think we're headed toward a reveal of Luke's deeper feelings and some kind of reckoning. And while it's not necessarily *fun* to watch Garcia make these choices, I am not convinced this was a completely bad decision storytelling-wise. I know, I'm in the minority there. Let her fuck up! Let her be unlikable, selfish, blind. I guess what would disappoint me the most is if there's no turn in this story, no real consequences or accountability. We'll see.

Favorite scene hands down was the angsty grocery shopping. What can I say, it gave me life.

#cm spoilers #cme spoilers #criminal minds spoilers #criminal minds evolution spoilers #criminal minds #criminal minds evolution

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cyberaxolotl · 3 years

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Tricks Over Treats

two versions woo hee

and then the writing piece to go along with it

“An Alternate Desire”

For an all popular DJ, he had a lot more to know about him than what was known to the public, some of which stayed shrouded in mystery to even his boyfriend and closest friends. One of the things he did make very clear to anyone who saw him around that time of year was that he was a HUGE fan of Halloween. Spooky jack-o-lanterns, sweets, costumes, he still thoroughly enjoyed it, even as an adult. He loved remixing classic Halloween tunes to add a more techno vibe to them, and that wasn’t going to change any time soon. And finally, he loved the scares; he was willing to be a bit sick around that time of year with his jokes, as anything scary was widely accepted and usually expected.

Especially not now, when there’s a Halloween party for all the musicians in Rhythm Heaven to attend, as well as any plus 1’s they might wish to have with them. Hosted by the rap men (obviously) and having as many different types of music as you could think of playing one after the other in the main hall, it was going to be a great party to have a good laugh. And for everyone to see any friends they had made since the Battle Of The Bands.

DJ Yellow, of course, had Blue with him. While his boyfriend wasn’t the biggest fan of that scary time of year, he still enjoyed talking to some of the others and seeing them all happy.

“I need to put my costume on in the car, but I’ll be inside in just a moment!” DJ Yellow said, nudging his partner while they were in the entrance hall.

“…Why didn’t you just put it on while we were at the apartment?” Blue asked, turning around. His costume itself was rather plain, he was just dressed as a vampire with a little bit of fake blood on his chin, but he was perfectly happy with that. It was one of the few times of year when he’d go out with his dreadlocks down, too.

“Cause! I wanted it to be a surprise for you too!” Deej gave a quick finger gun, before slipping out the door. His boyfriend sighed, feeling only mildly inconvenienced that he’d need to be alone at a party for a few minutes, and moreover very anxious. He never was one for direct social interaction.

As he walked into the main hall, he was immediately addressed. “Heeey, Blue!” A happy sounding, higher pitched voice called out to him, and he immediately knew who it was. “Where’s Yellow?” B.B. Rocker asked him, standing shorter than him and only around his chest height.

“Yellow’s in the car putting his costume on. Chances are, he just forgot to put it on at home.” He replied, looking down at his friend. They wore a costume that was… on the stranger side, but not out of character for them. It was an orange-white tabby cat suit with a denim dress put on over it, a pair of matching cat ears sitting in their ginger hair. They looked rather cute, if Blue’s bisexual ass could say so himself.

“Ah, so did J.J. He’s getting changed in the bathroom.” They turned away, looking down another hallway in the back of that room.

Blue sighed. “Oh boy…”

“What?”

“J.J.’s here, Yellow’s gonna be here soon. Chances are sometime in the night that is not going to end well.” He folded his arms, glancing away. There were certainly a lot of people there, like MC Adore and her love posse all in matching costumes, the Pop Singer Yui in a cutesy zombie outfit, and apparently even the rap women had managed to slip in, as Rosebud and Sapphie were happily talking to a trio of ghosts. What stood out to him, though, was the fact that the rap men were nowhere to be seen. If they were hosting that gig, they should’ve either been in the entrance hall greeting people, or in the main hall talking.

“Oh, you’re right. Guess we’ll just have to hope they don’t directly cross paths and say something shitty to each other, huh?” B.B. sighed as well, holding the back of their neck.

“You know it’s more likely for J.J. to say something shitty than for Yellow to. Yellow’s not an asshole, he’s just a…” Blue went quiet as he lost his words.

“…A snarky asshole?”

“That.” He motioned in confirmation to them. He looked back over at the rap women, noticing that the Big Rock Finish ghosts were leaving. “I’m gonna go ask the rap women where their brothers are, if Yellow comes in, tell him I’ll be right back.”

“Alrighty!” With that, he walked away, leaving B.B. by the entrance.

As he got closer to the snack table, he was able to tell what Rosebud and Sapphie were wearing as costumes. They were matching, as expected from the two of them, and had gone for a western theme. Rosebud was dressed as a saloon dancer, a crimson skirt falling to the back of her ankles and a corset tied around her waist. It also seemed that she had taken the opportunity to wear something only a bit more revealing than her usual outfits. Sapphie was dressed as a cowgirl, hiding her eyes in the shadow of a ten gallon hat, and wearing open bottom pants. The two certainly matched, but had their own ways of doing it, the mutual color palette between their costumes tying it together.

“Excuse me, girls?” He asked, and the two turned over to face him.

“Oh, hi Blue.” Sapphie humbly waved at him, smiling. “Do you need something?”

“I don’t, but I want to ask- where are your brothers?” The two ladies' expressions tensed.

“Jasper and Goldie? Uh…” Rosebud’s eyebrows furrowed. “…I don’t know, actually. Sapphire?” She looked up at her girlfriend.

The taller woman shrugged. “I haven’t seen either of them since they left the recording studio, but they’re probably somewhere around here. Sorry, Blue.”

“Hm.” Blue looked skeptical, glancing behind him. “Alright then. I need to go back to B.B., you two have fun.” He turned around, his dreadlocks nearly whipping him in the face.

“Bye-bye!” Rosebud said as he walked away.

When he got back over to his rock student friend, they looked confused. “Is something wrong, B.B?” He asked, and they turned to him.

“No, no, nothing. Just… JJ is taking an awful long while to put his costume on. He went in just before you arrived.” They put a hand behind their head, “We’re supposed to be a cat and a dog, so he might be struggling with the suit or something.”

“Now that you mention it, if Yellow is taking this long to put it on, then he really should’ve put it on at the apartment-“

As if on cue, the door opened, and DJ Yellow slid in overdramatically. Since nobody noticed him except BB and Blue, he got up in one quick motion, turning over to them. “Hey guys!” He said happily, walking over. His costume was made of… really dark colors, something completely out of character for him. It was all black with a dark red cape that made his neck completely covered, looking completely out of place while paired with his unaltered hair and headphones. For reasons neither of them could decipher, he also carried a lit jack-o-lantern.

“Hey Yellow..?” BB raised an eyebrow, giving a short wave.

“…” Blue spent several seconds trying to decipher what his lover was wearing, before sighing. “Yellow, what are you supposed to be?”

The DJ walked over and leaned against his taller counterpart’s arm as though he was trying to lean against his shoulder but was just too short to do so. “A surprise.”

“That’s what you said when you were putting ON the costume.” The sarcastic remark made Yellow chuckle.

