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86-was-his-year · 4 years

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Say My Name | Park Seonghwa Smut |

Warnings: Dom/sub relationship, swearing, selfcest (basically fucking yourself you'll see), oeal (female receiving), anal, male x male, voyeurism, hair pulling, chocking, use of belt as leash (?), crying (again), orgasm denial, orgasm control, Seonghwa being a dom, consensual non-con (but like not?? Idk if this falls in that category,everyone agrees but like non-verbally? Gonna put it here for the peeps who can't read things like this it's okay and of you need to talk I'm here), brief violence

Summary: Seonghwa has to beat his dark alter but it's not in the way you'd expect.

A/N: if you're not comfortable with selfcest you don't have to read and if you don't know what it is then I suggest you look it up so you know if you want to read this. Idk it's been stuck on my head lately and I wanna share my wonderful ideas with you!!

Everyone had a dark alter. You could meet them anywhere, at any age, and at any time. No one knows how it happened but the elders speculate that sometime somehow our two universes collided and pushed our dark alters into our world. There was chaos at first, no one knew who was the dark and who was the good many people went mad. People became obsessed with getting the dark alters into their own universe, scientists even dedicated their lives to it.

The dark alters roamed our world until we found a way to get them back. A man found his dark alter and fought him making sure that he made the dark alter recognize that he was the fake, that he was the copy. And he disappeared the dark alter went back into his own plane and the man was free, but that was ages ago it passed into legend and most people who met their dark alters never lived to tell about it, the dark alters taking their place in our universe.

I met my dark alter when I was a child at the age of 10. My parents were shocked but they couldn't help. To get rid of my dark alter jihad to make her see that I was the real one. I had to make her see that I had a real identity and she didn't belong here. My ten year old brain could only think of one thing that could take her down. A game of rock, paper, scissors. It was a risk but at the same time I was the reigning champ in my 4th grade class.

Well, the game went by easily. Loser had to say the winners name to show that they were the real identity and she faded away like dust blown off an old book. After that I was never the same. I became the youngest female to defeat her dark alter but if I was being honest the publicity and fame didn't make it worth it. Watching myself fade away like that is something I would never forget the pain in her face as she grasped her throat was something that has haunted my dreams almost every night. I was depressed and couldn't regain the happiness I had felt before watching her die, before I met Seonghwa.

His dark hair and dark eyes lured me in and ever since I've been in love with him. We met in freshman year of high school immediately bonding over a certain teacher we hated, convinced that she was actually the dark alter. No one with such a pretty face should be so evil. We figured out that We had most of the classes together and became friends, rumors spread and people talked and it all came back to us in the form of blushed cheeks and quiet giggles in class.

We went to college together and had been dating ever since we occasionally had our fights but who didn't. We always loved each other in the end and then we met his dark alter. Seonghwa had lost his cute boyish charm and was a man, the dark hair was no more and blonde hair took it's place. I personally loved it and I think he knew because every time his roots came in he would touch them up and make sure they were blonde as well.

I was walking around campus when I saw a familiar blonde boy walking with a girl. She was someone that Seonghwa and I had always hated. She had made fun of our relationship a multitude of times and I could feel the anger well inside me as I saw him slip his arm around her shoulder.

"Hey, Y/N!" I heard Seonghwas voice and looked further up. He was still talking to her but I couldn't hear him. A hand wrapped around my shoulder and turned me around. I saw Seonghwas bright smiling face and I immediately knew what was going on.

"S-Seonghwa?" My heart dropped when I saw the worry in his face.

"What's wrong babe? Are you okay?" His hands went up to my face and looked into my eyes. I could feel them start to well up, he would have to go through what I went through. He would have to defeat his dark alter. Once you see them one cannot live while the other walks in the same plane. There was a chance that I could lose him.

"I-He is here." He looked over at the pair and they haven't moved. Still talking and giggling together.

"Who is baby?" He was rubbing the fresh tear from my cheeks.

"Y-Your alter." I instantly saw his eyes darken. He looked around the hall and immediately sad him leaning against the wall, twirling the girls hair in his finger. He looked back at me before pulling me in for a tight hug. I could hear his heart beating against his ribs. He knew that he could lose, that I could lose him and we were both scared.

"It's okay baby, go home." He rubbed the back of my hair before pulling away. He handed me his bag and escorted me towards the door.

