#If you refuse to include transgender and intersex people in your activism because you think it'll save you. Get well soon.
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Digging your tabletop pride icons! I like the filter effect they have! :-) Do you by any chance have a textpost of the characters and their sexual orientations/gender identities? I recognise some of your characters, but not all of them, and there are pride flags I've never seen before, so I'd like to learn more. :-)
well thank you. it was just a bit of photoshop work.
i do not have a list of that made up yet...so lets do that now lol
let me preface this though with two points.;
1) i am 1 of 2 females who play regularly in my dnd group of 6 (sometimes 7) people, the other is Dixon. so i am usually the only female in the party itself. i have only ever played 2 (and a half) male characters in the 6/7 years i’ve been playing; every other male character i do in my tabletop group arts are story characters, not player characters. i am also 1 of 2 (sometimes 3) people in the group under 40. romance isn’t really a big part of our storytelling...no matter how hard i try to put it back in there ^^;
2) i identify as quoisexual myself, so all my characters have that to some degree in them just because i’m the player and you bleed into your characters that way. i also use goggle as a helpful tool to learn about all the different identities, so my knowledge and interpretation is fallible.
ok so list now;
Paige-Cupioromantic, meaning does not feel attraction, but desires that type of relationship
i went with this, because Paige....well...is Paige lol. as one player once said “it feels wrong trying to date her, because she acts so young and innocent” and to be fair, she isn’t really out here looking at people as romantic partners. she wants friends, she loves her friends. also you know, mortal embodiment of an eldritch horror terror, so...
Cizma-Fraysexual, meaning has strong attraction until a relationship is formed and then the attraction fades
she’s the opposite of Paige, and this is mostly based on her “relationship” with InkShade honestly; she believes she’s madly in love with him, but he refuses her, so she pursues him more. i think if he gave into hr advances and reciprocated, she’d realized her feelings weren’t what she thought they were. i admit, this one’s new to me so my interpretation could be very wrong, but that’s how i feel it fits Cizma.
Ada-Quoisexual, meaning has trouble distinguishing between romantic and sexual attraction
as i said above, my default is this, so if i don’t know a character’s leanings it’s their too (yes jelena is my icon and is this too fyi). BUT in fairness, it suits Ada because of how she was raised; she has very little idea how to properly people here. and she is developing some sort of a relationship with Til. also, her first dice bag was my pride bag with this flag.
Gauzra-Lithoromantic, meaning has desires of attraction, but does not want them reciprocated
again, kind of supposed to be in opposite to Ada, and seeing as i still don’t know Gauzra’s personality this could change...but from my interpretation of her right now, this feels right. plus the flag goes with her color scheme.
Rosalba-Demisexual, meaning does not feel attraction until a strong bond is formed
at the time i was playing Ro, this was how i identified primarily, but it still suits her i think. if you met Rico after meeting her, you would never know WHY they were a couple, but those two kinda fought against two life times to be together (three if you count the accent into godhood). Ro’s also never been good at getting close to people, but once she did, you’re stuck with her.
K’nessan-Nonbinary, meaning does not identify with a binary gender scale; Marsic, meaning is attracted to masculine qualities
ok, ok, *technically* since Ness is a hermaphrodite they should be inter-sexed BUT they do prefer the gender neutral pronouns (followed by the masc; never use “it/that’ or you will die)...and their color scheme matches the flag, so... ^^; i also included in the list the Marsic because Ness does have a preference for male partners
Nemo-Asexual, meaning has no desires for attraction
Nemo is nothing but a hero, so that pretty much screamed ace to me...plus it matched her color scheme
Mekala-Aromantic, meaning has no desire for attraction
i wasn’t really sure about her, since you know 2 failed campaigns in a row didn’t give her much room to grow, but i could see this working. she’s not really looking for anything, more searching her past.
Jass-Bisexual, meaning attracted to both males and females
Jass is my sabretooth, so my sabretooth headcanons are canon for her lol. we only saw her have a relationship with fantasy!Deadpool in the game she was played, but hey
Tesla-Electio Aroace, meaning has no desire for attraction, whether sexual, romantic, or tertiary
i admit, this one is completely new to me, so my interpretation could be very wrong, but the idea that this is one that is uninterested in any form of attraction suits my viral android very well. again, she has gone on record saying that “the biological imperative for emotions is distractive” (more or less) which is especially funny since she was played in a valentines game where the goal was to let Cupid infect a town with horniness to make babies; Tesla was the only one unaffected and actively trying to stop that. so yeah.