“Yes, but what I’m gonna do in this costume is also a surprise.”

“Just tell us what the costume is, Deej!” The rockstar leaned in, and mysterious refusal after cryptic refusal soon descended into laughter and casual conversation. It was rare for Yellow to oblige to interact with BB, but Blue was glad that they could get along on a night like that.

But… he still couldn’t downplay it.

Something was wrong.

Or off.

Yellow didn’t sound like himself, nor did his mouth follow his words. His mouth had a delay compared to his words, as though his head and his voice box were working as two separate parts rather than as the same body. His voice sounded less like his smug and casual self was talking and more like some kind of modulation, as though a robot with his voice was reading from a script and trying to sound like a person.

Blue chalked it up to one of two things. One idea was that the tragedy striking Heaven World had hailed itself down to Earth World and struck the man right before him- they were called Alternates, and they took the places of people, making themselves look completely like them- except they had the ability to do things that were biologically impossible, like rip their head off and live, or be engulfed in flames and come out without a scar. Both of those things were examples that Heaven World had given out across the entire land, as they were things they had tried to do to kill Alternates. So far, though, the only way discovered to kill an Alternate was to stab it in the third eye, which appeared somewhere on the body and was usually a spot like the arm, neck, or leg.

What Alternates did with people was unknown, but all that was figured out was the disappearances of many, many real people, and the replacement and spreading of fake versions.

DJ Yellow was either an alternate… or pulling a sick joke and pretending to be one. It wasn’t far fetched to expect him to pull a downright awful joke like that at a Halloween party, so Blue shrugged it off like nothing, knowing that he was probably the only one at that party who paid attention to news from Heaven World. Considering that the DJ hadn’t started acting weird like that until they HAD reached the party, it seemed more logical than just immediately assuming the person before him was fake.

A few hours passed. Music played, fatty and sweet food was eaten, and musicians and their plus 1’s spoke to one another. Only a few minutes after their conversation had happened, the rap men entered the main hall from the back, dressed in matching costumes that looked like zombies. It depended on the person whether or not watching them question how the fuck their sisters had gotten in was entertaining or not, but the girls weren’t kicked out either way.

Everything seemed to be pulling together finely, until…

JJ and Yellow hadn’t seen each other at all that night, until at one point, the DJ was asked to get an alcoholic drink from the kitchen. The alcohol wasn’t out freely at the snack tables, just to make sure nobody accidentally drank liquor or beer over dyed punch, so people would usually ask their partner to get a drink for them from the back.

JJ was returning from the back hall just as Yellow was descending down it, and it seemed the rockstar couldn’t resist a small remark. “And what are you supposed to be?” He said as the two were about to cross paths.

DJ Yellow stopped in his place, a cocky smirk on his face. “The headless horseman, obviously.” He held up the jack-o-lantern, holding it in front of his head.

“You have a head, DJ.” The other musician glared, raising an eyebrow.

There was a sudden tension in the air as the two realized they were alone in that hallway, and the door to the main hall was completely shut. “You think so?” Yellow turned his head and raised an eyebrow. Before JJ could even say anything-

He thrust the jack-o-lantern backwards.

It slammed into his head and he fell backwards, the lit candle squishing against his face and setting his hair on fire, hot wax falling onto his skin. JJ was stunned silent as he watched DJ Yellow’s body stand up without his head, leaving the smoldering wax and flesh on the floor. “Isn’t this a funny costume, JJ?” All of the remnants of his original voice were replaced by the whispering, fake voice of an alternate person.

“Wh- wha- what the fuck-?!” The rockstar couldn’t scream, he could only let out hushed curses. What he saw didn’t feel real in the slightest. As the other man stood up, he could see that the place where his head and his neck had separated held no arteries or bones, but only one bloodshot yellow eye. Blood leaked down his neck as his head smoldered in flames, melting as though it in itself was made of wax.

DJ Yellow stood back up. He turned around and picked up the pile of wax, human flesh, and pumpkin flesh, shaping it back together with his hands. “The look on your face- I don’t think I’ve ever been more entertained!” He laughed, “You’d never believe how long I’ve been waiting to pull that trick. I love being in the body of someone who finds jokes funny!” With that, he put his head back on his neck, tying his cape carefully so that the blood of his neck was veiled.

He walked right up to the rockstar’s face, leaning close.

“Be lucky this isn’t Heaven World.”

so yeah there’s your “yellow becomes a fucking cryptid” writing piece lmao

#rhythm heaven #dj school #rhythm tengoku #dj yellow #rap men #rap women #the rockers #horror writing #gore tw #tw gore #tw dark content #edners 2021 month of macabre art #chances are this is stuffed with typos i don’t proofread lmao

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pixelated-pogues · 4 years

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cast your mutuals as gemstones✨

ahhhh, this one is really fun!!

pearl: @rretrophilee because it’s one of my birthstones, and we potentially share the same birthday (maybe not actually but we’re celebrating on the same day 💛) also, bc you have a beautiful soul that i absolutely love, even if we don’t talk much.

alexandrite: @kiarasflowr this is my other birthstone! it changes color depending on what lighting it’s in, and is extremely rare. you just have a really cool and colorful personality, soo it seems fitting in my head? i feel like you have a lot to offer, which is why i associate you with this one in my head bc it reminds me of the different colors it turns in different lighting, if that makes sense?

ruby: @shawnssongs i’m not entirely sure why but i associate you with the color red? you’re such a fun person to talk to...and when i was reading about ruby’s it said that it’s a cardinal gem and is considered “precious above all others.” i think you’re precious...sooo it seems fitting

rose quartz: @softstarkey (i just tried tagging you as peachy-jj, oops. my statement still stands, you’ll forever be my peachy-jj abby lol) this one said that it’s all about attracting every kind of love and opening up your heart....annnd i feel like you’re such a positive and loving person. you just seem super genuine annnd i love you for it.

sapphire: @jjaybank bc this one symbolizes power and strength, but also kindness and wise judgement. we’ve only been buddies for a short amount of time (rad 4ever bb 💛), but you’ve been nothing but encouraging and kind to me.

lapis lazuli: you @snkkat bc this one encourages happiness, annnd getting to know you has been such a sweet and enjoyable time. you make me really happy so i thought this was fitting!

topaz: @outcrbanx bc this one is apparently nicknamed the “gem of friendship” and it’s no secret that you’re my absolute best bud. i read that this one is known to protect against different things...and i think that i’ve decided that, while you bring out my crackhead energy, you also always look out for me and would definitely throw hands or take care of me if i needed it. ilysm mills

okay sooo, i’m going to stop there, but i would love to go on!! this one was so much fun to do bc i’ve never really read up on gemstones and they all have neat meanings.

#lyss’s 700 celebration #cast your mutuals #boom casted #sooo i still feel a lil drunk #i definitely get very honesty and mushy when i’m like this #i hope you guys enjoyed reading these lol

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a-nerd-obsessed · 5 years

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Another Long, Unnecessary, and Obvious Star Wars Trailer Breakdown (Read: Wild Speculation) that Literally No One Asked For

So, obviously, it begins with Rey breathing hard, not unlike the trailer for TLJ. The trailer for TFA also began with breathing, except it was Finn. That’s mildly interesting, because in marketing for TFA, Finn was the decoy for the main Force-sensitive protagonist which actually turned out to be Rey. That means literally nothing but there you go.

