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#IVE BECOME SO MUCH BETTER . BUT AUGH

dormont · 3 days

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augh some more acespec musings (specifically about s*ffrin) because ive been seeing this topic come up recently. spoilers ahoy and some kinda heavy venting about nsfw stuff and also sorry if this is a mess my thoughts are all over the place

like i wanna make it abundantly clear that my attraction to s*ffrin exists entirely in a vacuum and any comments i make aren't done with the intention of being weird and erasing his asexuality or sex repulsion. this is purely an exploration of my own feelings.

like i joke like "teehee hornyposting" but fr using s*ffrin as some sort of muse to explore my own feelings towards asexuality and sex in general has been so helpful?? like i do pretty strongly interpret his sex repulsion as being somewhat related to their self-worth and declining mental health (based on how their reactions to the naked drawings change throughout each act to become more negative (in act 2 he's described as looking at it curiously, but in act 5 he straight up describes it as disgusting) and how they similarly become disgusted with their relationship with is*beau with the confession and bad touch events done). that's just how i've analyzed the text and the way he acts throughout the game. and ofc like i've said before this doesn't mean that the sex repulsion is something that needs to be fixed, but rather it's a topic that could explored in a much healthier way with a lot of healing.

and like the reason why i feel strongly about this is because i'm the same. my feelings towards sex and engaging in sexual activities do heavily tie in with how i'm feeling. when i'm at my worst i don't want to be perceived. i feel so thoroughly disgusted with myself as a physical being that i don't want to indulge those feelings at all. i adore love and physical affection but sometimes it's too much for me. meanwhile when i'm in a better mindset i'm more open to exploration and engaging in that stuff. relating to s*ffrin in that aspect has been helpful for me. especially as i can also see a lot of this tying in with s*ffrin's very heavy bpd-coding, saying as a borderline myself. bpd plays such a huge factor in my self-worth, my identity, and my relationships. it's at the core of everything and i see a lot of that in s*ffrin too. like i've been questioning if i'm on the aro and ace spectrums but that's so hard to determine because bpd (as well as not being in tune with my emotions at all and having a hard time distinguishing how i'm feeling (shoutout to alexithymia)) can make my feelings so inconsistent and hard to recognize even as i'm feeling them. and that's not even going into how sexual trauma and awful past experiences have muddied the waters further, or how being intersex has messed me up so much biologically that i barely feel anything from doing sexual activities and that makes it harder to enjoy them.

that's why using s*ffrin as a vice for this has been so helpful because, and i mean this genuinely and seriously, he's just like me fr. like the self-hatred being part of all of their feelings is just?? me??? and exploring that with is*beau as another factor has also been extremely helpful in exploring this stuff as someone in a relationship. there's a second party to consider there and whenever i see this topic between the two of them be explored while being mindful of s*ffrin's thoughts and feelings and experiences it's been very validating.

idk that's just my interpretation of him as a character and how i relate to this aspect of him and if there's any other (???) acespec/sex repulsed people or just have complex feelings surrounding the topic in general that have read this far and relate similarly i would really like to hear? obviously you don't have to go into detail if you don't want to but like just hearing that others feel the same about him and relate to him in similar ways would be good for easing my insecurities and worries about coming across as disrespectful.

#i am being vulnerable and opening up for once

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chiroptaro · 11 months

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Hey! Who are your top 3 action webtoon characters (doesn't have to include main character) and why?

gives u a big hug when i saw this ask i yelled out loud ty SM for asking . i had to think long and hard about this one bc honestly there are SO many amazing characters to choose from augh!!! okok im gonna put it under a read more bc i went a little overboard my bad 🤧

slight spoilers(?) for viral hit, teenage mercenary

3. kayden from eleceed!!!! okay first of all shoutout to casein nitrate for being the funniest fuckin concept ive ever read in a webtoon oh my GOD. when he was in human form for the first time in front of the gang and ilhyuk and was like "why arent they giving me treats.." I WAS ROLLING OH MY GODDD. THE WAY HE INTERACTS W PEOPLE IN HIS CAT FORM IS HYSTERICAL. anyways as a character i rlly rlly like him because of how much he. cares about jiwoo like that's LITERALLY his son that's his little boy the found families in eleceed have me sobbing all day theyre so important to me. i also like him because of HOW STRONG HE IS?? LIKE HE'S SO YOUNG BUT HE'S RESPECTED BY EVERY AWAKENED BC OF HIS STRENGTH LIKE OMG. also he is so so gender im so jealous of him and kartein UGH. speaking of kartein him and kartein's relationship is great to me bc they bring out dif sides of each other that r super cool to see !! also theyre hilarious together . kayden's funny and he looks cool AND he kicks ass AND HE'S A GRUMPY DAD FIGURE like it does not get any better than this.

2. ijin from teenage mercenary/mercenary enrollment !!!! this one is my fav webtoon of all time 💓💓 i adore ijin because like...even after all he's been through and how grim and immovable his life has made him, he's still so so gentle with his grandfather and little sister. he loves his family so so much and it makes me ILL. speaking of his family i adore just how many families he HAS like he has the numbers, major kang and all them (his relationship w them has me absolutely dead on the floor the amount of rants ive gone on abt them is frankly worrying), dusik cha n his right hand man, and ofc his grandpa and dayeon!! he's so caring that he creates such strong bonds with so many people and they become irreplaceable in his heart and he would do absolutely anything to protect them. he puts the people he sees as family over EVERYTHING in his life and once a person has become part of his fam he becomes super protective of them <3 an example of that is once he knew that jiyeh was engaged to major kang, who was the first person to really help him understand what family means, he immediately added her to the ppl to be protected and went super far to protect her when she got kidnapped because he knows she's special to major kang!! someone in the comments said "his in-law!!" and that had me sobbing on the floor bc he got so excited and felt like he had to be cool in front of her AUGHH. he's such a sweetheart while also being an incredible and badass fighter and that combo is my fav kind of character 🫶🫶

1. MY ABSOLUTELY FAV IS TAEHUN FROM VIRAL HIT/HOW TO FIGHT. me and my buddy literally rant to each other all the time about him every time he shows up we're kicking our feet twirling our hair giggling.... i haven't finished his backstory arc (im paused at the beginning of it i've had to mentally prepare myself) but i like him bc he's really passionate abt taekwondo and was ready to teach it to hobin even tho he said he would beat the crap out of him the next time he saw him ... imo this was the turning point for them and if hobin hadnt gone to him to learn the back kick taehun wouldnt have become such an integral part of the hobin yu company(lol). i also rlly love that he was determined to start a newtube channel even tho he thought it was embarrassing aughh it was so cute!! also he watches hobin's streams and is visibly super proud of how far he's come and i think thats rlly sweet <33 i also love him bc he's incredibly gender like i wish i was him so so bad the mullet and the style and the LIPGLOSS AND MASCARA AND EYELINER and the snark and the asking for 500 won thing he's so frickin cool im obsessed with him AUGH!!! i just think he's super cool. another reason is bc of how obviously fruity that guy is like oh my god he cannot be normal for 3 seconds every time he's trying to intimidate someone he has to get all up in their personal space like,, be fr. when he first confronted yeonu(?) did u see that pose bruh what was that. every time his fangirls show up in v-hit's chat im like theyre LITERALLY me i could not relate to them more honestly. i made him an entire pinterest board . the entire reason i started reading v-hit was for him bc my friend told me abt how cool he was and i just had to get in on that so,, yaya !!! he exceeded my expectations a thousand times and ilhsm

^ some of my fav taehun scenes altho every single panel he's in has me blushing and giggling 🤭

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

frankenstein from noblesse!! he's so badass and i love his hair and he's so loyal he just. aughh even tho the gang pisses him off sometimes he still cares for them sm

mr na from get schooled/true education!! he cares so so much abt the kids and helping them and he really wants to defend his fiancee and prove that she was right to say all kids can change <3

gerard from weak hero...he is so special to me i love how old man he is. he sleeps in bushes and enjoys slapstick comedy he's just like me fr!!! i just love him soo much smth about these guys who fight w kicks 💓

#eds asks #webtoon #action webtoon #viral hit #taehun viral hit #teenage mercenary #mercenary enrollment #yu ijin #eleceed #kayden eleceed #weak hero #get schooled #noblesse #beloved anon #anon u have no idea how excited i was when i got this ilysm

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afaramir · 3 months

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I love your posts about Denethor and Faramir. I'm always glad to see someone who loves both him and Faramir and gets that Denethor being this hugely impressive tragic figure makes Faramir so much better and more interesting. The relationship between them is so complex and I love it so much. The film versions make me angry as well.

oh man thank you so much...i find it kinda crazy that you're saying this to me bc im pretty sure i have a bunch of posts from your denethor tag sitting around in my drafts so i can look back at them later. many days i feel very much like an Amateur Denethor Enjoyer but i am thrilled that me just kind of being unhinged on the dash has brought you joy. and get ready bc here i go again LOL

yeah exactly what you said...denethor's tragedy informs and is informed by faramir so so so much and it's just kind of wild to me that on the tragedy enjoyers website so many people refuse to see it. on the second-best enjoyers website...the guilt-and-despair enjoyers website...the "the unimaginable has happened and i AM going to kill people and then myself" enjoyers website...i could go on! he is literally doomed by the narrative and just goes well ok fuck you i WILL die at the end but it will NOT be in the way the narrative wants me to.

it is truly the relationship of all time. faramir does love his father and yet because of the strength of his principles he is genuinely incapable of showing it in a way that denethor can understand. and denethor loves him too but after a certain point just cannot show it anymore because duty has to take precedence. he's not allowed to give faramir any quarter even in private. and YES that includes anything that would resemble a normal emotion. ngl i wouldn't be surprised if that's the only way faramir is like. LETTING him communicate with him. like i feel like the final assault on osgiliath is not the first time faramir's taken the "if you want to get me to do something you ARE going to have to order me to do it" stance. and yet denethor tries. at the end he takes trying to an unhinged level. idk it often feels like even in the general fandom insistance on one-dimensionally dickish denethor there's somehow also a lack of understanding that it IS a toxic expression of love but that doesn't make it not love. like He's Not Winning Dad Of The Year that is not what we're saying at all. we're saying is "it was born of love. it was a terrible thing yet born of love." thats all! that's why it's so tragic because it's all about love!!! augh...

ok i don't typically put quotations from my own writing in like real posts but also ive been thinking about the faramir goes to rivendell au 24/7 and i just. HAVE to pull this line bc it kind of captures exactly how i feel about the denethor-and-faramir mutual Character Honing.