"Seonghwa what about you?" I turned in his grasp and stared at his dark drown eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him and he home before you know it." He pecked me lips and help the back of my neck. "You go straight home, do you understand me?" The authority came out in his voice and I bit my lip.

"Yes sir." He knew it was the only way to get me to do the things he asked and I knew I couldn't deny him in this state.I gave him one more kiss and walked out the doors to my car, regretting every step I took. Knowing that may be the last time I ever see him again.

The house was quiet. I had set down my stuff long ago and I was on the couch finishing some homework. It had been 2 hours since I last saw Seonghwa and my heart raced as I thought of what is happening to him right now. He could never walk through that door or he could but it could be the wrong one. Not my loving Seonghwa but his alter, someone who I wouldn't want to be face to face with ever.

Tears filled my eyes as I shut the book I was working on. I couldn't lose him, not to someone like that. Just as I was thinking about going to the school and finding him the door latch clicked and the door opened harshly.

"Seonghwa?" His hair was disheveled and he had small amounts of blood on his grey sweater. But that wasn't the worst part about it. He went further into the house dragging his alter by the hair. His nose had traces of blood on it but that's the only thing that was wrong with him.

I watched as the scene played out in front of me. Seonghwa shut the door and slammed his alter up against it. The shock I'm the dark alters face was evident. He thought that he was going to win the fight and here he was, pressed up against the door like an animal in a steel trap.

"You thought you could beat me?" Seonghwas voice was rough and scratchy. His hand slammed on the door behind his alter and I could see the fear in the alters eyes. The way he acted in the hall was nothing like I saw now. The wave of confidence had dried out and he was in the low tide.

"I-I" the alter had nothing to say his face winced in pain as Seonghwa pulled in his blonde locks. The alter grabbed at Seonghwas wrist and shuddered.

"Are you liking this? You like me pulling on your hair? Roughing you up like you deserve?" He took his hand from the door and put it to the alters throat and that's when I lost it. I was standing up at this point rubbing my legs together to get any kind of friction at all, the scene that was taking place too much for me. I whimpered and they both seemed to remember that I was here.

"Seonghwa?" I gasped out and he turned to me. His eyes dark and his face set, his dom face. I almost immediately wanted to call to my knees but I held myself up as he walked them both over to me, his hand still in the alters hair.

"Look baby, he submitted just like you did." He leaned into the alter pulling his head up to look Seonghwa in the eye, "all he needed was a few hits and he was on his knees begging for it to stop." Seonghwas mouth was so close to his alters that I could almost feel them on my own. He was teasing the alter and it was so fucking hot. The alter opened is mouth and fluttered his eyes shut. Seonghwa brushed his lips over the alters before pulling away the later trying to follow before Seonghwa pulled back on his hair, getting a tiny hiss out of the alter.

"Sir?" I watched as he turned to me, his aura demanding submission.

"I want you to go into the room, strip, and sit on the chair. Keep your legs apart." I shuddered as he grabbed my chin gently kissing my lips before setting me on my way. "As for you, I'm going to fuck you. Hard." I heard his words as I walked to the bedroom and I found myself moaning to myself. I was in for a show.

The cold air wasn't something to be desired but I heard them wrestling around in the living room and I began to pout they were doing something in there and it sounded like fun but I stayed with my feet planted to the floor as I imagined the scene that would happen in just a few minutes. He was going to fuck himself and I couldn't be more excited.

The footsteps became louder and louder and I gasped when they entered the room. His later was in nothing, his cock spring out onto his stomach leaking precum all over. Seonghwa had his shirt and his shoes off leaving him in nothing but his black jeans. The sight made my mouth water and I couldn't help the twitch in my leg as I saw what Seonghwa had done to his alter. His heavy black belt was around the alters neck and he was using it as a leash, the poor doppelganger looked helpless as Seonghwa pulled him along.

Seonghwa turned and looked at the man, he was shaking and I don’t think it was form the cold. His thighs and stomach tensed and relaxed in a spastic movement like he didn’t have any control over his body as Seonghwa rolled is hand around the belt, pulling the boy closer and closer to him until their naked chests were touching. The alter sighed at the contact and Seonghwa chuckled darkly.

“What a pretty boy,” He traced his forefinger along his jaw and held his chin in between his fingers. “Are you going to be a good boy for me?” Seonghwa yanked on the belt and the alter came forward before he was pushed back by his chin.