Then we see Rey, alone.

She’s on a desert planet, possibly Tatooine, although that seems like too strong of a reference to ROJ in my unfounded opinion. It could be a part of Jakku we haven’t seen before too. But who knows.

But look at Rey: she’s calming herself, readying herself for whatever’s coming on the horizon.

And she looks ready. I mean, look at those awesome new Jedi-esque threads. The definition on those biceps. That Skywalker lightsaber, mended and functional like it’s no big deal, like we haven’t been freaking out over how she was going to repair it and what color it would be, but whatever - apparently she’s got this Force thing figured out.

We’ve passed on all we know

A thousand generations live in you now

I’m going to be generous and say that Luke is talking to both Rey and Ben Solo. I mean, with the exception of maybe the Knights of Ren, they’re the only two living Force-sensitives (in the purview of the main saga) who have been taught by a Jedi.

Now it could be just talking to Rey, especially since she has the physical representation of that knowledge in the Jedi texts, but we know Luke Skywalker is not done with Ben Solo - ”See you around, kid.” Also, Ben Solo is the legacy of the most influential family of Force-users in the galaxy, so I don’t see a way that, “a thousand generations live in you now,” doesn’t apply to him as well.

Now we hear that signature scream of a ion engine as the camera looks beyond our girl Rey to see a TIE fighter coming in low across the desert.

If you’ll notice, the angle of the sunlight is different in these shots. It’s behind her, then in front, behind, in front. I honestly can’t tell from the backgrounds, but these could be different places, or just different times. So she could have been standing there a really long time, just chilling.

Or, it could be JJ screwing with the time of day per his directorial whims again. Like in TFA, when the TIE fighters are coming in across Nymeve Lake on Takodana? Silhouetted against the setting sun? Yeah, in every other shot of that battle it’s a lot closer to noon than it is to sunset. So the angle of the sun could be nothing.

Still, whatever’s happening with the sun, it’s clear she’s expecting this bad boy to show up:

(Side note: two of my favorite sounds from SW is a lightsaber ignition and a TIE fighter engine - like, chills, every time).

But this is your fight

Again, I’m gonna say Luke is talking to both of them, and not in a you-two-need-to-stop-fighting-sit-down-figure-it-out-and-apologize-to-each-other kind of way, but a you-two-need-to-figure-out-how-to-defeat-the-bad-guy-together kind of way.

Which leads me to my overarching assumption: This is a team-up movie

Exhibit A:

He’s flying low. Really low. And to clarify, when I say “he,” I mean Ben Solo/Kylo Ren. Like when we’ve seen TIE fighters on strafing runs before (think the attack on Niima Outpost and Maz’s castle), they haven’t gone this low. Also, going low confuses their tracking according to Finn in TFA. He’s not targeting her using the tools at his disposal. And why go so low that she could literally gut his personally-designed ride with her lightsaber? This doesn’t seem like intent to kill here.

Exhibit B:

Rey knows he’s coming, and she’s ready. This is not her look from their duel on Starkiller, when she absolutely hated him and thought of him only as a patricidal maniac, or from the first few Force bond scenes, when she cusses him out. Not to get technical, but there’s a lot more teeth bared when she’s feeling murderous. No, this is the look she has when she’s totally in sync with someone, that someone being Ben Solo. Think the TLJ throne room fight.

Exhibit C:

He’s not shooting. If he was going to kill Rey, it definitely wouldn’t be by running her down with his sweet-ass custom TIE fighter. And it more than likely wouldn’t be by gunning her down either. This boy has Skywalker blood - if he kills someone he’s holding a grudge against, it’s gotta be up close and personal. That’s the only way to do it. San Tekka, Han, Snoke, Luke: all by lightsaber to the gut or chest.

All that is moot anyway because he’s not trying to kill her. Please. Really? Did you see their last scene together in TLJ? That sad sappy look in his eyes as she left him? Ain’t no way that boy could kill her.

Okay, and full disclosure, I got a little bit of an adrenaline rush when I watched this next part. Brace yourself.

Okay, totally badass, amirite?

But what are they trying to do here? I don’t know. Nobody does. If they tell you they do, they’re lying. Unless it’s JJ Abrams.

What I think they’re doing is NOT trying to kill each other. This is a coordinated stunt, possible multiple times. If you notice just in this GIF alone, two different angles for the sunlight.

Now what’s the goal then? For her to hitch a ride? Possible, although my logical brain starts calculating physics and thinks about the durability of the human body and I’m just like... yikes. But then again, that’s what the Force is for, right?

Another part of me just thinks she’s flipping over his ship based on her trajectory in the last frame before it fades to black, like a tuck and roll scenario. So, extreme training, then. I don’t blame them. If I had fun toys like that, I’d use them too.

If you want, here’s some great theorizing on this sequence by @gwendy85, also some here by @spacesoapopera

Then we dive into the rest of the trailer. We have this unknown ship that seems to appear a few times, so maybe it’s what our Resistance buddies are using for interplanetary travel. Also I’m super excited for this new planet because with the exception of Vandor in the Solo movie, we haven’t had a lot of mountainous worlds. It looks like there’s some kind of city/settlement at high elevation with all the clouds and snow blowing around. Consider my interest... piqued :)

Then there’s this. Mmm. 😏

This is the first time we’ve seen Kylo Ren fighting like this. So far his personal acts of violence have been either execution, interrogation, or dueling. But here, this is him on the ground, fighting alongside his troops.

I am ready.

Although it does beg the question, what are they pushing towards that would cause him to get so directly involved, especially since he’s the Supreme Leader now? Or maybe something happened (Hux’s coup?) so he doesn’t have the manpower to do the dirty work anymore which means he has to handle it himself. Of course, we haven’t seen much of his leadership style. He could be a hands-on kind of guy. I don’t know, but it’s got to be big - or personal.

Also, sorry, but the guy that Kylo is demolishing here is not the same guy Kylo stabbed in Rey’s Force vision from TFA - he doesn’t have the same weapon, although they may be connected. Plus, there’s more than one of these guys. If you watch the actual trailer, you can see a similarly dressed person run in from the right just before the jump. So, sadly, I don’t think this is a Knight of Ren, although that would be frickin’ AWESOME.

Speaking of things that are not, that’s not Kylo’s hands in this scene repairing the helmet. Although my boy is definitely embracing the First Order color scheme with the red accents on his helmet and TIE fighter. I’m a fan of all-black myself, but the Supreme Leader’s gotta represent. Interesting to note, however, that in the one scene of Kylo Ren we have in the trailer, he is sans helmet. It’ll be fun to see how the timeline of these shots works out.

MA BOYS.

And damn do they look fine.

Presumably they’re on that same desert planet that Rey and Kylo were on, practicing flips earlier in the trailer. So how did Rey get to be alone? When does Kylo show up? Is Finn holding Rey’s staff? What’s their objective here? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

And meet D-0, BB-8′s adorable new pal. I’m already in love. Droids are honestly some of the most underappreciated characters throughout the SW saga as L3 would be quick to tell you. Except maybe for Chewbacca, who doesn’t get nearly enough credit for all the shit he’s had to put up with.