Yet he [Faramir] cannot deny that each of them sharpens himself upon the whetstone of the other, and it is a debt he loathes to owe and yet cannot hope to repay.

i mean.......like are you picking up what im putting down! like! AAA! both in-narrative and out of it they are always ALWAYS making each other better (or worse. but worse in a More Interesting Way) but AT WHAT COST!!! he loves his father he would not be the man he is today without his father both in a good and bad way he HATES that these two things are true. faramir and denethor are not foils they're parallels they build each other's characters up when you put them next to each other!! faramir is who denethor wouldve couldve been without the war!! hey hang on a second is denethor who faramir would've become if he were the lord steward during the war of the ring? (this is a little reductive i think faramir's susceptibility to despair is quite different to his father's. and i wonder how long his gentleness would've prevailed / worked side by side with his duty instead of being diametrically opposed to it. but anyway. well i'll be thinking about THAT for the rest of the night. i cannot start another au i cannot i cannot i cannot). anyway you can't get one of them without getting the other and that is all...

man i always say like oh don't get me started on movie faramir and denethor and then the don't think of an elephant effect GETS me and it gets me started. last night i genuinely said like "well i won't get into it" and then three hours later it was 2am and it was so very clear that i had Gotten Into It. i had to tell our other roommate like "tell me when ur going to bed i am talking about denethor and i will be yelling." my roommate just came home and i told her about this post and then i had to explain a detail and she SET ME A THREE MINUTE TIMER bc she was like i have to go study. and that's fair

anyway i hope you are having a good night/day/whatever time it is for you. thank you for this ask it is always fun to see you pop up in my notifs whenever im denethorposting lol

#from the inbox #bretwalda-lamnguin #i always get so bitchy when im talking about the popular interpretation LOL #i had to like take some deep breaths and remove The Tone from this post. if its still there thats on me #i feel like you get it #Another 800+ Word Denethor Post From Yours Truly. when u become a denethor girl (gnc) there is truly no going back...#denethorposting

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hungry-hobbits · 2 years

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actually i said i wouldnt get into the nandor thing but u know what i'm gonna it feels like such horseshit that nandor does all this bad stuff to guillermo and there is a glimmer of "oh i love him as my friend and ive hurt him" and then he just doesnt do anything truly good about it. like everything he does is so stupid and selfish like guillermo is trying to reach out to him ESPECIALLY AFTER THE FREDDIE SITUATION WHICH GUILLERMO SHOULDVE BEATEN HIS ASS FOR and he's like "oh i'm just going to read for the next twenty years" like AUGH ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU SPENT THE PAST 3 SEASONS BEING OBSESSED WITH LINEAGE AND FAMILY AND BEING ALONE AND GETTING MARRIED AND NOW SUDDENLY THERE'S NO INTEREST?? WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?? WHAT WAS ALL THE BUILD UP OF THREE SEASONS FOR ALL THAT JUST FOR HIM TO BE LIKE ACTUALLY I THINK IM GONNA BE BY MYSELF LIKE HUH? WHAT??

LIKE yeah i'm fine with characters being bitches and not growing but its the fact that they keep SHOWING him having the potential for growth like its so fucking frustrating because its THERE. THE GROWTH IS RIGHT THERE HE COULD DO IT BUT HE CHOOSES NOT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he's so fucking hypocritical when it comes to guillermo like!! this isnt even about nandermo anymore its so hard being a nandor stan because every time he gets some modicum of development he's like "how can i be a bigger cunt for no reason :))"

like how did laszlo have more character development than him - laszlo who routinely dodges his problems and fucks people over and is a huge asshole to everyone including his own wife who he loves more than anything literally became so much of a better person this season and nandor is this seasons biggest fucking bag of dicks?? laszlo who fucked guillermo over so fucking hard in the s3 season finale who did the worst thing possible and somehow NANDOR managed to one up him MULTIPLE TIMES this season. how do you do that how HOW and i love laszlo too but you gotta get what i'm saying right like its fucking ridiculous

like i wanna see what happens in s5 but i'm honestly losing hope for any semblance of "nandor learns his lesson and actually makes an attempt to be even a slightly better person" like nandermo becoming canon in s5 has a higher chance of ocurring over nandor being decent for longer than 15sec

#wwdits #wwdits spoilers #long post

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pawtistics · 2 years

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SUNKISS tell me abt yr ocs *wags tail

HII YAAAY HI <33 IM VERY EXCITED ABT THIS ive been fixating on them very much recently but augh which ones to CHOOSE !! i think ill go w lyla + co since i Just. posted her

IM DOING THIS ENTIRELY BY MEMORY N JUST FOR FUN so i might not get the more nuanced details but Hi. SO!! the story focuses mainly on saige and lyla!! Saige is lyla’s bf!! He iz a bigender butch bisexual ^u^ He/they. Lyla is a transfem xenogender femme lesbian who uses she/doll/🍓/🫐!! ANDDD also saige has a younger sibling Mylo who uses xe/xir :3 i havent decided xir specific identity but xe’s in a very lesbian relationship and i 🧡 xir partners .. i will not get into them unless asked cuz they dont play a huge role here . Potential sequel material ig 💗🧡💛💚💙💜

Saige + mylo have Shitty parents and thats a whole thing but one of the main parts of the story is !! this lil game that they play as a coping mechanism — where theyve kind of assigned each other a signature creature and will . Joke around in that space?? refer to each other as such? It’s . a nice family thing just for them alone IM ALWAYS VERY BAD AT EXPLAINING IT EVERY TIME 💔 but .. siblings :] Saige is a ghost n mylo is an alien

Lyla and saige r pitted against each other (← used lightly) @ school cuz of their “opposite aesthetics” Which they rlly rlly dont ….get?!?! Whats opposite abt them . Something something that meme where it says u have more in common w someone who wears all pink/all black than someone w a “plain” style. YKNOW.,,, and so they get to talking a bit more and i haven’t decided how they begin dating yet but they do and i love them so fuckin much 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Lyla , after being accepted by mylo ofc, gets her own gimmick and becomes the princess :D BUT UHJNKBJG. Eventually she realizes shes nonbinary n sort of goes spiraling :[ Saige n lyla r both autistic BTW (probably all the others too ❤️ but this is whats important Naow). And lyla doesnt like change a whole lot, she doesnt want things to be Different with this family that she has now, despite not feeling very comfortable w the princess label anymore ,,and shes not very comfortable in her identity as a whole INCLUDING da autism

it’s !!! a journey for sure but lyla is so unconditionally loved n supported and she really comes into her own and accepts her passions and interests and weird gender feelings !!!! Starts dressing up VERY cool as well which is highly important 💛💛 she loves fun fruit patterns (SPECIAL INTEREST - i have to learn so many fruit facts on her behalf im working on it.)

saige gets the means to move out nd takes mylo w him. eventually lyla joins them :3 even more eventually, when xe’s ready, mylo moves out w all the support in the WORLD from the lovebirds. And then theyre having this conversation,, like

It turns out saige’s ghost gimmick was 99% based on his dissociation that they didn’t really know was a Thing, but therapy n support n time away from parents he’s a lot better now! ♡ i havent decided his new gimmick, but it’s different ♡♡

lyla’s gimmick has shifted to like,, a mixture of things instead of one Solid identity and it makes her so much happier, very freeing, very Fun and indicative of the things she loves!!!!!!!!!!!! Fruit bat ..vampire..funny little colorful friend :] YOUKNOW!! ❤️❤️💙💙 goddd i love her so much shes ymmbaby

AND THEN MYLO. MYLO was the ONLY one to stick to xir og gimmick. Xe’s adored neon green xir whole fucking life. (OH N both sibs r punk ofc it isn’t all abt fashion but in those terms saige is more casual and mylo goes ALL OUT .) so they get to talking, joking, as mylo is moving out — this tender lil heartfelt conversation where saige is kind of awed and feeling fond,, like,,,, how did you do it? how did you keep such a strong sense of self all that tiem (even back there)? AND MYLO CITES having rlly supportive lesbian parents . And it takes a second for the couple to process but they really really cry Whbjbhjgmfk .. !!!!!! ITS JUST SO . I HEART THEM

THIS IS SO LOOONG BUT THATS THEM THATS MY BAYBIES…BMBJN,GLFD,MBV,

theyre so ❣️💖💕💖💗💗💖 THANK U BTW !!! AWAWA

#🍎#ask to tag

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chamoycin · 8 months

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10/19 - HEAVY WEEK.. FINALS WRAPPING UP

AOUGH.... so .... finals ar upon me, and so are,. the deadlines. OHHHHH THE DEADLINES. Buckle up folks, lets go over some heavy lifting from this beautiful stressful ~finals week(s)~

SO, im wrapping up my second month of the first semester, and all things considered, i think im doing good...! but man, im still stumbling left anf right here with some things .... augh T_T

like first off, my transportation from school to home has become a HEADACHE and a half, lemme tell ya. So , theres this free service my uni lets students use for transportation. You can book a seat on a van for free, and get picked up at a bus stop thats on a route near your home. From there you get to and from school, and SURE, sounds easy enough rihgt!1!??!?! well, booking for MORNING trips is easy enough, but oh my god, afternoon trips are IMPOSSIBLE to come by now. they fill up so quick!!! it literally stresses me out so much ToT And like,i have alarms set for when they SHOULD open up, but the moment they open up for me theyre just GONE :( idk what to do, but spending money on Uber so much stresses me out... they dont cost any more than like, 10 bucks when the traffic isnt congested as hell, but STILL, say thats 50 bucks per week, thats just too much man!!!

anyways, not to even MENTION the documents i havent even been able to turn in at the school offices. because of that, i havent been able to see my grades at all..... now, i know what i got in like 3 classes, but the rest im just taking calculaed GUESSES. not that they should be low, but, yknow..... that lil doubtful voice inside me says, WHAT IF YE GOT 70 IN THE REST OF THE CLASSES HRMMMM?!?!?

Well anyways, this month im not really feeling like im doing bad either. Ive gotten past the first month stress haze of uni, and i think im acclimating a bit better. probs should invest in energy drinks though, im getting pretty tired nowadays :"D

so.... other than THAT! on my list of to dos, i gotta:

-make my halloween comeback to instagram

-finish up 2 commissions

-work on my website again so i dont get rusty coding!!!

-add a theme for this blog! and maybe revamp my main too PFFT

if i had more energy like i did when i was 16, surely id do it all now .... :"D but hey! im slowly working back to it i suppose. this year sure has been... SOMETHING, but i gotta keep going, dudes!

anyways, thats all for this weeks update :D i gotta go check when i can build my schedule for the next semester, aybe ill stay up today too, who knows!!! blehhhh :P

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tsuncoon · 5 years

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Can a Skeksis cry pt 2

I went off the rails and wrote way too fucking much ahah enjoy

SkekGra kept running , the further he got the more it pained him to be apart from urGoh. It felt like an elastic band was stretching thin, pulling him back to his other, his better half.

He just needed to get away from the whispers and the looks. His breathing rasped, it was like he was swimming against the tides. He could not remember the last time he had been so far from Urgoh, probably while he was still the Conqueror.

If the Conqueror could see what he had become, it was funny to think just how strongly he would oppose the path taken, how he would likely stop ar nothing to ensure this future would not be his. Yet here he was. Suffering the fate the other Skeksis refuse to endure.

He let out a loud and frustrated wail as he tugged on his fluffy mane, he hoped Thra was proud of itself for giving him the vision and making him suffer so, it was a just punishment for his crimes.

SkekGra’s fur bristled as he heard a twig snap near by, over the years he had let his senses dull while he was isolated with only himself. He hadn’t realized by smell or sound that anyone else was in the immediate area.

“Hmmmm old friend? Is that you?”

SkekGra recognized the curious humming

“Chamberlain” he breathed in surprise, the last time he saw another Skeksis he ended up with a knife through his hand. He was not sure if the Chamberlain came as a friend or foe. SkekGra certain did not want to fight another Skeksis, but if he must then he would without hesitation.

“Call Skeksil, we were once friends yes?”

SkekGra was once loyal to all of his kind, there was a strong sense of skeksishood, an unspoken bond tethered together by loyalty and a desire to not be alone, he could feel that bond even now. He recognized that no one could understand him the way another Skeksis could, not even UrGoh as much as he tried, they were opposites while he and the Skeksis were the same.

He felt great longing as he recalled his time in the castle, but those fleeting happy moments in the days of early Skeksis rule would always be soured by his fall to Heretic.

Distinctly he remembered the Chamberlain murmuring into the ears of their companions, and their emporor. These mutterings made expressions towards SkekGra grew colder and more suspicious By the day. He wondered what lies SkekSil had told them to make them distrust him so, or maybe he did not need to lie at all.