“I-I’ll be a good boy for you.” His voice was broken the weak sound of it had Seonghwa smirking.

“Wow, using his words. Y/N? What do you get when you behave?” He turned to me and that caused the alter to look at me as well. Two of the same face looking back at me yet one was significantly more wrecked than the other.

“A reward, Sir.” I put my hands on my thighs and dug my nails into the soft flesh there. Not touching myself was proving way harder than I thought. Seonghwa smiled at me before turning back to the alter.

“Good girl. You get a reward.” Seonghwa tilted the boys head up once more and planted his lips gently on the alters. He let out a breathy whine and it went straight to my core, the sound coming form the alters mouth desperate and choppy. The alter placed his hand on Seonghwas bicep and he pulled away ‘tsking’ at the boy.

“Please?” The alter leaned up again only to be stopped by Seonghwa.

“No touching, remember?” He gently took the alters hand off of his bicep and put it behind his back, the other following shortly. “Stay.” He ordered the dark and went back to his lips. He grabbed his jaw and tilted his head to get a better angle. The sound of their hard breath and the slight mashing of teeth and lips had me aroused all over again. Seonghwa was soft with his kiss yet I could feel the intensity from all the way on the other side of the room.

Seonghwa let the belt go and trialed his hand down the alters chest, flicking his nipples to get another heavenly sound out of the other boy. He smiled into the kiss and continued downward, scraping his blunt nails onto the boys torso. The alter let out a shocked gasp before searching for Seonghwas lips again. He seemed drunk off of his kiss, wanting more even though he already had what he wanted. It wasn’t until Seonghwa touched his cock that the alter backed away. Seonghwa was quick to grab the belt and bring him back in.

“What did I tell you to do?” Seonghwas voice was dark and I could tell that he wasn’t happy with the boy moving. I winced at his mistake, it was rookie but it was one that could easily be dismissed as inexperience. I know I did it in the beginning.

“You told m-me to stay.” His voice was shaky and his breath was increasing by the second.

“And you didn’t.” Seonghwas jaw was sharp and focused, he was gritting his teeth at the alter and I began to roll my hips as I watched it flex.

“But you-”

“Are you shy because I touched your cock?” My thighs twitched at his words and as I looked over them so did the alters.

“I- You.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “Yes, sir.” He looked at the ground like he was ashamed.

“It’s okay, pretty boy. Just relax.” He led the alter towards the bed and he sat on it, face to torso with the alter. If he bent down just three inches the boys cock would be in his mouth and my breath hitched at the thought. “Hands behind your back. Now, stay still. I’m not telling you again.” The soft encouragement in his voice was gone and he was commanding once again. He gripped his cock again and the alter whimpered, his fingers squeezing his forearms for support.

Seonghwa smirked up at the boy and I could see the enjoyment in his eyes. The little sparkle that popped in them when someone followed his orders correctly. He was stroking his cock firmly drawing it out as the alter whimpered and cried out, the sound of his precum sliding in between Seonghwas fingers became addicting. The boys whimpers got louder and louder, my whines following his.

“Are you going to cum?” Seonghwa stroked the boy faster, appearing to help him reach his high.

“Yes, Sir. I’m gonna fucking cum!” His cries filling the room. Seonghwa pulled off of his cock and put his hand on his thigh.

“Hold it. Don’t cum.” The alters cock was red and engorged. It wanted to release so bad and by the way he was rolling his hips into nothing he was almost there. Seonghwa had this evil power of knowing exactly when to stop touching you if he didn’t want you to cum. He’s done it to me multiple times and I could only empathize with the alter. The pain of not being able to cum when you know you could just unload is the hardest thing.

“Please, Sir. Please let me cum.” Seonghwa was moving his forefinger around his head pulling his finger off the watch the streams of precum connect his finger and the boys cock. The alter seemed out of breath and desperate as he pulled his hips away from Seonghwa only for Seonghwa to pull his hips back and continue his torture

“No,” Seonghwa stood up and cupped the boys jaw once again tilting his head before kissing him, his favorite distraction. “I want you to lay on the bed hands and knees. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” The dark alter hiccuped and let his hand fall to his sides. Seonghwa walked over to me and grasped my chin smiling when I looked up at him.

“You’re being such a good girl today.” He bent down and kissed my lips tenderly. “Keep it up for me.” I nodded and he kissed me one last time before moving back to the bed. The dark alter was positioned exactly as he was told. Hand and knees with the belt dangling between his neck and the plush covers of the bed.