Theo-Pansexual, meaning is attracted to any gender
yeah, Theo’s just out there doing and being anything
Sean-Bisexual, meaning attracted to both males and females; he however has a stronger male preference
i admit, one reason why Sean is bi and not just gay is for the “half and half” joke...but yeah, he started the game with a boyfriend, he would kill everyone for his boyfriend, he woudl die for his boyfriend.
Vitanya-Gynosexual, meaning attracted to feminine qualities
still learning new things as we do this, but since Vita has had little development (but will be getting more) i’m kinda aiming to have her be a bit more into girls...we’ll see how that pans out
Lokaj-Androsexual, meaning attracted to masculine qualities
originally i had him as something else, but when i saw that description i liked it better, since he ended up with Arkos and all
Arkos-Transgender, meaning identifies with a different physical gender than the one assigned at birth; Gay, meaning attracted to men
going more off the latest version here than my previous one for this. but yeah, he’s just straight up trans here, not intersexed, and his tribe is cool with it. plus being a tribe means not enough money to get magic to physically change anything...but he’s ok with that. in his tribe it’s less what you have and more how to act.
Rikkar-Bisexual, meaning attracted to both males and females
mainly because he did have a fiance...even though they weren’t super into the idea, they weren’t against it either...but he’s far more into Ark
Tarn-Lesbian, meaning attracted to women
she has been a loud raging lesbian since day one, and nothing will ever change that. not even one continuity having her in a forced, bested in trial by combat, marriage to Starlord basically. she will only go for a dude if he’s a dragon...and he’s gotta be a hot dragon...and even then it win’t lasting dude.
Reyzah-Abrosexual, meaning one’s attraction is constantly changing or fluid
Reyzah started as a knock-off tarn honestly and never got to thrive too much. but compared to her siblings, she was always the one learning and trying to figure herself out, so this fits well.
Margus-gay, meaning attracted to men
Margus, similarly to his sister, started off as quiet nervous gay, and by the end of the adventure he had himself a doppleganger husband and confidence to boot, so yeah, my baby boy grew up good. admittedly a lot of his self-confidence issues were more from his half-orc heritage, BUT that fed into the “no one would wanna date me cause i suck” mentality. so yeah.
Nikkos-Asexual, meaning feels no desire for attraction
he’s Margus’ twins, and was always intended to be some sort of ace. the joke being the Ironbrood kids are a full set; likes girls, likes guys, figuring things out, likes doughnuts. i waffled over making him a more defined type though...but since i’ve only played him for like one session as a background character, i’m not sure where he’s at. so general ace is fine. he loves and supports his siblings, and is best uncle to Margus’ kids anyways, so s’all good.
Jelena-Quoisexual, meaning has trouble distinguishing between romantic and sexual attraction
i know i said up in Ada’s that Jelena was this too, but here i am saying it again since she’s my actual icon and not in the reffed to image set. i haven’t played her, so this could change...but i’m very self projecting on her during quarantine to begin with, so yeah she’s quoi until proven otherwise ^^;
so hope you found this informative...and that my information isn’t too terribly off ^^;;;
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Ace/Aro Exclusionist Arguments
Note: For the sake of argument, all asexual people in examples are completely asexual, cisgender, and heteroromantic, and all aromantic people are completely aromantic, cisgender, and heterosexual.
Part 1: Exclusionist Ideologies
There are two main arguments that most ace exclusionists use when defending their beliefs.
Definition of LGBTQ+
The first one has to do with fundamental definitions of who is and is not LGBTQ+, and that the definition they hold conflicts with the definitions of inclusionists. They believe that you must be transgender and/or experience same-sex attraction, and aces/aros do not fit that label. This definition was nonexistent in the late 90s and through the early 2010s, until TERF rhetoric worked it’s way through the LGBTQ+ community and warped the definition into one of exclusivity.
As of now, the most frequent definition used online and in the physical world includes the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Nonbinary, Genderqueer, Pansexual, Polysexual, Polyamorous, Intersex, Queer, Aseuxal, and Aromantic labels in their acronym or full definition. The Trevor Project, a prominent and well-respected LGBTQ+ organization dedicated to aiding mentally ill and suicidal queer youth, actively promotes the inclusion of aces/aros in the community.
Before this definition existed, there was originally the widely understood “gay” aspect and definition of the community due to the AIDS crisis in the 1980s, which received the most media attention, and homophobia. “White, male and Western activists whose groups and theories gained leverage against homophobia did not necessarily represent the range of racial, class and national identities complicating a broader LGBT agenda.” Intersectional feminism, for example, was a response to this idea of “cis white gays” being the only ones to benefit from the shrinking homophobia in the United States today.