“No, I don’t think you were ever my friend" SkekGra admitted somberly, it saddened him to say it out loud, he was a fool to have thought otherwise back then.

The Chamberlain hummed “Could be friends now, I could help Heretic earn place black in palace. Be Conqueror again, in need of your talents times of war" Chamberlains hands were at his sides, very calm and open.

“No" he declined without an ounce of hesitation “I would never--"

“Conqueror once would never betray own kind” SkekSil interrupted “your loyalty is wavering! Cannot be trusted by Gelfling”

SkekGra’s expression must have revealed just how much that hurt him, since the Chamberlain smiled and continued on that line of discussion. “how long hmmm till selfish heretic betray gelfling for own desires like betrayed Skeksis?” his words were full of judgment and malice.

“Maybe you’re right…” SkekGra said quietly “I am a Skeksis after all.”

The agreement made the Chamberlin confused, he hadn’t expected the other to agree with him so easily.

He walked closer to SkekSil “If anyone stands in my way, be it a Skeksis or a gelfling, I will run them through with my talons" he was looming over him, standing close. His eyes dared SkekSil to pull that blade he had hidden on him.

SkekSil watched the fiery anger in the Heretics eyes, recognizing them as the Conquerors. He could see now that while his name changed his intensity still burned as strong as ever, unfortunately that fire which was once used as a weapon for the Skeksis empire now threatened to burn down the Skeksis throne.

“You are fool!” SkekSil hissed “When Urskek whole Urskek will try to purify self again! SkekGra wont come back as Skeksis, Urskek will destroy SkekGra to become a pure self!”

“I will not make that mistake again” SkekGra stated confidently, he and Urgoh made that mistake once, he was certain they would not repeat it.

“Heretic may think so, but Urskek cannot go home with Skeksis half, too impure!” SkekSil had a point and SkekGra knew it, even when combined they would still be stuck here, forever outcastes from their kind because of him…

“I would rather spend the rest of my days together as one than separated and alone"

SkekSil pressed his beak together into a hard angry line. An annoyed groaning echoed from his throat.

“aahh" Skekgra hissed, grabbing his wrist to see dull teeth marks appearing on the back of his hand.

“Urgoh..” he looked to the Chamberlin suspiciously, if he was here.. that means the Grathim…

SkekGra glared towards Chamberlain, he should kill the other… he hated the Skeksis almost as much as he hated himself. Still, he could not blame them, he understood their motivations, he once thought the same way they did. They were just as incomplete and hopeless to control their instincts ass he was.

“If I see you again, SkekSil, I will kill you quickly to spare UrSol any suffering" he promised. Although it pained him to kill a being as hopeless as a Skeksis he couldn’t be weak, sacrifices would have to be mmade.

SkekGra didn’t look back, he took the fasted form of travel, through the trees, lunging through the branches. Running towards Urgoh he suddenly moved much more quickly as the strain between them lessened.

UrGoh had followed SkekGra from the gelfling building, but he was too slow to keep up once his half ran into the trees. To make chase was a lost cause.

UrGoh frowned as he watched him go. He should not have left SkekGra alone knowing how negative his thoughts could get when his mind was not stimulated and distracted.

The Skeksis got an unenviable amount of emotion in the split, as only half of one being it was to much for SkekGra to bear at times.

Urgoh sat on a large mossy log, content to wait there for his other half until he was ready to return; Urgoh was after all very patient. He closed his eyes and began to meditate barely having time to find tranquility before a curious voice called for him.

“A mystic.. so the rumors were true” the gelfling sounded by intrigued by its discovery. “you are from off world right?”

UrGoh slowly opened his eyes and his mouth “….yes"

“What is it like outthere?” I’ve never met someone from a different planet before, till now I’ve never known they existed!”

“o…ne.. p…re…s…pe…ct..ive… do…es.. not…”

The gelfling looking on awkwardly, he had expected a long answer, but not like this.

“….p….a..int… a..n… a..cc…ur…ate…. Pi…c..t..u..re"

The gelflings ears fell in disappointment, such a long wait for a non answer.

“Well, what’s the picture you paint?”

“…..” UrGoh breathed out deeply in contemplation of the question. He was not sure he could even say. His memories were foggy and incomplete, they had been split with SkekGra, and without the other here to help put the missing parts together, his memories were a nonsensical mess.

“…h…o…me… wa…s.. n…ic…e" he didn’t know what else he could say to ease the little gelflings curiosity. Homeworld was like nothing a gelfling could understand, every bit of it was different in every regard, down to its cells and atoms. They were made up of different things, from galaxies unlike anything comprehensible.

Urgoh’s eyebrows lowered sadly, he could feel SkekGra had gone quite a distance.

“Maybe I’ll ask Augrah…” the gelfling entwined their fingers nervously, the Mystic seemed lost in his own world, staring ahead at the trees. Urgoh didn’t even notice the little gelfling run off when a commotion began to erupt around them.

A few of the gelfling that had gone ahead of the group to scout were running back with their voices high in alarm. “The Garthim! They’ve arrived!”

“What!?” Breas voice was heard near by, along with the shattering of pottery, it would seem these monsters were faster than they appeared, and had caught up with them so quickly.

“They are closing in fast! We have to get out of here and meet up with the oth-AUGH!!” a large claw wrapped around the gelfling before flinging it through the air with all its force.

UrGoh lifted his hand to his mouth, he bit down strongly into his flesh. He did not bleed but there was a noticeable teeth pattern imprint.

The mystic stood up from his log to surprise Brea when he was suddenly behind her “qu…I…ck..ly.. w..e mu..st.. get… to.. saf…ety" he urged

“I have to warn everyone first!” She had to take charge of the panic and usher everyone to safety, it is what her mother would have done. “Our injured will need help leaving!” She ran towards the old tree that acted as a shelter for those previously injured by the Skeksis and their monsters.

She ran past Rian holding back one of the beasts, its claws were powerful enough to snap a sward in two, its hide impenetrable. All he could do was avoid its attacks, and pray to Thra it would not land one.

“RIAN! Hold on a little longer!” she hoped her words would keep him going. She ran against the crowd, arriving at the medical tent where the healthy gelfling were attempting to hurry the injured to safety, but it was a slow process as many could not be moved so roughly.

Brea was quick to help up a gelfling who had lost his leg. “Come on now, time to go" she tried to sound her least frightened.

“princess.. you are too important to lose.. please.. leave me. I am no longer helpful to the rebellion"

“Nonsense!” she spoke in anger “no one will be left behind! Your life has worth, I owe you this debt for fighting alongside us" she assured, putting his hand around her shoulder, her other hand held his hip as they slowly waddled to the door.

The tree they were inside shook, debris falling from the ceiling. She was quick to cover the poor man, coughing as they both inhaled the dirt.

Outside she suddenly heard… silence

It had been a while since SkekGr ahad climbed and leaped through the foliage of Thra, it was much easier to grip than the stones that made up his home at the circle of the sun and the caves of Grot.

When SkekGra arrived he could see Garthim closing in on a small group of gelfling soldiers attempting to hold it back while others flee.

SkekGra pushed himself off a branch, launching at the horrific beetle monster with the dead purple gaze.

The gelfling shrieked “The Skeksis are here!!” they felt now that they were truly doomed.

One lone gelfling was trapped in the creatures claws, screaming and refusing to accept his imminent death. Just as the monster intended to snap the gelfling in two SkekGra intercepted, grabbing the attackers claw and forcing it open, the unharmed gelfling dropped to the ground, surprised but thankful.

The Garthims other claw stabbed into SkekGras side, but his years sustaining injury helped him fight through the pain. Even as felt warm ooze dripping down his side. From this he gathered that the Garthim were not smart enough to go for vital parts of the body, they relied on brute force to end the fight. But against a Skeksis hoping to win with brute force was not a good strategy.

SkekGra’s talons dug deep, piercing the hard shell of the monsters claw before swinging his arms enough to throw the beast over his shoulder and smashing the beetle into the dirt floor.

The gelfling who once trembled watched, astonished by the display of power, most of them had heard of Skeksis might, but had never witnessed it for themselves.

There was a reason so few Skeksis managed to control so many gelfling and creatures of Thra, their power was other worldly.

The monster struggled on it’s back until SkekGra stomped on its head until the purple light in its eyes drained.

The surrounding gelfling looked down to the felled beast. Due to the damage it had sustained the abomination began to unravel and fall apart.

SkekGra had left before the gelfling had a chance to speak. He put pressure to his wound as he ran against the crowd, he would never admit it to anyone but it was a challenge to avoid stepping on the little gelflings when they scurried around like this.

He spotting Rian dancing with one of the Garthim, he watched curiously, knowing better than to steal a kill.

“Where is UrGoh?” he inquired very loudly

“Little busy here!” Rian grunted, throwing himself to the floor to avoid being struck, only now he found himself in a vulnerable position, laying in the dirt.

SkekGra moved between Rian and the Garthim, he did not like to ruin another’s fun but felt it was appropriate to step in. Grabbing the dark creations clawed arm he ripped the appendage out of its socket, a trench of bile opened, splattering on those who got too close. As the bloody fluid emptied the reanimated being became nothing but a husk like the last one.

SkekGra put out his hand to help the little gelfling rise. Rian breathed a sigh of relief, glad to have been saved in the nik of time. “I am afraid I don’t know where UrGoh is. Aren’t you always with him?”

“We don’t always have to be together. It’s a choice" he rebutted, feeling a little insulted at Rians assumption that he was so dependent, maybe he was just defensive because it was true.

“We will find him. You’re alive so he must be fine” Rian reasoned. He had spotted another beetle monster scurrying towards a hollowed out tree that acted as a safe haven for gelfling to hide.

“Help me to push these guys back enough so the others can escape"

“Push them back? Gelfling with talk like that you will never beat the Skeksis. Were going to kill them" SkekGra said, rather aggressively stealing a sward from a trembling gelfling soilder.

Weak, he would never had allowed such a gelfling in his ranks before, but now days he didn’t have the luxury of choosing who fought. Everyone who could had to stand against the Skeksis.

Rian was a little hesitant to get chose to SkekGra, it was like a switch went off and the Skeksis was a totally different being. He seemed so.. combative. He was clearly looking for a fight.

With a large smile SkekGra bounded towards the fight shirking loudly like a war cry. He ran head first into one of the Garthim, pushing it far back, away from the rest so they’re attacks out be out of sync. He knew better than to take on too many at once, he needed to separate them first.

It had been so long since he last gripped a sward, this one was so light it felt like wielding a feather but he was energized none the less, lashing and cutting the blade through the east with his great power. The sward was left with dent after dent, too flimsy to withstand the impact of blade against the Garthim shell.

With his hands he tore the Garthims legs from its body, then proceeded with the other limbs until it was lifeless like the rest. Still SkekGra took out some pent up frustrations on the beast, thinking it was probably the only thing as monstrous as he was.

He flinched when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder then turned to see UrGoh standing there next to him.

“I..t….I….s .. D…o…ne…” UrGoh urged his Skeksis counterpart away from the bloody pulp that was the monsters body.

He noticed his better half had very bloody knuckles, immediately he grew concerned that he had been attacked before realizing it was his own over zealous attacking that had damaged both their bodies.

SkekGra clenched his blood covered fists “..I hurt us again" he whispered very shamefully, getting a sympathetic look from the mystic “I…d..I..dn..t… e..v…en.. f…ee..l.. I…t.” UrGoh gave him an understanding pat on the shoulder and smiled.

As the adrenaline left his body SkekGra noticed the gelfling that had surrounded them, drawn in by the commotion.