And here he is with LANDO CALRISSIAN. The best thing to happen to the Solo movie, and I’m sure he’ll be amazing in TROS too. I may also die if he and/or Chewie get a moment to speak with Ben, so if you don’t hear from me after December, that’s why.

This is also the only time we see the Falcon. We do see shots of other ships that could be what our Resistance friends are using, although one does go down if fiery flames.

Our dashing duo again, always getting in trouble. I can’t tell you how excited I am for them to actually get to go on an adventure together along with Rey (and C-3PO of all people lmao). Yes, their journeys have be strongly intertwined in the last two movies, but getting to see them interact and observe their dynamics... I am ready.

And I’m just gonna say it. Poe Dameron and Finn are hot. Like, the Episode IX look for both of them is just so delicious, I love it.

Anyway, we get a brief glimpse of some action sequences: Stormtroopers with jet packs, maybe, chasing our Resistance darlings, and a ship getting shot down in a battle involving a Star Destroyer, maybe related to the shot of Kylo fighting on the ground earlier in the trailer?

This is clearly Leia’s hands. Don’t argue with me.

And she’s holding one of the medals she awarded to Han and Luke at the end of ANH. But which one? And why? You know, besides making me ugly cry.

Then JJ Abrams and Lucasfilm just decided to sucker punch the world with this shot of Leia and Rey embracing.

It blows my mind how quickly these two latched on to each other with such affection, and the implicit trust we’ve seen in their brief scenes together in TFA and TLJ. I know Leia’s story in this movie is going to stab me in the heart.

Also, the background has that temperate forest look, so maybe it’s the same place as in the still of Rey trekking through a forest that you can see here along with several others.

Now, when does this happen, before or after the chase on the desert planet? I don’t know, but I’d like to think this is the same planet where Kylo Ren is body-slamming that guy to the ground because that’s also in a forest, although it’s looking pretty wrecked when Kylo’s there.

And maybe - don’t hate me - maybe Kylo’s in full-on battle mode, mowing down everything in his way, because something happened to Leia.

Total speculation, but something’s gonna happen, right?

And then this. Hell to the yes.

I’m just going to assume this is the second Death Star. I mean, this is either the first Death Star on Yavin or the second Death Star on Endor’s forest moon. It seems like it has a fairly temperate climate, not tropical like Yavin IV has. And at this point I’m assuming it’s the same planet with the other forest scenes, but we have such limited footage (literally less than three minutes) there’s no telling what’s happening.

But they’ve come a long way to get here, and this is a big moment. Something’s out there, something they need, something they have to do.

(Also there’s another great theory about what’s going to happen here by @gwendy85)

We’ll always be with you

No one’s ever really gone

FADE TO BLACK.

PaLpAtInE’s CaCkLe😱😱😱

THE RISE OF SKYWALKER !!!?!?

So.

LISTEN UP PEOPLE! Kylo Ren is not the big bad. And he never has been. That’s gonna be the Emperor, every time.

And the only way to take that bad bitch down is if Rey and Kylo team up, y’all. Don’t argue me on this one.

Bonus: The music is optimistic throughout the trailer, and when the title is revealed, we get Kylo Ren’s (or should I say Ben’s?) theme taking a hopeful twist.

That’s it. That’s the story.

Now.

People that were missing from the footage:

General Armitage Hux

Rose Tico

a new character, Jannah, played by Naomi Ackie

Kerri Russell’s character

Richard E. Grant’s character

(Thanks @nancylovesreylo for pointing out ones I’d missed!)

Obviously it’s a teaser, and you can only throw so much in, but it’s still curious to wonder at the choices they made. Granted, these characters can be found in still images or have been discussed in interviews, but we weren’t able to see them in action yet. Why? What are they up to?

Anyway, I want to hear your thoughts! If you have answers to my questions, I want to know!

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #tros #reylo #trailer breakdown #star wars trailer #episode ix spoilers #tros spoilers #episode ix speculation #tros speculation

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thearabkhaleesi · 6 years

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STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI - EASTER EGGS, TRIVIA, AND THINGS YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED

Disclaimer: I did not find all of these easter eggs myself. I watched many Youtube videos and read many articles and gathered the best easter eggs and connections to the Star Wars movies and I compiled them into one organized post. Enjoy!

Obvious SPOILER WARNING!

Mark Hamill played 2 characters

Of course, Mark Hamill plays Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi, however, he also had a secret second role! Mark Hamill asked director Rian Johnson to give him someone to play in the movie’s Canto Bight casino scene. He plays a CGI character (and changes his voice) for a character by the name of Dobbu Scay. It’s unknown at the moment who Dobbu Scay was in the scene, but we do know that the name is an anagram for editor Bob Duscay.

Leia trained to be a Jedi

It was understood in the script, though not necessarily in the film, that Leia had begun training as a Jedi shortly after the events of Return of the Jedi. Motherhood, and later, discord in the Galactic Senate caused her to cut short her tutoring. This explains how she is able to use the Force to create a bubble of air around her and return to her ship after the bridge of the Raddus is destroyed. An entry in the canonical tie-in Visual Dictionary confirmed this as well.

(below: art by Jason Felix)

Clues that Luke wasn’t actually on Crait:

Luke looks much different than how he looks most of the film, with a shorter, darker haircut and darker clothes

His lightsaber was blue. Luke’s blue lightsaber was the one that he lost in Empire Strikes Back and eventually gets destroyed in The Last Jedi. After Empire Strikes Back, Luke has a green lightsaber.

It is established that there is no way in or out of the base

Luke’s X-Wing is shown to be underwater on Ach-To, indicating there is no way off the island after Rey leaves.

He makes no footprints on Crait. The film zooms in on Kylo’s red footprints during the scene, since the planet of Crait is covered in salt. Luke makes no footprints at all, since he isn’t actually there.

The Jedi texts

In the film, Yoda beats Luke to burning the tree (which contain the ancient Jedi texts), and says that Rey already knows everything that the books could tell her. Later in the film, when Finn gets Rose a blanket on the Millennium Falcon, the books are there in a blink and you’ll miss it moment! This teases that Rey could have stolen the books and Yoda was covering for her.

Ahch To Tree

The tree on Ach To protecting the Jedi texts is known as an Uneti tree. The character Chirrut Imwe from Rogue One carries a stick made out of wood that comes from the same type of tree wood. Also, in the film, Rey is drawn to an ancient tree and the library by a chorus of whispers; those whispers are actually a chant with a connection to “Star Wars Legends” and the Force, saying “some sort of Force mantra”, as sound editor Matt Wood described.

Luke is The Last Jedi

Once the title was revealed, many people speculated who the last Jedi could be. Throughout the press tour, director Rian Johnson insisted that Luke was always who the title was referring to “in his mind”. In the film, it is confirmed that Luke was the last Jedi, however, after his death, the last Jedi is now Rey.