I watched closely as Seonghwa got what he needed form the bed side drawer. Lube and condoms. He was possibly the most responsible dom I’ve ever met and I smiled as he put them on the bed neatly before stripping completely. The control this man had amazed me sometimes, his cock was hard and at attention but it wasn’t red and touch starved like the alters was. I guess that was one thing that separated them.

“You have to relax for me baby boy.” Seonghwa was behind the boy, lube in one hand while the other rubbed up and down his back. The boy had his head down and was breathing shakily. He nodded his head and let his back arch instead on holding up like he was. His head came up and we made eye contact. The blush on his cheeks was amazing and I watching his eyes roll back as Seonghwa inserted the first finger.

“F-Fuck.” It was like the alters voice went up 10 whole octaves, nothing compared to Seonghwas dark tone that he was using throughout the night.

“You’re being such a good boy for me. Just relax let yourself feel it.” He was rubbing up and down the alters back, encouraging him to do the best he could while rewarding him for his efforts. Seonghwa had picked up a steady pace and the boy didn’t care what he looked like anymore. He was moaning and fucking himself back on Seonghwas fingers, his cock twitching and his voice raising every time Seonghwas hit that special spot inside of him.

“Can I have your cock, please?” The alters voice was sharp and cut off by moans but he made his sentence out. His eyes were permanently shut for the time being and I watched as pleasure rolled off of his face every time Seonghwa pulled out and pushed back in.

“You want my cock? You think you can handle it?” He was teasing the alter but he was also stalling. He wanted to make sure he was stretched out even before he tried to put his cock anywhere near his ass. The alter was getting impatient and Seonghwa would let that happen as long as it didn’t go to his head.

“Yes, sir I want your cock. Please.” The alter whimpered as Seonghwa pulled his fingers out. The alter was a panting mess, his eyes were glossed over and I wanted nothing more that to come over a tell him how good he was doing. Seonghwa was gently rubbing the swell of his ass and I guess that was acknowledgement enough, I watched as Seonghwa rolled a condom on his eyebrows drawing in the middle of his forehead with pleasure.

“Are you ready?” Seonghwa was asking a serious question but it had a teasing lift to his voice to keep the mood up. The alters back was arching and shaking at the same time. He was trying to run away from the feeling but he was also trying to go towards it, his thighs trying to push together.

Seonghwa was the master of going slow, letting whoever he was fucking to adjust to him however long they wanted. It was no different when he was fucking his dark alter he let him take some deep breaths before putting the head of his cock against the alters puckering hole, pushing in when he felt the alter was ready.

“Fuck!” The alter let out a loud yell and threw his head up. It was hard to tell whether it was from pleasure of from pain but Seonghwa stopped and rubbed the boys back encouraging him to relax once more and let Seonghwa continue. It was so hard to see but I could tell that Seonghwa bottom out when he bit his lip. He doesn’t like to let out moans when he’s in charge showing that the person didn’t make him weak even if they did. The alter shuddered and let out the most beautiful sounds. I couldn’t help but close my legs and hope that it would give me some type of friction.

“Baby, what did I tell you to do?” Seonghwas voice wasn’t strained or held back and I whimpered at the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“To keep my legs open.” I complied and opened them back up, putting them on the arms of the chair this time.

“So good for me.” He looked down to the area that his dick and the alters ass met and pulled back just a bit before slowly pushing back in. The alters arms began to shake and he just gave up his face falling into the mattress as Seonghwa continued his shallow thrusts. His whines and whimpers were concealed by the thick cover on the mattress and I guess Seonghwa didn’t like that because he bent down and grabbed the alter by he hair, pushing his head up and his back automatically went into a smooth arch.

“Fuck, I can’t take it. Please I want to cum.” His voice was high and whiny, the sound of him crying out echoing around the room.

“Oh baby are you crying?” Seonghwa pulled back again and then pushed forward, moving the alters whole body as the sound of skin slapping on skin continuing to echo around the room.

“Yes, I need to cum please fuck me.” His words were coming out short and jumbled.

"You shouldn't be crying we barely begun." The alters eyes rolled back into his head and his cock began to leak profusely.

"Please, please, please!" His begging was only getting him so far, Seonghwa was a sucker for begging and I could tell it was really getting to him. His speed picked up and the alters breath began to hitch in his throat.