SkekGra suddenly felt very exposed. He imagined he must look even more terrifying then he had before, covered in blood and allowing them to see a suppressed violent side to him.

“Heretic that was amazing! I didn’t know you had it in you!” Rian said excitedly and out of breath. He and a small army of gelfling were able to handle the other Grathim.

“What is going on here?” Brea walked towards her Skeksis friend, handing the injured soilder to a vapran herbal master to aid him.

“The Heretic took out two Grathim all on your own!”

“Three!” a Drenchen gelfling from earlier shouted, the very one SkekGra has pried from the beast at first arrival. “I had my doubts about you Heretic, but I am glad to have you on our side"

SkekGra was surprised by the warm reception he was getting.

“you know what this means?!” an unnamed gelfling shouted from the crowd “Were saved!” the chatter was rising along with excitement levels.

“He can be our secret weapon against the Garthim!”

“He can take the Skeksis head on!”

“I am glad he is on our side!”

“SkekGra the good!” the gelflings cheered and chanted. SkekGras eyes were wide, they weren’t afraid. They liked him.. despite being a Skeksis and all the pain he and his kind had caused.

He knew his nature, knew he was capable of horrible things. He would use his strength to help the gelfling he once conquered and with their help become closer to one day being whole.

#skeksis #SkekGra #skeksil #urgoh the wanderer #skekgra and urgoh #urgoh #the wanderer #the Conqueror #the heretic #the good #the dark crystal #dark crystal #brea #rian

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dylanobrienisbatman · 4 years

Text

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. don’t cheat. tag 10 (or however many) peeps.

*I’ve done this before, but ive been watching some new shows and i wanna do it again! I was tagged by @nightbleeder and @blodreina-noumou a while ago love you both <3*

1 - 12 Monkeys

2 - Sex Education

3 - The Magicians

4 - His Dark Materials

5 - The Expanse

1. who is your favorite character in 2?

My fave Sex Education character is probably... Aimee. i love her, shes such a sweetie

2. who is your least favorite character in 1?

Ohhh so far i dont really know. i didn’t like jennifer but now shes so interesting. cassie in season 2 has been kind of irritating but it seems like theyre bringing her back around... i’d say Deacon... or Ramse when he was being... the worst.

3. what is your favorite episode of 4?

I LOVED the Daemon Cages ep, and The Lost Boy.

4. what is your favorite season of 5?

Season 2!! I loved the Mars v Earth plot, all of Bobbies stuff, the beginning of the expansion of the protomolocule, its so good

5. who is your favorite couple in 3?

I love love love Penny and Julia

6. who is your favorite couple in 2?

Tbh i dont ship many of the ‘ships’ in the show, but i did enjoy Ola and Lily this season

7. what is your favorite episode of 1?

i loved the timeloop episode, and i really enjoyed the episode where they went back to the 40′s, but im only into s2 so far!

8. what is your favorite episode of 5?

.... this is a hard one... i love the episode where bobbie runs into the UN safe zone and request asylum, the whole episode building to that is great

9. what is your favorite season of 2?

Season 2 was EXCEPTIONAL

10. how long have you watched 1?

I just started it a couple weeks ago, and im on season 2, its so good

11. how did you become interested in 3?

Tumblr, and also i love Stella Maeve so i went looking to watch her.

12. who is your favorite actor in 4?

Augh, absolutely James McAvoy, or Ruth Wilson

13. which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

I’d say 5, but that may change based on how 1 finishs up or how 2 continues when s2 airs.

14. which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3 ?

i’ve seen every episode of 3, so definitely 3

15. if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Oh Lyra, wouldn’t we all ? that or maybe a lee scorsby esc character

16. would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

i’d usually say no but The Magicians can do anything so who the fuck knows

17. pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple.

i dont really ship much aside from cassie x cole, so idk. but the plot is so good that i dont watch for the ships really

18. overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

they have great storylines within their genre. the expanse is one of the best sci fi stories ive ever seen, and it really leans on a mixture of realism and actual science coupled with the futuristic space travel stuff you need, but the magicians is excellent magical storytelling plus a really great absurdity element that they play into SO well. i’d have to say the expanse but the magicians is excellent.

19. which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

HDM HDM FOR SURE ITS SO GOOD.

tagging: @thelittlefanpire @justbecauseyoubelievesomething @blodkru @the-most-beautiful-broom @happyeyesandsunshine and anyone else who wants to play

#the magicians #12 monkeys #the expanse #his dark materials book spoilers #sex education

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jflashandclash · 6 years

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Traitors of Olympus IV: Fall of the Sun

Eighteen: Thalia

Love Bites (But Not Literally!)

Saying Thalia’s insides felt jumbled would be like saying you might want to wear sunglasses if you’re going to look directly at Apollo’s chariot during his peek time.

They finished up their separate forts. Axel had removed their door barrier and tried the door a few times to see how thoroughly the Lemnians had barred it. Considering they heard something being bolted into the door, she imagined facing these creeps was becoming more and more of a heroic task set out for two other heroes, maybe child of Hephaestus or Athena. She wished Annabeth were here. She could think of the tragedy the children of Dionysus would write about them now, titled: Lieutenants of Artemis and Kronos, Murdered by a fandom.

They discussed pretending to have fallen in love with Phil and Hypsi. Thalia even tried, excited by the prospect of wringing the guys’ neck. Apparently, such inspiration made her flirtation come across as disingenuous and “homicidal” to Hypsi and Phraxa. Pft. They’d never flirted at a concert before.[1]

So, Axel and Thalia sat on either side of half-a-massage table (that had been split in half for makeshift shields) with a sheet from the cabinet pinned to the ceiling as high as Axel—with his six foot Oh-My-Gods inches—could reach.

Not that Thalia found his height attractive, but being around preteen girls didn’t lead to the most vertically advantaged tent making.

Earlier, Thalia had been pondering out how to tell Euna that Artemis said girl-to-girl relationships were still a no-go, something that both made Thalia happy—since girl-to-girl romances should still be considered romances and taken seriously—but also disappointed, since Thalia was interested in Euna and wasn’t sure how she felt about potential loopholes. That already left the Lieutenant of Artemis questioning her feelings on being a huntress.

Of course, she was terrified for Euna. Euna had seemed… broken when they spoke at Camp Half-Blood, and—despite Axel’s assurance that time moved differently here—time could also be moving differently on whatever path that psychotic talking head was taking Euna.

“Time,” Thalia demanded.

There was a small tear in the sheet where the ends met the top of their table divider, making a tiny hole in their oh-so-impenetrable wall. Axel hesitated, then slipped his hand through, so his wrist was visible.[2]

Like last time, she kept telling herself it was to check to see how far away Euna could have gotten. It was, she growled angrily, eyes flicking to that stupid half-empty glass of pink liquid before looking back to their divider.

This was not to look at his hand or touch it.

His index and middle finger were missing most of his nail. Although the healing springs must have cleaned up the blood and wound, it was weird to see a fingertip with scarred skin instead of a nail, especially with how long, sharp, and feline his other nails were. (When checking the time previously, she’d made him lower the Mist on his fingers, since she accidentally cut herself on one.)

That must have hurt way more than he feigned.

Thalia took his hand to twist his wrist into better view. She wanted to annoy him, to make him complain that she was being childish or bratty, to get into an argument and agree how much they disliked each other.

He was in mid-comment, “—ventilation shafts are way too small to squeeze through.” He did little more than grunt when she bent his arm further. “No secret passages found on your side?”

Stupid Axel with all of his stupid plans and ability to stay focused.

“Nope, fresh out of secret passages. Any other brilliant ideas?” she snapped, hoping it sounded mean instead of desperate.

Eleven minutes had passed. Thalia’s head felt like it was swimming. This feeling could get worse? Hypsi said this would become unbearable in fifteen minutes!

His laugh sounded pained. “Thalia—”

“Lieutenant,” she tried to distance their names, but felt like her comment had come out weaker than she wanted.

“Maybe it’s because Luke told me how you used to flirt with him, but you’re really bad at pretending to hate me.”

Thalia growled in anger, “I told you that I didn’t drink that stupid potion—“

Axel squeezed her hand. Her heartbeat skipped to see that they’d enlaced their fingers, without her even realizing they were moving. His calluses were rough, like hers and the gentle pinch of his remaining claws was comforting, reminding her of the cute paws on Artemis’ silver wolf pack.

The wolf pack.

The Hunt.

A dulled sense of panic made her tremble.

“Thalia,” Axel said gently, “Even without… current circumstances—” She could hear him squirm on his side of the table. “—we’re still friends. You pretending to hate me or be mad at me isn’t going to help. Though… you might undo the healing spring’s work if you keep bending my wrist like that.”

He tapped his two fingers without nails against the top of her hand.

“I don’t have to pretend to be mad at you,” she whispered, glaring at his hand. She tried not to think about how he was seated on the other side. They’d agreed to stay on opposite sides of the rooms. That worked when they were searching around for other potential exits. Also without intending to, they both sat as close as possible once they were done searching.

Thalia clenched the grip on her bow with her other hand. Axel had instructed her to shoot him with a knock-out arrow if he tried to come to her side of the room, with the warning that he’d had much more of the potion than she had. But, what if she came to his side of the room? Would he be able to fend her off when he’d run away from Hypsi like a little kid?

Not that she would admit to drinking any of the potion. Or having any problems. She just wanted to go over there and sock him in his dumb, ruggedly handsome face for almost dying by the hands of a hidden monster and almost drowning and getting them into this mess.

“Axel,” she said.

“Leonis Caput,” he offered.

After hearing his chuckle, she realized he was teasing her for the “Lieutenant” thing. “Shut up,” she said.

“Yes, Lieutenant.”

“I’ll break your wrist.”

“I’m sure you will.”

She rolled her eyes. “You asked about why I didn’t side with you guys, uh, during the Titan War.”

“Yes…” his voice was soft again.

Thalia frowned. She wished she could play with her choker, but knew she should keep her hand on her bow.

“When I woke up from being a tree, Percy was the first person I saw. He brought me back. He and Annabeth updated me on the years I’d missed and taught me how to be a person again. They told me about how Luke had sold his soul to evil or whatever. Camp Half-Blood was the first safe place, outside—outside of being with Luke and Annabeth… that I could call home. It was safe. Before that, I was always running and hiding, either from my mom or other monsters…”

She took in a shaky breath. “Even if I wanted to fight against my dad, or how the gods treated their children, Luke’s path wasn’t the way to do it, and I couldn’t turn my back on my new family. How would you feel if Pax joined Camp Half-Blood?”

“I’ve been trying to convince him to for months now,” Axel said, sounding defeated. “As he’ll tell you, he’s like a parasite that’s impossible to get rid of. And he knows I’ll never join Camp Half-Blood.”

“You guys are so weird,” she said and sighed. “You won’t join Camp Half-Blood, but you’d become a hunter or join the legion?”

“The legion was different…”

Thalia felt a spike of resentment tighten her chest. She knew for whom Axel wouldn’t mind compromising his beliefs. Normally it made her happy to think of Reyna finding a guy who properly cared about her…

“And I still think being a hunter would be incredible,” he said.

She snorted. “How long before you fell in love with Lady Artemis?”

“With you around?” he teased. She could see the sheet tremble as the shadow of his other hand traced the cloth. Then he flinched and withdrew his hand. “Sorry. This is…” He cleared his throat. “Difficult.”

Thalia felt her cheeks get red. “At least our wall has a hole in it.”

“Yes, so we can plan our escape,” he said with that same hint of amusement from earlier.