Rey’s Parentage

It was claimed that Rey’s parentage would be discussed in The Last Jedi, and when Kylo tries to convince Rey to join him, he tells her that her parents are nobody, and that she knows its true. Many fans speculated on who her parents could be since the release of The Force Awakens, and were taken aback by Kylo’s claim. It is unknown whether or not his words are the truth as no official confirmation was made and Kylo could be lying just to get her to join him.

Luke’s compass.

In the Star Wars Battlefront 2 video game, Luke finds a compass. And in The Last Jedi, Luke is shown to have the same compass in his hut, which could have helped him find Ach To.

Luke’s burn

When we see Rey handing Luke the lightsaber at the beginning of the film, it zooms in on a shot of their hands and Luke’s robotic hand is shown to have a burn mark on it. This burn mark is a result of a blaster shot from the fight at the Sarlacc Pit in Return of the Jedi.

“Laser Sword”

In the film, Luke refers to lightsabers as “laser swords”, which is a reference to George Lucas, who called them laser swords before they came up with “lightsabers”.

Colored milk

In A New Hope, we see blue milk at Luke’s home on Tatooine. Then, in Rogue One, as an easter egg, we see blue milk again. And in The Last Jedi, we see Luke milking one of the animals on Ahch To and drinks its milk. While some people say they see it as the classic blue milk, others claim they see it as green (I did too).

Luke’s sunken X-Wing

When Rey looks on the cliff at Ahch To, she notices that there is a sunken X-Wing in the water, which is what got him to the island; this is also a reference to his training on Dagobah.

Luke’s door

When Rey busts in on Luke’s hut, you can tell that the door to Luke’s home is a re-used piece of Luke’s X-Wing. In addition to that, this easter egg goes even even deeper since in Empire Strikes Back, Yoda’s hut on Dagobah was similarly fashioned out of his escape pod from Revenge of the Sith.

Celebrity cameos

Many celebrities had cameos in The Last Jedi.

Joseph Gordon Levitt and Noah Segan: Joseph Gordon Levitt and Noah Segan, were in director Rian Johnson’s first film, Brick. Since then, Rian included them in every film he worked on since (The Brothers Bloom, Looper and now The Last Jedi). Segan appears briefly as a Resistance X-Wing pilot, while Levitt appears as a voice actor, playing the character of Slowen Lo in the casino scene. He’s the one who rats Finn and Rose out to the casino guards.

Justin Theroux and Lily Cole: Justin Theroux (from the Leftovers, Jennifer Anniston’s husband); he played the master codebreaker that Finn and Rose were looking for, the man who was gambling and wearing the lapel pin and white suit. British model Lily Cole played his girlfriend.

Warwick Davis is the character who mistakes BB-8 for a slot machine.

Some reports claim that Princes William and Harry had cut cameos as stormtroopers, whereas other reports say that the Princes are the stormtroopers in the elevator when Finn, Rose, and DJ are on board the ship to disable the tracker.

Tom Hardy and Gary Barlow are the stormtroopers with the weapons to kill Finn and Rose at Phasma's command.

Ellie Goulding is one of the background soliders on the Resistance's main ship, the Raddus.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this”

The phrase “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” is in every Star Wars film to date, but shocked fans as it didn’t seem to be in The Last Jedi! The reason for that was that it wasn’t said in English - it was said by BB-8!

No Lightsaber duels

While lightsabres are used often in the film, there are no lightsabre on lightsabre fights. The only time you see a pair of sabres clash, is in the Luke / Kylo flashback.

The Beastie Boys

JJ Abrams started a trend in The Force Awakens, including Beastie Boys references in the sequel trilogy. In TFA, we saw a new type of creature known as the Abednedo, with the one we see named Ello Asty, a reference to the Beastie Boys album, Hello Nasty. Rian Johnson included a character from the same race named Slowen Lo (voiced by Joseph Gordon Levitt) asa reference to the Beastie Boys song “Slow and Low”. Since Abrams is directing Episode IX, it’s likely we’ll see another Abednedo character with a name inspired by the Beastie Boys. (below: Ello Asty)

Director cameos: Gareth Edwards & Edgar Wright

Gareth Edwards, director of Rogue One, has a cameo on The Last Jedi as a Resistance solider during the battle on Crait; he was next to the soldier that tastes the salt. Additionally, director of The Last Jedi, Rian Johnson, had a cameo as a stormtrooper in Rogue One. British director and Rian Johnson’s friend, Edgar Wright also has a cameo in this scene, as does Ant-Man writer, Joe Cornish.

(pictured below: Gareth Edwards’ cameo, followed by Edgar Wright, his brother Oscar, and Joe Cornish in costume, behind the scenes of their cameo)

Maz Kanata’s “The Rocketeer” Jetpack

In the film, Maz Kanata is seen over a hologram, wearing a rocketpack/jetpack and as she turns, you can see the details more clearly. This pack is designed to mirror the jetpack that is worn in the Disney film The Rocketeer.

Raddus

In Rogue One, a character named Admiral Raddus, who was the head of the Alliance Fleet, sent his fleet to support Rogue One on their mission, which allowed the Rogue One squad to deliver the plans for the Death Star to Raddus’ ship. However, Raddus died when Darth Vader boarded his ship. However, he is not forgotten, as in The Last Jedi, the main Resistance cruiser is called The Raddus.

Foreshadowing in Kylo Ren flashback

In the flashback where we see what caused Ben Solo (aka Kylo Ren) to turn against Luke, a shot shows his lightsaber on his bedside table, with his calligraphy set/pen crossing the handle of the lightsaber; the placement of the calligraphy pen is placed to look like his future, Dark Side lightsaber (see below: credits to starwarsstuff on Twitter).

Snoke’s ring

In The Last Jedi, Snoke is wearing a ring which has a deep meaning. The ring is made of obsidian mined from under Darth Vader’s castle, and it shows the Four Sages of Dwartii (Sistros, Faya, Yanjon, and Braata)

Losing a limb

Throughout the Star Wars saga, in the 2nd movie of each trilogy (Original/Prequel/Sequel), the protagonist loses their hand (Luke/Anakin). However, in the Last Jedi, it is actually the antagonist, Snoke, who this happens to; Snoke loses his arm/hand when killed by Rey and Kylo. The lightsaber cuts through Snoke’s torso and arms. Thus, Snoke encounters the "limb loss" in a less than noticeable way, keeping in the tradition.

Carrie Fisher’s dog - Gary

In the scenes in Canto Bight, we see many different types of creatures in the casino, and one of the aliens (who appeared in an official still of the film) is actually the late Carrie Fisher’s dog, Gary, in costume! (He’s the dog-like creature on the man’s hand behind Rose). Apparently, when watching The Last Jedi, Gary recognized Carrie and his ears jerked up every time she was on screen.

Han’s Golden Dice

In The Last Jedi, Luke gifts Leia with Han’s golden dice from the Millennium Falcon. The diceare considered an Easter Egg in the previous films, only appearing very briefly in A New Hope, since the prop guys forgot to include it in later scenes and films.

Admiral Ackbar

Admiral Akbar, who is best known for saying “It’s a trap!” in Return of the Jedi, appears in The Last Jedi, but unfortunately later dies as a result of a trap.