"You want to cum?" Seonghwa slowed down again and was lightly rolling his hips into the alter.

"Yes, please Sir! I want to cum so bad." The alter looked up at me almost begging me to let him cum and I gave him him a sad smile.

"You gotta do one thing for me," Senghwa pushed in quickly and the alters jaw fell open, "Say my name." The alter gasped and went to look back at Seonghwa only to be stopped by the hand in his hair.

The alter swallowed and nodded and that was Seonghwas invitation to start pounding into the boy, his hips meeting the alters ass with such force. Seonghwa pulled him up by his hair and put one hand around his throat while the other went straight to his cock, stoking it smoothly.

"You can cum, baby. You did so fucking good for me." Seonghwa bit the alters shoulder and the alter finally released.

"Seonghwa!" His voice was broken but he said his name. Seonghwa pulled out and peeled off the condom before throwing it in the trash bin by our bed. The alter was laying scrunched up in the bed as he began fading away. His eyebrows went together and he sighed before completely disappearing.

"Fuck," Seonghwa ran his hand through his hair before looking up to me. "You're glistening, sweetheart." I looked up at his smirking face and blushed. I felt so vulnerable as my juices flowed put of me and onto the chair.

"It hurts." I put on my best whine for him and he shook his head while getting up and and walking over to me.

"It does, doesn't it?" I nodded and he grabbed my chin, images flashed in my head of Seonghwa grabbing his alter by the chin and I whimpered. "Would you like your reward?"

"Yes please, Sir." He chuckled and let me stand up, the feeling of my thighs touching has my head spinning. It was giving me the friction I wanted and I indulged in the feeling. The room was hot and both Seonghwa and me had a thin layer of sweat on our bodies. I mean Seonghwas was a little more understandable because he just fucked someone into oblivion, literally. As we laid on the bed I thought more and more about the dark alter. The way his face scrunched and he just disappeared.

“What’s wrong baby?” Seonghwas head was already in between my thighs and he placed light kisses on my calves and thighs.

“Do you think he’s dead?” I took a deep breath as Seonghwa nipped at the soft skin of my thigh. He nuzzled his head into my leg and looked up at me.

“I think he’s okay. I think he’s back where he belongs now.” His dominate persona was gone and it was the loving Seonghwa. He didn’t let his loving side come out when we were in the bedroom but I think he could tell I was struggling with the alter and he just wanted to be himself.

“How do you know that for sure?” I asked while grabbing the sheets under my fingers.

“I can feel it. He’s okay, I think they were just here by mistake. A chance meeting." He kissed up my thighs again and my breath hitched.

"Please make me cum." The confirmation that the alter was seemingly okay helped me relax and I gripped the sheets below me. I had been waiting for him to do something the whole night and I was aching at this point.

"You don't have to hold it today baby. I give your permission to cum." That meant I was a really good girl today and he was impressed. Getting permission to cum beforehand was the biggest acknowledgement of my good behavior and was indulging in the non verbal praise.

Seonghwa went right for it, giving my clit small kitten licks before finally just going at it. The sounds were the dirtiest things ice ever heard, Seonghwa moaning against my clit as his tongue smeared my juices everywhere. It could be something out of a porno and I bucked my hips into his mouth. He gave my clit a light nip and it had my eyes rolling backwards, it was a warning for me to calm down and stay still but it felt so damn good. He wrapped his arms around my thighs and pushed them open more while holding them down, giving him better access to his work. After all this time watching him fuck his alter I could burst, the vibrations and the sucking of my clit al.kst pulling me off the edge.

"Please please please. I'm so fucking close. I need to cum please, sir." I knew I had his permission but I couldn't help but ask. It was so ingrained in my brain that, 9 times out of 10 I wouldn't cum without it.

"Be a good girl and cum for me. You can do it." He stopped briefly to encourage before going back a nipping my clit before sucking on it and that's what pushed me forward. It needed that one bit of praise, that one bit of encouragement and I could do it.

My vision went white and I squeezed the sheets with all the strength I had left. After an hour of sitting with no friction the orgasm tore me apart. I could feel myself screaming and I could feel my legs shake around his head. As he continued to push me through my orgasm, pulling every ounce of pleasure from me until I was flinching and bucking my hips from the sensitivity.