“Our super successful escape that doesn’t result in us being captured by non-combat creeps,” she grumbled. “Augh, this is just embarrassing.” Thalia checked the time again, groaned, and pressed her face against their enlaced hands.

Axel let out a soft noise. “Thalia, don’t…”

“Hey.”

“Mm?”

“It’s been thirteen minutes,” she said. While she knew time was moving faster in their section of Tartarus—or the Labyrinth?—than outside, it felt like Kronos was making each second take forever as one last middle finger to Thalia—or at least a slow moving “second” finger.

Axel swore under his breath. She could hear him pop his cheeks, a cute, self-conscious noise. His nails dug into her hand for a tense moment, piercing her skin, before he released her and stood up. His silhouette loomed behind the sheet, the shadow of his ears perked and alert.

“Axel?” she asked uncertainly, lifting her bow.

“I’m going to try to get them to open that door,” he said, lowering his voice. He picked up the second half of the table—propped alongside the one they’d been leaning against—and lifted it up as a shield. Thalia flinched as a piece of their boundary line disappeared. “This is around the time they thought we’d break, and, even if they don’t believe you with Phil, Hypsi seems to think I looked at her.”

Axel took a step forward. With the second half of the table gone and the sheet too short to touch the floor, his feet and the animalistic arches of his calves came into view. Thalia could feel her heartbeat pounding in her head. She thought about the humanoid monsters she and the other girls tracked down.

Before she could stop herself, she asked, “Axel, do you think you could survive if a huntress hunted you as prey?”

He stepped to the edge of the sheet and half-peered around with a devilish smile. “After we get out of here, you’ll have to find out, huntress, won’t you?” His golden eyes glistened. “I should warn though, it’s hard to force a predator to stay prey.”

Axel began to push the sheet back and froze. One of his towels was coiled around his shoulders, the other wrapped around his waist. Now that she was looking at it, the spa garb and table-shield made him seem weirdly domesticated, like Disney decided he looked too militaristic with his lion pelt and leather skirting and replaced them with some last minute, bad CGI cover-ups. She found herself staring—as she’d struggled not to before—at the horrific scarring along his hip and that annoying V indent of muscle along his abdomen.

Stuff Thalia might have typically observed with the same interest as a math review book, at least as a huntress. That’s what she kept reminding herself, though his presence made it difficult not to think about how attractive she’d found Luke or Apollo before she joined the Hunt.

Axel cleared his throat, puffed up his cheeks, popped them, and looked away. The hand he had on the sheet trembled. “Tha—Lieutenant. I need your help making this sound convincing.” His voice was low as he took a difficult step away from her, towards the door.

Thalia reflexively leaned forward. She was terrified to realize that she’d let go of her bow upon seeing him. She scooped it back up, slung her quiver over her shoulder, adjusted the towel she’d wrapped around her chest for extra coverage, and approached him as casually as possible.

Each step felt like it came with little Huntress of Artemis chastity road signs of Danger this way! and Hot Man Ahead! Proceed with Caution and maybe speed readers that just said SLOW DOWN in place of a mph.

Was he having as many problems as she was? He looked so calm.[3]

Keeping her bow between the two of them made Thalia shake with effort. This whole thing was so stupid!

“How can I help?” she choked out.

Axel was trying to keep his eyes on the door. His shoulder and back muscles quivered as much as his hands. He walked up to the entrance. “Assuming they open the door, we need to strike fast—”

“Yea, I know the combat plan, Cat Breath. How can I help with Hypsi?” she hissed.

“Stand here.” He vaguely gestured to the wall beside the door. A good tactical spot for sniping anyway.

Thalia complied, trying her hardest not to touch him as she got into position.

He chuckled painfully. “Normally, I don’t let emotionally compromised people go into battle.”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you serious right now?”

Again, Thalia told herself to wait on pummeling Axel until after the potion wore off. She had so much excess, pent-up energy, she was in perfect condition to wreck Phil and the Lemnians. Smashing people’s faces in was the perfect distraction from… this. Something to use as a strength and not to mark her as “comprised.”

“You’re not the one I’m worried about bursting into Mayan love poetry,” Axel said.

Thalia choked on a laugh. “You have Mayan love poetry memorized? Who are you? Apollo? Is there even that much of that?”

Thalia pictured Axel reciting a romantic haiku and giggled.

Axel mumble something in Mayan before saying, “Shut up.” His cheeks were bright red as he glared at the door. “Hypsi!” he called, much louder.

“Axel!” Thalia hissed wearily. He never said what else she could do to help.

Axel balled his fist, pressed it firmly against the doorframe closest to her, and leaned down until his head was about six inches from the door. With how he’d leaned down, if he turned to her, their faces would be at the same height. If he took one sidestep to the right, or if she ducked under his arm to tiptoe left, Axel’s arm would be positioned perfectly at the crook of her neck, and his face…

Thalia went silent. If her cheeks could get hotter, she was pretty sure they could melt the door down.

While they still weren’t touching, this was the closest they had stood since taking the potion. They’d agreed to keep more distance…

Thalia was annoyed to catch his cinnamon-chocolate scent.

“Don’t hit me until this is all over with,” he whispered, “Me crying out in pain or being interrupted might shatter the illusion.”

Shuffling sounded outside the door. There was some whispering. Thalia wondered what the Lemnians had been doing this whole time, though couldn’t focus on it while staring at how Axel had braced his arm.

“What?”

Hypsi’s voice was shaky, like she’d still been crying. If Thalia could have broken her eyes away from Axel, she’d have rolled them at the Lemnian’s tears. Sure, get really upset that a guy you tried to force to love you didn’t really love you. (Shocker.)[4]

Axel took a deep breath. “I know… we haven’t known each other well for very long,” he said, loud enough to project through the door, but quiet enough not to blow out Thalia’s ear drums. “And I know these emotions are sudden, and that… that I shouldn’t want you, that I shouldn’t feel this way… and that they’re coming from… from magic…”

Thalia wanted to flick Axel’s nose. Maybe she’d been out of the romantic business for a long time, but this didn’t sound the best way to woo a girl. When they got back to camp, she’d have to tell Piper and Calex to give him pointers, else he was doomed.

Then she noticed how his eyes kept trailing to her.

He wasn’t talking to Hypsi. Thalia swallowed. His arm was straining against the wall to keep from touching her, just like he was struggling not to keep eye contact.

“You were right. This… is unbearable. I’m slipping. I just want to touch you, to give you the hugs you never got when you were feeling insecure or vulnerable. To remind you of how amazing you are for handling all the incredible things that you brushed off as being part of your family, or being who you are. I know you don’t need me, and you already know you’re strong, but I…”

Axel’s voice broke.

Thalia’s stomach felt like it decided to dive into a trampoline park without her permission.

“Sorry,” Axel whispered to Thalia. His jaw clenched. While keeping his fist firmly against the door—as another barrier, Thalia realized—Axel leaned his head to the side, pressing his forehead to her shoulder.

Her breath caught. Thoughts clogged to a halt. She tried to think about Artemis, about her huntresses, the wolves, the camping, the wild, Luke—she tried to think about how much it hurt to have someone she loved so much betray her and become a monster—

She tried to remember this was one of her friends, someone Reyna had a thing for, someone she didn’t want the troops of Artemis to hunt down in vengeance and that didn’t need her death (by the hands of a vengeful goddess) on his conscience. What would she do if this were happening to a friend? Maybe one of her sister-huntresses reaching out for emotional support to get through some horrific trickery?

Thalia awkwardly patted Axel’s shoulder, in the best, most platonic there, there motion she could muster. And to not curl against him and ask for that hug, since she definitely didn’t want or need that.

And he’d been talking to Hypsi to get out of here. Not her.

Thalia glanced at his wrist. They were at the fifteen minute marker. For a startled moment, she realized her eyes felt warm and wet.

“Yes?” Hypsi said softly on the other side of the door.

“I need out of this room right now,” Axel’s voice was still soft, but it was enlaced with an inner, threatening growl.

Whispers erupted on the other side of the door. With how close she and Axel were, and how excited the Lemnians were talking, she could make out what they were saying.

“Phil! Phil! It worked!”

“I don’t know, Hypsi. What if he’s faking it like the girl?”

“No—that’s almost verbatim how Medea’s How To pamphlet said he’d feel. I mean—yea, he knows he drank the potion, and it came with the warning of amorous side effects may vary—“

“I don’t know…”

“You’re just sad the girl’s potion ended up being a dud.” That was Phraxa.

“Either that, or she just realized you’re too gross to like even with a love potion,” Hypsi’s voice was lighter, the tears were gone. She sounded hopeful.

Maybe this would work.

“Come on,” Phraxa continued. “The lightning rods are installed in the hallway, so the girl can’t hurt us. If he’s a Mayan sorcerer, he can’t perform magic without any fire. We’ve got the nets all set up. If they end up still rejecting us, we’ll just hack them into pieces and toss them into the river—”

Axel punched the door, making a thud loud enough to make Thalia jump.

“Hypsi, let me out. I can’t handle being in here any longer,” he said. The undertone of his voice took on that gravely quality.

Hypsi giggled. “Oh! He sounds impatient!”

“I’ll get the drill,” Phraxa said.

Thalia guessed the noncommittal grunt came from Phil. “Okay, fine. Everyone else, stand by to decapitate a hero if they come out fighting.”

There came a cheer from at least five or six other voices.

The door shuddered with the sound of some power tools.

Axel and Thalia released sighs of relief.

He turned his head to look up at her. They should have been getting ready to rush the Lemnians. They may have been outnumbered, but both Thalia and Axel agreed these weren’t exactly primed warriors. Even if they were, they’d rather go out fighting than be captured (again).

Ready to be decapitated? Axel mouthed, nuzzling against her shoulder. The hairs of his goatee tickled her skin, making her heart leap.

She wanted to tease Rather that than hear your Mayan poetry, but she couldn’t bring herself to tease him. Maybe to knock his lights out for all those… nice and horrifically inappropriate things he had said (though, only to trick Hypsi, right?) but she couldn’t do that yet since she needed him conscious for this fight.

The door gave a loud thump as it came loose from some exterior barrier. The knob jiggled.[5]

“Oh, jaguar warrior, you locked the door,” Hypsi sang.

Axel stood up straight, his eyes glistening with excitement. He squeezed Thalia’s shoulder and picked up his table-shield and makeshift table-leg-club.

Thalia felt like a normal girl would be offended by how easily he’d withdrawn from her shoulder, since the love potion must have taken full effect. However, Thalia could sense the same thing he could while she prepped her bow with an arrow: beating the snot out of these jerks would be the most romantic outing either of them could possibly go on at that moment.

Axel carefully unlocked the door. “Ready for me to take you, Hypsi?” he asked.

Thalia could see him choke back a laugh. She did the same at the double entendre.

What they saw when they opened the door was not what they were expecting.

One moment, they could see Hypsi standing there—looking relatively normal in her chiton, though she was now armed with two daggers—with two people in imposing mechasuits behind her. One held a crossbow trained on the door, the other held a net gun. Phil grumpily leaned against the wall, almost out of sight, gripping a sword.

Looking at the suits, their table-shields felt a little unprepared.

Before the door was open enough for Axel to lunge forward, someone down the hallway screamed in alarm.

A familiar voice let lose a crazed, boisterous laugh. “Trying to use love spells on me?”

The person in the mechasuit with the net gun repositioned to whatever bigger threat was down the hall.

Axel didn’t have a chance to take advantage of the distraction. A silver greyhound with ruby eyes slammed into the mechasuit, knocking Ms. Net Gun to the floor.