Oppression
Oppression is the second main argument when the exclusion of aces/aros is discussed. Most exclusionists argue that a lack of sexual or romantic attraction rarely, or never causes them to be oppressed.
Asexual/Lesbian Corrective Rape
Lesbian exclusionists often use the argument of corrective rape used against them by men in an attempt to “fix” them or “make them like it.” This disgusting and unfortunately common practice was once a lesbian-only term, but has since been interpreted and applied to asexuality by many asexual people. These asexual people claim to have experienced corrective rape by people, often men, that think they can “fix” them or “make them like it,” exactly as lesbians describe. Lesbian exclusionists are often frustrated by this, because they strongly believe that this term belongs to them, and only applies to them. There is an immediate alienation as a result, and actual discourse often comes screeching to a halt while asexuals and lesbians argue about corrective rape.
Aromantic Oppression, Mental Illness, and “Taking Advantage”
Frequently argued between inclusionists and exclusionists is the idea of oppression based on a lack of romantic attraction. Aromantic people believe that they are alienated from much of society and considered broken because they do not experience romantic love, while exclusionist reasoning against it ranges from the simple “that’s not true” to “you are mentally ill.” It’s a case of the “your word against mine” phenomenon, and just cannot be viewed objectively, since both arguments are based on experiences and opinions.
To elaborate on the idea that aromantic people are mentally ill or actually broken, nearly all inclusionists and a majority percentage of exclusionists disagree with this. However, some exclusionists, sometimes TERFs as well, consider them to be schizophrenic, psychopaths, or having a severe personality disorder.
There is also the aspect of aromantic people, men in particular, using their orientation against their sexual partners. The idea of “this cishet man is claiming to not feel romantic attraction and having sex with women” causes them to extrapolate to their point of “he is taking advantage of them.” Pretty much all aromatic men and women strongly disagree with this point, as they do not consider themselves to be predatory because of their ingrained orientation.
Part 2: TERFs
TERFs are the taboo subject of the LGBTQ+ community. Primarily consisting of cisgender lesbians, the most common subject of discourse they engage in is about the existence and validity of trans people, particularly transwomen. They are considered outcasts, their radical and regressive ideologies are deemed too toxic for the general population. They are few in number, but incredibly loud and spread like parasites throughout ace and trans discourse.
Self Identification and Common Signs
The most common indicator of a TERF is their self-identification of being “gender critical” and using the acronym “LGB.” This is a deliberate exclusion of transgender people, and everyone under the genderqueer/nonbinary umbrella. There is rampant biphobia, aphobia, and primarily transphobia. They often refuse new information, reports, statistics, news articles, and choose to focus on their hard mindset of “trans people are trying to reinforce the patriarchy.”
Their common ideologies include the intense hatred of transwomen, claiming that “men pretending to be women are invading female-only spaces” and that transwomen lesbians are “men trying to rape women.” There is also discourse about cisgender lesbians refusing to be sexually intimate with transwomen due to their repulsion of male genitalia, but there is often the argument of trauma to reinforce their position.
TERFs As Exclusionists
TERFs frequently echo each other, their voices getting louder each time a toxic opinion is shared. In addition to excluding transwomen, they also attack aces/aros and usually identify as exclusionists. This is often backed up with the argument of oppression, previously described to be one of the main arguments in ace discourse.
In order to make their opinions louder and repress transwomen, TERFs engage in disrespectful and occasionally illegal activity that increases tension and hatred. They will mock and misgender transwomen, calling them slurs and fake. They send suicide baiting messages, and doxx transwomen to expose them to more dangerous people that intend to bring the threat of physical harm, up to actual murder.
Part 3: Exclusionist interaction and behavior with aces/aros and discoursers
A substantial percentage of individuals within the LGBTQ+ community that identify as transgender, genderqueer, nonbinary, or other gender-nonconforming label also identify themselves as exclusionist, more often than not on the basis of oppression. Some inclusionist discoursers have compared them to TERFs due to their sometimes extremely hateful, aggressive, disrespectful, and suicide baiting tactics used to push their points and agendas forward on inclusionists and those that choose to remove themselves from discourse altogether.
This usually causes incredible outrage from said individuals that fall under the “T” in the acronym, because they loathe the idea of being compared to their “oppressors,” TERFs. They generally miss the point that the inclusionists are trying to make, and instead focus on the injustice of the comparison.
Inclusionists, while going about it the wrong way, are trying to point out the hypocrisy of transgender exclusionists; they exclude ace/aro people, while TERFs are doing the exact same thing to transgender people, even if it’s backed by different faulty reasoning.
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