Darth Sidious

Luke refers to Emperor Palpatine as Darth Sidious, making it the first time we’ve heard anyone refer to him by his Sith title since the prequels.

Rey exploring the Dark Side

The entire scene where Rey explores the Dark Side’s pull is a call back to Luke's experience with the Dark Side in Empire. And her heading into the Dark Side hole to find her parents, only to see her own reflection, is a call back to Luke fighting Vader, only to see his own face reflected back at him inside.

Battle on Crait / Battle on Hoth

The final battle between the Resistance and the First Order on Crait has a lot of similarities to the Battle of Hoth from Empire Strikes Back: the villains use walkers to assault a Rebel/Alliance base on a planet with a white surface, and the heroes use speeders to hold them off while everyone escapes.

Kylo taking Rey to Snoke: Return of the Jedi parallels

This entire scene is a parallel to one from Return of the Jedi, when Darth Vader brings Luke before the emperor. It's all there:

Rey willingly goes to Kylo, just like Luke surrendering to Vader on Endor.

Rey is put in handcuffs - just like Luke

Snoke removes Rey's handcuffs. just like the Emperor did to Luke.

While in the elevator going up to Snoke, Rey tells Kylo that there's still good in him, just as Luke said to Vader on Endor.

The red-colored guards (Snoke’s Praetorian Guards and Palpatine’s Royal Guards)

Snoke making Rey look out the window at the Resistance fleet getting attacked, just like the Emperor telling Luke to watch the Rebel fleet get attacked.

Rey's lightsaber on the arm of the chair, like the Emperor did with Luke’s

Rey tried to grab the lightsaber using the Force, just like Luke, but both were unsuccessful.

Rey and Luke being tortured

Kylo betrayed his master, Snoke, to save Rey just like Vader killed the Emperor to save his son.

When Snoke interrogates Rey using the force, the Emperor's theme can be heard playing in the background, with the camera panning to Ren as this happens. This exact same moment happens in Return of the Jedi when the Emperor is shocking Luke with force lightning and the camera pans to Vader, with the same theme playing.

Luke and Obi Wan in battle

During his final scene with Kylo, Luke refenrces Obi Wan and quotes his line “”, and the way he stands and lets Kylo run through him, parallels what Obi-wan did when fighting Vader for the last time.

Luke and the horizon

Moment before Luke’s death, he sees two setting suns, a direct visual callback to the sunset on Tatooine, when his journey first began.

Leia - A New Hope callbacks

A scene in the movie, Leia fires her blaster at Poe to stun him, and she is wearing all white with her head covered, just like when she fired on stormtroopers and was stunned by them stormtroopers in A New Hope. Of course, we also see R2D2 show Luke her message to Obi Wan.

Jurassic Park reference

When the new race creatures on Canto Bight, the Fathiers, stampede through the casino, a shot shows liquid in a glass on a table ripples due to their footsteps. This is a reference to the same way the water ripples when the T-Rex is approaching in Jurassic Park. (Laura Dern, who played Vice Admiral Holdo, starred in Jurassic Park as Dr. Sattler.)

Halved villains

Snake’s death is the second time a member of the Dark Side was cut in half from a lightsaber - the first person was Dark Maul, who was killed by Obi Wan in The Phantom Menace.

Kylo uses Vader’s flight tactics

During the space battle, Kylo Ren spins his fighter exactly the same way Anakin does in Episode 1.

DJ and Lando

Benecio Del Toro’s character (the codebreaker who helps the First Order) is never referred to by name in the film, but marketing material for the film refer to him as DJ. It was later found that the writings on his hat, are Arubesh (a language from the Star Wars universe) for “DON’T JOIN” (DJ), foreshadowing his betrayal. It is easier to see on the Funko Pop doll version of DJ, which was released months before the movie, a clue to his character’s role spotted by fans. Additionally, his character is a parallel to Lando in Empire Strikes Back - both are characters who seemingly help our heroes but are secretly helping the enemies instead.

Leia’s hair

When Han reunites with Leia in The Force Awakens, he says "you've changed your hair". When Leia meets Luke in "The Last Jedi", she says "I've changed my hair".

Luke’s blue and green lightsabers

This is the first Star Wars movie where we see Luke using both his blue lightsaber (which had belonged to his father Anakin, and which is now wielded by Rey) and his green lightsaber.

No Skywalker At the End

This is the first live-action movie in the franchise to break with the tradition to have a member of the Skywalker family in the closing shot. All previous movies included either Anakin, Luke and/or Leia in the final shot. Although Luke and Leia feature in the final scene, the closing shot only shows one of the young slave boys on the casino planet Canto Bight.

Force sensitive child

The final shot of the movie shows a kid on Canto Bight mopping, then with the Resistance ring and staring at the stars with hope. However, many people missed the fact that the child is Force-sensitive; when he reaches out to the mop, instead of grabbing it, it moves to his hand.

BONUS: THE LAST JEDI FORESHADOWING IN ROGUE ONE

In The Last Jedi, when the Resistance escapes the First Order after fleeing their old base on D'Qar, they jump into hyperspace and land in the middle of nowhere, as Finn says. But soon the First Order catches up to them, revealing that they have figured out how to track ships through lightspeed. It is a big deal since no one has been able to track ships through lightspeed until then. However, this plot point was subtly foreshadowed in Rogue One! Towards the end of Rogue One, when Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor are searching for the Death Star plans in the Scarif data banks, she mentions some of the projects in the Imperial archives, including "hyperspace tracking"! This means that the Empire had been working on the technology used in The Last Jedi during the time of the Rebellion, and that the First Order developed and used it against the Resistance. This Easter egg was discovered when Lucasfilm executive Pablo Hidalgo quoted a fan’s tweet that pointed out the connection (x).

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dontshootmespence · 7 years

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Unabashedly Us

A/N: An anon request for a JJ x Reader where they are on a date and a waiter makes some comments about them being together.

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“Baby! Are you ready?” You called from the kitchen and were already prepared to run out the door. One, you were hungry, and two, not just for food. Sure, you were physically starved, but JJ had been away on two back-to-back cases and this was the first time she’d been home in a week and a half, so you wanted to eat and get back to the apartment. “I’m hungry! And not just for food!”

When she laughed from the bedroom, putting the last touches on her outfit, and the sound made your heart flutter. You could just picture her mega-watt smile peeking out from the mess of perfectly wavy hair. “If that isn’t inspiration for me to move faster then I don’t know what is!”

Seconds later, she emerged, dressed in a pair of black leather pants and a stunning off-the-shoulder navy blue top that played perfectly off her eyes. You placed a peck on her cheek and grabbed her hand, pulling her down the stairs and into the car. It was time for some quality togetherness after an extended period of time apart.

For spontaneity’s sake, JJ had picked a restaurant about 20 minutes away that you hadn’t been to before. It was a gorgeous place, not really dress-down material, but not upscale either - it was right in between and a great compliment to both of your personalities.

The tables were made up with a plain white table cloth. In the center stood a stout crystal vase with different colored roses in each. The ones on your table were a beautiful coral hue. “This place is gorgeous, Jayge.”

She blushed and sat across from you, instantly grabbing your hand, leaving both of you to peruse your menus using only one hand. “What are thinking of getting?” You asked.