Before the person with a crossbow could fire at Argentum, Thalia shot a knockout arrow at the second mechasuit. While it didn’t damage the armor, it did ruin their aim, their cross-bolt harmlessly slamming into the wall.

The second mecha suit didn’t have a chance to reload as a golden greyhound knocked them to the floor.

At the same time as this onslaught, a golden bolt struck Hypsi’s shoulder from down the hall. She went rigid, noticed something, and sprinted out of sight, all while shouting, “Wait—fly! Your wings are so beautiful! Nothing could compare! My love for you, I must declare!”

Thalia was ecstatic that Axel hadn’t burst out like that.

Phil was half-way through drawing his sword when a tall boy with a black scarf and a red-and-black beanie nailed him over the head with one of the pink punch pitchers. The glass shattered, spilling the love potion all over Phil’s head. Before waiting to see if that was enough to take out the creepy Lemnian, Calex followed through with a solid punch to the side of Phil’s head.

Phil crumbled onto the floor.

Calex dusted off his hands on his Camp Half-Blood sweater and unslung his golden bow from his back. He beamed at Axel and Thalia. “Hallo! Lovely day to be seeing you in an inter-dimensional plane.”

He poked his head back into the hall to shout, “I win! You’ve gotta get rid of this rubbish.”

Clatters and panicked shouts came from the location.

Reyna just sounded annoyed when she spoke back. “There’s a lot of it,” she sighed, then, louder, “Aurum, to me! Argentum, stand guard!”

The golden greyhound took off down the hallway while the grey one stood by the door like one of the Lemnian sculpture sentinels. From the looks of it, one mechasuit wearer was unconscious and the other had crawled away.

Calex returned his grin to them. “We had a running bet on who would find you first and who would need to find your gear. The first bloke we threatened at the front said they were in two different places.”

Axel clapped Calex’s shoulder, beaming with—Thalia blinked—pride? Thalia suddenly felt like she was intruding on a moment where a commanding officer distinguishes a soldier for his bravery, or, really, a moment of bromance.

“Thanks, Calex. And you used to be worried that you wouldn’t be a commendable hero.”

Calex glanced away in pleased embarrassment, noticing Thalia. His eyes widened, and he glanced from Thalia to Axel. He took a step back, pointing between the two of them in confusion.

Thalia felt her chest constrict again. Yea, it was taking every fiber of her being not to walk up and bump her shoulder against Axel, but it shouldn’t have been that obvious. There was no way Calex could tell—

They were both mostly naked.

Thalia felt her cheeks go bright red again. Another boy on the Eye Gouging to-do list.

An understanding hit Calex, making him snap his fingers. “Ah, right. Love potion. But, how did you two—and why—?”

The smile fell off Axel’s face. “Fix us,” he hissed with more desperation than she’d ever heard from him.

Thalia felt dumb for forgetting who Calex’s father was.

Calex put a hand to his beanie, examining them. “Um, I’ve never… taken away someone’s—”

“Do it,” Thalia snarled, taking a threatening step towards Calex. The motion brushed her shoulder against Axel’s, sending a tingling sensation down her spine. Axel went rigid.

“Can’t you two…” Calex shrugged. “Wait it out?”

“No!” they both said at once. If they tried that, Axel would be spouting out Mesoamerican sonnets and she’d end up killing him, since there was only so much punching he could handle once she resorted to that to avoid hugging him. And to save his self-respect, since no one should know love poetry.[6]

Calex tentatively touched his bowstring, giving Axel a critical stare. “Aphrodite tried to seduce you, mate,” he said skeptically, “and you can’t handle a love potion?”

Thalia was about to yell at Calex to hurry up, but paused. “Is that why she cursed you?”

Axel frowned. “Better story to tell when we’re not under the influence.”

He turned back to Calex. “I hated Aphrodite, and she wasn’t a brave, beautiful punk warrior that I’d been told amazing stories about since I was fourteen,” Axel hissed. “And the Leonis Caput wanted to murder Aphrodite, not go on some weird date-hunt thing because he knows she’d be into it.”

Thalia’s head spun, trying to gauge how old Axel was and exactly how often he had conversations with a murderous cat-creature in his head. Good reason to join the huntresses of Artemis—when all the guys you like end up being partially possessed. “Luke had been telling you stories about me since you were fourteen?” she asked.

Axel puffed up his cheeks and popped them. When the jaguar warrior blushed, Calex looked like he couldn’t decide if this was hilarious or disturbing. “Right,” Calex said, pulling back his bowstring. “Let’s shoot you two.”

A burst of grey energy exploded to life on his bow. The volatile vortex tightened and solidified into a scarily thin, black metal arrow.

Calex paled. Sweat broke out on his brow as he struggled to pull the bowstring to full draw. He took aim, point blank, at Axel’s heart and paused.

Axel didn’t flinch. He kept his eyes locked on Calex’s. One of his hands slipped down to link a pinkie with Thalia’s.

This felt wrong. Thalia suddenly wondered if they should be reversing the potions effects or if the potion just wanted her to think—

“This is a bad idea,” Calex said, his arm shaking. “A leaden arrow might… might make you incapable of being friends. And…”

Calex dipped his point to the floor. Slowly, he relaxed his arm. The black arrow dissipated into smoke.

Argentum growled.

“Calex,” Axel said in a tone similar to the greyhound.

Thalia felt the same, wanting this over with. Not that it should matter, but the crashing down the hall had stopped.

Calex shook his head. “We can’t have you two hating each other on this trip. Let me try something else. I think I can… hyper accelerate the effects? It might make you feel like rubbish for a bit.”

Axel nodded. “Just… please don’t not shoot me this time.”

This time, when Calex drew his bow, the bolt was fiery white and gold, sparking madly. There was no hesitation or struggle in Calex’s stance. This seemed natural for him. He drew his bow and immediately fired.

Axel may have mentally prepared himself to be shot.

Thalia hadn’t.

The arrow split. The second half arched and struck Thalia in the chest.

For a moment, she thought Calex’s arrow would be fatal. Because the arrow had glistened like a mirage of light, she thought it wouldn’t hurt.

The force of the impact made Thalia stumble back. Her chest felt like someone had jammed a knife into the impact spot and twisted it to crack open her ribcage. Instead of going through her or vanishing like she thought the arrow would do, the arch of light liquefied and burrowed into the wound, like a flaming snake that wanted to fill her insides until they splintered.

Everything shook. Thalia felt like she’d been hit with a falling anvil. Emotions stuck on fast-forward: the months of seeming isolation with the huntresses, the guilt and shame of wanting to betray Lady Artemis and abandon the way she honored Zoe, her once-tranquil solitude turning into a maelstrom of loneliness and ache, finally reaching the catharsis of getting over Luke’s treachery while crumbling under the distance between she and Axel and the fact that they could never be together and the pain of knowing he only wanted her because of some stupid love potion and what could have happened if she’d joined Luke’s side of the war and the confusion and—

Thalia could hear Axel collaps to his knees.

She crumbled soon after.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. Thalia clutched at her chest, wishing she could tear the liquefied arrow out.

“Holy Maiden Artemis,” she gasped, “Love bites.”

From the brief glimpse she got of Calex, he had slung his bow over one shoulder, leaned against a wall, and folded his arms. “You two still want to thank me?” he asked, watching them—with some concern—withering in anguish.

Axel had curled into a ball, but managed to withdraw one hand for a thumps up. “Thank you,” he choked out.

Thalia nodded in begrudging agreement. She couldn’t imagine living all of that in real time.

The pain eased. Her breathing returned to normal as did her heartbeat. When she glanced over at Axel, she no longer had that annoying butterfly feeling or empty wanting. Instead, she saw an embarrassed friend straightening out of a crouched position with as much dignity as he could muster.

And fumbling to grab his towel when it slipped to the floor.

Thalia was relieved that her genuine reaction was, “Axel! Gross!”

Axel gave her a relaxed smile once he was covered. “Sorry to offend your eyes, huntress.” He stood fully and offered her a hand. “Things don’t need to be weird between us, right?”

Thalia snorted. She glanced at Calex, who had respectfully become engrossed looking down the hallway. She took Axel’s hand—glad again that it felt no different from taking that of a huntress—and said, “Just don’t tell anyone I gave you CPR, and we’re good.”

Axel blinked as he helped her to her feet. “You gave me CPR?”

Thalia scowled, feeling her cheeks redden form embarrassment that had nothing to do with the potion. He was joking, right? “You didn’t know!? Between the drowning and the electric shock—why do you think I’ve been calling you Cat Breath all day!”

After Hypsi and the others completely disarmed them, Thalia hadn’t trusted Hypsi or the others to touch Axel and her electrical surge was what made him need CPR. But—she thought he’d politely pretended not to remember.

“Is… my breath that bad?” Axel asked, cupping a hand over his mouth to check. He frowned self-consciously.

Thalia remembered his soft scent of spices and chocolate, but she wasn’t about to admit to that, especially after the day’s events. “Yes,” she said firmly.

“Leonis Caput, you need a tracking device on your clothing,” someone said from the doorway.

Thalia jumped when Reyna jammed Axel’s clothing, lion pelt, and weapons into his arms. He startled.

Reyna turned to Thalia. “Huntress,” she greeted, offering Thalia her clothing and weapons in a much gentler fashion. Aurum trotted up, proudly shouldering their supplies packs.

There was no anger in Reyna’s voice, but, from the scarily controlled tone and hardened expression, Thalia suspected Reyna knew everything that happened, or Reyna thought she did.

Thalia took a deep breath. Reyna wasn’t an idiot. If Thalia judged her humor correctly…

“I had to give Axel CPR because he got his ass kicked by a slime pup. Would you say Cat Breath is an appropriate nickname for him?”

A terrified moment of silence passed, but Thalia knew Reyna was awesome. There was no way—

Reyna’ face cracked into an appreciative smile. She looked relieved.

Axel looked mortified, clutching his towel to himself as Calex choked back a laugh. “I—um—”

“Get dressed, Cat Breath,” Reyna commanded. “We need to make up time in our hunt for Euna.”

“I—” Axel started.

Calex patted the stunned boy’s arm, then dragged him out the hallway to find a different changing room. “Looks like you’ve got a new name for the rest of the trip. Let’s see if it catches on the surface world.”

The moral of this story is, don’t consume food or drink from strangers in their creepy Grecian bathhouses. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

So Many Footnotes:

[1] Jack disclaimer: Depends on your concert. Metal heads? Utter gentlemen and gentleladies that know how to have a good brawl. Punk concerts? Prepare to be punched in the dick.

[2] Mel immediately called out what play-within-a-play this is referencing. Our conversation, “A lion keeping them apart.” “Despite wanting to be ly-ng on each other!” Pax *cry laughing* Jack *applauds Mel’s pun*

[3] MelBetaComment: “Just don’t look too far down.”

Jack: *ehem* “I can neither confirm or deny Mel’s assumption until I’m several oceans away from a certain Mayan warrior.”

[4] I’d like to think, “Shocker” is one of Thalia’s favorite expressions.

[5] Definitely wrote “the door knob giggled” in my original draft. Mel took it literally and was quite confused.

