#IM GOING INSIDE YORU INBOX | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cloudcountry · 10 months

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My life sucks. I feel like a living trophy. Is this what Riddle felt like while living under his mother?

For context, my parents had been pressuring me into taking BS in Architecture in college since hell knows when, which is fine by me. I like drawing houses and buildings.

But these past years, it has been... suffocating. I tried considering other courses as a second choice because me passing the college entrance exams is not set in stone. I've considered choosing BS in Interior Design in particular (I love designing house and building interiors, you should see my phone's game manager)

Yet whenever I tried to bring it up, they would reason me out of it. I tried to counter it off with the pros of me choosing the course as a second choice but they just won't budge.

I've been following this set-up for years, so much so that I've already forgotten my real dream job. I have to be the "perfect" me, where if I didn't get the highest grades in the class, I'd be subjected to torturous lectures of not doing enough.

I feel lost. I feel empty. I feel numb. I don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry for ranting on your inbox. I feel like if I keep this inside for much longer, I wouldn't be able to handle this anymore. I really don't know that much people to talk to irl or online. And I feel safe talking to you. So yeah...

I still have a year to finally decide which path I would take in college, yet it scares me. The future's too terrifying to think about.

Can someone please enlighten this lost sheep?

honestly i don't know what to say? mostly because this came out of nowhere ^^;

im sorry you forgot what you originally wanted to do, but if theres something in your life that you love a lot (like interior designing!!) then you should pursue that. obviously i cant just brush off parental influence because theyre important, but you have to remember that you are your own person. they're not going to be in control of your life forever or even be an influence on yoru life forever. you ahve to live for yourself.

im glad you feel safe with me ^^ its important to remember that college graduation is not teh end of yoru education!! you can still go back to the school (even though its EXPENSIVE AS HELL SO YK...I GET THE PRESSURE) but even if youd ont go back to school you can always find something you really love without the schooling!!

the future is terrifying but it comes slowly. you have time. seconds tick by, sure. but those seconds are only seconds. actions take hours and days and weeks to complete. you can be slow. if you let yourself get caught up in everything you'll overwhelm yourself. you have yoru whole life ahead of you. take it slow. even when you're old, if you're still alive you can always find new passions and enjoy new experiences. your life isnt over until its over yk?

you have time ^^ try your best to take it easy, okay?

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