"You're such a good girl." He kissed up my body until he found me lips, slowly molding then together until I could taste myself in his lips. I moaned and my legs closed around his hips, the throbbing of my clit making it hard to focus.

"I'm sleepy." The orgasm had drained everything in me and I just wanted to sleep. He chuckled and got off of the bed letting the cold air assault my most sensitive areas. He came back from the bathroom with a pair of boxers on, and washcloth, and an extra t-shirt. He wiped me up gently even though I closed my legs around his hand a couple of times, and put me in his t shirt before covering us up.

"Good night, baby. I love you." He whispered into my ear as he pulled me closer to him, my head on his chest.

"I love you too."

It was a good night but the thought of the alter swam around into my mind, clouding my dreams with the thought of him and Seonghwa.

#Seonghwa smut #ateez smut #ateez x reader #park seonghwa x reader #hala hala au #park seonghwa #yeosang #mingi #jongho #san #wooyoung #hongjoong #yunho #ateez

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

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The Mayor of NYC just announced about the closing of the school year and how they tried to bridge the,gap for inequality for 6 years

I'm being honest and I'm not talking shit about him or any administration

I'm talking shit about people

This happens all the time. In elementary schools I shit you Not it happened in a 5th grade class room at La Promosa when I was substituting.

Fights and arguments were more common in high schools

In the middle school in 2016 the first month of classes there was 338 fights before classes started. And teachers trying to break it up got hit.

Im not kidding you. I don't live in the ghetto. I live ina community where they pride themselves on being the best and one of the most upper in all ways of the entire state. Where the government and schools work hard for this. They have won all kinds of awards that had absolutely nothing to do with me

I don't do that kind of system. As you see i do equality for police i do earning by deserving by showing workmanship.

But i don't do favor awards because of where i live. I was against Facebook coming to Los Lunas because we don't have a good traffic system. We have extra bad rush hour traffic that can take 3 hours to go 2 miles. So i was against Facebook coming and causing more traffic through town.

But they came and that had absolutely nothing to do with me. No shame. I don't work in the government. And they're only using solar electricity. So im not gonna bitch about it. It is good for the jobs and so on.

I'm just saying i was against it.

Because the point no matter how hard we try for our community or our schools

There's people that will fight for no reason.

So Mayor Bill while you find it painful, you may be saving some people some pain. Children being bullied. Fights such as these being hidden in school bathrooms. And so much more.

Schools were initially designed to be a safe place

But they aren't any more.

So i just wanted to explain that to all of you.

Seriously the middle school in 2016 had in the 2016 to 2017 school year, 74225 fights/arguments of high intensity that caused disruption in the hearts.

My primary school before i became unable to walk was the middle school. But it was heartbreaking.

What I saw was children coming from a home environment with one teacher and a playground.

Now our elementary schools do a block to prepare them for middle school because the change is so disruptive. So starting in 4th to 6th they change classes for certain subjects. But its only about 4 teachers per grade. So and if one is sick or has a sub or something or the teachers decide they don't want to for special projects they stay in their regular class.

Every thing else they had their whole life. Music and art and PE teachers.

Then thrown into 7 different teachers. No play ground. No desks to keep their things. No lockers. Every one new including the school grounds. They have to carry all their stuff all day in book bags.

It is the most inhumane treatment in the world.

And to make matters worse it's when they go through puberty.

I went to that school over all the schools in the district because i knew they needed me. Because they broke my heart. Because they had a constant cloud of darkness over their school.

Because they were in Hell.

Things were so used to. Things we survived. That we dont have the time to take to realize how much trouble the future of our children are in.

Just the way the school system is organized. Elementary. Middle/Intermediate/Jr High. High school.

I saw memes about zombies wanted in this WWIII

Look into the eyes of a child in Jr high. You'll see the walking dead.

I'm not kidding yoh. They tore my soul apart and broke my heart.

Every day i had to go Just to be there. Just to absorb the air. To make it cleaner for another day for them.

Turn out one set of lights. Open the blinds for the sun to come in. Do what i could to allow their brains to receive oxygen

And not neon fluorescent tube light's radiation.

Let their lungs expand and breathe so they could learn.

That is just is a basic.

It didn't help long term. Just a basic band aid.

Then allow them a voice. Allow them to speak on their own.

So, my choice to pay governments to shut down schools of 5 Billion dollars NYC will get...

It is for a reason.

My choice to have children at home worldwide

Is because i saw the suicidal desire in children's eyes. Because just of the change of the ways school systems are established.