[6] False. Jack should know love poetry *wink*

#Percy Jackson and the Olympians #Heroes of Olympus #Traitors of Olympus #PJO #HOO #fanfiction #Thalia #Axel #CREEEEPPSSSS

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sybillinedreamer · 6 years

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answering asks & clearing out the inbox!!!!

asks behind a cut!!! i sort of got behind on my askbox so its a little bit long x

well, when i was about 11 i thought i was some sort of fairy changeling! like, i thought i was some sort of fairy child switched out for a normal human kid? kids are weird

i feel like these feelings totally have to do with me being autistic (and also probably with my being abused at the time & isolated from others because of it), which kinda led to me feeling like an outcast and wanting to come up with a valid reason for it.

i dont know what this means. are you calling me Lawful Neutral? are you referring to some ask meme i reblogged? it shall forever remain a mystery

i really appreciate this even if i dont know why you’d say that! theyve always been a favorite snack of mine, ever since i was a kid.

this seems like its almost definitely in reference to an ask meme. anon i would hug you too!!! hugs are good! tho i would definitely like nice things....like candy most likely PFFT ive been a huge sweetaholic lately

these are really sweet and i want to say i REALLY REALLY REALLY appreciate u, who ever sent these is a blessing and i wish lots of good things for them

NO YOU. i literally have no idea what you look like but aaaaaaaaaa thanks i guess but like!!!! djksklfjsdlkjfsd

omg thats so sweet. my brother is a sweet person guys fyi hes the best

This is a fanmail and not an ask message but it deserves to be included because I owe this person my life.

AAAAAHH WHAT

okay here goes

I like my art no matter what anyone says about it, my abuser made me hate it before and I am never going to hate it again even if it’s not perfect or professional looking!!! I don’t care I love my ugly sloppy art and anyone who doesn’t can go their own way.

I am resilient! I have been through a lot of bad or abusive situations but I am still here, I am still alive and that’s something to be proud of.

I care a lot for my friends and family, and do what I can to be there for them when they need it.

I care a lot for people in general, and try to do what I can to help, if I can! I know the world is a shitty place but I believe we can make it a better place by being good people and by helping and standing up for those in need.

I am growth oriented, and determined not to let myself fall into a pit as far as my development goes. I try to take criticisms seriously, and try not to take it as an attack on me as a person but more as a reference on how to become better.

AUGH LAZLO THIS IS ABOUT THE SAME AS THE LAST ASK.

OKAY HERE GOES, PART 2

i am a nonbinary lesbian and i use pretty much any pronouns other than it/its because i feel that it pronouns are somewhat dehumanizing -- i totally respect people who use them for themselves tho!!

i am planning on maybe trying to make a webcomic some time this summer, we’ll see!

i tend to use all caps when i get emotional and all lowercase otherwise, i’ll use proper grammar and capitalization if i deem it necessary but i have a persona to uphold ok

i really like synth-pop and also songs about being a girl or a lesbian

i go hard for robots, i would marry a robot given that they also had their own agency and stuff. i greatly dislike the concept of sexbots because of the lack of the aforementioned agency

AAAAHHHHHH WHAT DID I DO TO GET SO MANY SWEET MESSAGES IM GOING TO DIE????????

what a great concept im going to do this for 2018

again, not an ask but i am fucking screaming about this url

thats about it for my asks, I also have a bunch of ask meme asks I’m gonna try to dig up ask memes for!!!

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egoiistas · 7 years

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at the center of the world (4)

tag || ffn || ao3

Amestris becomes a harrowingly silent place on the afternoon of the Promised Day and only the survivors at the center are left to tread over it. Within a few hours, they won’t be the only ones wandering. The sacrifices are rising and leaving Central is more dangerous than the looming threat of invading armies.

Rated: M. it’s a horror/zombie au fic. - or it tries to be Warnings: General Horror themes , graphic descriptions of violence(kinda), Death, Zambeez

Chapter 4/11

Edward

“It didn’t work.”

Edward listened as the older man spoke with a grim timbre. It was low, and Ed was surprised he could even make out the words. The sun beginning to seep into the dark chamber with the end of the eclipse distracted him further. A clunk of metal armor colliding with the concrete ground sounded behind him. He felt the world spin as the fight between Greedling and Pride intensified in the background. That Father asshole watched from on high, like a sick kid who watches ants squirm under a magnifying glass on a sunny day.

“What didn’t work?” He asked desperately as he ran to Alphonse, May came out of nowhere next to him. “Al?”

“Alphonse!” May squeaked. “The counter to his transmutation circle. I calculated it for so long and it didn’t work...” There was a pause and the tension could be felt in Ed’s chest.   “But I can use alchemy; they fixed it!” “No, not that one.” He dropped on his knees next to the suit of armor. “The one for everyone’s soul, the reason I left you and Alphonse and Trisha... If I had known, I would have never stepped outside of Resembool.”

The din of battle grew between Father leaving through the hole, Greedling shouting and chasing after him, and the thunderous beat within his own chest. He watched Pride’s vessel disintegrate into dust. “You’re-you’re joking, right? How is … everyone gone? Why isn’t Alphonse waking up?” “What’s going on?” Ed heard the blind Colonel speak finally. He glanced over and Teacher’s clutch over his arm tightened without a word.

His head snapped back to Hohenheim when his father’s hand firmly gripped his shoulder. “Edward, listen to me carefully -- if only this one time. You will need to take him to a hospital, closest one you can find. IV bags are important. Don’t transport him unless necessary. He won’t be able to eat for a while. He will need a lot of rest. Please leave the country as soon as he is able.” “What are you going to do?” He panicked.

Hohenheim opened Al’s front armor plate and a powerful gust flung it across the room. It came from Greedling… Ling crashing into a corner of the chamber. Charred and not regenerating.

Hohenheim wasn’t bothered to look.

“We said we’d never use- Don’t toss me your notes, pops! Hey! If we can defeat the homunculus, we can get them back!” “It’s too late.” He looked up to the light trickling in with tired eyes.”I won’t live through this again.” Ed heard the crackling from the transmutation, and saw the red electricity flash before him. He yelled after him, “Don’t abandon us again, you lousy father!”

Edward cursed Hohenheim. Cursed alchemy. Cursed it all. His shit luck. The figurative shit hand he had been dealt.

He had brief moments where it felt like a dream; a haze that clouded his mind. He hadn’t slept all day, not that he was complaining. His bones were beginning to ache. He didn’t have to look in a mirror to see the bags under his eyes. He sat upright to settle restless legs.

If there was any silver lining to this -- and Ed tried so hard to hold on to it -- it was that they had regained his body back. But it caused inner conflict. In the few hours since, he made an effort to always be by Al, because left alone his mind would wander in the worst ways, and the thoughts that gathered would make his stumps ache. He had felt the cost was too high. He rationally knew it was Hohenheim who paid the toll, yet Ed felt that the gain of his younger brother’s body was not worth the price of losing all the people of Amestris. A swirl of self-loathing would always brew uncomfortably whenever he dwelled on this. Ungrateful, undeserving, even arrogant. The fact that his brain sputtered out of ideas only sunk his heart further and left a putrid taste in his mouth.

Fortunately, all dark clouds would dissipate upon seeing Alphonse. Even amongst the death and desolation, Ed had smiled when he saw the flesh body of his younger brother, and he felt the warmth as Alphonse murmured Brother without a metallic sound to his voice.

Alphonse slept and Ed watched. His cheeks sunken in, brittle hair cut short, and bony throughout. Al had a severe look on his face as he slept; maybe it was just the hollows of his face creating the expression. He was so small. The outline under the blanket silhouetted a human with straight lines and hard edges -- lacking curves of healthy muscle. He was here and resting. May slumbered next to the hospital bed in a wide, cushioned chair; resting her head on its arms. As much as she annoyed him, May pulled through for him where Hohenheim's instructions fell short. He had her to thank for the healthy flush on Al’s bony cheeks. The first few hours were rough. His body didn’t react well to anything, and Ed’s inexperience had shown through. Al had asked for water and like the idiot that he was, Ed had given it to him. He regurgitated it violently and the sight made Ed feel like he was going to break in half from heaving. May had scolded him when she reentered the room and instructed him to clean up the sick as she brought in the IV stand and the bags full of saline. He watched as she took better care of his brother than he could. Ed stood and looked out the window. The eerie presence of bodies was less on this avenue of Central. He immediately turned away, opening and closing the palm of his automail right hand. He supposed it wouldn’t be a bad thing to keep his automail if it meant Alphonse walked around. He sighed, tracing his fingers along the edges and frame of his automail.

Winry.

In every likely scenario, she was mostly likely swallowed in the nationwide transmutation circle. He knew it. It was logical. But every other part that didn’t adhere to logic wished, hoped, and in a desperate corner of his grieving mind, he nearly prayed for her safety, that maybe she did leave Amestris on his advice, but he wouldn’t know unless they went to Resembool. Given Al’s current condition, he couldn’t anticipate when that would be possible. “How is he?” Ed turned in response to the low voice. “Fine,” he whispered. “Just sleeping.”

Teacher leaned on the doorway; a small smile on her lips and arms wrapped around herself. He gestured for her to follow him outside the room. Ed could tell there was a change in her eyes. Somehow, she lost the trademark ferocity that burned behind them. “Perhaps you should too, it’s been a long day.” “Maybe when everyone else gets back.” He rolled shoulder. “Did the chimeras help you find Mr. Sig?” “We did. He was at the bottom of the staircase before they pulled me in, next to the General Armstrong and her brother. We gave them a burial too.”

He could almost hear her heart breaking. He bit his cheek, looked down at his feet and told her sheepishly, “I’m sorry we failed him, Teacher.” “Ed...” She pulled him into a hug before he could protest. He soon realized the hug was for her and not particularly for him. “We’ve all lost someone today.” He stepped away. “That doesn’t make my sympathy any less meaningful.” “Thank you, Ed.” He felt her hand shift towards her face, suppressing a sniffle before she let him go. “Any word from the others?” From where he stood, the sky lit up in a spectacle of smoke and explosion. The flames had blended in so well with the sky that he almost missed it. His eyes widened and his feet took him to the nearest window. “That’s the Colonel’s alchemy.” He felt her pace up beside him. “Are you certain?” “Positive.” He stared as the smoke dispersed into the atmosphere. “I’ll go and check it out.” He slowly shut Alphonse’s door and began to sprint towards the double doors as they swung in front him, inches away of wiping his face clean. The door were forced open by Jerso writhing against something. “Get them- off me please- Zampano-! Augh! they got my ear!” Ed, naturally confused, saw the other bodies come into view. Moving bodies in scrubs and lab coats. But their movements were off, feral and jerking; yet their limbs hung as if their hands were too heavy to lift. And the one on Jerso. A child. Clinging to his face, scratching and biting at his face “Edward!” Teacher’s voice brought him back and he bolted to help the chimera get the body off him. He saw Izumi run towards another body making its way towards Alphonse’s room and flung it towards the crowd of moving bodies in the other wing. He reached for the child ripping the skin on Jerso’s face and before Ed could touch it, the child’s head turned and hissed at him, vaulting from the chimera’s face toward the ceiling.It clung to the surface and crawled like an insect with rapid movement back into the crowd in the other room. The horror of the sight briefly paralyzed him.  

Gorius clutches his shaking friend, “Jerso! Where’s Zampano?”