“The salmon looks delicious.” Her fingers traced circles in your palm.

“Me too! I’m really in a salmon mood.”

There was barely anyone in the restaurant yet. You’d decided to come early to beat the start-of-the-weekend rush. It was a good thing there were few people around, because they’d probably be sickened by how adorable you were (if you did say so yourself).

After deciding once and for all that you were both having the same thing, you placed your menus on the table as a cue to your waiter that you were ready to order, linking your fingers together and beaming at each other as he made his way over to the table. The man wore a strained smile as he approached, and his abrupt manner of speech took you off guard. “What can I get for you this evening?” It was like the words were what he was supposed to say, but the tone was his own.

“We’re both going to have the salmon,” JJ said, trying her best to smile at him. “And I’ll have a water also.”

“I’ll have a diet coke,” you added. “Thanks so much.”

Maybe he was having a bad day. You’d worked in retail and food service before. Some days, you just wanted to punch everyone in the throat and didn’t want to be there at all. “I don’t think he likes...us,” she said.

“Why would he not like us? He doesn’t know us.” It didn’t click until she spoke again.

She swallowed hard and pulled your hand to her mouth, placing a kiss on the top of your palm. “I mean, I think he doesn’t like the fact that two women are dating.”

“Well, that just sucks for him now doesn’t it?” You laughed. Fuck that. You weren’t gonna let anyone break your stride. You were dating Jennifer Fucking Jareau; you were proud to have her on your arm. You’d shout how much you loved her from the rooftops and if people didn’t like it, then fuck them.

For a while, you both let it go, falling back into easy conversation until he came back to the table. You were still holding hands, and this time you saw his eyes dart to their place on the table. He definitely didn’t like it. Well...too bad. JJ saw it too, and she wasn’t happy. Normally, she’d let things slide, but she’d had a tough couple of weeks and she blurted out her question before she could stop herself. “Is there a problem?”

“N-no...just, here.” He placed the meals down on the table. “Enjoy your meals and go.”

“Excuse me?” You weren’t even angry; it was more astounding than anything. “You’re trying to rush us out? We’re paying customers.”

“You came here early, which is good. You should be out by the time families start coming in.”

“Why should we have to be out before families come in?” JJ asked hotly. Oh, this was not going to be good. “Is my sexuality rude for the children? I can’t hold my girlfriend’s hand, but that couple in the corner can suck face and that’s not considered rude? Are you serious?”

“This is a family place. Just enjoy your meals.” And with that, he turned away.

“Is he fucking kidding me?” She hissed.

You rolled your eyes at his stupidity and took a forkful of your food. “Forget it, babe. He’s dumb. I’m hungry. You’re not going to change his mind.”

“Well, I’m gonna complain to the manager,” she replied insistently.

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Yea, why not? They should know who their employees are.”

Luckily, the manager came by just a few minutes later to ask how the meals were. “They’re delicious,” she started, “But I do have a complaint about our waiter.”

The woman was extremely attentive, her eyes almost soft and grandma-like as JJ started to explain what had happened. “Oh, that’s Brent,” she said, rolling her eyes. “We’ve known the type of person he is, but he needed a job so I wanted to give him a chance. Don’t worry. I’m going to have a word with him.”

“Thanks so much,” JJ said.

The weekend crowd was now filing in, drowning out the conversation that was being had between the manager and your waiter. Within 10 minutes, you finished your meals; the salmon was amazing. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the blur of your waiter approaching the table. “You told my manager? Just because I don’t like the fact that two women are together, you told my manager?”

“Yes,” JJ said without missing a beat. “I don’t care what you think in the context of your own home. When you’re doing a job, you keep that shit to yourself. It was inappropriate and I said as much.”

“How dare you!” He said, his voice rising in tone as he spoke. “I could get fired for that!”

JJ scoffed. “That’s not my problem. Maybe keep your homophobic bullshit to yourself and you won’t have a problem.”

“Better yet, don’t be a homophobe,” you added. If JJ was going to get into this, you might as well add in your two cents.

Most of the other patrons were now looking at you, JJ and the waiter. So much so that the manager returned to your table. “Brent, leave. You’re fired.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He screamed. “You fucking bitch!”

To everyone else’s dismay, the asshole known as Brent lunged in JJ’s direction, but she popped up from the table in a flash and wrenched his arm back behind him before pinning him to the table. “What the fuck?” He screamed.

“I’m an FBI agent, dumbass.”

JJ let him up from the table. He shook his arms out and looked at her in disbelief. “Brent,” the manager said again, “You’re done. Get out.”

Brent huffed and spat a few more curses in your direction before leaving. With him gone, the rest of the patrons went back to their meals. “I’m so sorry to both of you,” the manager said. “You said you enjoyed our food right?”

“Very much so,” you replied. Despite the asshole waiter, the place was gorgeous and the food was delicious.

The manager’s face softened again. “Then please come and see us again for another meal, drinks included free of charge at your earliest convenience. I’ll go get a little card or something to give you so that if you come in when I’m not here then my staff will know.”

After a complimentary dessert, you paid the bill and promised the manager you’d return soon, thanking her for her hospitality. “Well, that was an eventful dinner,” you chuckled.

“Sorry, I got really confrontational,” she grimaced. “I just can’t help it when people are like that. I love you and I wish people would just see that and not the fact that we’re women.”

“Me too,” you sighed. But there were going to be people like that all over the world. You just had to make the best of a bad situation. “I do have to admit though, you pinning him to the table was really badass and sexy.”

“Really?”

"Seeing you all protective and strong like that...sexy as fuck.”

JJ laughed and leaned into your shoulder. Sometimes people sucked, but you weren’t going to let one asshole ruin your night.

@coveofmemories @jamiemelyn @sexualemobitch @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @rmmalta @lukeassmanalvez @yoinkpeter @the-slytherin-ice-queen @marvelfanlife @amarislestrange @obsessed5sosfreak @sonhadoraative @1enchantedfantasy1 @ace-and-rosey @tarciau @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @offbrandcursewords @entelechysymphony @pugs-cats-bb-8 @davidr0ssi @sarahkay-19

#jennifer jareau #jennifer jareau x reader #jennifer jareau fanfiction #jennifer jareau fic #dontshootmespence #unabashedly us

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dontshootmespence · 7 years

Text

Private Instruction

A/N: An anon request for a smutty JJ x Reader where the reader teaches her how to go down on a girl. This is Pre-Will and super cheesy. I hope you enjoy :D @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @marvelfanlife @amarislestrange @obsessed5sosfreak @sonhadoraativa @1enchantedfantasy1 @ace-and-rosey @blakendores @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @offbrandcursewords @entelechysymphony @milkandcookies528 @pugs-cats-bb-8 @davidr0ssi @sarahkay-19

Warnings: Smut

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“Jayge, you’ve gotta get back out there,” you said encouragingly. As her best friend, the last thing you wanted was for JJ to be alone when she so badly wanted to share her life with someone. “I realize your last couple of relationships didn’t end well, but there is some lucky ass guy out there who is going to love you.”