Those children need to be home to recover.

They need more help than you will ever know.

They need more hugs and love and home cooked suppers and Happy Meals than you can imagine.

I care about those kids. I care about their parents and guardians. I care if they're homeless and on their own.

I worked plenty of special ed as well as regular education. Special ed was my favorite because they tried to blow through that black cloud every day and they also did it for the people around them

While they're termed stupid and dumb because of their lack of reading or math ability, most are the strongest of all the schools to bring light into the lives of others.

I remember this girl. She looked so dead inside. She walked up to me slow and in pain. "Idk what to do today I can't concentrate. I just don't feel right"

I looked around the room..

"Do you need the nurse?"

"No"

"Well I think you're not going to be okay take your things and go sit over my John. So I don't have to keep yelling at him for talking. Tell him I said to talk to you. He's the kid in the back from here against the wall three seats or rows back however you call them"

At that time i didn't know he was in reading special ed. I had not done his class period yet.

But i felt the most positive energy coming from his area of the room and he looked like the leader of that zone. I worried it was a mistake. That he could lead her astray.

I saw the darkness deepen "i said for her to go over there" the cloud prevented their brains from hearing and processing "HEY! YOU WANNA TALK? TALK TO HER! BECAUSE I SAID OR ILL SEND YOU TO THE PRINCIPAL. OR HEY COME HERE AND ILL EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU"

So he came up "what? Im trying to be good. And she told me i had to talk to her"

"Am i here every day? No I'm not. There's something wrong with her. Its probably something at home that has nothing to do with you. Or maybe her and her friends got into a fight. Whatever. But what i do know is you like being the center of attention and talking a lot. So what i need you to do is talk to her. Not solely but include her in your group. Can you look st her please? Tell me what you see."

"Like she wants to die or some one to take her out and shoot her in the street"

My tears prevented me from saying more "then i think you know how to handle her without doing that. Do you play a lot of video games?"

"I used to. But my mom and dad kept taking it away for me being bad in school. I have it now though i just haven't played in years"

"Well i tell you, John, i think you should start playing more as a reward from me for helping her. And you should tell your parents you're doing well socially. And she should change her seat"

"What do you think has happened to her? Something bad or...?"

"I think she's just alone. Maybe just this class or. What this is right after lunch? She may just being of a social anxiety for leaving her friends from the cafeteria"

His eyes light up "I've been in special ed all my life!! I know exactly what that is!! I can help!! Thank you Miss Teach!!"

I never saw that girl again. She ceased to exist. That class never existed again. It transformed completely into a smiling sunny happy class room. It didn't matter if all the lights were off.

Each and every single child in that room shone with brightness...

It wasn't over night. It took Team Work.

But they worked it. And it worked.

Im not talking shit about the teachers. The teacher gave them work i didn't need to teach. Just work they already knew how. Which gave me the opportunity to look and view the students in a way she didn't have the time or freedom of mind to. A lot of time she just gave them a "catch up day" catch up on old assignments and homework they hadn't turned in. She gave them one every 2 weeks so she didn't have to fail them. So she just added one in or switched it from the regular day. And she had extra credit worksheets for them to do when they finished.

So no matter what you do. There's always gonna be a problem.

Our problem for Quarentine is Essiential workers. They can't stay home. They can't give nor receive the special attention their family and friends deserve.

This is why worldwide people are saluting and applauding and thanking and doing charity for them.

This is why we set aside special vacations and money for them and their families.

Yes you, too, my store workers. Including Wal-Mart. I got shamed yesterday by one of my stout workers i always see in Wal-Mart that goes the extra mile. "What about us. Ain't no one said shit especially you"

He didn't say the word shit but... You know what i mean. It's what i heard.

Which is funny cause the last time i saw him he was stocking toilet paper.

So understand why shutting down the schools is so essiential. Why communities are being paid so much. No community school district is being paid less than $6 million to shut down for the school year.

I want you to understand why.

Because its out of control. Its dangerous. And it is damaging our humans and aliens. And it is damaging our future on Earth to be successful.

So you stressed out moms.. Chill the fuck out.

Please. Please for the love of God.

Assualt your child with a hug. Just grab them and say "i didn't know. I'm here for all those moments you felt alone. Just come and find me and ask to do something together"

Assault them with love.

This is World War 3 people. Get into action!!!

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