The chimera held his face in agony, blood quickly showing between his fingers. “Z-Zampano, he was overwhelmed.”  He heard Izumi hastily shut the door double doors and sealed them after a clap of her hands. “Overwhelmed by what?” “The-the-the corpses. They were lying down one minute and the next they were on top of us.” Ed shook his head. It didn’t make any sense. “How is that possible?” It isn’t possible. There has to be some kind of explanation. “We were near the lobby trying to clear the hallways, like you said, when one of the stirred. It happened in the opposite wing of where we are now, near the children’s treatment wing when one of them stood up. We thought that it was just a fluke, that maybe not everyone was dead. Then more and more started rising.” He saw Teacher bring a first aid kit and begin to dab cotton on his scratched face. “Before we knew it half the room was already on him. Ripping apart his insides, intestines and such on the floor beside him…” He tried to look down as Teacher instructed him to keep eyes forward to better treat him. “For him to survive the freaky circle and the god guy only to fall prey to his… “ He shook his head, palms rubbing his reddening eyes. “What kind of cruel joke is this to a man who lost his family already.” Ed felt his fingers tremble. Swallowing hard, he wondered what that meant for the Colonel and the two that accompanied him. “The others are still out there in this.” “Ed, you can’t go out in this alone.” “We can’t just leave them there!” He shouted, realizing this was the first time he’s raised his voice at his teacher. In turn, she had been uncharacteristically quiet since the incident. Another blast of fire. But it was closer this time. Ed darted to the window and he saw the trio taking down the undead citizens of the Amestris. He clapped his hands together, quickly creating a stairwell and impromptu doorway for them from the second floor, using the concrete and the other materials from the edifice of the building. Scar and the Lieutenant adeptly changed their direction, pushing through toward the newly created steps. Ed ran down with Izumi calling after him. It was reckless but if it ensured their safety, he’d risk it. He pushed the bodies aside with walls he created from the ground and yelled at them to get a move on. Scar protected the rear as the Colonel and Lieutenant moved up to the second floor to safety . From a distance, another crowd moved towards him. “Scar, we have to go!” Distracted by Ed’s shout, Scar was unable to avoid an impossibly bloated body slamming into him. It exploded on impact, releasing a cloud of putrid green gas. The Ishavalan began to choke as additional bodies swarmed in .The smell, Ed noticed, attracted them. Ed ran forward and grabbed Scar, attempting to drag him away from danger, a feat of strength beyond that of a 16 year old boy. As the horde closed in on them, Izumi landed at Scar’s side. A tattooed arm around each of them, they carried him up the stairs. When they were all safely through the doorway, Edward clapped his hands, disintegrating the stairs and sealing off the opening. Bodies fell from the ascent and lay twitching on the ground as the rest of the mob began to rush the lower floor of the hospital. “Seal the windows! And exits!” Edward exclaimed. Feeling the spin of the world stopping, he ran to Alphonse’s room, fear clawing a hole in his gut. Bursting through the door he was met with May raggedly breathing and Alphonse clapping his hands, using alchemy to slam a cylinder of concrete into a body flinging it out of the window. “What is going on, Brother?” Alphonse asked wearily. Al’s knees buckled and his eyes fluttered, passing out before Ed had a chance to answer.

Ed darted forward before he hit the ground. “I don’t know Al, but I’m going to get us out of here”

#fmabb17 #fma #fullmetal alchemist #edward elric #fma fanfiction #atcotw #its happening.gif #i feel like i need to add more tags for some reason?#no dead hayates this time. only one.#I'M ALMOST HALFWAY #FSDNFJKSDN #i CAN DO THIS #DKFJSNDFSDF I CAN DO THIS #EEEEEEEEEEEE #*shine

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zenyattasperceptrons · 7 years

Text

sj rambling like goddamn for real

///////

i know it’s not “time for rhetoric”

theres literally people chanting na/zi slogans on the street. and that’s terrifying. and i don’t even know the half of how terrifying it can be. and it needs to stop. yeah.

but. ive been grappling with this phrase in my head for a while. im not quite sure it makes sense yet. but it’s something like, “opposite is not dissimilar.” if something is “opposite” it actually has quite a lot to do with the thing it’s opposite to. It’s across from this thing on one single axis, as opposed to catty corner and off in another section on the y coordinate and blah blah...

so. yknow. no, i don’t think people who use tactics similar to the alt-r/ight, but on the other end of the political spectrum are “just as bad.” it’s very difficult to be “just as bad” as... actual... na/zis ....but. I do think those tactics are incredibly polarizing and short-term and...well, violent. And I don’t know if you’ve looked around America lately (I wish I could stop looking around), polarization looks like an absolute shitshow. I mean, part of it is that the loudest voices are the most extreme, so the ones you hear about are the ones who are pretty set in their ways.

But there are people who follow more right-wing politics that aren’t that polarized. Yet. And they’re probably thinking, yknow...what a mess their party has become. Like, in some ways, don’t you really wish we could trade for Romney right now? Like, he’s obviously not the #1 choice but if your only option was Romney or this, I would take Romney. And I bet a lot of republicans feel that way too. They don’t want to be associated with this. Some might very strongly feel that it needs to stop, they just...aren’t sure what to do about it.

And there’s not a lot of entry points for that when all of the talk going around is something like... yknow.. “all republicans are horrid beings and this was the obvious outcome of their beliefs” etc etc and. so. there’s not a lot of places where people can go and get something like. “okay. we don’t agree on some things. and we’re definitely going to hash that out. but we can do that LATER. right now we need to work together to stop this absolute cancer from taking over america.” but aside our differences. work together. it sounds optimistic, but...is it naive to say that people on any side would like there to not be na/zis in america right now? i... hope not.

i just. I don’t want to be “opposite” to this group. I want to be the wrench in the entire system. I don’t want to hammer this nail so deep into the ground with brute force that you don’t see it anymore, but it might still wiggle out if the floorboards loosen. I want there to be no need for this nail. I want to redo the entire floor, yknow. I want the people who have these beliefs to...not feel anymore like they need them. Now that...that’s naive. That’s idealistic. But I think working with that goal in mind is better than. Not.

I just don’t know how to deal with the short term problem while considering long term effects. i dont have the answer here. maybe...maybe we need to do whatever we can to stop this from happening right now

but. maybe this is a cycle. maybe what’s happening is the pushback just keeps springing over with as much force as it took to push it back down. I haven’t...been alive to see most of these cycles so it’s really hard to make a big picture out of it but. Bush? We hated him. What a shitshow! He was so bad we all rallied together to get Obama elected, and that was good. I’m glad that happened. But then...republicans were so mad about this yknow, the entire government refused to do anything his entire administration. how many times did they do that stupid vote to repeal the ACA instead of getting actual work done? and we thought they were just...being extremely childish about this whole thing! making policy isn’t about standing steadfast in the ground and refusing to move, it’s about compromising and figuring out a solution that can move forward.

and then...the pushback was, unfortunately, this guy. which i still have trouble believing got legitimately elected. i don’t think my heart can take the idea of this guy getting legitimately elected. and...what did the democrats do? they said, no. we’re going to sit and oppose every single thing this guy wants to do. and... i want them to do that. i desperately do. but now i understand how the republicans felt when obama was in office. i can’t say i agree with those feelings, i don’t think “oh, well what they did under obama was okay i guess,” but i understand what it feels like.

but. how do you compromise when your parties are growing more and more polarized with more and more separate ideals and more and more sentiment that the other side is evil and wants to destroy you.

because. well... personally, i can’t think of republican policy without thinking of people...dying in result. in direct result. people need food stamps to eat. they need welfare and health insurance, god do people need health insurance. these policies will kill people, and that is my genuine belief.

and i don’t understand how republicans can oppose what we stand for. I don’t.

But... I do believe they feel the same way. Somehow. I can’t explain it, but I know they feel this way. We are a direct threat to their lives. I don’t agree with it. But it’s a fact that that sentiment exists in some people.

so where do we go from here. we can’t relax and begin to compromise unless they relax and begin to compromise at an exactly equal pace. and how do you do that? how do you enforce that? how do you enforce trust and goodwill? how do you take the first step forward in letting the barricade down without getting completely stampeded by people who are, at this point, absolutely happy to take the opportunity?

i don’t know. im lost. i’m completely at a loss here as to how to move forward.

but i know that pushing back with brute force is...going to end in violence. somehow. we can’t keep up like this. something is going to break. our government cannot operate like this anymore. let’s be honest--it’s not operating like this anymore. our government is no longer functioning.

and that’s how things change, i guess. that’s how colonies threw off their colonizers. a violent revolution. that’s the way to do away with the system and build another on top of the rubble.

but since when has that worked out. that’s not an option i’m excited about. people will die. we all know how war works these days. it’s not a bunch of volunteers going off into an empty field and fighting in the name of their country. it’s personal. it involves civilians. it’s long and drawn out and it’s automated. innocent people get involved. all of those people we’re trying to protect with government benefits--what will happen to them if there’s not a government anymore. i just.

i don’t know what the conclusion of this post was supposed to be anymore.

i think what i really want to say, and what i really want to be true, but wishing isn’t going to make it come into existence

i want to release the pressure. i want people who are capable of doing this, and not in immediate danger, to reach out to those around them and talk to them. i want to be human to each other and i want to be understanding. i want to talk about ideals. yes, i want to sit down and have a goddamn talk about ideals and that doesn’t make me a traitor to our cause because there are so many of us and we can be doing different things at the same time! violence is a shitty patch-up job for what’s going on right now. if you’re in direct danger or someone close to you is in direct danger then yes, take action, please, protect yourself, protect those close to you, protect strangers who need your protection, but don’t pretend like self-defense is a political solution to what’s going on right now. it’s necessary, but it’s not addressing the root cause. we can’t go around perpetuating it because that’s not what we should want. we want people to feel safe because when people feel safe they don’t enact violence against other people at least in the large, large majority of cases. i don’t want those who can’t defend themselves to have to continue relying on other people to help them, i want them to feel safe on their own. i don’t want to put vulnerable people’s lives at risk for the sake of some kind of righteous vigilante justice. i want to have a system that works and to me what that means is people who are willing to talk to each other and be compassionate and address concerns and just. just be human! connect! hold fucking hands and sing songs together!!!!! fuck it!!!

fuck it!!!! the tools of violence are bad tools and the second we lay them down they’ll get picked up by people who will use them against us and idk about you but i dont want to keep violence in an iron grip all my life!!! AUGH

#sj stuff //#i fuck. hate. the whole.#hiddenlayer.txt

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lovethefutureisthine · 7 years

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pen dread!

Can I say fix the ending 5 times?

But seriously, fix the ending because Vanessa Ives does not give up about anything ever, so why should she then? (I can understand being tired of fighting but when Ethan returns you’d think that would make a difference. Or at least make him refuse to kill her and have her listen to reason.)

Lily needed a better, more complete storyline (the whole ending was rushed for every character, so I need to stop saying that, but AUGH I WAS SO UPSET AND STILL AM ABOUT WHAT THEY DID TO MY FRIENDS) bc I was very excited to see her wreck some men! I almost wanted to see Justine take it too far and start murdering innocent men, and Lily would have to struggle to reign it back in.

Speaking of Lily, I wanted her to run into Ethan and them have to reconcile that somehow. Although I know that’s difficult writing to not make ist a soap opera, it needed to be done. And since Clare remembered who he was, Lily could have too (unless she did and I just forgot which may be possible because I erased the last season from my memory pretty much)

I also wanted to see Proteus play a bigger role somehow. While I liked that’s how they introduced John Clare, I liked Proteus too. This is entirely selfish because I understand from a writing standpoint their reasoning. Also more with Seward! She was really starting to become an interesting character on her own. And Hecate! But no love triangle with her. Just if you’re going to have her change her mind, let her do more! And not kill off Sembene because I loved him (this is also entirely selfish he was my fav. I guess it seemed like they killed him too soon because the third season was so rushed)

I also wanted acknowledgement that Seward and Clayton were the same. Not just “oh you look like my old friend” and then drop it. It was a conscious casting decision now make it a conscious writing decision.

There’s probably more and I still love the first 2 seasons, but if I had my way, I’d redo the entire third season and keep very very little. And probably keep it going for at least 4 or 5 seasons because they had just built up the plot to be going somewhere huge and epic, what with Ethan confronting his past, and Lily and Dorian’s storyline, and of course Dracula as the big bad, etc.

#cryptophelia

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