JJ laughed lightly, the air escaping through her nose as she turned from the kitchen counter to face you. “What makes you think I’m only interested in men?” Your eyes widened at the thought. JJ liked women? Oh, that was not good news for your wandering mind. JJ was quite possibly the most beautiful woman in the world to you and she’d been the object of your affections since you started at the Bureau. As you formed your thoughts into something coherent, you attempted to wipe the blush off your face.

“In all our years of knowing each other, you’ve never once mentioned being bisexual.”

She shrugged and turned back toward the counter, where she was preparing mini ice cream sundaes for you both. “Guess, it just never came up. I’ve never been with a woman though. I just know I like them. I’m...” JJ told you nearly everything. What was she going to say?

“What?” You asked, but she turned away again. “Come on, I’m one of your best friends in the world, tell me.”

You definitely weren’t expecting the next words out of her mouth. “I’m nervous about ever getting into a relationship with a woman because I wouldn’t know what to do...sexually.”

You walked up to her side and placed your hand on her shoulder. “Did you know what to do the first time you were with a guy?”

“Kind of. Books and stuff.”

“Book learning is so minimal. I mean practically. Did you know what he liked? What he wanted? Before you slept with him?” Her wariness about the whole situation was actually pretty adorable. She shook her head. Of course she didn’t. No one did. You flew by the seat of your pants and hoped that you had a communicative lover so you could figure out what they liked. Whether it was with a man or a woman, it didn’t matter - same rules applied. “Exactly. If you end up with a woman, you’ll figure it out. Plus, you just have to do what you know you like on her.” You’d always been under the assumption that women were better lovers than men because women tended to pay attention more.

The conversation died into nothingness for a few moments before she blushed at the fact that it had even happened. “You’ll figure it out as you go along. I did.” Out and proud since the age of 15, you’d had relationships with both men and women and knew your way around bodies of all shapes and sizes. “You’ll just need to find someone who’s willing to teach you all the things you need to know,” you laughed. Shy was never your thing; you lifted your fingers in a “v” shape on either side of your mouth and made an “obscene” gesture.

“What? Like you?” JJ asked. Was she joking? Maybe she was joking? But why on earth should you let this opportunity slide?

The images that had run through your head in regards to JJ and a bed ran the gamut from her writhing underneath your fingers to her head buried between your legs to using a range of different toys on each other. “Jayge, I would be more than willing to teach you all about the ways of eating out of that’s what you want.” Honestly, it was said in jest. Never in a million years did you expect her to actually be open to the idea.

“Really?” She asked genuinely. “Would you?”

When she turned to meet your gaze again, she’d frozen in place, her eyes full of curiosity. “I mean, Jayge, you’re beautiful. If you genuinely have no idea what you’d be doing, I could give you some practical instruction. It’s not like I don’t think you’re one of the most beautiful creatures in existence.”

JJ blushed and looked at the floor. She’d always been so confident; seeing her so meek and unconfident was unusual. One last time, you tried to gauge whether or not she was serious. Once you did, you closed the space between you and placed your arms on either side of her body, resting against the counter.

In your mind, you’d done this with such confidence, but you never imagined actually getting the opportunity. Hesitantly, you leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed - lips pressed insistently against your own. You lifted your hands to the sides of her neck, cradling her face as you parted her lips with your tongue and turned to sweet kiss into a more passionate one. She tasted of strawberries; it was all you could do not to devour her right there.

Apparently, the feeling must’ve been somewhat mutual because she snaked her delicate hands around your waist and pulled you closer. Her trembling fingers told you she wanted more, but was hesitant to do anything wrong. “Slide your hands under my shirt,” you whispered, her mouth eager to swallow your words. Grabbing her hand, you placed it at the hemline of your shirt, hissing slightly when she lifted the material and the cool air of the apartment hit your heated skin.

When you leaned into the kiss, reveling in the feel of her fingertips against your stomach, JJ moaned into you. “See,” you said. Your lips brushed against hers, just a hair’s breath away. “You know what you’re doing without realizing it.”

“Does that mean we have to stop?” Her giggle made you melt. How could someone be simultaneously so sexy and so cute? It was maddening.

You shook your head and parted her lips once more. “Not if you don’t want to, Jayge.” Her sigh of relief made you wonder if she wanted this as more than just instruction on the art of women loving women. Everything in you hoped that that was the case, but even if it wasn’t you were going to enjoy this. Stay in the moment.

In a blur of soft fabrics, bright colors and quiet thudding sounds, somehow, you and JJ had ended up in your bedroom, thin slips of lace now all that were covering you. “Jayge, you are so gorgeous.” Marveling at her sun-kissed skin, you slowly kissed down her collarbone, between her breasts and down toward the hemline of her black lace panties. “Never imagined I’d get to do this.”

Your tongue jutted out to taste her above the lace; the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard left from between her lips as you kissed her. As her back arched upward, she brought her hands to her breasts. Taut peaks became visible underneath the delicate material, silently begging to be freed from their restraints. Despite what she’d said, JJ didn’t seem to need much instruction, but that didn’t mean that you weren’t going to make sure she enjoyed this.

Breathing heavily, you kissed back up her frame and lifted her top half off the bed so that you could remove her bra and sending it floating to the floor. You weren’t about to leave her upper half neglected as your tongue traveled over her, tasting. You brought each nipple in your mouth before taking her hands in yours and placing them over her sensitive breasts. “I’ll take care of the rest.”

JJ whined sweetly as you glided back down her stomach, leaving small love bites along the way. You grabbed the material between your teeth and pulled them down her legs bit by bit, before resorting to using your hands; you were growing impatient. This moment had played over and over again in your mind nearly since you began working with her; you weren’t about to wait much longer, especially once you heard her mutter your name. “Y/N,” she breathed.

“As with men, start out slow,” you said, laughing against her as you kissed her folds. “Figure out what she likes. What sounds is she making and when is she making them?” Raking your fingers gently around her thighs, you flattened your tongue and licked up the length of her slit; she quivered, but you wanted more.

Your tongue delved into her folds, licking and sucking gently at first, and then more insistently. When she arched upward into your mouth, you took a second to tease her. “Arching is usually a good sign that you’re doing something right.” Her smile brought a laugh up from the depths of you as you returned to devouring her, adding the sensation of your fingers thrusting in and out of her slick heat as your mouth provided a suction around her sensitive bundle of nerves. “Oh my god,” she breathed. “Y/N, please...more.”

Feverishly, you kissed and licked at her center until she was writhing underneath you, arching up into your mouth and begging for more with only her strangled cries of pleasure. You nearly shook with your own pleasure; watching her come undone was more than worth the price of this session of instruction. As she eased down from her climax, you kissed back up her body and took her lips in a passionate yet sweet kiss. “I think that was a very successful study session,” you giggled against her.

“I’d say so,” she said, her breaths still slightly ragged. She slid her hand up the length of your back and into your hair. “But I think I may need another lesson or two.”

You chuckled into her neck. “I’m sure I could be convinced to provide you further instruction.”

#jennifer jareau #jennifer jareau x reader #jennifer jareau smut #jennifer jareau fanfiction #jennifer jareau fic #dontshootmespence #private instruction

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